(sfw) cw: hints at rivalry, mentions of substances, weed consumption, fem implied reader, girly dolly reader, quiet suguru
suguru couldn't escape your name. it was truly unescapable. you two almost became rivals without even knowing each other. why was this?
well. . . because of weed of course!
both of you were known for selling some good shit. the college campus stayed arguing on who is the real goat; a hot topic of conversation during exam season.
when college stress became prevalent, so did your signature pink baggies.
you revelled in walking through the campus and seeing the cutesy stickers you package only for the girls (& satoru when he secretly betrays his bestie) plastered on the back of macbooks in your classes just because you knew suguru would be heated.
you guys hadn't met in person, you had just heard his sexy voice in the background during satoru's secret phone call purchases.
but this was soon about to change.
♡´･ᴗ･♡――――――♡´･ᴗ･♡
you never really attended house parties, for the simple fact that you had better things to do. despite being a regular smoker and the stereotypes that follow, you are a very ambitious woman; this is how the whole thing started. among your green selling side hustle, you also created personalised press-on nails & worked a part-time job.
but here you are. sat in the corner of the couch in your pink ruffle shirt 'n the matching white ruffle mini skirt. you sat with your purse in your hands, caressing your long side-part as you smoke from your cherry flavoured blunt.
there you listened to the (classic) faneto by chief keef blasting throughout the house along with the voices screaming along with the words.
this was far from the chill party satoru promised. . .
"damn, look who actually showed up!" you heard from the back of the couch. before you were able to turn to face to recognisable voice, the white haired man sat closely next to you.
"space?" you questioned as you exhaled your smoke.
as soon as the words left your mouth he seemed to scootch up closer.
"you know. . ." satoru began laughing, "suguru was the one who kept pressing me to invite you"
quickly, you began coughing after inhaling, holding your right freshly manicured hand to your chest.
"huh?"
"i'm telling you, those pink packets are getting to himmmm" he trailed off. "anyways, lemme have some?" he spoke grabbing the blunt before even finishing asking.
usually you'd snatch it right back but you sat there silently dumbfounded. the fuck does the man want to see me for?
♡´･ᴗ･♡――――――♡´･ᴗ･♡
as time passed sipping henny zoning out of satoru's whiny voice, constantly rambling about nonsense, you didn't notice the presence behind you.
"ayeeee that's my man!" satoru's voice raised as he leaned forward dapping up the presence behind you.
the deep mumble of acknowledgement made your stomach turn (automatically knowing who it was) you turned and faced the onyx-haired man behind you.
he stood tall, around the same height as satoru. his presence however seemed way more intimidating, almost alluring. he had a dark aura surrounding him, heavily contrasting with your bubbly pink vibe.
suguru was known for being very quiet, almost a loner amongst his friendship group. he was known for being the plug that did little talking but provided good shit.
again . . . the complete opposite to you.
it felt absurd. after being aware of each others existence for about a year without a physical meeting.
suguru sported a black hoodie and baggy jean combo, you could see his tats peaking through the neck up behind his ears which were currently semi-hidden by his half-up-half-down hairstyle.
you were looking at him shamelessly.
him on the other hand - he his low red eyes were analysing you with what seemed like forced nonchallance. inside he was freaking out.
the truth was he had been observing your multiple pages (insta, tiktok etc.) for months probably about a year of when he first heard your name.
seeing you in person felt like an out-of-body experience. him seeing you in a set he had watched you post about in one of your tiktok hauls felt wrong.
he felt like a real stalker.
a whistle broke the tense atmosphere.
"damn who would've known" satoru spoke, slinging his arms over both of your shoulders whilst standing between you.
suguru kissed his teeth, flashing his low smile highlighting a silver cap on his teeth.
"so you're the doll stealing my clients huh?"
my first fic eek ! lmk if u guys want a pt 2, pls be patient with me bby's ❤︎
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it was obvious when this started, it was simply a mutual understanding between two horny college students that didn’t want any random stds that this was a purely sexual relationship only.
but even so, sukuna doesn’t think he’s in the wrong for acting the way he does.
hell, even you don’t realize it.
how would you know that after taking a shower in the morning, sukuna steps out and notices one of the pledges standing at the entrance to his room, staring at your completely naked form fast asleep on his bed.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing!” sukuna has his tatted forearm pressing against the kid’s neck shoving him into the wall, crimson eyes ablaze.
“I-i was just asked to call you down, please! I’m sorry!”
sukuna pressed even harder, ready to rip the boy’s head off, before he hears you stir in his bed. “don’t fucking look her again. you hear me?” his low threat sent obvious shivers down the pledges spine as he nodded frantically, and with a final shove into the hallway wall, sukuna backed off, slamming his door behind him, rattling the entire house.
the loud slam of the door had you stirring. rolling to your side exposing yourself more, but now for sukuna only. the bed dipped as a warm firm hand brushed your bare side giving it a squeeze. “ryo…” you mutter, voice hoarse with sleep as he hums.
“you can stay here till your class,” he answers your unasked question. you mutter something incoherent before falling back asleep, letting his hands continue caressing your back and hips, kissing your shoulder.
even during frat parties, it was a given that you’d show up simply because you wanted to be near the man. easily finding him in the crowd after a long day of classes and work. unbothered how underdressed you are, you find him sitting with his legs spread on the couches outside with his group, and you easily slip into his lap no questions asked.
his rough hands find your waist under your hoodie, letting your lips meet his, body pressing closer to his as his hand held your nape, controlling the messy kiss. his brothers would laugh, because it was obvious how down bad he was for you, without even realizing it. and just like every time before, the group would disperse to leave you and sukuna making out heavily on the couches outside. you would lazily dry hump his big bulge, for comfort, sighing and moaning as it rubbed up against your clothes, until he’d get fed up and carry you upstairs.
how much more obvious could it be when you’d call him in the middle of the night during one of the frats pledge meetings, complaining that you couldn’t sleep and he’d ditch his roll as vice president of the frat, ignoring gojo’s groans because he’d be at your door within twenty minutes max.
your moans fill the apartment as his cock stretched your dripping pussy so beautifully, pistoning back in, watching your back arch for him letting his cock go deeper and harder.
the bulging veins of his cock brushing against your gummy walls as you’d moan so deliciously. he’d kiss and bite your shoulder. thumbing your clit as his pace would pick up, fucking you into the mattress letting it soak your tears and drool until you’d cum with a loud cry. body trembling, eyes full of tears.
your hands would be lazy as they reached out for him until his face was nuzzling your shoulder, before you’d whisper a soft, “harder.”
and he’s groan every time. grip bruising on your waist, planting a foot into your mattress before slamming his entire body weight with each thrust from behind. your body would lurch forward, gripping the sheets crying as you’d wiggle your ass back into him.
“fuckin needy slut,” he’d grunt out, slapping a harsh hand against your ass making you moan louder. “haah ya think anyone else can deal with you?” he’d start rambling, groaning when you’d squeeze him tighter. “you’d scare them away with your stamina.”
your moans were music to his ears. his chest and neck flushed, as he’d smirk with each deep thrust.
“ryo! angh—harder!” you’d cry out, lips covered in spit and tears. “angh haah yes yes—ryo—“
“fhuck!” he’d shove you into a deeper arch, his propped leg propelling his fat cock rougher, bruising your insides with every mean sharp thrust, leaving you shaking and crying.
“like getting fucked like a slut, haah” his voice would drop lower the closer he got.
your body would squirm, but never stop him even when the overstimulation had you babbling like an idiot and the only thing remotely coherent was his name on your pretty tongue.
“ryo haah angh fhuck—haah!”
his stomach would turn with flustered delight everytime he heard the stupid nickname. it was different coming from your sweet voice. his core tightening up as your cheek pressed into the mattress, eyes glossy with tears he desperately liked being the reason of.
“gun’ let me cum in this pussy?” he’d pant, “fuck all my cum in ya so you can sleep like a bratty fhuck-k’in princess, mmh.”
you always got dumb on sukuna’s cock, his words fueling the euphoria as you’d babble out pleads. “cum—ryo—m’m cumming please.”
a deep throaty groan slips past his lips as you tighten around him, coating his base in more cum, the frothy white mess at his base creating sticky webs connecting to your ass as he continued fucking deep into your spasming hole. “tell me ya want my cum, princess.” he’d grunt out slamming into you as you’re shaking and crying. “cmon baby, let me fill your belly.” you moan a little louder tightening even more, knocking the wind out of him. “christ—you’re so fucking hot—“ he groans. until you’re finally able to speak.
