de·vi·ant

IF I FAIL, I'LL FALL APART [ dong sicheng. 21. dancer. ]

[sichengrk]

hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

ten’s started feeling a little nervous when sicheng watches him. ever since the kiss he’s felt like there’s something thick and invisible between them, as though there’s a constantly vibrating string attached to them that’ll make a loud, alarming noise if they get too far away, or too close. even now, as he holds the rifle and stares at the little cans he can feel something vibrating between them, the feeling of sicheng’s eyes on him raising goosebumps all down his arms. often he wonders if sicheng can feel it too, or whether he’s alone in this strange, tense situation he’s found himself in with his roommate. 

hearing sicheng speak with such utter certainty at ten’s abilities sends shivers down his spine. he remembers all the times when he was a trainee and idol that he’d wish someone would have faith in him, and tell him how much they believed in him. instead, the doubts and worries that people thought he was a weak link swam in his mind unchallenged. his breath shakes when sicheng calls him perfect, a flush arising on the apples of his cheeks. he can tell he’s moving closer, as though some sort of frequency between them is buzzing and vibrating louder and faster. it’s a prickly feeling down his back, and a warmth under his skin. 

“beginner’s luck, i’m sure.” ten says softly, glancing at sicheng then right back at the cans, moving the rifle to aim at another. he shoots, and for a second he thinks he’s missed, but the can teeters and falls, and he can’t help but smile. “or maybe i am just good.” he laughs, the sound of the can being hit, and falling from it’s perch drawing him out of his own head. 

whenever sicheng is in ten’s presence, there’s like some sort of invisible magnet that pulls him in closer. it has effects on him ranging from physical to emotional. not only does he feel fonder, but he also seems to gravitate towards him, closing more and more space with every second. he’s curious and wants to see what ten sees, which is how he ends up right by his side, occasionally leaning down to look over ten’s shoulder, his face level with the older’s. he tries not to be too invasive or suffocating, but it’s also as if he can’t help it. 

"bullshit.” sicheng grins, very softly laughing as he turns to briefly look at ten instead of what he’s doing. he thinks maybe he’s distracted him and somehow managed to throw him off his game when it seems like he’s missed at first, but then it eventually falls anyway and sicheng smiles even wider, laughing along with ten. “yeah, just like i said. beginner’s luck...” he says it in a playful, mocking way, shaking his head. “beginner’s luck my ass. you are good.” he finally takes a step back, not wanting to cause any discomfort or make it so that ten can’t properly concentrate. “i just hope i can do as well as you are, because i absolutely refuse to leave until i have something for you since you’re more than likely going to win this.”

[ambrosiqs]

COPY&PASTE: DRAW — WINWIN

[sichengrk]

hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

ten knows this is something couples do - win each other prises on games like this - but he can’t help but want to do it. part of it’s because couples do it, he thinks. it’s the simplest thing he can do that makes things feel a way they aren’t. he can pretend, if only for a second, that they’re a couple, and indulge in something he really shouldn’t be indulging in. he wants sicheng to look at a stuffed animal ten won him and think of ten. though, in all fairness, ten wishes sicheng would think about him all the time. 

“i’ll go first, then.” he says, paying to play the game. taking up the air rifle he turns his body to the side and lifts the rifle up high so he can look through the little aiming thingy on the top. despite having done this before, he’s never learnt the proper terminology for the parts of the rifle - so aiming thingy it is. “i haven’t done this in years, so don’t expect too much.” he warns sicheng, before shooting at the first little can and knocking it off the shelf its sat on. 

“alright, let’s see what you’ve got.” his sentence is accompanied by a fond smile, though it’s also challenging in a way. he crosses his arms over his chest and takes a step back to entirely examine ten and his efforts. it’s all so endearing to him, and he can’t do anything to resist the way his heart feels like it’s beating faster in his chest. though, at this point, he doesn’t think he’d want to even if he could. his feelings come as a bit of a rush, and it’s one that he seems to enjoy. even though he has his moments where he feels guilt and regret, it’s still not something he wants to try getting over.

