AO3 Link here! There is where all my female reader and idol x idol stuff goes!
-----------
Sins Corp Masterlist
-----------
I made a Ko-Fi! While I’m not accepting commissions due to a lack of availability and ability to commit to working on those, this sort of serves as a little tip jar for anyone who wishes to drop a bit of cash or something. You’ll mainly be funding my albums, if I ever buy any.
a bit of a none horny question coming in, do you still listen and watch the new loona groups contents if not whats ur new fav groups or group or have u moved away from the kpop scene?
I'm still in the kpop scene! I barely do contents these days but following ARTMS, tripleS, aespa, H2H mainly.
And fool me three times, and you’ll end up with a bad stomach from food poisoning by looking at your wife.
–
This would be very apparent from the dinner leaving a horrible taste in your mouth. Even with the five-course meal curated by the most fine dry-aged meats, the savory dishes spliced in immaculate presentation, and the fine refreshments of dessert after, you can’t help but feeling-
Sick.
The dinner had been pure, psychological torture from the moment you walked in. In kindness, you’ve excused yourself with a fist in your pocket, reaching for a pack of smokes as a way of coping (or in this case: relapsing). It’s safe to deduce that you’d be better off away from the crowd of people inside and finding solitude outside on the balcony at the long end of a corridor.
While the quick bliss of smoke, corroding your lungs with every puff and pass, it oddly clears your mind while staring out into the distance. It all hits you in quick flickers - flashbacks blinding you in a mixture of regret and wanting of reconciliation: the image of a woman with her hair swept so beautifully, wearing a dress with thin straps that look like they could fall off her shoulders so easily, standing in front of you with your hands wrapped around her hip ever-so slightly.
One cigarette goes, and another comes. You can’t stop your twitching hands. She definitely saw it, even from a distance. Staring at the ground a few floors up and the gentle breeze soothing your mind as the two women glanced at you from across the table - how one of them quickly put it altogether.
Despite how cushy the job was, it was literal hell trying to keep your sanity in check with all these women twisting your mind into a man fucked-
“I take one good look at you and think you’ll just throw yourself off the building,” a voice grabs one ear from behind, seeing the very woman who might as well point the gun at you and fire at your head, her face just as gloriously cold like the night, bare shoulders and thighs exposed beneath the slit of her dress.
For one, you’re leering - though not too much - since it’s best not to ogle and give into the urge to consume her entire look, ‘cause the girl’s close but still so far out of reach. Ripping into your stare before your eyes dart elsewhere. “Why are you here, Dahyun?”
“You look out of it, so I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
Surprisingly, it’s dangerously appreciative of the concern, but you know well her silent anger is enough to kill a world leader if the cards aren’t played right. “Cut the bullshit, babe. I know.”
She blinks, pulls her lips flat. “Okay. Then-”
For the record: you’re an idiot. A complete fucking imbecile at that. Yet it’s in just the general nature for a man like you to give into desires that you shouldn’t be bothered by in the first place-
“How long, hm?”
-to be at an end recuperating such a sinful act. And you’re about to experience Dahyun reaping the absolute benefits of it.
“You have to understand,” you plead. “It wasn’t my fault-”
“Save it,” she says, her tone remaining calm; pitying your sorrows (in mourning for breaking the vow you swore at the altar). Reaching, Dahyun steps forward; not in anger, you think. But rather, willing to get the whole story before she comes to her own verdict of the situation. “First Momo, now Sana’s trying to get a piece of you for herself again. I always knew.”
God, she’s your own grim reaper looking deathly beautiful beneath the shining moon, her dress hugging the curves delicately that you can’t help but surf along them with your eyes. You’ve got this smoky look in your eyes which she notices - and she knows what they could mean, because she can’t break her gaze away.
“What exactly are you defending here, dub?” You mumble, a hurtful plea, just the thought of Dahyun (and Sana) is making you lose your mind more than just being disappointed with yourself, a part of you that wishes to take everything back and fill that craving of her that’s all-consuming.
Dahyun’s got no words to suffice, because it’ll just be a revolving door of the same issues over and over again. She can’t help herself, in the way you look at her and how she reciprocates it, like you’re back to wanting her after being pulled away from other beautiful women that are just as equally whipped for her. They can get you all they want, but Dahyun’s yours at the end of the day, drinking in your eyes; kissing you because she’s yours.
Against red wine and tobacco and you told Dahyun that you’d quit being a chainsmoker, but your tongue slips into hers and she’s falling in love with the very same mouth that did so from the beginning. Your hands grasp around her waist desperately, feigning less care that you’d rip the dress right off of her body; a drastic engulfing as if you’d never want to let her go. Dahyun’s feet then get her pinned against the wall, shrouded away from the world where you’d let your deepest sins rise from the darkness - kiss her until she begs to breathe once more, hushed through slack lips: “Everyone here drives me crazy, including you.”
It was never meant to be this sort of cruel reminder or notion of how things are; no, not even in the slightest. In the end, she’s the one who’s got the ring on her finger and you’re hung up on whether yours should be taken off or not. “I was angry with you once, but not anymore” she whispers, lips stuck in this heated inferno when you descend down the lower parts of her neck.
Kissing her pulse, the tip of your nose brushes her cheek. “We both know that’s a lie and you know it,” you say, “You know it; I know it. Why don’t you confront Sana and see what she says about this.” Since this has been a revolving door of many occurrences and girls falling in and out of your arms; though the one who has always stayed is keeping you right where you are. “What could she say, hm?” You propose, blindly angered.
“What could she say? As if she wasn’t the one to find out about you and Momo in the first place-”
“And you remember when she called me that night,” you grin, “Yeah you scare me sometimes, but I don’t fear you. Not when you’re like this.” A shrug is what you give when your hands claim her wrists, raising them higher above her head. “Everyone wants a piece of me just as much as they want a piece of you.”
Dahyun’s gaze freezes, watching as you make way a familiar path of placing an ear to her breasts. “I get that, but-”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“Even if I were to say something, what difference would it make with the others? When Momo got you-”
“The first time was already rough as it is,” you grumble, “It’s not like I’m being shunned, am I? Besides; they don’t have me. You do.” Your eyes shimmer in hers. “So what if I’m being passed around like a boytoy-”
Dahyun’s shoulders loosen from your gripped wrists. “Maybe this was a mistake,” she sighs. “I shouldn’t have checked on you.” In lieu of saying: you’re fucking inssufferable is what you are - she blinks right through your face.
So: to hell with it. Fuck everything and everyone is the best presumption.
She tries to leave, but you don’t let her, keep her confined to the corner. “What do you think you’re gonna do? Who are you gonna go to? Sana? What would she say?” You ask, eyes narrowed.
“No. But I might if you don’t let-”
“Let go? Wow. I thought you’d stay and watch me wallow in my emotions.” Dahyun scoffs at this, since there've been many ‘disagreements’ before. Even when Jihyo made way to you that other time at an event like this, Dahyun was pissed. Your hands find solace at her hips, rustling fabric to skin. “I’d never let you off that easy.”
You hear her breath shorten as she tries to wriggle out of your touch; drinking in the dark, salacious intent your eyes pool out. “Babe- wait. We can’t, no. Not like this,” she says suddenly, because she knows what’s about to happen - even more humbling and pathetic to her own mind - much less of a plea or surrender in your name. Trying to break free from your hands but you raise hers high; higher actually.
“Didn’t you want to see how I was holding up?” You murmur, breath warm and lavicious. “For the record: I wasn’t doing okay until you came around.” There’s truth to this statement, overshadowed by the sneer in your tone. Your fingers slip in the opening of her dress, at her waist while the other cups her ass. “I could tell it was bothering you the way you slammed your glass on the table.”
“Sana and Tzuyu-” and her groan is the first real break in her act. “Ugh. Those two don’t know when to back the fuck off,” she admits, shaking her head. Turns out she was subjecting herself to her own psychological warfare of the other girls ogling at you from a distance.
You don’t buy her alibi at first, studying her figure as your hand traverses down between her legs: “I did say that you’re even hotter when you’re mad, but you being soaked is another,” you huff, “Look at you, Hyun. You’re dripping.” Normally, you’d take pleasure in finding this out, but it’s overshadowed. “Don’t tell me you’ve thought about Sana on me, too.”
