ThinkerShutter

Registered Nurse. Aspiring Doctor. Entrepreneur. Film Photographer. Music Lover. Follower of Christ. Loves God above all.

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Happy birthday!

Happy birthday Les! May you be filled with so much joy today and always. Know that I value you.

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I really never told anyone about this. December 31, 2017 was I thought would be a happy year-end, but it was not. It was the moat painful last day of the year for me. I faced 2018 crying inside the bathroom, wishing and praying that I could turn back time, that everything was just a bad dream. But I was in reality that time. I faced January 1, 2018 confronting my fear of losing the one I love most. It was the saddest new year I have ever had. Sad New Year to me, welcome 2018.

Nine months passed and I'm still here, wishing that he will come to his senses, drop his pride and ego, apologize and come back to me. But I guess that will remain a wish till I forget about him. Dreams do come true but not all wishes. Nine months and I'm still hurting, still loving, still hoping. How hard is it to get love? How hard is it to be loved?

Sometimes I daydream that one day we'll see each other again, that one day we'll just pretend nothing happened, that we'll be happy and will be together. I often make stories in my head of what scene we will be in. I make up conversations will talk about and make scripts that we'll say. Sometimes I thought, I can be a script writer/film director/producer.

But I need to let go. I have to let go. I need to move on and make a life without him. I need to live.

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Walong araw nalang, kaarawan mo na. Naalala ko, nung kaarawan ko, inaasahan ko magbabago ang isip mo, hiniling ko na kakausapin mo uli ako. Pero hanggang ganon nalang pala talaga. Ngayon, siyam na buwan na ang nakalipas, tila kinalimutan mo na nga ako ng tuluyan. Nandito pa rin ako umaasa, na kahit isang segundo masilayan ka. Hanggang sa muli, aking minamahal.

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Yesterday we were together. Today we are strangers. 💔

I can still clearly remember what happened on this day a year ago.

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Five Years 6918

I admire how clever you take your photographs and how adventurous you shoot. It speaks a lot of passion. I admire how you face your fears just to do what you love doing.

I pray that in the nearest future, you find the One that will fit the God-shaped hole in your heart and in your life. Nothing can ever compare to the satisfaction and joy that He can bring once you get to know Him deeper. I pray that you find the real Joy only Him can give. I hope you experience the love that never hurts only Him can make you feel.

You taught me through your photographs how to face my fears and how to love simple things. You taught me how to be keen and how to be more aware of my surroundings. You taught me how to appreciate beauty in simple and seemingly ugly scenes. You taught me how you live life and how to be carefree.

PS. I sent a postcard to you from Hong Kong last January. I hope you received it and brighten up your day. If it didn't, maybe the postman did not do his job well.

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Mahal na mahal pa rin kita.

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miss na miss na kita

miss na miss na kita

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Happiest birthday! I know we haven't talked for some time and I just wanna let you know I did not forget your special day. May you have all the wonderful blessings and may you find the real joy in life. Stay happy and healthy! Much love here.

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I'm so in pain right now. And I can't understand why.

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I dreamt of you last night, in a café full of photographs. The place was really wonderful. It got lots of colors and motions. There's a big photo book and it included your works. It was so big I couldn't hold it with just one hand. I was in the café today, but you were here yesterday. In real life we can't be together, so sad in dreams it happens too.

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In case you forgot

Someone texted you a sweet good night Someone misses you so bad Someone sent her hugs to you Someone traveled 270 kilometers just to be with you Someone hasn’t slept coz of excitement she can finally hug you That someone loves you she would trade anything for your time

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I was at the #republicoflove cafe this afternoon with my college friend. Then I saw the owner, our friend, there and had a little chitchat. I was wondering, how will the conversation go if you were there with me. Just my random thoughts. Mishu!

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Listen to her. This is my song for him.

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I wanted to write something for you tonight, to remind you of my love, that it never changes. I sent you a sweet thought last night, i knew you were already sleeping by that time. Still I pushed through on sending the message. But your reply was hurting. Do you really think that it wasnt for you? Do you feel that my love has already changed? I was puzzled when I read your reply first thing in the morning. It was the first thing that I read after waking up to a bad dream. Is this the reason why I had a terrible headache all day? How I wish I woke up on the other side of the bed, maybe it would have been a different day. I tried to explain myself to you, but as I always get, I am ignored. Don't you even think about me? Don't you even have the feeling of missing someone special to you? Or am I even special? These thoughts kept running on my head all day no matter how hard I tried not to think of them. How do I get in? When are you going to truly open up your heart for me? You've already been silent for months now and that sucks. Yes, it really does. I just hope that one day, God will answer my prayers and I will truly be happy about it.

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It's been months again since we've had a long conversation. And it's the time of the year when I miss you most. I was wondering, have you ever thought of me? Coz there's never a day you're not in my head.

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Because I just do. The details are in my heart. ❤

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