I don't say such things, I write them down.

[sidewalkeyes]

[sidewalkeyes]

Sedari dulu selalu begini,

Aku datang menawarkan bentangan lautan; dan akhirnya mereka jengah.

Mungkin mereka muak dengan asin-nya garam

Atau mereka merasa sesak karena harus terus menerus berenang

Andai saja sedari dulu aku tak perlu datang menawarkan apa apa kepada siapa-siapa.

Andai saja sedari dulu bentangan lautan itu ku tawarkan hanya pada diriku sendiri.

[thoughtkick]

“I like cancelled plans. And empty bookstores. I like rainy days. And thunderstorms. And quiet coffee shops. I like messy beds and over-worn pajamas. Most of all, I like the small joys that a simple life brings.”

— Unknown

[sidewalkeyes]

I think I need to remind myself to always try to look from different perspectives at whatever is happening to my life, especially now in this Pandemic time. 

A lot of things are beyond my control. A lot of things are beyond my understandings. 

And at times like this, I think I need to rely more on my faith. On my belief that Allah knows and I don’t know. Allah knows better. It can be that I don’t like things that are actually good for me, and I like things that are actually bad for me. 

So when looking at whatever happening to my life, I will try to always trust Allah’s plan. To acknowledge that I am as human is not in control of all things; Allah is. 

[sidewalkeyes]

Tubuh ini tak mungkin ku belah satu per satu, jika bisa ku bagi dua pasti akan ku taruh satu di dekatmu.

Aku hanya bisa menitipkan doa pada Tuhan, agar senantiasa damai hatimu, Ibu.

Jauhkan air mata, selipkan selalu senyum dan bahagia di hatinya.

[sidewalkeyes]

The relationship you have with yourself is for life. You are spending time with yourself more than you will be ever spending time with any other human being.

So the ability to soothe yourself in every seasons of your life is an essential skills you need to have.

[sidewalkeyes]

[sidewalkeyes]

I just read a book by Harvard Business Review about Resilience, a topic that often catches my attention.

Resilience is neither ethically good nor bad. It is merely the skill and the capacity to be robust under conditions of enormous stress and change.

Resilience is a way of facing and understanding the world — that is deeply etched into a person’s mind and soul. Resilient people face reality with staunchness, make meaning of hardship instead of crying out in despair, and improvise solutions from thin air.

Let’s break down the three building blocks of resilience described in the book;

The first one is that resilient people have very sober and down to earth views of those parts of reality that matter for survival. When we truly stare down reality, we prepare ourselves to act in wats that allow us to endure and survive extraordinary hardships. We train ourselves how to survive before the fact.

The second building blocks of resilience is the propensity to make meaning of terrible times. Resilient people devise constructs about their suffering to create some sort of meaning for themselves and others. The dynamic of meaning making is the way resilient people build bridges from present-day hardships to a fuller, better-constructed future.

The third building blocks of resilience is the ability to make do with whatever is at hand. They make the most of what they have, putting objects to unfamiliar uses.

And while some researchers argue that resilience is an innate ability, others researchers argue that you can train your brain to become more resilient; and here’s how:

1. Practice mindfulness 20-30 mins a day.

2. Challenge your downbeat thinking, replace it with a positive outlook.

3. Maintaining a positive outlook and regularly expressing gratitude

4. Keep written records of positive interactions, events, and memories.

5. Increase the amount of positive interactions and gratitude expressions.

6. Make it all a habit.

Those things is not hard to do, actually. So why not give it a try?

Because happiness is so often depends our own choices and actions.

[sidewalkeyes]

I shed some tears this morning, thinking about how protective Islam actually is towards its women and children, and how the culture of patriarchy and misogyny actually misinterpreted and twisted what the Quran has said about women and children.

It’s exhausting to hear conversations about how ‘Islam treats women’, when in actuality the person lecturing us doesn’t even know how Islam says women should be treated.

It’s hard for many people to make the distinction between Islam as a religion and Muslim culture. And sometimes, it’s our own Muslim community that makes things worse.

We can continue to point out that they are two different things, but until men stop using religion as a tool of oppression we’re not going to get that far.

And women really need to acknowledge and reclaim their rightful legacy by educating themselves.

Islam is fully protective of its women and children, the Quran says so. Do not let others tell you otherwise.

Because Islam actually gives a women a right to:

1. Education

2. To equality, even the sin of stealing and other sin for both men and women is equal.

3. It isn’t permissible in Islam to force the niqab / burqa upon women. What we wear for our God is a choice for the individual.

4. To work, to keep her property, earnings, even her own name after marriage

5. To be free of harm and to have her choice respected

6. To choose her own partner

7. Islam introduced compulsory legal marriage over 1.400 years ago to protect women and children in the event of death and divorce.

