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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@smutgoblin
I really need someone with whom I can wail about the amazing historical aesthetic of The Queen's Gambit. @tiyetiye? @equalstrashflavoredtrash? SOMEONE WATCH THIS SHOW SO WE CAN SCREAM ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK AND TUPPERWARE TOGETHER!
Crawling out of my shame hole to say "yes please watch this." Also hello all I like seeing how well everyone is doing and reading your new works.
The Heart of Admiration - Part 5
Charles Vane x Original Female Character
The slow burn just might be heating up as these two disaster pirates find themselves in a Fake Marriage situation… with maybe a There Was Only One Bed thrown in for good measure. What can I say I write what I love.
Catch up on the start of the story with the links here
A/N: yes, you may find the opening scene feeling familiar. I did decide to include “Charles, Darling” as a part of Hope’s story. I hope you enjoy revisiting that that little moment and seeing what it turns into next.
“Watch your hands. She’s mine.” Captain Vane’s arm wraps tight around Hope’s waist, pulling her in snug against his body.
She bites her tongue, trying not to display either surprise or displeasure, and forces her furrowing brow to smooth. Is he really doing this right now? She hadn’t even known he was in this tavern. Although, while she fervently resents being rescued from a man’s advances in in such a demeaning fashion, it is also true that she had no idea how she was going to handle her current predicament without ruining everything by resorting to violence.
The man crowding Hope at the bar, a Mr. Fellows, takes half a step back. Vane is a bared saber all on his own, his very presence and dark look just as threatening as a pistol in one’s hand. Hope supposes this is one of those times that he is worth wielding, and she wraps her hand over his thick wrist at her waist. Sinking into him the way a relieved wife ought to, she pats the back of his hand. “There you are, Charles darling.” His breath catches at her term of endearment, and she figures he is trying not to laugh at her. “Calm yourself, I’ve barely been out of your sight for ten minutes! I know how you fret, but please, don’t take it out on this poor man.”
Keep reading
So far I have two fake marriages, two locked in a rooms, a huddling-for-warmth and one Pirate AU. I just adore this prompt list! The Vikings fans are trying to drag me back, but Vane’s Vanguard are in a close second.
I’m going to write SOMETHING for the next hour and we’ll see what muses come!
I sent you one outta left field and I’m not sorry.
Oh my God I loved it. I have to write it now just so I can post your hilarious message
Oh good ❤️ also I know it's very late, but I promise I will finish the fic of Bobo singing karaoke and then making out with OFC in the alley. I've even picked the song.
So far I have two fake marriages, two locked in a rooms, a huddling-for-warmth and one Pirate AU. I just adore this prompt list! The Vikings fans are trying to drag me back, but Vane’s Vanguard are in a close second.
I’m going to write SOMETHING for the next hour and we’ll see what muses come!
I sent you one outta left field and I'm not sorry.
Waitwaitwait, is this an actual, academic thing? XD
@ivarinleatherpants I am sad to report that is an affirmative: Introduction to Fairy Tales but no one told me that I’d be writing fairytales about Frozen OKAY
Just like... write a fairytale about Frozen but CLOSER to the original tales. You know. With the turning small children into cruel heartless beings that forget their best friends and weird roses.
If you were Quarentined with two of these Vikings... which two would you chose?? I’m likely late, likely already been done but oh well lmao
I’d take Uhtred and Ubbe for obvious stalking reasons!! Lol I’ll tag a few lol choose if you want!! I put Last Kingdom and Vikings people in there!!
@honestsycrets @equalstrashflavoredtrash @lol-haha-joke @whenimaunicorn @geekandbooknerd @lisinfleur @carlya65 @taytayize123 @captstefanbrandt @sparklemichele @ivaraddict @imgoldielikehawn @supernaturalvikingwhore @viking-raider @dangerousvikings @pokeasleepingsmaug @titty-teetee @crushed-pink-petals
I know I left some people off I’m slacking lol
Uhtred and Ragnar!! They'd be sure to keep me entertained on many, many levels...
... Rollo and Torvi. Rollo because whoooooooooo boy and Torvi because we can fuck off just the two of us for a bit if he gets in one of his moods.
OMG Billy's backstory brought tears to my eyes... The tenderness in my soul for him slightly tempered by the humor of realizing that girl wanted to climb him like a pole!! 😅
Billy deserves such good things. It’s my last remaining hope for the show. Please please please please for the love of all that’s fucking holy, let Billy Bones have nice things. Just like, give him a coconut and a beach chair and some soft tunes for the rest of his life. His - all things considered - good dude has been through the fucking mud. He’s the epitome of the saying ‘All that pain and misery… and loneliness… and it just made them kind.’
