Why What You Do Actually Matters
We all have issues. All of us. Whether weād like to admit it or not. Even the most peaceful and mindful among us. Our issues are probably the reason we became so peaceful in the first place. One does not just start to yearn for peace out of nowhere.
Iāve had, and still have, a fair share of issues myself, which is great, because they always keep me working on bettering myself, one issue at a time.
Yesterday, Iāve been thinking about where these issues originate from. And Iāve concluded that most of them originate from other people. We develop most of our issues during childhood. Because of our parentsā influence at first, then in school. The most scarring experiences Iāve had all happened to me during my childhood. I think most of us are like that, since no one is as vulnerable to the world as a child.
So, I got to thinking: What if we didnāt hurt each other? What if parents didnāt scar their children? What if kids didnāt bully each other? What if we werenāt the causes of each othersā scars?
Not hurting anyone, ever, is, of course, inevitable, since we can hurt someone even if we have the best intentions, like during a breakup. What Iām talking about is what if we could all deal with our emotions and not hurt each other as a consequence of not being able to deal with ourselves.
Parents scar their children because they are scarred themselves. I havenāt seen my father since I was twelve. I donāt know anything about him besides the fact that he has new daughters now, which I found out coincidentally. I doubt he knows anything about me. I think he wishes to forget.
This is not something a responsible, stable person, who can handle himself, does. He was abandoned as well as a child, he has a bunch of scars he couldnāt deal with. He couldnāt deal with himself, he couldnāt deal with life. He couldnāt deal with his children. And if I wasnāt able to deal with myself, I would be a person who hurts myself and those around meājust like him, continuing this cycle of pain. But I was able to break this cycle, and Iām pretty proud of that.
We canāt blame people for ruining our lives. We have to stand up and rise above our past. Because no oneās actions have the power to define us. Only we decide who we want to be.
āHurt people hurt people.ā Quite a frequently used phrase. I think itās true, and I agree wholeheartedly. But what if we stopped this cycle and there were no more hurt people to hurt? Itās interesting to muse. Read more>>
Ā (via Why What You Do Actually Matters | The Miracle Forest: The Zen Smile of Mindfulness)
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