Slay The Professor @slaytheprofessor - Tumblr Blog

"Why would killing me end the world?" you ask. "Am... am I really all that powerful?"

The Guide starts to respond... and then he bursts out into a wild, frenzied coughing fit.

The Guide: *chokes, sputters* Damn.

The Guide: I... *swallows* If I could tell you more, I would. But this place... it's not letting me.

The Guide: Just know that... just know that you are more important than you could ever know. To the world, I mean.

The Guide: And to me. We... we're friends. I know you don't remember anything, but we are friends. And I'm on your side.

Explore:

Thank you. I think I need a friend right now.

(Head down the street)

Voting ended onAug 1, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet

"Could you tell me about this professor?" you ask. "Why is he so dangerous, exactly? Isn't he just... some guy?"

The Guide: *small laugh* You're not entirely wrong. He is just a man.

The Guide: But... but that is why he is so dangerous. He can end the world through sheer, stubborn hubris alone.

The Guide: He believes that killing you will save the world, but it will do the opposite. The only way to prevent that is to take care of him before that happens.

The Guide: Unless, of course, you believe he can be reasoned with. But that is unlikely.

Explore:

How do you know all of this? Who are you?

Why would killing me end the world? Am I really all that powerful?

I might give reasoning a try. (Head down the street)

Well, no sense in waiting around. (Head down the street)

Voting ended onJul 30, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet

"There are lights on in... like, half of the windows," you point out. "It doesn't really seem all that abandoned to me."

There is silence. Then:

The Guide: I... I'm not entirely sure why that is, if I'm being honest.

The Guide: Maybe they all left in a hurry. I don't know. Is---is that your only concern?

Explore:

Could you tell me about this professor? Why is he so dangerous?

Wait, you're just going to move past that?

How come I don't remember anything?

Yeah, that's my only question. Let's go. (Head down the street)

Voting ended onJul 29, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet

Chapter I: The Researcher and The Professor

You are back again, for the third time.

You, of course, cannot remember that this is your third time, but your loss of memory does not bring you fear or uncertainty as it did before. Rather, when you awaken to see the city, you are lost in calm contemplation.

Half of the windows in the city have lights shining in them. When you look up, you can see more stars than you ever have in your life.

It's beautiful. It's more than you could have dreamed of. It is comforting.

And yet, there is still something inside of you that warns you that you may not be able to escape.

Just as you think that, you hear your Guide---your beautiful Guide, whose voice brings you happiness even though you believe it to be the first time you have ever heard him.

The Guide: You're on a street in an abandoned city. In this city is an old library. And in the basement of that library is a professor.

The Guide: You're here to slay him. If you don't, he'll escape and kill you, bringing about the end of the world.

Explore:

The end of the world? What are you talking about?

How could killing me end the world in the first place? Who even are you?

There are lights on in some of the windows. Doesn't seem that abandoned to me.

What's so dangerous about a professor, anyways? Why should I be scared of him?

Nice! I always wanted to off my teachers as a kid. I think. I probably did!

(Silently continue down the street)

Voting ended onJul 28, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #on my hands and knees again #PLEASE let me write the scientist or the warlock PLEASE

"What do you think of this shard?" you ask, hoping faintly that he won't mind. That despite everything, he still cares about the broken-up substitute, as it is still a part of himself.

That's not the answer you get, however.

The Professor: *small sigh* This one is... a mess of contradiction. He is so scattered and confused that even I am more whole than he is. You turned him into everything, and in doing that, you robbed him of his chance to be anything. He'll make for a jumbled and incoherent mind, but a mind nonetheless.

The Professor: Do not mourn him. This is all he can ever be.

You falter. "You---you were so nice about the judge. Why aren't you showing him the same kindness?"

The Professor: At least the judge knew what his purpose was, my dear.

In spite of yourself, you cast your head down in shame, knowing full well that the substitute's condition is your fault. You are the only one to blame for how he is.

But why should the professor be so dismissive?

"I think I'm ready," you say aloud. "Send me back. I'll actually go this time, don't worry."