“yes! haah cum inside me, please! angh ryo!—“
and he’d cum hard every fucking time. his body shivering as he spilled loads inside your squelching cunt. eyes rolled back, thrusts sloppy as his cum spilled around his cock with every lazy thrust, bottoming out fully, his body shivering every time, arm wrapping under you as his sweaty chest stuck to your back. his hand splashed on your belly feeling his warm cum fill you up. you could still feel his cock twitching inside you as you milked him dry.
his lips would part, an exhale rocking his body, as he pulls out. glancing at the way his heavy cock would slip our covered in your mixed arousal, his hairy base a sticky mess. his cum would ooze out of your little hole. fuck, he loves cumming inside you. he kneads your bruised ass, pulling your cheeks apart watching the globs of cum trickle down your pussy. thumb generously toying with your clit as he hugged you from the back. your legs eventually giving out just as his bulky body fell to his side, exhaling again.
it was like this everytime.
completely winded and out of breath as he’d look to his side and stare at your blissed out face cuddling into the blanket, snuggling up against his warm body, leg tossed over his thigh, neither of you bothering to clean up and falling asleep. his arm would lazily drape around you, sighing as he pulled the covers over you both, passing out right after.
and maybe you both should’ve addressed how oddly gentle he is with you. especially when he spotted you sitting with your friends on the courtyard, and took long strides before coming up behind you, hand coming up to your chin. your lips curl up into a lazy grin when you see him above you, and your own cheeks flush as his lips come down.
he hums, delighted, as you kiss him back, he pulls back, glancing at your sweet expression before he pecks your glossy soft lips with another kiss, and one more before standing back to his full height. “everything okay?” he asks, not realizing how much weight that question actually carries, because you just hum casually, ignoring the odd feeling that twists in your gut at how soft he’s being.
“kay’ I’ll see ya later tonight, ya?”
you nod again, unbothered when he gives you his usual wink. glancing briefly at his broad back retreating before turning to your friends. utahime’s jaw was slightly agape and shoko was staring inquisitively at you over her coffee cup.
your brow quirks up, what?”
“what d’you mean what? what was that?” utahime was wide eyed and confused, she looks at shoko. “is this what you were talking about?”
shoko hums, and your expression shifts to more confusion. “told you.”
“I wasn’t expecting that, you guys are actually dating,” she says it like a statement before turning to you, “you are right? dating?”
your eyes are wide in shock, shaking your head as a laugh slips out, a real laugh. “we are not dating, how many time do I have to tell you guys.”
“you’re dating,” shoko says firmly.
“we just have sex,” you clarify.
“that wasn’t sex right now. that isn’t something sukuna does, his personality is definitely not like that from what I’ve heard and seen, and it’s not something people that just have sex do,” utahime explains, and you could only look at them skeptically, trying to see if they’re fucking with you, but eventually you just sigh, shaking your head.
“he probably just got out of his lecture, and his brain is fried,” you explain, almost desperate to rationalize why he kissed you in public like that, and so softly at that, but not realizing that he’s actually done this multiple times.
in fact…he’s been doing it almost every time he sees you on campus…
“ryo,” you mutter into his back arms circling around his firm torso as he pours another shot for you both.
he hums, turning around in your arms, throwing back the shot with a hiss. pleasantly buzzed.
“ryo,” you call him again, arms still around his waist, chin pressed against his firm pecs, eyes doting up at him waiting for his full attention, but he takes it as an invitation to peck your lips.
“you’re so cute.”
your cheeks sting. because he pecks you again, a lazy smile brightening his flushed cheeks, crimson gaze low and inviting.
“ryo, you can’t—“ but you stop yourself. you don’t want to say it. you can’t kiss me like that. were not dating. because if you say it then things might change. meaning he’ll probably realize and stop kissing you like that. or realize that maybe you guys are crossing a line, and pull back. maybe it was fine being like this. it was fine just being sex buddies, that don’t fully act like it sometimes, because that would be better than not having it at all. and not having this side of sukuna would be much worse.
“you drunk already,” he snorts, brushing your chin with his thumb. “thought you weren’t a light weight anymore,” he teases, canines peaking out.
“I’m not,” you scoff, but either way he decides to take your shot too, slamming the glass on the counter, before grabbing your chin and kissing you.
you don’t argue, you never did. you kiss him back every time, moaning the same when he slips his tongue into your mouth, lifting you on the kitchen counter. neither of you bothering to stop in the middle of the party as he stands between your legs, passionately kissing. your arms wrapped securely around his neck as he holds your waist, humming in delight when you bite his lip, tugging it with a smirk.
because it doesn’t matter how many times you both clarify to yourselves and to others that this is purely about sex. he’ll still find a way to claim you in public. letting your soft whines fill the air around the party as he kissed and bit your neck before he’s fucking you fast and rough in his bedroom upstairs. smiling every time his fat cock gives a mean thrust that leaves you crying for more.
“cmon, I can’t hear ya, princess. who’s messy pussy s’this?” sukuna is pounding into you, your body folded as his muscles flex above you, keeping his hips going at a fast pace, balls smacking your ass with every thrust. “crying like a little bitch, tell me who’s fuckin’ you this’good, haah?”
“you! ryo—ah haah you ma-ah-ke me feel soo good, angh!” your tears fill your vision, sweat glistening over your tits as the headboard continues slamming into the wall with every thrust.
a pathetic groan slips past his lips, one that you’ve gotten used too whenever you clench around him while kissing his ear. his body shivers, face pressing into your neck as he continues fucking deeper. your nails scratching down his back, yours arching off the mattress.
your loud moans and the thumping of the bed against the wall was not going unheard. but gojo and the other boys now used to this every party, eventually came to terms with it and found ways to liven up the party downstairs. but other guests were definitely flustered by the overflowing sounds of strong passion coming from upstairs, it scared many from approaching either of you.
especially when you’d be completely out of breath and shivering as sukuna would drudge back downstairs shirtless to grab you some water. the party still going as he passes through the crowd to get to the kitchen, his sweats hang dangerously low on his hips, the deep v-line catching people’s attention along his sweaty happy trail that disappears into the waistband. gojo would snort at him, sipping from his beer as he eyes sukuna’s fresh scratches that litter his back. sukuna unbothered would comb a hand lazily through his hair as he grabbed the water.
he smelled of sex, musk, and you, ignoring everyone that eyed him and flushed because he definitely had that post-nut glow, his cheeks stained a light pink as he thought about you waiting in bed naked for him. and as he made his way back upstairs, he ignored the blushing women because once he entered his room he was met with his spoiled pillow princess casually laying in his bed, laying on her side as she scrolled through her phone. he passes you the water, as you sit up.
“a thank you would be nice,” he snorts, sitting beside you, watching you longingly as you sipped from the bottle.
“thanks,” you exhale, smirking when he gives you a wink, leaning in, inhaling your scent s he kissed the marks he’d left on your neck.
and maybe that was the point.
it didn’t matter to sukuna that he stopped getting approached by women. hell, he barely even noticed since most of his thoughts were consumed by school or you. he didn’t need frivolous conversations with random women.
why would he even entertain the idea when he’s walking on campus and sees the most breathtaking girl lazing around the sunny courtyard sprawled on the grass, head propped up by his hoodie that she stole that morning. her pretty lashes kissing her cheek, relaxed under the warm sun, before its broken by a light weight caging her, and a familiar pair of lips kissing her lips.
the sweet hum of delight coming from you, has him soaring, chest ablaze as he hums back, tongue finding yours before eventually pulling away. his crimson eyes always intruding but never unwanted as he memorizes your soft expression. your tongue licking the excess spit he lift on your glossy lips as you smile lazily at him.
“pleasant way to wake up, eh sleeping beauty?” he teases, always full of himself.
you shrug casually, eyes flicking up meeting his. “i was relaxing before my class, so technically you interrupted that.”
he snorts, rolling off you unbothered, sighing once his muscular back hit the grass, tattooed face being kissed by the sun. it was comfortable. it always is with you.
he hums once you lean over him, pecking his lips. he smiles lazy, almost proving his point that you both can never have enough of each other. the pecks are soft, gentle, intimate. they carried more than either of you were letting on. and yet…
his hand brushes your waist, smiling once you rest your pretty head on his shoulder, relaxing against him until your next class.
and maybe any of these moments could’ve been an opportunity to clarify this relationship. but neither of you wanted to risk the chances of it backfiring.
so you both remained like this.
well until you’re forced to address this in the future….and maybe that’s a story for another day…
bc y did I write this drabble tryna get into writing short quick fics but now I’m attached to this story and wanna make it a long ass one-shot 🙂↕️ sue me for loving a lil plot✊
an old lady sitting at the next table looks over, appalled at the nature (and volume) of the question your best friend geto has asked you in the otherwise silent restaurant.
