the guy i’m talking to rn is really into avatar and he just asked me if he could read my avatar fic. however that means he will find my ao3 and then my writing tumblr. where there is a one shot posted that is based on him. what do i do
pairing . college au - astrophysics major! gojo x reader . fake relationship !
summary : with an upcoming final in your astronomy class, you are left with no choice but to get a tutor to help you pass the exam, praying you manage to relearn a semester worth of formulas in a few weeks. but it turns out that the complicated equations might not be your new cause of stress, but because of how cocky and insufferable your tutor, satoru gojo, is who agreed on helping you only if you become his fake girlfriend to get his ex back, just when you think you think you have something real going on, things goes downhill when his ex actually wants him back, making you lose all confidence. now with a heartbreak, acing your final is the least of your worries.
warnings / tags 𝜗𝜚 fem! reader, fake relationship, fluff, smut, small angst, college au, set in california, jealousy, insecurities, profanity, reader is sleep deprived, gojo is filthy rich, year age gap.
word count 5k
stellar collision.
an event between two stars that collide with one another, merging, and becoming an even larger and brighter star.
that’s the only thing you could remember learning in your astronomy class. which wasn’t good, not with your final exam approaching in two months. you'd look back on notes you've taken hoping to recall anything, but instead you find unfinished formulas that you were too lazy to finish copying down, and your awful handwriting that belongs in the museum of egypt antiquities.
"get a tutor."
everyone would tell you. but you're just a lucky girl who managed to get a good scholarship to even attend this school and you've been living off of refrigerated meals and energy drinks for the past three months and the doctors have warned you that you're one drink away from having a heart attack. the point is, you didn't have money to hire a tutor.
you'd skim through the advertisements they'd put up on the library bulletin board and you were right, every tutor available on campus charged more than 60$ an hour. how much greedier could they be?
just then, a hand holding a paper reaching up to the board startled you out of your thoughts.
"oh, sorry." the boy chuckled. you recognized him instantly. its was the boy from both your physics and astronomy class who always felt the need to correct the teacher even in small mistakes, making you fight the urge to just snap at him. his glasses slipped a bit down the bridge of his nose as he pinned the paper.
it read, "star-gazing. october 22nd @ 11 pm."
"you interested?" he noticed you staring, which you quickly answered with a shake of your head.
"I'm more interested in figuring out how I'm going to pay for a tutor." your eyes traveled back up to the tutoring services paper. he did the same, letting out a hum. "for what?"
"astronomy.." you mumbled out embarrassed.
"do we share a class? I haven't seen you before."
'yes, gojo, we actually do. I let you borrow my pencil and you never gave it back!' you wanted to say.
"I think so." you figured that'd be a better response. you looked at the paper he pinned again, figuring it was from his club or something. thats when the final puzzle piece clicked in. he was good in astronomy and physics.
"hey uh.. if its not too much to ask but-"
"sorry, not interested. my girl just broke up with me and I'm still going through the uh, withdrawals and the heartbreak." he placed a hand on his chest almost in appreciation that he thought that you would ask for his number.
your brows furrowed. "what?"
"yeah I know. said I paid more attention to astrophysics than her. not my fault that hubbles law was too sexy."
okay, what is up with this guy.
you knew he was annoying with how he acted in class as mr-know-it-all, but you never thought he would be so full of himself. you don't blame the poor girl that was in a relationship with him, you'd break up with him immediately if even as so much he mentioned a formula being sexy.
"I was going to ask if you could tutor me."
"oh."
that was huge blow to his ego.
you both stood there in awkward silence until he spoke again. "what about these guys? not your type?" he motioned over to the names plastered on the tutoring sign up paper.
"not with the way they're charging me, no."
another gap of awkward silence passed.
"I mean, yeah, I can tutor you. feel like it'd look great for me. you know, i'm trying to get an internship with nasa right now-"
"you'll actually tutor me?" you interrupted him before he could being to ramble.
he adjusted his glasses with a small smile on his face. "mhm, we can start off with the basics and build our way up to where we're on now. i'm guessing you need help with everything to pass the final, right?"
"right. but um, I don't have enough money to pay you.."
gojo let out a 'pfft' almost as if you just told him the worlds funniest joke ever. "baby please, I don't need your pocket change. i'm rich enough as it is." you cringed internally at the pet name and overall at how full of himself he was.
"seriously, no strings attached. unless you count the string theory I'll be teaching you later."
he reached up to the poster paper, plucking at the bottom of it to hand you the tear off tab summarizing the event and date. "my house at five every thursday and friday. we can begin tutoring this week if you want, so two days from now."
you looked down at the piece of paper he handed you. a silent request for you to be there.
"... there's more to this isn't there? there is no way you're agreeing into becoming my tutor with nothing in return"
he dragged a hand down his face letting out a sigh, taking a step closer, lowering his voice.
"I need you to become my fake girlfriend.. just for a couple of months." your eyes widened as soon as his words reached your ears. "excuse me?" you whispered back.
" like I said, me and my girl.. we broke up a while ago.. and, I miss her like a bitch. so, I need you to help me get her back by making her jealous."
"who's your ex?"
"nova james."
your stomach dropped. nova is a sorority girl, the biggest on the campus who had enough power to ruin ones life with a single instagram story. you shook your head. "nova? she'll start a huge rumor of me if she finds out we're "dating!'"
"oh sweet girl, if I didn't know who you were a couple minutes ago, i'm sure no one else does. you don't seem popular anyways, who's there to turn their backs on you?" you could feel your eye begin to twitch. who does this asshole think he is?
"you're one to talk. I didn't even know you were dating nova in the first place."
his brows lifted slightly, looking down for a moment then returning his gaze towards you. "yeah, she didn't like being public about our relationship.. said it would get in between her and being a sorority. if she see's that i'm dating a, no offense, nobody like you, she'll flip."
your felt your heart sink. a nobody. feeling the insult hit harder than it should have and he takes notice immediately.
"I'm kidding I just.. look I didn't mean it in a bad way it's just.. you're really quiet. I don't think anyone really knows who you are, so she'll be surprised I decided to go for someone thats opposite of her."
you thought about it for a moment. you really needed to pass this class, and if it meant wrapping yourself in something that could blow up in your face any minute, then so be it.
"alright."
-
gojo waited for you outside of class to head to his house and begin to study for your final as well as make a list of rules for the whole fake dating deal.
"hey" he waved at you once you walked out the door. "ready to go?"
"yeah, just got to make a stop by my locker."
you both made your way down the hallway, earning a few curious glances here and there before you reached your locker, spinning the dial out of pure muscle memory, yanking the door open hitting gojo in the process.
he yelped a bit whispering an 'ow', rubbing his chest with a pout.
"what a rude, bratty, horrible mannered girl..using her locker as if she didn't just abuse me.." he said, peering over your shoulder, watching as you placed your textbook in the locker along with the many other folders you had squeezed in there.
"do you always narrate peoples lives like david attenborough?"
"uhh no, but I can do a good british accent?" gojo said proudly. "wanna hear it?"
"no thanks." you slammed the door closed.
if his car didn't impress you enough, which was hard to when he was trying to sneak his hand in between your legs with you pushing it away every second.-
"i'm trying to get into character!" he argued.
"there's no one watching us pervert!"
-his house definitely did. it was a three floored antique with a huge garden with all the plants you could think of up in front, not accessible without getting through the ginormous gate first.
