νι¢тσяισυѕ / ℓσуαℓ

ɪɴᴅ. sɪɢʏɴ - ɴᴏʀsᴇ ᴍʏᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢʏ / ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ

[sigxn-blog]

       “ You are COMPLETELY out of your mind ”

AND SHE WAS RIGHT. Loki could easily pass as a demented man, and not only for his sickening, exhausted and pained appereance, but the words that were coming out of his mouth, and his violent actions; damn, her arm was broken now, and even the pain she felt was beyond description, it blurred by her heartache´s side. He clearly didn´t know the truth behind her absense all these years; Loki wasn´t the only victim of Odin´s wrath, so was her and her children. In that moment, she felt the need of finding that man just to slaughter him.

Sigyn took a deep breath and looked at him. Her hope of regaining his love and trust was gone but at least he should know the truth. Her words were meaningless for him at that point but Odin´s lies have gone too far.

Tears kept rambling down her cheeks, a hand placed on his so he wouldn´t forget she wasn´t an illusion.

        “ I won´t stop you anymore from trying to reach that wicked dream you have in mind, you made me open my eyes as well and see you are no more the man I married, but let me tell you, you were not the only one who suffered by Odin´s rage, and even before and after that, I remained by your side, even if it hurted me more than what our marriage was meant to be.

          As you were rejected for being a Laufeyson, so I was for being the daughter of no one, no one as relevant as the royal family. Iwaldidottir, hah... that name wouldn´t take me anywhere and less keep me by your side not even after marriage. Our kids were considered a failure by the Allfather, so I was, described as unworthy of your hand, unworthy of calling the prince of Asgard my husband, unworthy of carrying his children. As soon as I was sent to heal warriors out of the realm, Narfi and Vali were EXILED to Vanaheim, and I was the next. I practically begged the guards who threw me there to give me a chance to talk with you, or Odin, but my words were for nothing. I tried to call Heimdall, I tried to talk to Thor, I tried everything, until I heard the news WE were dead.

         There was no way to communicate with you; the only places you visited were Jotunheim and then just remained in Asgard. It was when I knew you were on Midgard when I had the opportunity to come and explain you everything, perhaps try to build again that beautiful marriage we once had. But I guess that is a hopeless dream, look at you! I never considered you evil, but that is what you are now, evil, a man that is willing to destroy a whole race just for envy and power thirst, a man that destroyed the house that saw him grow up, my husband would have NEVER hurted me physically nor emotionally. You are wicked, Narfi and Vali were so excited when I told them I would come to find you, but... I guess the only thing they will see of you with me will be this broken bone, and my heart shattered in a million pieces.

          ... It tears me apart to know you don´t believe me, that you feel everything I ever told you, every experience we shared together, was a lie. You are completely brainwashed, I... I just hope my children don´t become like you, even in the past I begged for that to happen, because I admired you, I looked up to you, I LOVED YOU. Now those feelings need to go away, because, it seems, my husband indeed died in the void. ”

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn turned to see her husband and leaned her head on her hand, while resting her body on her elbow, silently hearing Loki´s words. One hand placed on his chest, and it slowly went up his soft and pale cheekbone. A huge lump shaped on her throat as she heard how they lied to him about his children, even that was a complete abuse for her husband and children as well. Those kids had nothing to do with Loki´s actions and yet Odin treated them like monsters, and took them away from their home.

      “  Of course I am  ”  smiled  “  Loki, I am your wife, what kind of wife would I be if I left you? Perhaps not the Goddess of Fidelity, don´t you think? 

          They didn´t only lie to you, my love, they lied to any person who asked about them, even me; Loki, some people don´t even know who´s children are them, Odin made sure the truth stayed undercover. But I got the information... myself, after I discovered they were yours  ”

The healer knew the information was going to break her husband, but she needed to say that before she suggested a plan to find - or meet with - his children that were not children anymore unfortunately. Information she didn´t say before because thought her husband had left for real. She knew that Loki was craving to see his children again, but for now... the only thing she could do was talk about them.

Loki´s kvinne sighed deeply before starting.

       “  I met Hela ” said with no hesitation on her voice, then... a gloomy smile appeared on her lips. Genuine, full of joy and sadness at the same time  “  She is, indeed... just like you, Loki, you have no idea... I... at the very moment I saw her, I knew she came from you; emerald eyes, dark hair, beyond beautiful; she is... tall, slender, strong, but patient and charming. However... that charm goes hand by hand with her power, and how deadly she can be. And that is a compliment; I´ve never seen a queen imparting so much respect before, as she does. I got to talk to her just a few minutes but... sadly, Odin lied to her as well about you, dammit... Odin does still have communication with her, but he never mentions you, not even when she asks. 