"oh my god, suguru," you hiss, giving the cranky old lady an apologetic smile before leaning over the table and scowling at your best friend. "you're still an asshole, right?"
"obviously," suguru shrugs. "i'm just asking."
"for your information, i'm not," you swat his hand away when his chopsticks reach into your bowl of ramen for your egg. "i met a tall, rich, sexy man and he ravished me allll night long. i still can't feel my legs."
suguru blinks at you, and then his shoulders start shaking with laughter. he ducks his head down and cups his hand over his mouth, he's that amused.
"what? don't believe me?" you smile back, ducking down to peek at the look on his face.
"ravished," he finally catches his breath, looking up at you with a wide grin. "you really do read too much of that weird porn. plus, if you did get 'ravished', you'd have that look on your face."
your chopsticks freeze halfway to your mouth. "what look?"
"you know," suguru reaches over again to steal your egg, this time faster than you can stop him, "after you cum, you have this dumb looking smile on your face for the entire day after. either you're a horrible liar, or this rich sexy man couldn't rock your world like i did."
"geto!" you gawk, glancing over to the cranky old lady who is already staring right back at you, wrinkled lips pursed. suguru is smiling when you look back at him, and you're stuck between slapping him for being so lewd, or for calling what he did to you 'rocking your world'. "shut. up."
"suguru," he corrects. "you're too shy. it's like you've forgotten that i know you're a huge fucking pervert?"
"i'm not—"
you're cut off by the old lady coughing very pointedly. you wince and look back at geto. "let's just go."
"wait wait," he starts shovelling his food down. "let me finish this."
the walk home is one that the two of you are familiar with. before life got busier, you used to walk this way almost every evening. suguru and you would share an earbud each and fight over who got to queue up the next song, just to end up pausing the music to focus on whatever benign conversation would spark between you.
suguru would walk you home, make you laugh by pretending to go in for a goodbye kiss at the door, and then act horribly offended when you'd slam the door in his face instead. every single time. without fail.
"you know," you look up at him. "we've still never kissed."
geto scrunches his nose up, glancing down at you as you walk side-by-side. his lips are still shiny with the broth from his ramen, because he is apparently still a child and doesn't know how to wipe his mouth. not with food, not with you...
"sure we have," he says. "what about that time after graduating that we played blind spin-the-bottle? we kissed then."
"oh, that was satoru," you muse. "i just took his place when he took the blindfold off you. remember? you complimented me on my 'sweet lips'? all him, baby."
suguru stops, and you try not to laugh at the awful sound of his shoes scuffing the pavement. "you're fucking with me."
"i'm not!"
"you are always fucking with me," he laughs, taking slow steps towards you that quicken with each step you take away. "c'mere. i'll fucking spank you."
you're running, trying to stifle your laughs as to not lose your breath. "and i'm the pervert?!"
he chases you all the way home, though you half resent him for making you run the length of your journey. with those fucking legs of his he could have caught and carried you home a solid three seconds into the chase.
at the door to your apartment, the two of you catch your breath. suguru's chest heaves up and down, and you're very suddenly reminded of just how winded he got the other week when you had the length of his cock in your mouth.
"thanks for lunch," he grins, though he was the one to beg you to come and eat with him. and the one to pay. "i forgive you for lying to me about your virginity."
you roll your eyes. "i think we traumatised that old woman."
"this one?" suguru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small piece of paper, handing it to you. "i think she wants a piece of what you got."
you unfold the paper to reveal a phone number written in slanted lettering. well goddamn. the old lady was giving you the look because she wanted suguru. fitting.
"you should call her," you say, pushing the number back into his chest.
"ah, so you're saying i've still got it?"
you snort. "you never had it."
"hey. i could totally rock her world."
"you could rock her hip replacement out of joint, maybe."
that earns you a laugh, which makes you laugh as well. the two of you say your goodbyes and, as per tradition, suguru puckers his lips up and makes a show of going in for a goodbye kiss.
though this time, for some reason you can't even pretend is lost on you, you don't slam the door in his face. you lean up, cup your best friends face in your hands, and meet his lips half way.
it's a perfect first kiss, really. his lips feel different against your own than they do between your legs. this time he's tentative in comparison to messy and hungry and yes, he still tastes like broth.
for a man always so ready to receive, he takes a long while to kiss you back. it worries you, even, makes you wonder if all of this building tension between the two of you had truly been just for fun.
but then he catches up, and lifts his hands to your waists and leans in so far that your arching back to avoid getting consumed whole by the starved man. you've never been kissed like this, like you're a smooth liquor with a dangerously high risk of addiction. something that doesn't taste too strong. that you could drink and drink and not realise the world is spinning around you.
you love it.
"i want it," suguru says as he pulls back, just enough to look you in the eyes. it's nice seeing all of his face like this, with his long hair pulled back.
"want what?" you scrunch up your nose. "my virginity?"
"no," suguru shakes his head, nearly clipping your nose with his, and then stops. "well, yes. holy shit, yes, more than anything—but no. this, idiot. i want this."
you look down to his hand which is gesturing wildly between the two of you. "...yeah? really?"
"really," he nods. "i think i hate being your friend."
"wow, i'm hurt."
"i'm serious."
you blink. "you're serious."
"dead serious," he looks between your eyes. "do you want it? ...me?"
you do. god, you do. you think you've known it since before all of this began, but to hear geto say it out loud, without using it as a joke or game or stupid line he'll tease you for falling for later makes your chest tight and sore.
you laugh, because thats your most natural state with him, and nod. "a little, yeah."
"a little," he parrots, smiling. you're only graced with the sight for a second though, as he's quick to lean in and press his lips to yours again.
this kiss is deeper. impossibly hungrier than the last, and you think if they only get better with time that you're going to grow old very fucking spoilt. he steps you backwards into your apartment and kicks the door shut behind him, not parting his lips from yours for even a second.
it feels a little cliche, sure, being walked right to the bedroom from the door. you're sure you've read this exact scenario a million times before in those eroticas that suguru teases you for, and part of you wonders if he's trying to emulate them for you, but you couldn't care less. few things in your life have ever felt as right as being with geto.
he's already hard, you can feel his tenting pants pressing against your lower stomach as he kisses you. it's only emphasised when he pushes you gently back onto your bed, and has you wrap your legs around his clothed waist. the weight and heat of his restricted erection against your pussy is enough to make you gasp.
you've held his cock before, tasted it, stroked it to completion and licked the cum clean from its length. but feeling it like this, pressing against your clit... you might go crazy. you understand the 'overwhelming need' you've read so much about now.
he's leaning over your body to kiss you again, licking over your bottom lip before pressing his tongue into your mouth. you can't tell if you're grinding against him, or he's grinding against you, but a newfound friction down south has you gasping into his awaiting mouth.
such ministrations go on for what you feel could both be an hour or ten seconds. your mind is so blurry and hot with need that you're lost to all concepts of time and space. he's got both of your tops off, and is working on his pants when he seems to reach a moment of clarity and suddenly stalls.
you glance down to where his thumb breaks the seal of his waistband. god you love that fucking happy trail of his, snaking down to his cock that is just aching to spring free and fill you...
"look at me."
you glance up at his firm tone, and meet his intense gaze. his pretty eyes are staring into yours, more serious than you've ever seen them. "i want this," he starts, half-breathless. "but i only want this on your terms. tell me what you want, pretty. i can use my mouth, or my fingers, or we can stay like this. we could stop, even."
you start to shake your head, but he takes your chin between two fingers and has you hold his gaze as he continues.
"i'd feel privileged to wait for this. and i will, for as long as you need me to. i have no expectations of you. never have. i tease you, i know, but i never fucking thought i'd actually get to have you like this. so, if you aren't ready, neither am i."
suguru makes it hard for you to tease him sometimes. your idiot of a best-friend-turned-lover, for all the stupid shit he says, has these beautiful moments of sincerity that oftentimes make you want to cry.
"i've been ready, i think," you say. "maybe not for just anyone, but if you'd asked at any point before this, i would have said yes. as long as its you."
"you're sure?" geto presses his forehead to yours. "say it out loud."
"i'm sure. i want this, and i want you. and i'll let you know if that changes and i want to stop."
