Mai Thai Adventure

Discovering life without anti-depressants, while living in Thailand.         Mindfulness • Yoga • Minimalism

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Letter

My Dearest One,

You are doing so well. Let me repeat it, because I know you don’t believe me, You are doing so well. It takes great faith and self-reliance to do what you have done. Many people would have crippled in fear at the uncertainty you have willingly stepped into. Moving itself is hard, but moving to 8,255 miles away from your home and loved ones and not crumpling into a prune is an accomplishment you should be proud of.

I know that daily life can be challenging. And the lonely nights even harder. Right now your so close to the situation that its hard for you to see all the beautiful ways you are growing. Your family and friends can already see it, but its okay that you can’t. You will! As the months pass and the stress  of  life abroad fades, you will look back on this time as some of the most formative years of your adult life. You will remember the joy of adventure, the beautiful ceremonies and temples, and the warmth of the people you met.

You only have eight weeks left in this foreign land you have made your temporary home. Take every opportunity to see, smell, and taste it all. Do not let fear keep you from seeing the spectacular beauty in each day. We can not separate safety from danger, beauty from ruins, or love from loss. Just as there can be no growth without trial. They are all weaved together so intricately in this tapestry we call life. Right now you are walking along each individual thread unable to see how each compliments the other. It will take time to see everything come together into one marvelous picture. But don’t wait. The time is now.

Take that same courage you had to jump on a plane to fly halfway across the world and use to it fuel your remaining adventures. I promise you, that you won’t regret it.

All My Love and Devotion, Madeline

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Three Months Thai

I can’t believe its already been three months since I stepped off a plane in the Land of Smiles. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I have been tested and challenged in ways I was unprepared for. And through it all I have learned so much about life, people, and myself.

In honor of my third month here, I would like to share with you all the things I love about Thailand.

The Temples: The craftsmanship and details on each temple are mesmerizing. Many of the traditional Thai buddhist temples are adorned with intricate glass mosaics that glisten in the sun.

Larb Moo: A minced pork dish with lots of lime and spices. With sticky rice, this is my  favorite Thai meal.

Pots & Ohh: Our kind neighbors who sell us snacks and water. They greet us with a smile each day as we walk to school. One night they even sold us beer after hours.

Night Markets: Street food, clothes, handcrafted goods, and knock offs of everything can be found in one of Thailand’s many night markets. My two favorites are Chatuchak Weekend Market in Bangkok (Mo Chit BTS) and the Night Bazar in Chiang Mai.

BTS Skytrain: The best way to get around Bangkok. It is an above ground train that is clean, air conditioned, and has amazing views of the city.

Mini Vans: These fifteen passenger vans run routes to literally every part of the country. While they are not the most comfortable ride, they are inexpensive and get you where you need to go.

Pineapple: I never liked pineapple until i tried it here. It tastes way better here, I swear.

Coconut Boba: Cold and refreshing. Perfect for a hot day (everyday). I am drinking one as I write this.

Refillable Water Stations: For 1 THB you can fill up a liter water bottle with fresh filtered water. Both convenient and eco-friendly.

Bathroom Power Hose: Almost every toilet in Thailand has a hose with a pressure sprayer next to the toilet. It really comes in handy when you need to clean yourself, the toilet, or of course your bathroom.

Phone Plans: I pay about $20 a month for 8 GB of 4G data. Need i say more?

Sunsets: I didn’t think California sunsets could be beat, but Thailand might be a contender. Especially ocean sunsets enjoyed from the beach with a fresh fruit drink in hand.

Islands: Thailand arguably boasts some of the most beautiful Islands in the world. The crystal teal water and colorful sea life are a can’t miss. The beach parties and fire shows can not be beat either.  So far I have visited Koh Larn, Koh Si Chang, Koh Chang, and Koh Tao.

Traditions: Thais are a very proud people. They hold their traditions and ceremonies in high respect. My favorite aspect is the Traditional Thai clothing worn on special occasions.  The formal attire is made of colorful Thai silk that is draped and beaded. I am having a custom dress made for me. I got to pick out the silk myself.