           As soon as I mentioned being your wife, she... turned defensive and told me to leave. She strongly believes you left them, as does Fenrir the wolf - who by the way, is such a majestic animal, big, and just like you and Hela, his fur is dark and his eyes are emerald - I tried to explain her, and she just told me ´I am a woman of facts. Words are empty. I don´t believe anything I don´t see.´  

           So I inmediately knew it was my duty to take you to her. She is willing to meet you, but as I said, don´t be surprised, and try not to break down when she shows a defensive behavior. Now the question is... are you willing to do it with me?  ”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

SIGYN:

    “But I want my babies,” Loki whimpered, despondent and for the moment, fully     inconsolable. He loved Narfi and Vali, yes, but children could not be replaced     with others. There remained an empty hole in a parent’s heart where they’d     once resided, one that couldn’t be simply filled in. “I miss my babies. I do not     care how old they are now, that is what they are to me. But to Odin, they were     only monsters. How could he? How could he take my babies from me?”

    He wept into her collarbones, each sob and sniffle more desperate than the     last. Loki had never felt ashamed of his nature until the Allfather had declared     it unnatural, and his children dangerous. They were but newborn infants - Hel     a baby girl; Fenrir a small, downy-furred pup; and Jormungandr a tiny coil of a     juvenile snake. And he hadn’t been able to stop them from being cast out, no     matter how much he screamed and cried. Often, he wondered if he were even     meant to raise children, if they were only going to get taken away from him     before their first birthday.

    “Can you?” he sniffed. “Can you get them back for me? I need them, Sigyn. I     fear my heart will never be whole again without them. I know my dreams will     never be sweet again without my children. I would do anything to get them     back, anything to hold them in my arms again. Wouldn’t you do anything for     me?”

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn took his hands and kissed his cheek, her most affectionate and loving look ever stuck on his emerald eyes. She would absolutely do it, she loved his children just as her own, and would even give her life for them if necessary. Because Sigyn wasn´t only his wife, he was his best friend, his lover, his missing piece, and she´d never fail him as many others did.

       “  If I can´t bring them back, I´ll take you to them  ”  she assured. Sigyn took his hands and kept explaining, this time with a more serious look. 

       “  ... I want you to understand something my love, they are babies for us, they never had love in their lifes, and I expect the best for when we finally meet them again, I want a family with them, to build what you didn´t have in the past, but... as I said, they are young for us, but they already built a life out of the necessity. I did my research, and just a few details of the information you already had about their whereabouts is wrong. Fenrir the wolf is on Helheim right now as the guardian of his sister´s realm, he is sometimes on Niflheim though; Jormungandr is on Midgard indeed, but the ocean is huge and it´ll be almost impossible to find him. And finally... Hela is the Goddess of Death now. I don´t... know how her life had been, but I got...  ” 

She lowered her gaze.  

        “  Quite bad news of what she has done these years, so... I need you to be strong. If they have a bad attitude at the first meeting, is normal, if they even reject us, don´t worry, it´s a matter of time, and... we won´t give up. Okay?  ”

[demisepsd]

                                     “  ι   нανє    αи     αяму   ”

                       𝐿𝑜𝓀𝒾´𝓈 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝓇𝑒𝓃 - Jormundangr, Hela, Fenrir, Narfi & Vali.

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

SIGYN:

    Loki couldn’t help but let out an upset whine when Vali was taken from his     arms. He held strong protective instincts pertaining to all of his children, and     they ran deeper into his veins than even his seidr. The Jotun calmed, though,     when he received a kiss on his frigid cheek.

    His wife’s inquiries were born of good intentions, but thinking back to the birth     of his children made him wince. It was the only memory he had of what they     looked like, as he’d not seen them since their banishment. Before Odin’s     choice, the memory held an air of blessedness. Now, it held more hurt     than anything else.

    “I don’t know if I can answer that,” Loki sighed shakily, gritting his teeth to     avoid yet more tears. “I haven’t caught a glimpse of my children since their     banishment, so I know not what they look like now. Hel was sent to rule over     those who died of old age, sickness, or any other cause lacking honor. Fenrir     was kept in Asgard, but in the depths of its catacombs and in chains. I don’t     know his exact location. Jormungandr is somewhere in Midgard’s seas. They     looked… they were-”

    He burst into tears, quickly setting Narfi in Sigyn’s lap. The heritage lines on     Loki’s face moved with his distressed expression, and his hands moved to     clutch his stomach. “I can’t, I can’t talk about it. It hurts too much, and I never     healed from Odin taking them away from me. I never healed in any form.     To cry from how beautiful your newborn children are, only to cry from panic     and indescribable pain as they’re torn from your arms hours later… it kills     you. I spent the seven months after that in both numbness and deep sadness.     I rarely came out of my quarters, and I barely took care of myself. No     one checked on me. No one cared.”

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn felt something break inside of her. She glances down to look at her babies, they were her whole world, she wasn´t able to even imagine the pain Loki was through when they took his children away from him. She could tell he grew desesperate - how couldn´t him? how couldn´t anyone who has children? - That was beyond CRUEL from the Allfather. That moment Sigyn convinced herself from something. Loki or his children were NOT the real monsters on the Asgardian castle. 

