Can I Roll For That?

A sideblog for Critical Role/DND. Sometimes I cosplay (but only characters who don’t smile). Mostly abandoned so please hang out with me @recentlylocal.

[smolranger]

Hi I sort of abandoned this blog but! I post cr stuff sometimes on my main so you can also follow me there if you wanna hear my rambles about the new season of tlovm <3

[tracing-rivers]

[radrillest]

i was born in a wet paper bag and my mom needed to put me in the toaster oven to make me crispy enough 2 survive

[thechekhov]

Eadwulf’s life is a series of hilarious mistakes.

Confused? Here’s the first comic.

[throwmethatcello]

My favorite moments from each member of Vox Machina.

Grog

- The whole trash talk pre-battle against Kevdak. Travis WOW.

- “Grand Poobah de Doink of all Thisanthat” and everything that came with that title.

- When he asked Pike to teach him how to read and I ugly cried + “I spend the following years learning how to read” in the epilogue and I also ugly cried.

- “The Grog and Craven Edge show”

- When he was sad because he didn’t have a role in Vex and Percy’s wedding and then they asked him to be the flower girl and he was.just.so.happy.and.proud.of.himself. “Can I have this job??” Groooog why are you so wholesome :’(

Vex

- “I thought he’d never leave” - No explanation needed

- “I open the door COMPLETELY NAKED” - Behold the supreme queen of powerplays, we are not worthy and we’ll never be.

- When she went find Kaylie after Scanlan died and convinced her to go see him + Later when Allura told her the resurrection ritual succeeded and she was so happy but she was all alone in that tavern so she just started buying everyone drinks (and spending money????? !!!!!!) and flirting with people out of habit but then she kinda remembered she was with Percy and backed off and went to sleep, lmao what a journey.

- Her wedding vows. Laura Bailey will you please let me live.

Vax

- The time the Briarwoods caught him spying on them and he serious and genuinely attempted to fuck his way out of there and in all fairness who can blame him. Truly the bisexual representation I deserve, god bless this dumb horny boy.

- GUYS. WHERE. IS. LARKIN!!!

- “let’s go, you bastard!” and kissed Percy. Thank you Liam O’Brien for my life.

- He really went straight to Percy’s bathroom and got into the tub with him just to share an awkward silence and tell him that he’s like a brother to him and then showed him his ass as he left. Vax’ildan what the actual fuck, brothers don’t do that kind of shit and you know it, why are you like this!!!

Percy

- *Masterfully parlays with an ancient green dragon and keeps his cool until the very moment she leaves the room. Proceeds to have a panic attack* Also pretty sure he kinda wanted to fuck the dragon. Anyways this scene is sexy af and I stan a badass bitch with severe trauma and valid kinks.

- When he literally inflicted damage to himself with a kettle full of fantasy menthos to win a cannonball contest.

- Wasted! Percy (ft. Keyleth and the weird marquesian drink)

- “SYLAS!!!!”

- This motherfucker, this absolute agent of madness went and signed yet another soul-binding contract with a demon under the galaxy brain reasoning that “I already sold my soul once, so if I sell it again worst case scenario I get to watch 2 demons fighting over my soul and that would be very entertaining” I’m-

Tary

- “It’s going to be FUN, FUN, FUN!”

- Flashcards class with Pike. Just. Amazing. Outstanding. Sam Riegel what you have is called TALENT. 

- “…and it was the METRIC SYSTEM!”

- The time Taryon Darrington spent his first night in company of a lady and immediately decided it was going to be the last one. 

- His “fuck you dad” speech was absolutely beautiful and his explanation on how Vox Machina showed him what it meant to be a family. Sam you can’t just fucking do this kind of shit to unsuspecting watchers, I’m soft. 

Keyleth

- “We are basically gods!” *proceeds to jump off a cliff and die" WE LOVE A DUMBASS QUEEN.

- When she went off on Raishan, just omg Keyleth, the raw power of it all!!!

- “Hey percy you know what would be fun, if I turned into a fucking elephant and you got on top of me so we can go deliver this mask/helmet to Grog in a cool classy fashion. *turns into an elephant* Oh shoot I forgot doors exist, it sure would have been a good idea to polimorph after leaving the room, well whatever, here goes nothing *starts to fucking smash the door with her elephant body* Oh, here comes Grog and Scanlan, hey guys! Wait, why are you attacking me it’s me, your good friend Keyleth! Ouch! Ok you know what now I’m pissed, let’s fucking go!! If I shall go down in this form so be it. *Rages against Grog and Scanlan and gets fucking decked*

- Keyleth’s epilogue was just beautiful and the perfect way to close the campaign. Much feels. Much cry.

Pike

- *Takes a sip of the weird Markesian drink* “Haha I don’t feel anything” *Takes another sip of the weird Markesian drink. Passes out automatically*

- Pike: Maybe we should sleep together and see how it goes

Scanlan: O- OKAY????

Pike: No just kidding lol sorry

- “Guiding bolt up his butt” 

- “Sometimes I talk to Scanlan through the earring even though I know he can’t hear me” like, Ashley stop. And then she gets drunk and starts actually talking to him like, ASHLEY STOP.

Scanlan

- “You’ll leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!”

- “Do you spice?” or “Scanlan spends a whole episode in a quest for drugs. Ends up getting a bag of baking soda for like 400G. Lives with the shame for the rest of his life” Perfect. Spectacular. You just can’t write shit this good.

- When he apologizes to Pike for being a fuckboy.

