ive been at this way too long... no more excuses. i can reasonably reach my ugw by the fall if i lock in. so !! i am strategizing !! the most likely way to make it happen is to have fun !! i have to fight the despair and self hatred and instead choose to dance and smile and laugh and be positive and do things i love all throughout... or else i will associate restricting and exercising with misery and desperation again, and eventually i will burn out and abandon it and then gain weight again... i cant stay in this cycle. i cant.
SO ! here is a list of things i love, that i will focus on from now on.
workouts : pilates, yoga, volleyball, stationary bike, hiking, weighted squats
foods : juice, apples, hard cheese, crackers, veggies, salads, yogurts with granola & fruit, berries and cottage cheese, rice & egg dishes, chicken & pasta salad, healthy cereals, toast with jam, applesauce
activities : reading (!!), vidya, playing with my dogs, walking, swimming, visiting with family and friends, little sewing and painting projects, trying new hairstyles and makeup
looks : curled hair, square necks, dresses, long skirts, culottes, mismatched dangly earrings, hair clips and pins and sticks, lots of blush and highlighter with minimal eye makeup
attitude : kindness always, calmness, love for everyone and everything, compassion and caring, thoughtfulness, wittiness and playfulness. turn offbeatness / weirdness into charm rather than awkwardness by being earnest and authentic at all times !! no more shame and hiding