“from you?” he pauses, then teasingly adds, “i expect everything. come on, there’s nothing you can’t do.” as if it’s his goal to prove sicheng right, ten hits the first can and knocks it off its shelf, causing his grin to grow as he lets out a soft, happy laugh. “see? you’re literally perfect. i don’t think you could fail at anything even if you tried.” he takes a step closer, watching ten as he concentrates and trying to ignore the way he longs to wrap his arms around him from behind and press kisses into the crook of his neck. “you’ve got this, keep going.”

[sichengrk]

— god’s menu ;

rkjosie

josie bit her tongue as sicheng teased her, and she was almost tempted to say something just as friendly to him. it was difficult for her not to smile as she tried to appear annoyed, rolling her eyes before looking off into the distance. “you know, there are about a million other people that i could go have a picnic with instead,” she replied, a devious smile spreading across her lips. “maybe i should go ask some of them? they look like they could use me to liven things up a bit.” she was joking, obviously, but there was a part of her that liked to believe that she was right.

“oh?” she questioned, surprised to hear that he had gone through a lot of trouble. had he really put this much effort into this just for her? for a moment, josie allowed her guard to fall, and she prepared herself to look enthusiastic no matter what was in the basket. he had worked hard on this, and she wasn’t going to make fun of him for it. when she finally opened the basket, however, josie immediately closed it again as laughter bubbled from within her. “oh my god, you’re such an asshole!” she exclaimed with affection, lightly punching sicheng’s shoulder. “i can’t believe i believed you actually put something together. but you did buy all of this, so… props, i guess? maybe i should be thankful that you didn’t cook.”

sicheng softly laughs at josie’s response, nodding in agreement at her comment. he knew she was right, she didn’t have to be here with him right now... he deserved that. “you’re right, i’m sorry. but i really didn’t mean any offense. it’s not because you aren’t good enough or something ridiculous like that, it’s just that... i really enjoyed my company. it’s him, not you.” his slight smile remained from when he’d been laughing, and he didn’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. he liked spending time with josie. it was easy.

“mhm... you wouldn’t even believe it if i told you.” although he is aware that he is giving her the wrong idea, he still isn’t entirely lying. without a job, it always takes him some sort of effort to scrape up the money to buy something like take out, despite the fact that all it would need to consist of is a sweet smile and a question for his roommate. he didn’t always like having to do that, though. it made him feel helpless. her response is a lot better than he thought it would’ve been, and he quickly finds himself laughing along with her. even though it didn’t actually hurt, he still grabs his arm and rubs the spot where she punched him, pretending to look offended. “you should be! trust me, this is a thousand times better than anything i could’ve done. it’s from my favorite restaurant, you’re going to love it.”

[sichengrk]

— god’s menu ;

rkjosie

“what surprises me,” she began, glancing down at the closed picnic basket that sicheng had put together. “is that we didn’t see each other at all yesterday. i was literally by myself the entire time,” she admitted with soft laughter, bringing her gaze back up to the man in front of her. she hadn’t minded spending her time alone, as she hadn’t expected anything different. maybe she could have invited someone to accompany her, but, for whatever reason, she just hadn’t been in the mood. but, when she heard that sicheng had also attended, it had given her an idea: why not have them both go together on day two?

josie spent some time eyeing the picnic basket some more, dying to know what was inside. she didn’t actually expect that sicheng would prepare some fancy meal, given that they didn’t exactly have that kind of relationship, but he seemed to have come through with bringing something. “so, what’s in the box?” she asked, inching the basket towards her ever so slightly. she was tempted to open it, but she figured that sicheng had gone through all the trouble of bringing it, so he might as well get the honor of revealing it to her. “it smells good, at least.”

“well, there’s plenty to do around here and there were lots of people. i guess it makes a little sense that we didn’t spot each other, but... even if i had, i can’t promise that i would have walked away from my company to spend time with you... no offense.” sicheng teasingly grins as josie, reaching out and pulling the picnic basket closer. he could tell that she was eyeing it, which was confirmed as soon as she questioned him about it. his smile grew and he playfully opened the lid just enough for himself to peek inside, then quickly shut it again.