The last time I wanted something good to happen to a character, Flint choked him out and killed him so I’m scared. I’m so scared!
(You’re catching up to me!)
Dude I’m on the last episode of season 2 and I’m getting so scared for everyone!!! Eleanor needs rescuing again but this time Vane is rescuing someone else! And probably will never help her again!!! 😅
And every time Billy is on screen I want to shout “everyone shut up and listen to Billy, he knows what’s up” 😍
Mmm. Billy. >__>
I'm just... gonna sit over here with my knowledge.
50 Writing Prompts
These range from fluff to angst to humor. Some smut if you squint. Please include the character you’d like to see and feel free to do a couple numbers at a time. Anyone is welcome to share this list for their own writing! Characters I’m writing for are included in the tags :)
1: Are you going to say it or not?
2: That’s the LAST thing on my mind.
3: I wish things were different.
4: I say it ONE time, and I never hear the end of it!
5: Well, that wasn’t what I expected…
6: Again? Really?
7: This is the last time I’m telling you.
8: Do you want me to show you?
9: You idiot, you’re embarrassing me.
10: Well, it worked last time.
11: I regret nothing. Except for maybe this.
12: You’re not going anywhere.
13: After all of that? Yeah, I need a drink.
14: Hey, give me that!
15: You’re the craziest person I’ve ever met.
16: Is that weird? That’s weird, isn’t it?
17: Not the first time someone’s called me that.
18: Last time I tried that, I woke up on the floor. In somebody else’s house.
19: I’m not most people.
20: Do you think you could shut up for five seconds and let me explain?!
21: Don’t give me that look.
22: I promise it looks worse than it is.
23: Yeah, well, I like you, okay?
24: I’ve never met someone who makes me feel like this.
25: One more kiss?
26: I thought about you all day.
27: You’re stunning.
28: You don’t want to get involved with me. With…this.
29: You’re safe with me.
30: Can I kiss you?
31: I’m terrified of losing you.
32: I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
33: I want to love you, but I’m afraid.
34: Is this okay?
35: You’re kinda cute when you’re mad.
36: So when are you going to confess your undying love for me?
37: Everyone knows you’re into him/her/them. You’re not subtle.
38: What did they do to you?!
39: Would you just kiss me, already?
40: Stay with me. Please.
41: What did you just call me?
42: I’m going to marry her/him/them.
43: Alright, so I’ve decided that I’m never leaving you ever again.
44: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
45: Are you…flirting with me?
46: If you keep doing that, I’m not responsible for what happens.
47: You’re cold. Here.
48: Just wait ‘til we get home.
49: You’re wearing entirely too much clothing.
50: Let’s go to bed.
It’s a Friday. Haven’t done these in a while! I’ll take requests for our Vikings, Geralt, Kylo Ren, and hmm… let’s throw in The Mandolorian.
Hmmmm. Why don't... you guys send me some requests. I'll write Vikings (except any of the new stuff cause I haven't seen anything past the loss of Halfdan), Bobo Del Rey, Mandolorian, or you can just say "surprise me" and I'll make up some stuff from a random fandom.
Booty shorts that say goblin on the butt
@itsatru where do I buy these???
hey! you can get them HERE!! all designs are fully customizable, so feel tree to change colors or styles or products
all royalties earned are donated to AFSP - so far the shop has earned about $35! thanks everyone this has been really great :)
Hey since this post is making the rounds again, THIS version of the post right here has a purchase link!!!
@localfloorgoblin more sassy shorts
I can wear it with my shirt that says "goblin"
(smutgoblin here) As a birthday girl I would like to request Thor giving his girl a good birthday treat. ;) Puns and jokes are optional. Thank you for sharing your work with us!
Have it Your Way.
Author’s Note: Happy Birthday love!!!! @smutgoblin
Warnings: Birthday sex
Pairing: Thor x Reader
“Don’t take this off.” Thor laughed as he tightened the black blindfold. “I mean it woman.”
“I’m not!” You chuckled as his hands slid down to your stomach and his fingers playfully tickled you. “But you know I don’t like being blind. Hurry it along.”
“Take a seat and take the blindfold off once the music starts. Only then.” He guided you down to the chair, you presumably felt was in the middle of the living room. The new apartment you two had moved into barely had any furniture. It was just a mattress in the middle of the floor that was positioned directly in front of the bay windows.
The music starts just the small snaps of D’Angelo’s Untitled You pulled down the blindfold and there he is shirtless holding your hairbrush as a microphone. You busted into laughter and the smile on his face is priceless.
