There has been a growing negativity in this community lately, specifically here on Tumblr that I think needs addressing. Iām tired of seeing the community at each otherās throats and my lack of communication on it isnāt helping.Ā
What was once people posting criticism and feedback has now turned into extremely harsh judgment, personal opinions and outright nasty name calling. That shit is NOT ok. Thatās not criticism, itās unfiltered judgement and hate. You can talk about how I make videos and my job but trying to dictate how I live my personal life and who is in it is crossing a very big line. As soon as you start telling people what to do because of how YOU feel, thatās a really big red flag. My personal life and my relationships in it are not entertainment and shouldnāt be treated as some sort of reality TV. You donāt have to like it and thatās perfectly fine too. I know Iām not perfect and Iāve never pretended to be but sometimes it feels like people put such huge expectations and stanards on my behaviour that it was always bound to let you down at some point. I used to share a lot about myself with you guys. I was incredibly open and talked about everything that was on my mind. This led to more people opening up to me and relating to me heavily which was great, for a while. Eventually I started getting burdened by other peopleās mentalities and problems and being the type of person that I am I empathised a lot and tried to help. Not to invalidate what those people were going through but itās hard to take on other peopleās thoughts everyday when I struggled with my own already. Eventually this mentally burned me out and affected my life more than Iād like to admit. Iāve since gotten to a better balance and have closed off more of myself. Not because I care less or donāt want to interact with the community but itās better for me mentally and thatās always been priority no.1 as it should be with all of you too.Ā
Iāve seen people say that I have less energy in videos now and that must mean Iām depressed and hate my job but itās really just me growing up and out of that version of myself. Iām stil positive and Iām still energetic, I just donāt go to 100% all the time anymore because I donāt need to. Iāve matured and Iāve grown a lot and Iām almost 30, of course Iām not going to have the exact same energy I did when I started making vids. Iām not trying to prove myself constantly anymore. Thatās either something you come to terms with and grow/mature with me or thereās plenty of other youtubers out there that will likely fit what you want out of them. Sticking around and trying to force me back to that place or destroying the community because you donāt like it is NOT ok. Thereās been so much minsinformation thrown around about me too and if you read or hear enough lies about someone, youāll eventually start to believe them. Toxicity is enticing and spreads really easily. Put yourself in other peopleās shoes more before you post stuff.Ā
Iāve also seen the claim that I repeat jokes too much now and they go on too long but this is feels really misinformed because my channel has always had running jokes that went on a long time. Happy Wheels and Turbo Dismount were both series that had like 5 jokes each repeated for a VERY long time. Now is no different.Ā
I used to blame myself heavily for the rift that happened in the community but itās not all on me. Iām just one person and I can point you in the right direction but I shouldnāt have to come back every few months to make posts like this just to make sure people stop arguing and causing drama. There is some really childish and petty behaviour at play that I have never endorsed or encouraged. I shouldnāt have to be here babysitting the community all the time. Iām sorry that I havenāt spoken up sooner and I know this post will likely make some of the more toxic parts of the community flare up even more but Iām tired of feeling like absolute shit because of this stuff. Lifeās too short for this shit. I want to have fun with you guys again, not get bogged down in all the tiny details of everything thatās happening.
This community means a LOT to me and I will defend it to the end
