Sleeping angel blogger

She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness…

[sleeping-angel1111]

Hi Angels!

Welcome to my blog! This is like my digital journal, maybe a bit less personal, but i love to share things and to keep myself from over sharing to random strangers irl I’ll hopefully stick to posting on my blog.

I’m 16 living in the UK, and I’ll probably be posting about my life, interests and random musings.

These are my favourites at the moment!!!

Movies:

Empire Strikes Back

But I’m a Cheerleader!

Spirited Away

D.E.B.S

Artists:

Fleetwood Mac

Stevie Nicks (as a separate entity from FM)

Hole

Mazzy Star

Songs (as of now):

Sisters of the moon - Fleetwood Mac

Sable on blond - Stevie Nicks

Taste of Blood - Mazzy Star

[sleeping-angel1111]

Wanting to be someone else

I often get really caught up in my head overthinking about how i could be different/ better than i am now. My biggest insecurity hasn’t really been my looks for a while now, and is more to do with how i hold myself in social situations and infront of people who have wronged me. (Wow I’m so mature)

Okay for example, this guy in my year at school called me names and harassed me basically for three years, and every time he did I wouldn’t say anything. But i still felt myself clawing at the sides of my brain trying to get out and tell him off or respond SOMEHOW. I felt powerless and completely weak against him and other assholes, and like if i cant protect myself how am i supposed to survive?

It’s hard for me (and probably a lot of girls??) to challenge the way people view me and not be meek and quiet to make room for those people that think you’re less than them.

This made me think i was just naturally quiet and introverted for ages, but like only months since leaving that school I’ve realised I actually love people, talking, and taking up room. People pleasing is just programmed so vigorously into my whole psyche that i can’t stop it just happening on autopilot, then hating myself for days because i know exactly what I could have said to that person, but i get so tongue tied.

Anyway the point is, I’m starting Sixth Form soon and I’m scared I’ll be the same girl I’ve always been and let people walk all over me. I hate it because I know I’m stronger than i seem but no one knows lol.

People always underestimate me and it’s actually hell.

Lots of love,

-Sleeping angel xoxo