you feel like you are doing so good. getting a job. taking your meds. going outside. talking and socializing more. feeling as close as you can call happiness.
then it hits you. you wake up sore. your body feels heavy. you just want to lay down. stop showing up to work. not having the energy to leave your house let alone your bed. avoiding interactions with people. and remembering that this is what the rest of your life is going to be.
So something I really struggled with when I started as a full time student again was getting back into studying. It was really hard and I was really really hard on myself. I thought about giving up a-lot.
One thing I was confused about was figuring out how to study. I saw all these videos on youtube showing study methods and no matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t working for me. This seems super silly but in my case, I realized that I didn’t even have the basics down to apply those methods.
I didn’t understand the lectures even though I’d skimmed over my text book before class. I even tried reading through the chapters and nothing made sense to me.
It had been so long since I took the intro classes, so trying to take my major classes were impossible.
I’ve started making progress by applying these methods that probably a lot of students don’t even realize they’re doing or already have this down.
1) Read the title of the chapter. What does this title tell you about? what can you gather from it? what do you think you’re going to learn about.
2) Go to the summary and go through the vocabulary? what do you not know? focus on ONLY the vocabulary you don’t know.
*Now that you have the vocabulary for that chapter down you can understand what the chapter is trying to teach you.
4) start identifying one concept to start with. Find practice problems to work on after you skim that section.
5) you’ll find that you get stuck. If not move on to the next concept. If you do get stuck this is where you go back and read until you understand.
6) repeat method 4.
I hope anyone who’s had this struggle realizes that what might be natural to others might not be for you. That doesn’t mean you’re not smart because everyone is different and I like to believe everyone has the ability to learn and improve.
I just want to take a long bath in a claw foot tub in a posh bathroom with floor to ceiling windows on a chilly day while mafia!bucky or mafia!steve nibbles on my ear and plays with the water droplets running down my body …
Pairing: Mafia!Stucky x Reader
Warnings: Smut, fingering, 18+ only, praise kink.
A/N: hopefully this makes up for the lost drabbles from earlier.
***
You'll never get used to being loved by them. Your men are fiercely protective of you and addicted to making you happy. There are constant surprises and gifts, it's not unusual for you to wake up with a new necklace or tickets to a sold-out show.
One of the best gifts was the home they built for you, all because you casually mentioned that you wanted to go to the alps one day. You didn't even remember the conversation, but they did.
Steve would later joke that he and Bucky simply hated hotels so they had no choice but to build you a house. But really it was because they live to see that look of wonder on your face and the way you almost cried as they showed off your new home was worth every penny spent.
Steve designed it himself with Bucky's input. Each room reflected their personalities, a perfect combination of Steve's boisterous style and Bucky's subtle influences.
Every little thing was created with you in mind.
From the open kitchen to the offices to your personal library to the master bedroom that spanned almost the entire third floor of the villa.
You're lounging on the massive California king bed, warm, downy-scented sheets surrounding you. Their voices float out from the adjoining bathroom where they're preparing your bath.
Turning your head, you watch them shuffle back and forth, fluffy white and dusty rose-colored towels and washcloths in hand, stopping to exchange brief kisses.
Bucky's pouring some imported oil in the water, steam rising from the surface while Steve checks the temp.
You slide out of the bed, placing your feet on the chilly hardwood floors. You manage to take one step when you hear Bucky say your name.
"Ná tú leomh," Steve hisses, tossing your bathrobe on the sink before striding to you.
A grin tugs at your lips, you try to tamp it down when he glares at you. His piercing blue eyes flaring when you take another step forward.
"It's only a few steps," you respond.
Steve raises a brow, ignoring your soft laugh as he lifts you into his arms with ease. "You know I don't give a fuck if it's one step, what did we tell you?" He grumbles, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
He saunters back to a waiting Bucky and suddenly you have two sets of intense, knowing blue eyes on you.
"Not allowed to do anything but let you take care of me." You smile sheepishly, rubbing your face on his smooth, bare chest.
You're not used to their level of aftercare.
They're so relentless when fucking you, coaxing orgasm after orgasm from your body until you're delirious, exhausted, and bliss courses through your veins, your own personal form of ecstasy.
But after, oh god, after they're so damn gentle. Steve won't let you lift a finger for hours and Bucky will massage your pliant body, his thick fingers working your sore muscles while Steve feeds you whatever you're craving that day.
You glance around the bathroom, it's bigger than your first apartment. This is probably your favorite room, it's warm and bright and the view of the mountainside and town below is stunning. The floor-to-ceiling windows have a light coating of frost clinging to the glass, music drifts down from the speakers hidden in the corner.
Delicate lights dangle from the ceiling, three sinks line the opposite wall, yours is in the middle, covered with your products. A tall glass shower is a few feet from the tub, all three of you can easily fit it in although it usually ends with you pressed between their bodies.
