Liam | he/him, they is fine too | queer | peso and barnacles glazer | follow my insta, lucky0rchid_ | 18 | current fix: octonauts, the mortuary assistant
∘₊✧ Summary: You watch a scary movie with Lars, and he takes big inspiration from your favorite character, who kinda reminds you of him.
∘₊✧ Author’s notes: Scream is an old comfort movie I know by heart and hadn't watched since before I fell in love with Lars. I rewatched it with my beloved @heresthestorymorningglory (thank you for your endless encouragement my love). As I was thinking, Dewey is such a cutie, she said he's like Lars if Lars was a cop. And well. Now we're in this predicament. Probably gonna write some straight up Dewey fics too!
Title from Dracula by Tame Impala which is on repeat and is kind of becoming a Dewey song for me!
∘₊✧ Warnings/content: nsfw, food, horror movies, role play (Lars as Deputy Dewey Riley from Scream), making out, fingering, creampie (if you think Lars would never pls come chat to me and I'll tell you why I think he would!!)
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You pull your legs up onto Lars’s bed, tucking your knees under your chin as you watch him potter in the kitchen, smiling to yourself as he carefully empties snacks into a bowl.
‘What are we watching tonight?’ you ask as he pulls open a bag of Skittles, spills a few on the floor and jumps back, startled by his own error.
‘Oh um… you can choose? Whatever you want,’ he smiles back, picking up the rogue Skittles.
‘In that case, would a scary movie be ok? I know that’s not your usual sort of thing,’ you say.
‘Sure. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.’ It’s a statement, not just a playful flirt. You see Lars’s shoulders lift, his chest broadening.
You try not to swoon at how adorable he is, clearing your throat to try and calm your voice before offering, ‘How about one of my old favorites?’
‘What did you have in mind?’ Lars crosses the little apartment and settles beside you, bowl on his lap.
You reach into your bag and pull out your old VHS tape of Scream. ‘I used to watch this thing on repeat,’ you grin. ‘Have you seen it?’
‘No.’ Lars looks a little unsure. ‘Is it really scary?’
‘Depends,’ you say, tilting your head as you consider him. ‘Not with my big strong boyfriend to protect me.’
Lars blushes crimson. ‘Oh… okay. Well yeah, then go ahead.’
You hop off the bed, cracking opening the VHS case. ‘If you don’t like it we could always… I don’t know. Make out instead?’
If Lars’s cheeks turn any redder he might actually pass out. He can’t think of any words in this state so he just closes his eyes tight instead and waits for the heat to pass. When he opens them, you’re all set up and ready to push play, settling back beside him.
‘Ready?’ you ask.
‘Ready.’
∘₊✧────────✧₊∘
You feel Lars jump a couple of times during the opening scene, when the phone rings a second time and when the boyfriend is revealed on the patio, but you glance across at his face and he’s completely glued.
By the time you’re into the main storyline, he’s much more relaxed and aside from rubbing at his eyes once when he learns the main protagonist lost her mom, he seems to be enjoying it.
You look over at him when your favorite character makes an entrance, noticing Lars’s lips pull up into a smile, which makes your heart soar. There’s something so special about sharing your interests with Lars, as if you can physically feel your bond strengthening every time you do, and this feels like one of those times.
He likes your comfort movie, he likes your favorite guy from the movie. He found your hand in the snack bowl and slipped his fingers between yours. What could be better than this?
When you pause the movie part way to go refill your drinks, you ask Lars what he thinks so far.
‘It’s kind of fun for a scary movie,’ he beams, ‘I’m glad you shared it with me. The cop seems cool.’
‘Dewey?’
‘Yeah. I like his moustache,’ he says, fingers tracing his own.
‘Well he is my favorite character. Maybe I have a thing for guys with cute mustaches,’ you laugh, not thinking too much about it.
But Lars feels heat creep up his neck. ‘Y-you think he’s handsome?’
