Diary Of A Little Girl

In a big big world

[smipu]

[smipu]

I want to wish you a merry Christmas, but since you dont believe in anything, I’ll keep it until you do.

Cuz I’m nothing but a believer

[smipu]

30%, they say

Can we make it?

[smipu]

“I and my cat miss you”

[smipu]

Anh ơi, em vẫn đang cố gắng, cố thật nhiều...

[smipu]

old and new

This is the place I went on the second date with my first love.

Then we broke up, and things got shitty, and I felt terribly depressed whenever I went past this place, or any places that we had been together.

And there’s the healer of all broken hearts, time.

Today I came to this place, with a friend, hoping to replace the painful feelings with some other nice memories.

“Dear you, I miss you to death, but I’m not gonna bother you, cause I love you dearly, and I want you to be happy, even if it hurts me a lot”

[smipu]

Going to my friend’s house

I’m in green and order an iced matcha milk tea with red bean ☺️☺️ so, I’m all green today

“Green is your fav colour, right my love?, you always said it’s the most beautiful color, I’m all green today, can I be your favorite too? 😌😌?”

[smipu]

If you want to move on, you have to leave your past behind. Carrying such a burden and you can never move.

If you are too easy-going with yourself, then one day you have to pay, a moment of joy can equal lots of pain and money, so choose wisely.

No sugar, no milk, no things that help your body detox. Do not wear camisole or tank top because your bed sheet is full of dirt and bacteria. Do not take shower with cream, and and have a towel just for your back. Be responsible, think of the pain you have to suffer and the money you have to spend whenever you want to put some sweet in your mouth.

[smipu]

Today I came across a nice book

wabi-sabi

I have been lost, now I am found

[smipu]

“Of all signs, the memento most seems to have a reality of its own. It refers to the past and so is effectively a sign, but it is also precious in itself since, as a bit of the past that has not disappeared, it keeps the past present for us. But it is clear that this characteristic is not grounded in the being of the object itself. A memento has value as a memento only for someone who already--i.e., still--recalls the past. Mementos lose their value when the past of which they remind one no longer has any meaning. Furthermore, someone who not only uses mementos to remind him but makes a cult of them and lives in the past as if it were the present has a disturbed relation to reality.”

Hans-Georg Gadamer, Truth and Method (152-153).

[smipu]

Can I really do it, or is it just me in “toxic positivity”??

[smipu]

My first love is a narcissist to me 🙃🙃

I hate to admit it, but I think it’s the true

He’s the one who said he liked me and the first to say “I love you”, he did all the romantic gestures and stuffs. He was the first boyfriend of mine, first hand-in-hand, first kiss, first .. stuff, so I was so stupid and immature, I really thought “this is it, this is the one”, and really, you couldn’t blame me, how could I not believe when he kept picturing our future, with two kids named after me, and a small house in the countryside with trees and dogs and just us. I mean, I was sooo new in this love stuff so I was a fool, I love him with all my heart and soul, how stupid and crazy of me. And only after 3 months, he began to criticize everything I believed and did. He told me I had to change this and that, and when I did change he said he didn’t like to see me trying like that, just be me? I mean, Wtf you want me to do??? And even when we had broken up, he still texted me and asked me for that. He told me he wanted a break because he had to focus on work. Then just few weaks after our last time, he announced being in a relationship. 2 weeks later he asked me to do that with him, which I say ‘No’ to, then posted a picture wearing ring and holding another girl’s hand on the next day, and a month later, anounced their engagement. He said he knew her for only a couple of months, but I think he had her as a back-up for a long time, so when things went wrong with me, he just moved on so quickly that it made me terribly hurt. I realized he didn’t really love me, but only himself. I was a fool to believe that. And now I have to heal the wound he left me.

“Still, my love is real, not because you treat me badly that it will disappear. But I won’t let myself involve with you any longer. I can’t bring myself to hate you like the way you have become to hate me, so I will just let it go. I forgive you, as I forgive me, we should be strangers again, and I truly wish I was wrong about you being narcisstic, and I hope this time you really find love and be happy”

[smipu]

As a senior overthinker, let me tell you one thing: knowing it beforehand doesn’t make it less painful when you really experience it. So my lesson is, just go with the flow ☺️☺️

[smipu]

Day 2 dancing

Today we danced the song ‘All of me’

Yup, its a great happy love song, yet it reminded me of you

Earlier today, I found out that you got engaged

And perharps, soon, you will get married

And you guys looked so good together that it pissed me off

Just kidding, I’m really happy for you, that you found the one, I’m sorry that I’m not that one, I had the chance with you, but I ruined it, I’m really sorry ...

At least one of us is happy

Soon I will happy again 🙃🙃, soon, I hope ...

[smipu]

The start of something neww

[smipu]

I understand. It’s not that we don’t love each other, it’s just we are so different. Still, it hurts a lot. I am trying to accept the fact that we can’t be together, and I think I am on the right way. Like the mermaid dancing in front of her prince and his lover, I believe what I am doing is right, yet it’s damn painful, fucking painful 🙃🙃.

Sometimes I just want to give up and call him, who cares about that girl, who cares about him, I want him and I gonna try to take him back. But if he’s mine, then I dont have to fight, right?

[smipu]

They say: only time can heal a broken heart

I wonder: how long is it gonna take me to forget that you exist?