“Do you really think that lowly of me?” She asks, doing all she can to not notice the press of your thumb on her little clit through the fabric. The assumption alone could be enough to not be on speaking terms, yet it’s very invigorating how frustrated the both of you are. Her head dips - an admission, “It would’ve been so hot, though.”
“Oh?” You say, settling between her legs, rumpling waves of fabric that were a measly barrier between the growing tent right at the seat of your pants, waiting to meet her long-awaited cunt. “What if I told them I’d also do the same thing I’m doing right now?” you gruff, “If that’s what my girl wants. Fine. Have it your way.”
Dahyun shudders at the voice; everything about the way your words are presented are so enunciated and punctual: “I’m going to take this body of yours as mine like it’s supposed to be.”
Her body follows the flow of your mouth and hands, responding to them with their own violation, thighs pressed against each other to sustain the feeling. One knuckle up her cunt wasn’t enough, so there goes another - or two, even - and the fabric between the inevitable crime is only making it worse in the need for more, and rough.
You’re taking it all in, in the sound of her hot mouth funneling in your ear. Utilizing all the friction you can to make her ache before you’ve even sunk your cock into the poor girl. Cumming in no time flat which is a small testament to how you want her to be, and how she wants you desperate to go all the way.
So much for her panties anyway: ripped from her hips and lost into the darkness behind. “Whoops,” you say, unbothered (yet you like it despite the little effort), “Didn’t mean to do that. Just hope you don’t drop anything in front of Sana, or Tzuyu, for that matter.”
(It’ll be an idea for her sometime in the future. Maybe when she’s been riled up enough to get an entire coalition to deal with your insufferable antics - to use you as their own personal servant until they feel like they’re willing to switch the roles around. You hope so, too. Dahyun will never know before the day it happens.)
Just like how she picked the ideal dress that hugged her body, adorned with all the curves and angles perfectly fitting with the intent of making you notice. Because she knew that you wouldn’t stop. She looks over the dim lights shimmering through the small windows, a small clamor of people stepping outside of the ballroom. “Someone could hear us, y’know,” she whispers, biting her lip as she feels the third knuckle bathing in her slick.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you drawl, the gentle groan of your zipper undone. Divide and conquer: work her lips while she gets herself open for you, whimpering at the feeling of your tip pressing hard into her entrance.
Not that it was some form of protest, wrapping a leg around you, pushing her hips forward for the angle where she likes it deep. Dahyun holds you close, to the neck and with fingers in your hair. You, on the other hand, are shameless and gripping her ass as the pace is being found, snapping your hips upward and letting her back hit the concrete behind her.
Dahyun’s body is a map you know all too well. It’s easy, and (always) good. She throws her head back and moans, letting the clenching cunt do its work around your length. “Right there, hon,” you rasp, quietly. “Not too loud. Cover your mouth if you have to.” She nods in reply, neck going slack as she can’t fathom the same spot of her cunt being worked over one thrust in the next - like she’s being transformed to a being that your only purpose is to love her.
For a girl like her-
One that comes off as inviting and prude in a second, to being an unfiltered deity who won’t back down in voicing her demands where she sees fit.
Fuck me.
The dark dress being lifted to reveal more is your own twisted version of a veil.
Harder, babe. Please.
“God, Dahyun-”
“Fuck me like you want me,” she commands, and you have to wonder if she truly wants to get so fucked over and make it the constant reality (which it already should be) to get you apologize with more than your mouth attached with apologies.
“Christ, you fucking tease.” It’s hardly an insult, but rather an affirmation of what’s owed: “You’re the biggest and neediest girl that needs to know where she stands. Insufferably whipped like there’s nothing else than that.”
Dahyun winces in reflex, as noticed by her cunt gripping your length like a vice. Her eyes blown in a hazy black, closing them in humiliation while the arousal continues to out her with every slam and drag back of your hips. Her face is against your neck, gently kissing the pulse; one more thing to worry about that’s clouding the impending edge you’re getting yourself off on.
The preferences in a short amount of time come in quick succession: hosting her up to the moonlight; fucking her fast and painstakingly slow, to the point where she has to slap your face to get your attention, despite that with one more slide down your shaft, she can’t bring herself back to earth as she cums all over your cock.
“You’re-” you choke because her whine was loud enough for someone to notice, but honestly getting caught would be better than being like this. “Absolutely wonderful, my love. Look at you, sopping all over my cock like you can’t help it.
“Fu- it’s so good, it’s too good I can’t fucking stop-”
“Don’t,” you sneer, letting one of her legs back down as she stops halfway, sharply inhaling at the flex of your cock inside her, clearly displeased. “If you don’t stop me, I’m going to fuck you until I cum in your pretty little cunt; we don’t want them to notice it after now, would we?”
The groan slipping out of your fiancé’s lips is pure music, mixed with her climax, but with every upward stroke inside she then realizes what was currently happening. Dahyun pulls your head close, where her mouth is back on your ear, and it’s a siren’s call: “If you really want to show that I’m yours, then you better mark me where everyone can see-”
“An absolute fantasy, baby. Oh my fuck-” you slip here because the idea’s way too rewarding with how the whole thing unfolded. “I bet you’d like the thought of seeing me get off with the others just as much as you are right now.” Because it could happen, and it will; just entirely a matter of when that time comes.
You kiss her, brutally, with teeth and tongue and every mixed emotion of anger and denial and wanting to own up your regrets to take back what’s yours. Dahyun feels it in the rough heat, and she’s hot all over. A bad desire that’s only boiled from the tension prior because you’d much rather have a mattress to fuck her in as opposed to sleeping in shame on the couch. “I’ll make it up to you. Here,” you confess, thumbs pressed to her hips as they hold her in place while you’re pushing the angle a little more deeper. “I’ll fuck you as many times as it takes if it helps you forget what the other girls have done with me; when you’re full and cock drunk and begging for more, then you could at least stop pretending like you’re not mine.”
“Please,” your girl sighs, and she’s begged for your cock multiple times, enough to tattoo it into your skin and bones. It almost makes her feel guilty; it’s in her eyes, and you might’ve both misunderstood each other- maybe. You get yourself off in her, thrusting without any sense of remorse, letting her moans fill your ears until it all becomes white noise-
“Yes, yes, yes, yes-”
You blink right through the simple praise, naturally cumming inside her like she’s meant for it.
It then gets messy, lackadaisical. Your entire body shudders as rope after rope is put inside her hole. Her head nods in approval, rubbed against your cheek. She’s melting in your hands, almost enough to make you worry she’ll slip right through your fingers.
“Fuck,” rasps Dahyun. “You came so fucking much.”
A groan is all you give in response.
She coos as you slip out and see her wobble, sinking to her knees, holding her breast and swiping her tongue to the underside for a quick second. “Think I can make you cum with my mouth in a minute?”
You gaze down to her beady eyes, breath hot on your balls. It makes your cock twitch on impulse. “I have a better idea.”
“Scared?” Dahyun tilts her head in confusion, which also forces her to stand up without you telling her. “What’re you-”
“You can clean up my cock later when we get home,” you say, lifting her leg and place your cock back in her needy entrance, revitalized from her small taunt. A few more thrusts even long after you’re spent, and you’ve came in her again. The tightness squeezing around your cock makes you leak when you pull out and land a little more cum on her inner thighs.
“Oh my god.” says Dahyun. “Fuck- you really couldn’t help yourself-”
“Save it,” you spit, take a moment to stop the shaking in your legs and get your pants right. Dahyun dips a finger to the mess below and has a taste for herself. She looks at you without any care, and your hips feel stiff once more.
“Do you realize how hot you are when you’re angry?” And she acts like the cloth doesn’t cut both ways.
“If you want Sana to know where we’ve been,” you tell her, grabbing her chin and forcing to your height advantage, yet she bites her lip because you know she likes it. “You’d show her yourself what’s under that dress, while also thinking of me.”
You don’t think you ever found true happiness until you met Kang Haerin.
