Idle Liar of Neither Gender

Tags: Dreaming the City, Legend of the Red Barracuda, Steven Universe, Photography. Top 99% on Tumblr. Ask me anything except for my hand in marriage. Clams do not have hands.

[calebs-hangout-corner]

I love Dorzma because you could either have a 100 year slowest-burn in the history of ever or have them be married for 100 years.

Maybe even both.

[siliquasquama]

L. Frank Baum has Ozma and Dorothy falling in love at first sight, from a distance. One would think they are the two people least capable of a Slow Burn Romance in the entire history of Oz.

On the other hand, it would be hilarious if they spend a hundred years utterly failing to clarify their relationship, and one day Ozma is like "Do you think I should ask Dorothy to go out with me" and Glinda is like "The magic book says you've been married for a century."

[calebs-hangout-corner]

You. You understand.

Also side note Ozma taking the trip to Glinda's JUST to ask her if she should ask out Dorothy is incredibly funny to me.

[siliquasquama]

Ozma would be like "I invited you into my private chambers, it's an ancient Ozian custom of de-facto marriage" and Dorothy would be like "No, sorry, we are making this formal, I want a real wedding, in June, with cake"

[calebs-hangout-corner]

Cue Ozma trying to figure out how an official formal real wedding works and how to host one that would satisfy her wife and really get the point across after she failed to communicate their relationship status to her

Ozma: Is anyone in this castle qualified to officiate a wedding?

Shaggy: I thought you'd never ask.

Ozma: How many layers does the cake need? A dozen? 36?? 100???

Scarecrow: I think you're overthinking all of this.

Ozma: No, YOU'RE underthinking all of this.

Trot: Am I allowed to get you gifts again?

Ozma: No.

Trot: IT'S BEEN A CENTURY!

[siliquasquama]

Shaggy: We're going to need a cake with a thousand layers.

Betsy: That would go up as high as Ozma's bedroom tower. You'd need to make the base as wide as the main courtyard. Who exactly would eat that much cake?

Ozma: We are inviting the entire kingdom to this event, you realize.

Betsy: As an apology to your wife-slash-fiancee?

Ozma: As per her insistence. She wants to make sure that every single person in the entire kingdom sees us wed, with their own eyes, no confusion this time.

Shaggy Man: Two thousand layers. They'll be able to see it from miles away.

[calebs-hangout-corner]

They shall see the cake all the way across the Deadly Desert in the Kingdom of Ev.

Button Bright: Hey we heard there's a wedding.

Ojo: We came to help.

Betsy: That's not even public information yet how did you--

Ozma: Can you bake?

Ojo: Uh...

Ozma: Good enough, join the baker army in the courtyard.

Button Bright: The what?

Also betcha Dorothy's out getting a nice outfit with the guys.

[siliquasquama]

Dorothy: I don't think I've ever seen a tuxedo before, Mr. Wizard, but this one looks nice.

The Wizard: Oh, yes, checkered tuxedos are all the rage. Or at least they were the last time I checked.

Nick Chopper: When was that?

The Wizard: Oh, it was...well never mind anyway, that's not important.

[muppetshow2026]

i genuinely feel like im being edged

[siliquasquama]

He's really most sincerely dead

[majchic]

[siliquasquama]

My forehead is on the desk

[velvetys]

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second

[grimeclown]

The notes on this post were so toxic that staff just axed em

[abraxasrinbalt]

1969.........

[harperhug]

Yes, when the original post is deleted from the server (not just the blog, but the Tumblr servers), there is no root post for notes to be added onto, and also no root post for time to be counted from, so it starts from zero. Most computer operating systems use Unix, which was launched in 1971 with t.he epoch date of midnight on January 1, 1970 as 1. Therefore zero is one second behind that date: December 31, 1969. Also, very unfortunately, this also means nobody except you and anyone you reblog it to will see this explanation, as you cannot open the notes to see comments when there are no notes.

[ti0mumu]

[nick-nonya]

Tumblr is truly one of the webbed sites ever

[solnight99]

ohmg

[aroace-ryland-grace]

[thegreatlazule]

post's haunted.

[becks-beast]

​I love these broken ass posts shambling around the timeline like zombies in a derelict shopping mall

[siliquasquama]

Wow! It says "Be the first to reblog"! Investing at 1 note!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I’ll never forget the fanfic space on wattpad back in 2016-2017’ish where its culture was that writers would not post their new chapters until they reached x amount of votes (kudos) and comments. I mean I’d never judge anyone for how they chose to update their fics even though I didn’t agree with them. but like. it was the entire wattpad fanfic culture back then that made most writers believe they had to set these specific numbers of votes and comments that they must reach first before they posted the next chapters. so if you were on the fanfic corner of wattpad during that time, you’d most likely have seen fics where it said in the chapter something like “50 votes and 20 comments for the next chapter!” and it was literally the norm and so normalized that I didn’t see anything weird about it back then. but looking back, years after I’ve left wattpad for ao3, yeah that culture as a whole was weird and it shaped writers into thinking that they wrote for the sake of shallow engagement instead for the joy of getting to create, it shaped writers into thinking that their fics’ worth was decided and dictated by strangers’ approval. and then tiktok became a thing and this mindset continued. not to mention how wattpad is full of ads now unless you pay the site monthly for a premium, ad-free service.

