ainât it just a tragedy? all those smuppets, forced out of their natural environments due to human development. shit sucks, man. what a bummer.
guess you donât know about that.
you know about smuppets because you probably had one skitter by you when you were boarding the subway. or maybe your apartment complex had a colony living in the walls all cozy like.
to you, theyâre vermin. pests. maybe you find them cute in a sad, pathetic way. but i donât doubt for a second you think theyâre dirty. you wouldnât touch one. not in a million years.
if youâve got any understanding of invasive species, or any species in general that is not native to its current ecosystem, then you should know they had to have come from somewhere.
âŚwhat, you think i know? shit, if you were lookinâ for professionalism, you shouldâve tried JSTOR.
nah, smuppets come from like, south america, or some shit. new zealand. madagascar. papua new guinea. theyâve still got some original colonies in these places, but their range is pretty diminished. odd, considering the rate at which they reproduce and the at times inconvenient aversion predators have to their naturally fluorescent pelts.
they tend to do best on islands. keeps the population in check most of the time, and thereâs usually a decent PPR. iâll tell you more about burrows and some specifics later.
course, thereâre the urban colonies that cropped up from some negligent traveling at some point in history. pilgrims n shit. or maybe some rich, wannabe zoologist intentionally brought a hearty collection of smuppets to a place they didnât belong, and the population got out of control one way or another. either way, those bitches have taken up in cities like they own those streets, and i swear to god iâve watched one battle it out with a particularly sizable rat before over a stray (and comically-appropriate) fry. freaky shit.
honestly theyâve adapted pretty well to cities. just makes me upset theyâre there in the first place. smuppets should be out in the wild, unprobed by mankind, with the wind blowing through their noble plumage. you put them in a sewer or attic space, and you just end up with something that looks halfway between a toy some kid left at the park that a dog got the better of and the dog itself.
iâll be honest. i was bullshitting you about the original habitat. only one of the smuppet regions listed above has documented toxic smuppets, so thatâs likely what counts as an âoriginal habitat.â poisonousâaposematism or deimatic displaysâhence the pelts. what category they fall into is based on the diet-sourced toxins derived from that region (or rather, not). whatever, dawg. iâm not a scientist.
anyway, given the range of wild smuppets, they tend to do best in subtropical climates. these fuckers donât do well tryinâ to migrate further north on their own, but as youâve seen from the state of lower North America and parts of Asia, theyâre not above adapting and acclimatizing. still, iâve yet to hear about any Russians or Canadians complaining about an infestation.
