Mr.BrightSide (JCxRacc angst) Part 1
WARNINGS! This may trigger some people-
Mentions of self harm, Depression, Thoughts of Suicide.
Please do not read if your sensitive to ANY of these topics
The rain was falling fast making the already dark sky darker. He wasnât expecting something like this to happen. He just wanted to help his friend out. And at first it went on like that two friends being friends, until âAlright so there is a guy whoâs being weird and keeps flirting with me even though Iâve told him Iâm not interested so can you help me please?â Ezra asked JC who was at first very confused by the request âUh sure how can I -â Ezra pulled JC closer to him and made sure the guy was looking even though the guy had been staring at him this whole time.
âAlright so maybe if we kiss heâll leave me alone.â Ezra said unsure but hoping it would work. JC was nervous about it heâd never think heâd kiss his best friend but if it was to help him heâd do it.
It at least to JC felt amazing like a new fire had been lit in his soul he felt more energetic and alive. He didnât know or at least realize he had a crush on his best friend. So the fire in his soul began to mix with a new emotion dread.
He told Ezra heâd be back he was just going to step outside to âsmoke" JC said the first thing he thought. "But you don't smoke" Ezra replied with an confused expression, "yeah-huh you've just not been paying attention" JC lied making it sound like he was joking then turning and leaving the area. "Wait a second were at the park, you can't smoke here." Ezra said to himself, he looked to where JC was running to and saw him disappear into the woods. Ezra looked at the air JC went into "He's going to get sick" he told himself as the rain began to pick up. He then got a message from JC 'You can leave without me I have to go to the store and pick up some stuff' 'You sure? I mean your in the woods right now, do you need help?' Ezra asked. 'Yeah all cool just enjoying this air' JC replied it sounded as awkward as if he had said it in person and not through text. Ezra replied with an 'Only if you know your going to be okay' 'Yes its all fine, I don't want you to get sick' JC texted back. 'I could say the same about you' Ezra replied sassy even though it was through text.
Ezra gave up trying to convince JC that he could go with him and help him if he needed it. So Ezra walked to his car then gave one final look to the wooded area.
JC had been sitting under one tree for the whole time he was texting Ezra using his jacket as a protector from the rain. He sat back against the tree and breathed out "Fuck" is all he said as he realized his new found crush on his best friend who already had a crush on someone else.
The wind began as the sun set and the rain was pouring down. JC hadn't left the tree he'd been sitting under he was completely soaked no doubt he'd get at least slightly sick as he's been there for at least 3 hours. To be honest he spaced out he didn't want to think about anything because it would lead to the same thing. His jeans kept pinching him and had all around become uncomfortable to wear.
He got up to mostly go home but he wasn't lying about having to go to the store. So he got up and walked back to his car and drove to the store it had been raining and he didn't really care how he looked. So he he just walked to the areas he knew he needed to get stuff from and bumped into Toby, Fitz and Swagger. The three looked at JC in slight confusion at why he looked like he just took a dip in the river and went to the store after words. He looked all sorts of odd, his hair had been tossed around from how he usually did it (from his hands going through it about a dozen times even though he didn't realize he was doing it) and his clothes had been wrinkled and he looker slightly worried and like he was being bothered by something. The three had never seen their friend this way, JC also had his jacket off (because of how wet and was useless at this point) reveling where trees had cut and scratched his arms when he walked out of the woods. After the initial shock JC felt awkward and began to walk away just wanting to go home but was stopped before he could do so. âJC you okay buddy you look uhâ âLike shitâ Eric said before Fitz could finish what he was trying to put nicely. JC smiled as a cover and just told half jokingly âI was out in the woods just thinking and spent to long and lost track of time, I only realized how long I was out there went I saw the sun go down.â He wasnât lying he just spoke with a confident but slightly weary smile, the three looked at each other in slight worry.
JC walked away from the group and began to look for some cereal and other breakfast items he could easily make. âJC wait! JC- sorry to continue bothering you, but are you sure your okay? Your arms look-â âPretty bad? I know those trees have surprisingly sharp branchesâ JC cut off half jokingly. âYeah, you look. Pretty badâ Toby said getting really worried for her friend. She asked to do a quick inspection on the tree cuts and scratches. They differently needed to be cleaned and bandaged up. So she took of her jacket and gave it to JC for a temporary cover so no one thinks he is doing self harm when itâs just trees with sharp branches. But then realized now that JC knows trees can have sharp branches if he wanted to- no no he can't be thinking like that.
Toby managed to convince JC to spill what was on his mind and he complied. Toby was in deep thought as she thought about everything. "Alright so the reason you spent so long in the woods was to not be around people but more so Ezra and just think about everything you'd just found out correct?" Toby asked to make sure she had everything thought out right. "correct" JC confirmed. Toby looked at the cart before asking if this was all he needed. "Uhh, I think?" JC said unsure, he thought to the mental list he'd made earlier not remembering anything else on it he gave a nod and they began to walk to the checkout. They'd met back up with Cam and Eric, they'd parked surprisingly close to each other it was very dark now and still very rainy while loading up the cars, "Do you need to stay somewhere to make sure your going to be okay? You've been very stressed lately and haven't been yourself that much. It seems like a miracle we even seen each other today." Toby asked JC, "JC thought about it either stay at home alone and take on the risk of your mind going into dark places and run the risk of hurting yourself again or go with them and if you start having *those* thoughts again go to Toby's or someone else's room. *"But if you go with them won't you feel like a bother to them? Be a nuisance to them? And then they will begin to hate you and kick you out. We wouldn't like that would you?" "So just stay at home by yourself and you won't bother anyone ever a-" . "JC are you okay? You look like your going to throw up, alright that's telling me enough your coming with us" Toby said in a motherly tone. JC tried to convince Toby to not make him stay the night with them not wanting to be a bother and all that but Toby gave him that look 'your mom gives you when she knows your lying' JC basically gave up after that while the other two watched in slight amusement.
