my faith is sick and my skin is thin as ever

~~ shriek ~~ 18 ~~ TW~~

[shriekingseas]

Why Hello There, fellow fuck up.

Call me Shriek, I use she/they pronouns, or whatever floats your scrote. 

I'm 18. Idc how old you are, just don't be weird about it. Also don't reblog my shit with ED SHeeran tags !!

OBLIGATORY GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE WARNING: 

I am not pro in any way shape or form. I am so unbelievably tired of this shit. If you are here, I understand that any comments I make to try and get you to leave will probably fall on deaf ears— but just know that this shit doesn't end where you want it to end. It doesn't end in cute outfits on pinterest. Fuck, it doesn't even end in de@th for those of us working towards a slow, delicate sewerslide. Just a lot of pain and anger for you and those who care for you. It's purgatory at it's finest. 

That said, I vent here, so TW for ED, SH, drugs, gender dysphoria, svicide, and all that fun shit. Absolutely no form of -sp0 (thin$p0, mean$p0, fat$p0). No body chex. I don't really post personal numbers, and I won't ever post my stats. 

!!!! I really fucking adore sheep, you can send me sheep and I will send you sheep... this is my ideal form of friendship and I would absolutely love to be friends with you !!! My asks and messages are always open!!!

xoxo

Shriek

[shriekingseas]

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps

[shriekingseas]

tumblr is the only place i will ever openly admit to experiencing any of these emotions

[shriekingseas]

i scream at myself just like you used to

[shriekingseas]

AND I CANT EVEN CUT CAUSE IMMA HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI IN A WEEK FUK

[shriekingseas]

my guilt will eat me alive

[shriekingseas]

scrolling through my own blog is making me so sad 

[shriekingseas]

i feel like im ten years old getting my blankets torn off of me and getting screamed at by my father... but this time its just my own fucking brain screaming

[shriekingseas]

im too stupid to exist

[shriekingseas]

the worst part is, im not even a bad person. i could handle that. i am simply a stupid person, and that is so unacceptable.

[shriekingseas]

i am a horrible human being and i dont deserve anything

[shriekingseas]

im such a bad person

[shriekingseas]

GUYS I FORGOT I HIT SOMEBODY IN THE PARKING LOT 

and i looked at their car and it was fine and i looked at mine and i thought it was fine but apparently my dad saw dmage on mine and im so scared that i missed the damage on the other car im such a bad human i dont deserve anything

[shriekingseas]

im so overwhelmed

[shriekingseas]

it makes me sick i dont deserve this

[shriekingseas]

i feel so ungrateful. my parents and sister got e such beautiful (and expensive) gifts for my birthday this year and I really do love them so much and am so grateful that they did this for me but its just... a lot. Like i dont really know what to do with everything or myself. I feel so undeserving for all of it and i feel like i owe them something huge now that I just dont know how to give them. im so anxious about it and i feel so guilty for that

[shriekingseas]

scared cause i have to be super mentally stable starting in 8 days for a whole month (Like SO FUCKING mentally stable its ridiculous the level of expectation lol) and its really gonna interfere with my annual april suicide attempt /:(