Meals and Boon

Romanticised eating experiences from a free-range forager, dining out on dining out, who is deliciously discerning and just a little bit dirty.

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Meals and Boon on Twitter

“Totally agree @fleurdelysLDN Brioche Burger buns mean instant detumescence to @fuckyeahnoms too 🍆😧😭#deathtothebriocheburgerbun @rootandbone”

There couldn’t be anything worse for all you fellow Brioche Bun Haters, I hate to say it, but the words: “Mum’s gone to Iceland”.  http://bit.ly/2xbzQUl  

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Meals and Boon on Twitter

“The #OfficeChristmasParty Awkwardness Avoidance Guide #1. Don’t ask someone who likes food to eat at a chain. ⛓🙅🏻💔 @gracedont @HuffPostFood”

Dating advice for hungry people

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The Latest Pairing for Your Cookies: Cockroach Milk?

In the Western world, the only time you'd associate food with cockroaches is health code violations. And while other cultures and countries are more open to cooking with and eating these and other little buggers, insects are probably not a food trend that will be adopted by the West anytime soon. But what if there's a protein powerhouse hidden inside this insect? (Yeah, we know, the idea of milk and bugs is even less appealing than the idea of fish cooked in milk, but stay with us here.) That's right: Healthy, nutritious cockroach milk is crawling into position to steal the spotlight from

London is still in two schools with regards to Lactose. It's still semi-skimmed or nothing at some cafes. That, or go to an eager-to-please independent cafe and have the choice of all manner of goats milk flat whites/cold pressed hemp seeds/ drip blended- wankery and that’s great! My dichotomy, no, it's not about decaf; it’s that I’m quite partial to a lovely Monmouth coffee but I resent their prudish stance on refusing to serve non-dairy milk. I can forgive them, though, for the fact that they offer you a free espresso to try before you buy if you buy a bag of beans to take home. Which I much prefer to do. The reason being, once I'm at home, the percolating possibilities are endless; I have every kind of coffee making wanky gadget at home. 
I can have all the milks under the sun, (or whatever Tesco has on offer : /) Condensed milk for Vietnamese coffee, coconut milk for a nutty fresh jazzy afternoon taste, or just plain old no-frills value soy milk for the day-to-day cafetiére-full I need to get me going each morning. 


I even think my local suburban coffee shop barista has started ordering in almond milk for my regular lattes, though, I do love to be a messer and occasionally not have milk at all sometimes. 
Anyway, it doesn’t seem like that long ago that it was common to be served an instant coffee at a cafe and I remember the payoff, that eating from a decent greasy spoon meant sub par coffee on seeing a cost-cutting industrial sized tin of Nescafe on the side.

Coffee’s come a long way in the last 5 years and as much as I now can’t bear the ubiquitous high street coffee chains, at least they all generally use alPRO*, and that's the bare minimum if I’m desperate for a caffeine fix and sadly a Tony’s cafe coffee in a polystyrene cup won't do in any instant. (*That’s Alpro Professional Soy milk, yes my way was a lot easier to say. They missed a trick there. Call me Alpro!)

However here’s one coffee trend I can't imagine I could get with. Cockroach Cappuccino anyone? http://food-hacks.wonderhowto.com/…/latest-pairing-for-you…/ Insects are supposed to be the food of the future. They're totally sustainable and incredibly good for you. Almost 2/3's of the world eats insects and we're still late to the party.

I’m not a squeamish food date, I’ll eat brains on brioche, I LOVE jellied eels and don’t think me to have offal table manners if suck a roasted marrow bone dry at the table, but I can’t help thinking that it might take quite a fair few cockroach fetuses to make a Frappuccino.

