The Edge of Vanilla

This blog is no longer updated. Follow us on 🔒https://Denial-permanente.tumblr.com 🔒 My husband is permanently locked in strict, 24/7 stainless steel chastity. These captions used to be his fantasies, but now they are his reality.

[denial-permanente]

[denial-permanente]

Thank you for the great captions.

Glad people are still enjoying them. I like to joke that I have like, twelve captions and I just put them on different images, and nobody seems to care. 🔏

[that-tom-allen]

Tom, I've never been caged, but as a submissive male, I do find it kinky. When I read the two blogs for you and your wife, I get the impression that the hunger for kink is much stronger within you than within the Mrs. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I get the impression that you would welcome more teasing and more "intense" play with your wife (in whatever form desires take). 1. If I'm correct in my impression, how do you bridge that gap for yourself and maintain your continued arousal/interest in the play that you do have together?

2. For years, I've had this self-judgement that I'm "just not submissive enough" for my female partners. But, I've come to feel recently that there may be some truth to those dom/sub percentage sliders (e.g. 80/20 Sub/Dom); and that regardless of a couple's respective positions on those scales, sexy feels must travel in both directions for the sexual connection to continue to flourish. I think most of us subs need at least some pleasure/stimulation coming back our way from these types of relationships. Do you have any tips for how to accomplish that when you're with a Domme who may not flow back to you all that you crave or hope for?

This is a pretty involved question, and one that could be discussed at length. For us, as I would imagine with a lot of couples, I probably have more of an appetite for kinky play than does Mrs Edge. This did cause some friction back when we were first married; ironically, it was chastity & denial play that helped to even things out for us.

I have come to regard this kind of imbalance as similar to those couples who have mis-matched libidos. When one's partner is not giving what you want, it's easy to see that as a rejection on one's self. That leads to depression and resentment. This is why that it's so important to keep up communicating without nagging; sometimes just talking about the issue helps to maintain the intimacy in the relationship, even if you aren't compromising on how to meet both of your needs.

For me, I "bridge the gap" by taking cold showers, thinking about sports, and eating graham crackers. Then I party like it's 1899. 😅

Seriously, at some point I decided that if locking and denying me was the only kink that my wife really enjoyed, then I would lean into it and make it as enjoyable as possible for the both of us.

What to do when your domme isn't flowing back the kind of energy you'd like? Try to keep in mind that there isn't a school that churns out dommes; instead, remember that they are women who happen to be sexually dominant. That means that what you have is a relationship problem; again, talking with your partner will at least surface the issues - but the both of you need to commit enough to the relationship in order to find some agreement, if not compromise.

If you feel like you aren't getting the kind of sexy feels flowing back to you that you would like, you may both not be communicating what you each are hoping to get from the relationship. Are you interested in service, or are you after sexual fetishes? Is she a soft, mommy domme, or is she into emotional or physical sadism?

Do you see what I'm getting at? You will get far better results communicating with your partner about your needs, and learning to compromise.

[denial-permanente]

Are you aware of the possibility of skin de-coloration due to stretching/ pinching with the use of a cage?

Basically what would normally be a darker skin tone turns much more white, almost reminding of a vitiligo

I've never seen that mentioned, nor does it appear to have happened to me. 🔏

[denial-permanente]

My Mistress wife and I tried to use Stretton, but she do not like it because it feel cold and very different then my little thing

I am cum very fast and we bought it on order that I could to pleasure Mistress wife

How did you manage to get use to the Strepon when it is not the real thing?

Thank you for your time

The problem with taking something out of the drawer is that it is much cooler than the inside of one's body. Even warming it with your hands is not enough to make it "body temperature." There are electric heaters available for sex toys, and you could wrap it in a heating pad.

I have a tall thermos mug. I fill the mug about halfway with hot tap water, and drop the Vixskin into the mug. The hot water warms up the Vixskin to a little higher than body temperature; I leave it in the mug until Mrs Edge is ready for me to use it. 🔏

[denial-permanente]

Hello Ma’am. I love Your blog page and memes on Tumblr. I’ve been a life-long sub male, I’ve served a Mistress before, (a few, the last one for several years), but have never done chastity before, even though it been in my user-name for years! I always felt I only wanted to do it in a long-term, live-in relationship, a real FLR! Marriage preferably. So my question might be best aim at your husband Tom.

What types of cages have you used in the past, what were the pros and cons of each type? Do the two of You prefer very small cages that allow no erection to even begin? Or larger ones that allow some excitement to build up before “kicking in”? Do You wear different cages depending on your plans for the day? Ever tried the ones with the tube that goes into the urethra? Seems like that would make peeing easier, but could cause pain, maybe damage the urethra, or cause infections if left in too long? Thank you!

🔏 Tom here. First off, please understand that what follows is just my personal opinion; there are way too many cages on the market now to tell you what is the best, or even in the top 10.