"nice house.." you complimented, still in awe, taking a closer look at the pond full of fish once you got out of his car.
he closed the drivers door, locking the car. he joined you where you stood near the lake. "why thank you, let's head inside, m'kay?"
the inside was even more absurd. expensive looking furniture, shelves lined with books regarding science, and large framed pictures of what you assumed were his parents.
"we should go into the library. can't risk you snooping in my bedroom and stealing my boxers."
you visible cringed. "um, yeah, I don't want your skid marked stained undies."
"aw shucks."
he opened the massive doors of the library, the scent of books hitting you as you walked in. "take a seat over there.." gojo pointed at the window nook.
you obliged, setting your bag down next to you after pulling out your study guide.
satoru flopped down next to your feet as well, looking to his side where his study desk was. a few books he was reading and a framed pictured of him and his ex that he still hasn't taken down, sat there untouched.
it was taken on one of their first dates, the big smiles stretched out on both their faces. he missed her a lot, he needed her like the earth needs the sun. but the sun doesn't need the earth.
thats why they broke up.
he forced his eyes on something else, eventually landing on you.
"so," he clapped his hands, starting you a bit. "we should set some rules up for the whole dating thing." he reached to grab a pen from your bag, snatching your notebook from your hand.
he jotted down on big bold letters 'RULES, for our fake relationship :p'
"is the face necessary?" you asked.
"very."
no real feelings
no telling anyone it's fake.
"this includes your little friend with a weird obsession over crystals." he mumbled, pointing at you with the pen."
"I don't have a friend who likes crystals..?"
"huh." he looked down.
"um, add that we're not allowed any touching unless it's in public spaces only." you offered. it'd be unnecessary if you held hands if there was no one to show the act to.
gojo let out a sigh. "thats fair."
3. no intimacy - unless in public
4. come to my star-gazing hangouts
"I don't need to do that.."
"you don't. but, it'll make the act more believable. nova never came to them so if you start showing up to things that matter to me, it should hurt her at least."
your eyebrows furrowed. "if she didn't bother doing things you liked, she's definitely not worth trying to get back. she was your girlfriend... shouldn't she be interested in your interests?"
gojo stilled at that, almost as if your words put some reality into him, pen hovering over the paper for a second. "I never asked her to so.. it never bothered me."
lies.
"we're both different.. that's why we worked well together."
"but you still managed to break up."
"I don't need advice from you right now, all I need is for you to help me get her back. that's it."
his tone hurt you. "..whatever." your voice grew quiet.
"i'm sorry. I just.. it's hard not to keep loving a girl who you believe you'd spend your life with."
silence took over the two of you, making it so that only the soft tap of the rain on the window could be heard behind you.
"all I'm saying is that she's not worth it if she never looked at the stars with you."
"... think the list is done." he cleared his voice.
you nodded, holding the paper close to your face, no thanks to your horrible vision that has been worsening the more you forced your eyes to read textbooks at late hours.
you noticed he put his signature at the bottom, fighting a small smile from showing on your face.
"can I see the pen?"
his hand reached towards yours, putting the blue inked utensil in your warm palm. your signature was now next to his, definitely not as neat as his writing.
you turned around the paper to show him. "guess the deal is sealed."
"not yet." gojo placed his hand on your cheek, leaning up to place his lips on yours. your breath caught in your throat, brain having difficulty registering what was going on.
so much was happening all at once.
his expensive cologne was filling your nose, cold thumb rubbing your cheekbone, and mint flavored lips kissing yours. they detached from you for a brief moment before going back in with another kiss moaning into your mouth as the kiss grew deeper.
"yeah baby.." he whispered.
you finally came back to your senses, pushing him away.
"now the deal is sealed." his voice was rough. "you just broke rule number two!" you quickly wiped the taste of his lips from yours with the back of your palm.
the bastard only shrugged, leaning back on his elbows.
"so, where should we start studying, hm?"
after an hour of memorizing formulas and practicing them, you realized that gojo wasn't a bad tutor at all.
he was patient with you, not making fun when you got the wrong answer, instead, encouraging you even more. he leaned in, tapping the textbook with his pen. "so close.. but, here it's written in maxwell's law."
at some point, you stopped looking up at the wall praying that it;d be over soon. you felt like you could actually understand something for the first time since the semester began.
he watched as you corrected your answer with a soft hum.
"good job.." his praise made you bite the inside of your cheek. you watched as he leaned against where you sat sighing loudly, patting your thigh. "alright, thats it for today."
you nodded in agreement. "my brain's fried."
"m'kay, same time tomorrow." he reminded you, standing up on his wobbly feet. as he stretched, you noticed how muscular he actually was underneath his usual polo's. your breath hitched, forcing yourself to pack up your things.
"mhm! okay, see you then. thank you!"
"now hold on.. I'm driving you back to the school."
"oh, you dont have to-"
"babe, it's seven and the sky is dark already. I don't want you being in an uber, like, ever." something about the way he said it made any idea of protesting die out in your throat.
"who would be my fake girl then if your pretty ass got killed, hm?"
"wow, thought you actually cared about me for a hot second."
"I do. now, c'mon."
you hurriedly followed him, swinging your bag over your shoulder. he opened your door for you, but didn't close it behind you, walking over to his side.
"can I hold your thigh now?"
"stop breaking the rules!"
-
it's only been a day and news has already spread like wildfire. sure, satoru wasn't as popular as the frat boys but he was still well known, so when the people found out mr. know-it-all got a girlfriend, it was the talk of the week.
and it wasn't long before it reached the target.
"I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he would ever get together with a nobody like her." nova mumbled underneath her breath to her pair of minions that followed her around like desperate puppies waiting to receive any scraps from their owners meals. her eyes followed you and satoru, and the stupid sight of the both of you holding hands, talking and laughing at something.
the two other girls nodded like bobbleheads. "maybe she cursed him. there's no way he would ever leave you for something that looks like just came out of the um.." she turned to the blonde next to her, asking for help to finish up her insult. "like the girl from 'the ring'!" the two of them nodded again. "with hair like that, I wouldn't be surprised if she was secretly a witch!" the group laughed like hyenas, their ear piercing laughter echoing throughout the busy hallway.
nova's eyes narrowed. the way he looked at you was different. it looked real. and it definitely was never a look he ever gave her in their two years of dating.
"she's looking" he leaned down to whisper into your ear, glasses moving down his nose bridge.
you discreetly took a glance around the hallway until your eyes settled on a familiar raven haired girl. "yup.." gojo placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "see ya after class then sweetheart. don't forget your physics textbook, we'll be needing it for the study session later today."
you gave him a nod. "got it. see you later then."
after adjusting your bag, you walked into your classroom unaware of the way nova's jaw was tightening each second.
"you moved on quick." she said to gojo when he passed by her. nova's words made him stop in his tracks, looking over his shoulder to meet the back of her head.
"... was I that easy to move on from, satoru?" it took everything in him not to lower himself on his knees in front of her whispering soft praises and apologies.
"you dumped me, nova. thanks to that I finally found a girl that appreciates me."
"I appreciated you."
"in what ways? hiding me away from everyone other than close friends who you threatened not to talk about our relationship?" he was fully turned around to face her.
"that's not appreciating."
"whatever, hope the best for you and your sad of excuse girlfriend." she walked away from the scene.
"and yeah that's basically what happened." gojo retold what happened to you in the comfort of his room instead of his library. you could finally see that not only was he a nerd, but a full on geek. he had figures and manga neatly displayed on shelves.
"I'm glad you stood up for yourself."
he was laying down on his bed, arm tucked underneath his head waiting for you to finish writing out your formulas. "yeah?" he asked softly.