Swagger went with JC to make sure JC didn't just drive off and leave them. Eric knew something was up but he didn't wanna push anything so he kept it to himself. They both joked around but at times when it was quiet Eric would look over to âJC and see his worried and slightly shaky expression. It worried him a lot. He'd never seen JC like this, JC was usually calm and relaxed, now he looked stressed, anxious and unbelievably tense. JC would glance over to Swagger every once in awhile until they got to the house, JC parked his car and turned it off, he sat back for a moment feeling like he could finally breath the whole time he was driving he felt like he was about to pass out from stress and being sleep deprived. He stared at the door light before he was snapped back to reality he was slightly sweaty despite being very cold.
He left his groceries in his car since it was mostly just cereal and pop-tarts. As âJC walked in the Misfits house he looked at the others like it was his first visit and stood awkwardly. Cam looked at JC in confusion, "You already know where everything is, but we will try and find you some clothes to change into." Cam told JC.
JC got some new drier clothes clothes to wear for tonight and tomorrow until he went back home. It was now 3 in the morning and JC had just been sitting on the couch deep in thought of who knows what. He was snapped out of it by a sudden light and voice "What are you doing up so late?" It was Swagger the short man woke up to grab something to drink and he found it odd that JC was still awake at this time. JC stared at Eric for a moment before he noticed his eyes felt like they were burning. He rubbed then and replied with a quiet mumble of "Couldn't sleep" Eric with a bottle of water in hand said "Man I'm worried about you, you don't have to tell me but if you want I'm all ears. Just try and go to sleep right now okay?" Eric stood there for a moment then walked back to his room.
JC thought about telling Eric he wasn't sure he did just tell Toby about how he was feeling and he didn't know if swagger is also as trust worthy and good at keeping secrets. To say the least he didn't sleep at all he walked around the house mostly and stared out the windows when he passed by one. Something in him felt empty and sad and slightly broken. He should of just said no when Toby first offered him staying the night at their house. He sighed quietly to himself and walked back to the couch to at least pretend he slept at least a little. When he heard the others come down the stairs he looked at them rubbing his eyes slightly "Yup they still burn" he thought to himself. The two Toby and Swagger entered the living-room and JC looked at the two with his full attention. "Oh geez, JC you look even worse then yesterday. Did you go to sleep at all?" Swagger asked voice full of worry. JC just nodded and said it was some of the worst he'd gotten.
He felt bad about lying to his friends the were only looking out for him. He just told them he was gonna go home and put up his groceries and try to get more sleep. He knew it was a bad idea for him to be driving on such a low amount of sleep but he just needed to be by himself. The two tried to convince him to stay but he left before they could change his mind. "I just need to get home and I'll be fine,right? That's how it works being alone will help, right?" JC talked to himself as he drove the short-ish distance to his house. He was happy he didn't fall asleep while driving. He made it home while the *thoughts* began to creep their way back in.
(cue Eternal Youth by RUDE Oof)
JC walked to his room and basically face planted onto his bed he didn't feel like much he had been stressed was this new feeling of dread adding to it? Making him feel worse or was his depression at a new high? Maybe he needed to be high did he need a break from everyone and everything? Or-
He looked to the tree cuts and scratches and something in him thought âThey wouldnât notice if you- cause if you did you could say you were in the woods again you just have to make it look like it was the trees. Itâll be fine. Everything his fine. Hey they wonât care! They never did to start with, and if they yell at you itâs all YOUR FAULT anywayâ the voice said to him he laid still as he could thinking about it before moving so he could breath easier.
He didnât want to but he did, he didnât want to but he did, he didnât want to but he did
âOh shit, whyâd I do that? Big mistake, big mistakes. I-I canât whyâd I-?â JC felt shameful at what he'd just done he couldn't go out or talk to anyone he felt like he'd just betrayed everyone at what he did. He stared at his arms in shock and in disappointment. He just did what anyone would and cleaned and bandaged them grabbing a hoodie and putting it on. He checked the weather it was supposed to storm all week. He stayed in all day that day not answer anything from anyone. He knew his friends were worried he didn't want them to worry or care but he couldn't stop them. If he tried it would only worry them more.
The next day is how he expected it to go, start out with a lot of calls and then they eventually just came to his house and asked why he didnât answer and if he was okay. âYeah I just slept most of the day and night I got really drained as soon as I stepped through the door.â JC said while he did sleep after that the sleep felt nightmare-ish and made him have a sickly feeling. He excused himself and went to the bathroom to try and hype himself up and think of more excuses. He sat on the ground of the bathroom feeling like he was about to throw up while the voice came back. âOh look at you, hiding in the bathroom to avoid everyone whoâs here.â JC just put his hands on his knees and rested his head on his arms which began to sting at the pressure. He then rolled his sleeves up and noticed he didnât close the door, and Swagger was standing there face stone and he walked slowly to JC and did a hand motion to let Jc now he wanted to see his arms. After a quick check Eric called for Toby and only Toby to come here. Toby walked to the bathroom and Eric told her what JC had done.
To JC it felt like to parents scolding their child. âYou shouldnât of let you go by yourself." Toby said as she put her hand on her face. JC felt awful and the other two noticed and basically stopped for a moment to ask what exactly made him do that. And he explained to them how the voice kept telling him to do it and how he felt like he was stuck on the kiss
Hello its Gri, yes if you requested anything I am working on it. This story part thing is inspired by the song 'Mr. Bright side by 'The Killers'