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So atheist lover of gruel, scientific lamenter of bad food and accomplished author of a few of my own hard backs, doesn’t seem to get a metaphorical hard-on about his din dins? Poor man. Richard Dawkins posed the question on Twitter, "...why does sex feel like the greatest experience life has to offer, but eating just routine?" Well we all know that when something becomes routine, you get good at it. Whether that’s the sex, cooking rice, or poaching an egg. It just takes practice; just like the sweet, sweet time you spend with yourself in the kitchen, or anyone else for that matter. Whether it’s accomplishing avocado recipes or succeeding in sauces, Mr D, you only have to look to our friend The Internet for inspiration, food porn may I add is also much more accessible nowadays. (No more flicking through sticky Good Housekeeping magazines required!)   Don’t be be God(damned) deluded about the powers you wield Sir. Food is not to be blamed for being bland, nor is it to be lamented for being lame. So without further ado, a recipe inspired by one of the sauciest ladies in Hollywood, our very own home-baked Dame Joan Henrietta Collins, Mr Dawkins, which prompted me to post this for you. Richard, if I may, I take it you haven't tried a hot baked potato with caviar yet, have you?

I read an anecdote from Dame Joan in the sidebar of (I think) the Evening Standard mag, she cooed it was a quick and easy midweek supper her hubba-hubba makes for her. My FOMO went out of control, the possibilities! (I exalted to myself whilst commuting home on the Victoria line with the mag in my lap, accidentally nudging an oversized man in a tight suit next to me, I slightly nudged him from his place in the Financial Times). Indeed the possibilities are endless with most cooking, like I said, homeboy, it’s all about routine. Start doing it and doing it a lot. Food is something to fancy, not to forsake. I’m sure you get invited to lots of exquisite dinners, but I urge you to get yourself to an exotic East Asian Food Market. Bring lots bottles of things you don’t understand the writing of home and you’ll be surprised with how much pleasure a bottle of stinky fish sauce can bring you, keep in your safe place; the balsamic bliss of Modena’s most mouth-pleasing export, anchovies even and I can’t stress enough for you to take your time. There’s a lot to be said for slow joys; like the humble slow cooker, that  does it all for you, languishing away, bubbling in your kitchen’s corner, taking care of herself, ready to please you when you come home. If you like it hot and quick, then get your woks-off to a high temperature to seal in the awe inspiring umami flavours of fish and keep in the colour of vibrant vegetables. 

With with my superpower of being able to make anything vaguely boring or healthy, really dirty; here is the moment you have been waiting for: The Bouji-est Bouji Baked Potato (inspired by Joan Collins), you will ever have. In a 90 minute just baked voluptuous potato, slap in some butter, then spoon on this well mixed mixture which consists of: A tablespoonful of that cheap and amenable lily white, creamy Philly cream-cheese (you no doubt have in the back of your fridge, you naughty scamp), a handful of chopped firm spring onions. A dollop of cooling natural yoghurt, a spoons-thwack pool of fresh grated (or from a jar) horseradish and a some shavings and shards of hard salty Parm(esan cheese). Gently drizzle a spurt of balsamic vinegar over 2tsp of caviar (I bought a jar of inexpensive John West lumpfish caviar for Christmas and it didn't get used, I’m not that sophisticated to have the sort of thing like caviar lying around usually, I’m sure Joan does) and then without getting too excited, spoon on as elegantly and as delicately as you can. This served 2, so it’s a recipe enough for yourself and a “special” guest.

Now eat it like a ravenous burly truck driver whilst feeling glamorous like our gal Joan Collins, a very full and satisfied mightily fortified Dame Joan Collins and then and only then, tell me about the greatest experiences life has to offer. If it doesn't give you an epiphany or anything else for that matter, then sir, there is no God and you are doomed. Good luck, a friend. 😜

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Hubble Bubble! Make a feast in your cauldron.

Instead of bumping into blood sucking vampires as things go bump in the night tonight, celebrate Halloween, (All Hallows Eve) traditionally.  Did you know that on this date of remembrance for the faithfully departed, it was historically marked by feasting (and something that won't scare-off vegetarians), it was also customary to abstain from meat.

Foods that were favoured were seasonal English apples, country cider and the humble potato, but back in days of yore when people were hell-bent on witch-hunting, one would have had to have kept  it humble!

You wouldn't have dared to pepper your potatoes, or brazenly sprinkle cinnamon and stud cloves on your sweet apple pies for fear of being called out a 'Witch'!