"good," he presses a kiss to each corner of your mouth. "good."
in his back pocket is his wallet. and in his wallet, alongside the old lady's number and a polaroid of the two of you is one condom. he fishes his cock out of his pants and rolls the latex on to the achingly hard length.
you half expect him to fuck you there and then, but instead he dips a hand down to toy with you a little. he rubs circles over your clit until you're lax and writhing, and then stretches you open on two, and then three, of his fingers.
once you're practically begging for it, suguru presses a kiss to your nose, and then leans down to whisper in your ear. "when i first tasted you, i said you wouldn't be able to take me."
you feel his tip running up and down your folds, from clit to entrance, and then back up. "i know," you sigh, locking your ankles behind his back and closing your eyes.
"you wanna prove me wrong?" he nuzzles the side of your face. "we can make a bet. if you take all of me, i'll buy dinner."
"you'll buy dinner anyways," you smile, kissing his shoulder. the gesture makes him shudder.
"mm, true. if you lose, then, you have to let me read some more of that nasty porn on your phone."
you grimace. no matter how soft he is with you, suguru will never stop teasing you. "deal."
"deal."
a kiss to your neck, and then your jaw, and finally your lips, pulls a smile to your face. suguru holds himself over you, revels in the closeness of your bodies, and has you look him in the eyes as he pushes just his tip into you.
and there goes his ability to tease the intactness of your virginity. you gasp as you feel yourself stretching to accomodate him, hardly an inch deep inside of you and you're starting to thin the world might end if he ever pulls out.
he stills just for a moment, watching as your eyes flutter shut and you catch your lip between your teeth. "okay?"
you nod, and he pushes in further. bit by bit, stopping to kiss your face, or rub distracting circles on your clit, until the subtle pain that comes with being so full starts to morph into pleasure and suguru is once again whispering in your ear.
"you win."
your eyes open, and the already fucked-out expression on his face makes you smile. glancing down, you find the two of you connected completely, and you're suddenly very aware of the capacity to which he's inside of you.
you feel split open. in a good way. if that's possible.
"you're big," you say.
"yeah?"
"yeah," you nod. "don't let it get to your head."
"too late," suguru smiles. "can i move?"
you close your eyes once again, savour the feeling of him fully inside of you for a moment longer, and then nod.
the bliss that follows is full-body. he's slow to start, dragging his cock out of you in a slow burn, just to thrust forwards and fill you to the brim all over again. it has you moaning incoherently, which only seems to spur suguru on into a more consistent pace.
you like sex with him, you conclude, and you're pretty sure he likes it with you, too. if the sweet sounds from his lips aren't indicative enough of his enjoyment, the way his hips are already stuttering towards a release certainly is.
"close?" you ask.
"no," suguru lies, moving his hands down to hold your hips. he increases his pace a little, pushing you further up onto the bed with each now-harsh thrust.
god, you've never been so overwhelmed. the pleasure that suguru can pull from you is unmatched. you couldn't emulate this with fingers or toys or even his mouth—this is a unique pleasure that far surpasses your stomach and feeds instead into every conceivable inch of your body.
your nails dig into his shoulders, leaving half-moon marks that you want to run your tongue over again and again. he's looking down at you, mapping your face out with his eyes like you're some sort of painting to be dissected and ogled at for years to come.
he fucks you mean, and dotes on you at the same time. "so pretty," he calls you. "so fucking tight, too. gonna be the only one to ever feel you like this, okay?"
"that's presumptuous," you start to joke, but are quickly cut off by an intense and near-blinding pleasure when suguru starts hitting a very specific spot inside of you. yeah, you're done for.
"you like that?" he groans, only speeding up and adding two fingers n your clit to bolster your pleasure. "yeah you do, shit, you're tightening up on me so much. gonna come with me?"
you can feel his dick twitching inside of you, much like it did in your hand after you'd taken him in your throat. you wonder how it'd feel without the latex barrier, to have his release flood your insides... claimed in that primal way you might think cringeworthy once this is all over.
you're close nonetheless, rolling your hips up to meet each thrust of suguru's cock inside of you. he's perfect, and you find yourself saying just that as your orgasms build and build and crash over the two of you like treacherous waves on the beach.
who knew dick made you so poetic.
he meets your orgasm with a kiss, cumming into the condom as you squeeze him tighter than ever. tongue pushing into your mouth, he fills you in more ways than one, not stopping his movements until you're shaking and whining into his mouth for some mercy.
his forehead rests against yours as you both come back down to earth. your breathing syncs, deep laboured breaths shared between you—body and breath and pleasure. you've always shared everything with each other, huh?
"good?" is all suguru can say. you can only answer with a nod—good is an understatement. you might have a new vice.
he starts to pull out, nice and slow, and you're already grieving the sensation of feeling so full when he stills, his tip still inside of you.
you look down to meet his gaze, this stupid knowing smirk on his face. "there it is," he says.
"what?"
"that smile you get," he smiles. "now what was that fucking word you used? oh, that's right."
"huh? what are you doing, idiot?" you furrow your brows as he pushes your thighs back into what might be the start of a mating press.
"in your own words? i'm going to ravish you, baby."
synopsis: toji fushiguro, your sleazy drug dealer, has never been subtle- always touchy, always cocky. but you never gave him the time of day, because he'd only ever served one purpose in your life: good weed. but as time goes by, you're not exactly sure when you started feeling like you needed something else from him too.
contents: drug use (weed lmao), fingering, titty fucking, p in v, degradation!!, some praise, unsafe sex-do not do this, spit kink kinda, toji is gross and crass, but he fucks u good at least, porn w plot basically
a/n: this is a oneshot for a shared jjk frat au with @prosypepper - ty to my lovely peps for doing this idea with me :3 - her part will be tagged here once it's up ! pics from pinterest, not sure where the art is from :< if anyone knows pls lmk so i can give creds
7k words - 18+ mdni
toji fushiguro is a bum. simple as that. he never goes to class, turns in assignments whenever he feels like it, and if there's a group project, his partners already know not to expect anything from him. but it's okay, because hey, C's get degrees, isn't that right? and he's not worried about getting straight A's when there's better things to do, which for him, means selling and smoking weed, playing video games with his roommate, and jacking off or fucking whatever poor girl he could get into his room.
that's pretty much his daily routine. wake up, maybe bullshit an assignment, roll up and smoke, make some deliveries, hit the bong, order doordash, watch porn, go to bed, repeat. and he has zero intentions of straying from that routine. so yeah, toji is a loser. but he also has the best weed, and everyone on campus knows that— yourself included.
and that's why, every weekend, when your pack is running low, toji's the one you text saying you need to re-up. he always responds quickly, asking how much and when he can come by. and you'll tell him the usual: a quad of whatever his favorite strain is at the time, and that he can come by whenever.
you don't even need to wait for his "here" text. you can hear his clunky car from down the street, engine revving loud, like it's fighting for its life just to keep the piece of shit moving at 30 mph. and that's when you slide on your slippers and head outside, because he never gets out. no, he makes you get in the vehicle, with stained cloth seats and a million black-ice car fresheners hanging from the mirror which do nothing to cover the smell of fast food and weed.
"can't turn this baby off, might not start up again, y'know?" he'd said. you just shrugged and got in.
and you quickly learned then that toji isn't just a loser, but he's also a perv. nothing crazy, but he's the kind of porn-addicted fratboy that's always sneaking a hand on your thigh when you sit down in the passenger seat, leaning too close when he talks to you, eyes lingering shamelessly on your chest when you wear a tank top.
and tonight, when you get in his car, it's no different. he's quick to slide a hand over the plush of your thigh, squeezing lightly as he mutters a, "hey doll."
you pick his hand up and drop it back on his lap, rolling your eyes. "hi toji. you got my weed?"
he just chuckles at you, "of course. you got my money?"
"of course." you hand him the bills and wait while he counts.
"you're short $10."
you shoot him a skeptical glance— you're sure it was all there. "i gave you $45, count again."
he does, in front of you, and lo and behold, there's only $35. you're about to apologize and tell him you can run up inside to get another $10 for him when he opens his mouth again.
"you can pay me another way, if ya want," he drawls lazily, a grimy smirk on his face.
you honestly should have known he'd say something stupid like that, but still, your mouth falls open in disbelief at the sheer audacity. "shut up, toji. i have another $10 inside."
he clicks his tongue at you, a whisper of irritation seeping through his facade. "whatever, it's cool. just throw that in next time."
"alright," you mutter as you grab the weed and reach for the rickety door handle.
when you get back inside, you grab the bong, open your baggie and get to work packing a fresh bowl. you light it, inhaling, exhaling the familiar musky taste. a soft haze settles over you already as you get ready to light your second hit. yeah, toji has good weed.
