...And Gosh, They Paid The Price! / ryuuya + reiko / trial end
Ryuuya Okamura could remember it well, the way it felt in the house when it was just him and his mother. When two tremendous tragedies had rocked the household, one so soon after the otherā¦
He never once imagined that he would have caused their biggest one yet, just a few years down the line.
The dancer eyed the podium where his sibling stoodā if not for the radio silence from his peers, her request for them to vote for her would have worried him more. Not that it wasnāt worrying, but the fact that no one made any move to harm her afterwards wasā¦ assuring. Didnāt do much of anything for his fear of what was to come for him, nor that sharp pang of regret as that edgy fucklord hosting this disaster game announced that they were correct, but win some lose some, he supposed. Reiko Okamura was safe, heād done his part as her (barely) older brotherā¦
ā¦he wouldnāt be able to do that anymore, would he? He was leaving her here, with all theseā¦
ā¦his hands trembled, and with a few moments to pause and think, Ryuuya made his way around the circle over to Reikoās podium, trying to subtly sneak by so as to not startle anyone whoād wanted him dead. Please let him be, he just wanted some time with his sister in peace before his time was up.
Eventually, he stopped at her podium, hands in his pockets. It took him a few moments to speak, and he struggled to look her in the eye.
āā¦heh. Uhā¦ fucked it up real bad this time, didnāt I?ā
ā¦
āā¦ām sorry, Reiko.ā
***
She tried.
That was a lie. The other Okamura couldnāt even say she made an effort. If she really tried, Ryuuya wouldnāt have been voted, she would have saved him, heād be walking out of here alive. There were so, so many things she would have thought of if the culprit was literally anybody else in the room. She could have kept her composure. The very suggestion of her brother killing someone, her vague fears she was sure were unfounded that history would repeat, like Cain and Abel, except the victim here was her perception on the world, on the others in the courtroom.
It really wasnāt the hand of fate guiding her. Unless it enjoyed crushing her time and time again. Unless its mind worked in ways alien, unknown even to her. Reiko was tired of trying to understand, tired of putting her trust in others only to have it shattered. Above all, she was tired of herself, tired of how trying to make things right somehow always resulted in even bigger tragedies.
Then, it was Ryuuya approaching her. She wasnāt even the one to initiate, and as he drew closer, her gaze instinctively averted for a few moments before rising to meet his. One shaking hand reached up to brush hair aside as her one working eye met his.
And in that moment, Reiko realized her mistake as her thoughts slogged to a crawl, frozen in the amber of time.
She couldnāt rely on cruel Fate to do the saving.
She had to do something herself.
And it was too late.
āā¦Bro.ā
The one word that came from her mouth was numb, weary. A nickname she had used so many times before, in love, in jest, in teasing was the way she addressed Ryuuya at the beginning of the end. There was a lifetime of things she wanted to say, a lifetime that for the past 17 years, she regretted in that moment not speaking up more. Personal tragedy was never something she thought sheād experience since relationships were born and blazed and died as quickly as they came. She never thought sheād be leaving the room without her partner in crime.
The few minutes allotted before heād be dragged off were far too few to say what she wanted to. All the promises, the teary farewells. No, Reiko had to use her words wisely.
For once, her mind drew a blank.
āā¦Ryuuyaā¦ Iām the one who should be sorry.ā
She averted her eyes briefly.
āIā¦ never thought itād come to this. That youād have to see your sister likeā¦ like that. I couldnāt have imaginedā¦ that you would haveā¦ but itās still you. You were hurt, werenāt you.ā
Wavering and cracking as the sentence neared its end, Reiko swallowed painfully before continuing.
āBut this isnātā¦ about me. Iā¦ Iām not scared of what lies beyond, but youā¦ it should pass quickly. The pain.ā
That was the advice she decided to give? On dying?
āā¦Sorry. I donāt know how much time heāll give us, and I justā¦ wanted to offer reassurance. Man, Iām shit at that, arenāt I. Listen to me talk now, tcha.ā
She trailed off. Seems like she didnāt have much else to say at the momentā¦ either that, or adding more on was unbearable.