Before Haerin came into your life, it felt like you were living in a simulation. You had a normal, boring routine—you stocked up the books at the library, directed the kindergarten teachers where to lead their students, and went home.
That’s what you did because you were a fresh grad with a journalism major and no backups and also, nobody wanted to fucking hire you. They said something about mental ability, which was insulting, to say the least. Why should they let some stupid doctor define how you could prove yourself? You had batchmates with less amazing CVs than you and one of them is an author now. New York Times bestseller. Signed copies going for thousands of dollars.
And you? You’re stuck in your local public library, getting sick quite literally because of the dust (endless dust), and pretending that you still want to live. You had no parents or siblings to be of service to. All you had in this world was you, and you weren’t an ideal person to love. You can be honest with yourself.
But then Haerin walked in. The moment the door of the library clinked open, so did her entrance to your life. You knew you loved her immediately. It had to be fate, because this girl—this impossibly beautiful girl—walked up to you and asked:
“Where can I find a book about dreams?”
You stared at her dumbly, your Adam’s apple bobbing. She had curly hair and serious almond eyes that stared into your soul.
“Hello?” she said. “My name is Haerin. I need a book about dreams.”
“A-Are you looking for anything in particular?”
If Haerin was weirded out, she didn’t show it. Her face didn’t move an inch in spite of its soft lines. “No,” she replied. Always so straightforward, even… now?
“No authors? Because—um, I have a manuscript right now about a dreamer.”
“Really,” said Haerin, and you couldn’t tell if she was fascinated or sarcastic.
“He had a dream about a girl with catlike eyes. She kept appearing in his dreams until one day, she walked in as if she was real.”
Haerin stared blankly at you. You really fumbled big-time. You looked around at the dusty shelves and the dozing librarian and the dim lights. Here was a girl who had a classic beauty straight out of paintings with the composed clarity of a musical sheet. She didn’t belong here. She deserved to be somewhere she could be recognized and lauded for how beautiful she is.
And instead, she had a nosy librarian’s assistant using a cheesy pickup line on her.
Haerin started to laugh. Her serious eyes looked soft for a moment there, and all you could see in the caramel brown was you. You wanted to tell her about the silence rule but you couldn’t. You were laughing, too. Both of you could get in trouble.
“I’m sorry. That was really corny,” you admitted, scratching the back of your neck.
Haerin stifled the last of her giggles. “That’s fine. We can always start again. Watch.”
She snapped her fingers before turning on her heel. Her Mary Janes brought her back where you started, and back to the desk where you would start again. She was smiling this time as she held out her hand.
“Hi, I’m Kang Haerin,” she said. You shook hands firmly. “I dreamed about a guy who used a corny line to hit on me. But it’s fine, because he was really cute and I could tell he’s nice. Do you think I can find a story like that anywhere?”
Above you, the lamp flickered once. It never did that before. Must be a sign.
You smiled back at her. “I have just the thing.”
-
It didn’t take much dating for you to know she was the one. You knew from the second you saw her. But Haerin was shyer than she had let herself come across, and that didn’t matter anyway because you were willing to wait. You would wait forever if you needed to.
Forever lasted four months. On the first date, she wore a chic black dress with her hair now straightened in dark locks. You had coffee together. She talked about how, like you, she was also a fresh grad. She took theater, which surprised you because she didn’t look the type to show expression. One time, you made a funny joke and Haerin laughed without smiling. You apologized for your lack of humor and she had to clarify that she loved the joke.
But Haerin had many faces. One she often used was the expressionless look that made her a blank canvas.
“People are going to take me the wrong way whatever I do,” she explained over a sip of her black coffee. “So I just don’t respond at all and let them think about what I meant.”
“Do you ever show them what you actually feel?”
Haerin shrugged. “Only to the people I know could take me the wrong way but still love me anyway.”
Another face Haerin had was one that showed her wide, toothy smile. It took a lot to get it out of her, until it didn’t. It made you realize that Haerin wasn’t as hard to make happy as people thought. She said she was often told she was a strange girl; her exes never knew what she wanted and broke things off when they gave up.
But when you moved in together, she laughed when she heard you speak through a mouthful of toothpaste. She smiled when you kissed her under the moonlight at the balcony. Her eyes lit up whenever you told her you got her a new book.
“How do you always know what I want?” she asked in disbelief, flipping the hardbound on her lap. She looked even prettier without the makeup or distressed perm, when she lounged on your sofa with her natural straight hair wearing your shirt.
“You said you wanted a classic mystery, and you could never go wrong with Sherlock Holmes.” You waved it off. You turned the television off for the night. Haerin hated the drill of the multiple-of-five volume dialogue when she’s trying to get herself sleepy.
“But how did you know? It’s so perfect.”
Doesn’t she get it? “It’s easy to tell what you want, Haerin. Ridiculously easy, I don’t even have to try.”
Haerin rolled her eyes, but she got an idea. She crawled over to you and made herself comfortable on your lap. Her bare thighs were smooth against yours. You held her waist as she stared deeply into your eyes.
Not only was Haerin attentive and sweet. It was like God took her qualities and made her physical form just as beautiful. She had a tiny, blemishless face with a nose you loved to nuzzle against. Her body was small and her waist fit into your hands perfectly, like you were made to hold her.
Haerin was smirking. “Alright then,” she said. “If you always know what I want, tell me what I want now.”
Her voice was soft. You looked down at her pink mouth and back up into those dreamy eyes. Like you said, way too easy.
“Me.”
“Don’t get smart,” said Haerin, but she proved you right with a deep, literally breathtaking kiss.
When Haerin kissed, it was like she was trying to pull the soul out of your mortal form and join it with her own. She closed her eyes and shoved her tongue deep in your mouth, her hips working in circles on your lap. The tiny pair of lace panties quickly got wet, and she moaned when your tip bumped against that patch of arousal.
This face was one she only showed to you. You slipped your hands under that big shirt and felt her toned abdomen and perky breasts, feeling her up and down. Every little touch made Haerin’s breath catch. It made her grind her clit more urgently against your erection, looking for something only you can give her. Most of all, it made her face twist and contort into one of pure pleasure, eyes widening and lips parting.
Haerin couldn’t take it anymore. She slipped her panties to the side, showing how wet you made her. She’s soaked as she took you inside her. Her body tightened up and curled into your arms. Your T-shirt long gone, Haerin started to ride you like she needed it. Like you’d disappear if she didn’t get what she wanted while you were here.
“Oh, oh fuck, right there…” Haerin shivered when you started thrusting up to meet her halfway. She had coated your length from base to head with her juices. There’s an endless stream of it.
You pulled her down with you. The sofa springs bore the intensity of your strokes. You held her hand as you kissed and bit her neck, groaning into her vanilla-sweet flesh. She was so easy to take when she was always so wet for you. Her legs locked behind your back in order to keep you there.
“Don’t stop, please,” whimpered Haerin, eyes filled with stars. “I love you. Don’t leave me.”
The lamp sitting on your center table went out. You couldn’t see Haerin’s face bathed in reds and oranges anymore. But you loved her, and so you kept your promise.
-
You were finally sure after years of not having things figured out. You were unsure about what you wanted to be. You were even more unsure when the time came for you to choose a course. When you graduated in that stadium with flowers surrounding you and cheers deafening you, you didn’t know what to do with your degree. You had no idea where to go.
But Haerin made you so certain of yourself. You didn’t want to paint her as someone who was the solution to all your problems and illustrate her to be a savior she never chose to be. But it wasn’t a coincidence that she came right when you were lost and suddenly you were on track for the first time in your life.
She made you want to become something. Just looking at her caused you to think of all the beautiful things a beautiful girl like her deserved—a good boyfriend, a nice car, a relationship that nurtured her. So you worked hard to give her all of that.
She held a hand to her mouth when she saw the gorgeous car parked in the garage. She was half-sobbing, half-laughing. “This is so sweet. What did I do to deserve you? Thank you, but—”
“What?”
She burst out laughing like never before. “I don’t know how to drive…” she replied. She looked a little sullen now. You took money out of your own pocket to get her a beautiful car only for her to be unable to drive. She couldn’t even parallel park. You probably thought it was a waste.
