Apple Juice: #1 Rockyfucker

Current Obsession(s): The Life Series, Hermitcraft, Percy Jackson, Project Hail Mary

[cntrlaltdelete-what]

[myfacereallyaches]

The Project Hail Mary fandom is already turning into a prison due to the fact that a handful of the people in it lack the understanding of nuance.

"Grace good, Stratt bad" or "Grace selfish, Stratt good" is something I'm seeing a lot of. Why are people so obsessed with putting everything in either the black or white category when the majority of things in life are all different shades of grey?

A lot of people's perceptions of Stratt boils down to proof that she is, in fact, the scapegoat. Grace made it abundantly clear that he knew that he was a coward for not wanting to go on the ship, yet Stratt ensured that he would only ever be remembered as a hero, implying that she understood that it's normal to panic and fight back when a suicide mission is thrust upon you, and how easy it would be for outsiders to take offense to him fighting back and not wanting to go.

Hence why she resigns herself as the punching bag. While it's like preaching to a choir that Grace was a sacrifice, it's very important to understand that Stratt was also a sacrifice, in the way that the rest of her life will be filled with heavy scrutiny and ostracism, which some might deem a fate worse than death. The blood is on her hands so that it doesn't have to be on anyone else's. She took a few lives for the sake of billions. You know, like, the trolley problem.

Due to her initiative, billions of lives will be saved, but she will likely only ever be known as a violent, evil, manipulative woman who treated her peers like they were at her disposal. At the same time, the crew will be commemorated for their bravery, including Grace, who, unbeknownst to practically everyone, threatened to thwart the mission.

And on the total opposite side of the spectrum, Grace is being woobified because of the combination of being a victim, relatively agreed upon to be aroace, and implied to abstain from swearing, causing Stratt to catch strays in turn. He is not a "poor baby", he is a grownass man with imposter syndrome who could not for the life of him sustain a relationship due to both suffocating societal norms and his tendency to build up walls.

Two things can be true at once; Grace was sent on a suicide mission against his will which would constitute as murder, and Stratt was a good person doing horrible things for the greater good longterm.

[lucky0rchid]

DONT FLOP

rocky stuff !! he’s based off of my dakota professor...

[sinfullycitrus]

cringe vent slop I woke up at 3am to write and felt the need to put somewhere don't read this

I love you. I'm head over heels for you. I want you in a way I've never wanted anyone before. And I want you to want me so badly it’s ripping a hole in my chest.

A gaping, gnawing emptiness inside of me, in the shape of what we had. Of what I ruined, of what I destroyed. And I didn't even realize I'd lost it until it was too late. I didn't realize I'd lost you until it was too late.

I was sitting there, waiting, hoping, believing a well-meaning lie that shattered me. Believing it wasn't the end. That it wasn't my fault. By the time I found the truth, it was far beyond salvation.

I'm still hurt. I was stupid to have believed it, but it still hurts that you lied. That you left me hoping for months for what you knew you didn't want. You knew it wouldn't go back to what it was, but you let me believe it might.

I don’t think I told you how badly the truth shattered me. Maybe you thought I'd moved on. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I don’t blame you for it at all.

I still want you. I don't know if I'll ever stop. I doubt you feel the same. I know it’s delusion when I read too far into every word. Every heartfelt word. Every meaningful compliment. Every pet name I'm too afraid to reciprocate.

I want you. I want to be close with you. I want to be yours, and I want you to want that too. I miss when we’d call so often. I miss seeing your face when we talked. I miss watching you smile and laugh. I miss when you’d come to me to talk. And I hate myself for ruining that.

Maybe you never felt close to me the way I felt close to you. I wouldn't blame you for that. It’s so, so hard for me to open up. Maybe you stopped because I never talked to you the way you talked to me. Maybe you don’t know me the way I know you. Maybe that’s why you don’t want me anymore.

I'm sorry for it all. For being so impassive, so apathetic. For hiding myself from you. I don't want to burden you with my emotions, because they’re exhausting and taxing and the thought of putting you through that is painful.

But I'd do it if it would help. If it would make you comfortable around me again.

I don’t want you to read this. I don’t want you to feel guilty. I love you. I want the best for you, and I know I'm not the best. More than anything, I want you to find the life that makes you happiest, even if it's not one with me.

[ahllohehn]

life series winners

[sinfullycitrus]

ough you hit me right in the autism

[howl-arnon]

Is it strange I find your Hades almost comforting? Like if he was the ruler of the afterlife I'd feel almost at peace with staying in that realm. He's got that "my realm is secure" vibe going on.