Odin was.

Sigyn let the kids walk on the floor and she moved close to her husband, pulling him close to her chest, hugging him tightly and leaving kisses on his forehead. The pain on his eyes was so strong she could even feel that pain each time she looked at him. She was completely devoted to him and would do anything to bring him happiness again, even if it included betraying the royal family in order to bring his kids back to him.

         “ You don´t have to talk about them anymore sweetheart, I understand you. ” she said as her hand softly caressed his hair  “ I will never be able to feel your pain, but you have my unconditional love, support, and also the love of our babies. I´ll never forgive Odin for what he has done to you and your beautiful children, if you asked me right now to bring them all, I´d do it with no hesitation, because as I said before, I love them as my own kids and I´d do anything for them. I... I know they all are not young anymore, but it´s never too late to build that bond again. I´m sure they love you and are waiting for you as much as you do with them  ”

[silvertongued-trickster-arch]

ᛋᛁᚷᛃᚾ — sigxn

A wet laugh with mixed emotions beneath it comes out of her lips, disbelief no; disappointment? perhaps. She turns to see the trickster by leaning on her elbow to the other side of the bed.

        “ What do you mean with no choice, Loki? You are not just the second son of Odin, the prince of Asgard, you are a formidable warrior with so much power, intelligence, wit and knoweledge many deities would sacrifice an eye of their face to own. How is it possible you fell for someone´s lies, YOU the GOD OF LIES!, risking your own life, and not only yours but Asgard itself? Av nornene, sweetheart! ”

She knew there was something hidden behind those emotionless eyes, she could even feel fear on them, even he seemed safe enough on Asgard´s prison. She sighs deeply, and places a hand on his, rubbing it with her soft fingers.

“ I want you to tell me what is really going on, and if it´s really over as you say.”

❝ I had no choice! That is what I mean! ❞ The trickster snapped in response, removing his hand from underneath hers and getting up from his side of the bed. Taking a deep, heavy sigh Loki ran both hands through his mess of raven-black hair as he attempted to calm himself. Pacing around the small footprint of his prison, he continued.

❝ …There are some things that even I cannot talk myself out of. There are some thing that intelligence and wit cannot save you from. I did not fall for any lies. I knew from the start that the grandeur, that promise of the mortal world was false. Even if it was true, I couldn’t care less about ruling the mortals! And, yet, I STILL agreed to it nonetheless. Why? Because I had. NO. CHOICE.❞ Loki repeated, each word sharp on his tongue. There was a moments pause and, with a shaky breath, the trickster’s anger seemed to evaporate, instead turning to desperation as he wished for her to just understand…

❝ My love… it was comply, or death — a slow and painful death… And I was a coward. ❞ 

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn had never seen her husband in such state of DESESPERATION, it must... no, it definitely IS an extremely serious situation. Loki had been trained his whole life to hide his emotions, to hide his fear from the battles and any overwhelming situation in general, and this time, he was as transparent as water itself; she could even say she didn´t recognize him.

Her expression softens as he talks, and when he finally finishes, she moves closer to him, cupping both sides of his face with her soft hands.

        “ ... You are not a coward my love. ”  she mumbled as her thumb caressed his cheekbone, trying to calm him down.  “ If any of us would have been in the same situation, I assure you we all would have done the same. I´m sorry for not understanding at the first time, it´s just that... I was so used to see you handling things perfectly your whole life, that I couldn´t believe you´d fall into something like that. 

           Loki, my darling... when I found out you were dead, my heart shattered completely with no hope of healing, and now that I have you here, I am so afraid to lose you I think I´ll go insane in any moment just of thinking what that creep will do to you or...  ”  she took a deep breath and left a quick kiss on his forehead, staying there.  

         “ ... I know you hate him, and I hate him too for the way he treated you all over these years, but... you should really talk to Odin about this. Or Thor... I don´t know, someone... ”

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn couldn´t help but tear up a bit at such beautiful scene, her beloved husband back with her and their kids again, a thing she could only see on her dreams the last two weeks. She sat by his side and took one of their kids on her arms, so Loki would hold the other easily.

         “ Of course they aren´t sweetheart, they love you as much as I do. You are no monster for us, and that is all that matters. ” she said as she placed a kiss on his cheek “ They are jotun as well, well half jotun; and despite they are not aware of it, I´m sure they will accept their nature. It´s time you do the same as well, my love. 

            ....I was also wondering... I know about Narfi and Vali´s siblings, but I don´t know if they are capable of turning into a jotun form. Are they? In that case it´s almost a hundred percent probable my children turn into jotuns as well. OH, Talking about your children... how are they? I mean... how do they look, where do they live, I am so curious to know, and excited to meet them soon. I´m sure they are as cute as their father ” she said with a smile. Her loving and maternal nature showing up.