"mhm. kind of hurt with the way she talked about me, not surprised though."
"... she's just saying that rude shit because she's mad you're my girl."
"either way she needs to fix her attitude." you said under your breath, handing him your finished worksheet.
he hummed, reaching out to grab it. his eyes looked carefully at each answer making sure it was correct. "good job lady, you got them all correct."
"really?"
"no. I can't even tell because your handwriting is a unreadable."
you snatched the paper from him taking a look at it. no yeah, he's right. what the fuck are you even saying?
you murmured nasty things about him that he couldn't make out as you erased and rewrote the paper. "what's up with the anime figures."
"god forbid a handsome, young, intelligent boy collect something. it's digimon, by the way. aka, the better version of pokemon. sure, pokemon has the cute characters and all but digimon," he took a deep breath in. "beautiful. such a well written plot."
"that's nice sweetie." you handed him back your paper.
"much better."
your eyes looked up at the posters he had taped up his wall. "I think it's cool how you're so passionate about stuff.."
"you're trying to butter me up. you got them all right. such a good and smart girl" he teased in a baby voice.
"seriously, good job. you've improved so much." you looked up at him, no longer fighting the shy smile from showing up on your face. "thank you."
the two of you shared a look that was anything but in the label of it being fake.
"alright. gotta get you back home before I start getting emotional over my sweet girl getting smart."
you groaned, looking at your phone screen seeing that it was way past your ending hour. "it's nine. I'll call an uber today, seriously, it's way too late."
"like hell you are."
"satoru.."
he got up from his bed, grabbing his keys from his night stand. "told you no ubers. not when i'm right here."
"I don't want you driving this late." you mumbled.
"stop being disobedient. I'll drag you over my lap and spank the shit out of you if you call a stranger."
"and if I'm into that?" you felt bold, deciding to be the flirty one now. he froze, hand on the door knob with his back to you. a dangerous grin crawled onto his face. "get on the bed."
your eyes widened not knowing if he was serious or not.
"go on, ass up face down."
"no way you pervert!" you quickly dashed out the door hearing him chuckle behind you.
"wait for me, dearest!"
-
it's been a few weeks now. weeks full of stressful study sessions and dirty looks given by nova and her friends.
she tried reaching out to gojo, which meant that the whole fake relationship was working. he patiently waited a bit more, knowing now that she wanted him back.
but now?
now he was questioning if it was even worth it anymore.
"the star-gazing night in tomorrow. you're coming remember?"
you groaned, receiving a pinch on your cheek from him. "it's in the rules y/n"
"alright.. no need to be so serious. acting you dont break the rules every day."
"I'm a saint." he brushed his hair with his fingers, glancing at the way you laid on his bed, fighting the growl that was building up in his throat to escape.
"definitely not." you snorted.
he scoffed, laying besides you. "finish your reading. you still have to read three other sections. and after that I want you to rewrite each equation. you gotta memorize them somehow."
"this is getting old..." you sighed hiding your face in the textbook. the smell of the ink chemicals filling up your nose. his eyes traveled down to your ass.
"... you should stay the night. I'm too lazy to drive you back today. and don't start with getting an uber, i'm sick of you."
you lifted up your head. "I don't have a change of clothes."
"just borrow my clothes." he shrugged, standing up with a grunt. "got stuff that'll fit ya."
"I don't want to wear your ugly sweaters and polos."
"you're ungrateful!" he yelled from his closet, grabbing a shirt with a random digimon character and pj pants with planets on them.
"what is this atrocious combination."
"y'know where the bathroom is," he handed you the spare clothing. "there's some spare toothbrushes still in packaging underneath the counter. don't forget to come back in for a good nights kiss."
you sighed, looking down at the faded design on his t-shirt that has been worn out over time. "um, where will I sleep?"
"in my arms, duh." he mumbled. "am kidding, hon. I'll take you to the guest bedroom. hurry on, go change."
you obeyed, heading to his bathroom, closing the door behind you deciding to lock it just in case he gets any ideas. you washed your face quickly, looking at your reflection in the mirror.
after throwing on his clothes and washing your teeth, you walked back into his room only to be met with the sight of his muscular back and his boxers you were surprised weren't digimon themed.
he heard the door close, turning his head around letting out a wolf whistle. "fuck. look at you."
you dodged his hands.
"nah, come here." he chuckled, reaching over for his phone to snap a picture of you. "looking like a real pretty girl."
"satoruuuu.." you groaned.
"alright alright, let's take you to your bed." he threw his phone onto his bed, motioning to follow him. "though, I think it'd be nice if you could stay in mine.
"I disagree." you tried your best not to look down at the way his briefs hung low on his waist, making his back dimples visible as you followed closely behind.
"do your parents not care if I stay?"
he grunted. "they're on a work trip. think they'll be back in a few days."
he opened up another door of the many there were in his mansion.
"here. g'night baby."
"yeah.. good night. thank you satoru."
gojo watched as you walked in, his shirt too big on you. "give me a kiss?"
"rule number two." you reminded him, closing the door on his face. you placed your body against it for a bit, trying to calm down your beating heart. this was becoming way too real for a relationship deemed to be fake.
he stood outside for a bit, staring at the door until his eyes drifted down to the front of his boxers. he tugged at it forward, exposing his pretty pink tip.
he half scoffed, watching it harden, pre-cum oozing out. "ridiculous." he shook his head, going back to his room.
-
gojo held your hand, carefully guiding you up the hill where the others were setting up the telescopes and blankets on the grass. his thumb rubbed over each of your knuckles, a habit he did whenever the two of you held hands.
“here..” he nodded towards the blanket set up next to the telescope facing the starry sky. you sat down first waiting for him to join you as well.
gojo looked over to his friends, seeing them chatting with one another. but a familiar green eyed girl caught his attention. nova was here.
"you gonna sit down?" you asked, looking up at him turning to where he was staring at. nova had already made her way to the communal bathrooms nearby, out of your line of sight.
“uh.. I'll be back y/n. shouldn’t take long..” he mumbled. he’s been wanting to experience this with someone so intimately. stargazing was his favorite thing to do, and it meant a lot that you were interested in doing it with him despite him forcing you to. but right now, he felt the need to follow nova.
"oh alright.." your words came out in a soft mumble, a bit shy now that you were left alone with a bunch of geeks you didn't know.
his long strides quickly carried him across the field.
you sighed, wrapping the blanket around your body, gazing at the stars above coming out to put on a show. multiple constellations you could recognize from gojo.
you were unaware that he was with the reason you were both doing this anyways, the girl that didn't bother showing up when gojo needed her the most.
and he left you sitting there with a crowd that didn't know your name.
you felt out of place until a voice snapped you back into reality, saving you from a potential anxiety attack. "hey"
your eyes met his. a tall, long raven haired boy with purple eyes stood there in front of you.
"mind if I sit here?"
"oh, yeah sure." you tapped the empty space next you, an invitation for him to join.
he sat at a respectful distance, jotting something down on his notebook. "you're gojo's new girl huh?"
you responded with a nod.
a chuckle left his lips.
gojo let out a moan as nova bit into his neck. his hands were groping her ass cheeks, separating them and squeezing the meat.
"knew you wanted me back. she doesn't make you feel as good like I ever did." her voice was quiet but venomous.
"fuck, nova we can't.."
"we can."
her hands tugged at his sweater, pulling it up to drag her fresh set of nails down his abs, making him jerk forward. "break up with her, I want you back. and I know you want me back as well." her perfume seducing as it took over his senses.
soft whimpers left his lips, desperately bucking his hips against her thigh.