You pause, thinking about it. ‘Well, he kinda reminds me of you. So, yeah. I’d say he’s handsome.’
Lars nods, thinking.
As the movie continues, Lars pays a little closer attention to you – more specifically to your reactions. He slides an arm around you and every time Dewey is on screen he secretly glances across. It doesn’t really give him any further guidance on your feelings toward your favorite character — that is, until there’s the scene involving a kiss.
Now, this kiss in particular involves Dewey, the character in question, landing on top of his love interest by accident and sharing a moment before leaning in. Certainly nothing unusual in the world of fictional movies.
But god the way he executes it… tentative, careful, maybe a little scared, and then after a tender couple of seconds he pulls away awkwardly because he’s on duty (and obviously kissing is definitely not allowed on duty), shutting his eyes tight and taking a moment out to breathe through it… its Lars.
Lars’s arm tightens around your waist a little and as you look up at him, he turns to you, searching your eyes. His lips graze yours, and without meaning to, you moan. Oops.
Lars doesn’t bat an eyelid, though, he just deepens the kiss until it’s too intense for him anymore and he pulls away, much like Dewey did, shutting his eyes, breathing hard to ground himself, leaving you panting, and your mind racing.
And you go on with the movie, making out just a little more before you leave for the night, Lars asking you to bring the second movie next time. You practically skip to your car.
Lars, however, sees you off and rushes to boot up his computer.
∘₊✧────────✧₊∘
He’s busy editing a letter at work when the phone on his desk rings and startled him from his focus.
His brow furrows before he picks it up, a little cautious. He doesn’t receive many calls, and when he does it’s usually Karin.
‘Hello?’
No surprise at all, Karen’s cheery voice greets him. ‘Hi Lars! There’s a parcel for you, they left it on your doorstep.’
‘Oh… okay. Thanks, Karin.’
‘You want me to bring it inside?’
‘No, that’s okay. I won’t be home late.’
‘Are you having a movie date tonight?’
Lars takes a moment to think this through. You haven’t actually planned anything for tonight, but he hopes you’ll come over. He’s going to call you as soon as Karin’s off the phone. But he’s not inviting you over for a movie… not technically. He grits his teeth in preparation to tell his small but necessary lie.
‘... Yeah. I just gotta check in first to make sure.’
‘Okay, if you need anything just-’
‘Thanks, Karin, I will,’ Lars interrupts, impatient to get her off the phone and call you.
‘Alright, well, see you tonight!’
‘Bye, Karin,’ Lars forces a smile, as if Karin will be able to hear it, then hangs up the receiver.
He drops his head for a moment, composing himself. Was he sure he wanted to go through with this? What if you hated it, thought it was stupid?
He focuses on his breathing, the way Dagmar told him to breathe when he feels panic rising through his chest.
Simply calling you wouldn’t harm. He could test the waters. See if you’re free first. One thing at a time.
And if you do come over, and you didn’t like what he has planned, he will just apologise and send the parcel back. No harm done.
With one last, slow, deep breath, he picks up the receiver again and dials your number.
∘₊✧────────✧₊∘
Lars’s car screeches to a halt outside his apartment, the gravel crunching desperately under his boots as he slams the driver door shut and runs to the door, clumsily picking up the box left on his step and locking himself inside as quick as he can to avoid any potential questions from Karin.
Although she’s been much more relaxed about approaching him since you’ve been in his life, she’s still a little… nosey. And he really doesn’t want to have to explain this one to her.
He leans back against the closed door, pulling his woolly hat off and pushing back his hair as he tries to catch his breath, considering the box in his hands.
He slips off his coat, drops the package onto his neatly made bed, and takes the quickest shower of his life.
Standing in front of his steamed up bathroom mirror, he brushes his teeth, combs his hair to perfection, and checks his mustache is as well groomed as the rest of him.
He steps out of the bathroom flushed pink with a towel around his waist, and glances at the clock behind his bed. It tells him you’ll be arriving in fifteen minutes. It’s time to open the parcel and rehearse in front of the mirror.