“it’s my very own picnic feast. i went through a lot of trouble to have this for you.” he looked and sounded serious when he said it, soon pushing it in her direction so that she could be the one to open it up. “go ahead. see for yourself. you won’t be disappointed.” he didn’t know whether or not that was true. sicheng wasn’t exactly a chef personally, so all he managed to do was stop at his favorite restaurant, pick up lots of take out, then shove it all into a picnic basket for the aesthetic... or whatever.

[sichengrk]

hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

as time passes, and ten exists in the same space as sicheng day in, and day out, things feel increasingly more tense. it’s not so much a bad kind of tense, but the tension between them is hard to ignore. ten wonders if it’s all in his head, surrounding his feelings, and his confusion regarding his feelings for sicheng. maybe sicheng doesn’t feel the same tension that ten feels, maybe he’s blissfully unaware of ten’s internal suffering. 

even so, he manages to still enjoy his time with sicheng, wandering through the park in the sunshine, smiling as he fights the temptation to grab sichengs hand. “mmm… let’s play a game first. see if we can win each other stuffed animals? what animal would you pick?” he asks, sidling up to a air rifle shooting game and looking up at the array of cute stuffed animals. he pictures sicheng as a chick sometimes - little and fluffy and sweet. but, other times, there’s something far more ferocious about him, something ten would even say is sexy. the animals hanging up though are all far too cute to be big dangerous animals, even if there is a very adorable tiger plushie. “i’d pick the cat, obviously.” 

something about the way ten suggests that they see if they can win each other stuffed animals makes sicheng’s heart skip a beat. he always ends up reading too much into things and feeling all weird inside, even with the simplest of things. he thinks to himself that it’s kind of pathetic that he’s like this, but it’s impossible to linger on it when all he can seem to focus on is the smile on ten’s face and how incredibly beautiful he looks in the sunshine... this is hopeless.

“alright, that sounds like a plan.” he turns to look at all of the different animals that he could choose from, trying to decide which one was calling out to him the most. eventually, he ends up saying, “i’m not sure. if you can manage to win one for me, i’d want you to choose. i think that’d make it more special.” he pauses and quietly laughs, then adds, “but the tiger looks cool.” as soon as ten shares which one he’d pick (which is entirely expected), sicheng internally vows to get it for him one way or another. “i guess we better start playing then, because i’m not leaving here until you have what you want.”

[popcornanddopamine]

Visit Original Link

[sichengrk]

hold me tight (or don’t).

♟ starter for @tenrk​ !

they grow closer with each day that passes, or so that’s how it feels to sicheng. although the kiss did make things slightly more complicated for a while, and some of sicheng’s nights are still occupied by constantly thinking about it and replaying the moment in his head, he feels like they’ve mostly moved on from that (whether or not he thinks that’s a good thing, he isn’t sure). he wants to spend every waking moment in ten’s presence and whenever something fun or exciting rolls around, he always wants to share it with his roommate. he’s content, light, and even happy as they walk side-by-side, the back of his hand occasionally brushing against ten’s while he tries not to focus on how much he wants to take and hold it.

“are you hungry?” he looks over at the older boy, a soft smile on his lips. “if you’re not yet, we could try to play a game and see if we can win something...” there are other things that call out to him, too, such as the tarot reading tent, but he wonders if he’d obsess over whatever he hears if he does something like that. he isn’t entirely sure what all of it is about, but that doesn’t stop him from fearing the outcome.