"please toru' baby?"
it's been about half an hour. you would have died of boredom if not for the small talk you had with the unnamed boy next to you. everyone around you was having a good time. laughing quietly, pointing at the sky, looking through the lenses.
then you heard your name behind you.
looks like he finally came back. you felt relief but annoyance and frustration. you were about to ask him where he has been but his arm shot out, forcing you up and dragging you away from the boy next to you.
"always after my girls aren't you, suguru?"
your waist was embraced by the white haired boys arms, tugging you on his chest.
suguru barked out a laugh, standing up as well, meeting gojo's heights. "thought she was available now that you went and got cozy with your ex." you looked up at gojo confused.
"let's go." he announced your departure.
"what is he talking about?" you asked as you made your way to his car. "did you meet up with nova right now?"
you got no answer, but that confirmed your question anyways.
he opened up the passenger door, jaw set tight he might as well crack a tooth. you slid into your seat, eyes never leaving him, feeling your chest hollow and heavy all at once.
he closed the door, walking over to his side.
"what did you mean by that guy being after your girls?"
"what do you think it meant?" his voice was harsh.
"you don't get to talk to me that way after you left me sitting like an idiot." his hand froze before he started the engine. his posture rigid, gripping onto his keys.
"I know."
"every time I date or show interest in someone, suguru circles like a damn vulture."
your lips parted, ready to ask why he left in the first place, but you already had a good idea. "..I'm guessing you and nova are good now."
"yeah. so, let's finish your tutoring and.. and we can end things."
you nodded, but part of you wanted to shake your head and beg for the fake relationship to continue.
he turned the keys, the engine roaring to life. his grip on the steering wheel was strong, driving through the empty roads in silence.
he recalled how her nails felt against his skin, her breath tickling his lips. but his body moved out of control, catching her wrists to stop her movement.
"nova. stop, I don't want you." he whispered, voice shaking. "not like I did before." her smile faltered. "what do you mean? you.. you followed me."
"to tell you this. to tell you to stay away from me." he pushed her away, making her stumble. "to tell you that I found the girl of my dreams.. and ask.. no, to demand of you to leave her alone." he fixed his shirt, turning his heels before she could respond.
he wanted to admit the truth. but he was unsure how you would react to the fact that he's gotten actual feelings.
there’s this tumblr post that said something abt vampires needing permission to come and…… i thought abt vampire clark service top begging and whining and crying to come inside vampire hunter bruce who is riding the hellllll out of that dihhhh
little intro post for my most heavily featured ocs! masterlist • moodboards
james “jamie” vasquez, 22 *ੈ✩‧₊˚
-he/him, bisexual
-chinese/mexican
-hobbies: art, crafts, reading, martial arts, guitar and singing
“jamie is easily the kindest person i’ve ever known. even after everything we’ve been through, he’s never changed that. he’s always loved and protected me. i couldn’t imagine my life without him.” -tiān
tiān wú, 22 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔
-she/her, bisexual
-chinese/white
-hobbies: writing, cooking, playing the piano, reading, making clothes
“if i had to describe tian in one word, i’d pick ‘brilliant’. she’s a genius, of course, but her smile is so bright that it makes her entire being shine. she’s it for me. she's my sunshine. always has been.” -jamie
tamashi karito, 25 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
-he/him, unlabeled but is dating a man sooo
-filipino/japanese (actually it’s complicated. his dad is japanese but he has no japanese dna. spoiler alert XD)
-hobbies: martial arts, blacksmithing, reading
“tamashi’s one of the only people i’ve ever trusted. he’s my best friend. i’ve always believed in him and i know he’d do the same for me.” -jamie
kojin “koj” yuzhao, 22 ⋆𖦹⋆ˎˊ˗
-she/they, identifies as lesbian but doesn’t really gaf
-chinese/japanese
-hobbies: martial arts, black magic, drums, getting attached to stray animals
“koj is one of those friends that you might not have wanted, but that everyone definitely needs. she’ll call your bullshit without a second thought, but she never dishes what she can’t take and she’ll always show up for you when it really matters.” -tian
austin tao, 24 ༺♱༻
-he/they, doesn’t really care about gender or sexuality tbh, dating tamashi
-chinese american (he’s from texas specifically)
-hobbies: making clothes, graffiti, electric guitar, skateboarding
“when i first met austin, i thought he was a fucking punk with no life. guess what? i was right. but he's also the smartest person i know, and he's loyal as fuck. he'd literally help you get away with murder, and it would probably work too. i'm lucky to be his boyfriend." -tamashi
psyche saphique, 25 ✩♬₊˚.✩
-she/her, omni with a fem preference
-african-american, born and raised in louisiana
-hobbies: singing, making music, dancing, sewing
“psyche has this air about her that just makes you feel like…almost crisp, you know? awake, maybe. with her, it’s easy to forget everything else because her mere existence demands attention. my girlfriend’s fucking gorgeous.” -kojin
6.8k • vampire au, hint of blood kink, p in v sex, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, handjob, dacryphilia, yearning, first time, tender sex, they fuck in a bathtub so not super hygienic, hurt/comfort • tian did something rash. jamie has strong feelings about it, but for a different reason than she thinks. they fuck tenderly about it. if you want more info on these characters, check out my oc post!
There’s an incredibly uncomfortable silence in the space between them.
Tian has never seen Jamie like this. He looks angry. He’s never looked at her like that before. Like she’s injured him somehow (he technically did get stabbed, but vampires heal so quickly that he barely felt it) even though she’s the one sitting on his steaming bathtub with a steadily bleeding gash on her thigh.
She should have listened to him. She should have listened to him. He won’t even meet her eyes, busy rummaging in drawers for herbs and flowers that he can use to cast a healing enchantment.
“Jamie?” She tilts her head, furrowing her brows. Her hands fall into her lap, the posture of humility that always satisfied her mother in situations like this. “Jamie, I’m sorry.”
“You have already apologized,” he says simply. “There is no need to reiterate.”
“I should’ve listened to you. I was an idiot.” Her heart sinks when he turns his head, just slightly. “Please just look at me. Say something.”
“What do you want me to say?” He stares at her, head-on, and she’s surprised by the sadness in his eyes. “It seems that no matter what I try to do to help you, you refuse it. I thought that we were friends. Do you not believe me your equal? Do you not see that I was trying to protect you?”
“I didn’t think it would get us hurt,” Tian insists. “I just wanted to go into the village for a few hours. I didn’t mean for this to happen—“
“Please lift your robe.” Jamie’s kneeling before her now, a clutch of hyacinths fisted in his slender hands.
“What did—what did you say?” The request brings a dark blush to Tian’s face, enough that Jamie would definitely notice if he wasn’t focused on her wound.
“Your robe. I need you to move the edge so I can heal your wound.” He places a gentle hand on her knee. “It will keep bleeding if I do not fix it by magic.”
“Oh. Of course,” she breathes. She lifts the fabric, and the soft gasp that Jamie lets out isn’t lost on her. Everything’s covered, of course, but the cotton of her slip isn’t quite enough to mask the heat pooling in her stomach. Jamie can sense it. She knows he can, yet he makes no comment as he runs a soft hand along the flesh of her thigh.
“Hold still for a moment.” He squeezes a hyacinth in his palm, painting the juices and petals across the wound. Tian resists the urge to draw back at the sting, instead digging her fingers into the sides of the marble tub. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”
“It’s all right,” she replies, mostly because she can’t focus on anything but how close his lips are to hers. If only he would lean in, bridge the gap, close the distance. If only they could both take the leap.