30 minutes later, you're still on the couch, futurama playing in the background on the tv but you're not really watching. your thoughts have strayed back to your dealer. you can't stop thinking about him, which unfortunately happens a lot when you get high.
he's weird, and you'd never date him— he isn't 'boyfriend material.' he has no direction in his life, not even toward the bathroom it seems, since he always smells strong of body odor under the scent of smoke and axe body spray. and he didn't dress well, always in sweats, hoodie pulled up over his greasy hair. but still… there was something about him. maybe it was the way he carried himself. or the fact that beneath the patchy facial hair and oily skin he had sharp features, the kind that make you do a double take when you pass by him. and his voice, the baritone, the teasing lilt that never leaves it—
you shake your head, trying to expel every last thought inside it.
you do not think toji fushiguro is hot. he's sleazy and gross and definitely not someone you want to get involved with any more than you are now.
next week, like clockwork, you text him. for weed of course. and an hour later you hear his car, slide on your slippers, and grab the cash off the counter. you can see his eyes on you as you get close, trailing up and down your figure, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as you open the door and slip into your seat.
"lookin' good, doll." his hand finds its perch on your knee, thumb rubbing half of a circle before you swat it away.
"in your dreams, toji."
"then give me the money so i can get home and go to sleep."
that pulls a soft laugh from you as you hand the $55 over. he counts it, then looks up at your with a disapproving look.
"tryin' to short me again?"
"i literally counted it twice before i came out here," you refute in disbelief.
"you're missin' the money from last week," he says, counting for you again. and unfortunately, he's right, and the bills only add up to $45.
"how's that possible?"
he just shrugs. "so you gonna pay next week? or… you wanna make it up to me now?"
"you're so stupid," you scoff, "i'll get it next week."
he flashes you a cocky grin, "sure, sweetheart."
with a huff, you get out and shut the door behind you.
you're bouncing your knee as you smoke, trying to get rid of the tingling sensation in it that won't go away, as you mull over your recent interactions with toji. it doesn't make sense— you're certain this time that you had the right amount.
maybe a bill fell from your hands on the way to the car? it's unlikely. other than that, you only have one theory.
the following week, you triple check the money before you leave the house. and still, when you get in the car and hand it over, toji claims you're missing the extra $10.
"check again. i know i gave it to you."
so he counts again, showing you the money, and it only adds up to $45. you're feeling more confident about your theory now.
"empty your pockets."
he hesitates for a split second. "why?"
"i know you took my fuckin' money."
there's another beat of hesitation, like he's weighing whether or not he can still get away with it. but finally, he just sighs, pulling a crumpled bill out of his pocket and handing it back to you. you're not sure why it's coming as a shock, knowing him, but still. he stole from you, lied about it, made you feel crazy for two weeks, and all for what? because he wanted some pussy.
you narrow your eyes at him, lips pursed. "you're a fucking perv, y'know that?" you poke your finger into his chest, voice raising, "i'm not going to fuck you. get that through your thick skull. you're a disgusting thief, and a liar, and—"
—and while you're scolding him he has the audacity to stare at your tits, the corners of his lips tugging into a sly smile, the apex of his boxers starting to rise. you snatch your hand away like he burned you, anger morphing back into disbelief. he is completely and utterly shameless. without another word you grab the weed and get out, slamming the door behind you.
later that night, you sit on the couch and open the baggie, body moving on autopilot as you pack the bong, beginning your weekend ritual. and like every other time, your thoughts stray away from whatever show you threw on the tv. and like every other time, they drift to your dealer.
unbelievable. that's what toji was. he probably thought he was real clever too, swiping your money to try and get what he really wants from you, thinking you'd never find out. you scoff, muttering to yourself about his ministrations, how much you dislike him, how much, despite all that, you still can't stop fucking thinking about him.
it's not a big deal, you reason with yourself. it's normal to think about him a lot, considering you see him every week. and you're smoking his weed, so it's like a constant reminder. that's all it is.
it's also definitely normal and not a big deal when you head to your room because the longer you think about him and his infuriating face, the size of the tent in his pants, the more your core starts to burn. there's an unwelcome wetness pooling between your thighs, and you tried to ignore it, really, but you can't anymore.
you're not sure when exactly you stopped seeing him as the greasy bum who just sells you good weed, but when you picture him now, it's not his stained clothes or unwashed hair, but his crooked grin, deep green eyes as he looks at you. your hand drifts to your thigh, eyes sliding shut as you envision that it's not your hand, no, it's the weight of his— a weight you know all too well. fingertips dancing along your skin, your touch drifts higher, slipping beneath the hem of your shorts. you tug aside your panties, the way you imagine he would, and you slip two fingers into your aching cunt with ease.
the next few weeks go by relatively smoothly. you spend your time busy with homework, hanging with friends, ignoring any thoughts about toji, or masturbating, or how you think about toji whenever you masturbate now.
and toji's still forward as ever, which doesn't help. but at least he isn't stealing from you. still, each time you try to hand him your money he stops you first, the hand on your thigh giving you a soft squeeze, fingers splaying out.
"you can still pay another way, y'know," he says, quirking an eyebrow at you, teasing.
the glint in his eyes brings a heat to your face, a swirling sense of shame to your stomach. he's a gross pervert, you remind yourself. but then what did that make you? since you're the one fingering yourself in the darkness of your room, all alone, hand clasped over your mouth to muffle your moans as you picture him touching you.
"so you've told me. have a good night, toji."
"be safe, doll."
you try to hide the minuscule upturn of the corners of your lips as you turn to head back inside. he always uses that stupid nickname, and it's annoying, but damn does it roll off of his tongue nicely.
next week, you text toji. he's there an hour later. you slide on your slippers, and head outside. but when you open door to his car you pause.
gone are the baggy hoodies, instead replaced with a tight compression shirt. it's bunched up around his abdomen, giving you a clear view of his waist, the hem of his briefs showing from under his grey sweatpants. he's still got one arm up gripping the steering wheel, bulging muscles flexing. your eyes trail the veins in his hand up his arm as you gingerly slide into the passenger seat.
you had theorized that he was probably hiding some muscles under all the layers, but this was far from what you expected. he was ripped. to put it lightly. you shut the door behind you, trapping you inside the car with him, and he's much too close. you can smell him, the intoxicating scent of sweat, weed, and mint gum overpowering you.
"you uh…" you trail off, not exactly sure where the sentence was even going.
toji's looking at you expectantly. "hm?"
"…you changed."
he huffs out a laugh, "just came from the gym."
"o-oh, nice."
he's smirking now, the hand that was on the wheel coming to sit behind your headrest as he turns toward you. you can smell him stronger now, the odor filling your nose and clouding your thoughts.
"you got my money?"
you're not sure what possessed you when you slip a five from your hand back into your pocket before handing the bills to him— but you're going to blame pheromones or some shit, considering the effect he's having on you right now.
toji thumbs through the change before his eyes cut up to yours. "you're missin' $5."
"am i?"
"yeah. so…" he leans in over the center console, head tilting to the side as his eyes roam over your figure. "gonna pay me next week? or tonight?"
you don't answer with words this time. instead, your hands move to grip the edge of your tank top, pulling it up to your chin, and letting your breasts fall out.
and for the first time ever, toji shuts up. he's got this stupid look on his face, mouth opening and closing like a fish, eyes slightly wide, and you can tell he was not expecting you to do that. but he recovers quickly, expression morphing into one of amusement.
"damn, sweetheart, you got a nice rack."
ever the gentleman.
toji uses the headrest to pull himself closer, free hand reaching forward and resting on your hip. his tongue slides out, swiping along his lower lip and your eyes can't help but trace his movements. toji rubs his thumb against your skin, fingertips digging slightly into your flesh as he drags your hips towards him. his gaze flickers between your lips, your eyes, your tits, like he can't decide which part of your body deserves his attention.
your hands move slowly, crossing the short distance between the two of you, and resting on his nape. you push any lingering feelings of hesitation out of your mind and tug him towards you. toji's lips meet yours hungrily, moving in sync, tongue already pressing its way between your lips. you part for him, opening your mouth for the slick muscle to meet yours.
the hand on your seat moves to your chest to palm at your tits. rough fingertips pinch your nipples, tweaking and tugging gently, making you moan into toji's mouth. the heat in the car between you is stifling, suffocating, as you lose yourself in him. the smell of his musk is overwhelming, his hair is still damp with sweat from the gym, and you can taste the last joint he smoked on his tongue. his hands roam, pawing at you with desperation, like he's been waiting months just to touch you (he has). toji grabs at your thighs, your waist, your neck, but he always returns to your tits.
toji's hands splay out across your chest as he pushes you back until you're resting against the door and he's leaning over you and the center console. his mouth moves to your jaw and down to your neck, leaving a trail of saliva in its wake as he presses a series of sloppy kisses to your skin.
you let your head rest against the window, eyes sliding shut so you can focus on him. the way his wet kisses feel against your pulse point, the way his breath is fanning against you, and his hands are groping at you. your breathing gets heavier, fading into panting as your fingers card through his hair, your hips bucking up into nothing, until a hand comes down to cup your sex. he's palming at you through your shorts, letting you grind against him, and he can feel your heat, the way the flimsy fabric is already damp.
