It actually took a while into the first episode of How To Get To Heaven from Belfast for me to understand the friendship the main 3 have. At first, I assumed all 4 women had fallen out of touch as adults, and that Greta had just kept in touch the least. But I turned out to be wrong in both directions! Greta was, like, basically disappeared, and Robyn, Saoirse, and Dara had stayed tight the whole time!
idk if the way they were introduced was meant to give that impression? For me, it evoked a trope I feel like I've seen a lot (i think mostly in American comedies?) where high school friends have grown apart and the story emphasizes how different they have become, and how little they feel they have in common now, implying they're no longer compatible as friends.
But Saoirse, Dara, and Robyn have stayed close despite building very different lives for themselves! 💕 They honestly don't understand each other very well in some ways, but they don't let that affect how much they care about each other! Like, maybe I'm jaded, or uncultured, but it feels rare and refreshing to see fictional adults (especially women) be friends in such a solid and genuine way.
I think my favorite scene so far, for that specific feeling, was when the three of them are sitting in Robyn's house and arguing with her husband! 😄 At first we just see and hear Robyn and Jim, but then the other two join in, politely and firmly backing Robyn up. It's been established that the three women live very different lives, have their own worlds, and this is Robyn's world– but it doesn't matter! Dara and Saoirse are there, unapologetic, taking up space, making themselves comfortable. Robyn even corrects Jim when she feels he's being disrespectful to her girls, making her home environment bend to accommodate them.
(I don't remember the exact exchange rn, I think he may not even have actually been being rude? But I think my point stands either way!) (As an advocate for child rights I do NOT think Robyn is a good mother, but she is a really good character and a pretty good friend! Also she's, like, a very average and normal mother imo? Lacking in a way that is very common.)
Dara can tell Robyn's highlights are less than a day old. Saoirse and Robyn are completely caught up on Dara's lesbian drama. Robyn and Dara are going to wear matching frocks in Saoirse's wedding, even though she clearly did not ask them to be bridesmaids and isn't really interested in planning the wedding. Robyn knows how many months of the year Saoirse spends in either London or Belfast.
They argue and criticize and judge each other, but none of that strikes deep enough to hit the core of their friendship. Dara is a practicing Catholic while the other two seem to be atheists. Robyn is particular about her appearance in a way that the other two completely clash with. Saorise is a snob who looks down on exactly the kind of people her best friends are. ("then I'd be someone who lives in Belfast") They've got different goals and values.
And none of it matters!! None of it affects how important they are to each other, or how much they fundamentally trust and respect each other. (I specify fundamentally, because, superficially, there is a lot of distrust and disrespect happening!)
idk, I guess I hadn't realized how much I'd internalized the idea that we can only be close with people we're more similar to than not? And I appreciate this story for asserting otherwise.
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