But it's the luxurious tub that is the centerpiece. The massive clawfoot bathtub sits in front of the windows, you can rest your head back on the edge of it and stretch your entire body across the length of it and your feet never reach the end.
Lost in your musings, you don't know Steve lowering you into the lavender scented water until its heat coats your skin. You let out a breathy moan, fuck it's perfect and just what you needed today. They share smug glances as you go limp.
Bucky places a small pillow behind your head, his lips brushing over your forehead. "How are you feeling princesta? Is it good?"
You nod, reaching up to slide your hand across his bearded cheek. He sinks into your touch, placing a kiss on your palm. The urge to giggle rises in your chest.
An hour ago, you nodded when he asked you the same thing, only you were facedown, his large hands lifting your hips as he ruthlessly pounded into your pussy. He had slapped your ass in response before yanking your head, his warm minty breath washing over your ear. "Use. Your. Words."
Oh god, you shiver remembering how dark and gravelly his voice got as he took you apart.
Now, he places more soft chapped kisses along your face. Blue eyes shimmering with love.
"You did so good Mo Chridhe." Steve lifts your calf out of the water, his lips sliding up your wet skin. "Didn't she Buck?" His accented tone deepening.
"She's always perfect, taking us well." Bucky's hands smooth down your shoulders and cup your breasts hidden below the water. "I'm sorry proud of you."
Warmth unfurls in your chest, their praise soaking into your skin.
His rough fingertips roll your pebbled nipples sending sparks to your core. You bite back a whimper, your eyes on Steve's large ring-adorned hand trailing up your leg, his lips languidly following. "Is ceol mo chroí thú"
That endearment always does things to your heart especially when Bucky murmurs his agreement, his teeth grazing over your shoulder. "Why don't you show her how much we appreciate her."
Steve's dark blue eyes lock with yours, two long fingers glide through your petal-soft folds, the water sloshing over the sides of the tub. You jerk, your belly tensing in at the feel of his calloused fingers rubbing over your pulsating clit. "Oh god-" you choke out.
Bucky leans your head back, his sharp blue eyes raking over your face. "How does she feel Stevie?"
Your thin keen echos through the room, sensations wracking through your body. You don't know if you're going to survive another orgasm but when he pushes two fingers inside you, curling his fingers over your velvety warm walls, you don't care.
"So fucking tight," Steve replies, his eyes torn between watching pleasure contort your pretty face and your pussy sucking him back in. "She's gripping my fingers, damn it, I can barely move them. You gotta feel her."
"So greedy," you mumble, your head lolling to the side.
Their chuckles float above you. "Only for you princesta. Only for you." Bucky slides his hand down your soft belly, his finger slipping in between Steve's and you're so full. So very full.
Your hands fly up, latching on to Bucky's forearms, sobs escaping your lips, white hot pressure building inside you with each deliberate twist of their wrists.
It's too much, feels too fucking good yet you can't stop your hips from rolling, meeting their strokes. "Please please please-" you chant, more and more water spilling on the floor.
"Who's greedy now?" Bucky teases, his voice deepening into the dark, gravelly timbre, the one that lets you know he's not going to stop until you're seeing stars.
"Bucky-Steve I need-oh" They hit your soft spongy patch, their fingers working together so well, a soon as one finger leaves it, another is striking it. Their wide rough thumbs roll your clit between them.
"Is that? That what our girl needs."
"Yeah, that's it. Go harder. Wanna see her cum."
"She's close. Go on, give it to us."
"Good girl, there you go, such a good fucking girl isn't she?"
You don't know who's speaking over the dull roar in your ears.
Your vision blurs from the intense pleasure, it keeps building and building, winding around your body like a vice. Then it snaps and you nearly come out of the water, chanting their names, begging them "don't stop, I'm so close, so close please I-."
Your orgasm sweeps through in a flurry of sultry sensations that have you clamping down on their fingers, your back arching, nails digging into Bucky's arm. Both men groan, their eyes never faltering from your body, almost as breathless as you are.
Bucky pushes you back down, his lips caressing your forehead. Steve gently places your leg back in the tub, reluctantly taking his fingers out of your pussy. You open your eyes at the sound of the faucet turning on, hot water replacing what was spilled on the floor.
"Relax, we got you."
And you do, knowing they're going to take good care of you. They always have and they always will.
You drift off to soothing feel of their powerful, strong hands caressing and cleaning you and their praise ringing in your ears.
i still have an account overdrawn over $500 because of bills and my sister is in the hospital in another state but i would really like to be there for her asap. this means missing work in the coming week to make the drive and losing money from missing those days/making the trip. any help, signal boosting and reblogs included, means more than you know. ty for your kindness ❤️
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