But you placed an arm around her and kissed her on top of her head. “It’s alright, baby,” you said. “I’ll do it for you. We can go wherever you like.”
All she had to do was say the words. You took her everywhere: malls, forests, airports. Funny; you only got a driver’s license the year before. You commuted back and forth but with Haerin, you revved the car up and picked her up from the salon.
All she had to do was ask. So now, you were at a beach where the shores were nearly white and the skies seemed to fall down on your shoulders. The clouds bore the weight of it all. It was nearly winter, so there was but a faint bit of sunlight. It refracted in the bubbles Haerin blew into the wind.
She was smiling so brightly. That was the only sunshine you needed.
Later that night, she said she didn’t want to leave yet. So you started a campfire while she bought soft marshmallows from the nearby grocery. A woollen quilt kept her warm. You let the fire toast your marshmallows into a rich brown.
“What if we get lost doing this?” Haerin asked. She looked at the stars in the sky, the sand around her. “Doing…” She gestured vaguely with her hands. “All of this. These wild adventures without a map or even a GPS.”
“We won’t,” you replied. You sounded so sure of yourself. It didn’t once occur to you that you could live a life without Kang Haerin. She belonged in your passenger seat, your lap, the deep brooks of your heart.
She bit off a piece of marshmallow from her stick. “We still have to be careful though. We won’t know every street forever.”
Right. Because one day, when you two got older and hopefully wiser, these roads would change. You wouldn’t know everybody in the neighborhood as soon as the newer, younger ones filed in. Everything would be nothing like you knew it was.
You hated to say it, but in spite of the darkness that dressed Haerin’s words, she was right. It wouldn’t be like this forever.
“Okay,” you said finally, thinking for a moment. “If I lost you, what would you do to lead me back?”
Haerin sat back into the sand. So many thoughts ran into her head at all hours of the day, and if you didn’t love her to death, you wouldn’t know. She often looked too mature, too composed to ever be bothered by anything. The Kang Haerin everybody knew was resilient. And when she was too resilient, she could risk being malleable to people. They could lie to themselves by saying they could mold her into whoever they wanted her to be.
But that wasn’t Haerin. So she turned up her chin and said, “I’d open a light.”
“What kind of light?”
“I dunno, anything.” She shrugged. “A fire, lamplight, or campfire. It doesn’t matter. If I shine it, I know you’ll get me out of the dark.”
The flames danced in golden flickers in her eyes. Haerin stared at it until her marshmallow burned and joined the ashes at the bottom of the log pile. You gave her your share.
“How about you?” Haerin asked. She scooted closer until the contact of your bodies seemed to spark hotter than the campfire itself. “How would I know if you’re lost?”
“Don’t worry about that. Leave the saving to me.”
-
Haerin didn’t like fighting with you. It made her cry real tears that could fill a pool if either of you were rich enough to afford one. She didn’t like all the yelling. She didn’t like how small it made her feel and not in the good way you managed to make it out to be when you’re in the chambers of your bedroom.
You tried not to yell at her. Whenever your voice got too intense, you turned away from her so she couldn’t see that you were angry. It helped you too because you couldn’t bear to see her sad. It felt like you were one with her emotions and tore you into pieces as it did to her.
“I just don’t know why you’re doing this,” she said. “You said you loved me. Why don’t you fucking show it?”
Unbelievable. You curled your hands through your hair and stopped yourself from pulling it out of the scalp.
“What else do you want me to do? I give you everything, Haerin. My car, my clothes, my time.”
The calendar pages ripped faster than the seams on your jacket. It’s been months since you graduated and she’s nearly twenty years old. You’re happy with each other. You’re the best company both of you could ever ask for. No one can understand you quite like Haerin does.
But oftentimes, that isn’t enough.
It’s what she’s trying to get across. Haerin’s dress tatters were crushed in her fists. She’s crying her heart out because she didn’t like being reminded of that. Ever. Youth was so comfortable it tricked you into believing it was something eternal.
You finally had the courage to turn around and look her in the eyes. To look her in those big, beautiful eyes and force yourself to recognize the truth. There were real problems in the world that trips and outings and sex couldn’t solve.
“Time, baby,” you said softly, in a broken voice you couldn’t claim as your own. It had been a while since you sounded so unsure. “Do you know how little time we have left?”
Neither of you should be blinded by the quick bliss you had now. You shouldn’t be fools. The lamp’s starting to look weird again. You needed to wake up—
Wake up.
-
Wake up.
The air that hits you is cold. You open your eyes groggily and quickly find out why. A blue hospital gown doesn’t really help warm your legs. The blanket is thin and cheap. The only warmth you can find is from the dull sting of pain from the needles shoved in the veins of your arms.
What an odd dream that was. You lift yourself up on the bed the best you can. Your body still feels tired. Part of you wants to go back to sleep again, but you stop yourself. If you close your eyes, you’re not sure if you’re going to wake up again.
You trail your fingers on the thick bandage taped to your skull. Around you, colorful balloons dance in the steady AC wind. You squint. One reads, in cursive: Happy 20th!
Before you is a wide television screen. Right now, it presents a photo of a girl with catlike eyes and hair curled for what looks to be a music show event. She’s smiling, but the headline gives her no reason to. It tells you of the lawsuit that follows her and her band at their heels, how it won’t leave them alone.
The red and blue colors of her stock image are blinding. You ask the doctor to turn off the light.
Can you believe that?! They asked me the same exact question for at least three times! Jeez.”
You laugh watching Jiyeon sulk. Your wife looks cuter when she is angy–intentional, she’s that cute.
It is three years into your marriage, and you have yet to have a child. It is supposedly by design, as the both of you have agreed to be childfree for the first five years. But, it seems like the talks from last night’s Christmas Eve have gotten under her skin.
“So like, do you actually want to have one or is it just you being annoyed?” you lean on the kitchen counter, watching her scramble some eggs.
“Well, I, uhm. It would be nice to have one that’s for sure,” hesitation in her voice. Albeit you’re facing her back, it is very apparent that she is blushing behind the stove top.
You chuckle at it.
“That can’t do. This is a very serious matter, Ji Suh-yeon. You can’t just say that about having a kid. Very, very serious this is,” your tone is threatening, though you mean it to be playful.
She can feel your hand enveloping her from behind. Your presence looming over her as she leans back. “Heh, scaryy~ is what you want me to say after hearing you say my full government name right?” she elbows you right on your liver–height difference can sometimes be an advantage.
You step back in pain. Lucky you that she didn’t choose your balls as the target of the attack, but still, several grunts are due. “I’m joking babe, damn.”
A smirk of victory is something rightful only to her, as you can see Jiyeon put up her hands on her hips in this pose of pride and satisfaction. What even is she proud about? Well, probably the fact that you’re on your knees right now.
That being said, the view from below and behind your wife makes it seem like you are the one victorious instead. It is her glorious toned legs and butt, which, once you indulge in it, is always a win in any scenario. Lost the fight but won the war, one might say.
“Anyway, I kinda understand it now, you know?”
Still in between grunts; “What?”
“Having children.”
You don’t answer. Let the silence marinate, the answer is best served ready and cooked.
“At first it was fun. Like, reaaally, genuinely exciting, to spend every single day with the love of my life doing whatever we want. Traveling, working, … fucking, heheh-
But after three years, I kinda feel like I’m satisfied, y’know? Like, I really enjoyed it, these past three years have been nothing but the best years of my life. Serious. And now, I think I’m ready … to have a kid …,
To be a mom.”
You get up slowly, cradling her from behind. “Jiyeon.”
“Hm?” she looks up. Those bright, sparkly, innocent eyes that you’ll never get tired of are looking at you with full anticipation.
“The egg is burnt honey…”
“Oh shit!”
~
Jiyeon is hot.
You can hardly think of anything else when she’s laid bare on the bed. Stomach inches away from your face.
Her belly is wet. The result of your affectionate munches–may or may not be caused from the burnt eggs incident, she is your breakfast for the day. You hang on her tits like it’s a pull up bar.