∘₊✧────────✧₊∘
When you pull up at the end of the driveway, you notice the light flooding from Lars’s apartment; the door is open. And there’s someone leaning against it.
Stepping out to see what’s going on, your heart pounds as you recognise the uniform, speeding up as you wonder what could be wrong.
As the officer standing at the door comes into clear view, you stop dead in your tracks.
Lars isn’t here.
It’s Deputy Dewey Riley who greets you at the door, casually licking at a strawberry ice cream. His costume is practically perfect, shiny Deputy badge, the belt, the hat – right down to the white undershirt, which you think Lars might have worn regardless.
‘Dewey?’ you breathe, heart pounding once again but for a different reason this time.
‘Deputy Riley,’ Lars nods, fingers grazing the brim of his hat before he takes another lick. ‘I’m on duty tonight.’
He’s so in character you have to bite your lips together – what he’s doing is adorable, and god he looks so hot.
You step toward him, eyes dragging over his uniform, and almost bite clean through your lip.
‘That’s a shame,’ your voice is low as you lean in closer, breath hot against his ear. ‘If you’re on duty, I suppose it means I can’t do this-’
You ghost your lips at his jaw, feeling the way it clenches, then press your body further into his, your palms gliding over the front of his shirt to stop at his waist as you leave wet kisses down his neck.
A small whine makes its way from between his lips as he feels his trousers tightening and his hands ball into fists. He wasn’t expecting you to like it this much but oh, he’s so glad you do.
Holding his eyes, you slowly help yourself to a long lick of his ice cream before stepping backwards further into the apartment, leaving Lars panting against the open door, wanting more but trying so hard not to break character.
‘Sorry, Deputy. I know you’re on duty, but you’re so handsome, I just got carried away.’
The blush returns to Lars’s cheeks, along with a small but genuine smile that naturally resembles the deputy’s expressions. He swallows hard to try and keep composure, only adding to how like Dewey he can be.
Lars tries to clear his mind, thinking up another line as he closes and locks the door, then closes the drapes, taking a cursory glance out of the window first for good measure.
‘I’ve cleared the building. You’re safe here tonight,’ he says, turning back to you with a serious brow, dripping the end of his ice cream in the trash
‘Then I can get undressed for bed?’ you ask silkily, dropping your voice as you add, ‘Will you be keeping watch, Deputy?’
Lars sucks in a deep breath and nods, thinking through all the other lines he’d been rehearsing since you watched the movie last week. ‘Of course. I’m here to keep you out of harm.’
‘Deputy Riley, I know there’s a killer on the loose. Am I in danger?’ You hold his eye contact as you slip off your jacket and hang it on the chair.
‘I’m the deputy of this town,’ Lars says, as close to Dewey’s line as he could manage, which is incredibly sexy of him, and then, ‘You’re not scared are you?’
The scene from the movie flashes behind your eyes; Dewey holding up a torch like he’s telling a scary campfire story and Gale, his love interest, answering with a firm but playful ‘No.’
But you’re not playing Gale. You’re entirely you, and by whatever twist of fate you have Deputy Dewey Riley, your favorite character, all to yourself. So. Are you scared?
‘A little,’ you finally answer, moving to sit on the bed where you slip off your shoes, ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep knowing the killer’s out there…’
‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Lars asks, chest puffing out at how proud he is to keep this up for you.
‘Maybe. You could… stay here with me? You’re here to keep me safe, right, Deputy?’
‘Sheriff’s orders,’ he confirms with a very Dewey-like nod of the head and twitch of the eyebrows.
‘Well… I’d be totally okay with you joining me — as long as you don’t mind of course,’ you purr, leaning back onto the bed and stretching to show off your body.
‘Not at all,’ Lars half smiles, eyes filled with excitement at where this is going, and how surprisingly easy it’s all been.
He crosses to the bed and sits at the foot as you push yourself back up and lift off your shirt.