so like. man, this is why I love ao3. there’s none of these capitalism or algorithm bullshit on ao3. just writers creating out of love and passion. everybody say thank you ao3

[raebiis]

I'll never forget on fanfiction.net that some writers would make you donate money for them (usually to reach a set goal) to continue writing their work after a certain point lol. It was brutal bc I had a fav author, whose username I still remember to this day (despite not being on the site in over a decade) that seemed to be present in all of my fav fandoms at the time. And she was genuinely awesome at what she did, I could easily see her becoming a published author. But man. I really just wanted to read one of her finished works. I might have even given into donating, had I been old enough to have a job.

Thankfully I wasn't. I can imagine how much money I would have blown through.

[siliquasquama]

You guys are getting comments?

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

"are you gonna take those pills the rest of your life?" you mean my molecules? why surely you wouldn't deprive me of my molecules. they are shaped exactly just so, you see. my molecules

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

do you know how hard someone had to work to make my molecules into their molecule shapes??

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

they invented a new shape of molecule just for me and you want me to what, not absorb it???

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

reblog to remind somebody about their molecules

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

people who shape molecules at their jobs found this post and they're in the notes being happy to be appreciated. go take your fucking molecules

[siliquasquama]

Did OP get nuked by the mods

[hempkitty]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

[gremlin-pattie]

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

[argumate]

Trump blows up the ‘best and most important deal ever made’

Donald Trump has decided a trade deal he made with America’s neighbours is now “bad” and “unfair”. Everyone involved is set to lose.

despite running trade surpluses with the US, both Mexico and Canada have been running trade deficits for most of the 2020s, they contribute more to global demand than to supply, they are not the problem here and levying tariffs against them is punishing good behaviour.

[siliquasquama]

Trump will blow up anyone's deal. He'll blow up your deal. He'll blow up your dog's deal. He'll blow up his own deal.

[siliquasquama]

But look, my friends -- if the government wants you dead, you might as well make every month Pride Month.

[argumate]

I think the reflective pool should contain giant salamanders

[cipheramnesia]

I think it should release giant salamanders

[argumate]

[siliquasquama]

They look like they're about to bend Hell

[macabro]

In his own ship, mind you.

[siliquasquama]

[tobermoriansass]

good evening everyone PLEASE look at this incredible deck which has left the words "goose value? 0" irrevocably seared into my mind.

[notbecauseofvictories]

it's been a full 24 hours and I'm still thinking about this image. I think my favorite part is "internal mechanism" as though that sheds absolutely any light on why there is a manufacturing plant inside a goose.

[siliquasquama]

It makes perfect sense though. AI moguls trying to scrap the human workforce are killing the golden goose.

[acolytics]

never let it be said i dont treat my miis right

[gaycop]

tiramisu

[siliquasquama]

Tiramiisu

[twoblogger]

My extremely controversial gaming opinion is that they should allow you to obtain meat in stardew valley and while I understand that the vast majority of people might not want to play with it I also think somewhat that the absence of any such mechanics in a farming simulator is a sign of broader disconnection and alienation from where food comes from etc

[twoblogger]

>’Farming’ game

>Unable to raise animals for meat because that’s not ‘cosy’ enough

>Where do you think meat comes from in real life

[siliquasquama]

From hunting duh

[metanarrates]

inexplicability/unknowability in art is not often understood as an intentional artistic decision, let alone respected as one. I'd almost call it entitlement on the part of audience, but it's not even that, really. it's a complete inability to ask - was this ever meant to be understood in full? is there a reason why it wouldn't be? is it uncomfortable to think about? maybe it is supposed to be uncomfortable to think about.

[metanarrates]

there is a discomfort often present when you don't understand everything about a piece of art and i feel like many audiences are eager to smooth it over & fill in the gaps with their own understanding so they don't feel uncertain about it. but sitting with that discomfort is so important to interpreting art! even with works that DON'T have an intentional sense of preserving mystery, you just aren't going to understand a piece of art 100% even if you want to. figure out why you don't understand it. think on it. let that sense inform part of the art for you. it will give you a much more rounded approach to media criticism!

[siliquasquama]

What I have to remind myself when I open up Finnegan's Wake

[apricops]

The year is 1492. You are the Catholic Monarchs - both of them. Isabel and Fernando, tanto monta, monta tanto. You have just finished kicking all of the Muslim powers out of Iberia, and you’re feeling so pleased with yourselves that you expel the Jews about it. You have a problem, though - there’s this annoying Genoese moron named Christopher Columbus who keeps waving some bad math at you, insisting that the world is actually smaller than everyone thinks it is and he could totally sail to India by going west. He gets on your nerves so much that you just give him a couple of ships and send him off. He definitely won’t make it to India, but maybe he’ll find some little island and give all of your newly-unemployed hidalgos something to keep them busy. He’ll probably just starve to death in the middle of the ocean, and then he’s no longer your problem.

