Today I took my kids to the zoo. I had been planning on taking them sometimes this week, just as something fun to do to pass a summer day. Last week I asked one of my mom friends if she and her kids could join us, and they were busy. I asked two other mom friends, and neither of them even replied to my text.
As the kids have gotten older, I have spent less and less time with my mom friends. For a while I was desperate for them, for play dates, for another kid to entertain my kid, for another adult human being to interact with. I would ask random moms at the park for their phone numbers if Eleanor played well with their kids. It hardly ever worked out. Maybe one or two awkward playdates or walks around the lake, then silence on both ends. But I made a small number of good mom friends (like, two) who I saw regularly, then less and less as our kids entered preschool then elementary school.
When this summer began, I wondered how I would keep us all happy and sane without the structure of school, and I told myself we would just have to schedule lots of playdates. Then early in the summer I took the kids to the park, just the three of us, and I sat on a bench and read a Faulkner novel while my kids played together, and I realized maybe we could do without the playdates. Maybe we had all we needed. They had each other. I had a good book. So the playdates have been sparse and I’ve spent a lot of time reading on park benches.
But the zoo felt different. An all day outing, where I couldn’t just sit and read. Having another adult to talk to seemed like it would make the day more enjoyable for me, so I reached out to three friends and got a “no” and two ignored texts. Fine. Whatever. We would just go alone.
This morning I packed a backpack full of sweatshirts (for the foggy morning) and snacks and sunscreen (for when the fog burned off) and away we went. It was such a fun, amazing, lovely day. I expected it to be fun for the kids, just the kids, but I honestly enjoyed myself so much.
It was just us, and we could go at our own pace and see whatever we wanted to see in whatever order, without taking into consideration the wants and needs of a bunch of other kids. I wasn’t frustrated from constantly having my adult conversation attempts interrupted by my kids. Instead I just talked to them–they had my full attention.
We started with the bears and worked our way all the way around the zoo to the elephants, then we took the new gondolas up to the top of the hill (Eleanor was scared, Win loved it) and ate at the new cafe, which was supposed to be a real restaurant, not just zoo food (it was still just zoo food, only more expensive). Then we rode all of the rides, including the little roller coaster, which scared them both but I was so proud that they were brave enough to give it a try (especially Eleanor, who only went on it because Win had his heart set on it).
Our family is such a solid unit. I know I am beyond lucky that my kids love each other and get along the way they do, and I know it is nothing short of amazing that my husband and I still prefer each other’s company over anyone else’s after all of these years. The four of us are so bonded and happy together, and we are all we need. And these kids of ours are so amazing. There's no one else I would rather spend a day at the zoo with.