Your post tilted "It's not about her" is so insightful. It took me a long time to figure out that I was exhausting my wife with all of my fantasies, kinks and needyness. Once I backed off, learned to shut up, and actually listened to her our relationship took a wonderful turn. I married her because she is awesome. Some where I lost sight of that. Thankfully, over time I realized that she is not my sex toy or my house maid, she is my team mate. I win in life with her. Now days, she is the one that tells me to get back in chastity when she wants. We now have a very nice faux strap-on cock that we both enjoy when I make love to her. Our chastity is not permanent but who knows where this amazing journey will lead.
Thank you for your thoughtful posts.
Thank you for mentioning this. I had forgotten that I wrote that post but after I found it I wish that we could make that be at the top of our page. So many of the questions we get make me think that most men just... pester their wives or girlfriends with this until they just get sick of hearing about it.
Here is the post you were talking about:
Men, we get it... your dick is in a cage and it makes you horny. Just like everything else makes you horny! But stop saying "this is for your benefit" or "It's all about you" when you literally make up rules and charts and show us contracts to make us punish you, and end up turning locking you up into a project for us. We're already worried about children, parents, meals, work, family events, and whatever else. Giving us a schedule for your cock is not about us, it's about you.
I think a lot more women would enjoy this if men simply said "I found this thing that I think would be fun and sexy if we tried it together" and then you (the men) just stop talking about it and let your wives experiment. Even though I liked the idea from the start it took me a few years before I was really comfortable with it and found my way. Fortunately there wasn't a whole lot of nonsense about this back then so my husband was more able to just approach it without any ideas of what we were supposed to do. He just let me find my way with it. And yes... while he might have liked for me to do some things differently, we ended up in a much better place because of this.
Finally... while Tom is locked permanently it doesn't mean that this is the way everyone has to do this. Discovering what you both like is all part of the fun!
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