Marriage Counsellor (FF XIII AU Snippet)
The robed figure stood alone on the outcrop of rock. She thrust her staff at the sky, and the sky answered. The clouds darkened. The wind rose. The afternoon light gave way to a darkness so complete it might as well have been the dead of night.
Fell voices filled the air, and it began to drizzle. Within moments, rain was pouring down so hard that the robed figure could barely keep upright. A flash of light lit up the clouds, and the boom of thunder shook the outcrop of rock. The clouds above began to twist and writhe as they took shape.
A regal face appeared in the sky, hewn of clouds with eyes wrought of lightning. It was the face of a woman whose beauty was beyond mortal comprehension. A vast mouth opened, and the thunder gave voice to words.
“Who dares speak my name?”
The robed figure waved her staff to get the attention of the titanic face in the sky.
The eyes made of lightning rolled. “That doesn’t help.”
“Hmm… I guess you’re right. Well, it’s me. Vanille. You know, High Priestess of Fang the Goddess of the Earth.”
“Ah. You.” The clouds shuddered, and those features twisted into a scowl. “Has my wife sent you to apologise for her.”
Vanille twitched. “Kind of… maybe not.”
“Do you mean to say that my wife wants me, Lightning, the Goddess of the Sky to apologise to her?” Vivid bursts of electricity illuminated the sky, and the thunder that followed nearly threw Vanille off her feet. “Because if so…”
“Please don’t smite me!” Vanille held up her staff. “Remember, I’m not the one who thinks you should apologise. I am merely relaying the words of my goddess to you. So if you have to smite anyone, smite her, not me!”
The ground beneath Vanille shook.
“Typical.” The goddess of the sky made a disgusted sound. “My wife knows she is in the wrong, but she refuses to apologise. Instead, she sends her high priestess to face my wrath instead of facing me herself. I always knew she was a clod, but to think she was a coward too…”
Vanille yelped as the mountain beneath her tore open. In the blink of an eye, she was standing atop the shoulder of a massive woman made of rock and stone.
“A coward?” Fang growled, and her growl was like every avalanche in the world at once. “You dare call me a coward, Lightning?”
“I call you a coward because you are one, Fang.” The lightning in the sky intensified, and the wind grew until it was like a hurricane.
“Wait!” Vanille shouted, clinging tightly onto a rock. “Wait! Don’t start fighting!”
The face in the sky turned to Vanille. “We are talking, mortal. Be silent.”
“Normally, I would be,” Vanille said. “But if you two start fighting, you’ll totally end up crushing the mortal world, and, you know, I kind of live there. So, if you could maybe stick to just talking things over instead of fighting that would be great.”
“Do you dare presume to advise us?” Lightning’s eyes shone with the brightness of a thousand suns. “We are eternal, mortal. We have always been, and we shall always be, and -”
“And you’ve never been to a marriage counsellor before, have you?” Vanille cut in. “Because I’m also qualified to do that, and I think it might help.”
Lightning stared at Vanille in disbelief. Then she began to laugh. “I see why you like this mortal, Fang. Very well, what would you have us do?”
Vanille took a deep breath. “To begin with, every relationship is about respect. Calling people ‘coward’ isn’t very respectful and…”
And that was how Vanille became marriage counsellor to the gods.