- Every single counterspell this motherfucker has ever casted.

- Basically the whole battle against Vecna was endless epic content from Scanlan.

- You know what, every single Scanlan moment is iconic and we all know it. Let’s not pretend we can just pick a few.

[your-turn-to-role]

adhd vax proof

(feel free to add more!)

the entire cup stacking scene. just, all of it.

never sits still, even liam irl is constantly playing with his daggers or spinning his spiky d20 like a fidget spinner

starts prank war with grog, grog retaliates, "so grog hates me now" (and genuinely believes it, it's part of his whole depression rant to vex), biiiig rsd mood

(also the whole "i don't handle personal emotional confrontation very well" in a character that is hugely empathetic, wears his heart on his sleeve, and often starts the emotional conversation. he's trying but those emotions get real big real fast)

despite having the second highest intelligence of the group (and tied for highest for the entire first half of the campaign, before taliesin bumped up percy's stat with his ASI after ep 58), canonically struggled with school, ended up mentally checking out a lot and just copying vex's work (not just a rebellion thing, if he had no problem doing the work and just chose not to, he wouldn't have bothered copying vex's)

doesn't believe he's smart, either - he absolutely is, but if anyone says so he gives them a look like "what the fuck are you talking about", he thinks that trait's reserved for percy and vex

(and the things that he most gets called an idiot for tend to be impulsive emotion based decisions)

got distracted during an important mission as soon as more interesting things started happening, straight up forgot his original task he'd been given, and then entirely improvised a new plan before remembering he had specific orders

seriously look at this shit

he is listening, to this very important conversation about percy's goodbye letter

he just does it best like this

[improbabledreams900]

The Legend of Vox Machina, where every character is the mind-controlled character

(where every character is the whump character)

[lesbeauien]

Some of my most favorite completely pivotal, campaign-changing moments from Critical Role Campaign 2, in no particular order:

-mail fraud

-walking through a literal, not-space-related, massively long tunnel-like worm hole from one continent to another

-blueberry cupcakes

-almost killing a weird purple dude with a weird geometric object, letting him go only for him to get killed by the government an instant later, and then being like “well I don’t want the GOVERNMENT to have whatever that is” and stealing it back on a whim. and then just. carrying around a powerful magical relic of unknown significance. for months. just jangling around in their bags and occasionally being whipped out for a once-a-day reroll. this thing started a WAR and then disappeared from under the noses of TWO NATIONS and these random adventuring chucklefucks had it the whole time

-appearing for an audience before a queen of a foreign land wearing BDSM gear and whipping out one of their lost religious relics

-The Wildmother loving her weird pink son enough to give him THREE successful divine interventions

-relentlessly attempting to become best friends with a war criminal even after learning that he started a war

-accidentally stealing a pirate ship. not ~accidentally stealing~, actually on accident stealing a pirate ship with no intentions to do so prior to stealing the pirate ship. and then going “I guess we’re pirates now.”

-Fjord flipping off a sea god and destroying his weird sea sword and then refusing or forgetting to get rid of the weird sea orb inside him and then going out to sea after he pissed off the sea god. multiple times.

-Yasha cannot make a wisdom saving throw to save her life her free will and it changed the course of the story. multiple times.

-negotiating peace between warring nations, and then dipping out to go organize and attend a cult convention

-going to their first ever big city and being like “what do we do now? crime? is crime what we do now? crime?” and committing treason and conspiring to murder a city official and joining a crime syndicate led by a wet dude who later turned out to be Jester’s dad

[slayerscake]

Since Vex was probably pregnant with Vesper throughout the god bullshit and has interacted with very powerful magic throughout that time; I headcannon that Vesper is born a Divine Soul sorcerer.

Scanlan after babysitting Vesper and using all of his spell slots to counterspell her magic.

Scanlan: The good news is we put out the fire. The bad news is that your baby can do magic.

[slayerscake]

They go to Gilmore's parents for parenting tips

[hyperbali]

And of course, MY BOY

[jibril-thelibraryangel]

Orym waking up in a cold sweat: OH GODS MY IDIOTS ARE IN DANGER

*Sees all the Bell’s hells sleeping peacefully around him*

Orym: Good just a nightmare

*Goes back to sleep*

…

…

…

Orym: SHIT MY OTHER IDIOTS

[lorn-art]

(This line is popular on quite a few of those incorrect quotes tumblr blogs, I don’t know where it is from originally,, enjoy)

[nxctrns]

(caleb why.psd)

To think that this would be the least of my worries of the episode.

[azaikit]

“Do you think this is what Mother saw before she died?”

“…do not go far from me.”

“I won’t, I swear.”

[keplercryptids]

[image description: a drawing of Vax and Vex, kneeling and facing each othe rin front of a dark background. They are slender pale-complexioned half-elf twins  with straight black hair. Vax’s hair is shoulder-length and half pulled backed. He’s wearing a black cloak and gloves, dark gray shirt and dark blue pants. Vex’s hair is braided over her shoulder and she’s wearing brown leather armor over a blue shirt and black pants. There’s a quiver of arrows on her back. They both look distressed, and Vax is holding both of his sister’s hands as Vex says, “Do you think this is what Mother saw before she died?”]

[propalahramota]

castle // halsey

[vethbrenatto]

Dad, make us roll for it!

[bastart13]

I swear I am still losing sleep over how perfect your Delilah and Sylas art is.

To quote Vax "Gosh, you are a handsome couple"

Like... he wasn't lying