“Ah! Eheheheh! That tickles!” she coordinated her own hands on top of yours with the relentless squeeze on her cute tits.
Her laughter is cute, which really throws this whole situation off if you’re being honest. Any more of that will definitely replace your burning lust love with a strong urge to cuddle, and possibly with an addition of tickles. So you stop squeezing. She looks confused.
“Let’s just make us a child honey,” you get off of her to undress.
Doesn’t take long to be naked yourself, an effort to bring balance to the nakedness in the room. Jiyeon raises her head, smirking at you. Or is she smirking at your cock? You have no idea, not that you’d care either way.
You go back to the bed–jumping on her like a tiger pouncing its prey.
“Kyah!”
Her limbs are all loosely restrained under yours. Due to the nature of gravity–and the fact that you literally pounced on her–your erected cock is bouncing on and off between the two stomachs.
“...”
“...”
“HAHAHAHAH!” a rather vulgar laughter escapes your mouth, but she’s laughing harder.
“That was so funny!” she says, wiping tears from the corner of her eyes.
“Yeah, I did not expect it to ricochet like that,” you too are tearing up from the laughter.
“And like, the feel on my stomach,” she rubs hers in circling motion. “It’s like I’m being massaged by one of those massaging guns y’know. Pfft!”
“Haaah …”
“Heh.
Wanna continue?” she asks.
Of course you do. You lower your head. She closes her eyes. The soft sensation of her lips ignites the romance once more. It’s weird. You’ve kissed her countless times before. Being, well, your wife and all. But you never get tired of it. You never get tired of her taste, of her smell, of her.
You love Jiyeon.
Ah.
A string of drool connects the lips as you unlatch. Her eyes, pearly, pretty, are staring at you. An unspeakable bond is formed, or rather, strengthened. You give her one more quick smooch before reluctantly breaking eye contact. Looking down, she’s already squirming. Rubbing her inner thighs together, her legs fidget closer. Higher, too. she’s rubbing your balls with her inner thigh.
You move down. But not without planting a plethora of smooches all the way. It’s essential for you to taste her entire body before breaking into her most sacred–almost a ritual at this point. An appetizer is crucial in a five-course meal.
She still laughs amongst the moans elicited from the barrage of kisses, but you can feel the weight of expectancy from those. She wants you.
You spend a bit more time on her belly button than the others. You kiss it, lick it, suck it. Let her feel your-
Smack!
“Awch?”
In the middle of her panting breaths, she says; “Cmoon, don’t tease me any long-kyaah!”
In an abrupt motion you bring her legs up, simultaneously lifting her body from the chest down. You sit on your knees and plant her toes on the sides of her head. Putting an armlock around her hamstrings. You effectively folded your wife in this position, presenting her entire crotch right in front of your face. A revenge for the slap earlier.
“Hang on! Waitwaitwai-eEEK!”
You dive in. Who in their right mind wouldn’t? Your wife’s holes are displayed on a silver platter. Of course you’re eating her out.
I’ll eat(you) well.
Start slow. Kissing every area but her folds, including her puckered hole. Her hole is wet, that’s a given, but not so much around it. The objective is to spread everything evenly. The hidden objective is to torture her for the sake of it.
You lap her up like you would an ice cream. Licks, licks, licks, ooh, it’s her ass! Insert.
“Aghhhh!” her ass trembles when your tongue invades the tight hole.
You move your head up and down, stretching the rim with the repeated thrust of your tongue. Not the easiest thing to do, but her hole is very accommodating. A sign of complete trust.
“Ngghh! Fuck, FUCK! Stopstopstop-”
And so you stop.
“Huh? Why’d you stop?! I was close!” she hits your sides with her free hand.
Without any warning you release your right hand to stick your middle finger knuckle deep inside her ass. It silenced her immediately. You start rotating the finger inside, clockwise. Pretending to search her pleasure point–you already know where it is.
“There~” you say, shortly before she squirts uncontrollably.
You wait until her high is over, Jiyeon is quietly enjoying it.
Zero fucks were given as to where she sprays, as your face became the reservoir–not that you’d mind.
.
.
.
“Are you done?”
“Oh fuck you,” she says, weakly. Her voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah that’s the main goal here,” you smooch her folds one last time before putting her back down. Must’ve been sore to cum in such a position. A good thing that she’s flexible–years of ballet came in clutch.
You let her rest, as you need one too for a cooldown. Though it doesn’t last long, as she calls you with “Breed me babe, c’mon!” as she’s tapping her own belly.
Well, if she insists, a good husband will oblige.
You approach her. Once again lifting her legs, you’re only half-folding her now, as you hoist her legs up onto your shoulders. You position yourself right below her, hips already sticking. You lean in, watching her sweaty, sweety face. Ah, what a beauty.
“You ready honey?”
She excitedly nods. “I said breed me. Daddy.”
You chuckle. She’s exactly how you would picture a girl getting a sweet treat. Only this time the treat is in the form of a male reproductive organ.
You hold your fully erect shaft, tapping it several times onto her entrance. She giggles. She really is weak to tickles.
You pull your hips back a little. She looks at you, and you look at her. Your tip is already sticking. Eye contact is never broken as you slowly move forward. She gasps, a moan is next. She’s looking at you deeper, somehow. As deep as you are within her warmth.
“Mmhh,” she’s biting her bottom lips, trying so hard to maintain eye contact.
You can relate to her struggles, as you are literally one with each other. It takes a huge willpower to not throw your head back and groan in satisfaction. The pleasure she offers is unbeatable, and you are pretty sure she feels exactly the same.
“Fuck,” you hold it at the deepest point. You lean into her, cradling her jaw to give her a kiss. She does the same, swiftly moving her legs to wrap around you.
“Ah,” a symphony of moaning escapes our lips once they leave each other.
Jiyeon briefly stares at you within that inch of a distance, before releasing her hold from your jaw to throw her hands up. Her armpit’s exposed, complete with a taunting smirk. Jiyeon is stretching her back, arching her flexible body. You are forced to back away, shifting your gaze onto her alluring body. Damn.
You hold her cherry firmly, which earns a chuckle or two, before rocking your hips back and forth. Purposely setting the rhythm slow to see her squirm beneath you. Another sight of her you wouldn’t ever get tired of.
You draw this out for as long as you can. Holding your own desire to completely break her. That’s because you know your wife well. You know that when she can hold it off no longer, it will be herself that’s asking to be broken.
It doesn’t take that long.
“Argh!” she reacts to your tip hitting her deepest point, for the umpteenth time. You never pull any further than about ¾ of your length, letting most of it rest inside. Turning it up and around, stirring her up–body and mind alike.
“Fuck - me - seriously -,” she suddenly grabs your forearm, looking at you with a begging eye. “Please.”
You rock your hips one last time then move the grasp on her breast towards her arching back. Leaning back down, technically hugging her hot–both figuratively and literally–body. You position your mouth right beside her ear to whisper to her. “At your service my queen.”
The room blends into nothing but screams of pleasure and delight once you start to fuck her in the way a beast would. She moans, you groan, the claps, you both bite each other.
Time stretches itself, you feel like you’ve been fucking her for an eternity. At the same time, it feels too short for it to be over as you start to feel that familiar knot in your groin.
“Grrh. Shit.”
She notices. She stops her bites on your neck, tapping your cheek. You understand the signal, lifting your head to stick your forehead onto each other.
“Fuck! Inside, put that baby in me!”
You can’t muster an answer anymore. In response, you pound harder. Her legs locking your back as strong as your pummeling gets until eventually you can no longer move. You thrust one last time, the deepest so far.
You both scream into each other's mouth as you shoot ropes and ropes of baby batter right into her baby factory.
Then silence. Time stops itself altogether. Your world shrinks until Jiyeon is the only one left. Her happy face. Her hot breaths. Her heaving chest. Her limbs, shackling you. Her clammy surface. Her warm, tight, and filled pussy. She is your entire world.
Your hug on her gets tighter. You nuzzle into her neck for a brief moment before lifting your head to look straight at her.