The year is 1519, and you are Hernán Cortés. You and all of your compatriots are stuck in the most effective way to make someone a bad person: put them in a situation where they must become incredibly wealthy and powerful incredibly fast or else they will die horribly. Transatlantic voyages are absurdly expensive. Anyone in the ‘New World’ who isn’t rich enough to afford their own army is deeply in debt, with no collateral but their own sword-arm. It is an environment that does not reward half-measures. It does not even reward full measures. It only rewards putting a brick on the gas pedal and crossing your fingers - if you kill one person then you’re a murderer, but if you kill hundreds of thousands of people then you're a paragon of glory and the Spanish crown will make statues of you.

The year is still 1519 and you are Moctezuma II, Huēyi Tlahtoāni (great ruler) of the ‘Aztec Empire,’ also known as the Triple Alliance, or the Mexica. You know a thing or two about half-measures not being rewarded, because you are in a process of rapidly expanding and consolidating a nascent Mesoamerican empire. You are quite good at your job - even before you ascended to the throne, you cultivated a reputation as a skilled warrior, a dedicated student, and a devout worshiper. Your name means something like ‘lord who frowns in anger.’ It’s a fitting name, because the process of ‘imperial expansion and consolidation’ generally involves killing lots of people. To make matters worse, some weird hairy white guys showed up out of nowhere and they keep demanding an audience with you. You try every trick in the diplomatic handbook - deferment, threats, flattery, bribes - but everything you do just seems to make them more single-mindedly focused on your destruction. Later, after you are dead, they will claim that you thought they were gods.

The year is 1545, and this whole ‘colonialism’ thing is starting to peter out. Trans-Atlantic voyages are still ruinously expensive, and the pickings are getting slimmer every day - it’s not like you can go loot Tenochtitlan a second time. You’re starting to wonder if it’s time for everyone to pack up, go home, and forget about… holy shit is that a mountain of silver? Is that an honest-to-god mountain with more silver in it than every other existing silver mine on the face of the earth combined? Yes. Some call it Potosí. Many will call it “the mountain that eats men.” In a single moment, colonialism goes from a plundering campaign for recently-unemployed soldiers to a permanent institution. The alchemists back in Prague and Vienna never learned how to turn lead into gold, but the mercenaries and taskmasters in Potosí found a much simpler equation to turn blood into silver.

The year is 1571, and the economy of the Ming dynasty doesn’t feel so good. Their experiment with paper money was a failure, to put it gently. The experiment with paper money failed horribly. It turns out when you try to have paper currency but you don’t have sophisticated counterfeit protections and there’s also a booming cottage industry of people making paper in their cottages, well, you can guess how that ends. So you’re trying to shift to a silver economy. But then you run into an even bigger problem: you don’t have enough silver. So if you start demanding taxes in silver, the price of silver will skyrocket, which means taxes will skyrocket when the economy is already ailing from the whole ‘paper money’ thing. Some hapless scholar-official in Guangdong is nervously watching a peasant sharpen his pitchfork when he gets word from a messenger: some gweilo just showed up at the part with literal shipfuls of silver and they want to buy silk, tea, spices, and porcelain at outrageous markups.

Within living memory, the world was still ‘medieval’ in many ways - slow, parochial, zero-sum, carefully arbitrated by tradition and precedent. Legible. And now Spanish sailors take Bolivian silver on ships guarded by West African mercenaries and Japanese ronin, sailing to their colony in the Philippines to rub shoulders with Chinese officials, Indian sultans, and Malay merchants. All because some dipshit from Genoa got his math wrong and wouldn’t shut up about it.

The moral of this story is that I’m going insane.

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Good evening. Won't you come in? *sound of a heavy wooden door creaking open* It's so cold tonight... and the wolves are out.... *a piercing howl in the distance*

Have a seat. Over there, by the fire... *sound of a cauldron bubbling* Don't mind the footsteps. That's just Boris. *slow, approaching thumps from overhead* Feel free to play some of my retro video games. *loud, kawaii chiptune music plays over the explosion of eight bit spaceships* Or perhaps you'd prefer to listen to the Woman Downstairs playing the pipe organ. *tries to turn down the video game music so you can hear the organ, but I only make it louder* Blast. I'm sure it was AUX 3... *switches to an underwater level of a different video game, which also gets louder as I try to switch back* Shoot, I really can't figure it out... *the underwater level theme plays, loud enough to be physically uncomfortable* Well, at least it's nice ambience. What are you doing out so- I said, what are you doing out so late? So LATE! LATE!!