As a (successful) real estate investor for nearly half a century, it became necessary for me to learn how to communicate effectively with buyers and sellers. To that end, I spent mega-hours studying the effects of various techniques. And I have come up with a method that works every time - not only with buyers and sellers, but it also helps me be more persuasive with associates, friends and family members. In other words, effective communication can enhance any relationship in your everyday life. More importantly, it can make you more persuasive. Here's how...
From the day you are born your brain starts taking in input, which becomes the basis of everything you know and everything you ultimately believe. When you touch something, your brain remembers the feel - whether cold, warm, textured etc. When you hear something, your brain processes that. Same with all the senses - sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Whatever you experience in the real world is inputted by one or more of the senses and helps create the person you are. They are the "sensory inputs."
This is important because it lays the foundation for how you will communicate your thoughts, feelings, ideas and beliefs. For example, a deaf person cannot have sensory input from hearing, so he cannot communicate on that level - how can he describe, for example, what a bell sounds like?
Now understand that every one of us has a primary sensory input, and secondary ones. If as a baby, then a child you depended more upon your eyes for input than on any other of the senses, you will be sight-oriented in how you view the world and those around you. If, on the other hand you are visually impaired, sight would not likely be your primary source of input. Instead, you might depend more upon hearing, or touch, or any combination of the other senses. But you will depend more on one sense than on any other.
What this means: if you are sight oriented, you will communicate more effectively with other sight-oriented people. And it is likely you will have a more difficult time communicating effectively with someone who is, say, touch oriented (extreme example would be a blind person). As you might expect, if you want to communicate with a blind person you would try to "step into their shoes" and communicate as if you, too, were blind. You would not use phrases like, "Do you see what I mean?" Rather, you would say, "Can you feel my frustration?"
So here's the tip: before getting too involved in communicating with someone you wish to have listen to you, do three things
LOOK at the person and check for obvious limiting "sensor" factors. Do they where strong glasses? A hearing aid? If so, those things are clues that they do not depend primarily on that sense for input
Start a casual conversation designed to get them to express their primary input factor. People are more likely to use words that define their primary sensory input. Words like "see", "feel", "smell". For example, where a hearing-oriented person might say, "it sounds fishy to me", a smell-oriented person might expess the same thought by saying, "It smells fishy to me." See the difference? A small difference, to be sure, but the phrasing and words you use will affect the perception of the listener. If you are not "talking their language", they are less apt to pay attention, and almost certainly not be persuaded.
And in your every day life it is crucial to communicate effectively. A sight oriented homebuyer is more likely to buy if the seller can show the buyer the view, color scheme, beautiful garden etc. If hearing oriented, the seller could point out all the songbirds that populate the property, or the babbling brook on a warm summer eve.
So, the next time you notice that someone in your circle listens intently to someone else, but not so much with you, pay attention to the words being used. It may be that you simply have chosen to ignore how the other person prefers to input data. If hearing oriented, he might prefer the spoken word. If sight oriented, he might well prefer to see images, like grahhs, charts, a product - whatever.
Try it. You may be surprised at how persuasive you suddenly become.