Weakly, you muster. “You’ve been nothing but submissive and breedable tonight babe, thank-”
The echo of a slap is heard throughout the room. Alerting each and every living being in the vicinity with the sole exception of you. You couldn’t even get the chance to see Jiyeon’s tomato face as your consciousness left you way sooner than anybody thought.
“Ah…, oops…”
“Did I seriously pass out like that? From a single slap?”
Jiyeon laughs in the shower. “Yep! So weak! Who would’ve known?”
You laugh in accordance, before flushing the toilet. “Can I join?”
You can hear the water stop. “Sure. No sex though-” she looks surprised when you enter the shower. Jiyeon faces you while looking down and rubbing her lower belly, treating it like the world’s greatest treasure–it is, she is. “I wanna…, feel it. Y’know?”
“Yeah. I know.”
~
Three weeks later. Jiyeon suddenly rushes in the work room, in the middle of your meeting with clients from overseas. You glance at her over the computer screen.
“Honey! I missed my period!” she shouts.
You gasp, along with several clients inside the screen. You try to not show your immense elation. That said, you cannot lie to yourself. A big grin is there for everyone to see. Some who catch it on screen express congratulations.
You go and hug your happy wife as soon as the meeting is over.
~
“What is it honey?”
“I don’t feel like finishing this, it just, I dunno, tastes weird…, urp!”
“Okay, it’s fine. I’ll just ask for a box. Are you not hungry though? You’ve barely eaten anything since morning,” you pull the kimchi fried rice out of her sight. It is her favorite meal, and she’s barely taken a spoon or two.
“Well, I’ll be lying if I say I don’t, but I really don’t feel like eating anything right now,” she frowns.
“-that being said, I do crave a nutella sandwich.”
“Ah, okay. That’s, yeah, we have those at home, let’s go back-”
“-with onions. Raw, uncooked, onions,” her mouth flashes a nasty grin. Must be the pregnancy cravings.
“O-okay…, we can stop by a market on the way home…”
~
Eight weeks later. Jiyeon goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She’s been going at it, back and forth, for at least five times in every hour.
You raise your head from the pillow as she comes back to the bed. She turns on the bedlight.
“Honey, I think my breasts swell, it’s been really sore for a few days now. Look,” she’s pulling her pajamas up. They’re indeed swelling up.
“Oooh, my steak too juicy, my lobster too buttery-”
“Not funny.”
“Sorry. Well, how do you feel about it?”
“I dunno…, it just feels weird. I feel, kinda bad, I guess? But not so much that it makes me…, huft, I dunno babe.”
You sit straight up to hug her, still topless. “Hey, I’m always here for you okay?”
She hugs back. You can feel her shoulders slack. “Thanks. Ah, gotta pee again-”
“Need help with that?”
She laughs. Standing up, she farts right in front of your face then sticks out her tongue. “Bweeeh~”
~
Jiyeon is getting bigger, literally. Her entire body is swelling up. She notices it herself in one morning before going to work.
“Babe?”
“Yea?” you stick your head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth.
“I’m getting fat,” she shows you her belly. Her pants couldn’t even be zipped all the way up.
“...so?”
She frowns. Clearly unsatisfied with your response. “What do you mean ‘so’? I’m getting fat! Don’t you hate it?! Don’t you hate it when your wife is getting fat and ugly?!”
There are tears flowing through her cheeks. You take your toothbrush out of your mouth and approach her crying self. “What do you mean ugly?”
“...”
You step closer towards her. “You’re still Jiyeon. My wife. The love of my life. The girl I will ask out 10 times out of 10, no matter what conditions she’s in. You’re never ugly to my eyes honey, ever,” you open your arms.
Jiyeon jumps to it. Quietly sobbing on your chest as you pat her back.
~
It is right around the time for the first trimester to end. Your wife has been looking rough all throughout. You’ve been regularly taking her to Sins, a GP(General Practitioner), since the fifth week, they say this is the time for her symptoms to get worse–worst, even. As a good husband–and how every husband should–you’ve been patiently attending to her every need.
As she wakes up this morning, you’re already in the kitchen. A pregnant woman needs an adequate amount of nutrition to sustain both the body of the mother and the needs of the child. It’s a bit complicated on this front, since Jiyeon’s taste buds have been everything but normal. She’s barely eating anything but her cravings. According to her, all foods taste bland and weirdly metallic–except the food she craves. To tackle that, you’ve been cooking in small portions. Eating small but frequently really helps her to take in those much needed nutritions.
Today, the menu is baked salmon with mashed potato and stir fried asparagus. Jiyeon entered the kitchen looking beat up. She hasn’t had a good night sleep for some time now, bladder problems.
“Mornin’ babe,” she groggily says, almost missing the kitchen counter as she’s putting her arms down.
“Morning! Feeling good?”
“Nope,” she slumps. Her sighs audible through the counter.
“Wanna go out this week? We can go to the beach, been quite a while since last time,” you present her your cooking. Not the best, but you did what you could.
She raises her head to smile at you. “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” she lazily grabs a fork and takes a chunk out of the salmon, wincing once it enters her mouth. Though, she still finished her plate in the end.
You can only smile in response.
~
Jiyeon is well into three weeks of the second trimester. Her tummy is getting bigger. The baby bump is getting more and more apparent as time goes. Weirdly enough, she’s really, really energized for the past two weeks or so. Gone were the days of her in the gloomy, dark aura.
“Babe!”
“Yea?” you lift your head up from the computer screen. Jiyeon is sneaking into your side in the work room.
“Let’s go to the beach tomorrow!” it’s Friday. A weekend date would be a nice change of pace.
You smile earnestly in agreement. Also remembering what she said the day before when you’re consulting Sins the GP.
.
”The mood swings might reduce, conversely, her appetite might increase a lot as the placenta fully took over the role as the baby’s main source of food instead of the yolk sac within the uterus like it was before. But mister husband over here should still be cautious at all times, the growth spurt of a baby is usually very quick in the second trimester-”
“So can we have sex now?” Jiyeon says, out of bumfuck nowhere, without an ounce of shame.
.
You almost spit your coffee remembering that moment.
The beach looks lovely. Almost as lovely as your wife laying beside you, without a single piece of clothing on her pregnant body. You two are lying on the sand, covered with nothing but a thin piece of blanket.
You’re spooning her, just as naked as she is.
“Don’t. Move!” she orders, there’s an elderly couple passing by. The grandpa looks at you for a second and immediately gives you a wink. Dude knows what’s up.
You’re already halfway inside, actually. Much to her insistence.
Recalling it, it was her that wanted to do this.
.
“You bring extra clothes right?”
“Uh, yeah? Do you wanna swim there? I mean, the doctor says it’s good to be physical, swimming is a whole lot of that.”
“Yeyeyeah. Swimming, sure. Noot noot,” she chuckled to herself as she packed up her clothes earlier in the afternoon.
Fast forward to now, you’re fucking your pregnant wife. At the beach, with buttloads of people around, with nothing but a flimsy sheet as a cover. Jiyeon is hardcore.
It would be wrong to say that you don’t appreciate this though. You’ve been sexually deprived for a little more than three months. Which you initially have no qualms about, until she asks you about it. Until she orders you to get rid of your swimwear. Until she told you to fuck her from behind. Because now, you feel like you are at your hardest, biggest erection of your entire life.
She’s not that much different either. Ever since you shifted her bikini thong aside, she’s already drenched. To say that she’s turned on by all of this would be such a massive understatement. Your wife couldn’t even properly speak as you inserted your whole shaft. She’s immediately squirting on you, which you take as a signal to start moving.
The entire ordeal has to be kept in secret, somehow. None of you dare to make a noise, all the more a moan. Jiyeon even has to cover her mouth as she’s squirting earlier.
“You dirty, dirty mother!” you whisper into her shuddering ear as you start moving.
You fuck her in a pace no more than a measly rustle. Nonetheless, the sensation is heaven. Her walls have never been this tight, this hot. You hold on to her swelling breast, twisting her enlarging nipples as you cork your cock inside her cave.
“Fuck,” a moan finally escapes your mouth. You’re close.
Jiyeon can only whimper as she pushes her hips back ever so slightly, chasing her own high as much as you are. You move your hands toward her hips, pushing it back. Your own hips meet it in the middle, crashing forward. Her hand accidentally slipped.