[sichengrk]

ice ice baby

rkjinwoo

see for a lot of jinwoo’s actions there’s no good reason behind, and sometimes no reason. today the young boy for some reason was running while carrying a bucket of ice? the reason? jinwoo wasn’t sure, jinwoo’s dad had just asked him to go and get the bucket from a friend and then hurry home, so the young boy as he is listened to his father of course and did that. problem here was that jinwoo was a bit too curious about the ice and focused on the reason behind it, so he wasn’t really focusing that much on where he was running. and before he knew it he was with wide eyes looking at another man who was on the ground with ice over him… what had happened? see, jinwoo had been too caught up in his own thoughts so he had ran into another man and now they were both at the ground, the stranger? with ice over them.

and normally jinwoo does not laugh, not at all yet at the situation he giggled shortly, then realizing what had happened he immediately put away the giggle. “oh gosh” he managed to get out, reaching out and taking the bucket seeing there still was a bit ice left, though majority of it was on the other guy. he didn’t know how to feel, would his dad be mad now? how was he supposed to go home now… and suddenly he realized the other still were here. “wait i completely forgot about you! i’m so sorry… are you okay??”

all that sicheng wanted was to be in his bed. he hadn’t necessarily done anything particularly exhausting, but he was still worn out and ready to be home. he kept thinking about arriving at the apartment and seeking out his roommate, potentially snuggling up with him and simply relaxing. what he should have known is that nothing ever tends to go the way that he hopes they will. there’s always some curve ball or unknown variable ready to take him by surprise. in this particular instance, the scenario that was stopping him was shocking for more than just a sole reason. he wasn’t expecting some kid to be running with a bucket of ice to begin with, and he definitely didn’t foresee the way that he’d slam into him, causing him to lose his balance and end up sitting on his butt with freezing ice cubes making his skin prickle, slowly wetting his clothes.

he gasps and immediately tries swatting them away, not having the time to look over at the one that caused this. despite not seeing him, he hears his laughter. it’s only then that he shoots a somewhat annoyed look in the boy’s direction, slightly shaking his head. then, entirely not helping his case at all, he soon admits that he forgot about him... that fast. he stands up on his own and lets out a quiet sigh, shrugging a bit. “yeah, i’m okay. it’s fine.” if he was truly sorry, sicheng wasn’t going to give him a hard time. it was an accident, after all. “why were you running with all of that ice, anyway?”

[sichengrk]

dance the night away.

rkpjs

arcades were the perfect place to escape. the bright neon lights always seemed to welcome pj, and the smiles glued to the faces of everyone in the room helped him feel at home. this particular arcade had recently become one of his regular hangout spots, and he was almost ready to start inviting his friends to accompany him. once i’m sure i can beat them at the games, he thought, soft laughter slipping past his lips. not that he personally felt he needed the extra practice; if there’s one thing pj felt he was somewhat good at, it was games.

he had just stood up from a racing game when he noticed him: dong sicheng, a friend of pj’s older sister. pj gave the older a confused look, furrowing his brow as he pulled a lollipop out of his pocket. “sorry to break it to you, but you being bad at it doesn’t make it bogus,” he teased, unwrapping the candy before popping it into his mouth. “it just makes you bad.” pj snickered, amused by the candy slurring his speech. “wouldn’t it be kind of a dick move for me to say i’m good at it? i think it’d be a lot less conceited of me if i just showed you.”

honestly, sicheng was glad that he recognized someone here. sure, he would’ve been able to occupy himself one way or another, but he always seems to thrive more when he’s in the company of someone else, despite the fact that he doesn’t have an abundance of friends. he can’t help but softly laugh at the younger boy, gently shaking his head. “i’m just saying that it doesn’t define someone’s dancing ability. it’s just another game. i’m coordinated, but... i don’t know. i was just trying to make conversation, not challenge you to a duel.”

it’s amusing watching as jisung puts the lollipop in his mouth and speaks with it taking up so much space. he likes the kid, he’s blunt and he doesn’t seem to really be afraid or intimidated by much. he was sort of a smart-ass, which sicheng could appreciate and relate to. “is that right?” he chuckles, shifting on his feet and stepping closer to the game. “yeah, i guess it would be. go on, then. show me what a master you are. maybe your high score will be more impressive than my several million views on youtube.”

[sichengrk]

.poked full of holes

tenrk

ten never shares just how much money he has, but most of his friends know he’s got a considerable amount. it isn’t something he shares until he’s already close to people, and when he does he’s already close enough to want to share his money with those people. sicheng is someone ten feels like he has no misgivings about spending money on sicheng, buying him things and providing for him. he just want sicheng to be happy and well fed. 