[sigxn-blog]

                          “ ᴡʜᴏ ᴘᴇʀsᴇᴠᴇʀᴇs ᴡɪɪᴛʜ ᴄᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴄʏ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴇʀᴠᴏʀ

                                   wíll rαísє hímsєlf tσ α 𝐻𝒾𝑔𝒽 𝒹𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝑒 

                                                              𝑜𝒻

                                             ＰＥＲＦＥＣＴＩＯＮ.” 

[seidmadr]

ｓｉｇｙｎ

Her hand was raised and in a matter of seconds, the sound of her hand leaving a cold, fast, hard slap on Loki’s cheek could be heard. Her trembling lips didn´t let her talk, her hands were still trembling as well, and her heart completely shattered. She had never punched him before, been violent with him in any way, but she was not alien to her emotions either, and her mind could not stand the anger and the sadness that she felt. Yes, she felt disgusted, but not because of him itself, she felt disgusted of the way he was thinking, the man he was now. However, her love for him was strong, as it had always been.

         “ Do I feel like an hallucination to you now?! Am I a ghost?! ” she yelled at him with a broken voice “ I never thought you´d be so easy to manipulate, Loki, you are smart enough to figure he is only using you, why would he want your company? your services? isn’t that monster you talk about with so much desire able to kill you once he get what he wants from you? I don´t know what he showed you, but… I´m more than sure that you are still there, my husband… the father of Narfi and Vali, or do you consider them hallucinations as well?! ”

The asgardian cupped his face, forcing him to see her. She didn´t know what to do, she could feel something very bad had happened to him, and worst things were about to happen to them all. By the norns… it was so hard to have him so close in that state, the only thing she wanted, was to express all the love she had for him, her endless loyalty.

“ The only fantasy you are living in, is this poisonous dream, sweetheart. Do you want to hear the truth? You are Loki Odinson, the God of Mischief. The norns saw on you more potential and gave you the opportunity to be who you are today, a prince, my prince, the father of two amazing children, the second hand to rule Asgard, a warrior. You are better than this, you cannot condemn a whole race of mortals and force them to live under your rules, you can´t serve to a monster that only causes harm, look at you! Loki… this is not how the king he promised you to be would look. Please… ” Sigyn was literally begging him to open his eyes. Her hands softened it´s grip and caressed his face, desesperate 

                                      “ min kjære, please, do not do something you might regret. Come with me, please leave this wicked plan…  ”

If she had been mortal, or a hallucination, the slap she’d given him would have barely have enough impact to turn his head, let alone leave a mark on his cheek. The nerve endings on his cheek stung and burned from the slap, but it was nothing compared to the rage he felt. How dare she raise a hand to him? How dare she think herself on equal footing with him. He was a King, she was below him in station, and therefore had no right to strike him, or to challenge him on his behaviour. She ought to be begging for his mercy, not chastising him. Loki would have her hand for this, she would be an example to all that his reign was to go unchallenged and that there would be consequences if anyone disrespected him.

“Watch your tongue, lest I remove it along with your hand.” He spat back at her, keeping his voice low but with all the impact of having shouted himself. “I acknowledge that you are real, but everything else that comes from your lips is a lie.” Grabbing hold of her wrist, he pulled it away from his face and held it in a death tight grip, twisting it till he could feel the bones start to crack under the pressure. “Hear this, and hear it well sváss. I am not being manipulated or controlled. The decisions I make are my own, and it is time for you to accept that. When all of this is over, when I have given him the Tesseract I will be rewarded. I will be King of this realm, I will be the one to lead them to greatness and protect them from the threats that are out there.” He released her hand and stepped back, a twisted smile on his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You could rule beside me as my Queen. It would take time to trust you again after you betrayed me, after you made me think you were dead, but we could be husband and wife again.” 

She can’t be trusted. For a brief moment, Loki was back on Sanctuary, standing before The Other. Do not let her distract you from your mission. She is trying to lead you astray, she will abandon you again as soon as you let your guard down. She made you think she was dead, she took your sons from you and abandoned you to those who mistreated you. Do not be stupid.

As quickly as his mind had been dragged to the Sanctuary, it was thrown back again and he was once again staring at the woman who had abandoned him. “I am not an Odinson, I never was and the fact that you are trying to convince me that I was anything more than a tool to be used by that family, just shows how foolish you are.” He twisted the sceptre around in his hand, the soft hum echoing in his head. “You would have me settle for being a Prince, when he is offering me the opportunity to be a King.” He laughed. “I will not abandon my mission, and if you will not stand with me, then you are my enemy.”

[sigxn-blog]

Her bones were not the only thing that broke in that moment, but her heart; it physically hurted, feeling it shattering into millions of pieces. The light of hope she once had of getting her husband back faded away, leaving only darkness, pain, even self hatred. Betrayal? Sigyn had been nothing more than loyal to him, she herself had the name of that virtue on her title as a deity, the Goddess of Fidelity, the only one capable of loving him despite... despite this. His poisoned illusions, his violent words and now... actions.

