Certified Rob Fan @simpforshrimp - Tumblr Blog

If you ever need back lessons, ask the toothbrush

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#aaaaaa

I buy tomato soup and protein for noooo reasonnnn

My hair is bald

#bald #hair

My name is guillotine and my eyes are very cool

#guillotine #eyes

Bri'ish (derogatory)

Fighting for my life in the bathroom while "Scatman" plays faintly in the distance

#help #death by spicy ramen #it hurts #pain #scatman #seriously tho call 911

If a toaster wanted to end it's life, would it take a bath with a human?

#toaster #dennys #i really don't know how to use tags #im just hoping someone will find this #cuz I need my questions answered

Me: *Getting ready for bed* Alexa, play thunderstorm noises from Spotify

*Alexa blares a single soundwave that instantly kills me and anything else in a ten foot vicinity*

(based on true events)

Juke squid pancake flan

Thinking about the last time I tried to watch Lady and the Tramp and when the pound scene came on I started sobbing uncontrollably and my poor brother and cousin were so confused as on what to do with me and it was all because I was too moved by depressed animated dogs

#they kept handing me stuff #and offering various types of food #they eventually just turned off the movie #and I never finished it

Bagels are to donuts what muffins are to cupcakes

The imposter is sus. I literally have a broken leg. Not cool.

#crappost #this is about a fanfiction #but I'm gonna be really vague about it

There's a wall outside of the window. On the wall there is a wooden hanging sign. It has a large "P" on it. You are being watched.

#crap post #watching you

If Roxy is short for Roxanne does that mean Foxy is short for Foxanne

#fnaf #security breach #fnaf security breach #foxy the pirate #roxanne wolf #funny

My brother just found out last night that "man car door hook hand gun" is not the real lyrics to YMCA

#exsistential crisis #question life #brother #ymca

ghostinacan

hi i just saw the new mha movie and all i have to say is

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