“My Life as a Teenage Flower” @sinojikai - Tumblr Blog

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NYC based @tonyandthekiki were fantastic Saturday :) As were local acts @traipser_music, @padraicsjoy, and @geenetica! Whom no I did not take footage of, sadly… I don’t really like to take footage from shows. I am old-school that way, I like to let the show fill my senses. Though I do holler… The sentiment of the event was very on point. There are so many antitrans bills being proposed and passed, it’s disheartening, distressing, and exhausting. We need help out there. Thank you @e.daybackpresents for your poignant and true words spoken by @drea33333. Trans care is healthcare and we need to allow people means to access it. Moreover it is not a pierce of anyone’s heart to have it available, but it is a pierce of ours to take it away. I am curious of the tide that we shall take from hereon out but it must come with compassion, regulation, and rights to proper healthcare. Was gonna play keys for Geena but didn’t get to btw, I had a cold the Monday prior so we didn’t get to practice out of safety. It was a really lovely evening. Lots of shows went on that evening actually, I went to @over_the_moon_art_studios in AP soon after too, and I feel I must shoutout my friend @canamaravocals for her and her band @canamaraband’s biggest gig yet Saturday, opening for @coldmusic! I wish I could have driven over to see. Was a really lovely Saturday night for everyone it seems. Those are always sweet. 🎶🎹☺️❤️ #iwantmytransrightsnow (at Trinity Episcopal Church, Asbury Park, NJ) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqYPuBiAxZA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#iwantmytransrightsnow

@swanrealmusic and @myabyrne were downright ebullient last night! So glad I got to meet them finally. And I am sorry to miss your set @danomakesmusic! Seems like a lot came about on one Saturday night. And now I’m wee exhausted from driving to and from Brooklyn the night before Daylight Savings which like, I totally appreciate for how it manages our range between earliest sunrise and sunset throughout the year… do you really want sun at like 3:30 am in July? Lol @pepperkitmusic is probably like what are you complaining for XD. But seriously… it works well to allow for earlier sunrises in the school year and later sunsets in the summer, with neither overreaching or underreaching at the opposite ends of the day. I do wish I had that extra hour though last night as I got home at would-be-midnight and then worked on producing for a couple hours — speaking of which, I actually saw Dano’s IG story which seemed curiously coincidental with my post about my own musical journey, about all techniques and strictures in art essentially being optional and potential guides, but no more. Follow your own feet before others’ mouths, in other words. But of course you learn over time, and you can always choose to integrate others’ heeds or to side-sweep them. I suppose I have put in my share of neurosis over this stuff, and at some point you have to let art breathe and be trusted. Still though it is good to cultivate. But it is also good to reap once sown, so why shouldn’t I? (comments ⬇️) (at Purgatory) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpsoMnFgH00/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Spring break has descended :) Now I can catch up on homework and study for forthcoming assessments lol. It’s been a bit harder for me to be studious this semester, after the break between semesters, and due to my classes having a deceptively small amount of assignments barring Computer Science (which I honestly find only so stimulating). Gonna get to the gym and keep things going with that, and I’m gonna read my notes, powerpoints, and Quizlets to study for bio, and catch up for Comp Sci (“how to use Microsoft Office”). Spanish is easy because I have an affinity for that stuff. So I study for that fairly easily. In fact, after speaking with Lana about the novel I’m writing and with Dad about what various languages sprouted from, I’m thinking I might benefit from studying that in school. Duh, you might say. Well it’s not easy to just change one’s career path from what you have had such passion for and even at times and in many aspects shown promise in. And of course I can’t give up as if I’ve done nothing of import in that world. What I’m saying is that language could be something to build from, namely if the institutions have little interest in guiding me as a musician at this time. (continued in comments) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpnSGCpggTk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Been daily blogging on Facebook. This one’s short enough for Insta: Yes I slept with mascara 💄🤦🏽‍♀️😭 I was a bit depressed yesterday due to the news about my denial of admission to UArts. Still reeling, and busy, so I’ll probably keep this one shorter. I didn’t do much because of that, although I did still get myself to the gym in the morning yesterday, did a mild workout with my personal trainer. Good stuff. It really hit me though, the news, in the afternoon. Grief often is that way, of any type, that it really hits you to the point of desolation the day after. But I thought I might have disappointed my mentor and friend in missing the admission; that wasn’t true at all as it turns out. It was another stepping stone, as far as the greater story is concerned. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be in liminal spaces, to not yet reach the destination. As long as one continues to sow and seek, they are due to reap and moreover they are due to keep vital. And of course these moments teach because it is important to love what we have and are before we seek further. You know, ”I shall not want” and the like. And so restored are we. Most of my twenties have been defined by accepting that patience is the power most provident, and that I can be as I seek to be, if I use the pieces I am given, fiercely. As I told my good friend I do not feel hampered or defined by this setback, because my purpose is greater. To artfully convey my soul, however I can, that is my life’s mission. And it is tirelessly fulfilling. Waiting in the skies Is an answer to it all, Keep ourselves grounded. Nothing left to lose. (at Asbury Park, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpmBtlINu3D/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