He draws a few runes down her leg, whispers an incantation into his hand and places his palms on her thighs. They both shiver at it, and Tian almost wants to laugh at how this undead boy who could snap her in half is floored by just a simple touch.
“Hūifù,” he mutters, the runes beneath his sleeves illuminating, hair floating around his head as the spell takes effect.
Tian feels lightning shooting in her veins, adrenaline pumping through her heart, overwhelming bliss filling the spot where the pain used to be. It’s so strong that she has to stand up, hand propping her against the wall just to hold her in position, because it’s so much.
She can see him behind her eyelids, a cosmic star bright with burning energy, heat that’s real and tangible and that curls around her in a protective embrace. She can feel him in her bones, a warmth that calls her name. He’s so beautiful like this, in the starry space behind her eyelids. Even when she can’t see him, he’s there.
And then she opens her eyes.
Jamie’s standing before her, hands shaking, head tilted like he’s confused. He smiles, and she thinks he asks if she’s all right but her head is rushing so hard that she can barely hear him.
The only thing she knows is Jamie’s standing in front of her, that he’s worried for her, and she wants to hold him so desperately it might tear her apart.
So she pulls him in, wraps her arms around his neck, lets his weight press her to the bathroom wall as he stumbles. It barely takes a second for him to return the embrace. His hands press her closer, snaking around her waist, head buried in her soft hair. There’s a gasp of relief that escapes his lips when she squeezes him tighter. He caresses her side, rests his hand on her hip, presses the lightest kiss to her hair. She needs to understand. He has to make her understand.
“I was so worried about you,” he breathes. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
“I’m so sorry. I should never have left. We both could have been killed.” Tian takes his face in her hands, smiles softly when he blinks back tears. “You were so brave, Jamie.”
“I was terrified.” Jamie looks down at her, and there’s so much emotion in his eyes that Tian has to force herself to breathe. “I thought I’d never see you again. I thought that I would never get to tell you…”His voice drops away, pretending to lose his train of thought. Tian knows better. Jamie never forgets anything when it comes to her.
“Get to tell me…what?” The electric excitement in Tian’s stomach is strong enough to make her a little cruel. “You can tell me now.”
“I don’t think I could ever tell you how deeply I care for you,” he whispers.
And he glances down to where her lips are parted, where she’s breathing so fast that he must know. He has to know how she feels.
“I have felt so much since I came to know you. Trust, and friendship, and a kindness that no one has ever shown me,” he continues. “I’ve walked this earth a hundred years and never, in all that time, have I met someone like you.”
“I feel the same way.” She touches his side just enough to make his face grow a little warmer. “I’m better because of you.”
The heat between them is undeniable now. It’s been building for months, and maybe in hindsight this was always going to happen, but it still shocks them to see each other close like this. Jamie looks pained, reaching for Tian and sighing at her touch as if it’s a balm.
“I want to give you everything you want.” He cups her face. Meets her eyes, searching. Yearning. “Tell me what you want from me, and I’ll give it to you.”
The secret rolls onto her wicked tongue, and her mouth opens to blurt the truth.
“I wish you would kiss me.”
His eyes are terrified, but the tenderness in his hands as he strokes her cheek is unmistakable. It’s wanting, it’s loving, it’s him.
He lowers his head. Tian rises to meet him.
Jamie tastes like copper, like the heady rush of wine. His lips are soft and tentative against hers, warmer than the rest of his body. Tian sighs into it, wraps her arms around his neck and tangles her fingers into his soft hair, tugging at the black strands. It pulls a small noise from the back of his throat, one that she’s never heard from him but that she immediately recognizes for what it is.
He must not know his own strength, because he’s so very desperate to kiss her and take in every particle, every cell in her body, that he almost rips her dress at the hip from where he’s gripping her. He licks into her mouth, his dulled fangs take her bottom lip, and Tian feels eaten.
“Tian,” he breathes, hand wrapping around the back of her skull and her waist to press her closer to the wall, and closer to him. He can sense her pulse spiking. He knows every artery, every nerve in her body. “Would you let me drink from you, if I needed it?”
“What was that?” She pulls away. Looks up at him, eyes wide and chest heaving, and he folds just as she knew he would.
“Nothing. Nothing.”
His lips crash against hers and the space between them is nonexistent. They’re all searching hands and desperate breaths and Jamie’s tongue is pressing against hers, his fangs bumping her jaw as he begins to kiss anywhere he can reach. Her forehead, her cheek, her jaw, her neck—oh gods, his fangs on her neck—
He nips softly at the skin, tongue darting out to taste her, lips soothing where his teeth scrape her. She can feel the heat in him, the fear, the excitement. He’s hungry for it.
“Tell me something to distract me,” Jamie whispers. “Before I lose control and do something in my hunger that I’ll regret.”
“Am I that enticing, darling?” She lifts his chin, makes him meet her eyes. “You’re lovely. Did you know that?”
He visibly shudders at that. Presses against her like he’s hoping they’ll meld automatically.
“You called me lovely.” His eyes are wet, cheeks flushed as his body cages her in even further. A knee slots between her legs and she can’t help but rock against it. He’s gritting his teeth, digging his fingers into her hips. He can’t even hold his own head up, resting it against her shoulder, chin grazing the top of her breast. “Why did you say that? Why do you—do you even realize what you’re doing to me?”
“Because I wanted to,” she answers, her head a bit muddy from the constant grind of her hips on his thigh. “Do you still want me to talk to you?” She smiles when he nods eagerly. “What would you like me to say?”
“Tell me how long you’ve been wanting this,” Jamie huffs, “so that I don’t feel like an idiot.”
“I’ve wanted you for months.” Jamie whines at that, rutting against her leg. She smoothes his hair out of his eyes. “Ever since I met you.”
“What did you think of?” He nips at her collarbone. “What did you dream about?” His knee presses directly against her core.
“I wanted you to take me however you wanted,” she gasps. “In your bed. On the sofa, in the dining room, in the bath—“
“That can be arranged.” He kisses her once, twice, three times, and grazes her hip with his hand. “How did I take you?”
“You would touch me.” The intent in her voice is unmistakable.
“Where?” Jamie’s eyes drop to the tie of her robe. “May I take this off?”
“Please.” She kisses his cheek as he slips it from her shoulder, making him blush even after he was whining for her just seconds ago. She’s left in a simple cotton slip. His gaze lingers on her chest long enough to make her roll her eyes and guide his hand to her breast. He hovers above it, unsure.
“Can I touch you?”
“Jamie, if you don’t hurry up and put your hands on me I swear—”
“Okay, okay. Whatever my love wants.” He smiles and presses into the flesh of her chest, hand lowering the neckline of the dress till the swell of her chest is free. “You’re so beautiful. Fuck, I never thought—this is like a dream.”
“A good dream, I hope.” She leans in to kiss him. Jamie whimpers into her mouth as his hands cup her breast, rolling her nipples between his fingers, his entire body leaning into her like he’s hoping their very atoms will collide.
“This isn’t at all what I expected.” Jamie looks pleased as he says it, testing the give of her breast in his hand again. “You’re soft. And you smell so good. And your skin is so warm. This is so much better than anything I could dream up.”
“Have you ever…” Tian’s hands fall to his hips, tracing the straining shape at the front of his pants. “…have you done this before?”
“No, never.” Jamie shakes his head. “I’ve read things. And seen paintings. I understand how it works, but it’s significantly more complex in practice.” He pauses. “Do you have any…experience?”
