zim

666 with a princess streak┊they/she ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧

[slutif4iri]

when ur mom tells you to kill urself, even tho you’ve genuinely been trying to stay alive for the last few weeks

[xbeckittyx]

[slutif4iri]

i’m trying really hard not to split. i love you! i know i do… you’re one of my best friends. but lately it seems like i am on the back burner. it’s been a rough couple of weeks, and i know it has been for you too! actually, i think it’s been the hardest couple of weeks of my life. actively trying not to kill myself , actively trying not to cut, actively trying not to cry. and i don’t want to burden anyone with my problems, which is why i post them on here to begin with. but all i can think of are your flaws and how sometimes you can be one of the worst people i have ever met but it’s not all about me. you don’t have to be there for me. it feels like you are deliberately avoiding me, and i know you feel it too. you feel the distant i know you do but i wont submit. i will not cave first i always cave first i always reach out first i always move first i always grab first i always cave fist i always cave first i always cave first i always cave first i always cave first i always cave first and you know that i know there is a weird subliminal dominance competition you have with me. always going out fo your way to make me feel insignificant and you do it so subtly that it makes me feel crazy you’re making me feel crazy i cant comprehend whats real and what isnt anymore and you’re part of the problem. im actively trying not to kill myself i always cave first i cant breathe i just want to cut i cant seem to get control of my emotions and i cant seem to find the will to live. but sure, ignore me. i wont cave first i wont cave first i wont cave first i. will. not. cave. first.

i stop texting first, and we stop talking all together. i want to cry, i want to cut, i want to kill myself. it’s a realization i have been feeling since i was a child and it seems to have never gone away. i thought you understood, you said you understood. why do i hate you now? why did you leave me? you said you would never leave me.. i thought we would be friends forever. why is everyone else more interesting than me? what do they have that i don’t? if they weren’t alive, would you still leave me? i have a headache i want my head to explode i need relief and im so hungry. nothing i do will ever be good enough ,,, for anyone.

you stayed friends with those who betrayed me. i will not cave first. i will not cave first. i dont want to live. i cant seem to get a grip on my emotions. i will not cave first.

[slutif4iri]

my sister said, “you never want to do anything”. i guess i did lose motivation to do most things. most basic things take a lot of toll on my body. i don’t care about most things emotionally, because im too busy stopping myself from crying and shutting down. i’ve tried to distract myself by posting gameplay and being distracted with that, but it doesn’t come from a place of joy, of desire. it’s really hard to explain why i don’t want to do anything without the response being not wanting to even exist. how can i have desire to do absolutely anything when i don’t even have the desire to breathe. i’m constantly thinking of different ways i want to die. different ways to give up. i am envious of my alternate realities. Envious of their suicide succeeded and i’m too much of a coward to attempt, but i think about it constantly. i can hear them talking about me, they aren’t subtle but i know it’s deliberate. they want me to hear how low they think of me. they want me to understand that they think of me the same way i think of me and i truly do not blame them. i can’t stop thinking about cutting. i can’t stop wanting to die. i don’t know what’s stopping me. i don’t understand how i haven’t commit. i do not think that i deserve to live. i do not understand how such a simple task of taking my own life feels so much like a chore. i do not understand how the simple task of breathing, of existing, feels so much like a chore.

[terrorignitis]

Juansen Dizon, i am the architect of my own destruction

[slutif4iri]