The Professor: Of course you will.

The Professor: You won't have a choice.

Before you can ask, everything around you shatters.

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #stp the narrator #SIXTY-NINTH POST BABY

"Hey, uh, do you..." You tap your left temple. "Do you hear voices in your head? Like I do?"

The Professor: You hear voices in your head?

You freeze, realizing that you may have said something very wrong indeed.

The Professor: I mean, I---you were always wearing something different when you came to me, I...

The Professor: That must be them, correct? The parts of you that you yourself are gathering?

You nod.

The Professor: To answer your question, no, I... I don't hear voices. I just become what you think I am.

The Professor: Maybe your voices reflect what you think of yourself. I'm not sure.

Explore:

What do you think of this shard?

I think I'm ready to go back, now. I promise I'll actually go this time.

Voting ended onJul 27, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #stp the narrator

"I'm sorry," you say, knowing full well that you do mean it this time. "I didn't realize that not going would turn out like... this."

The Professor: Oh, you were bound to reach this one eventually. You're sharp enough, you knew when to question what you'd been told.

The Professor: I like this new look, by the way.

You look back down at your outfit, tugging slightly at the skirt. "Thank you. It's... I don't know how it's happening, honestly."

The Professor: If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that I'm beginning to see your side of things. At least, when it comes to how you see yourself.

The Professor: I'm afraid my mind is still cloudy. I can grasp at something, but it's... it's just out of my reach.

Explore:

Then you need more shards, is that right?

Do you hear voices in your head? Like I do?

What do you think of this shard?

Voting ended onJul 26, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #stp the narrator #sorry that this is so late gang i've had a crazy past few days

"Hey, hey, it's okay," you soothe your voices, giving yourself a hug in lieu of the ability to even touch them. "I've seen this before. If I lose you both, I'll find you again. Promise."

There is silence. Then:

Voice of the Rebel: *weakly* You promise?

You laugh slightly. "Yeah. Cross my heart."

Voice of the Rebel: Then... then I'm ready.

Voice of the Researcher: Me, too.

You approach the mirror and take a deep breath, wiping it clean.

What you see... startles you.

Make no mistake, you are still clearly a princess. You have the crown, you have the frilly sleeves---nobody would mistake you for anything else. But now, your skirt is much shorter, and you see that underneath, you're wearing pants... and boots that are much more befitting of a brave adventurer.

You're no longer a damsel in distress. You are a princess who has seen the world, and you are a princess who is determined to fight for it.

It's not the reprieve you wanted. It's not the change you wanted. But it is a start.

The mirror fades away, and you are back in the beautiful surroundings of the Long Quiet. Voices scrubbed away from you, yes, but you do feel a little bit more whole than before.

You make your way to the cabin, knowing what to expect by now. Eventually, you reach the professor.

He still manifests as shards of glass surrounding his most recent vessel---the unsteady substitute that resembles a neo-cubist painting more than an actual man---and birdlike talons covering the vessel's eyes. And when he speaks, you actually feel a pang of sympathy as you hear his voice... because, after all, this vessel faced more harm from you than him in the end.

The Professor: *vaguely amused* Decided to be a bit more rebellious this time around, hmm?

Explore:

Sorry. I didn't realize that not going would turn out like... this.

Come on, I didn't remember. Can't blame me for leaving the path, Big Bad Wolf.

Do you remember a little bit more, now? Even with this guy?

How come I'm starting to look different?

Voting ended onJul 20, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator #oooooh looks like we're changing!

You won't get the chance to answer the professor's question, and you never will. It's time to leave. Memory returns.

You are in the Long Quiet again, and you can appreciate its comfort more now. It's no longer unfamiliar, just a gentle embrace.

Voice of the Rebel: Wh---what the fuck happened? Where are we?

Voice of the Researcher: Hey---hey, something's wrong. Do you know where everything went?

The mirror appears in front of you, somehow looking even more foreboding. You wince internally, remembering what you saw the last time... and you're not too eager to see it again.

But see it you must, in order to move forward.