It was an interesting first week of March, with a lot of promise to start, though some things go your way and others don’t. Was really hoping that with my audition I might have had a spot at UArts in Philly. Didn’t work out that way. It does hurt a bit… I still am waiting on a response from another school I applied to but that one really seemed lovely. At very least though, I still have my languages, my music, my fitness, my drive, my inner sense of who I am. Right? Those are important aren’t they. Welp. And apparently I’m also failing Comp Sci. I don’t care anymore. https://www.instagram.com/p/CpjVTUVNyK8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

@ledisi sings #ninasimone was enormous last nite :) (at Carnegie Hall) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDb4IVg9Rg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#ninasimone

Mâle noire You were more than this, Black Male. And some of us remember that. And the stifling they wield, Bereft of provocation… And Blacks on Blacks, Not as they say, but by “authority” Wielded for they can’t shake the skin off As if the cloth bedecking them is real angel dust… And of course, no angels to find among. The ones spangled with birthright tan skin, They know they have done worse… And they likely take pride that this time, it wasn’t them preparing your hearse. Because they had stronger whipping boys instead. Unprovoked, uninhibited. Merciless, mauling. A score as justice and nothing more. You were more than this, Black Male. And some of us will try to cling To who you were beyond that pale Of those who claim just, your suffering. A moment of silence surrounding gruesome, gruesome noise— A silence that would never stop, Because at the center of it all, who will you call? A group so high-pathetical, Who have claimed the author too in little ways… You would think they would care for mercy, And I suppose many do… But who can I depend on, To look after Good, to see that she can carry on. When They act like this, It’s on Them. When They act like this, We have the right to spit on Them. But not even Peace will answer in their tongue, So where do we go, from Here to Here. Another Black Male, a story his own, Never to be known. At least as it’s been. But you wait to be seen. Everything of what you could have been, Waiting in the darkness of this skin. Love, love. Rest as you will. Let the wind take it all, as it will. Sorrow profound, we take the kill. (at Memphis, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn9ErYzu99f/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

At most, we get the Love we think we deserve. And at very least, it’s there anyway. ❤️🙏🏽 #blessed (at Asbury Park, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn6GDXdg5gL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#blessed

#2022bestnine I thought this fell out of fashion! I guess it’s back. Woohoo! https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm4_xkdAef-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#2022bestnine

