Still In Style

Blue jeans, white shirt Walked into the room you know I made your eyes burn

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Okay. Okay, here’s the thing, I’m not… embarrassed of you. At least not anymore. I.. like you. But also if I publicly go out with you? I will literally be homeless.

I can’t tell anyone or go on a date at that stupid tea shop with you or just generally do anything that’s not in, like, a broom closet. So. I don’t know. If you want to just forget it ever happened and go back to siccing domestic animals on each other, that’s… I’m fine. I can do that.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Is there any universe - literally any parallel reality - in which you believe I might want to go to the fucking tea shop? 

I can have my memory refreshed in a broom closet. I have no problems with that. I mean, it might not end with me being homeless, but I would prefer to keep my eyes in my head, the possibility of which dramatically decreases the second Bellatrix finds out about said memories.

But yeah, I’m not really into the whole domestic animals option, so...yeah, let’s make out in the broom closets. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

No. That would be a bad strategy considering kissing you twenty seconds ago probably would’ve blown my cover. 

Are you going to need your memory refreshed multiple times in the future?

[smokinteddy-blog]

Well you know me. I can be a regular Leonard Shelby when it comes to stuff like this. 

But uhm...if I recall correctly, last time we were seen in public together, I believe the word you used was “embarrassing” so...I’m obviously feeling a little confused. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh my god, you’re such a baby. By the way, I’m pretty sure Hemingway and Nicholas Sparks are on the same tier so.

[smokinteddy-blog]

I cannot believe you just-

Oh. That kiss thing. Okay, sure, let’s talk about it. Are you gonna pretend you didn’t like it now?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

…That was super embarrassing. Did you lift that from a Nicholas Sparks novel? I don’t think I can kiss you after that, I need a minute.

[smokinteddy-blog]

How dare you? How dare you? I would never waste my time reading Nicholas Sparks. 

You have done nothing but persecute me all day long and I won’t stand for it. This is a hate crime. This is because I’m a muggleborn. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

You know, I can’t say for certain, but I think I did you a solid. Legend has it that real-live harpies are extremely warty down there.

Can you be serious for two milliseconds of your life? Thanks. The kissing thing. That thing.

[smokinteddy-blog]

The kissing thing? Hmm...nope, not ringing any bells. 

Refresh my memory?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh, lovely. I have lost all feeling in my foot due to the cold.  Glad you’ve been passing all your etiquette skills onto him. 

One of them is moving into my dorm, so there’s going to be even more noise than usual. Maybe she’ll put a voodoo curse on all of Gloriana’s hair products and she’ll be so ashamed she has to transfer.

Hi. I already said that. Are we going to talk about the thing?

[smokinteddy-blog]

That is so typical of you, you spiteful jerk, hoping that Gloriana will transfer before I get the chance to find out whether her chamber of secrets is really as magical as they say it is. 

What thing? The Americans thing? Is that the thing you’re talking about? Is the thing Peppermint Bark? Is that the thing?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Hard-won, huh? What kind of steep competition did you have? Wait, let me guess, the homeless crup who follows you around and that fourth year who wears the Darth Vader socks?

Hi. Did you read about the Salem thing?

[smokinteddy-blog]

Actually, Crup is right under the seat, and he’s gnawing on your Mary Janes. Good Crup! Good boy!

Yeah, I read about it. What’s there to say at this point? Now not only do I have to deal with Death Eaters, I have to deal with Americans, and something tells me they’re not coming from the Algonquin. 

Hi. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

—Hm? Oh, sorry, were you sitting here? I have been exiled from my dorm room after a toxic potion-gone-wrong spill and it’s late enough that all the empty classrooms are locked so I just kind of… sorry. I can move.

[smokinteddy-blog]

No, by all means, stay there. I live to give up my hard-won seat at the cool kids table at the pleasure of the princess.

[carrow-metohell]

“What are you doing here?”

[smokinteddy-blog]

“Looking at something incredibly stupid.” 

“Sometimes I like to do this, you know, to remind myself of what a special star I am.” 

[smokinteddy-blog]

blackvelvetbones:

Oh man. That was. That was definitely not a smart thing to do. That was actually probably the least smart thing you have ever done, and you voluntarily put a dragon blood flavored e-cigarette in your mouth. You can’t tell anyone you did that, okay? And before you open your stupid mouth, it’s not because I don’t like you. I think you probably know I don’t not like you.

You’re right. That was an incredibly stupid thing to do, because now that I’ve done it, now that I know what that feels like, there’s no way I can not do that again.