“None at all, I’m afraid.” She rubs her thumb against the bulge in his trousers, and that makes Jamie sob. “But it’s okay,” she whispers, tongue just flicking at the shell of his ear. Jamie’s arms are shaking around her. “I’m a very quick learner.”
“I don’t know if I can make it to the bed,” Jamie gasps. “I just—I can’t. I can’t do it.”
“There’s no rule saying that you can only do it in a bed,” Tian points out. Eyebrows raised, Jamie glances at the bathtub that he’d initially filled for her, its water still producing a slight steam, sweet-smelling oils wafting through the room. She follows his gaze and they both seem to move toward it at the same time.
“If it’s our first time, we should probably warm up before we actually—you know.”
“Oh, so now you’re going shy on me?” Tian sits on the edge of the tub, legs spreading while Jamie stares down at her and tries not to drool. “Besides, you seem perfectly prepared to me.”
“It’s you I’m worried about, darling.” He runs his hands up her thighs, parting them to make room as he kneels. “I want you to be ready.”
“And how are you going to ensure that?” She tilts his chin up with two fingers, smiles at his blushing cheeks. He’s reverent, bowing to her hips as if they’re an altar, eyes desperate to take in the rest of her.
“It might be better if I just show you.” He tugs at her dress, pulling it up enough to get at her undergarment. He drags it down with both hands and urges her to lean back.
The first touch to her core is tentative, gentle, like she’s made of fine china. He seems to know where to move without even being told, his thumb flicking twice over her clit. Tian moans out loud when he touches her, throws her head back and sighs.
“Good,” he murmurs, immensely pleased. “Take a deep breath, my love.”
His tongue presses flat against her cunt and her hips buck off the marble surface. He waits for her to breathe again before continuing, his mouth almost healing to where she’s ached for him for so long. He’s surprisingly gentle. His fangs never graze her where she’s tender, but the promise of it makes her want him even more. The chilly air must be settling around them by now, but her body is so full of heat that she can’t even tell.
“How does that feel so good?” She whines when he pulls away for air, her arousal smeared on his lips. “How do you know how to do this?”
“I’ve spent the last few months thinking of nothing but this,” he admits. “I’ve played this over a million times in my head. I’ve wanted you so long that I don’t know where I started.”
“You pining wreck.” She strokes his cheek with a dazed smile. “You’re a mess. What happened to your propriety?”
“It flew out of the window when you kissed me,” he answers. He won’t stop looking at her, eyes full of longing and yearning and affection. The slick around his red mouth almost looks like blood. “But in hindsight, I think I’ve always been a bit of a mess when it comes to you.”
“Jamie.” She tilts his chin up, wipes his lip and shivers when he draws her thumb up to his mouth, sucking her essence away. “Jamie, please keep going.”
He leans back in, lips wrapping around her clit, two fingers slipping into her warm cunt to stretch her. It feels so good, almost to the point that she wants to pull away. She didn’t expect him to enjoy this, but he’s moaning just as much as she is, smiling against her when her legs begin to shake.
Every little move he makes, every breath, every startled gasp—it all feels amplified when he’s this close to her. A tremor rocks through her body. She feels melted, and her brain hiccups when he slots a third digit inside her. Nothing has ever stretched her like this, even her own fingers have never done what Jamie’s can do. The care and precision that he applies to paint on a canvas seem to carry over into everything he does. He brushes the most tender part inside of her and Tian can’t help but laugh in shock.
“That’s good,” she gasps, “that’s so good.” The praise must go straight to Jamie’s head, because he shudders and continues with shaking hands. Tian threads her hands into his hair. “Can you even breathe right now?”
He muffles something into her cunt that sounds like ‘I don’t need to’ but she can’t be certain that he even said anything. Fragments of that cosmic healing are still lingering in her bones like a drug. It heightens her adrenaline, it makes her needier than she expected to be. It doesn’t help that his fangs are bumping against her, or that he’s curling his fingers to hit a spot that makes her wish they’d done this sooner. Of course they should have done this sooner.
There’s a coil of heat tightening in her stomach, pooling in her abdomen, making her anxious to find relief. She pulls him closer. Takes his free hand and squeezes it tight.
“I think I’m gonna come,” she whispers. “Just like that, that’s perfect, don’t stop—“
“I’m so proud of you. So good for me.” He kisses her clit with reverence, as if he’s greeting her. “My beautiful, beautiful love.” The praise makes her want to cry. It makes her cum.
Her walls tighten around his calloused fingers, her entire body shaking when she releases. Jamie whimpers and keeps moving, though he slows down to give her time to relax around him. When her grip on his hand loosens, he withdraws it and looks from the slick covering his fingers down to Tian’s core, and finally to her flushed face.
“If I knew you would look like that after you come, I would’ve done this to you straight from the start.”
“I didn’t know it would feel like this,” she blurts, frowning when Jamie laughs. She’s putty in his hands. “It’s not funny! Don’t laugh!”
“I’m not laughing at you, darling.” He licks at his fingers, fangs flashing in the light of the lamps. “That was euphoric. Better than the taste of blood, if you ask me.”
“There’s no way it felt better for you than it felt for me, because that was fucking fantastic.” Tian leans down and Jamie eagerly cups her cheeks. “Would it be gross if I kissed you?”
“Not at all,” he answers, pulling her down and slipping his lips over hers. She can taste herself on his tongue, but the overwhelming sensation she feels is bliss. She wants more. She wants him closer. She wants him inside.
He seems to be on the same wavelength, because he’s standing up now and holding her up with both arms so she doesn’t fall into the tub. She presses him back just enough to stand up with him, stumbling a bit when her legs falter.
“I wish I could return the favor, but I’d be at a loss trying to learn what to do.” She nips at his neck, grinning when he sighs.
“Another time,” he assures her. “Are you drained, love?”
“No.” It’s like a guessing game when he tilts his curious head.
“Are you sore? Any pain at all?”
“Not in the slightest.”
“Then what would you have me do for you?”
At this point, there’s no reason to hide it.
“I want you to take off my dress,” she murmurs into his ear. “I want to touch you. I want you inside me. I want to have you in the way that I’ve been dreaming of.”
“Tian,” he gasps, his heart pounding. “Are you sure?”
“I have always been sure when it comes to wanting you.”
That’s all it takes for Jamie to begin feverishly working at the laces of her bodice, his fingers fumbling while his hands shake. Tian reaches for his flowing shirt, unbuttoning the top and half-slipping it off his torso. He tenses and she barely catches it before he’s breaking with a gasp.
“Wait, wait, step back, I wanna see,” he begs. She does, slipping the straps down her body until the fabric pools around her feet. Jamie’s pupils dilate till his eyes look even darker than they already are. “Perfect. Oh, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” She smiles when he steps forward and cups a breast in one hand, the other slipping over her rear. “I knew you would be. I knew you’d be perfect.”
“Let me see you too.” Tian tugs at his shirt. He pulls back, just a fraction. “If you want to?” It feels necessary to tack that last bit on after gauging his reaction.
“I-I want to,” he explains hastily. She’s never seen him nervous like this. “Believe me, I want it more than anything. I just—promise me you won’t get scared, okay? I don’t look how you would expect a man to look. I’m not human like you.”
“Jamie, I’m sure you’re wonderful.” She kisses his forehead, his cheek. “But I promise anyway.”
Jamie inhales deeply before pulling his shirt away and tossing it to the floor. His arms come up to cover his chest at first, but Tian moves forward and gently pushes them back.