‘You alright, Deputy?’ you coax, placing a soothing hand on his thigh — but it’s a little too high for a deputy on duty, and you smirk, knowing it’s flustering him, in character or not.
‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ he breathes, glancing at you with a slight tilt of the head, Dewey’s body language memorised perfectly.
You pause to take it all in then. The way Lars is doing this for you completely unprompted, for your fun (and pleasure, you add), is so incredibly sweet (and hot) of him. Not to mention how fucking good he looks dressed up like this, his resemblance to your favorite character uncanny now he’s in the costume.
It doesn’t matter that his hair isn’t as dark, or his eyes aren’t as brown. His thick hair is slicked back in the same style as Dewey’s, as it so often is. And his eyes have the same nervous yet protective glint in them as Dewey’s, too, as they so often do. It’s somehow all so natural. And then there’s the mustache to top it off… mmh.
You bite your lips together as your gaze glides down to his lips, Lars leaning in tentatively before crashing his mouth to yours, pushing you down onto the bed and deepening the kiss for a split second once he’s on top of you — but then all too soon he breaks it to pull back, awkwardly turning his face away and shutting his eyes tight for a second.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks, turning back to you, his eyes searching your face.
You’re confused for a moment until you realise what he’s doing. He’s trying to play out Dewey’s first on screen kiss, the one that reminded you so much of kissing Lars your heart raced as you watched the scene together.
You nod, and a soft, ‘Yeah,’ escapes on your gentle sigh.
‘I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m on duty,’ he says sadly, eyes filled with disappointment. Lars is a surprisingly good actor.
‘I don’t care,’ you say quickly, real urgency blooming in your chest. ‘You’re here, you’re protecting me. That’s all you have to do right?’ You cup his cheek with a soft palm. ‘I want this, Dewey, please.’
‘It-’ he closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath, ‘It’s Deputy Riley while I’m on duty.’
Fuck this is hot. ‘I think I can manage that,’ you smile, pulling him back down to you by his shirt and slipping off his hat, letting it drop to the floor, ‘Deputy Riley.’
Lars pushes a hand between your bodies and clumsily unfastens his trousers, then hurriedly slips into yours, groaning when his fingers find your underwear completely soaked. He pushes them aside to slide a finger between your folds, the kiss heating up as he fucks you steadily on it.
You moan into his mouth, his thick finger filling you so perfectly, and he pulls back to get a look at you all flushed and needy for his touch.
‘Y-you’re so w-’ he falters before he can finish the sentence, and you clench around his finger wondering if Dewey would do the same.
Lars composes himself, channeling the deputy again. ‘I wouldn’t be doing my duty if I left you like this, now, would I?’
You rock your hips up into his palm and manage to mutter, ‘Deputy, please- I need-’
But he only fingers you faster, dipping his head to drag kisses over your throat, mustache scraping at your flesh so deliciously, sliding his slick coated finger out to massage your bundle of nerves briefly before switching to a relentless pace.
Your fingers find his hair, messing it up as you grab a fistful and hold on for dear life.
‘Deputy- D- Dewey, I’m gonna-’
He pulls his hand away then, pushes your pants and underwear down enough for you to kick them the rest of the way off, and rolls his hips between yours, filling you completely in one smooth thrust.
You cry out loud enough for Karin and Gus to hear from the house, but neither of you care, far too caught up in the moment.
Lars is breathless, grunting with each pant as he fucks into you desperately, hips snapping so fast he can barely find a rhythm. It’s fast and messy and it feels so good.
The bed creaks beneath you as you come undone together, your nails dragging over the back of his uniform, his fingertips kneading your hip while his other hand grips the shelves behind his bed for purchase and his seed spills with force inside you.
There’s a guttural breathy sputter of what you could swear was a ‘Fuck,’ if you didn’t know Lars better.
He drops on top of you, chest heaving as he tries to recover, and you rub at his back in soothing circles as you wait for your own breath to calm.
