The 411

~This is a blog associated with the Serenity House RPG~ Welcome to the Serenity House Gossip Blog, run by yours truly. This is blog where members send in annonymous gossip or confessions to be answered our lovely mascot (AKA, me). Please keep in mind that all gossip must be IC only! No OOC hate will be tolerated!

[shrpggossip]

Have you noticed how there aren't any REALLY happy couples around? They all have more issues than Vogue...

Okay so let me break it down to you nonnie. Happy couples + fluff = no drama

I would be out of a job if everyone was happy!!! Literally blessed that no one is happy, I mean as long as I’m happy, am I right?? 

I swear the only happy people here are Dante and Nathan, Abby and John, and Claire and Jordan. But the question is how long they’ll last.

@dantespersonalhell @nathan-maverick @abbyslxve @doctorparris @clairegardiner @jordan-grates

[shrpggossip]

What would be the top three if a beauty contest took place at Serenity? (Both females and males)

Top Males

Dallas Ambrose (baby, it’s the tats)

Wesley Anderson (literally all he needs to do is walk around shirtless)

Tristan Powell (hot head and hot bod am I right??)

Top Females

Me obviously

Stella Orwell (yup, no question about it)

Demi Rivers (flash them the goods and you could easily rake in the votes)

Hannah Carole (everything is fine and dandy until she freaks out in the middle of it)

@dallasambrose @wesleyyandersonn @tristanfuckinpowell @stellaorwell @demixrivers @hannahs-wonderland

[shrpggossip]

FMK Nate, Aiden, Dante

Oh my favorite game ever! Ummm for sure I would fuck Dante (he’s hot, what?), marry Nate (we could live in the community together and take over the world <3 Isn’t that cuteeee?) and kill Aiden (um after what that boy’s done, he has it coming.) 

@dantespersonalhell @nateorade-w @aidenxevans

How about some other people for FMK? 

My legs ears are always open! <3 

[shrpggossip]

Confession: Pretty sure the heart isn't a bone but Payton's breaks like literally every other day? Girl, it's not the boys that are stupid... it's you. Get over it, grow some skin?

Ugh, I know right? At this point, I don’t even feel bad anymore and I’m sitting on the edge of my seat just waiting for her to break again. With that loose canon for a “boyfriend” (if you could even CALL him that), this little princess- more like pauper- is bound to get hurt. 

I’m also pretty sure she’s crazy...Is it true she had her therapist break her arm with a bookshelf in order to stay here?? Fill me in. 

@princesspaytonlutz @allaboutmalcolm

[shrpggossip]

Top 3 hottest male staff, and top 3 male patients.

Ugh, really? This isn’t gossip but...if you really want to know....

For staff, I think that new guy Sebastian is pretty hot, I mean- talk about lumberjack aesthetic, right? That guard Wesley is pretty hot too (with his shirt off that is, maybe he’s just hot from the neck down). And that doctor? John? He’s got arms for DAYS. Talk about heart-eye-emoji-wrap-those-muscles-around-me-PLEASE. 

For patients, a given is going to be Aiden. Though he’s a complete psychopath, from the gossip I’ve heard he’s like super kinky and I’m like...super into it. That Bryson guy is pretty attractive too, minus all the drugs. Tristan looks a little bit like a weasel... but he’s totally cute too, I guess. 

@sebastianknxws @wesleyyandersonn @doctorparris @aidenxevans

@brysondunse @tristanfuckinpowell

[shrpggossip]

Thoughts on the Keller sisters?

Oh my god- the Keller sisters? Who even are they? Literally like- all they do is bitch and moan and complain and whine about how tragic their lives are. It’s exhausting. Boohoo, whatever.

Ok but, real talk? It seems like Laurie cares more about her pathetic, as-alive-as-a-blank-sheet-of-paper boyfriend then she does for her little sister...not that I blame her since I’d take having sex over babysitting a whiney brat any day. 

All of them should just do us a favor and go back to the weird, devil worshiping cult they came from. 

@lauriekxller @emmakeller @peterwhitmanshrp

[shrpggossip]

Ugh, I’m so bored.