Voice of the Researcher: Shit. Why's the mirror here?

Voice of the Rebel: Smash it. I don't wanna see what's there.

Voice of the Researcher: I don't---can you even smash it?

Voice of the Rebel: I don't. Want to see. What's there.

Explore:

It's okay. I've seen this before. If I lose you two, I'll find you again.

Shut it, both of you. You're giving me a headache, and I want you gone.

(Silently approach the mirror)

Voting ended onJul 18, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #stp princess #stp the razor

"You're... you're a professor," you say gently, reaching out a hand. "Someone trapped you here."

Voice of the Researcher: And someone wants him dead.

The Guide: The professor tears at his hair that splits apart and reforms again, grabbing at a chest that has a gaping wound one moment and is just flat paper the next.

The Professor: No... no, I have class. *starts to cry two-dimensional, cartoon tears* I have class in a few minutes---oh, god, what do I teach? I swear, I had notes, I---why can't I remember what I teach?

The Professor: Oh... oh, no, no, no, no, no...

The Professor: Why can't I remember my name?

Voice of the Rebel: We... we did this.

Voice of the Rebel: I did this. I did this to him.

Voice of the Researcher: No, don't say---

Voice of the Rebel: DON'T try to sugarcoat this, teacher's pet! He wouldn't have become this if it weren't for me! I---

Voice of the Rebel: *voice breaks* I wouldn't have appeared if we hadn't left the first time.

The Guide: You thought you were doing the right thing.

Voice of the Rebel: Well, I was wrong, wasn't I?

The Professor: Help me. *starts to tremble* Help me. Help...

The Professor: Why... why is it cold?

The Guide cannot narrate what happens next.

You and your voices watch as the professor breaks apart, the sound of shattered glass filling your ears. As the world fades away, talons merge from out of the darkness, collecting the shards of the man who you turned into everything, and nothing at all.

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

The Guide: You step forward, and... something truly odd happens.

The Guide: You feel yourself walking forward with a newfound determination, but you also feel yourself walking forward with a tremble in your step. You feel your hand tighten around the blade, but you also feel it loosen as it clatters uselessly to the floor. You feel yourself lunge for the professor, but you also feel yourself turn around and head towards the stairs.

Voice of the Rebel: Wait, what?

The Guide: All of this happens. All of this unfolds. And you see the professor respond to you in kind, in all of his multitudes.

The Guide: The world is collapsing around on you, folding in like a black hole as you fight and save and slay and soothe and leave the professor in the same dizzying instant.

Voice of the Rebel: Wait---no, wait, go back--- *panic* Guide, can we go back? Please tell me we can go back, this isn't---

The Guide: The professor struggles to fight back and offers no resistance and tells you what to do and pulls out a weapon and spits in your face and whispers endless thank-yous into your ear as the chain clatters to the ground. The manacle is broken, the manacle still keeps him bound, the manacle still holds his hand but his hand is no longer attached to his body---what do his glasses look like? Are they circular, are they angular, are they broken, are they fixed, are they perfectly clean, are they opaque? Is he bleeding out, or is he fine? Does he still have your knife buried in your chest?

The Guide: You cannot tell anymore.

Voice of the Rebel: No---no, no, no, no, no, no, NO---

The Guide: All the many different angles of the professor smash together and collide, all those ill-fitting pieces forcing each other to connect and form into something. And form it does.

The Guide: Standing before you now, as the rest of the world swirls into impossibility, is a shaking and terrified man, made out of abstract shapes and all the wrong dimensions. He is nothing, he is everything, and he knows not what to do.

Voice of the Researcher: *hushed* Oh... oh fuck.

Voice of the Rebel: NO! No, this isn't what's supposed to happen! This isn't what I meant to---

Voice of the Rebel: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm sorry! I didn't think---we can fix this, right? This---we have to be able to fix this, right?

Voice of the Researcher: I... I don't know. I'm sorry, babe, I... I don't know.

The Guide: The professor's voice is scratchy and layered over itself, sounding akin to an old record.

The Professor: Where am I? Who am I? What's going on?