He’s so beautiful. She assumes that the thing he was ashamed of are the deep scars that run up and down his body like ivy, twisting and churning in a jagged pattern. Black markings in the shape of abstract stars grace his collarbones, his shoulders, and when she gestures for him to turn around she finds that they decorate his back as well. His build is lithe, with some softness at his hips and waist that Tian desperately wants to bite into. A fine dusting of hair travels from his navel to the waistband of his trousers. She wants to find out where it leads.
“Tian?” His voice sounds small. He tries to smile. “Please say something. I can’t stand the silence.”
“I don’t think you realize how pretty you are.” She shakes her head. “You can’t possibly be this beautiful.” Her feet carry her to him, hands reaching up to trace his scars. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. Jamie, how could I ever be frightened of you?”
“You’re not scared of them?” He sniffs, and Tian wipes away one of his tears. “You actually…like them?”
“You are all I’ve ever wanted.” She kisses him softly, hands resting on his chest. He leans into her touch, melts to her like wax. “My love, you’re divine.”
“Fuck,” he whines, kissing her harder, sobbing against her lips. “You’re really here. You really want me. You’re holding me because you care.” It’s really more to convince himself than anything. “Tian, I need you so badly. Please. Please let me have this.”
“Of course.” She strokes his cheek. Begins to unlace his pants. “Where would you like me?”
“Get in the tub. The water. Lie on your back.”
She steps into it, the warmth shocking but welcome after the cold air that surrounded her before. Jamie unfastens his trousers, and Tian’s eyes widen when he slips his shorts down.
“Not that I’ve ever seen one in real life before,” Tian mutters, “but you’re big.”
“I wouldn’t know,” he replies with a shaking laugh. “I haven’t got a single parameter for comparison.” He’s trying to be funny. Trying to make her laugh. It’s corny and a little odd, but she’s never wanted him more. He climbs into the water with her, settles between her thighs and reaches down to stroke her core. Tian shudders and grips his forearm, the pleasure almost too much.
“Can I touch you? Can you tell me how?” She sits up in the water, hands resting on his knees.
“Run your thumb over the tip,” he instructs, “like this.” He guides her movement with his own hand, and his hips immediately rut against her palm of their own volition. “And wrap your hand around the middle.” She does, ever the quick learner, and begins to apply more pressure. Every pass over his cock only has him moaning louder, thrusting into her hand harder. His eyes well up at the feeling. She can taste the tears in his mouth.
“You like that? You like it, don’t you?”
“Yes, yes. I love it, I love it so much.” He rests his forehead in the crook of her neck, panting as he continues to move. “You’re so good to me. You’re so sweet, you’re perfect, you’re everything.”
“Doing so well for me, darling.” She gives him a chaste kiss, but it’s paired with a teasing squeeze that has Jamie sobbing. “You’re so pretty when you cry. Did you know that? Your eyes sparkle a little bit.”
“Tian,” he murmurs. Does he even see her? His eyes are watering so much that she’s probably blurry. “I wanna kiss you so bad right now.”
“Then kiss me,” she replies. He does, smiling a little bit when her hand moves over him because it feels so good and he just can’t help it.
“You're gonna make me come.” His eyes are wide, almost fearful. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t stop.”
“It’s all right. I’m here. I’m here.” Tian kisses the top of his head. The water laps at her stomach, a little spilling over the edge of the tub with how much he’s moving. “Let it go. I’m right here with you.”
“F- fuck—”
He spills into her hand, into the water, clouding it a misty sort of color. Tian doesn’t mind. She kisses his cheek, his neck, until he’s able to stop shaking and calm down enough to look at her.
“You did so good.” It’s obvious that he needs a lot of praise, which is really not a problem at all because Tian loves to give it to him. “Do you see how pretty you are? You’re my baby, you know that?”
His eyes are wet and shining again. He digs his fingers into her flesh, into her breast, smiling up at her.
“I love you,” he says softly.
Her heart could melt. No one has ever said that to her, not in earnest, never showing it the way Jamie does. And from his lips? In a tender moment like this? She really might fall apart.
“Tell me again.” She needs to hear it again.
“I love you.” Jamie kisses her jaw, stamps the words into her skin. Tian sighs, slips further down in the shallow water to lie under him fully.
“I love your clever mind.” A series of kisses down her neck, the most teasing bite of his fangs before he travels back up to her face. “I love your kindness. I love how you smile at me, how you make everyone around you feel like they’re worth something.” He tastes like salt when he kisses her again. “I love all of you. Every part of you. Even if you get stuck on the other side of the sun. Even if you don’t feel the same.”
She might crumble into herself.
“I do,” she assures him. “Jamie, you have no idea how much I’ve longed to hear you say that. How desperately I’ve loved you.”
“You love me?” He sounds like a child. She’ll never grow tired of it, though.
“I adore you.” His responding hum is deep, the vibrato of it rocking through their bodies like an earthquake.
She pulls him down, moving against him, shocked at how quickly he hardens again. He slips two fingers inside her, grins when she moans into his mouth. Water sloshes around them, but it’s sort of pleasant to feel it rocking them in tandem.
“Please, Tian.” He moves further up her body, planting his feet to keep himself from slipping on the marble. “Can I fuck you?”
“Yes. Please. Of course you can, darling.” She cups his face, strokes his cheekbone as he lines himself up.
“Breathe in for me, okay?” Jamie uses his hand to guide himself in, and they both moan at the sensation of it. He slips into her with slow, careful thrusts, like she’s made of porcelain. The stretch almost stings, but it’s just enough on the side of pleasure to be mind-numbing. “Oh, look at you. You’re taking me so well.”
“You’re so big, Jamie.” She whines, clutching him closer by the knots that her fingers have burrowed into his hair. “I can't-it's too much- ”
“It's okay. I'm here. You can take it. You can do this." He kisses her forehead. "You feel so good, my love.” His arms cage her in, buckling as he bottoms out. “Such a good fucking girl. Taking all of me and not even complaining. Like you want it.” He swears he can see a bump.
“I do,” she whimpers, “I want it, I want it, I want it.” She can feel his skin flat against hers, hands holding her in place by her hip and lower back. “You’re so good to me.”
“You deserve it all, my love. You deserve the world. You deserve everything you want.” Jamie shudders, beginning to rock into her now that she’s gotten used to him.
“All I want is you,” she replies. He freezes above her before moving again, harder and deeper this time. It’s abrupt. It’s rougher than she expected, but she laughs anyway. He just looks stunned.
“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me. I don’t know what’s happening,” he groans. His thumb flies down to dig into her clit. “I’ve never felt so weak. You make me weak. You make me vulnerable.”
She presses her hand into his back, urging him to move faster. He’s like a storm, unwavering, unable to stop himself.
“I don’t want you to hold yourself back,” she whispers. “If you want it, take it. I won’t break. You won’t hurt me.”
“Are you sure?” He kisses her forehead, then her nose, and finally meets her lips.
“I can handle it.” She strokes his cheek. “I’m not made of glass, you know.”
“Believe me, I know.” He shakes his head, laughing. “But you should still let me know if it’s too much for you, okay?”
“Okay. Can you just…tell me one thing?”
“Of course.” He cups her face, leaning over her, hips moving back and forth in gentle grinds. “Anything you need.”
“Is this safe?” She looks down to where they’re joined. “I mean, can you—does you being a vampire keep you from—“
“Are you asking if I can get you pregnant?”