@wonderfulyear_ap @thewonderbarofficial (2022) (at Asbury Park, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmx7VKyN0hM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

dapper (at Asbury Park, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmXlo-aNOUD/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Yeah Instagram wasn’t having that poem translate in neat even lines so you get this selfie from the other day lmao. Sorry, sometimes it’s easier to write in French! Though I’m still parsing how to understand it as spoken rather than written. Go @raphaelwarnock! In fact, maybe this is a good time to divulge what I feel about the runoff election, this election season, and how the country is leaning right now politically. Things do feel… insecure still, as the country remains split. The Supreme Court is still 6-3 to conservatives and there is still very much a hold that conservatives have in the news media, but not without liberals — and some leftists, though let’s be honest, they usually hate establishment too much to get involved, usually — tempering the balance pretty sufficiently. But beyond these Overton labels, I feel good about this season where a tide is present toward some desire for systemic progress again. Warnock is a fairly balanced candidate after all, at least on paper, as a pastor who aligns himself with causes that support the lower and middle class, as well as minorities. He is someone that Christians can directly connect to yet also someone who can teach (or reassure) at least a good sum of them to look out for those who do not fit their perfect and often vain ideal of what a Christian is or ought to be. I believe that he will continue to make a fine leader. As far as the greater wave in the country right now, I believe that Trumpism has greatly lost ground and that it is no longer in its prime. However people like lost niño Nick Fuentes deeply disturb me. It seems though that with the Ye debacle we all by and large agree, regardless of Overton short of nazism itself that nazism is bad. But it is worth noting that there is one side more prone to radicalizing people into it, and it ain’t Warnock’s. Plenty has been brewing of concern underground and in our very own Congress and Supreme Court, abortion rights and marriage equality now up for debate again. But if these midterms are of proof, we should be fine. The country’s blue youth are plenty eligible to vote and partake in government matters and are a growing influence. It’s a matter of time. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl3K4EnuAuC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Qui guident mes pas Je ne suis pas chanceuse, Mais j’essaie. C’est douloureuse en fait, Mais j’attendrai. Et je comprends la voie Qui guide mes pas Loin de mes volontés À mon destin reçu, Sans considération pour ce qui je suis due. Que je serais ensemble avec Mon moi, seule, mon cœur, sec… Je ne croyais jamais dans ma jeunesse. Et dans ma tristesse, je me requière Que je fasse qui je peux de ces morceaux Qui guident mes pas ici et qui guident mes pas là Dans ce monde fou et faux. Pourquoi? Pourquoi, pourquoi pas, Quand les moments fuissent En un moment, tiens ton paix Pour la joie de matin, après cette nuit qui Situe lourdement sur le sol. Éveille-toi aux choses et idées qui Mendieront ton respect, Mais qui aucunes peuvent le volent. Un monde, un univers De que personne peut fuit Et encore, de quoi tous devra mourir, Sans ralentissement et sans permanence, Où chaque journée faut qu’on vive vers, Tu as le puissance pour le faire La tienne. Mieuse, moyenne ou pire. Prends garde, que tu eusses le dernier rire. (not sure how well this translates but I like it) #forcequiguidemespas #poets #enfrançais https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl2rVQ4N447/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#forcequiguidemespas #poets #enfrançais

👍🏾 https://www.instagram.com/p/CluXaTRgUJV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

who is she? (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clt_5Z1PAh7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Haikus for Ye Flashing lights, Power Happen to be like moments, Passing right over. The spoils of Glory Leftovers of over-shots Pare-aside of love. All you are is ‘Ye. And so you’ve bucked “Honor”’s way, You’ve left your fans lost. I get that you Speak, And your right is to give Thought. But this bears such cost. Your plans to be God Fall deaf on us mere mortals, You give praise to Death. Your Name is not Real And you’ve broken our hearts Doling Love like it’s meth. “Speak Now” Mister West In the name of dear Donda, A Panther’s lost spawn. In honest offense, All your love feels so desperate. Respect was first gone. Speaking out is “fun” When you have no real regard. I think that’s enough. Make a few sessions Sit with yourself, listen back. I know that it’s tough. Can only Strengthen What’s left of that Champion, That… Reputation. #yewest #kanye #kanyeloveskanye #kanyewest (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClrnMqbg9fZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#yewest #kanye #kanyeloveskanye #kanyewest

So it turns out the shooter in Colorado Springs was nonbinary… and the guy who threw a brick at a gay bar in NYC was gay himself. Seems that it isn’t always us against them after all. When will we learn. God knows we suffer. (at America) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClUcEWkgiRo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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