“good, because i don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.” he says, only realising how sappy that sounds after the words have left his mouth. he smiles, his cheeks dusted a light pink. “and i want to help you achieve things that you’re only stopped from achieving right now because of money. if the only thing stopping you doing something is money, then i want to be able to open that door for you. look at it like i’m investing in your future, which is one i think is bound to be bright and full of success.”

ten hopes sicheng means it when he says he’ll follow him anywhere. he likes to imagine going travelling with sicheng, maybe take him to a few of the places he went to when he was away last year soul-searching. he doesn’t say anything about it though, he just smiles, tightening his hold on sicheng’s arm. “maybe.” ten laughs, knowing his dad very much won’t, but not caring enough to think much about it. “so… guess we should get you fitted for a suit before we go then, shouldn’t we?” he says with a bright smile, imagining sicheng in a perfectly fitted suit and trying no to drool at the mental image. he turns into their apartment building as they reach the main doors and tugs sicheng along to the elevator.

the words replay in sicheng’s mind on a loop: i don’t want to imagine my life without you in it... although he doesn’t want to give away the way it makes him feel, he can’t stop himself from wildly blushing. he can hardly believe how valuable that must mean he truly is to ten. he knew that they had grown close in his time living with him, but perhaps sometimes he underestimates precisely how important he is. he opens his mouth to respond, but no words initially come out. quickly, he clears his throat and softly smiles at the older. “i, uh.. i don’t want to imagine my life without you in it, either.” and it’s true. it’s something he hates thinking about.

everything that ten says touches sicheng to his core. it makes him feel light and fluttery, yet also warm and gooey all at once. ten probably doesn’t even realize it, but he’s got sicheng wrapped around his finger. he looks at him with a sparkle in his eye that reflects the way he cares about him, and also how much he wishes he could kiss him again right then and there. ten likely doesn’t even notice (which sicheng is grateful for). “thank you. really... i’m very lucky to have you, ten, that all means a lot.”

he enjoys walking along with ten on his arm. it forces him to consider a life that he’ll never lead, but sometimes he gets joy out of pretending. other times, it gives him anxiety. fortunately for him, he’s in a good head space right now and he feels content and calm.. it’s nice. ten always has a way of making him feel like everything is going to be okay, one way or another. he feels more confident that there’s no way that he’d lose him, so he can feel what he feels without constant guilt or worry. “i guess we should, yeah. what do you think? do you think i’ll look good in one?”

[nctaezen]

winwin is a cat lover confirmed ♡

[sichengrk]

dance the night away.

♟ starter for @rkpjs !

whenever ten wasn’t available to hang out, sicheng was generally lost. while it was an option for him to hang around the apartment by himself, it wasn’t ideal. he wanted to get out and make more friends so that he wouldn’t be as reliant on his roommate, but that seemed to be easier said than done. he had a handful of people that he was fairly close to, but none of them were waiting by their phones for a call from sicheng asking if they wanted to hang out. most days, he had to just venture out into seoul and try to look for something to do or someone to talk to.

even though gaming isn’t something he’s extremely versed in, he still curiously finds his way to an arcade. once he’s inside and he’s looking around, he’s thankful that he has. he notices a familiar face and softly smiles before approaching the younger boy. “as a dancer, these games seem kind of bogus to me. my dancing is usually rather graceful but these force you to stomp in all different directions and then pretend that’s a valid way to judge someone’s ability.” he pauses, quietly laughing at his way of greeting jisung. “you any good at it?”