I prefer cages that have a more narrow internal diameter (ID) because, as a "grower", they prevent erections from happening, and so it doesn't pull the cage away from my body, and pull or stretch my testicle skin. I imagine that a "show-er" might want a slightly shorter cage to achieve the same effects.

I understand that some guys are using nub or flat cages. IMO, that just makes the skin bunch up which requires more cleaning. If that's you're thing then fine. My wife prefers the "set & forget" approach, so I wear a cage that allows me to clean without unlocking.

Likewise, I understand the appeal of a cage with an internal catheter tube. It adds to the security by preventing pull out. I guess if you have a fairly inactive lifestyle then it might work, but quite frankly I just can't get past the idea that something inserted long term is healthy. And yes, that goes for tether-spout designs, as well. I could be wrong, but I am not willing to try, and I would not recommend something that I wouldn't try myself.

I know that some guys like to switch between different cages, but my own approach has been to just find one that fits and leave it alone. The A272 that I wear is about 32mm inside, making it a little squeeze that I can feel as soon as I get a little excited. I can't remember the length, but it stops an erection from happening in my penis. However, the penis root extends well into the body, and it does push the cage away from my body, stretching my testicles along with it. I used to break the plastic cages fairly often, so the past 9 or 10 years that I've been wearing this has been pretty intense, as I know that there's no way I'm breaking out of this.

Considering the wide variety of cages available now, and how inexpensive many of them are, I'd say you may want to buy several cheap ones off AliExpress or DHGate, and just get a feel for what works for you. After that, then you can look for better cages that run along the same style and dimensions. 🔏

[denial-permanente]

Your hubby is a lucky guy! He has you and is life is meaningful, I'm a useless, pussy free, short dicked, and inferior male. I would like to find a Woman like you

I get a lot of messages like this. I usually ignore them, but I have to say something here. So many men go on about how pathetic they are as if that's supposed to be some kind of advantage?

You want to find a woman like me? Then you have to be a strong, capable, confident man. My husband is young looking and acting, stays healthy and fit, is handy and knows how to fix things, and while he is not build like a porn star he has always been a good, giving lover.

My husband is not locked because he is useless. He is locked because it makes me feel powerful to have locked up a good, strong man. To me it's like having a wild animal on a leash. Controlling a strong man is sexy. There's no fun in controlling a weak man.

Women don't want "inferior" men. Advertising yourself as useless and inferior is not the way to attract the kind of woman who would be happy to play bedroom games with you. I honestly do not understand why so many of you men make a point of mentioning how sad and pathetic you are.

[denial-permanente]

How strongly do women enjoy cunnilingus

How long is a piece of string?

[denial-permanente]

This is for MrsVanillaEdge.

First, thank you for this blog. Not the pictures, I mean the questions that you answer, and the little conversations you have with your husband. They have been really helpful for me. My husband approached me with this and he did EVERYTHING wrong. He went out and bought a cage, locked himself up, and gave me the keys ON OUR ANNIVERSARY!!! and THEN he went on to tell me all that stuff about how I can make him do more chores. I can not begin to tell you how upset I was! It took a while but I finally let him show me some sights and this blog.

I love that you and your husband are a normal couple, and have managed to use this to strengthen your marriage. Now that I have calmed down from all that, I do find the idea of keeping his "attention" kind of exciting. Not sure that I'd want it to be a permanent thing, but I love how you have made it work for you without it becoming weird. I will probably make my own account so I can ask you questions privately if that is okay with you.

I'm so sorry that you had to learn about locking your man up that way. I'm guessing that you must have seen one of my recent answers about that. Too many men live in some kind of fantasy world in their head. But I'm glad that you have had time to calm down and look at what he's really asking of you. And thank you for taking the time to let me know that we have helped you. Please feel free to drop me a note when you get your own account.

Many years ago when @tom--allen first told me about his dominatrix fantasies, I went online looking for some information, and I freaked out over what I saw. It turned out that he didn't want all that, but I had a hard time getting those images out of my head, and I could not see my husband doing those things. But I did get over it, and once in a while as a treat, I like to put on some sexy leather or tight clothes, and give him a little whipping with my riding crop. Just to remind him who's in charge. 😉

Anyway, I'm hoping that you will get a lot of satisfaction in having your husband make this up to you 😂. Tom and I have evolved into a wonderful relationship, and I would not trade this for anything.

[denial-permanente]

I just read what you posted about how you came to keep Tom locked permanently and how you told that other guy about how you like that your husband is masculine and you don't want a man like he describes he is . I love these posts and what you say about the life you and Tom have . I am a very masculine man I am not a sissy and I dont want to be humiated . I just like being locked up by my wife and the feelings I have not being in control and straining against the confines of the cage .