Oh, what, like you think I’m in a big hurry to let everyone know the highlight of my life so far has been kissing Bellatrix Black’s sister? Kiss me again.

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Excuse me? I– I do not have moony eyes, you are the one with the moony eyes and you are constantly staring at me from behind pillars and sneaking up on me at parties and just… I don’t know, being there all the time. Have you considered for even half a second that, while my family actually murdering you has been used as an excuse in the past, it is actually now a valid concern? And that you, in all your warmth and sunshiney disposition, are maybe not the easiest person to warm up to quickly?

Make up my mind about what exactly? Because at this point, I’m really not sure what you want from me.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Oh don’t give me that bullshit. I know moony eyes when I’ve seen them. Christ, at least pretend to respect me enough to think I can recognize that you... God, this is so like you, to try to make me think I’m crazy to imagine that you might have feelings for me, like it’s just so absurd that it’s just unthinkable. Well, it’s not absurd and I know it’s not absurd and there’s nothing you can say to make me think it’s absurd, and yeah, maybe I am around you all the time, because I like being around you. Maybe I’m around you all the time because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who...oh, fuck your family. You want to know what I want? Fine. This is what I want. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh my god, one of these days you are going to actually physically give me whiplash.

Whatever. Of course it’s not serious. You’re right, we probably could not to any of that stuff. And even if we did, it would be largely pointless. I really was just asking for the sake of the salad fork.

[smokinteddy-blog]

I’m going to give you whiplash? Are you freakin kidding me? I’m the one who got all dressed up in the stupid suit and went to the suicide sunset party to find you and ask you to dance once to hear later that you would have been too embarrassed to be seen even touching someone like me, then next time I turn around you’re looking at me with that stupid half-smile and those moony eyes and you’re staying with me after Pomona’s death so tell me, Andromeda, which one of us is really at risk for whiplash here?

God, you’re just so...make up your god damned mind, would you?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

No. Just making sure my salad fork is going to make it through the evening. Would’ve been kind of weird if I brought a spare.

Besides, that’s the guy’s job.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Yeah, well, this guy’s already been humiliated. Fool me once, shame on you, et cetera et cetera.

Anyway, that’s all just...jokes and stuff, anyway. Even if we wanted to, it’s not like we could actually do any of that stuff. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

…Huh. Sounds lame. Glad we’re not doing that. Super inconsiderate of you, too, you know how much I hate getting my hair wet and eating meat of ambiguous origin.

Are you going to Slughorn’s Christmas thing tomorrow?

[smokinteddy-blog]

No. Why? Are you asking me out?

[hercism]

“Truth will out,” she agreed, fiddling with the buttons on her blouse – damn, missed one again. It wasn’t like she tried to be permanently disheveled - the universe tended towards entropy. Nevertheless, she tried to fix the bottom three again. “Edward Tonks, if you’re a tough guy, I’m the Giant Squid.” 

“–I don’t want to do much of anything, really. Your aura’s gone a bit pale there. Has anyone ever told you that you’re rather precious when startled?”

[smokinteddy-blog]

“Well, for all I know you are hiding a tentacle or two under there.” Ted thumbed awkwardly at the corner of the book in his hand and looked everywhere except at Sybill. “I’m not precious,” he grumbled, then looked up. “I lost my mom, too. I mean, it’s not as bad, probably, because I never really even knew her, and you do know your mom, so I guess that’s probably worse. But, umm...you know, if anyone gives you any trouble for a while, let me know, huh?”

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

No? Since I haven’t had that particular nightmare yet, where would we go? 

[smokinteddy-blog]

Hmm...I don’t know. Somewhere you’ve never been before. Doing something you’ve never done before. 

Maybe we could go all the way to New York City. Eat greasy hot dogs from a cart, watch street performers until it started to rain. Walk through central park without umbrellas, find a fountain, make a wish and then splash on in after the pennies. Get your hair wet. You’d pretend to complain about your clothes and the food and the crowd but I’d know you were lying. I’d complain about your high heels and your squeaky voice and the fact that when I asked if you had a penny you pulled two galleons out of your purse but you’d know I was lying.

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

…That would imply you taking me somewhere distinguished enough to have utensils, and I’m pretty sure your idea of ‘fine dining’ is a seedy dive bar.

Are you asking me out?

[smokinteddy-blog]

Ha. You wish. Keep dreaming, princess. That’s the only place you’ll ever see me asking you out.

And anyway, I wouldn’t take a girl like you to a dive bar. Just so you know.