[sichengrk]

at least i look cool.

siyeonrk

he sees right through her and, again, she wonders why she’s so surprised. sicheng isn’t stupid and she isn’t subtle — unfortunately, she’s an open book when it comes to love, it’s just that the only person she wants to read it is too busy gaming to soak it in. still, that doesn’t give sicheng the right to say it so casually. won’t he allow her a little dignity? “that is n-not what I said…” she mutters, but she’s fighting a losing battle. “but fine… maybe I do like someone else. but I still feel bad for your standards if I’m not your type. they must be low.” when it doubt, pretend your ego is bigger than the solar system— and when that mask cracks, just admit that maybe you’re just worried you’ll never be good enough for anyone, much less him. for now, though, she just clicks her tongue. “you’re not allowed to like me, anyway, because then I’d have to reject you and I’d never get to see any movies.” 

she can’t really say that talking to her is both a great and terrible idea because it’d mean explaining why and she’s not really ready for that, but it is the case. she’s a great listener, at least she thinks so, and she does her best to comfort others. however, she isn’t a professional and she certainly has her own demons. how can she help other people with certain things if she can’t even help herself? “I’m not qualified for this but whatever— hit me with it. who’s this fictional crush you can’t get over? are they at least human? please tell me they’re human.” 

it’s genuinely not his intention to make her so uncomfortable or shifty, but he’s never been the best at cautiously tiptoeing around sore topics. he does wonder why she is so weird about having a crush. then again, he supposes that he usually is about his own, too. it’s too risky to openly talk about it when it’s not something that anyone wants to get back to the other person. sicheng could potentially trust siyeon with knowing about his own, but that’s only because he is pretty certain she doesn’t personally know the one who makes him weak in the knees. “i can see you’re being kind of strange about it, so i won’t ask a lot of questions. also, it’s not my standards. i mean... i don’t exactly play for your team... if you know what i mean.” he looks at her with a bit of an awkward smile, then quietly laughs. “it’s a good thing i don’t like you, then. well... not in that way, that is.”

her questions amuse him, and he pretends to accidentally bump into her even though it’s actually one-hundred percent intentional. “you’re so ridiculous. of course it’s human. it’s not a fictional crush, it’s a real crush. it’s, uh... an ex-idol. but the thing is, when this person used to be an idol, i was a big fan. in a way, i guess i never got over that, so it’s just... complicated. he’s extremely out of my league. but then again,  i’ve always had self-destructive tendencies.”

[sichengrk]

.poked full of holes

tenrk

having sicheng in his life is more than ten could have realistically wished for. at the start of the year he’d wished for a good year in which he grew and learnt new things, grew close to new people and learnt to love himself, his hobbies, his work, and his time alone again. he likes to think he’d done most of, if not all of those things, but he realises he’s not have been able to do a lot of it without having sicheng live with him. to learn to love his time alone he needed to have someone at home who could make it not feel like a lonely place. ten, being an extrovert, thrives off of having people around, but he also needs to learn how to entertain himself sometimes, so knowing there’s someone just in the other room in case he needs them makes it easier to learn to be by himself. 

so, sicheng has, in ten’s eyes, already repaid him for what ten has given him money wise. money isn’t even as valuable as what sicheng has given ten. “your friendship is worth more than money, sicheng.” he says, though he notices a part of him, a quiet part whispering something in his subconscious. he wishes that more than friendship sicheng could offer was of a romantic nature… he has to shake himself to get that sudden thought out of his brain - where did that come from? he tries to ignore it, deciding it’s best not to think about that right now, or at all. 

turning his mind back to the trip, which ten has mixed feelings about, he smiles. “you would?” having sicheng there would make it so much more bearable if things went south. he feels, among his friends, sicheng is one of the few he’d feel comfortable letting see the darker, less happy side of his family relationships. “i don’t think so, though he’d probably rather i brought some rich daughter of a company or something, but that’s clearly not going to happy.” he laughs. “i take it you don’t have any tailored suits?” he says, pretty sure he knows the answer already.

this probably wasn’t a fight that sicheng could win, so he decided he wouldn’t disagree. then again, he didn’t particularly think that ten was lying, anyway. he knew that ten genuinely felt like his friendship was worth a lot more than something material, especially when that something is money. it was a constant battle for him to remind himself that it wasn’t a huge deal to ten, but being that it’s never something he’s had an abundance of, he feels like it’s extremely important. 

then again, if the roles were reversed, he knows he’d never ever want ten to feel like he had to pay him back, either. in his eyes, ten is more valuable than anything or anyone else in his life. he wouldn’t trade his company for anything. as a matter of fact, he’d give every bit of money he owned just to keep him around, so he tries to consider that ten is capable of feeling the same... at least to an extent. “yeah... i know, don’t worry. no matter what i say or how much i think i need to repay you, me nor my friendship is going anywhere. you’re stuck with it, so it’s a good thing that it means so much to you.” he softly smiles at ten for a moment before shying away.