When he rolls off you, you laugh, giddy from the game, and snuggle into his side.
‘You still okay, Deputy?’ you ask playfully.
Lars nods, a little taken aback at how hot that all turned out.
‘That was so much fun. And incredibly sexy,’ you smile.
‘I’d hoped you’d like it,’ he says, a little shy, blushing again. ‘I hope I was enough like him.’
How anyone could feel shy after making you cum like that you aren’t sure, but Lars isn’t just anyone.
‘I loved it. You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?’ Your fingers toy absentmindedly with the badge on his shirt. ‘We absolutely have to watch your favorite movie soon so I can return the favor.’
Lars’s cheeks turn from a dusting of blush to beet red.
‘But let’s just enjoy the moment for now, huh?’ you add quickly, hoping not to raise his blood pressure any further. It might take a little more encouragement to get that kind of information out of him.
He nods again.
‘Did you bring the second movie?’ he asks nervously after a beat, absentmindedly fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.
‘I don’t know if I can handle any more hot guys with mustaches today,’ you laugh, ‘but yeah, it’s in my bag. Why, are you wanting to study for your next role, Dewey Riley from Scream 2?’
‘Is he hot in Scream 2?’ Lars asks, voice way too serious for such a question.
‘I’m afraid so,’ you nod. ‘He just gets hotter every movie.’
‘So I’ve got my work cut out for me,’ he says, thoughtful.
‘No, it comes to you naturally. Guys like you and Dewey… you’re good at this. You make people feel safe.’
Lars can’t hide the grin spreading over his face. He likes Dewey too, he thinks he’s fun, and he’s cool and tough but in a soft way that he finds comforting. Lars likes to think that if he existed in the Scream universe, Dewey would be his friend.
Most importantly though, Lars can see why you like Dewey, that’s obvious, but he isn’t always sure why you like him. But if you’re comparing him to Dewey that way? Well then… maybe it’s a bit easier to understand what you see in him after all.
Butterflies burst low in his stomach, and he turns to kiss you; as Lars this time.
‘Come on Deputy Lindstrom,’ you tease, smartening up his shirt and tucking him back into his trousers, leaving his hair because it’s always sexy when it gets messed up. ‘Let’s settle in for the night.’
‘Deputy Lindstrom?’ Lars asks with a furrowed brow.
‘You’re still in the costume.’
Lars just stares back at you.
‘Playing with Dewey was fun, but now I’ve had an orgasm big enough to last all year with him, all I wanna do is curl up with my boyfriend, Lars, and watch a movie. And maybe make out a little. And wear the deputy’s hat.’
Lars blinks a few times and looks away, lips pulling into another big smile.
Do we think that Kwazii teases Barnacles about the fact that he’s submissive despite being the captain?
I feel like Kwazii would pin Barnacles against the wall and just be like “really? You’re gonna let me do this to do? Not even going to try and show any authority? Some captain you are. You look more like a pretty cabin boy.” *said lovingly*
I forgot about my ask box I’m the worst I’m sorry
also….i don’t think barnacles is as submissive as kwazii thinks. kwazii doesn’t give him enough credit
Can I see your OCs, as many or as few as you feel like it. I'm feeling devious >:}
. . . .
Oldest designs ⬇️
Updated design thingies sorta ⬇️
Mountain isnt naked in that last one, I swear, I just didn't wanna draw clothes 😩 its a body reference okayyyy . . . If wtv your doing involves clothes you can just give him a big fur poncho and that'd be accurate 😭
I would've included Helen (Stag's wife) and Raincloude (Lucille's wife) but I sadly dont have any proper art of them on hand 😭💔
Definitely not excited and intrigued at all and super curious and also excited and everything and I totally am not all that 🥺🥺🥺 ouuuughhhh hwhwhwhww !!!!
I have waaayyyyy too many more but these are the most relevant ones and the most showed-to-blog TvT the rest you would've never heard of lol
areudirty
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