my cat’s name is Bones

how do i explain to my cat that sometimes i feel like i need space and distance and dont want to be touched and caring is too hard and i just want to cry and stare at the wall until my tears dry and then cry again but alone with no one around so i’m comfortable enough to be in a headspace where i can freely be absolutely disgusted with everything that i am or am to be but he’s staring at me like he needs me and wants attention and needs to be loved needs to feel loved and i cant care enough to give that to him but i need him i need him i need him i need him i need him bc i cant keep losing people losing things and some people need to be lost and im angry im so angry because my reaction to disrespect is more hurtful than ur disrespect but fuck you for disrespecting me but i also can’t bother to sit here and confront anyone about why i feel they fucked me first because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter nothing matters i never mattered and he looks at me thinking i matter because without me he won’t exist and i stare at him as he stares at me and i can see the hurt and humiliation in his eyes as i meet his gaze of desperation and he starts kneading me on my stomach one of my biggest insecurities and he doesn’t know how is he supposed to know and i stare off to the wall and cry and cry and let my tears dry and cry again until eventually i just dissociate as tears are drying my skin feels tight and all i can think about is cutting and masturbating and cutting and masturbating and cutting and masturbating and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting but i don’t i won’t because my cat is here my cat is staring and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting until i can physically start to feel the slow decline of my heart beat and how hard breathing becomes and how torn and raw my flesh would feel and watching my wounds bleed and just crying and staring and bleeding and aching and in pain but i made this pain this is pain i can make and only i can make myself feel this specific kind of pain and i just stare at my arm imagining my feelings, imagine the wounds, imagine how happy i would feel to see me in pain happy? happy? happy? happy? happy? relieved — relieved i won’t be around much longer to need to care to feel i don’t want to feel but my cat is here

[morxwar]

[lapanemona]

Little Goth Nursery

DOWNLOAD at ModCO

Early Access until: Feb 26, 2025

[mothercain]

i find it funny that conservatives try to paint me calling for the death and destruction of multi-billionaire CEOs as some radical "woke liberal" standpoint. as if that even has anything to do with politics, especially in this era of surface level circus politics. the same way they try to politicize the hurricanes or the wildfires destroying parts of america, as if climate change is somehow a red vs. blue issue. it's no secret i'm from a deeply conservative family in the sticks of florida and i still grew up hearing "i fought the law and the law won". the healthcare system has fucked each and every member of my family in a different way at one point or another, as is the case with pretty much every family in this scorched earth nation. remember when country music, the genre currently associated the heaviest with the most conservative faction of america, used to be staunchly anti-government and about sticking it to the man? remember when the coal miners, grandfathers to the "trump-er hillbillies" of appalachia that everyone loves to write off as ignorant, fought tooth and nail for unionization because the companies that were built off their labor didn't give a shit if they lived or died? since when has "upholding traditional values" gone hand in hand with... defending lawmakers and oil tycoons. my family and i complain about the same issues at the dinner table. the men in charge better hope they can keep their digital smokescreens running as long as they can because the moment the rednecks and the hippies lay down their swords long enough to realize they have the same enemy, all hell is gonna break loose.

[daily-spooky]

[sizzlingcandyjellyfishhhhhh]

apparently everyone is sick of my shit and they’re going to kill me tomorrow. idk it’s just what I heard

[catchymemes]

[saycheeseandsmile]

[devils-queen]

✞ 666 ✞

[slutif4iri]

there is nothing on this earth that can convince me i am good enough. all i do is bring misery to my loved ones and i dont even know why. whats wrong with me? there is so much going on and i dont know what to do or what exactly is happening. i dont bring joy or happiness to anyone. my family hates me. i know they do. they hate me with such passion and you want to know what? i don’t really blame them. im a constant disaster. they would live their lives so much better without me. would they be sad if i killed myself? yes. but that will pass. their grief would surpass and eventually they will realize how better off life is… without me in it. they deserve so much better than i ever was. they deserve to live the life they wanted , the life they dreamed and i genuinely believe i was never in the picture. i shouldn’t have been in the picture to begin with. i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve anything.

i genuinely don’t think i’m important. i could disappear from this earth and honestly? i think people would be better off. my mental health has just gotten worse and i don’t want to live in my head anymore. it’s so exhausting. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so tired. i’m so fucking tired. and every motivation i have to try and better myself fizzles out in such a short time. i can’t tell what’s real and what’s in my head. and i just genuinely so fucking tired. i sound like a broken record but i just can’t live like this. i don’t want to live like this. i don’t want to live at all.

[littlewickedthings]

Sveta Shubina

[thugyisback-deactivated20251224]

yeah nice panties, take it off