☁️ @smallollie - Tumblr Blog

hello ♡ my name is ollie ! she / her, 24

✧ tw ed, sui............ i struggle with disordered eating and have made two suicide attempts.... i often talk about these things here... i do my best to stay positive though ... !

✧ dm or ask me anything anytime ♡

✧ my stats below !

#ollie.txt

ive been at this way too long... no more excuses. i can reasonably reach my ugw by the fall if i lock in. so !! i am strategizing !! the most likely way to make it happen is to have fun !! i have to fight the despair and self hatred and instead choose to dance and smile and laugh and be positive and do things i love all throughout... or else i will associate restricting and exercising with misery and desperation again, and eventually i will burn out and abandon it and then gain weight again... i cant stay in this cycle. i cant.

SO ! here is a list of things i love, that i will focus on from now on.

workouts : pilates, yoga, volleyball, stationary bike, hiking, weighted squats

foods : juice, apples, hard cheese, crackers, veggies, salads, yogurts with granola & fruit, berries and cottage cheese, rice & egg dishes, chicken & pasta salad, healthy cereals, toast with jam, applesauce

activities : reading (!!), vidya, playing with my dogs, walking, swimming, visiting with family and friends, little sewing and painting projects, trying new hairstyles and makeup

looks : curled hair, square necks, dresses, long skirts, culottes, mismatched dangly earrings, hair clips and pins and sticks, lots of blush and highlighter with minimal eye makeup

attitude : kindness always, calmness, love for everyone and everything, compassion and caring, thoughtfulness, wittiness and playfulness. turn offbeatness / weirdness into charm rather than awkwardness by being earnest and authentic at all times !! no more shame and hiding

#ollie.txt

unpetalled

all i want is to be pretty and small and safe and for the thoughts in my head to be quiet

herewego-againn

My favorite not binging technique;

"I can have it if I still want it tomorrow", then going to bed. Most the time I don't continue wanting it, orrr I can plan it into my calories for the day 🤷‍♀️

cottagegirls

i want to be soft and small and have no worries or responsibilities

exhaustedborderline

weltenwellen

Ocean Vuong, from “Dear Peter”, Time Is a Mother

mud-milk

imagine being beautiful and lovable, couldnt be me

bozbulanikk

I wish i was skinny just to feel more feminine and pretty. Small enough for people to be gentle with me. For once i want to be treated kindly and not like a disgusting f@t p1g