7-11: Whatever you need they probably have.  You can even pay your phone bill inside. Also, there is one on every corner, sometimes two.

Rain: It rains a lot in Thailand. We have come to expect an afternoon shower, or pour. I love the rain. The sounds, the smell, and the way it cools things down.

My Students: I will end on my  favorite part of Thailand thus far. Each day I have the privilege of teaching and learning from my Thai students. They love music, games, and laughing at my attempt to speak Thai.  We may not always understand each other, but we give find ways to connect. My goal is to make learning English fun so that even when I am gone they are left with a desire to learn more on their own. 

Three months down, another three to go, and so much more to do.

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It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

The Bhagavad Gita

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The thrill of zipping through traffic on the back of a tuk tuk late at night!

___ #Bangkok #thailand #tuktuk #crazydriver #nightimeadventures #neverstopexploring #livethelittlethings #blackandwhite #viscocam (at Bangkok, Thailand)

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A Promise for the New Year

Today in class I had my students come up with New Years Resolutions, which I explained to them as promises we make to ourselves to grow and better ourselves in the coming year.

It got me thinking about my own goals for the year, which I would like to share with you.  

Each year I usually come up with a handful of does and don’ts that I commit to for about a month then abandon. Cliche but true. So this year I have decided to focus less on tasks and more on a attitude that I can apply throughout the year. 

With this in mind my resolution this year is a simple promise:

“I promise to love and take care of myself by listening to my needs and letting go of expectations.”

Loving myself will look different depending on the day, the circumstances, and possibly the weather. It may include things like yoga, meditation, midnight ice-cream runs, staying in bed all day, changes in my diet, or just escaping into the wilderness for a weekend. All I have to do is regularly ask my true self, “what do you need?” and respond accordingly.

As long as I can look back at the end of the year and know that I did my best to take care of my needs through thick and thin, the rest is just details.

Some things on the horizon for me this year include a yoga retreat in April, solo travel around Thailand, a new tattoo, and preparing for graduate school. I think its going to be a good year.

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When you perform Jingle Bell Rock in front of 10,000 Students and you feel like your Lindsey Lohan from Mean Girls. 

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Jingle Bell Rock!

Merry Christmas from the Land of Smiles!!

Christmas is not a Thai national holiday so I still had to work, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t celebrate. 

Two days ago we were informed that the school wanted us to perform a Christmas song and dance during the morning assembly. Thai students absolutely love singing and dancing. Under normal circumstances dancing in front of 10,000 students would make me run for the hills, but when in Thailand you dance. 

We had only an afternoon to learn the choreography. If it wasn’t for the amazing Thai teachers, who helped us learn the moves and danced with us in the performance, it would have been a disaster. In the end it all came together, we even dressed up in glittery tops and santa hats. The students absolutely loved it. 

In class we watched A Christmas Carol.  I chose to show the Mickey Mouse version because my students love Disney and the vocabulary is more simple than the original.  This movie is a great English teaching tool because it is a visual representation past, present, and future tense. I also created a worksheet that tested listening comprehension and reviewed past and future tense grammar. Thai students typically struggle to grasp these concepts because their native language does not use past or future tense.  

The I.L.I department threw us a Christmas party after school, complete with a mini Christmas tree and secret santa gift exchange. I got a spa kit which I will be using this weekend and one of the other teachers got an angry bird pillow.  It wasn’t easy being away from my family on Christmas, but I managed to laugh and enjoy sharing the experience with my students and new friends. 

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So long as I have a camera with me, I am distracted from actuality. It’s a little box with which I go around grabbing at life…. There’s something about the photograph that is infirior to what you are photographing.

Alan Watts

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Breaking Up With Wanderlust

I have been in Thailand for two months now. It seems like a year has gone by. Maybe its because I am functioning on two time zones.