"fuckin' wet already," he mumbles against your skin as soft, wet lips latch onto one of your nipples, a stark contrast to the calloused hand playing with the other.
you moan softly in response, the sound sweet as honey when it reaches toji's ears.
"so hot," he rasps. his fingers hook into your shorts, into your panties, tugging them harshly to the side, "damn shorts in the way."
a breathy laugh falls from your lips, but it's cut off by a moan when he slides two thick fingers into your cunt without warning.
"a-ah, toji!"
"mmm?" he hums around your nipple, mouth already back on your tits, tongue swirling around each bud.
he pumps his fingers in and out of your wet cunt slowly, curling each time he pushes them back in, pressing against the soft spot inside you that makes you keen. you're rolling your hips, trying to get more from him, and he's happy to give you everything.
your breath gets caught in your throat when he presses the heel of his palm against you, finally giving you something to grind down on again. each movement nudges your aching clit against his rough skin, leaving you panting, clamping down around his fingers.
"thaaat's it," toji groans, pulling back.
he drinks in the sight of you, flushed and sweaty, bare chest heaving, now covered in purple blotches, as your glistening pussy swallows his fingers.
"c'mon," he grunts, moving faster. he's fingering you sloppy, messy, your arousal coating his fingers, dripping onto his knuckles. "go on n' soak the seat, doll."
"toji, toji, f-fuck—," you're babbling, like each thrust of his fingers is punching the words right out of your throat before you can form a coherent sentence.
"so fuckin' loud. does it feel that good?" he asks, mockingly, pinching your nipple and making you yelp.
"f-feels sooo good," you mewl, looking up at him with desperate, eyes.
"always actin' like you didn't want me. thought you were a prude or somethin'," he muses, talking more to himself than you, "except now you're humping my hand like a needy slut," he chuckles, deep and low in his chest. "shoulda known."
"'m not a—aah- a slut," you whimper, but it just makes him laugh harder. because despite your weak protest you're grinding down harder, chasing your release as you feel the fire in your core burning brighter— toji's touches, his words, acting like kindling.
"sure, doll."
when you finally cum it's loud, a symphony of curses and moans bubbling up from your chest. it's harsh, your back arching off the car door and hands flying to toji's biceps, nails digging into his skin. and it's wet. your cum leaking down, dribbling onto the hem of your shorts and the already stained cloth of the seat beneath you.
"there ya go…," toji groans, "god, i've been wantin' to see that."
"fuck," you breathe as toji pulls his hand out of you with a slick sound that makes him smirk and you roll your eyes. he wipes his hand quickly on his sweats before palming at his bulge, shamelessly adjusting his hard-on.
you follow his motions with tired eyes, to the tent in his pants. if you squint, you think you might be able to literally see it throbbing underneath the fabric. his hand comes back up to his face, rubbing his chin with a look of feigned contemplation, then moving to slowly scratch at his patchy mustache. you hear a soft sniff under the sound of chief keef playing through his blown-out speakers. he lingers a moment, his own gaze trailing over you one more time before he speaks.
"so uhh, you gonna invite me up, or what?"
that earns him a deadpan look.
"no, i think i'm good." you say, shaking your head lightly as you grab the weed and exit the car before he can utter another chivalrous word.
when you get inside you don't even turn on the tv, packing the bowl in silence, needing to just smoke and go to bed. you had enough action for the night. there's a faint pang of embarrassment in your chest as you lay on the couch. you'd let toji, of all people, finger you in his car, of all places. it wasn't exactly the type of thing you wanted to go around advertising, but at the same time… did it really matter that much?
it's not like anyone had to know about it. none of your friends talk to him, so unless you told them they wouldn't find out. you don't think they'd really care, but it would save you an awkward conversation, since they've heard you complain about him more times than once.
as your haze settles over your head like a thick cloud, you find it hard to keep contemplating your dilemma, your feelings being pulled toward a zone of indifference. and over the following week, those feelings about the situation with toji start to solidify, taking root and giving you more confidence about giving in to the side of you that wants to see him again.
so when the weekend rolls around, you text him, saying you need a re-up. you clean your room while you wait for him to reply, which is actually just throwing dirty laundry in the closet and making your bed, and then you hear your phone buzz.
it's toji's contact.
sure. car's in the shop, can u pick up?
you're honestly surprised his car has gone this long without needing to be in the shop. so you tell him it's fine, he's delivered more times than you can count anyways, and never nags about gas money.
i'm at a sig, u can park in the back. lmk when ur here
he's never mentioned before that he's in a frat. but then again, it's not like you two are friends, you don't even talk when you're not buying.
you touch up your makeup quickly before changing into another set of pajamas. a fitted tank top and a soft pair of shorts that barely cover your ass and ride up when you walk, and a new lacy pair of panties— just in case. you throw on a sweatshirt over it all before grabbing your purse and heading out the door.
you're waiting in the parking lot for a few minutes before the back door is pushed open, light spilling into the lot, toji's figure making its way towards you. rolling down the window as he approaches, cold air from outside flows in, making you shiver through your thin layers.
he rests a hand on top of the car, bending down to look at you through the window. his eyes glide down your body, lingering on where your bare thighs are pressed together, then back up to meet your steady gaze.
he nods his head back toward the house. "weed's in my room. c'mon, doll."
you turn off the car, jogging lightly to catch up with toji, who already turned back to head inside. and once you step through the doorway, every instinct inside your body tells you to turn and run. the outside is cute, an old vintage home that the university had converted into a house for greek life. the inside is a different story. a combination of chipped paint on the walls and heartbreakingly stained hardwood floors, a pile of red solo cups in the corner and a broken beer-pong table. not to mention it smells like there's a leaking pipe somewhere that no one cares to get fixed.
you move on autopilot, eyes taking in your surroundings as you follow toji deeper into the house, up a flight of creaking stairs. you can hear a muffled kevin gates song playing from behind the door at the top of the stairs, and for a split second you find yourself hoping that's not toji's room. it's not. he leads you down the hall to the room at the end, and when he pushes the door open you think you know where the source of the leak is.
you're hit with an odor wall of smoke and mildew, clothes are spilling out of the closet and there's a singular lamp in the corner of the room next to a bean bag and a safe. his bed is across the room, a mattress on the floor, no bed frame, but at least he has sheets you rationalize. toji flops down in the bean bag before telling you to 'make yourself at home' which earns him a side eye as you sit on the mattress. you're watching him closely as he opens the safe, pulling out a big bag of weed, a box of small baggies, and a scale.
"is this, like, all you do?"
"sell weed?" he asks, shooting you a glance. "because i do more than that, sweetheart."
you ignore the way your stomach flips, just like you ignore the stale smell of his sheets when you move to lay on your stomach. "doesn't seem like it. you always text back right away when i message you."
"that's cause i have my phone on me."
"but then you always come over right after," you muse, "doesn't seem like you're very busy."
his eyes flicker up to yours again. "never too busy for you, sweetheart."
you scoff, like that didn't make your stomach turn again. "bet you say that to every girl you sell to."
"i'm sayin' it to you now, though," he says lowly, tossing the newly weighed baggie of weed aside and crossing the room.
"whatever," you mumble.
toji's in front of you now, towering over you. you move again to sit up on your knees as his hand comes to your chin, gripping it between his thumb and index finger. he tilts your head back for you to look up at him, and your tongue darts out to wet your lips, pulling his gaze down.
he drags his thumb across your lips, "gonna pay me another way, tonight?" he breathes. and open your mouth, ever so slightly— an answer for him, which he responds to by pushing his thumb slowly between your teeth.
his own mouth is parted, soft pants falling from it that become heavier when you close your lips around his thumb, sucking on the digit as he presses down on your tongue.
"fuck," toji groans softly, "that's a good girl."
he pushes his thumb back deeper before pulling it all the way out with a soft pop! he smears your saliva around your lips and tugs the bottom one down gently.
the look in your eyes as your gaze up at him, so desperate, the feeling of your hot mouth around his thumb— he's already hard, cock aching between his legs as he imagines your mouth around it instead. your hands reach for his waistband and he lets you tug his pants down, leaving him in his boxers. you palm at his bulge through the fabric, slow and teasing. he feels big. but ever the impatient one, toji's hand comes to rest on the back of your head with a low groan from him.