“of course. when are you going to learn that i’d probably follow you anywhere?” he says it before he even has time to think about how it’d sound. he just hopes it isn’t too much, though it’s true. he’s glad ten isn’t inviting him into a burning building or shark-infested waters, because he’d blindly follow the older without any questions asked. maybe that wasn’t a good thing. “a rich daughter, huh...” the comment reminds him of his own father. “well, i’m not any of those things, but maybe he’ll overlook that.” at the next question, he looks over at ten and quietly laughs, tilting his head. “what do you think?”

[sichengrk]

.poked full of holes

tenrk

ten’s surprised that sicheng doesn’t notice just how much of an affect he’s had on his life, but then he supposes he’s never really been too vocal about it. he’s not sure how to say ‘hey thanks for helping me no have a relapse from loneliness’ without it sounding a little too personal, not that he’d not share personal stuff with sicheng. the lighthearted playfulness of the second half of his response has ten smiling, though. “very true.” he’s not sure he’s in the mood to start telling sicheng all the ways he’s basically saved him from going south again. now’s not the time. 

money’s always been something ten’s had too much of, and has always liked to share. he loved throwing extravagant halloween parties and buying expensive gifts for his friends, treating people to dinner and drinks and coffee and treats - anything really. he just liked to buy things for people, so paying for things for sicheng didn’t seem like a huge deal, even if it was mainly just rent at the moment. “you don’t have to repay me sicheng, in fact i don’t want you to. everything i give you is a gift and it’s rude to return gifts.” he says with a playfully stern frown. he’s being serious, but he tries not to sound so stiff and strict about it. he doesn’t want sicheng to pay him back because he gains so much joy just from helping him out. “you simply being my friend is enough repayment.”

he’d been contacted by his dad recently with a request to visit and attend a fancy business party he was hosting for the company. he knows there’s an ulterior motivate behind the invitation, but he thinks he might as well try and either get on somewhat good terms with his father, or completely end their relationship through this visit. but, he doesn’t want to just go alone, and his dad has said he could bring someone, so he thought who better than his beloved roommate? “yeah it’s… well my dad invited me to this business party thing in bangkok, and i thought i should go and at least try to get on better terms with him, but i don’t want to go alone.”

his smile widens, pleased to hear ten agree with him. he knows that he is likely just humoring him, but it’s still nice to hear that he makes ten’s life interesting at the very least. he’s sure he brings more to the table than just that, however, even if he doesn’t entirely know how. he tends to underestimate himself, and he doesn’t think that it’s any different in this particular situation. at least he’s somewhat self-aware about it all and not wallowing in self-pity.

although he listens to ten speak, he isn’t convinced that he truly hears him. he would do his best to be respectful of the way ten feels, but at the same time... sometimes, he feels like he’s too willing to accept gifts from ten. maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t offer a gift in return. he just doesn’t have much that he can currently realistically offer. still, he softly smiles and even laughs a little, then looks up at ten with a fond look in his eyes. “thank you. really. i don’t intend on returning the same exact gifts, i just want to give you different gifts, too. something more than just my friendship, because you give me your friendship back, so that’s already evenly matched. i want to do more for you... though i’m not in any rush.”

“ah... i see.” once ten explains, sicheng knows for sure that this is something serious and it’s finally starting to sink in. he knows that he isn’t ten’s only friend, so he feels extremely honored that he’s the one being invited. maybe it shouldn’t, but it causes his heart rate to increase a little. “i’d be more than happy to go with you, ten. especially if you don’t want to go by yourself. i’m always willing to do anything and everything with you, you don’t ever have to be alone if you don’t want to be. besides, i’ve never been before. i’ve never traveled much in general, so... i’d like to see it. you don’t think your dad would mind?”

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