How ghastly! If you do want to keep it traditional tonight, fear not! It might be fright night, but you don’t have to keep things frightfully bland if you want to be faithful to the festivities.

'Witch' is a good job Greenwich Pantry’s shelves are bursting with flavours. That’s what we’re all about: Feasting and flavoursome deliciousness, but do spare a thought, whilst you get your worst witch on in Greenwich this weekend: Think back to the women centuries ago accused of the serious crime of witchcraft; persecuted for flavouring food, cast-out of communities for healing with herbs and accused of all sorts of wrong doings for keeping company with familiars. (That’s the likes of cats to you and me).

Dreadful to think, that in reality the accused women were usually the poorest women in society, marginalised for being the unmarried singleton and with no access to healthcare, who would have had to rely on experimenting with natural home remedies. So in the days of the unexplainable, with no way of Googling oneself out of a situation; just the mere sniff of sage, would have landed you in the stocks.

Speaking of stocks, tonight I am going to celebrate all things soupish and bewitching, just me and my faithful cat. With a cup of hot herbal tea, I am going to soothe my sore scratchy winter worn throat with some traditional and antibacterial natural Greenwich Honey & lemon and I am going to hubble bubble boil, with no trouble; cook up a storm.

Tonight as werewolves howl in the wind, out from the windows of my house will pour steam and sumptuous flavours like fresh ground Indonesian long peppers and the bewitching green brew of piquant Anita’s Goan Green Curry Sauce to ward of the Ghouls.

So if you want to try a seasonal spicylicous and vegetarian feast this Halloween here's an easy delicious recipe for a Bewitching Pumpkin Curry.

To make 5 portions you'll need

2 large carrots 1 medium pumpkin or squash & a selection of vegetables Wharfedale Rapeseed Chilli Oil Anila's Green Goddess Goan Curry Sauce The Real Basmati Rice Co Basmati Rice to serve Some nuts of your choice and spoonful of sugar to toastily caramelise them

I bet Macbeth's Witches would have loved the texture from my recipe, but I don't really rate theirs.

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howler's wing"

This comforting recipe is smooth yet chunky and crunchy, with sweet caramelised pieces of tender squash, and veggies with bite. Wolves and goblins and ghosties and ghouls, if you want to trick of treat me at mine, there’ll be no sorcery within. If I don’t answer the door, i'll just be clanging my saucepans.

You won't help but feel sorry for those puritanical potato peddlers of yesteryear, I'd be praying for flavour. They we’re really missing out. If you need me tonight, I'll be on my broomstick!

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Step 3.

I can almost hear your fillings falling out. Oh don’t worry, a little of what you fancy does you good! Another twist on Strawberries and Cream. One of your 5 a day even. Almost. 

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Step Two.

Yeah I used store bought Jam. And What? I’m gonna be Jammin like a Wailer in a few weeks come summer soft fruit season. You’ll see. 

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Here are a few steps to swiss roll heaven.

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Above is the last supper enjoyed by the Emperor of Rome, Gaius Julius Caesar. Sort of. I love the high-energy style of filming food that we have seen ont’ telly recently, and fancied a little leap in the direction of that particular bandwagon. This is my own spin on the work done by those crafty …

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Sun’s Out, Buns Out. That’s what I’m about today! 

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Woooph, take a deep breath from time to time, smashing up a celeriac often helps.

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Yeah, this is what winter is for! Hibernating and being in a warm cozy kitchen.

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Give us our daily bread. Dr Atkins, kiss my doughy derrière. Happy Homemade Bread Day, me hearties!

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May I (sort of) Formerly Introduce Myself

Hi there 

I’d just like to introduce myself (properly), I’m Joyce.

You may have seen snippets of my writing recently retweeted by my new foodie soul-sister, Lara from the @GreenwichPantry. Perhaps you’ve read about my travels whilst I’ve been defying the end of Summer, but I’m very grateful to be on board now as their guest blogger. 

I’ll be reviewing what The Greenwich Pantry has to offer and I’ll be sharing my honest thoughts and musing on my favourite things about food. 