"go on, it doesn't bite."
"you're so fucking annoying." you glare at him but he just laughs.
"i'm also really fucking hard right now, so…"
your eyes narrow further but you bite back your retort. instead, you pull his boxers down, finally freeing his stiff cock— and being met with it now is doing nothing to ease your nerves. it's as big as you'd imagined, maybe thicker, riddled with veins, and an angry red tip that's oozing drops of translucent precum. you swallow loudly as you size it up, a hand coming to wrap around the base before letting your tongue loll out and licking a long, slow stripe up the shaft. your hand follows your mouth up to the tip, squeezing tighter under the head as you lap at the salty pre dribbling out from his slit.
"quit teasin'," toji grunts above you, the hand on your head pressing harder, urging you to take him into your mouth.
you pull back, giving him a warning look for pressuring you. "so impatient," you scold as you move to strip off your sweatshirt.
the crease in his brows irons out as he watches you discard the baggy piece of clothing, leaving you in a thin top, with no bra on. he can see right down your cleavage, ogling shamelessly as you press your tits together when you bring both hands back to his dick this time. saliva pools in your mouth and you let a thick glob of it drip down onto his tip, watching as it slides slowly down the shaft and onto your fingers.
toji's panting heavy, green eyes locked on your figure as you stroke him slowly, hands twisting and squeezing together. he brings a hand to his head, pushing his hair out of his eyes, the other returning to its spot on the back of your scalp. he grips lightly, careful not to push you again.
"suck it f'me, lemme feel your throat, baby," he rasps, patting your head gently.
you part your lips, hands coming to rest at his base as you take the tip into your mouth. tongue flicking against the frenulum, you suck gently, earning a deep groan from toji.
"keep goin'."
you listen, pushing further, letting him stretch out your mouth. veins dragging along your flat tongue as you take him, inch by inch, deeper into your throat until you gag when he hits the back.
"too big?" he coos, but it's not sincere, since he's back holding your head down, choking you on his dick.
your hands move to his thighs, fingernails digging into the skin but not pushing away— you're determined to take him, to train your throat until you can fit every bit of his length inside your hot mouth. breathing through your nose, tears prick your eyes as you look up at toji through your lashes and fuck, he could cum down your pretty throat right now. mascara starting to smudge in your waterline, eyes red and wet, his cock shoved between your lips.
"think you look best like this," he mutters, hand pulling you slowly back off of him as you cough and sputter, "with my dick fillin' that slutty mouth."
you don't give him the chance to push you back down— the minute you feel the soft mushroom tip on your tongue, you're sinking onto him once more. you take him faster, bobbing your head, up and down. you're gagging each time he bruises the back of your throat, and there's a lewd suction sound each time you hollow your cheeks.
"fuuuck— ngh- just like that," toji groans loudly, letting you work him over. "baby, you're a pro."
his eyes slide shut, head falling back as he lets a series of grunts and curses fall from him. he's wanted to feel your bratty mouth on his cock for so fucking long and it's so much better than he imagined. all those times he jacked off, stiff cock in hand, pumping himself as he watched some video of another dude getting sucked off— he imagined it was you, licking him, stroking him. but nothing, nothing, compared to this right now.
slippery tongue swirling around the tip each time you pull up before flattening, gliding back down, licking along the vein on the underside of his shaft. hollow cheeks sucking him tight. the sloppy sounds coming from you are obscene and he doesn't have to watch to know there's drool trickling out the corners of your mouth— messy bitch.
and then you take it away. mouth sliding off of him completely as you sit there for a moment, panting, staring up at him with teary eyes. there's a tick in his jaw, head snapping forward to look back down at you again, stoic expression on his face.
"why'd you stop?"
"my jaw hurts," you pout, wiping at some of the mascara that's starting to smudge under your eyes.
"and? my dick hurts. you're blue ballin' me," he complains, hands coming to fold across his broad chest.
you roll your eyes, "that's a myth."
"nah i saw people talkin' about it on reddit— plus it hurts right now."
"shut up," you say flatly, as you tug off your tank top since you know he won't listen to your words. but he's finally quiet as you let your breasts fall out, giving him another look at them.
"there's those perfect tits." he brings a hand back to stroke your head affectionately. "you should let me fuck 'em," he laughs.
he's honestly half expecting you to say no with the way you're looking at him, he can tell he's pushing your limits. but then your hands come to cup your chest, pushing your tits together for him.
"attagirl."
he spits in his hand and pumps his cock a few times, though it's already so wet he didn't even need to, and then he's lining himself up between your cleavage. he thrusts gently at first, testing the waters, and when he feels the soft, plush tissue wrapped around his length he can't hold back. your pressing tighter around him, snug and warm as he fucks himself up between your tits.
you gather your spit in your mouth once more, looking down at where his cockhead is poking out each time he pushes his hips forward, and you spit down. the spit lands on its target, coating the tip and your skin around it, mixing with your old saliva and his precum that's been smeared around his dick already.
"god, you're so—fuck- fuckin' hot."
toji can feel his cock aching, throbbing, with your tits around him. it feels so good, you look so good, he wants to cum so badly. but if he does he knows he won't make it another round and he needs to feel your pussy tonight too. so he keeps fucking into your chest, over and over, all grunts and groans until he's at that edge, at the point where he really doesn't want to stop— no, he wants to see what you look like with his cum painting your tits and your neck. would it get on your face too? your lips? fuck— he wants to know so bad, but he can't.
instead he slides out entirely. chest heaving, jaw locked and tense as he rips himself away from his high.
"shit. that was close," he pants. "almost came."
you let your tits fall, looking up at him once more as he tries to regain his composure at least a little bit. you shift in your seat, rubbing your knees together. your panties are clinging to your sex, already drenched with your arousal to the point where it's uncomfortable.
"tojiii," you whine.
"yeah, yeah, i know." he brushes you off. "turn around."
you shuffle on your knees until you're facing the wall behind you, propped up on all fours. two large hands come to grip your ass, squeezing tightly. he grabs your shorts, bunching them together and tugging them taut against your cunt, the motion pushing you forward slightly. a soft gasp falls from your lips as he rocks your hips backs and forth lightly, underwear and shorts rubbing tight against your clit.
"actually," he muses, "you look better like this— on your hands and knees f'me."
"toji, please," you mewl, swaying your hips.
"needy slut," he mocks, bringing a hand down sharply against the swell of your ass. you yelp, a dull stinging spreading across your skin and a tingling low in your stomach.
but finally, he's sliding your shorts and panties over your hips and down your thighs before tugging them off your legs and throwing them across the room. a hand smooths up your spine and pressed your head harshly into the mattress, forcing a deep arch.
you can feel the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance, the shaft sliding between your puffy folds.
"god, are you always this wet? or you just love sucking my dick that much?"
"condom, toj—aah!" he cuts you off, slipping just the head inside your leaking pussy.
"doesn't feel as good. you on birth control?"
"y-yeah, but—"
"so it's all good," he reasons, pushing himself further. the stretch stings deliciously, clouding your mind as another moan is pulled from your sore throat. "doesn't that feel good, baby?"
"'s sooo good," you whimper, hands balling into fists in the sheets.
he pulls his hips back, his shaft dragging slowly along your slick, gummy walls, and fuck, it feels like you're trying to not let him go.
"fuckin' relax," he grits out, jaw clenched. "gonna make me cum."
"'m trying," you whine, but you only clench harder when his hands dig into the flesh on your ass again.
"so tight," he snaps his hips forward, sheathing himself in one thrust. you cry out, muffled as he pushes your face deeper into the mattress.
and then he's relentless. drilling in and out of you without warning, your body sliding forward and backward each time he buries himself to the hilt and then pulls himself back out of you. fingernails digging into your supple skin, he's dragging your hips back to meet each cruel thrust.
"fuck! toji—" you cry out, "i can't, toji, i can't."
he's practically splitting you open. each time he shoves his length back inside your tight, warm cunt it feels like you're taking him for the first time again.
"quit bitchin' and take it. know you can, doll," he grunts.
"'s too much…" you whine, tears forming again in your eyes, mascara starting to stain your cheeks and the sheets under your face, as they fall. "toji, more, i c-can't—" you babble, making less and less sense as he ruts into you.
