Goose @smelborp-the-great - Tumblr Blog

I had a dream last night that tumblr came up with a pride flag for closeted gays and it was just a light blue flag with a shrimp on it. People would also wear shrimp pins on their lapels for some Reason???

and the vegan gays started Discourse because shrimp deserved more respect

decentmonster

Wth that's brilliant

gay-vampire-with-a-violin

like this?

closeted queers, you now have a discreet pride flag. wreak havoc.

decentmonster

EXACTLY LIKE THAT

catasters

mmmskulljuice

roast beast is a feast i can’t stand in the least

maykitz

my mother observing birds using the bird feeders she put up for them:

maykitz

intensional

christi found bald :/

onceiwashere

No woman will ever want to fuck you

dude i’m a world of warcraft blog. you think this is news?

thyrell

pickledangel

Ball pit but it's just these

never-forget-viva-la-pluto

I dive in headfirst, cutting through like butter. I am never seen again.

toxictiktoks

fatsexybitch

Stabbys great grand pappy, Slashy

nickelwounds

highlighting @werewolf-boi 's threatening tags

randomencounters

Encounter: security sentries outside the lair of a particularly unhinged villain

tenporcupines

eroscestlavie

tom hiddleston crisp embarssment

eroscestlavie

BRUTAL assessment from the press

nqsa

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

mooncustafer

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

skeleton-richard

spacegay-yx

freshdonuts

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

fluffygif

Luckily there was a quack in the ice

wzzd7

nullifiedneet

my boy ratatouille livin the good life im happy for him

ubercream

thefighter2-deactivated20200212

sighingballoon

#luigi after developing amnesia being interrogated by toads

sweatervesto

i had an idea

ricc-ii-deactivated20201015

shit man i wasn’t expecting this to hit as hard as it did.

123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202

why is peach smiling

chivalrouswooly

Why else? She’s the one responsible for giving him amnesia.

demenshah

Hey guys, good post, quick question: what the heck

red-gay-tree

Oh, so THIS is the first part of that comic

exxay

Wait, what comic

abysswarlock

This one

maple-cloak

This post hit me with “wait what the fuck” three times over now

joop-bird-art

Same

But I love it

renemesis

Fuck zodiac signs what's the first (non- spinoff) pokemon game you remember ever playing and what starter did you choose

smelborp-the-great

I have never played pokemon 😔

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

recently learned about a horticultural technique called Espalier, it’s the funniest goddamn thing i’ve ever seen.

Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!

Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:

And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:

(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)

Espalier is actually a very useful technique for

increasing fruit yield

gardening is small spaces

maximizing or minimizing sunlight (since the branches all face the same direction) and therefore extending the growing season

Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!

But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.

Espalier!

love-in-the-time-of-waffles

i showed this to my cousin and she said “just cause it’s flat doesn’t mean it’s 2d” and, with a completely straight face, said “it’s tree-d” anyway im crying

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

please tell your cousin she made the author of this post cry

axalion

I was raised Jewish and I just married a man who was raised Christian. We just did our first Christmas tree, and this made me want to make a Christmas tree /menorah hybrid where each night of Chanukkah you put a Christas tree topper on the next branch!

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

you’re not the first person to compare these trees to menorahs, but i like your idea best. a tree cultivated into and used as a menorah, complete with candles, would be a fascinating option from people with both jewish and christian backgrounds. the only image I could find online was this, but it would be so neat if it could be done on a miniature level, like with bonsai trees:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Yo, people with acne

These are hydrocolloid bandages. They work wonders at pulling fluid through skin and absorbing all that gunk.

You can cut them down to size, wear them on your face at night, and in the morning you’ll see a noticeable difference plus the bandage visibly absorbs the goo and it’s gross but weirdly satisfying.

They’re cheaper than most acne products, they work, and 1 pack lasts for ages. They’re sold in the band-aid section of most pharmacies; try them if you can.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

CVS pay me