8. While men needs to state his desire to divorce his wife on three separate occasions, women need only make the request once. There is a misconception that Islam does not allow a woman the right to divorce her husband when actually Islam does gives her the right and He must release her with kindness and return to her what is hers.

9. A father has to fulfil his duty to raise and care for his daughters, and that obligations go beyond providing financial support. He must provide a safe, peaceful environment conducive to his daughters overall spiritual and moral development.

My knowledge of all of this is still shallow, and I really think we need to continue educate ourselves. Educate ourselves so that we can look clearly and we can empower ourselves more. 

[sidewalkeyes]

[sidewalkeyes]

[Al-Hadid: 22]

‎مَآ أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٖ فِي ٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَلَا فِيٓ أَنفُسِكُمۡ إِلَّا فِي كِتَٰبٖ مِّن قَبۡلِ أَن نَّبۡرَأَهَآۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ يَسِيرٞ

Tiada suatu bencanapun yang menimpa di bumi dan (tidak pula) pada dirimu sendiri melainkan telah tertulis dalam kitab (Lauhul Mahfuzh) sebelum Kami menciptakannya. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu adalah mudah bagi Allah.

[Al-Hadid: 23]

‎لِّكَيۡلَا تَأۡسَوۡاْ عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمۡ وَلَا تَفۡرَحُواْ بِمَآ ءَاتَىٰكُمۡۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٖ فَخُورٍ

(Kami jelaskan yang demikian itu) supaya kamu jangan berduka cita terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan supaya kamu jangan terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap orang yang sombong lagi membanggakan diri

[sidewalkeyes]

The flower doesn't explain why she has petals. The flower simply blooms according to her nature.

Mirtha Michelle Castro Marmol; Eighteen Inches

[sidewalkeyes]

[sidewalkeyes]

[sidewalkeyes]

Sepotong Nasihat

“Islam itu kata kerja, dan dua hal yang paling penting dalam islam adalah sabar dan syukur.

Pokoknya dalam hidup ini, tinggal pilih aja antara dua hal tersebut, kalau ngalamin sesuatu hal mungkin cocoknya sabar, kalau ngalamin yang lain mungkin cocoknya syukur. 

Kita seringkali tidak memakai terminologi ini sehingga jadinya kacau. Kadang-kadang kita perlu bersabar, kita gak sabar. Kadang-kadang masalah ini sederhana, tinggal bersyukur. Tapi karena kita tidak pernah belajar bersyukur, jadinya justru terasa kacau. 

Karena kemampuan bersyukur itu berbanding lurus dengan dengan tingkat kebahagiaan. 

Ada orang yang naik mobil setengah milyar tapi karena tanpa rasa syukur ia tidak merasakan nikmat apa-apa, tapi ada orang yang naik motor namun karena ia dipenuhi dengan rasa syukur dia merasa lebih nikmat dibanding orang yang naik mobil. 

Bukan saya melarang anda punya mobil atau rumah bagus. Tapi saya ingin mengatakan bahwa; 

Sehebat-hebatnya dunia ini, masih lebih hebat management akal manusia. “

--Emha Ainun Nadjib

[sidewalkeyes]

Grieving, mourning, crying are natural emotions. Grieving is an important part of living because experiencing loss is inevitable for everyone. The older you become, the more losses you sustain. Therefore, you need to work out a way of handling grief.

—

Coming fill circle is what grieving is about: to come to terms with the loss and to arrive at a point where you go back to your way of living and seeing lifef as worthwhile.

Excerpt from:

Morrie: In His Own Words by Morrie Schwartz

[sidewalkeyes]

A letter to my beloved, imperfect parents.

Dear,

Mom and dad; The love I first encounter in my life.

As I get older, I can see better of you.

I can see that both of you are just a human being. And human beings have emotions, human beings make mistakes.

Just like me, you’re just trying to do your best to live day by day.

Just like me, you have your ups and downs in life.

And just like me, sometimes you feel strong emotions like anger, sadness, and frustrations.

I didn’t understand back then. I hated it when I saw you yelled in frustration. I hated it when you show any emotions other than happy.

But I do understand now.

And at times when you feel sad or angry,

I wish I could be water to your fire.

I wish I could calm down the storms in your heart.

I wish I could bring you more joy in your life.

I wish I would never be your reason to cry.

I wish and I wish and I wish; for your happiness,

for your strength and patience to face all the hardships life has to give you.

I know life has been hard for both of you since you were little, but you managed to give me the best life I could ever imagine.

I owed it all to you.

I owed it all to you.

I wish Allah will open his doors of paradise for both of you, I wish you both happiness in here and in Jannah.

I love you both beyond words, I love you both beyond any explanation.