Outnumbered.

[shrinkingmomasaurus-blog]

"TP" the closet monster

Never a dull day our crazy household.. Jist: Oldest is in the restroom screaming for more toilet paper so the toddler runs to his rescue. G: "Mom I ran out of toilet paper! I only had enough for one wipe!" Me: "Okay, X is getting a roll..." X (3 years old) is frantically looking for the extra toilet paper stash to help his brother but isn't having much luck. Finally directing him to the correct closet he moves the dog house blocking the door and brings me the swim bag and a Lowes bag full of parts on the living room couch. As he turns to run back for the toilet paper there's knocking coming from the wall where the closet is. His face looks like he has seen a ghost and he refuses to take even one step in the direction of the door yelling at me that there's a closet monster! "G stop knocking on the wall, you're scaring the baby!" Hysterical laughing is coming from the bathroom. X doesn't appreciate his brothers humor but accepts it as an explanation for the knocking. It isn't a closet monster after all! As he reaches the half way point from me to the closet the swim bag he put on the floor in front of me falls over .. Faster then a bolt of lightning with the same horrified look as before X is hiding behind me on the couch while I try to contain my laughter. Apparently G grew impatient because just as I had convinced X to go back to the closet the bathroom door opens and he wobbles out holding the back of his underwear away from his butt.. "What is taking you guys so long?! This is awkward. It feels squishy in my crack Mom! Where's the toilet paper!!?" Life with boys .. #Priceless 😂

[shrinkingmomasaurus-blog]

Everyone Is Entitled To An Opinion..

I am so sick of hearing people talk about the Harambe incident.. I'm probably an asshole for this but it needs to be said.. A.) If you can't control & monitor your 7 kids in a public setting .. Please don't go! B.) A 4 year old is not a toddler! C.) You are a parent, you are the authority. You don't argue with your 4 year old about what they want to do. Your child should respect you and know when mom says no she means no. Especially about something so fucking dangerous! "Mom I want to get in the gorilla cage!" "Oh no little Johnny we can't do that right now. Hold onto my pocket while I take some pictures." Smdh D.) To all of the witnesses who have come forward with detailed statements about how they watched the child climb and crawl through barrier after barrier shame the fuck on you! You are part of the problem. I do not give a fuck who you are or how that mother would have reacted to you touching her kid. Be a responsible adult and grab the kid and get him back to safety. It makes my blood boil that we live in a society where people will watch the unthinkable happen without batting an eye and then of course they're there cell phone ready to capture how it all plays out. And for what? Because someone wants to say we didn't want to be that person touching someone else's kid at the zoo while it crawled through barriers towards an animal enclosure after the mother said they couldn't get into the cage?! I am sad the gorilla lost it's life due to human negligence. This was obviously something 100% avoidable. But I am also incredibly sad at the society we live in. "Accidents" like this will continue to happen until someone gets more than a "mistakes happen" lecture and actually faces a consequence. Just like people leaving their infants in cars which leads to death, outside with a pool gate open or in the bathtub while they go back inside or out of the bathroom for even just a second. You created a life! You are responsible to care for and think for and protect that life. If you aren't able to that, you don't want that responsibility be an adult and give your child to someone who will make those good choices for them. No child deserves to be harmed or hurt or killed because of parental negligence! And not one fucking parent who is negligent with their child should be able to walk away as if nothing happened. PS. I am not a perfect parent and I have no issue stating that

[dover]

Reblog with the Mom Phrase you say the most

You know, the thing you say a million times a day that you are completely sick of saying and wish you never had to say ever again.

Here is mine:

No screaming in the house. We use inside voices.

[shrinkingmomasaurus-blog]

"What were you thinking?!"

[shrinkingmomasaurus-blog]

Hi.

Stay at home momasaurus of 3 little boys (10, 8 & 3); make it 4 little boys if you count my husband who let’s be honest, is basically just an overgrown child.

Working on losing the weight motherhood has packed on me in the past 11 years all while completing my tasks of daily life which I recently learned are NOT equivalent to holding down a job. So, stick around to read the good, the bad and the ugly and likely way too honest happenings of our life. Prepare yourself to laugh, cry, and probably laugh so hard you’ll cry because you never know what’s coming next from this crazy family of 5!

DISCLAIMER: I say all of those “naughty mommy words” your mother warned you about so if you can’t handle them… I understand you not sticking around.

XO, Momasaurus