TRIGGER WARNING: there may be some very sensitive content in this piece
🌼(Don’t worry, most of my pieces are based off of reality but not this one — this is STRICTLY FICTION) 🌼
It took me years to see your face again only to say my goodbyes and give my heavy heart closure. It was only supposed to be for a night of just talking, letting each other know that we both have separate lives and you can never fit in my world and vice versa.
Although, only I was stupid enough to meet you again. Only I was too bored at home and asked you if I could come over. So I went; I came there with you waiting for me by the gates of your house, seeing your smile even though it was covered with a dust mask.
We met again. This time was different; we talked about our hopes and dreams, about my struggles with my college life, about your struggles with the business you are managing. You bought me some snacks and took care of me as if I am still yours, as if you did not leave me.
The sun was setting and it was getting dark and I can only see your hands, it was the same as before, strong yet so gentle. I felt it caress my face, and I felt all the love I was longing for all these time, the reason why I wanted to go back to the place where I came from, my home.
Only I was unsafe in my own home. I was not safe with my person. You did ask me and I agreed, yet you still forced yourself in me and hurt me unknowingly. I didn’t know since I still love you and no matter what you do I always will. Or maybe I let you did it because I felt that if something happened to me, you will come back and do what it takes to take care of me, and cherish everything; I wanted it because you might come back.
You did not. You considered all of these things as closure and as soon as I came back you went out and got a new love life. You erased me and put me in my actual place — your past. I on the other hand, suffered from all the trauma that you inflicted, yet I cannot tell anyone because I caused it to happen.
It’s funny how you raped me and I am still here being sorry thinking it was my fault. You were my person; you could have respected me but you chose to rip off my innocence and dignity. You made my life a living hell.