Tears rambling down her eyes, unstoppable and undying. She was about to say something, but a loud voice was heard inside her mind, and somehow... it caused pain with each word he pronounced. Was it Loki? No... this voice is different... Her hands cupped both sides of her head, even the one that was broken, in an attempt of shutting the voice, the noise.

 ´ Your presence had stopped our loyal leader to his purpose... a couple of children are going to pay. for your insolence  ´

          “ No... ”

She quickly grew desesperate after hearing these words, safety was over for her, and her sons. Did this person already kidnapped her sons, or worse... hurted them? She started sweating cold, and the worst fact was that even if she had her husband right in front of her, she would get nothing but rejection and perhaps another couple of broken bones.

Suddenly, the yell of a child burdened her thoughts, and then... another... and another...

          “ ...He is killing them ” she mumbled, soon glancing up to Loki crying a river, desesperate. She took a few steps back breathing hard and unable of staying a minute close to that man that once called himself her husband. Her mumbles became yellings. She was too far from them, how was she supposed to help, to save them? 

The child´s cry became louder, harder to hear...

           “ I shouldn´t have come... ” she cried and stepped forward just to take him from the shoulders “ HE IS KILLING THEM!... he is killing them right now... forbannelse Loki he is KILLING OUR KIDS! ”

She put his hand on her own head so he´d be able to hear it too; their children´s voice, their children´s suffering. Sigyn couldn´t stop sobbing, 

                                                                                “ Loki... Loki please... I promise to leave... I promise to let you go and not see your face ever again, but PLEASE just help them... please... please  ” 

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn leaves soft kiss on his lips before nodding.

         “ Of course I can, darling. ”

The wife of the trickster leaves him and goes to the room, located in the other side of the hallway; at the end of it, in fact. She holds one of her babies in one hand, and placed his little head on her right shoulder, and does the same with the other in her right shoulder. She didn´t bother on waking them up since she was more than sure they´d wake up as soon as they felt their father. Lokison were indeed adorable children, and beyond powerful at such young age; she felt so proud of being their mother.

She walks out the room now with both kids on her arms, eventually, they both woke up and rubbed their eyes trying to get used to the light after being asleep for many hours. And as soon as they saw Loki, extended their arms to him, asking to carry them on his arms.

Sigyn just watches the scene beside Loki, once the children were on his arms and not hers anymore. Both literally clinged to their father.

         “ Daddy is home, my loves ”

[sigxn-blog]

Sighs. His insecurity was showing again. By the norns, if he could just see himself the way she sees him. Self love is hard to achieve, but with the correct person, with the correct words, everything is possible.

Loki´s wife walks towards him and hugs him from behind, her lips placed on the curve of his shoulder and neck, leaving a soft kiss on his cold skin. However, he only gave her the warmest feelings at his touch.

         “ Laufey´s son is not who I married, my husband is not defined by the person who gave him life. ” she mumbled “ My husband is the best prince, warrior and king Asgard ever had, burdened with smartness, knowledge, power, strength, charisma, courage... The battle´s strategist, the missing piece of any puzzle; perseverant with any goal he wants to reach, a lovely husband, a lovely father. Father of amazing beings, two prodigy children born for sorcery, the most powerful wolf of the nine realms, the greatest serpent, the Goddess of Death. A man who beat death twice, and could face the team of the mightiest heroes of Midgard just using his intelligence. Sometimes I ask myself what did I do to have such luck, and have that man right now in front of me.

            Yes, he is son of no one, because no one DESERVES to call him his son. ”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

sigxn‌:

Sigyn turned to see her husband in surprise and nodded quickly.

      “ Oh- of course, yes! ” she didn´t hesitate on walking to the kitchen and pouring a bit of soup on a porringer, and seafood in another plate, salmon in fact. She also poured orange juice on a tall glass, and put bread and fruits on a basket in case he wanted more.

After placing everything on the table, she sat beside Loki, waiting for him to start eating. She picked a strand of his hair and lovingly placed it behind his ear.

 “ Tell me if it´s okay or… if you want something else. Also, try not to eat too fast my love, you could get a stomach ache since it is getting used to nutrients after many days. I can also prepare warm water for you to take a bath ”

The voice of one of their children interrupted her. She quickly stood up and went to the room where Vali was crying, a few seconds later she came back to the kitchen with him in her arms. He had the size of a 2 year old child, blonde, with his father´s eyes.

        “ Someone is hungry too, I see ”

    Never would he admit it aloud, but Loki barely heard Sigyn’s words     over how famished he felt looking at just the salmon. He quickly     nodded, though it took him much more than the spread before him     for her warning to come true. In fact, when she came back with Vali,     he was already devouring the fish and bread. Loki paused, though,     when he saw the tears in his son’s eyes.

