I'll be the empty canvas, if you be the paint @smokewhateveryouvegotleft - Tumblr Blog

understands

catchymemes

justvnilla

You’ve heard of be gay do crime

Now get ready for

carelust

burgertv

armpitkink

me: i’m stressed

someone: don’t be stressed

me:

twitterlols

glumshoe

My father and I play this… game… in which we both pretend to be attempting to assassinate each other. When we serve the other food or drink, we’ll adopt the most suspicious mannerisms and wording possible, as though the food were secretly poisoned and we are eagerly waiting for them to eat it and die.

The other player pretends that they know their food is poisoned, but must feign ignorance and try to come up with subtle excuses not to eat/drink it without seeming rude or directly confronting the other about the attempted kinslaying.

Wholesome family bonding.

glumshoe

Last night my father brought me “a nice tall glass of ice water” and stood there watching me closely as I sipped it. I pretended to swallow, at which point he threw his head back and laughed maniacally.

While he was laughing, I spit the entire mouthful of water that I’d been holding in my mouth onto his shirt, patted my chest, and said, “Oh, dear, Father; I’m afraid this water was just too cold. I need to let it warm up. Why don’t I make us some… tea.”

glumshoe

Another thing we do is imply that we have set lethal traps for each other.

“Goodnight Father,” I’ll tell him (because Father with a capital F is the most sinister and threatening thing you can call your dad). “I hope you sleep well tonight. Very well. It would be a shame if something… disturbed you.“ In response, he’ll make an offhand remark about needing to Google the upper age limit for sudden infant death syndrome, or he’ll bring up my “inheritance” and the possibility that he might have worthy bastard children somewhere.

My mother does not like our game.

vvitchella

Bitch! I'm absorbing nutrients I'm busy.

huffylemon

snuv

fantasysclerosis

My sister knew a women who would adopt any solid black cat with yellow eyes that came into the shelter. No cats with green eyes, no spots of white. Solid black. My sister later discovered why. Her husband doesn't want any more cats, but isn't actually sure of how many they have. So as long as her cats look exactly the same as the others, he can't pick them out and be unhappy when the brings home another one.

inthenameofloveforthesakeofpower

HALSEY.

Twitter — June 5, 2020.

teaboot

Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription

Me: My pills make me not want to die tho

They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal

Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills

teaboot

Again: But you aren’t the *real* you when you’re on your pills

Me: I’m the alive version of me

teaboot

An actual doctor, once: “Relying On A Chemical Crutch For A Hormonal Imbalance Denies The Fortitude Of The Human Soul”

Me: Cool so like I’m agnostic

inner-muse

They: “But you might be on pills the rest of your life!”

Me: “So?”

illnessisnteasy

Good! That means that I have a “rest of” my life to continue living!

Thanks to the pills.

erinptah-admin

Meanwhile, no person ever: “You should think about giving up your insulin/antiretrovirals/beta blockers/anti-rejection drugs/prosthetic legs/daily multivitamin, because using those your whole life is bad for some reason”

teaboot

Oh no, they do that too.

living-deciduously

I have a kidney transplant. A woman once told me she didn’t believe in organ transplants and that people should just die when they’re meant to.

teaboot

Sounds like a great set-up for a murder

teaboot

People who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they’re doing something right that the rest of us haven’t thought of, and not just because they got lucky

livebloggingmydescentintomadness

furthermore, neurotypical/healthy people are literally 100% dependent on the same chemicals and hormones as those of us on medication, it’s just that their own bodies are capable of supplying them without aid. if a neurotypical suddenly lost all their serotonin, they would ALSO be severely depressed.

needing medication to find the equilibrium that healthy/NT people can supply themselves with doesn’t make you weak or a failure. honestly, let’s just be grateful that such medication exists rather than shaming ourselves for needing it.