***
Ryuuya shifted on his feet as he listened to Reiko speak. The guilt only weighed on him heavier, not that it wasnāt already even before he reached this point. He shut his eyes and took a breath, trying not to cry again. He didnāt need to, now, he didnāt need to make her feel any worse.
The little bit of death advice managed to get a short laugh from Ryuuya, mostly because it was far from what he expected to hear. He wasnāt too sure how assuring it was in the long haul, but he definitely appreciated the thought. A small, weary smile crossed his face.
āI did somethinā real bad, Reiko. I understand folks gettinā mad at meā¦ I appreciate the advice, though, definitelyā¦ g-gonna be needinā it, hehehā¦ā
Another deep breath, another period of silence. He brought his hands out of his pockets slowly, feeling them shaking, and turns his head to properly face his sibling. In spite of his best wishes, he could feel tears well up almost immediately.
Heād be leaving her behind, and after what happened way back with Hirokoā¦ he didnāt think heād forgive himself for that.
āā¦ya were always the smart one, yāknow that, Sis? Donāt doubt that youāll figure all this out and get outta here. Ya deserve itā¦ā
He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.
āListen, I ainātā¦ any good at all that, likeā¦ reassuring junk, either, so donāt sweat it. Just, likeā¦ā
He sighed, somewhat exasperated. He really wasnāt good at this, was he? Ryuuya looked off to the side again for a few moments, thinking, before turning back to his sister. He rested his hand on the brim of his hat for a few moments, before lightly removing it from his head and reaching up to set it on hers.
Half of him expected some sort of teasing remark, how heās awful small for the big brother or something along those lines, but nowā¦
āItās kinda, likeā¦ cliche, and I dunnoā¦ if I believe in ghosts and all thatā¦ but you do, I think? Or something like that? So, likeā¦ Iāll always be here with ya, even if notā¦ here here. Iāll always be rootinā ya on, so donāt forget thatā¦! You canā¦ you can get through this. I know ya can.ā
He offered a smile, but trying for anything past that small, sad one heād started with was too muchā heād found himself in tears again before he could stop himself.
(he could put on all the bravado he wanted, acted as brave as he wanted, but in the endā)
Ryuuya reached forward and pulled Reiko in for a hug. He wasnāt sure if it was to hide the tears or whatā with the way he shook, it probably wasnāt.
āā¦āll always love ya, a-alright Reiko? You can do itā¦ā
(he didnāt want to die. he really really didnāt want to die)
***
Reiko didnāt know what was worse. The anger the others displayed, the wishes from them that her brother was better off dead, the inevitable vengeance so long as Ryuuya was in close proximity to the others and their loved ones. But Ryuuya was hers, as much as she yelled at him, as bitter as her words came. The anthropologist knew that it was Mortonās Fork - the same bad outcome would result no matter what. And if she sacrificed herself?
It would be in vain.
And she hated that beyond all description.
Shame continued to weight heavy on her, pressing down on her back and into the very core of her being. What would likely be- no, were her last few moments (for now) with her brother, she wasted by giving him advice on how to die. But she wasnāt him. She couldnāt have possibly articulated it into words, exceptā¦ well, it wasnāt so bad when it was all over.
Then why was she still sad?
āā¦We all did. Ryuuyaā¦ youā¦ none of them, none of you deserve this. Iā¦ I realize that. I thought it would never happen to you, butā¦ but I couldnāt do enough. Iām sorry, Iāmā¦ Iām so, so sorry.ā
Her voice came as a breathy whisper to the end of her apology, as if she was on the losing side of the battle against tears spilling freely and hampering her ability to talk. Reiko couldnāt have that, not here, not now. Drawing her shawl tighter around her bony shoulders, the fleeting thought that she had come dressed for the occasion passed through her mind - like an unintentional mourner of some sort attending a wake.