I know that there are men like you and my husband out there, but if all you read is Tumblr then it seems like only sissy men get locked. The way I think about it, I wouldn't want anything to do with my husband sexually if he were sissy or unmanly or talked about how worthless he is.

And obviously... if someone has a fetish for that and their wife shares it, then that's great. I prefer to focus on the kind of relationship my husband and I have because it is working out very well.

[denial-permanente]

Ive red your captions for quite a while and I keep wondering how or where does someone meet a Dom type woman who is willing to explore things like chastity.

You're asking two different things. You meet Dommes online, or at munches, or at fetish events. Some will be into locking you up others not so much.

But most women would probably be interested in indulging your kinks to some degree if your relationship has been open and honest right from the start.

This means that when you meet and start dating, you really need to be honest about your desires for such things right from the start. Maybe not on the first date, but within the first month.

[denial-permanente]

Thank you for the great captions.

Glad people are still enjoying them. I like to joke that I have like, twelve captions and I just put them on different images, and nobody seems to care. 🔏

[denial-permanente]

You guys are one of my favorites blogs of all time. I’m big into chastity cages and belts. But my wife won’t wear one so I wear mine when I can. I always have difficulty wearing it long term physically. Not so much emotionally though that does take a toll eventually.

I guess what I’m saying is, I admire both of your consistency and practical approach while keeping it real. That’s the situation I’m striving for. Good day.

Hahaha, OMG, there's no way I would wear one of those! 😂😂 I'm sorry, but I like my orgasms and I'm blessed with the ability to have a few of them. And I'm blessed with a husband who is happy to give them to me! He enjoys... maybe even thrives on being denied. Not me. I don't blame your wife for not wanting to wear one. 😂

🔏 Tom here. I can imagine a few situations in which that might be fun, but my wife doesn't even like it when I edge her. When that train is on the track, there's no stopping it without consequences. 😉

[denial-permanente]

Does your locked husband use a Prince Albert piercing to keep his chastity cage firmly attached?

We looked into piercings a long time ago. He had a frenum (?) done but it just didn't work out with the cage. Neither of us want him to get one of those PA piercings. And after all these years it's really not that important.

[denial-permanente]

Do you peg your chaste husband? Does your husband intend to wear his chastity cage on his deathbed? Will he take the cage with him to his grave?

First of all, pegging is a really horrible sounding term. I don't even like using it, it just sounds gross.

No, I don't do that. My husband wears the strapon (another term I'm not crazy about) over his cage for me. In our relationship, I get to lay back and get all the pleasure. Wearing one for him and doing all the work is not what I want.

Now about his cage... It doesn't matter what he intends to do, it matters what I want. And what I intend is for my husband to remain caged for the rest of our marriage.

Obviously, if there are medical reasons for him to remove it then naturally he won't be locked.

And since we both desire to be cremated, he won't be wearing anything after his death.

I really don't think about this nor do I think about what he will do if he outlives me. Maybe he will choose to continue wearing it in my memory, but I don't give this any thought.

[denial-permanente]

When you are caged how frequent is it to get aching balls? (Intended as the discomfort you get for not ejaculating and feeling excited, nothing to do with ring/cage size)

Is that discomfort part of the "experience" and you wait for it to pass, or is it to be avoided / dangerous?

And how does that change over the years?

🔏 I have a pretty healthy libido, and my wife was very attractive, so my testicles were aching constantly!

Eventually my body adapted, but even now after we'll over 25 years of being caged, my wife still manages to give me that familiar dull ache in my groin. Usually it was first thing in the morning on my way to work because I almost always wake up horny and spooning her butt. 😅

The ache is caused by vasocongestion - the blood collecting in your groin because the hormones driving your erection cause all those blood vessels to tighten up. You're sore because you have a lot of fluid in there.

Now that I'm older, and have literally been locked "permanently" for over eight years, the ache still happens but usually just in the morning or after sex (during which I'm usually not allowed orgasm, of course).

[denial-permanente]

I just want to wish the both of you a happy new year and hopefully another year of Tom being permanently locked up and penetration free. I have been enjoying your stories and blog for the past few years. I like how you didn't turn chastity into a cuckold or sissy or mistress blog and have even showed some of your posts to my wife, and it inspires her to keep me locked longer and longer. It won't be permanent like you but it has been an exciting journey for the both of us. Thank you for being someplace that mostly regular people like us can enjoy!

Thanks for noticing 😅. I have been writing about this for an really long time, and I'm still pleasantly surprised when someone writes that they remember me from some blog or forum years ago.

My wife and I both admit that our relationship became a bit more extreme than we anticipated, and wouldn't necessarily advocate this to everyone. But we're certainly happy that others have discovered that they can revitalize their relationship through denial, and that this doesn't have to lead to or intersect with other kinks if they don't want to.