     “Are you sure that’s it?” he asked, voice thinning with sudden guilt.       He hadn’t even considered how much the twins must have yearned       for their father. “I was… gone for what likely seemed eons to him and       Narfi. Was he okay? Is he? He probably thought I had…”

    Abandoned him, the remorse Loki felt supplied, but he didn’t voice it.     He silenced himself by finishing the bread and salmon, then inhaling     the fruit as he barely heeded her caution about going too fast.

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn sighed, she had so much to tell them about his children but  didn´t want to overwhelm him either. With the child on her arms yet, she walks to the kitchen looking for some milk to give him, and also cookies in case he decides to eat a little. She pressed her hand on his forehead and let out a deep sight.

        “ No... ”

Turning to see her husband as she walked to the table again, she said.         

           “ He got sick after you left, they got sick, and it´s been like that since then. When the healers told me it was due to your absense I was about to look for you; I was really torn apart. I didn´t know If I should bother you, or stay with them, so I decided the second option hoping they heal, but it didn´t happen. They are as sensitive to energy as you are, so when they stopped feeling their father´s, they got desesperate, and grew sick. 

               I´m sure that once he wakes up completely, he´ll be able to feel you again and heal quickly. ”

[silvertongued-trickster-arch]

ᚹᛁᚠᛖ — sigxn

        “ So… everything for the Tesseract ”

Since Loki was able to keep an illusion for a very long time, even on jail, Sigyn decided to use her magic and break the rules for once to stay inside that white room with her beloved husband, even if they were barely talking. The blonde decided to break the silence, and look at the man next to her.

He had become so powerful, yet so dangerous, ambituous.

        “ … Loki… you know that I love you, but… ” sighs deeply “ That doesn´t mean I approve everything you do, you know? I have a bad feeling about this,. Even you are already in prision, doesn´t mean things are already over. ”

The trickster had not spoken much since his ‘trial’… Albeit, he hadn’t had many visitors to speak to. Sigyn and his mother seemed to be the extent of it, and even then, half of the time they were Loki’s own illusions, created so that he wouldn’t feel MAD talking to himself. This time, though, was real. And SIgyn could stay as long as she wanted inside these walls, the rest of the prison saw only Loki in the cell. 

It was nice to have the company, even if they weren’t speaking. Loki lay beside her, his focus directed up at the stark white ceiling, sharp green eyes staring into the nothingness, staring through the nothingness. She was right, about the bad feeling — Loki also sensed it… it felt like… impending doom, like he was being hunted… What in the Nine had he gotten himself into. 

❝ I had no choice.❞ There was an almost solemn tone to the trickster’s voice. He could trust her with the truth, he could trust ONLY HER. Perhaps she would believe him.

[sigxn-blog]

A wet laugh with mixed emotions beneath it comes out of her lips, disbelief no; disappointment? perhaps. She turns to see the trickster by leaning on her elbow to the other side of the bed.

         “ What do you mean with no choice, Loki? You are not just the second son of Odin, the prince of Asgard, you are a formidable warrior with so much power, intelligence, wit and knoweledge many deities would sacrifice an eye of their face to own. How is it possible you fell for someone´s lies, YOU the GOD OF LIES!, risking your own life, and not only yours but Asgard itself? Av nornene, sweetheart! ” 

She knew there was something hidden behind those emotionless eyes, she could even feel fear on them, even he seemed safe enough on Asgard´s prison. She sighs deeply, and places a hand on his, rubbing it with her soft fingers.

             “ I want you to tell me what is really going on, and if it´s really over as you say.”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

SIGYN

    Loki’s lips parted, both in surprise and to meet her kiss, but     as soon as he felt it, Sigyn was looking back at him. The     loving glint in her eyes made him nearly sob with her. He     pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her ribcage,     wanting to feel her heart. Loki was curious if it hammered     as violently as his did.

    When he was about to soothe her guilt, Loki remembered     she’d asked if he wanted anything to eat. It was only when     he looked down at himself that he saw within his two weeks     of self-exile, he’d lost weight noticeably. It was nothing acutely     concerning, but Loki did not want to give her another reason     to feel remorse.

    “Uh, you said you still had some dinner left, correct?” he asked,      glancing to the stove. What she’d prepared smelled much more      pleasant than amaranth. “See, I’ve not eaten much lately - no,      it’s not what it sounds like and it isn’t your fault. It’s quite hard      to find edible roots around here. I could not hunt anything, either,      i-in the emotional state I was in…”

[sigxn-blog]

Sigyn turned to see her husband in surprise and nodded quickly.

      “ Oh- of course, yes! ” she didn´t hesitate on walking to the kitchen and pouring a bit of soup on a porringer, and seafood in another plate, salmon in fact. She also poured orange juice on a tall glass, and put bread and fruits on a basket in case he wanted more.

After placing everything on the table, she sat beside Loki, waiting for him to start eating. She picked a strand of his hair and lovingly placed it behind his ear.

