sherlock starters ( season one episode two.)
“ the more a tea-pot is used, the more beautiful it becomes.”
“ four hundred years old. they’re letting you use it to make yourself a brew.”
“ some things aren’t supposed to sit behind a glass. they’re made to be touched.”
“ sometimes you have to look hard at something to see it’s value.”
“ i don’t suppose, um… i mean… i don’t suppose that you… you want to have a drink?”
“ you wouldn’t like me all that much.”
“ can i maybe decide that for myself?”
“ i can’t. i’m sorry. please stop asking.”
“ could you maybe keep your voice down?”
“ yes, all right! i’ve got it!”
“ yeah, i didn’t get the shopping.”
“ because i had a row in a shop with a chip and pin machine.”
“ you… you had a row with a machine?”
“ sort of. it sat there and i shouted abuse.”
“ you could always go yourself, you know? you’ve been sitting there all morning, you haven’t even moved since i left.”
“ i sent them a message.”
“ don’t worry about me, i can manage.”
“ what, and you couldn’t be bothered to get up?”
“ it’s password protected.”
“ took me less than a minute to guess yours. not exactly fort knox.”
“ you need to get a job.”
“ listen, um… if you’d be able to lend me some… are you listening?”
“ hiya buddy. how long has it been, __ years since i last clapped eyes on you?”
“ you need anything? coffee? water?”
“ right… you’re doing that thing.”
“ how could you tell? you’re gonna tell me there’s a stain on my tie from some special kind of ketchup you can only buy in manhattan. or it was the mud on my shoes.”
“ now, i’m glad you could make it over without a break-in.”
“ someone broke in late last night.”
“ well, that’s where this gets really interesting.”
“ find it, and we’ll pay you. five figures.”
“ i don’t need an incentive.”
“ you said that just to irritate him/her.”
“ so you think we should sniff around here for a bit longer?”
“ got all i need to know already, thanks.”
“ they’ll lead us to the person who sent it?”
“ so what do we do now? sit here and wait for him/her to come back?”
“ nobody ever does that.”
“ hi, um… i live in the flat just below you. i don’t think we’ve met.”
“ no, well i just moved in.”
“ actually, i… just locked my keys in my flat.”
“ yeah, and can i use your balcony?”
“ yeah, any time you feel like letting me in.”
“ thanks, i’ll take your word for it.”
“ i’m not desperate to root around some bloke’s dirty underwear.”
“ yeah, i know who you are. and i’d prefer it if you didn’t tamper with ___”
“ yes, it does seem the only explanation of all the facts.”
“ wrong, it’s one possible explanation of some other facts.”
“ you’ve got a solution that you like, but you’re choosing to ignore anything that you see that doesn’t comply with it.”
“ amazing you didn’t notice, all you had to do is look around this flat.”
“ good, you’re finally asking the right questions.”
“ he’s left trying to sort of cut his hair with a fork, which of course could never be done.”
“ it was a threat, that’s what the graffiti meant.”
“ i don’t think this can wait. sorry.”
“ lost five million a single morning, made it all back a week later.”
“ i hired you to do a job. don’t get sidetracked.”
“ you’re a bit overqualified.”
“ i said could you pass me a pen? about an hour ago.”
“ didn’t notice i’ve gone out, then.”
“ this ___ might move a bit quicker if you were to take my words as gospel.”
“ you are not serious… like spider-man?”
“ i need to ask some advice.”
“ you heard me perfectly, i’m not saying it again.”
“ i’ve got two minutes before a community support officer comes around that corner.”
“ can we do this while i’m working?”
“ what about the symbols, do you recognize them?”
“ not sure it’s a proper language.”
“ what, this is what you’ve got to go on?”
“ are you going to help me or not?”
“ no. no, wait, wait - it was not me who painted that, i was just holding this for…”
“ bit of an enthusiast, are we?”
“ yeah, well, you know how it is. custody sergeants don’t really like to be hurried, do they? just formalities. fingerprints. charge sheets, and i’ve got to be in magistrate’s court on tuesday.”
“ me, in court, on tuesday! they’re giving me an ASBO!.”
“ can you print me out a copy?”
“ what about the day s/he died, can you tell me where s/he was?”
“ your friend… he’s an arrogant sod.”
“ whatever you say, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
“ but why did they die? i mean, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“ remind me, when was the last time that it rained?”
“ do you leave your windows open when you go on holiday.”
“ do you think maybe you could let me in this time?”
“ can you not keep doing this, please?”
“ somebody’s been in here before me!”
“ i’m wasting my breath.”