The Professor: What... what did you do to me?

Explore:

I didn't know that this would happen.

You're... you're a professor. Someone trapped you here.

I can try to help. I think.

Voting ended onJul 16, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

"Oh, is there going to be a test?" you say innocently, batting your eyes as your Rebel's enthusiasm begins to take you over. "What's it on? History? Biology? Should I be breaking out my Algebra knowledge?"

The Professor (Blank): You are well aware what this test is about.

The Professor (Zany): No, no, no, we can do a guessing game! Here, you try and guess what the test's about, and if you guess wrong, I'll do a buzzer noise, but if you guess right---

The Guide: The professor splits again.

The Guide: This one has heavy bags under his eyes, ratted hair, and a wholly unsettling grin. As he examines you, you feel a jolt of pure, cold fear.

The Professor (Cruel): Come now, my dear, let's not play around, shall we? I see the knife that you're failing to hide.

Voice of the Researcher: Well, shit.

The Professor (Cruel): *laughs, high-pitched and for a full minute* Decided to push your rebellious streak to its limit, have you? What do you say about that?

The Professor (Strict): Oh, suspension for sure, for bringing a weapon to school. Perhaps even expulsion.

The Professor (Zany): *nervous* Hang on, now, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this. Have you been having some trouble at home? Maybe you've been getting bullied a little?

The Professor (Strict): Or fallen in with the wrong crowd---

The Professor (Sad): Who even cares? I can confiscate it if it means that much to you, but you'll probably figure out a way to get it back.

The Professor (Cruel): Maybe I'll lock you in the supply closet so you can't get it back. The janitor will likely find you during his rounds.

Voice of the Rebel: Uh... I don't think I like this one?

Voice of the Researcher: Look, we need to nip this in the bud, now. We're not asking him any more questions, and we're not entertaining this classroom bullshit.

Voice of the Rebel: But---*anxious little laugh* H-hang on, let's think about this! There's gotta be a way to figure this out, right? I don't think we've hit the limit yet---

The Guide: I agree with her.

Voice of the Rebel: Yeah, of course you agree with her! Of course you don't want to listen to me! Never mind that I'm the one here who sees through your bullshit!

The Guide: What do you mean?

Voice of the Rebel: *harsh laugh* Come on, asshole, you can't tell us what's going on because this place is keeping your mouth shut? That's the flimsiest fucking excuse I've ever heard! You're just keeping us in the dark for kicks at best, and at worst, it's because you don't want to admit that you're making us into the villain here!

The Guide: I am not! I never have! If you knew what he did---

Voice of the Rebel: And what did he do?! This fucking beanpole of a man whose brain is so fucked up that he can't even comprehend that he's a prisoner? How is he the danger here, and not the freaky voice in our head?!

Voice of the Researcher: Hey, we're also freaky voices in her head---

Voice of the Rebel: Well, he's different, isn't he?

Voice of the Researcher: I don't think he is! And I'm not too jazzed about killing the professor, even when he's like this, but at least I'm not doing stupid shit in the name of pissing the only person here who's trying to help us off!

Voice of the Rebel: Fuck you. *voice breaks* FUCK you both.

The Guide: Like it or not, you have to make a decision now. For all of us.

Voice of the Researcher: Just do what you feel like you have to. Don't listen to any of us. Go with your gut.

The Guide: And hopefully... hopefully, this will fix itself.

The Guide: *softer* Rebel? Are---

Voice of the Rebel: *voice thick with emotion* She can do whatever the hell she wants.

Explore:

(Leave) (Save the professor) (Slay the professor)

Voting ended onJul 15, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

"Okay, we're doing this. Um..." You take a small step forward, keeping the knife hidden behind your back. "What's this class about, anyways? I forgot my notes."

Voice of the Rebel: *gleeful cackle* That's my girl!

The Professor (Strict): Are you stupid? You know perfectly well what this class is about, don't try to play the---

The Guide: The professor splits again.

The Guide: This one is far more relaxed and unquestionably cheerful, with a big smile on his face as he regards you with a wink.