        “ Tell me if it´s okay or... if you want something else. Also, try not to eat too fast my love, you could get a stomach ache since it is getting used to nutrients after many days. I can also prepare warm water for you to take a bath ”

The voice of one of their children interrupted her. She quickly stood up and went to the room where Vali was crying, a few seconds later she came back to the kitchen with him in her arms. He had the size of a 2 year old child, blonde, with his father´s eyes.

        “ Someone is hungry too, I see ”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

SIGYN

    Holding back a guilty cringe at what he’d inadvertently done     to her health, Loki sat down to hear her out. He could not     dismiss a single word that left Sigyn’s lips this time. He felt     how hard she was trying to fix what she thought irreparable.     Loki’s forced glare faltered when she declared her love for     his children, despite having never seen them. Just as he was     about to admit his wrongs, though, she’d walked away.

    “Sigyn, wait,” Loki urged, not expecting her to turn around and      a wretched part of him not for her to care. He took a deep breath      and let his defenses collapse. “I should not have been so harsh      the morning you came to me, after I’d run off. The first thing I      should have done was at least try to listen, but it was the last on      my mind. Just as feeling your loyalty has been taken for granted      infuriates you… my love for my children being questioned enrages      me. It turns me into the beast the Allfather thought of each one.      It feels as though I’m back in that moment, desperately explaining      myself but failing all the same. I’m sorry I treated you as if you      had been standing there.”

    He gave a wet laugh, but his features remained distressed. “We     aren’t fire and ice, but water from two different oceans. When calm,     we balance the other out in a beautiful display of contrasting seas     meeting. When either of us is torrential, it wreaks havoc for the life     surrounding us. Love, I know I can be wrong - and often, I am. But     you can be as headstrong as I am, and I love you for that. Please     work this out with me; we are both stubborn enough to succeed.”

[sigxn-blog]

She could feel a sparkle of hope shine inside her heart; a huge smile shaped on her face and her emotions blinded any rational thoughts, making her practically run towards her husband and hug him tighly, sitting on his lap. These emotions also forced her to cry on his arms releasing her from the pain she had been through these days without him. Loki´s arms were the only ones that could fill her with a warm feeling despite his jotun nature, those arms she had been craving to feel, touch and embrace.

        “ I´m sorry... I just missed you so much ” her cry was a mix of joy and regret. “ I thought I genuinely lost you forever; if someone referred that way to my children, I´d be as upset or even more than you. 

             I love you, and the only thing I want right now is to mend the damage I did and work this out with you. When I hear those words coming out your mouth, I can´t be more sure that I married the correct man; yes, my darling, we both are different, but we need each other to exist; Light and darkness as everyone refers to us, we are different but complement each other, one does not exist without the other, and the presence of the other is not noticed without said differences. My light had no meaning without you around and it even started to fade when I couldn´t feel you like I do right now. ” her fingers caressed his cheekbones as her gaze got stuck on his, until she couldn´t help leaving a heated kiss on his lips. “ Min kjære, I hurted you so much...  ”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

SIGYN

    For the first time since her accusations the previous day, Sigyn     was correct. It was Loki’s choice to return to anyone. At the very     basis of his character, one pillar had always stood: he didn’t want     to belong to anyone. Even in relationships, Loki was his own self     and would always be. So without another word or even looking     back, he walked away from his once-love.

    Loki would not deem the following two weeks as ‘soul-searching’.     He was merely searching for what he did wrong and if being with     Sigyn again was even plausible. As hard as he tried during the     lonely nights lying on cavern floors, Loki could not feel much guilt.     He had entrusted the goddess of fidelity with his heart, and she     hadn’t hesitated to tear it apart after hearing rumors. It smarted that     Sigyn saw through his lies, but not through others’ about him. To     stave off tears, Loki ran his fingertips over the same three leather     wristlets and ended up shedding some for a different reason.

    On the last day of his self-exile, Loki knocked on their- no, Sigyn’s     door - in a familiar pattern. He waited for her to come towards the     sound, stomach aching from scavenging for food in forests. Shortly,     he’d had enough of standing outside in drained sorrow and steady     rain.

    “Is your so-called angel allowed to come back in his own home? Or      the place he called home before being cast out, just like Hel, Fenrir,      and Jormungandr? My ‘three goddamn children’, as you’d called      them?” Loki said through the soaked wood. “If I hadn’t been fair to      my stars, the way you treated them without meeting a single one      was injurious. I am willing to mend damages, but only if you will      make an effort to do the same. They wouldn’t have liked this. I don’t.”

[sigxn-blog]

As soon as the asgardian heard his voice, she ran to the door, standing behind it before opening so she could hear his words. He was upset, and she understood it; everything had been her fault but she was willing to do EVERYTHING that was in her hands to gain her husband´s trust and love.