Every word Ryuuya said caused the shooting pain in her chest to grow stronger, until a hand reached up to clutch at the fabric of her dress.
āā¦How can youā¦ be so articulate at a time like this. How can you find the words toā¦ gh. How can you tell me not to worry! Youāre going to die, youāre going toā¦ā
A violent shudder rocked Reikoās body, and hot tears finally spilled out her left eye as Ryuuya placed his hat on top of her head. Automatically, she reached up to take it off and hold it to her chest, an object that should have protected him, that could have protected him if she would have been smarter, quicker-
āā¦Thereās ghosts. But that scares me more, you know, what if theyā¦ what if they hurt you. Iādā¦ Iād say to look after yourself, butā¦ fā¦ fool. I wonāt be there all the time to watch over you either, soā¦ youāllā¦ā
The thoughts flashing through her mind - of going to the tree, of interacting however indirectly with her brother as a ghost caused a round of violent sobs to wrack her body and render her speechless as she held her forearm up to her face.
āā¦donāt discount yourself, Ryuuya. Iāmā¦ I always looked up to you. Motivated me toā¦ get my own talent. Even felt a bit envious when we were younger, you rising up the ranks and allā¦ and me doing what? Being a nerd in my room. Tcha. I remember when we used to converse in that room, no matter what it was about. Iā¦ I thought I had everything. I thought I wouldnāt have any regrets, butā¦ thatās obviously not the case.ā
She let out a weak laugh.
āI never told you how proud I was of you, for one. How proud I wasā¦ and am to call you my brother. I neverā¦ā
Reiko swallowed.
āTold you that I love you enough. Soā¦ I love you, big lilā bro Ryuuya. Hehā¦ heheheā¦. ahhā¦ā
There she went, dissolving into tears again. When the second wave of crying passed, she looked back up at him.
āā¦I wanted to get out of here with you. Iā¦ I donāt know what Iāll do without you. Pleaseā¦ please donāt leave me, Iā¦ā
And then she was being embraced, and she returned it with every bit of strength in her body. She thought she was strong, if not physically, but mentally, butā¦
Butā¦
āI donāt know what Iāll do without you, Ryuuya. Iā¦ I love you too, and I always have. I donāt wantā¦ our last moments like this to be bitter. I donāt wantā¦ā
She managed to choke out one last thing.
āI donāt want you to go.ā
And in that moment, perhaps she could have believed that if she thought long enough, that if she held onto him long enough, that they would wake up together in their house, in Hopeās Peak, instead of this twisted nightmarish realm that oh-so-delicately unfolded, petal by petal, and showed its true brutality.
She couldnāt do anything about it.
Ryuuya Okamura would die, and she couldnāt do anything about it.
(Couldnāt, or shouldnāt?)
(She didnāt want him to go. She didnāt want him to go.)
***
Ryuuya could feel himself freeze up at the last handful of words Reiko had said, and before he knew it heād all but broken into sobs himself. He clung to her just as hard, desperately trying to calm down. He was supposed to have it all together, but nowā¦?
He could barely speak for a while, only having a brief moment to hiss out a low, whispery,
āI donāt wantā¦ t-to go eitherā¦ā
ā¦before breaking into sobs again.
It took a while to calm himself downā it was hardly even calm, really, just exhaustion. You could only really cry for so longā¦ even afterwards, he was reluctant to let go. He was afraid to let go.
(he really didnāt want to go)
āā¦mmā¦ wellā¦ guess if ghost stuffā¦ is around hereā¦ maybe this isnātā¦ so much as goodbye, as it isā¦ see ya later? Somethinā like thatā¦? Hehā¦ā
A part of him doubted itād be that simple, but he could hope. However little he may have had left, he could hope.
Reiko nodded through tears, though her grip only grew tighter. At least she was too weak to enable the possibility of pre-emptive ghosthood.
āā¦Right. See you later, Ryuuya. Until we meet again, whenever that is.ā
ā¦But that didnāt make this parting any less painful.Ā