Welcome to the hit game show... Can You ADULT?

I lose every time, but I'm always looking for new opponents

[keydekyie]

"It would have been easier if you'd just said yes."

original

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[thewindowofthesummerhouse]

Lydia Pettit

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you deserve a life you aren’t constantly recovering from

[shadow-von-vamp]

reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared

[tractorgoth]

[plaguedocboi]

Are you guys aware of chimney swifts??

They’re in the same order as hummingbirds and, in some positions, you can see the resemblance

But like… a hummingbird that’s cosplaying as a falcon.

Sleek. Efficient. Aerodynamic. Perfectly optimized.

Also they like to sleep in chimneys, hence the name, and when they perch they become very very flat

They also like to sleep in groups

Anyway 10/10 weird little beast. Love these little flat fuck hummingbird falcons

[hgedits]

The Artemis II crew naming two previously undiscovered lunar craters (one after Commander Reid Wiseman's late wife).

[eknippp]

Some of our favorite quotes from Artemis ii so far:

"Copy. Moon joy."

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."

"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."

“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”

"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon."

"We just went sci fi."

"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."

"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."

“It’s a bright spot on the moon, and we would like to call it Carroll.”

"Amaze amaze amaze."

"I said that we do not leave Earth, but we choose it. And that is true."

"Christina has been sleeping head down in the middle of the vehicle, kind of like a bat"

"It's really fun to be floatin' around, it just makes me feel like a little kid."

"Trust us, you look amazing, you look beautiful."

"'Homo Sapiens' is all of us, no matter where you're from or what you look like. We're all one people."

"I'm proud to call myself the Space Plumber."

"We were all eagerly awaiting the chorus."

"Copy heart. Copy bracelet."

“Welcome back. We are still here. They are in space.”

"Copy. Bubble wrap nominal."

"We have rediscovered the chocolate snacks."

“The truth is, the moon really is its own body in the universe. It's not just a poster in the sky that goes by, it is a real place."

[imnotjustreadingg-volume-two]

bucky barnes faves fics 1

of course there are a ton of other fics (mostly old ones when i got my account online for the first time) but i need to dig more into the memory… here's the first list of all the amazing works and people on here <3

by knowledgeableknitter

🎀 matchmaker steve

🎀 isn't it obvious?

🎀 valentine's day disaster

by sassandscribbles

🎀 crimes against curls

🎀 the quiet between us

🎀 the time when i drundenly wrote letters to my boss…

🎀 bucky barnes who knows he's cute

🎀 meet me in the shadows

🎀 midnight rain

by definitelynotaginger

🎀 a series of fortunate events

🎀 nanny dutties

by harveystan

🎀 and the world somehow shifted

🎀 a lot of work

🎀 not enought right now

🎀 safe

by emmathefanficgal

🎀 and yet

by multiversefanfics

🎀 patch you up

by buckybarnes82

🎀 four eyes and juicy thighs

by buckytakethewheel

🎀 heavy in your arms

by moonstoneandmoonlight

🎀 the waitress

by buckysgirlll

🎀 mob!bucky takes care of his sick!gf

by pinksplace

🎀 stand up guy

by societyfolklore

🎀 being nice

by brunchable

🎀 i suck at valentine's day

by quantumbarnes

🎀 james buchanan "boob guy" barnes

by sleepy-k0y

🎀 weird pastime, but ok

🎀 baby crossing

[handweavers]

mice are having sex in my walls :(

[handweavers]

the mice are fucking AND now i'm getting heckled

[gloriousbodies]

@oyavaski​ i think the funniest part of this is you thinking that this is fake because.....some of us are the same age and we have normal tumblr names i guess lmao????

[handweavers]

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

[eldriitchmurmurs]

you fucked those mice yourself

[handweavers]

I fucked those mice myself

[mindflamer]

original by clairetablizo

[shapeshiftinterest]

transcript under the read more

claire tablizo: i've never made banana bread before but i KNOW it shouldn't look like that

comments:

lex: hey so like. what the hell happened.

susannah: is the banana bread in the room with us

bone pharaoh: look on the bright side! you still get to bake banana bread for the first time!

andy: how is it wet AND burnt???

eggo: i fear you created a new element

[email protected]: so close! you actually need flour and not crude oil!

honda_accord_xgen: concepts of banana bread

keekswinds: did you forget everything but the sugar

owlbearzz: always make banana bread every 2000 miles

NFLstuff: all that's missing is the banana bread

vonzuben: archeologists finding evidence of banana bread at pompeii

redorkulessrex: is it under the sauce?

mzahradnicek: hey babe i think you still haven't made banana bread maybe

avg pomappreciater: making this seems harder than making banana bread

catherine: queen i wouldn't know how to recreate that outcome if i tried

maxine: do you do weddings??

claire tablizo: HAHAHA

[dajo42]

][ 🐑

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sheep getting in an elevator. idk man i made this account in 2010 ive made every other post already

[nightmarereverie]

Cinnamoroll pins

[kaijuno]

[mousenemy]

give it up for another 70 years of goo

[infectiouspiss]

2026

FUCK HARD

FUCK FAST

FUCK BADLY

NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI

CREATE JOY

MUSIC ALWAYS

PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET

YUMMY SOUP

go see the doctor about that thing

BE TRANSGENDER

KISS YOUR FRIENDS

EAT CHEESE

NEVER KILL YOURSELF

THRIVE

[hopeless-eccentric]

if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it

[hopeless-eccentric]

ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

anyway thats what id do if i met a genie

[parkchanwoohoo]

I think my coworker's fucking the IT guy bc we normally have to submit a ticket and they'll get back to us in 2-3 days unless it's crazy urgent. But he showed up like 1.5 hours after and went "Tanya... you miss me already?" And she giggled and went "omg stop Daviddd" meanwhile I'm sitting here like

[parkchanwoohoo]

He was like "You sure you're not just coming up with excuses ;)" and she was like "Nooo my mouse really keeps dying" and he was like "Haha I believe you" and I felt awk so I blurted out "It's good of you to like, validate her fears" and they both looked at me like I just appeared in their bedroom