“ any time you want to include me.”
[mockingly] “ no, i’m ___ and i always work alone because no-one else can compete with my MASSIVE INTELLECT!”
“ the, uh, milk’s gone off and the washing’s starting to smell. somebody left here in a hurry three days ago.”
“ you’ve gone all croaky. are you getting a cold?”
“ found something you’ll like.”
“ tuesday morning, all you’ve gotta do is turn up and say the bag was yours..”
“ forget about your court date.”
“ if you want to hide a tree, then a forest is the best place to do it, wouldn’t you say? people would just walk straight past, not knowing, unable to decipher the message..”
“ if we’re going to decipher this code, we’re gonna need to look for more evidence.”
“ answer your phone! i’ve been calling you! i’ve found it..”
“ i don’t understand. it-it was here … ten minutes ago. i saw it..”
“ somebody doesn’t want me to see it.”
“ hey, ___, what are you doing?”
“ shh, ___, concentrate. i need you to concentrate. close your eyes.”
“ no, what? why? why? what are you doing?!”
“ i need you to maximize your visual memory. try to picture what you saw. can you picture it?”
“ how much can you remember?”
“ because the average human memory on visual matters is only 62% accurate.”
“ yeah, well, don’t worry, i remember all of it.”
“ yeah, or at least i WOULD if i could get to my pockets! i took a photograph…”
“ fancy a biscuit with that?”
“ centuries old. don’t wanna break that.”
“ you’ve been clever to avoid him/her so far.”
“ who is s/he? have you met him/her before?”
“ careful! some of those skulls are over two hundred thousand years old, have a bit of respect!”
“ how many murders is it gonna take before you start believing that this maniac’s out there?”
“ what are you thinking? pork or the pasta?”
“ i’d stick with the pasta. don’t wanna be doing roast pork. not if you’re slicing up cadavers.”
“ don’t eat while i’m working. digesting slows me down.”
“ you’ve… changed your hair.”
“ no, it’s good. it, um, suits you better this way.”
“ do you mind if we have a look at them?”
“ we’re still no closer to finding them.”
“ wrong. we’ve got almost all we need to know.”
“ are we collecting for charity?”
“ anything else i can do? to assist you, i mean.”
“ some silence right now would be marvelous.”
“ i’m sorry to keep you waiting.”
“ what’s the point of making an appointment if they can’t even stick to it?”
“ i’m sorry, that’s not very professional.”
“ so, um. what were you doing to keep you up so late?”
“ i need to get some air. we’re going out tonight.”
“ actually, i’ve, er, got a date. it’s where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“ that’s what i was suggesting.”
“ oh, dull. boring. predictable. why don’t you try this?”
“ thanks, but i don’t come to you for dating advice.”
“ it’s years since anyone took me to the circus.”
“ a friend recommended it to me.”
“ you couldn’t let me have just one night off?”
“ i do have a couple of other things in mind this evening!”
“ you said circus. this is not a circus. look at the size of this crowd. this is… art.”
“ i’ve done everything you asked. ___, s/he seems to think your advice is worth something.”
“ please tell me i’ll have something to show for it. other than a massive bill for overtime.”
“ well, i think perhaps i should leave you to it.”
“ no, no, you don’t have to go. you can stay.”
“ yes, it would be better to study if you left now.”
“ is it just me or is anyone else starving?”
“ so this is what you do. you ___ for a living.”
“ what are these squiggles?”
“ oh, right! yeah, well, of course i should’ve known that!”
“ i’ve done punch and a bowel of nibbles.”
“ oh, we must’ve been staring right at it!”
“ um, shall we get a takeaway?”
“ forgive me if i do not take your word for it.”
“ yes, that’s not actually mine. s/he lent that to me.”
“ i realize what this looks like, but i’m not him/her.”
“ what? did i really say that?”
“ i s’ppose there’s no use in me trying to persuade you i was doing an impression.”
“ if i wanted to kill you, i would’ve done it by now.”
“ i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“ please. please, listen to me.”
“ i’m not… i’m not ___. you have to believe me.”
“ i haven’t found whatever it is you’re looking for.”
“ how would you describe me, ___? resourceful? dynamic? enigmatic?”
“ that’s a semi-automatic. if you fire it, the bullet will travel at over a thousand meters per second.”
“ if you miss, the bullet will ricochet. could hit anyone. might even bounce off the tunnel and hit you.”
“ it’s all right. you’re gonna be all right. it’s over, now. it’s over.”
“ i go where you point me.”
“ hang on; a hairpin worth nine million pounds?”
“ i will not reveal your identity.”