I haven’t posted for a while because I have struggled to articulate my emotions. Some of this is due to all the newness and unfamiliarity. However, I have also experienced a great deal of painful and depressing emotions I did not want to express. I was fearfull that in doing so, I would come across as ungrateful for the experience I have been offered. But the truth is each day is filled with frustrations, doubts, and sorrows as I try to find myself amidst a culture very unfamiliar to me.

Another reason I have not spoken of my struggles is because I feel embarrassed. I doubt that people want to hear me moan and complain, when in their eyes I am living the dream. To make things worse I see my fellow teachers finding the silver-lining in their circumstances and some even falling in love with Thailand. And it makes me sad because despite the fact that I have been given a good placement and have all of my basic physical needs met all I can think of is home.

I have mulled over these thoughts trying to understand why I feel so empty. Why I’m not elated and enchanted by this foreign land. Why my expectations are falling so short of my reality. Why daily life is so challenging. Why I can sit on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and feel nothing.

It was wanderlust that drew me to travel halfway around the world seeking new experiences. The problem is, in order to sustain a sense of wanderlust one must continue to wander and travel. Although I am living in a foreign country I am not as free to wander as I had hoped. I must deal with the details of everyday life in Thailand. I don’t get to just observe and move on as a traveler might. I must live and work within a system very foreign to me. I am beginning to realize I am not so much a traveler but a resident.  Meaning  I can not just run off to the next destination when things get rough.

I think many of my personal disappointments lie in the fact that while wanderlust calls to me its not as sustainable here as I had hoped. I get to travel and explore this beautiful country on my holidays and weekends, but it changes things when you live here. The oceans are still beautiful and the mountains still magnificent, but at the end of my the day I don’t get to go home.

This is why I am choosing to break up with the idea of Wanderlust, at least as a way of life. It sets too high of expectations for the ins and outs of everyday life. I will no longer lie and say that I am consistently excited and happy to be here. Some days I am so frustrated with my students I want to scream, and other days I miss home so terribly I stay in my room all day and cry. When you feel the need for everyday to be an adventure it makes it harder to cope with the harsh realities of everyday life.

Travel is exciting and mesmerizing and can fills me with a sense of awe and wander, but at some point I have to come down off my high and face real life. Which is much easier to do by accepting that real life is nothing like the perfect edits we see on instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest. Real life is messy and hard.

I will end with a promise to both you and myself. I will choose to be authentic about this experience living in Thailand instead of editing it to fit the expectations of Wanderlust and social media.

___________

The photo featured in this post is an example of expectations verses reality. I was mesmorized by this picture, of what seemed to be a giant buddah head in a tree, for months. In reality its a small head not much bigger than my own. Despite it being incredible yet, my expectations based on an edited photo left me unimpressed. A hard lesson in the danger of romanticizing travel. 

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My Thai Budget

Many of you have been curious about the cost of living in Thailand. In general it is less expensive. There are also some ways that it is incredibly more so, but more on that towards the end.

First let me give you a short breakdown of my monthly budget.  For your reference the exchange rate is 36 THB to 1 USD

Salary       29,300 THB   ($820)

Rent           3,500 THB    ($98)

Utilities         800 THB    ($22)

Phone           700 THB    ($20)

Food          4,000 THB    ($115)

Yoga          1,000 THB    ($30)

Savings    10,800 THB   ($300)

Travel         8,500 THB   ($235)

For the most part I try not to think about the conversions. Its too much math!

Even though the prices are much less that the U.S., sticker shock is real. Every time I break a 1,000 baht bill my chest tightens up. In reality it’s only about $30, but seeing a price with so many zeroes is something I am not used to.

Food is probably the biggest bargain here behind rent. My meals on average cost me about 30 baht each ($1). Built into my food budget is money for water and a little extra for nights in town when I want to splurge. Around my apartment there is only Thai cuisine. However, in Chonburi city there is Chinese, Japanese, a steak house, and Pizza!!! There is also an import store where I can get things like Ghirardelli chocolate, wine, and fresh bread. The staples of life.

