Smile through it dear!(:

Hey doll,I'm Marie! California Girls~ We're Unforgettable!(;

[catharinethegreat]

[love-and-socialism]

[peachspicy]

[tumblrsloth]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

[caffeinepostcards-blog]

[reignfanatics]

Reign Merchandise: http://amzn.to/2aguEAL

[oscar-piastri]

♪ Follow the signs right back to you, back to you, back to you. I know they wind right back to you, back to you, back to you. I trust the signs so I may find my way to you, back to you, back to you ♪

[stephenstilwell-deactivated2021]

There wouldn’t be flowers without the rain. You will bloom.

s.s. (stephenstilwell)

[mai-thai-adventure]

Breaking Up With Wanderlust

I have been in Thailand for two months now. It seems like a year has gone by. Maybe its because I am functioning on two time zones.

I haven’t posted for a while because I have struggled to articulate my emotions. Some of this is due to all the newness and unfamiliarity. However, I have also experienced a great deal of painful and depressing emotions I did not want to express. I was fearfull that in doing so, I would come across as ungrateful for the experience I have been offered. But the truth is each day is filled with frustrations, doubts, and sorrows as I try to find myself amidst a culture very unfamiliar to me.

Another reason I have not spoken of my struggles is because I feel embarrassed. I doubt that people want to hear me moan and complain, when in their eyes I am living the dream. To make things worse I see my fellow teachers finding the silver-lining in their circumstances and some even falling in love with Thailand. And it makes me sad because despite the fact that I have been given a good placement and have all of my basic physical needs met all I can think of is home.

I have mulled over these thoughts trying to understand why I feel so empty. Why I’m not elated and enchanted by this foreign land. Why my expectations are falling so short of my reality. Why daily life is so challenging. Why I can sit on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and feel nothing.

It was wanderlust that drew me to travel halfway around the world seeking new experiences. The problem is, in order to sustain a sense of wanderlust one must continue to wander and travel. Although I am living in a foreign country I am not as free to wander as I had hoped. I must deal with the details of everyday life in Thailand. I don’t get to just observe and move on as a traveler might. I must live and work within a system very foreign to me. I am beginning to realize I am not so much a traveler but a resident.  Meaning  I can not just run off to the next destination when things get rough.

I think many of my personal disappointments lie in the fact that while wanderlust calls to me its not as sustainable here as I had hoped. I get to travel and explore this beautiful country on my holidays and weekends, but it changes things when you live here. The oceans are still beautiful and the mountains still magnificent, but at the end of my the day I don’t get to go home.

This is why I am choosing to break up with the idea of Wanderlust, at least as a way of life. It sets too high of expectations for the ins and outs of everyday life. I will no longer lie and say that I am consistently excited and happy to be here. Some days I am so frustrated with my students I want to scream, and other days I miss home so terribly I stay in my room all day and cry. When you feel the need for everyday to be an adventure it makes it harder to cope with the harsh realities of everyday life.

Travel is exciting and mesmerizing and can fills me with a sense of awe and wander, but at some point I have to come down off my high and face real life. Which is much easier to do by accepting that real life is nothing like the perfect edits we see on instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest. Real life is messy and hard.

I will end with a promise to both you and myself. I will choose to be authentic about this experience living in Thailand instead of editing it to fit the expectations of Wanderlust and social media.

___________

The photo featured in this post is an example of expectations verses reality. I was mesmorized by this picture, of what seemed to be a giant buddah head in a tree, for months. In reality its a small head not much bigger than my own. Despite it being incredible yet, my expectations based on an edited photo left me unimpressed. A hard lesson in the danger of romanticizing travel. 

[smiledaze-blog]

One of the greatest people I know, full of HONESTY!  She’s amazing,vfollow her journey!

[gilberthelena-blog]

Favorite Elena Gilbert Outfits: 1.02 The Night of The Comet

[scoutrager]

[flowergirlnyc]

[smiledaze-blog]

When my sweater slips off one shoulder

Me: I am the sexiest person in the world right now. In this moment, I'm a star.

[psych-facts]

“Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”

The Shawshank Redemption (via psych-facts)

[sosuperawesome]

[simpleisnewluxury]

[coastical]

perfect outfit for your zodiac sign!

find the perfect look that fits your astrology sign.

ARIES: trendsetters in fashion and clothing. they have a good taste and like sexy and bold styles to draw attention towards them. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

TAURUS: like to buy designer clothes on one hand, but also love wearing old clothes. earth tones and prints particularly look good on them. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

GEMINI: don’t need to make a statement by their clothing, but like to combine formal items with casualwear. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

CANCER: have the tendency to dress up according to their mood. always look good in light fabrics.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES 

LEO: wears elegant clothing that draws the attention. vibrant colors look great on them. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

VIRGO: like to wear revealing, daring clothes. white always look good on them.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

LIBRA: very beauty concious and like to dress in subtle colors like pastels combined with black, to create a chic look. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES 

SCORPIO: like to show off their intense and passionate nature through colors like red & black and fabrics such as velvet.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

SAGITTARIUS: like to experiment with their clothing. they wear colors other people wouldn’t choose very often, but they succeed to look great in them.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

CAPRICORN: look great in geometrical prints and earth tones. they don’t need a spectacular outfit to stand out, so they prefer to dress casually.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

AQUARIUS: like to shock everyone. always look good in dark blue & grey tones.

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES

PISCES: their clothing is simplistic and they look the best in turquoise, green & blue. 

example outfit: TOP / BOTTOM / SHOES