“AH!”
You immediately cover it again. Every pair of eyes focus on your place for a slight second. Shit. You’re throbbing, she’s tightening.
“Shoot!” a kid shouts from afar.
Shoot. Your dick erupts inside.
Shit!. Jiyeon rolls her eyes back as she’s squirting the second time, much stronger than before.
Your body shudders, as seismic as hers.
~
“That was insane,” you say, one hand on the wheels, one hand holding hers.
“We were. I didn’t think you would agree to fuck me right then and there,” she responds, chuckles in between.
“Heh. Well, you asked for it.”
“Don’t give me that! You’re already hard when I put on the bikini back in the house!” she shoots you a teasing look.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be honest. It’s been awhile okay? Can’t hold myself back when you’re wearing something like that. Absolute Cinema,”
“Haha-hands on the wheels you idiot!”
You almost swerve, almost. “Kidding~”
“You fucker-, that was not funny!” she’s seriously angry.
Gulp. “Sorry.”
She throws her face aside, but not letting go of your hands. You’re gonna spend the remaining trip in silence. Or at least you think so before she suddenly, excitedly, jumps on her seat.
“Honey!”
“W-what?”
“It’s moving!”
“What?”
“The baby is kicking!”
~
It’s late into the half of Jiyeon’s pregnancy. And you’re presented with both good news and a bad one.
Good news first. As Jiyeon’s tummy keeps swelling impossibly larger, the doctor recommends you to take a more accurate sonography. Surprise, surprise, Jiyeon is carrying a twin! (presumably)It’s a boy and a girl too! She’s never been more elated to hear something before. While you on her side is crying, the tears of happiness wouldn’t stop coming out.
The bad news is, well, it’s a twin. Jiyeon’s body will be shocked, without a shadow of doubt. Albeit she’s well toned and flexible from her ballet training, Jiyeon is still nowhere near a big girl. Her physiology isn’t exactly the most suited to birth a child, since her hips are actually thinner than most, let alone a twin that is. The only thing the two of you can do to mitigate the risk from birthing the children is to let Jiyeon train her body as best as she could, in this remaining half of pregnancy.
You could only hope for the best for her.
~
Gharlkl!
You pat your wife’s back. She’s slumped in front of the toilet. It has been a rough few weeks. She hasn’t had much sleep, if any. Jiyeon has stopped coming to work ever since the twentieth week. You too spent the entirety of your days accompanying her. You have never felt more grateful for the fact that your work is mostly done from the convenience of your own home. So you can spend more time by her side.
“It’s okay honey, I can-urp!”
You rub her back gently. Your other hand is binding her long hair off her neck, keeping it clean from both the toilet surface and the splash of everything.
You two spend the next 10 minutes in the bathroom.
“You think I can do it?”
You look at her by your side. She’s sleeping to her right, facing you(it is recommended for a pregnant woman to sleep by their side). You don’t answer, but swipe the strands of hairs off her forehead. She’s such a mess, so fragile, so small, so pure.
“I’ve been thinking, y’know. What if I don’t make it? Will you be able to handle everything alone? I mean, it’s a twin, a boy and a girl. You could hardly do housework as it is, let alone do those AND take care of the kids-” she laughs.
“Haaah…, you’ll be overwhelmed…,
-honey? I’m serious, in the off chance that I’m not surviving, I want you to know that it’s completely okay to marry another-”
You hug her. You don’t need to hear those. You don’t want to hear it. Not now. Not ever.
“You will make it honey. I swear it. We will take care of the kids together.”
Silence. No voice comes out of anybody’s mouth after. You can feel warm wet spots on your chest. She can maybe feel those same wet spots on her forehead.
Neither slept that night.
~
“Huufffff. Haaaap. Huuufffffffftt,” Jiyeon is on the mat, doing some light yoga with a trainer in front and you behind her. You have transformed the garage into a makeshift homegym. The car can park elsewhere, lots of parking space in the city anyway.
She has a scheduled workout now. Four to five times a week. One day consisting of yoga and stretching and three consisting of weightlifting, minimum. To your eyes, she’s been cruising through everything, easily.
“Haaaaahhhh~” Jiyeon sits while slumping her body forward in a perfect split. Her pregnant tummy is huge, but she’s still as flexible as ever.
“That concludes the training for today! Do you feel good, miss Jiyeon?” the trainer approaches her, gently tapping her shoulder.
“Y-yes ma’am! Never felt better,” she shoots her a smile. The trainer smiles back in relief.
“That’s good then. I’ve been through pregnancy myself, and I can tell you that the decision to workout, even in the middle of it, is never bad! Oh, you’re on week 30 now right?”
Jiyeon is slowly nodding. The trainer continues to yap for at least 20 minutes before she’s off. Your ears are burning up by the end of it, and you’re pretty sure Jiyeon shares the sentiment.
“Phew. What a woman honestly,” she slowly throws her body on the mat.
“Yeah. It's insane. I bet she doesn’t even notice that her body is very buff. Nien, was it? Cool name. Would be even cooler if she’s more socially aware though.”
You both laugh together, filling the empty space with joy. At least, that’s what she wants you to think.
You understand her. She probably understands that you do. But she has been giving nothing but fake laughs, fake smiles, fake everything. She keeps telling everyone that everything is okay. Everyone believes her, too. With the sole exception of you.
You know for a fact that she is actually terrified.
~
It’s week 35. A little more than a month before what many consider as a normal birth. Jiyeon has never looked so rough. She can barely pass through each day with your help, let alone her workout schedules.
But, she already gained what you think is a mother’s energy. She never gives up when it comes to the babies interest. She eats what’s considered good for their nutrition, regardless of the fact that she almost always vomits it out–then eats some more. She trains very hard, regardless of the fact that her body is literally breaking to accommodate the babies in her. She even helps you out in preparing the kids room, something the two of you had planned long before she even got pregnant.
“What do you think our boy would like?” she’s sitting beside the kids' bed this evening, instead of resting like what everyone else told her to. Jiyeon is looking at you while resting her head on the edge of it.
You look at her from the top of the ladder, currently placing the decoration. It’s an ornament of classic games from your olden days. You like games, so it’s only natural for your son to like it too, right? “I dunno, games perhaps?”
She laughs. Her voice so free, her expression so serene. Jiyeon is so beautiful.
“That’s such a you answer, y’know. Heh.”
“Well that’s because that, right there, is my son!” you jump off the ladder. Landing right in front of your lovely wife. You give her shoulders a rowdy massage. “He might even make annoying his mother as his hobby too, who knows~”
You immediately get a slap. Right on your balls.
Urgh.
You roll around the floor, squirming in front of her laughing face. “That’s a critical hit damn.”
She laughs harder. “Yeah, I would not be surprised if our daughter will be the type to discipline her own father.”
Suddenly she groans. A guttural sound straight from her core. It sounds painful.
“Honey! Are you okay?!” you shot up from the ground to tend her hunched body.
“Nggrrrhh. Cramps. It’s all over my body. Shit, that’s so fucking painful. Fuck!”
You give her a hand to hold. She’s going at it. By the end of those painful moments, you find your hand bleeding from her grip.
~
Week 36. You’ve been regularly going for check ups. It’s getting more and more frequent, contrary to Jiyeon’s struggle to move around. It gets harder to mobilize her past the third trimester. She feels pain everywhere and every time she moves.
She doesn’t even want to go to the doctor today. You have no choice but to oblige. One look at her and you realize that she’s in massive pain for now.
“Let me rest for the day, yeah?” she’s laying sideways on the couch.
You nod.
“It’s so painful, being a mother. Ah, no no, a soon to be mother, y’know?” she weakly laughs.
You nod, slower.
“Why aren’t you answering? Answer me babe…
I-I, I'm scared. I regret this. I regret being pregnant. I don’t want to be a mother! I-
-Idon’twannadie. Idon’twannadie. Idon’twannadie!”
You jump forward to hug her. She’s crying uncontrollably in your hold. You swear on your life you will protect hers.
~
“My water broke! Babe my water fucking broke! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!”