As you can see my actually living expenses aren’t much. Rent, utilities, food, and my phone bill cost about $255 USD. I have enough extra for weekend trips and to save for longer travel.  I honestly can’t complain.

I leave you with this. One of the few things that are astronomically more expensive here are cars. A Toyota Camry costs around 2 million baht (excluding taxes). Rough conversion about $55,500 USD. Thankfully, I am only here for a year and can get by without a car.

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Allan Watts

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13 Things I Thought Would Kill Me: My First Month In Thailand

Leeches! Tigers! and E-Coli! Oh My!

         Fear is a powerful and sometimes misguided emotion. Adjusting to living in a foreign place can be scary at times with all the different sights, sounds, and wildlife.  Your senses are overloaded and its easy to perceive a something small as life threatening. Here is a list of things that for a split second I thought might kill me. I find laughing through the fear makes it a lot easier. 

Water:  

The water here is unsafe to drink, even the locals avoid it. Its easy enough to find bottled water, but I keep forgetting to close my mouth in the shower. One night in a panic I grabbed the bar of soap and scrubbed my tongue. I think next time I will just risk whatever horrors the water may or may not possess.    

Bugs: 

They are everywhere. And they are huge! The cockroaches fly and every mosquito bite leaves you wondering if your infected with Malaria or something worse.  

Stray Dogs:

Do they have rabies? Can they smell fear? What if they all gang up on me at once? 

E-coli:

Food poisoning is just considered part of normal adjustment to Thailand. But when one of your comrades falls ill to the fabled illness that your parents warned you about all your life, you begin to fear all food. Its like playing Russian Roulette with your stomach, three times a day.

Motor Taxi:

No shoes, no helmet, no problem. Traveling by motor taxi teeters the line between thrill and insanity, especially when your driver decides to run red lights.

Transportation in General:  

All bets are off on the roads. If there are rules, no one follows them. The cheapest and easiest way to get around is by Songthaew, a pick-up truck with the bed converted into two benches. There is typically 10-20 people crammed in the back of these at once.  Seat belts are for pansies. 

Electrical Wires: 

Walking anywhere for the first two weeks felt like a death trap. There are exposed electrical wires wrapped around the handrails on the overpasses. Should make things interesting when it rains.  Good news its I am getting used to the hum of hanging live wires on my walk to school.

Crossing the Street:

Apparently Thailand has the most dangerous roads of any non-war torn country in the world. Risk walking across a live wired overpass or attempt to cross one of the most dangerous roads int the world? Choose one and may the odds be in your favor.

Allergies: 

Apparently I am allergic to Thailand. I had what seemed like the worlds worst cold for two weeks before I realized it was allergies. I was running a nightly fever, I could hardly breath out of my nose, and my body ached all over. Thankfully medication is cheap and easy to get here. 

Denge Fever: 

This is a disease that apparently lands you in the hospital for a month. Yes people do die, and no there isn’t a vaccine. Add this to list of things to panic about after every mosquito bite.

Green Beef: 

Lets just say after this particular experience I ate yogurt, cheese, and crackers for a week straight.

Leeches: 

You have never know pure fear until these tiny bloodsuckers start crawling their way into your tent through the tiny vents holes. In Thailand leeches don’t just attach in the water. The evolved Thai leech hunts its prey on land as well.

Tigers: 

After all the above mentioned horrors, this seems to be the least probable and therefore the least frightening.

        My first month living in Thailand has consisted mostly of adjusting to my new home. I have experienced stress, fear, and plenty of anxiety as I try to orient myself in this strange new place. I am now able to look back and laugh at most of these fears. However, others still linger in the recess of my thoughts and occasionally haunt my dreams. Leeches.

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Why Thailand?

      Some of you may be wondering how this California girl ended up halfway around the world. Well let me tell you. 