“Girl it’s only you…” He sung off key. He pointed at you and executed the perfect body roll... “Stop that laughing!” he growled as he wagged his finger. “Have it your way…”
You could not stop the small chuckles from escaping, you placed your hand over your mouth and he slid to you. He pushed your legs apart and placed himself between them. “And if you want… you can decide…” His dirty blonde hair fell to his face and you pushed it back from his face and his eyes met yours. “You’re not taking me seriously are you?”
You nodded your head. “You tried.”
“I did.” He gripped your thighs and buried his face between them. His teeth grazed your bare thigh and he hummed the song send a small vibration through you. “What do you want for your birthday huh? What does my girl want from the God of Thunder?”
“I can think of a few things.” You tugged at his hair and like it was nothing he lifted you from the chair and tossed you over his thigh.
“I hope they all end with you screaming beneath me, those were my plans.” he tossed you onto the mattress and pushed the shirt up your body. He started at the slope of your breast, kissing them and then your stomach until he made his way to the hill of your pussy. “Where should I start?” He dipped his head lower and pinched the the cotton of your panties between his teeth. He tugged at them and you helped get them off as you lifted your body from the mattress and he made it passed your feet and threw them to the corner. “How’d I do?”
“Amazing.”
“Good, I wanted to practice it first but I figured you might find it odd if I stripped someone else like this.”
“Just a little.”
Thor was back over you, his lips eagerly met yours as his hands traveled the landscape of your body. he caressed your arms, down to your fingertips. Yours met his and he pinned them above your head with one hand. The other strategically drug to your pussy. You were soaked for him. The arousal coursed through your body as he pushed his thick finger through your pillowed lips. He started slow. He pressed into your velvet walls and opened your legs further. “You’re soaking for me.” He whispered.
His voice seemed to provoke a response from you. He moved his finger in and out, curling, whirling and teasing you with each movement. “Thor.” you mewled and squirmed beneath him. Your body reacted in matching the rhythm of him. You thrust your pussy onto his fingers and he pushed another in. You were stretched. You swallow to catch yourself from falling into oblivion and then it’s gone. He took his fingers from you. “I don’t think I can’t wait any longer.”
“Then don’t.” You smiled.
Thor kicked out of his boxers and positioned himself over you. He tilted your body at the perfect angle before rubbing his swollen head over your clit. “You’re a goddess, you know that?”
“You think?”
He pushed into you, filling you to the hilt. “I fucking know.”
His thrusts were blunt and planned. Each one thoroughly executed to make you scream his name and it was all you could muster as the carnal lust overtook you. Your nail dug into his skin, only sliding through the mist of sweat that now covered you both. You were desperate to cum. You wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to pull him deeper into you and it worked. You were frantic, your breath ragged, eyes clenched close as your body raced to the glorious end which was right there. You came. Your body fell lax as the lovely sensation of cumming overtook you. This was some fucking birthday to remember.
Marvel Taglist: @taytayize123 | @isthat-tyra98 | @hexqueensupreme | @valynsia | @vibranium-soul | @suz-123 | @xostephanie | @wakanda-inspired | @marvelmaree | @disneysdarlingdiva | @patzammit | | @luci-her | @oceanscorazon | @ultracrii | @savismith | @itreywalk | @spicyatnight | @kashirenae92 | @letsshamelessqueen-m | @imgoldielikehawn | @sparklemichele | @rahjah-dat | @areubeingserved | @siren-queen03
Aww yeah. Birthday fun with a thunder god.
Thor smut requests anyone? Having a moment 😼
hooray
Surprise, surprise!
Hey guys!
This month I saved this sweet surprise for you all. Believe me, it was a surprise for me as well. I never thought it could happen someday and to have this content to offer you guys is really something impressive and almost unbelievable to me.
I have been working hard on edits and fictions all this time to provide the events from the “Uncrowned King’s Thursday” to the “5 Crowns Weekend” and, somehow, it filled my life with joy, so add this small interview as a part of this event - especially for THIS prince you all know is my favorite haha - is something very special and a huge gift. Maybe the hugest a fan could ever get from its idol.
Well, let me stop the rounds and rounds and tell you what this surprise is all about: dear David Lindström agreed in answering some questions for me to publish here, for you guys!
We all know our sweet bardic prince launched on July 12 the first single of his album to come, a beautiful song named “Autumn”. If you didn’t hear it yet, you’re losing a hit! However, I didn’t lose time and pre-saved my single and my chance to have this amazing content for you guys!
Enjoy!
Image source: Instagram (@dalindstrom, credits to the owner)
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You will definitely run into Bobo at the laundromat. Sitting there, reading an old magazine, only in his underwear. XD
((YES! I combined this answer with an equally ridiculous request from @localfloorgoblin; that reference image is at the bottom of the fic. Thanks to both of you for obliging me with ridiculous requests!! And now onto the Bobo Crack))
You hit “start” on the last of the four dryers you’ve claimed at the local laundromat, and jet for the door. You have exactly forty-two minutes before the first machine completes its cycle, and you are not spending that time waiting in this humid, noisy space with its ugly fluorescent lighting.