“ You find solace... in death? ”

You guys need to stop asking for fucking Hades, I put off drawing him because he's the most difficult to draw, BUT ALL MY INBOX IS HADES HADES HADES, I DRAW HIM NOT MORE THAN FIVE TIMES HOW THE FUCK DOES HE HAS SO MANY FANGIRLS.

[lucky0rchid]

thirty min doodles (i don’t like them very much)

[kojitheopossum]

[Prologue] [Ch1] [Ch2] [Ch3] [Ch4] [Ch5] [Ch6] [Ch???]

bdubs teaches etho something new (non-condescending this time) + a peak into ethos life! bit of a slower chapter but i wanted to show they’re starting to get along <3

Hahahahahha….. remember how i said this one should be out quicker well sorry for lying. The good news is my winter breaks starting so i’ll have a ton of free time, also next chapter i’m sooo so looking forward to

[mezzmerizd]

DISCOTEK...

[ashyrrhei]

Sitting here, thinking about how Scott outlived Cleo and Pearl in Last Life and this time they outlived him.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

All Lifers’ average placements as of Wild Life

(excluding Real Life, values rounded to 1 dp)

1. Pearl - 3.2 (=)

2. Scott - 5 (+1)

3. Grian - 5.7 (+3)

4. Gem - 6 (-2)

4. Ren - 6 (+4)

6. Martyn - 6.7 (-2)

7. Joel - 6.8 (+4)

8. Impulse - 7.3 (-1)

8. Scar - 7.3 (-3)

10. Bdubs - 7.5 (-1)

11. Cleo - 7.7 (+2)

12. Etho - 8 (-2)

13. Bigb - 9.5 (-1)

14. Tango - 10.3 (=)

15. Skizz - 14 (=)

16. Lizzie - 14.3 (+1)

17. Jimmy - 14.5 (-1)

18. Mumbo - 16.3 (=)

notes + spreadsheet under the cut

i’m not even going to bother being neutral, pearl is the undisputed goat of the life series. it’s actually insane how good she is at this

gem’s average suffers quite a bit from WL, which is unfortunate, but it’s still only a sample size of 2

the spreadsheet isn’t in order - it’s in the order of their avg placements after SL, because i inputted them in that way

the biggest jumps are joel, who pulled off a stunning win, and ren, who achieved a decent third place after two seasons of absence

[mxmarsbars]

totally real and canon whitecastle conversation in limbo (ll!etho’s burn scars and post-wl!impulse’s explosion scars mirror each other) (crumbs)

[fairymousse]

Every Life series winner has some form of narrative catharsis ultimately.

Grian and Scar’s wins are both tragedies, the first a personal tragedy, the second a tragedy of circumstance.

Martyn’s win is shocking, violent and remorseless, reframing his entire relationship with Scott, as just a means to an end.

Cleo is an underdog story, winning through caution and careful strategy in a short amount of time. People can write off Real Life, but it is undisputed that Cleo is a winner, and she was sharp enough to let others fight for her.

Joel’s victory is the one that feels most like winning a game, cheered on by the dead, an even match. Wild Life felt the most like a game than the others. There were rules, and there was Chaos, and Joel was there at the Eye of the Storm.

Scott’s win feels like a reward for a game well played, a moral, loyal win for the Boogey who didn’t kill.

But the reason the Double Life is still my favourite is that Pearl’s win delivers justice. Her confident dispatch of bdubs and impulse feels earned after how rough it had been for her, and the death of Cleo and Martyn even more so. Scott’s final sacrifice also has catharsis, of Pearl forgiving him.

I love the life series so much, all of these wins are fantastic.

Also, my Watcher Lizzie AU is about to go crazy

[dayz72]

Poseidon: See you messed with my son and now I am going to FUCK YOU!!!

Odysseus: …

Hermes: Well this just got interesting!

The cyclops: It’s fuck you up dad…

Poseidon: Wait what did I say?

[vampkaru]

Hermes in Dangerous reminds me of Ren during 3rd life trying to convince Martyn to make him a red name

[azzayofchaos]

Hey… hey? Anyone want a modern au where everything is pretty normal except the city’s postal system is run by Eldritch Demons through actual Hell? I’ve been insane about this one recently.

Close ups I like.

Ouppy… Etho is essentially a kitsune and I was informed that they’re traditionally considered seductresses and who am to deny the bit. It just happens his main pull is being a social anxious mess. Zedaph is a very okay and normal guy I promise.

This impulse portrait I am so happy about… Rendog and his rom com shit… BUG.

[freesiadotcom]

its tough being a single mum