“I just want to know.” She curls her fingers into his hair. Massages his scalp until his limbs feel like liquid. “I mean, it won’t change anything. I still want you to keep going, and I don’t think I’m in that window, but just for the future I think it would be helpful information to have on hand.” She blushes. “If that makes sense. I know it’s a dumb question.”
“It makes perfect sense. And it’s not a dumb question at all.” Jamie pushes in a little deeper, holds her a little tighter. “It’s okay. I can’t get you pregnant unless you have the same… condition as me.”
“Don’t say it like it’s a disease,” she reprimands. He shakes his head and begins to rock harder, deeper, faster. His breaths grow shallow and fast. She feels him everywhere.
“It is a disease.” Tian frowns at that, cups the back of his neck, pulls him in for a kiss that he gasps into. It doesn’t stop him from saying it anyway. “I can’t be around other people without wondering how I’d kill them. I can’t even look at you without wanting to drain the life from your body.” It almost feels like too much, how he’s touching her, how his forehead presses against hers, desperate for reassurance. “I feel like I’m a monster.”
“No, you’re not. You saved my life when you could’ve used me.” She kisses his cheek. “You took me in and protected me.” His forehead. “You take care of me like I’m this precious thing you can never lose.” His neck. “And you love me. That isn’t something a monster does. You’re a man, Jamie—a good man, a loyal friend, a kind lover—and that means something.”
“You think I’m good?” A trickle of pre leaks into her and she gasps at the sensation. Jamie doesn’t notice, can’t feel anything but the overwhelming love he’s been carrying for so long. “You think I’m kind?”
“You are good. You are kind.”
“Fuck. Fuck.” His thumb slips over her clit, teasing her until she tightens around him. The pressure builds and builds like nothing she’s ever felt before.
“You’re good and kind and brave and clever and so, so pretty. Say it to me, Jamie. Tell me how wonderful you are.”
“I’m good,” he gasps, slamming his hips into her. “I’m kind.” A stifled moan into her neck, his hands splayed over her rosy cheeks. So full of life. So different from him. “I’m brave and clever.” She should fear everything that he is, yet she’s smiling up at him, face flushed, stroking his hair away from his forehead.
“One more, baby. Just one more.”
“I’m p- pretty.” A tear falls onto her cheek. He wipes it away with a gentle hand. “Tian…”
“Come on, let it out.” Her hands roam everywhere on his skin, anywhere her arms can reach. The tension’s building. She’s close, she’s so close, all she needs is a little nudge. “Give it to me, I can take it, just let me take it for you—”
His hips snap abruptly into hers, disrupting their rhythm, drawing a choked-out gasp from her. When she comes, it feels like the healing spell, like the power of the hyacinths, like she’s holding onto nothing and everything at the same time. She’s drifting in a white void. The stars in all their glory hang above her head. She can’t breathe, but at the same time her lungs have never felt so full.
And Jamie is everywhere. His lips trace her cheekbones, but they roam all over her face and into her sweat-damp hair. His hands run over her body, rubbing the ache between her legs where they’re joined, the dark circles under her eyes, each little freckle on the bridge of her nose. His voice is a balm with its soothing words and gentle lilt. She’s clinging to him with tears in her eyes while he kisses her and whispers “I love you” and “you’re so pretty” and “you’re such a good girl” into her ear. He is more careful than she could ever have imagined, handling her with the care and kindness that he brings to everything he loves. It takes at least half a minute before she can breathe again.
“Did you—did you come?”
“I didn’t,” he admits, blushing a little. “Not yet, but I can pull out and—“
“No, please.” She catches his hand. Keeps him in place. “I want it inside. I want all of you inside me.”
“I get to do it...inside?” He blinks, but his hips don’t falter. In fact, she swears they ram into her even harder. “Ohhh, fuck. Fuck, I’m so close.” His head falls into her neck, the rest of his body grinding and rocking and trembling like his brain isn’t even in control anymore. “You have to take it all, okay? I need you to take it, need to fill you, need you to be mine.” He kisses her palm when it reaches up to stroke his cheek. “Can you do that for me?”
“I can,” she hiccups, a little jarred by how hard he’s fucking her now. “C’mon, Jamie, be good, give it to me.”
“I love you,” he sobs, “I love you—”
Jamie shatters in her arms, a long and drawn-out whimper escaping him as he comes. There’s so much of it and he’s so warm , but the feeling is so divine and she feels so pleasantly full that Tian doesn’t even want him to pull out.
He doesn’t. She kisses him and holds him through it. Her fingers trace patterns on his cheek and his back. The water cools around them. His mirror is fogged up by now. (Why he owns a mirror if he can’t use it, she has no idea.)
“Are you okay?” He looks up at her with searching eyes. “Did I hurt you?”
“I feel great,” she replies. “You were amazing and I feel amazing. Seriously, I loved it so much.”
“Do you want me to pull out?”
“I like how it feels.” A shockingly honest answer. “You feel good inside me.” He blushes at that, flustered.
“At least let me wash you off.” Jamie reaches for a cup of warmer water that isn’t…tainted and pours it over her thighs, cleaning away the sex and the sweat and the dirt they’ve accrued from a long night of running and fighting. “I’d hate for us to take a bath and come out dirtier than when we went in.”
“I love you.” She blows a raspberry kiss into his neck, making him laugh and blush in a way that sends a bolt of lightning straight to her heart. He’s so intoxicating. So real that it’s almost painful.
“I love you too,” he replies. “I love you so much, dear.”
They lay there for a minute, fingers tracing wet patterns on each other’s skin. Tian makes hearts on his chest. She thinks he’s drawing flowers on her hip.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” The question shouldn’t be nearly as scary as it is.
“I thought you just did,” he teases. She frowns, which pulls another laugh out of him. “But yes, of course you can. Shall I wash you off properly before we retire?”
“That would be nice.”
He pulls out almost reluctantly. Tian mourns the loss of how he felt inside her, but it fades quickly when he smiles and turns on the actual faucet.
The water is warm, and his hands are soft, and the soap smells like some rare flower that Jamie probably knows the name of. He said once that his mother used to garden with him—she wonders if that’s why he’s kept the flowers but let the rest of the grounds go to ruin.
How much has he been carrying, afraid to share with her under the title of friendship? He’s been so alone, all these years. He’s lost everyone. She can’t even imagine what he must have felt to come home at night and find her missing. It’s heartbreaking to think of his fear, his anger, his misery.
“I really did mean it,” she says abruptly, lathering soap into his hair. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. I should’ve believed you when you said that it was too dangerous.”
“It’s all right, Tian.” He plants a kiss on her wrist. Forgiveness. Mercy. It’s more than she feels she deserves. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that you couldn’t trust me. I never want you to sneak around my back. You can tell me these things.”
“You never made me feel like I couldn’t trust you.” She kisses him softly, soapy hands coming away from his hair and tracing his jaw. “I was just tired of being cooped up, you know? I felt like a prisoner. And it wasn’t your fault at all, but I blamed it on you.” His eyes are closed, delicate as the wings of an insect, lashes tickling her cheek.
“I know how it feels to be trapped. I should have been more open with you from the beginning.” He smiles. “Maybe tonight we can find something to do. Something that you’ll enjoy. Something safer than going to the village by yourself when my mortal enemy is out for your blood.”
“I think I would like that.” His eyes sparkle when she pours warm, clean water over his head. “So long as it’s with you.”
They shift back into their clothes, shivering a bit while Jamie drains the tub. He can rinse it out later. Right now, soft blankets and a roaring fire sound like heaven.
(Although, in the end, his arms are much warmer and safer than anything a fireplace can offer.)
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