In the meantime you can continue reading at www.mealsandboon.com  of course or follow me @MealsandBoon 

I’ll be posting my reviews on The Greenwich Pantry shopping pages, I’d love to see what you think of the products too?

I like eating out, but not as much as cooking at home,  I like alliteration but not litterbugs and it bugs me if a plate gets taken from a restaurant table before the last person has finished eating. 

Having recently changed jobs I recently plucked up the courage to put ‘I’m a keen Food Blogger’ on my CV, you know the bit where you put ‘other interests’ and after a string of recent interviews, I got a new job. Hooray, but in the chat bit of one interview just as we got to the question, “So Joyce what are your interests out when you're not working” (I’m always working) but the interviewer chimed in and said, “Don’t worry actually, so long as you're not one of these people that takes pictures of your food and blogs about your breakfast…” Gulp. (Cue my mind Insta-montage of runny eggsplotions and cake close ups, simmering dumplings in stew, #bakefails galore, oh my!)

The interviewer obviously hadn’t read all of my CV, but whilst in mid mind montage, I’m sure my face said it all. “It’s not all  food” I piped up to reassure, “some of it’s my Cat”. 

Alas, I didn’t get that job. Admittedly to you all, that is exactly what I do. I photograph my food, turn my bad restaurant experiences into narratives and well, I just love all things eating. Whether it’s at home or on the town I’d love to share my stories and reviews with you. Today I made #ROTD (Review of the Day) on @Yelp, here’s another #ROTD from earlier in the year and when I made the Weekly Yelp too. 

Thanks to Paul at Spread The Word who introduced me to Lara and I really look forward to chatting to you and hearing your foodie stories.

Happy chomping through Tuesday Night x

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Time for a Treat

For a family treat we took to the West End and saw Matilda recently which brought back all the memories and joy I found in the descriptiveness of Roald Dahl’s writing. 

Dahl details the sounds and sensory experiences of eating with a Michelin chef’s meticulousness. He just puts to use onomatopoeic phrases so omnivorously satisfying like similes of grotesquely rich sweet delights pit against exquisite eerie textures. In one of my other favourites, The Witches I love whenthey moreishly get to munching on the macabre. When I was a child,  reading these stories made my mouth water.

             In Matilda, I enjoyed the deliciously devilish chocolatey fate bestowed upon Matilda’s mate Bruce Bogtrotter. Seeing the young actor (Rory Fraser) on stage balloon whilst face planting a giant Chocolate Cake made me smile despite that the deed was dealt by a show stealing Miss Trunchbull (Craige Els).

I wanted to satisfy my own chocolate cravings at interval time, however there were only the bog standard family bags that Bogtrotter would have approved of, bright packets filled with sugar and vegetable fat, things I now shun in favour for higher quality chocolate. 

Like Bruce my own relationship with chocolate was once a naive greedy one, but I know I’m not alone. Just the other day I saw a girl shoving a galactic sized bar in her gob at the bus stop. I wish I could have given her a conscious alternative.

      I promptly retweeted a link to The Bitter Truth  by one of my favourite young journalists, @StaceyDooley.

OK, a little of what you fancy does you good, but really we need to start recognising what does? What satisfies us? 

Having now tried a glut load of glorious rich beautiful chocolate (and if you want to, too I’d suggest @TheChocFestival), but I can’t say that anything you’ll find in your average corner shop, even touches the sides. 

With such a massive market of high welfare chocolate available now; chocolatiers paying growers fairly, makers monetising on mindfulness and it's effect on the environment and also our health, it brings treating yourself into a new delicious taste dimension. 

One chocolate company I must mention and I do implore you to try is Conscious chocolates,  my favourite is the Love Potion Number 9. Scented with rose and has a soft fudgey buttery texture, you’d never know you were delving in to the Divine, despite being guilt free. It’s flavoursome and vegan/gluten free too.     

So with Conscious chocolate, one can luxuriate in the delicious experience of chocolate in it’s purest most delicious unadulterated form as the Gods intended and it’s in keeping with Lara’s ethos of being treatwise.

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The Candy Project tries to define the cultural importance of candy 

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Speaking of Pantries recently...