Slitty Bang Bang

One min' I'm "your lancer", then what? Left in the dust with a boot. F'n TRAITOR. //21+Mun w male pronouns/NO MINORS/side blog of @BeastlyPersuasion// - Post!Immortan default - NSFW content - Multi Ship

[i-m-snek]

This is the money lizard, reblog and many moneys will come your way

[slitthelizardking]

I can’t ignore the money lizard.

[slittybangbangarchive]

beastlypersuasion:

slittybangbang:

+ ((21+ Mun)) + Post!Immortan Play + Tagged NSFW +Selective for Mun’s sanity One min’ I’m “your lancer”, then what? Left in the dust with a boot. F'n TRAITOR.

New Page for my Slit! Old blog has been archived!

MOVED!!!

[emolumentsclause-deactivated201]

AUs for when your OTP are both assholes

[slittybangbangarchive]

jonahryan:

You drive a massive SUV and steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU

I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU

I’m a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU

We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU

I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU

I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU

I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU

You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU

Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU

[chaso1080]

[prettiestcaptain]

[slittybangbangarchive]

prettiestcaptain:

look at this fanatical lizard

[slittybangbangarchive]

"SLIT. SLIT. I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHAT LEFT THIS SCORPION IN MY BOOT." Nux wove the creature in question at him accusingly. His expression, though, immediately softened, touched, and he bit off one of it's snapping pincers before ripping off the other to offer out to him to share in gratitude. "Thank you, Brother!"

Slit crossed his arms and rocked back on his heels. Figured Nux couldn’t be casual about it. “Didn’t either!” 

[blatterburystreet]

I tried to make a serious Nuxable. But then I remembered a conversation with serluxfero and…..well I think Nux’s starting to imagine the Suxable. 

[slittybangbangarchive]

“I don’t like dingo meat.” Slit sniffs, working stubbornly at a stripped screw. He liked cheese- and those little pea things Capable got sometimes. “Aint gonna eat it.”

[terminalxcrazy-deactivated20230]

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow. “You ever take care of another living being?”

[slittybangbangarchive]

“Uh, ‘sides pups?” Slit’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. What else was there? Lizards? “Nah.”

[terminalxcrazy-deactivated20230]

“Hrm.” Well. Pups and pups weren’t all that different at first. “You can’t get angry at it, you know that? Dog isn’t like a person. Do a lot of stuff, don’t know any better.”

[slittybangbangarchive]

"Pups bite n shit all over th' place," Slit grunted, shaking the loose screw free and swiping out the remaining rust, "I aint punted any yet."

[terminalxcrazy-deactivated20230]

slittybangbang:

“I don’t like dingo meat.” Slit sniffs, working stubbornly at a stripped screw. He liked cheese- and those little pea things Capable got sometimes. “Aint gonna eat it.”

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow. “You ever take care of another living being?”

[slittybangbangarchive]

"Uh, 'sides pups?" Slit's shoulders lifted in a shrug. What else was there? Lizards? "Nah."

[slittybangbangarchive]

terminalxcrazy & capablequeen

YEA BUT

Capable saying she has somebody who’d take one of the puppies and won’t eat it and it turns out it’s SLIT

and like hell you’re gonna take Slit’s puppy away once it’s been given to him. You don’t take a war boy’s stuff period.

[terminalxcrazy-deactivated20230]

((See you’re going to have to present a very compelling case, because Max isn’t handing over any puppies to anyone he doesn’t know and he’s already said Nux isn’t getting one.

Well…me and Nuxmun agreed that Nux probably shouldn’t have one and he can share Capable’s.

First question: are you going to at any point eat the dog. If the answer is “yes” or “maybe” you’re out, and also back on Max’s shit list.))

[slittybangbangarchive]

"I don't like dingo meat." Slit sniffs, working stubbornly at a stripped screw. He liked cheese- and those little pea things Capable got sometimes. "Aint gonna eat it."

[slittybangbangarchive]

terminalxcrazy & capablequeen YEA BUT Capable saying she has somebody who'd take one of the puppies and won't eat it and it turns out it's SLIT and like hell you're gonna take Slit's puppy away once it's been given to him. You don't take a war boy's stuff period.

[slittybangbangarchive]

❤♀ ツ [molotovandmortar] HAVE YOUR PICK pfffff

He Is So Intimidated It's Hilarious (also it would piss off Morsov to the highest degree- which is technically a bonus).

[anotherrpmemeblog]

Would you ship our muses?

Send ❤ if you would ship our muses romantically. Send ♀ if you would ship our muses sexually. Send ツ if you would ship our muses platonically. Send ♠ if you would ship our muses as enemies.

[askslit]

how gay are u for nux

He was talkin’ the talk, had to make sure he could walk the walk… or, y’know, drive the… extra mile… ah, fuck it.

[rodents-and-lies]

[slittybangbang] ☼

@slittybangbang ((STILL CAN’T TAG YOU OKAY BYE))

send me ☼ and i’ll bold all those that apply to your muse:

I would hurt you if the opportunity presented itself | I never want to see you again | I’m jealous of you | I find you attractive | I find you REALLY attractive | I crave your approval | I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your approval | I enjoy your company | I want us to have a future together | I wish we were dating | I wish we’d never met | I’ve thought about you while masturbating | I would fuck you | I’m using you | I love you | I’d take a bullet for you | I’ve been dishonest with you | I wish you’d leave me alone | I’d do anything you asked of me |

[officialbabayaga]

i am a serious fan who makes serious gifs of serious source material

[fthgurdy]

indiasierrabravo: #i was gonna do something useful today but instead i’m staring at that weird lizard dominance shuffle in the first gif#nux seems so chill tho#like look we both know i’m the boss but i know you wanna look tough so go ahead#i’ll let you tire yourself out till you agree#good little lizard lancer#nux’s head is really shiny

I still love that people are pointing out how hard Slit is working here because I didn’t notice it at first, but it’s totally true. 

[icarus-suraki]

But, still, Nux won’t break eye-contact because I betcha Slit fights dirty. I mean, sure, he’s the boss and the knows he’s the boss, but that doesn’t mean letting down your guard. Watch that dude.

(Also, the lizard dominance shuffle kind of makes my gut clench because I’ve seen guys do that shuffle in real life, I have had guys get aggressive at me and do that same shuffle, and the minute I see it the fight side of the fight-or-flight response just revs up.)

[fthgurdy]

That eye contact’s probably a lot more effective than it might seem, remember how Slit was avoiding looking at Nux the whole time as he marched past him. Twice. A lot of that bravado probably relied on not having Nux protest :P

[slittybangbangarchive]

Slit is a good three/four years older than Nux. He was never a real good driver though, and he’s always been a little sore that it took him three years to get a shot at a freed up driver’s wheel and Nux-the-freshly-named-boy thrashed him bloody to get it for himself.  On the flip side, it was a really satisfying fight and they were pretty much immediate friends/teammates from that point on. Slit was always Nux’s first pick for his lancer, to the point that nobody bothered asking for that spot after a while, and Slit only challenged him for the wheel maybe seven or so times a year.