The Professor (Zany): Uh-oh, we've got ourselves a class clown in our midst, huh? Come on, don't be shy, get all those witty quips out! You're gonna need a level head if we're going to be learning!

Voice of the Researcher: Huh. Okay, we're leaving that one and the mopey one alone, right?

Voice of the Rebel: Ugh, no, this one's annoying. Ask him another question.

Voice of the Researcher: What? No---

The Professor (Blank): Do try to remember the material as best as you can.

The Professor (Sad): Or don't. Hand in a blank quiz for all I care, it's all the same in the end.

The Professor (Strict): Of course it matters. Every single grade you receive dictates the course of your very life. And if you've shown up to class this unprepared, there's no doubt that you'll end up a delinquent. You're clearly already halfway there.

The Professor (Zany): Uh-uh, let's not have that attitude! We're not gonna worry about grades and tests and all that, it's all about getting some knowledge into that noggin!

The Guide: *whispers* What is actually happening right now?

Voice of the Rebel: Oh, great, Guyfail's confused. Ask something else.

Explore:

So I showed up to class unprepared. Big deal! How come you're picking on ME?

Oh, is there gonna be a test? What's it on? History? Math? Biology?

All right, look, I don't wanna play around anymore---this. Isn't. A. Classroom.

*hold up the knife* Hey, buddy, I've been sent here to kill you. Stop kidding.

Voting ended onJul 13, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

"Uh..." You blink, unsure of how to take this. "Dude, look around. You're chained up in a basement."

The Professor (Sad): It definitely feels that way, I will---

The Guide: The professor splits again.

The Guide: This one looks down on you as if you are a pest, head held high and nose perpetually wrinkled in disgust.

The Professor (Strict): Chained up in a basement? Nonsense.

The Professor (Blank): Yes. Nonsense. Class is in session. Take a seat.

Voice of the Rebel: Tell him that there's no seats.

Voice of the Researcher: Why would---

Voice of the Rebel: *shushes* I wanna see what happens.

"There aren't any seats," you say aloud, taking a step backward. "And again, this isn't a classroom. This is---"

The Professor (Strict): *scoffs* I should've known, you're a troublemaker, aren't you? That hideous leather jacket, those torn-up jeans---they give everything away. That's a violation of the dress code, you know? I could write you up for that.

The Professor (Sad): Oh, what's the point? Wear whatever you want. It doesn't really matter in the end.

Voice of the Rebel: W... wait, is that me?

Voice of the Researcher: What are you even talking about? We're just voices---

Voice of the Rebel: He's talking about me. That's what I'm wearing. I---holy shit, how do I know what I'm wearing?

The Guide: *bewildered* I... I have no clue. I---

Voice of the Rebel: Ask him something else.

Explore:

*snarky* I wasn't aware that this weird-ass basement HAD a dress code.

*playing along* Okay, well, what's this class about, then? I forgot my notes.

I think I must have the wrong classroom, then?

Why are there three of you now? What's happening here?

HEY! This isn't a game! You're locked in a basement, and I'm here to kill you!

Voting ended onJul 12, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator #oh look another instance of our appearance reflecting the voice in our head #hmm....

"Are..." Your grip tightens on the knife. "Are you the professor?"

Voice of the Rebel: Uh, yeah, of course he's the professor. Look at those glasses, those are teacher glasses.

The Guide: As you say that, the professor suddenly fades into view. He is as thin as a reed, with shoulder-length dark hair tied back, strands falling into his face. He is wearing a simple shirt and trousers, and he is staring at you with an utterly blank expression on his face.

The Professor: Take a seat, please. Class is about to begin.

Voice of the Researcher: Does... does he not realize that he's chained up? At all?

"What do you mean, 'class?'" you ask. "I thought you were trapped here."

The Professor: *stitled* I'm your professor. You're just in time for---

The Guide: A second professor appears as you hear the sound of glass breaking. This one is morose and withdrawn, shoulders hunched as though the weight of the world rests on his shoulders.