Serenity House has been so...quiet lately. Where is all the gossip? The dirt? The spilled tea? It’s so bright in here- I need some shade. 

Give me some, won’t you?

SUBMIT GOSSIP HERE

[shrpggossip]

Thoughts on the most recent patients?

Ohhh unlike some of the staff here, I’m not into jumping into the patient’s pants... Aside from that, all the new patients are boring. 

Alexander: Is this kid’s head on straight? 

Ramsey: Oh God, I forgot she existed.. Like, she literally doesn’t say anything... 

Aspen: Probably the most interesting out of the bunch. Come on lovely, give some drama to your mama!

Dallas: Again, I’m like seriously not into jumping kids, but Dallas’ tattoos are hot as fuck. And uh PSA, you should walk around without your shirt on... You know... Just cause I want to see your tattoos.

@watsonalexander @ramsey-ashworth @aspensaspirin @dallasambrose

[shrpggossip]

I feel like everybody likes Dante Sweeny. Hooray for Dante Sweeny!!

Honestly it’s probably all that heroin, the kid is too high all the time to give a fuck about anything.

@dantespersonalhell

[shrpggossip]

I ship Claire and Jordan.

Riiiight??? Bitch betta put a ring on it! (Again) 

But even if we ship it, doesn’t mean the true love is there. How can we be sure Jordan isn’t just going to up and leave AGAIN? I mean Claire, darling, he needs to stop beating around the bush.

@clairegardiner​ @jordan-grates​

[shrpggossip]

Fucking Serena would be a bit like fucking a lamp post... No flesh and boring.

Wait... You’re kidding me... The thing in the corner isn’t a lamp?? Ugh no wonder whenever I put a light bulb in it nothing happened. 

@serena-healy

[shrpggossip]

What do people think of the new therapists?

They’re all smoking hot. Not even going to lie. Seriously hit me up. 

Alison may have just shown up but darling if you ever swing down my path give me a call. 

Drew? Ugh more like Drooling! 

Billie my darling, I’m sure we would have a wild time together. 

Sebastian… Wait you’re not a therapist… Fuck it (or me), you’r still on my list. 

@alison-goderich @artkingdrew @billiexjett @sebastianknxws

[shrpggossip]

Who do you think will be released from Serenity next, or has the highest chance of being released/recovering?

Lol ew no one??? Please, all of you are going to be stuck here forever, but I guess that wasn’t the question.

People With the Most Potential 

Stella for sure. She’s way too good for this place. Way too good for all of you losers. 

Peter maybe? Still fifty-fifty on this one. Maybe if he grew a pair? 

Wow I knew the list would be short but this is depressing...

@peterwhitmanshrp @stellaorwell

[shrpggossip]

How long before everybody else finds out that Ledger has been abusing the level of trust between her and Jay?

I have no idea nonnie. I think everyone at Serenity is deaf. They don’t hear the gossip, they don’t listen to me, they don’t hear the moans. Seriously, get some hearing aids... 

@drledger-sh @jay-mcadams

[shrpggossip]

I vote Dante, he's sweet and caring which is exactly what Nathan needs. Bryson on the other hand, well.... He has a little bit of a temper!

Dante: 1

Bryson: 0 

I meeeeaaannnn, have you heard what Nathan’s gone through? Maybe he likes it rough? Don’t worry Bryson, you’re not out of the picture yet! <3

@nathan-maverick @brysondunse @dantespersonalhell

[shrpggossip]

Bets on how long it'll be before Samantha loses her job?

Oh girl I will hop on that train so hard. What’s today? Saturday? I bet she’ll be packing her bags by Monday. 

@samanthabarnessecurity

[shrpggossip]

Does anyone else not feel bad for Payton? Like at all?

Praise the Lord someone understands me! I have been watching this shit show that is Payton Lutz for almost two years. She is so desperate to make sure things go her way. Like first between her and Malcolm, now there’s stuff between her and Jude?  God, she like literally needs to pick a boy and stay with that boy. And then boo-hoo she might have to leave Serenity so C R A C K and she breaks her arm?? Attention much. 

@princesspaytonlutz @allaboutmalcolm @judebelinskirp