      My senior year of college I spent a great deal of time thinking through my post graduation options. I knew that I did not want to continue straight into graduate school for my masters. I had spent four years working nonstop to earn my degree in Social Work, from Abilene Christian University. I needed a break. I considered moving to an urban area, like many of my friends, and just finding myself a nine-five, but again I felt that I had all my life to just work. I was keenly aware that this time in my life was unique. I had little responsibility and little to keep me from pursuing almost anything. So, I began the process of searching for a job that offered a unique experience and most importantly adventure. 

       That's when a family friend, whose son had taught English in Spain, recommended CIEE. The moment I looked into the program I knew teaching abroad was the opportunity I had been waiting for. I began the application process for Spain at first. But as you know, I ended up in Thailand instead. 

       Thailand stood out for me for a number of reasons.  First was the difference of culture. I had spent my whole life in the states and traveled only to other Westernized countries. Thailand offered a unique cultural experience of the East. Second, I knew quite a few people, in college, who were from Thailand. They had nothing but good things to say about their home country, and I couldn’t help but be jealous that they grew up seeing wild elephants. Third was the food. I grew up celebrating many special occasions with Thai food, everything from Birthdays to Graduations. So it seemed only fitting that I visit the motherland of such unique cuisine. 

       The beautiful geography of the country wasn’t also a draw. From the mountains in the north, to the jungles in the central region, and the breathtaking Islands in the south, this is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. The opportunities for adventure are countless. There is everything from hiking, to rock climbing, to scuba diving, and zip lining. I love the outdoors and knew I wanted to be somewhere that had many activities to partake in. 

         Lastly was the tradition. Thailand has held onto their history and culture as much of the world around them has advanced and left behind their roots. There are still traditional rice farms and villages in the north, and numerous festivals and holidays throughout the year. Many of which are accompanied by decorative costumes and sacred ceremonies. The culture, the colors, the food, the buddhist/eastern mentality, these were all things I felt drawn to and wanted to experience for myself. 

      So, here am. I have begun teaching at Eastern Technological School in Chonburi, Thailand. I love my school and my co-workers, both Thai and American. The students are fun and love to laugh. We play lots of games and use charades to communicate through the language barrier. I look forward to telling you more about them. 

P.S. There are over 10,000 students at this school!!!!

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I have learned that no matter what you say, Someone will always be there to criticize or question you. Speak up anyways! Your voice, and your story are worth sharing. Do not be afraid to demand space in this world.

Me

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Thousands of years have passed since this temple was once the center of a great Capitol and center of trade. People have come and gone. Structures have fallen and the new cities have sprung up around it. This tree has witnessed both greatness and the destruction. It has become one with the ancient stone, it’s branches and roots growing in and around the structure. This specific tree protects the dismembered head of Buddha in its branches. This tree remembers and knows things long forgotten.

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Wat Phra Kaew is the holiest of Temples in all of Thailand. This temple is home the Jade Buddha, which is believed to bring protection and good luck. We to cleanse ourselves with water before enter the temple. The use of water in purification rituals can be found in many cultures which seems to suggest we are all connected to something greater than ourselves. 

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Arrival!

    After many months of meticulously planning every detail, doing way too much research, and repacking at least three times; I finally made it. 

     I now live in Thailand. For the next six months this humid, colorful, and spicy country will be home. 

      The purpose of this blog is to document my adventures. I plan to die one day and I don’t want all my thoughts and stories to die with me.  I hope to authentically articulate my experiences through posts, photos, and quotes. 

      It also will be a place for me to work through the emotions and challenges that come with living abroad. Think of it as online therapy. So if your continue reading, please do so with grace and know that I am just doing my best to survive and thrive during this time. 

       And of course this is for my family. They mean the world to me. Sadly the time difference of 15 hours makes it difficult to talk as often as we would like. (Hey there mom, dad, nana, harrison, and Ethan.)

     Moving to Thailand is the most daring thing I have ever done. I know it wont always be easy but I plan to treat myself with love and grace along the way. I hope you enjoy reading about my adventures as much as I enjoy sharing them.