The Professor: Yes, I know, we're all trapped here, aren't we? I keep on telling myself, it won't be long before retirement, but the requirements for tenure just keep getting more and more ridiculous... *sighs* Never mind. You're young, you don't need me complaining about all of my problems.

Explore:

Are you---do you think that you're in a classroom right now?

Dude, look around. You're chained up in a basement.

Are you okay? Like... in the head, I mean?

Voting ended onJul 10, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

The Guide: You take the middle stairs, though they may be the most confusing. Every step sends a jolt of fear through your body, about the possibility of falling into the chalkboard void... but when you hold up your hand and feel the space beside you, you feel walls.

The Guide: The stairs wind into each other, creating endless, branching pathways. At first, you have no idea where to go, but there is something in you that knows which steps to take. Like it or not, the stairs are not there to lead you astray---just where you are always meant to be.

The Guide: You reach the basement... and everything hits you at once as you open the door.

The Guide: You feel a mixture of a thousand different emotions, a thousand different sensations. They cut into you like shards of glass, but you still stand your ground as they dissolve into something you can understand.

You are staring at a white void, not a basement. But as the Guide speaks, five pairs of arms appear, each for the sensation he describes.

The Guide: Greed and deception.

A dragon's tail, spined and scaled, across vines twisted together with animal bones.

The Guide: Reclusiveness and wonder.

A series of ripped up papers with hurried, illegible writing on them, across whirls of starry, sparkly smoke.

The Guide: Brutality and superiority.

A knot of bloody organs, across a series of black-feathered quills wrapped in a thin chain.

The Guide: Mania and despair.

A crackle of lightning, across mottled skin stitched together.

The Guide: Brilliance and confusion.

A spiral of wires, gears, and endless machinery, crossed with childlike shapes, numbers, and letters of the alphabet.

The Guide: And throughout it all, an emotion that can only be described as---

Then the void disappears.

The Guide: You are standing in the basement. The stone walls are covered in nonsense equations and poetry, and sitting across from you is the Professor---eyes bright behind his glasses, but otherwise obscured.

The Professor: Hello. It's time for class. Please take a seat.

Voice of the Researcher: Whaaaaat the fuuuuuuuck?

Voice of the Rebel: Uh... didn't he say that already?

Explore:

Are you the professor?

I heard that you want to kill me.

What's wrong with this place? What's wrong with YOU?

I think I'm supposed to kill you?

What do you mean, "class?" I thought you were trapped here.

Voting ended onJul 9, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator #oooooooh my god i've been waiting so long to write this part

You flex your jaw and steel your nerves, turning the blade around in your hand---and surprising yourself with the realization that your Rebel actually had a point. "Let's do this."

The Guide: You open the door to the basement, and...

The Guide: Well. Shit.

Voice of the Researcher: *groan* Of course it'd be worse.

The Guide: The, uh... *clears throat* The stairs to the basement are split into a thousand different spiraling paths, floating in a void along with shapes, equations, and nonsense phrases written in a scratchy, disorganized hand. The scent of wood and chalk permeates the air, making you feel uneasy and tired.

Voice of the Rebel: *disbelieving laugh* Fuck my life, it's a classroom on shrooms.

The Guide: The professor's... voice floats up the many stairs. To call it a voice would be giving it too much credit---it is flat and emotionless, yet it still has an automated sense of cheer to it. It's... out of everything in this library, his voice is the most confusing and wrong.

The Professor: Hello. Class is now in session. Please take a seat.

Voice of the Rebel: Aight, I'm out.

Voice of the Researcher: Guide, why does he sound like a robot?

The Guide: I don't know! This isn't supposed to happen!

The Guide: Just... *tired sigh* You have the knife. And throughout the confusing labyrinth of stairs, you see that there are three possible pathways to take.

Explore:

(Take the hard, sharp, stone steps)

(Take the wood steps that lead to the labyrinth)

(Take the squishy, plush, soft steps)

Voting ended onJul 8, 2024

#slay the princess #slay the professor au #the shifting mound #the long quiet #stp princess #stp the razor #stp the narrator

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