fake dating prompts
“we don’t have a child” “we do now” *silence* *shoves child out of the closet* “here meet my niece”
should we sleep in the same bed? idk i guess but don't touch me
there's really no reason for us to kiss this passionately but let's just — woah wait a minute you're a pretty good kisser wait what is happening oh ym god we're making-out is this part of the terms and conditions i just clicked agree
''let's just practice kissing'' you know, just to make sure our kisses look authentic . not because we're in love with each other or anything , just to make sure we know what we're doing
''do i have to remind you that we're not actually married?''
is it really necessary to move into the same apartment? also your stuff is everywhere. it wasn't enough to invite yourself into my home? you're just gonna toss your things--hEY that’s my closet why is half of my closet on my BED
“hold my hand” “no” “hold my hand” “i said no” “they're looking'' *immediately grabs hand, adding a pretentious smile*
you and i had a pretty bad argument, so bad that you ''moved out,'' and now i'm sitting here, fiddling with my ''wedding ring,'' thinking about how much i miss you, realizing how happy you made me
''WHY DON'T YOU LOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR'' ''I'M NOT USED TO SOMEONE LIVING WITH ME'' because i accidentally walked in on you showering
“so, character A, how long have you guys been dating?” *character A zones out* *character B kicks them under the table* character A: “what”
you’re going on a date? do i have to remind you we’re married
''you know, since --'' ''shut up.'' *glares offended* ''no wonder no one wants to date you''
look . i know this is fake and all but the fact that you’re on a date with someone else is really making me jealous and now i’m sitting here in my apartment, watching bad television while eating KFC wishing you were Next to me
''you... don't know how to do your laundry?''
we're about to go to sleep, and you're upset. instead of telling me what's wrong, you ask me to hold you . it's the first time we cuddle but it feels right
''do i have to remind you that we're not actually married?'' ''no but we could be.'' ''what?'' ''what''
calling your “wife’s” mother by the wrong name and your wife's entire family stares at you, so you try again, more carefully this time, “patricia…?” and your ''wife'' sighs, burying her head in her hands as she utters the loudest groan of defeat you’ll ever hear
a character coming home one day and exclaiming ''what the hell did you do to my apartment????'' (they refurnished the whole living room)
''oh somebody mistreated you? let me just-- '' *cracks knuckles* ''i'll be right back''
ok… wE'RE in the privacy of our own home. nobody can see us why are we kissing
''it was never real to begin with'' ''it was real to me''
you're leaving for work, and you kiss me goodbye... i don't think that was supposed to happen because again, we're in the privacy of our own home
the lines between what is fake and what is real is getting kinda blurry and i need to leave for a while to figure things out
you’re on a date and i’m so in love with you and i know i'm acting recklessly and i don't mean to show up at your date but i do so anyway, and your date leaves because i might as well be proposing the way i speak to you and you're pissed at me and i don't know what to do because you storm out of the restaurant and you won't pick up your phone and i've probably called you a million times in an hour but that's because i need to apologize and make this right
''so that's it? no more fake dating?'' ''no more fake dating.'' ''okay. good.'' ''yeah.'' *starts kissing*












