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@kibblesandbitch
I've been low to mid tempo sad all day and then 6'8" had to rain check because he has strep and tbh I got a huge wave of relief when he canceled but what am I gonna do with this huge fucking steak (I will cook it obviously)
But the good news is that I discovered the video of the two girls singing cheer competition mixes and that's providing me with like 0.81 dopamine
She got the idea for the study while walking with her advisor at Stanford to discuss her thesis topic, and the paper she eventually published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in 2014 is sharp enough that it should have ended the seated meeting on the day it came out.
She ran 4 experiments on 176 people. Same person tested twice. Once sitting, once walking. The creativity tasks were the standard ones psychologists have used for decades to measure how good a brain is at generating novel useful ideas.
81% of participants in the first experiment produced more creative ideas while walking than while sitting. In the second experiment, 88%. In the third, 100%. Every single person walked into a more creative version of themselves. On average, people generated 60% more novel useful ideas the moment their legs started moving.
The skeptical question is the obvious one. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was the scenery passing by. Maybe it was the change of environment doing the work, not the walking itself.
Oppezzo killed every one of those explanations with one experimental decision. She put people on a treadmill facing a blank wall. No scenery. No fresh air. No environmental change. Just legs moving in place while staring at white drywall. The 60% boost held.
Then she ran the experiment that closed the case completely. She took participants outside in two conditions. Half of them walked through a Stanford courtyard. The other half were pushed through the exact same courtyard in a wheelchair. Same outdoor stimulation. Same scenery passing at the same speed. The only difference was whether the legs were moving.
The walkers produced dramatically more novel high-quality ideas than the wheelchair group. The outdoors did almost nothing on its own. The walking did everything.
She also tested the opposite kind of thinking. Convergent thinking. The kind where there is one right answer and you have to narrow down to it. Word puzzles where 3 words share a hidden fourth word that connects them. The seated participants did slightly better on these. Walkers got slightly worse.
Walking is not a general intelligence enhancer. It does one specific thing. It opens up the divergent search inside your brain. The part that generates options. The part that produces unexpected connections. The part that takes a problem and finds five ways into it instead of one.
When you need to converge on the single right answer, sit down. When you need to find the answer in the first place, get up.
The mechanism is now well understood. Walking selectively activates what neuroscientists call the default mode network, the system inside your brain that runs when you are not consciously focused on anything. The DMN is where mind-wandering happens. Where memories cross-reference each other. Where ideas that have been sitting in separate folders inside your head finally bump into each other.
When you sit at a desk and force yourself to concentrate, you suppress the DMN. When you walk at a natural pace, the executive part of your brain gets just busy enough handling the walking that the DMN comes online and starts doing the work that focus was blocking.
The most useful finding in the entire paper is the one almost nobody quotes. The boost did not turn off the moment people stopped walking. Participants who walked first and then sat back down stayed elevated. Their next round of seated creativity work was still significantly better than people who had been sitting the whole time. The rest lingered for at least several minutes after the legs stopped moving.
You do not need to do creative work while walking. You need to walk before the creative work. The brain holds the state.
Edited down a long tweet. (x)
I thought we were good as gravy, but you just wanted to get your pey wet
My method for preparing a steak for an attractive man:
Buy a big, well marbled ribeye - 1.5 lbs is a nice amount for two large adults. Let it sit for an hour at room temp then pat down with a paper towel, salt and pepper generously, sear in a cast iron pan at medium high heat for idk, 8 minutes on either side. Set aside and tent with foil for 10 minutes. Slice it thin with a good sharp knife. If you're cooking at someone else's house, it's important to assume that the man you're cooking for has shitty knives that would just mangle the steak, so you should bring your own knife. It's even more important that, before serving it, you pick up a little fatty crusty piece of the cap with your fingers and feed it to the man you're cooking it for while carefully watching his facial expression, and that after feeding it to him you suck on your own fingers.
I like a potato side dish and a veggie side dish, everything served family style. There's something kind of primal and sexy about eating off the same plates as a lover. I like to do all the prep work ahead of time, really mise that place so that you're just kind of swanning effortlessly around the kitchen in not much more than an apron, swirling your glass of wine while the meat rests and the radicchio gets a quick sear and the man watches on, ravenous.
After not texting* at all since our date last Saturday night, 6'8" texted me yesterday morning to ask what my schedule is like for this weekend. We made plans for tomorrow evening. I'm gonna cook up a steak because 1. I'm a better cook when it's not just for me 2. I absolutely get some sort of gratification from cooking a delicious meal for a sexy man 3. he previously expressed enthusiasm when I told him about the steaks my dad grilled for father's day
I really need to get my fucking head straight and be more present and appreciate that this is fun and sexy and easy and that this may be the hottest man I have ever and will ever sleep with. Am I squandering it, still being hung up on another man? I'm angry at my own brain chemistry.
*the not texting is good. I told him that I like hanging out with him, and basically: that since he's so busy he can initiate our dates. And then he does! I don't feel any anxiety around it, but then again, sometimes anxiety feels like excitement.
I met the guy yesterday for a date and he was very easy to talk to! Very fun!
But good God this man is very short and has tiny hands. And there's probably many women who will bang him! He's a good time!
I think I need to start asking about height. I usually figure that if men don't preemptively apologize for being shorter that they're fine with me being taller, and usually them not being uncomfortable around me is the biggest requirement. But as I was recently told, there's only so much time in the week.
A lot of times when I think I'm being self-sufficient, I'm really just learning to live without the things I need
- Nothing To See Here, Kevin Wilson
There's a vintage 70s halter top pattern from vogue - the pdf pattern costs like $16 and it's literally two pieces:
I decided to just draw up something similar and came up with this
And the pattern calls for cutting out two pieces and sewing the center seam together but I was like, well, why don't I just cut out a single piece on a center fold?
voila! Trashy halter top, done.
It is so incredibly validating to actually casually date someone and be like, yes, this is what it's like when the other person isn't doing the absolute most to cultivate intimacy. The way that last man made me feel insane for thinking that we were forming an emotional connection!!!
Saw this sign as I was staggering out of hot pilates yesterday and as I paused to take a photo, another woman from the class walked by and laughed when she saw it
self-compassion: an antidote to shame mb
Oh!! As I was walking to my date I saw a letter on the ground. I'm not playing when I say that it's so horny and poetic that it makes me tear up.
"In the 12 years I did this time, I blocked the world out, and when they threw me in the hole for 4 years I learned to meditate to survive. I overcame the dark loneliness. I learned to forget all the things I missed so bad. The touch of a woman, and so on.
"I met you last night, and got to learn a little about you.
"And honey you have this awesome way about you that is so damn attractive. I could easily spend hours making you climax. You really turned on that part of me that's been gone so long.
"I'd never think of tighing [sic] you down or anything like that. But I'd love to have the chance to spend a time with you alone, and just pleasure each other. Don't know where or when such a thing could occur, but if you are down to make that happen let me know. And if you aren't feeling that, I'm a big boy. Either way, I had to tell you I'm really wanting to touch you. Sweet heat. You are so damn sexy.
"Sincerely Respectful
"Dillan"
I feel like not enough of yous got to see this
Refresher
Ket at the Cheesecake Factory date is on for tomorrow. And his name is Dillon. As in, Sincerely Respectful, Dillon, the same name as the erstwhile convict who wrote the letter I found on the sidewalk a few weeks ago.