She opened the door slowly and raised her gaze to the tall man. Jeez, if they weren´t in bad terms, she´d kiss him for all the time he´s been away from her. But she knew that if she did that, she´d get nothing but rejection.

        “ Come in ” she said, before closing the door as soon as he walked inside.

Their kids were still sleeping in one of the hammocks they had at home, and even they didn´t wake up in the middle of the night, Sigyn didn´t sleep either. She actually hasn´t been sleeping since Loki left. It was notorious, for her dark eye bags, the pallor and the red and swollen eyes that showed she had also been crying.

Before sitting next to Loki, she moved the hammock where her babies were sleeping so they wouldn´t wake up yet. But once she finished, she speaked.

          “ We all make mistakes Loki, and mine was a huge one. However, we both know that I never stopped loving you, not even for a second, even knowing about your mischievous acts; you should have told me about them so I didn´t find it out in other ways, and since the most common way to have children is with another partner, that was the first probability that came to my mind. Do not blame me for that. But Yes,  I refered in the worst way to your children, and now knowing what happened exactly and knowing how much they suffered, I love them as my own and I´m willing to meet them too. 

           I don´t know if you want to make this work again with me, but yes, I´m hundred percent sure I want this family with Hel, Fenrir, Jormundgander, and you. ”

After saying that, she sighed deeply and noticing she was about to cry, walked to the kitchen that wasn´t too far from there.

          “ I still have some food left. Would you want some? ”

[sviker-deactivated20220803]

sigxn‌:

The beautiful, but painful memory of day they both promised to be together until eternity came to her mind when Loki left, and stayed there since then.

She was the Goddess of Fidelity, her own nature made her love for Loki overcome anything, even his lies, mischief, his hostile nature. She loved him more than anyone in the nine realms after her children, and she had failed him. For the first time in centuries, Sigyn Iwaldidottir had been disloyal to her husband, believing in rumors instead of hearing his side of the story; most people would say she had all the right to do it since this isn’t the first time Loki hides something from here, but… he had his reasons. The anger blinded her and her reaction was out of sadness and pain, but she never wanted him to really leave. She was hating herself more than anything in that moment.

But she wasn´t going to stay with arms crossed this time. 

After begging Heimdall to try his best to find Loki, and applying the knowledge her deceased mother-in-law left to her, she teleported herself to her husband´s whereabouts. Tears rambling down her tears could be seen as soon as she saw him sleeping on the ground. Sigyn promised herself, she would never hurt him, and there he was… broken because of her.

        “ D-darling… ” even she didn´t suffer from depression, she could feel the sadness drowning her into horrible thoughts of regret and pain. The princess knelt before him, combing his hair “ … Loki… please wake up. I´m… I´m terribly sorry… ”

    Loki winced in his sleep. Truthfully, he did not want to     open his eyes ever again, not to her disapproving stare.     There was nothing so crushing as watching the fire of     Sigyn’s love for him burn out to coal-black disgust. The     sensation of his hair being stroked roused him, though.     He stared back at her, incredulous.

    “Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it,” Loki argued, his      voice acidic and his glare like stone. “You could hand-      feed me lies like that for days and not manage to take      back a single word. You were so eager for an excuse      to betray me, that you accused me of cheating. As if      anyone else could stand to be around me! Worse, you      accused me of never loving children I love more than      myself. I thought such slander was below you. The way      you snarled at me makes me question whether anything      really is.”

    “Disparage me all you wish, but you will never come close      to finding me as revolting as I consider myself. And you      will never understand the pain of having your children ripped      from your arms only hours after their first breaths. But I’m      just a disgusting monster, devoid of all feeling, aren’t I?”

[sigxn-blog]

       “ I know I don´t deserve your forgiveness. And... I´m very aware you will never talk to me again after the terrible mistake I made, but...  ”

She tried not to cry in that moment,  knowing Loki was going to reject her. She just decided to talk and then... cry in her loneliness once she is home again. However she couldn´t avoid her voice to sound broken.

      “ You are not a monster, you are my angel, you are Narfi and Vali´s angel,  the one I hurted and now... the only monster here, is me. 

         I don´t blame you if you don´t want to talk, or see me ever again in your life. When I feel the loyalty people promised me is broken, I lose my cool, and that is the biggest flaw I have; I should have listened to you first than believing people´s filthy rumors. After my children, you are the person I love the most in this universe, you will never understand how much I love you and... and how terribly sorry I am for hurting you.

      ... You have all the right to leave me, I won´t force you to stay if it doesn´t make you happy to be by my side anymore, even the only thing I want is to be with you until our souls are long gone. But I failed, I broke that promise... by assuming things that were not correct.”

Her heart was shattered already, and once she felt tears rambling down her cheeks, she turned to the other side. She couldn´t hold it anymore and cried, hiding her face from him out of shame.

       “ ... I love you, I... I adore you, my love. But It´s... it´s your decision to come back to me... if I was you, I would hate me too. ”