Careful shoppers, reckless daters + TC TYPES
Today we live in a society always looking to upgrade. We want to drive the Mercedes with the price tag of a Honda Civic. We don't settle. We're patient, practical, and savvy. We walk by hundreds of gorgeous window displays, showcasing luxurious fabrics and fashionable designs. We stop and ask ourselves: Do I need this? Does this fit into my life? Is it worth the price? Is it well made? Is it authentic? Does it suit me? Is it comfortable? Would I be okay wearing it in public?
These are the questions we should be asking ourselves before purchasing a man. Instead, we mold ourselves to them. Isn't it crazy? When a dress doesn't fit, we get a different size. Hell, sometimes we get a different dress altogether! Or we decide we never wanted a dress anyways; we wanted a skirt. Or slacks. Where is that logic when we're dating? Why do we treat a potential mate like he's the only one left in the world?
We've lost our minds. We've removed our brains from the equation, and instead we've found solace in expressions like "don't give up on someone you care about" and "try again if at first you don't succeed". Ladies, take a step back. When a pair of shoes doesn't fit, would you keep jamming your feet into them expecting the shoes to change? No. Because, quite honestly, the shoes will remain the same. They don't change. Even if you stretch them and push them, they will snap back and stay that same pair of ill-fitting shoes.
So why do we keep chasing the wrong guys?
Are we addicted to the push-and-pull? Is it self-preservation? Do we chose the wrong guy -the complicated guy- because deep down we aren't ready for a real relationship?
It's easy to date a fantasy. You can stay home in your pjs with unshaven legs watching Netflix with a box of ice cream sandwiches. You can obsess about him: What it would be like to kiss him, to date him, to marry him, to be his priority... Reality is so much less exciting then these daydreams. No mythical guy can ever amount to the real thing.
We protect our hearts this way. Because even though we stay awake all night wondering why he won't love us, in our illogical subconscious, we cling to the reassurance that there's still a chance he will. We hang onto our fantasies like a worn-out favourite t-shirt we just can't part with. In truth, it probably has holes and doesn't quite fit the way it used to, but in our minds it's as perfect as the first time we saw it and decided we just had to have it.
Our society produces films where the "picky" girls are alone. They end up settling for the goofy guy, or their best friend with whom they had no chemistry yet one day wake up to find perfect... These damaging messages are given to us and we start to believe them.
They're wrong. I would rather save all my money and wait for the Louboutins even if it takes a lifetime then settle for a pair of Crocs because I'm already in Walmart and it just seems so much more convenient. No. We have to live outside of our fantasies, but we can't let go of our dreams. Keep your standards! But apply them to realistic candidates.
You wouldn't try to purchase a dress that a woman is paying for, would you? No. So no married men.
Would you buy a bright orange skirt for a black and white gala? No. So if a man says he's not interested, he's not. You're the wrong colour for his party. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with orange. It means you just need to be orange with someone else.
You set out to buy a pair of strappy white sandals with a cork-wedge heel. You get to the store and see a pair of red pumps. They're lovely. Do you change your mind when faced with the allure of those shoes? No. You have the sandals in mind because they fit with your life. Don't convince yourself that you can make it work. You can't. Hold out for the sandals. Don't buy the pumps because you're too impatient to wait for what you really want.
Would you walk into the Prada store if your budget is more Forever 21? Absolutely not. You just wouldn't, logically, torture yourself. Teachers, unfortunately, fall into this category. They're out of your league, almost impossible. You're not on their level. It is VERY rare that you'll succeed. Be realistic. How often does Prada have a sale? Your timing has to be impeccable. The merchandise is limited. You have to be smarter than all the other shoppers. Can you handle that? Can you walk out empty-handed without falling apart?
A little tough reality since today is Monday. Remember that of course we all love hearing the success stories but those are the exceptions. The reality is that it is unlikely that any of our fantasies will ever leave the classroom.
However, some of us get off on attaining the impossible (myself included), so for us, here is a list of TC types and I will be expanding upon the five most popular types chosen by all of you.
1) The Starving Artist - doesn't like rules, down to earth, backpacking through Europe is his ideal vacation, may or may not have a large scarf collection, enjoys brooding in solitude, doesn't share his work with many people, slightly insecure, and may or may not smoke funny things in his spare time.
2) The Pretentious Artist - intellectual, thinks he's more talented than he probably is, critical of the work of others in his field, can come across as arrogant, easy to flatter, and dresses artsy yet trendy at the same time.
3) The Geek - smart like the nerdy types but oriented towards technology, always uses powerpoints in class, or youtube videos, may be a retired hacker, the type to go home and play video games, and usually behaves like an overgrown child who still feels socially inept 90% of the time.
4) "Before I was a teacher I was a" - indecisive, depending on the reason for his career shift could be bitter, both extremes (either hates what he teaches or loves it), easy to talk to, may not have much knowledge of practicing professional boundaries.
5) The Newlywed/long time girlfriend guy who still flirts - he talks about her. A lot. Could be doubting himself, wants to prove he still "has it", has a hard time making up his mind, suggestive in what he says but careful around crowds.
6) The New Guy - follows the rules. Careful, could even be paranoid, about protecting his job and not crossing the line. Thoughtful and dedicated as a teacher, aloof as a "friend". Has not been teaching very long or just switched schools. Not easy to get.
7) The rule breaker...who got caught - was either married (now divorced) to a much younger woman/ex-student or was involved with a student/ex-student in the past, EXTREMELY cautious, almost paranoid, his behaviour and what he says doesn't match, will flirt but stop things, cycle of push and pull.
8) The George Clooney - always needs a woman in his life, not prepared to commit, probably flirts with more than just one students but gives preference to you, extremely good looking, secure, confident, authoritative when he needs to be, probably an easy grader for cute girls.
So those are the 8 I thought of today. You can "vote" for your favourite five by sending me a message or you can send me a message with a brief description of your TC and I can try to place him or research his type for you. If there's a demand for the type you suggest, I will post it, if not I will respond privately to you.