Usually, you’re able to time your excursion exactly, taking care of a few other errands around Purgatory before showing back up just in time to pop your fresh clothes from the first machine when it reaches completion. This time, however, there’s about a hundred people ahead of you in the grocery line, they don’t open up another lane, and you end up returning ten minutes behind schedule.
No big deal, you think to yourself, who steals laundry anyway?
You rush back over to the lane of dryers next to the far wall and stop in your tracks. There’s a man sitting in front of your four machines, and he is practically naked. You avert your eyes almost as soon as you take in a broad bare chest, tiny pink shorts, and one hairy foot crossed casually over a pale knee. He’s holding up a battered magazine in front of his face, so you’re hoping he hasn’t seen you. You don’t really want to deal with awkward eye contact.
Except… he’s in front of your machines. You peek at the timers on top; they all have forty-some-odd minutes to go. So his clothes are in there. Which means yours are…
You look back toward the man. Two details you had missed earlier pop out at you at once: the chairs on either side of him are piled with your wrinkling clothing, and the top of the head peeking out above the magazine’s crumpled edges is sporting a very distinctive dark mohawk cut.
Shit shit shit. Bobo Del Rey has your clothes. A very naked Bobo has your clothes. “What are you doing?” you blurt without thinking.
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I regret nothing in suggesting those shorts to you. Also I may or may not be buying a pair for myself.
I... I might be writing fic again soon. Returning to my Sigurd story but also... other fandoms. Notably Stranger Things. I might need to yell with someone about a very dumb fic idea I have.
An Hour In My Trailer - Bobo Del Rey Smut
Fandom: Wynonna Earp Rating: Explicit - only read if you’re 18+ Characters: Bobo del Rey x OFC Warnings: coercion/dubcon; mild humiliation
Summary: Bobo’s willing to give the Earp crew the clue they need to find the latest revenant: in exchange for an hour alone with him in his trailer. Set somewhere around the middle of season one.
It was going about as well as these things ever do. Standing inside Bobo Del Rey’s cluttered and grimy trailer park, our exit was now blocked by a cluster of menacing revenants. They were held at bay only by our pistols, and by the fact that we had been granted safe passage in here “just to talk.” That parlay had lasted all of three minutes before Wynonna had pulled Peacemaker and pointed it right at Bobo’s leering face.
Bobo showed her his palms, raising his hands in only a mockery of fear. “Wynonna,” he chided, shaking his head like he was utterly disappointed in her, “I thought you said the only thing you came here to exchange was words.”
“Yeah, well I just ran out of words,” she retorted, with a click of Peacemaker’s hammer. A bluff, of course. There was no way she could land a shot on Bobo when he could see it coming, and we all knew that. The gesture was only a sign of her frustration.
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Omg 😭 I loved the build up! The tension was killing me and Bobo forcing her to admit to anything was completely gratifying
A) I knew that was your kink, and
B) I totally headcanon that Bobo craves that validation. He’s not going to just let her attraction to him stay secret… He’s gotta revel in that part
A Future With You (5)
Sigurd x OC ● 4671 words
Bloom // The Paper Kites
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
@lupy22 @romanchronicles @happydaysandersen @oddsnendsfanfics @kenzieam @lisinfleur @hvitserksgirl
It’s time y’all. I’ve written you all a special kiss scene (Sigurd and Brana’s first!) as an apology for how long this has taken. I really hope you enjoy this chapter.
Sigurd found it impossible to avoid thinking about Brana. The villagers had already talked of her before Dagny’s disappearance, but now the witch was their main topic. All week he overheard gossip about how she’d used her powers to save the child. They gossiped about his contribution too, of course. How Prince Sigurd must be so strong to lift child and witch out of the well together, and so kind to carry the lost child home. The praise pleased him and he enjoyed the attention it brought from the ladies of Kattegat. The stories that came after the praise were the problem.
Every time someone brought up the rescue, another person chimed in with a different story about Brana. It seemed like every person in town had either been helped by her or knew someone who had. Tale after tale of her kindness, generosity, and talent. Everyone believed she was just so wonderful and gods damned perfect. Sigurd doubted she was perfect, but he was beginning to believe she might be a good person. Even if she was a Volva.
“You’d like her if you gave her a chance Sigurd,” Ubbe said one morning. He’d caught Sigurd scowling after Hvitserk, who’d left the hall claiming that Brana was lovelier company than any of his brothers.
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