You wake up immediately to search for the car key. Shit. The car is parked across the town square, in the public parking hall. Why didn’t you bring it back home when you had the chance?!
“Babe! Hurry the fuck up! Aaaaaaaarghh!”
You panic. Theoretically, you could run to fetch the car, but that would take no less than 20 minutes. Shit! Should you borrow from the neighbour? They know your wife is pregnant, but then you look at the clock. It is 2am. Fuck!
“BABE!” she shouts. Already sitting up on the bed.
You hurriedly reach for your phone. The GP. That is an option. You call the number, Sins doesn’t respond. FUCK!
You’re desperate. Jiyeon is groaning in pain behind your back. You say fuck it, just call your neighbours. ANY of them would do.
The first choice is Star. The chef across the street. You call his number, to no avail.
You don’t give up. There’s one right beside your house. You never know what his name is, so you name his contact as Duckduck–there’s two big statues of duck in front of the house for whatever reason. You call his number, ‘the number you’re trying to reach is not available right now, leave a message-’’.
Holy fucking shit that’s 0-3. Your wife is starting to cry. It’s been almost 10 minutes since her water broke.
Then you remember a trusted gentleman. An old friend of yours you can always rely on. Emrys. You call his number.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Click,
“Hello?”
“YES!”
“Holy, I know you miss me but chill out my guy. Don’t you have a wife or something-”
“EMRYS CAN YOU PICK US UP MY WIFE IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH! PLEASE!”
“Oh shit. I’ll be on my way! Just, hang on a minute aight?”
“THANK YOU SO MUCH.”
You turn to your wincing wife. “It will be here soon honey, the ride. Let’s do a breathing exercise, okay?”
She nods quickly, biting her bottom lips.
“Breathe in - breathe out - breathe in - breathe out.”
It’s not even five minutes later that you hear a honk from upfront. Emrys has come to the rescue.
You walk outside, Jiyeon is on your left, her hand is holding your body, the other her own stomach.
“Oh shit,” Emrys' eyes widened as he sees you walking with your wife through the door. Never in his life that he’d expect your wife’s tummy to be that big. He immediately gets out of the car to open the door to the backseat.
You and him help your wife enter the car, with much difficulty.
“St. Peter Hospital. Please hurry Em.”
“Will do.”
The ride to the hospital is nothing but chaos. Since Emrys is speeding the shit out of his car, the bumps are felt quite clearly on the passengers. Which in turn hurts Jiyeon’s already hurting tummy. The three of you never stop screaming through the entire trip.
“HERE, WE’VE ARRIVED!” Emrys shouts as he unlocks the door.
“THANK YOU!” you respond.
“AAAAARRGHHHHHH!” Jiyeon…responds.
The hospital crews are thankfully very quick. Immediately bringing in a wheelchair as soon as they see a pregnant woman.
“Should I wait?” Em asks.
“No, this much is enough buddy, thank you so much. You literally saved her life,” you dap him up, it is the crispiest dap to ever dap in the history of dap ups.
~
Your grip never leaves her fist. You waddle through the halls as she is wheeled by the nurse into the LDR Room (Labour, Delivery, Recovery).
The nurse, with your help, positions Jiyeon to her most preferred birth position. She chooses sitting. The doctor arrives not long after, immediately examining her vagina.
“It’s still very early in the labor process, sir, ma’am. The cervix has opened, but only for 4cm. It will open some more, but it might take quite a while. Expect about-” he examines Jiyeon’s body one more time. “5-6 hours. You can rest in the meantime. Now if you’ll excuse me,” the doctor bows to you two.
The nurse does some cleaning here and there, and brings her the birthing clothes to wear later–or now, her choice–before leaving us alone in the room.
“Are you scared?” it’s Jiyeon. Her breaths slowly stabilize.
“Excuse me, miss pretty. I’m not the one that’s pregnant.”
A laughter, small, brief, earnest.
“I am. I am so, so, so, so, so scared right now. Don’t leave me, okay? Don’t let go of me,” she tightens her grip on your hand. You envelop her tiny, trembling hand with the entirety of your palms.
“Never. I’m here honey, I’ll always be here. No need to be scared alright?”
A rosy hue is apparent on her cheeks. “Kissies.”
“Right now?”
“I don’t see a time more fitting than now, honestly-”
You’re not letting her finish the sentence. Your lips wrap themselves around hers. You can feel a bit of the pain she’s been enduring these past few months. The taste of struggles, sour, bitter, metallic. The kiss lasts no longer than the minute passes, but somehow, you find yourself already in the next step of the birthing process.
~
“When it’s time to push, we say push! When it’s time to breathe, we say breathe! Is that understood?”
Jiyeon nods. Her face is paler than the nurse’s gloves. She looks at you with a pleading eyes. A twinge of regret could still be seen from within, but it is overshadowed by the joy, love, and everything else in between. You have only seen that look once before. It was your marriage.
You give your hand to hers, something familiar to hold. It will help the mom feel better, the doctor says.
“Push!”
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!”
“Breathe!”
“Huuuuffffttttt.”
“Push!”
“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
You honestly have to hold yourself back from screaming as well, as Jiyeon is breaking your fingerbones like it’s a breadstick.
The process goes on and on for about 30 minutes.
“The baby is out! It’s a she!”
You sneak a glance at your wife, she’s already looking at you, smiling. Then you see the baby, still covered in all the liquids. She’s crying.
“Thank God.” Jiyeon sighs.
“Now for the twin!”
“Oh God whatthefuck.” Jiyeon sighs(angrily).
“Push!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHKK!”
~
“Oh my god, they’re beautiful!” tears spring up on your face. You’re holding the babies. The boy is on your right hand, while your left is holding the girl. They’re crying. Full of love, full of life.
“Aw look! The girl’s got your eyes! And our boy’s got your nose, hahah. What should we name them honey?” you look up. Jiyeon doesn’t respond. Understandable. She needed rest, she’s literally been fighting for her life for the past hour. You give her hand a squeeze. It’s cold.
“Sir, would you kindly step back. Now. And please put the baby into the incubator, thank you sir.”
The turn of events happened so fast. You’re not entirely sure what happened. Suddenly you’re outside. Waiting in suffocating, terrifying silence. The last thing you can subtly hear coming out from the doctors mouth was;
“Patient is going through a severe trauma from the blood loss due to the fourth degree vaginal tear. Immediate care is needed. We’re moving her into the ICU.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tosh : Its our graduation next week dad, can you come?
Dad : Of course son
Yeon : Duh, of course dad can, i told you. Jeez. believe in your dad, AND your big sis for once.
Tosh : For the last time, youre only older than me for TWO MINUTES Do NOT call me lil bro. Ever.
Yeon : Yeah. thats a whole ass two minutes older than you. Lil bro.
Tosh : YOU! DAD, GROUND HER!
Dad : Im gonna pretend i didnt see anything…
Yeon : :p
Tosh : URGH
Yeon : Anyway, isn’t it the exact same day as mom’s birthday?
Dad : Yeah
Tosh : oh really? I didnt notice sorry. Happy birthday momm!
Yeon : Happy birthday mom.
Dad : Thanks kid, you two are the best thing that ever happened to me. Pretty sure if your moms watching, she would agree with me from up there.
Tosh : Aw, suddenly? Thanks dadd
Yeon : You’re also the best dad. Ever. Thanks dad.
~~~~~~
Writing this has been fun! Special thanks to : @toshyun for introducing Jiyeon to me, @sinswithpleasure for the extra info on tripleS, @limemrys for being such a cutie || special mention : @starconstruction @ducktoo
Cheers!
I think some softies can't let go of this image of debut era Chuu in their heads, they can't fathom her wanting to do sexy/mature concepts 😭 (same with Yeojin actually, she's 4 years older than Vivi was at debut but people act like she's still a teenager sometimes)
sigh yeah idk let em do what they want tbh we're all just watching anyway
Chuu's drama already finished filming and is apparently in the postproduction stage, so It'll probably be relased very soon. Maybe July-August? September at the latest imo
someone's gonna leak it from the paid platform when it's out probably. Can't wait to see it :DDD