"poor thing, fucked stupid aah-already?" he pants, delivering a hard smack to your ass. "'s okay, sluts don' need to think— fuck, baby, you're tight."
you can feel the coil in your core winding tighter, the arch letting his cock bully that sweet spot inside you over, and over again, and his words are only taking you higher. no one's fucked you like this before— you weren't prepared for it, for someone who was such a loser to be so good at fucking you senseless. but here you are, ass stinging, face wet from drool and tears, reduced to nothing but a whimpering mess that can't form a coherent thought— a mess that'll let him do and say whatever he wants as long as he keeps going.
"d-don't stop! fuck!" each word's a broken sob as you feel yourself about to snap.
"yes! fuck— 'm cumming, 'm cumming—" you ramble, slurring a string of nonsense as your orgasm finally crashes over you. your legs are shaking, eyes screwed shut, as your cunt gushes around toji, creamy, white slick spreading along his shaft, pooling at the base as he keeps fucking into you, chasing his own release.
and the minute your cunt stops fluttering around him, he's pushing you off him, hand coming to grip his length and pumping himself quickly, harshly, so he doesn't lose his high. you're in a daze, feeling a hand still holding your hips up as hot spurts of cum coat your lower back, toji groaning loud and low behind you.
"god damn," he breathes, patting your ass. "lemme get a rag."
you finally let your legs fall, laying limp on the mattress as you wait for toji, who just picks up the first shirt he finds on the ground and uses it to clean you up. grumbling, you roll over to find your phone and check the time. it's definitely time for you to get home.
"pass me my shit," you mumble lazily. moments later you're hit in the face with your clothes, a little snicker coming from beside you. "thanks."
when you're both dressed again, he tosses you the weed and you catch it easily, following him as he starts leading you back out. the bedroom door unlocks with a soft click, creaking as he pulls it open. the kevin gates is gone, the hallway doused in silence instead, and the bedroom door that the music was coming from is cracked open, light spilling out.
as you get close, a head peeks out briefly before a large man swings the door open entirely. he's huge. bigger than toji even, his figure filling the space in the doorframe. he's got tattoos littering his face, which has a smug expression on it— you know enough to know it's ryomen sukuna, someone else you definitely wouldn't want to get involved with.
"what's up," toji calls out casually.
"you finally fuck her?" he drawls, "this is the one you've been talkin' about right?"
your mouth hangs open. you thought toji was bad, but he might honestly be worse.
"yeah man, was like a hot dog in a hallway." never mind. toji's worse.
and now they're both laughing, low and condescending, like they're the funniest people in the world. you have half a mind to slap them both across the face but, unfortunately, you like consistently good weed more than the satisfaction of one good hit.
"right…" you start slowly, burning glare drifting between the two simpletons. "what happened to," your voice drops, "nghhh so tight, baby," you exaggerate, copying toji.
sukuna's wheezing now, gripping his stomach as toji finally shuts up. he's silent for a few moments before he turns and starts heading down the stairs, mumbling a little, "i don't sound like that," which just makes you and sukuna share a quick glance.
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🜼 ⋆ Summary: You, Princess of the Empire of Japan, find a boy standing in the ruins of his village — his hands stained with the blood of the bandits who took his family. moved by something you can’t explain, you bring him back to the palace. though distant and cold at first, he grows into your fiercest protector, eventually earning his place as your most trusted royal guard. but just as he begins to understand his feelings for you, a tragedy strikes — rebel attack wiping out the whole royal family in a single night. as blood soaks the halls, suguru has only one purpose: to find you… and get you out alive.
🜼 ⋆ Pairing: royal guard! suguru x princess! reader
🜼 ⋆ Tags: TW: blood, mentions of dead bodies, historical fantasy, angst, enemies to lovers, historical setting (edo period), slow burn, possessive & protective love, princess x guard, forbidden relationship, first love, childhood to adulthood, coming of age.
🜼 ⋆ wc: 3.5k
divivers by: @/cursed-carmine and @/hyuneskkami !!
<< part 1 — there is two options at the end!!
You heard them approaching your room.
Boots. A low chuckle. The soft rasp of a blade being drawn.
When they emerged from the shadows, you knew instantly they did not belong here. Dark-worn armor, hair bound with strips of cloth dyed the color of dried blood, eyes carrying that wild glint of someone who had crossed the borderlands too many times to be welcome anywhere.
One stepped forward. His face was lean, weather-bitten, the corner of his mouth lifted in something between a sneer and a smile.
“So this is the little jewel the emperor hides,” he said, voice curling around each word like smoke.
You couldn’t move. The walls were behind you, cold and unyielding. Your fingers searched for the edge of your sleeves — a habit from childhood — something to hold onto, something to keep you steady. But there was nothing steady in this moment.
The man raised his blade. Your heart clenched against your ribs. You thought — absurdly — of the garden in spring, of the scent of plum blossoms, of how you would never see them again.
And then, the air broke.
A shadow swept into the space between you and them. Steel sang against steel in a sharp, ringing cry.
Suguru.
He moved like water rushing down a mountainside, swift and precise. You caught the brief flash of his profile — hair loosened from its tie, eyes narrowed with that impossible focus you had seen only once before, the day he had sworn to protect you.
They rushed him, but he was faster. A pivot, a sweep of his blade, and the first man staggered back, clutching a wound he had no time to understand.
Suguru’s shoulder rolled, his arm arcing — and in that moment, you saw it: a blade catching him from behind. The sound he made was small, just a breath drawn too sharply, but the crimson that blossomed across his back was impossible to ignore.
You wanted to call out. You wanted to reach him.
But he did not falter.
He pushed forward, every strike deliberate, almost cruel in its efficiency. The hall echoed with the wet thud of bodies hitting the floor. Soon, only the rustle of his breathing remained.
And then, his hand was on yours. Warm. Strong. Unyielding.
“Come,” he said, voice rough, already moving before you could answer.
You let him pull you. His steps were long, purposeful, dragging you through the twisting veins of the palace, past empty gardens that smelled faintly of rain. The night air met you at a side gate, cold and wet against your flushed cheeks.
You didn’t know where you were going. You only knew you couldn't let go of his hand.
The forest took you in without ceremony, earth soft beneath your feet. Suguru kept moving, but the rhythm of his steps was changing. The weight in his hand grew heavier, his shoulders drooped ever so slightly.
He was bleeding. Too much.
Each step seemed to take something from him. You could hear his breath now, louder than before, and every few strides, it caught in his chest. You wanted to tell him to stop. To rest. But the stubborn set of his jaw made the words stick in your throat.
And then, he slowed.
Not all at once — just enough for you to notice. His head tilted forward, as if the air had grown too heavy to hold it up. His fingers loosened on yours, not out of choice but out of exhaustion.
When he finally stopped, it was in a small clearing, the grass wet under the moon. He took a step toward the center, then another, before his knees bent as though the earth itself had called him down.
He lowered himself onto the grass, one hand pressing into the wound at his back. His knuckles were pale, but still he looked around — scanning the trees, listening for movement.
You knelt in front of him, voice breaking as you said his name.
His eyes found yours. Dark. Sharp. And yet, there was something else now — a tiredness, yes, but also something softer.
“Stay… close,” he murmured, and you heard the effort it took just to form the words.
Your hands hovered before finally pressing over his wound. The heat of his blood seeped into your palms, the metallic scent biting at your senses.
You could feel his body tremble beneath your touch.
The night pressed close around you, the damp air heavy with the scent of pine and earth. Suguru’s weight had gone slack against the grass, the tension in his hand — the one that had gripped yours like a lifeline — slipping away.
“Suguru—”
No answer.
You leaned in, panic burning up your spine. His lashes rested against his cheek, his breath shallow, almost silent. Your heart began to pound with the sharp, hollow fear that if you looked away, even for a moment, you might never see those eyes open again.
He’s not gone. He can’t be gone.
Your hands were clumsy on his shoulder, trying to shift him enough to see the wound. The blood was everywhere — dark and wet under moonlight, slicking your fingers. You bit back a sob and forced yourself to think.
There was nothing. No bandages. No medicine. Only you, your hands, and the thin layers of silk and cotton clinging to your body.
You didn’t even hesitate.
Your fingers went to the seam of your outer robe, tearing until the fabric gave with a whisper and then a rip. Strips of pale cloth fell into your lap, some smeared with his blood already. You pressed them to the wound, wincing at the low sound he made even in unconsciousness.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, over and over, as if the words could soften the pain. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, but you kept pressing, wrapping, knotting the makeshift bandages until the flow slowed from a hot, steady stream to a stubborn seep.
And all the while, you thought about the way he had stepped between you and death without a moment’s pause. About the look in his eyes in the hall — not just duty, but something deeper.
The thought that you might never hear his voice again was unbearable.
At some point, your head dropped forward, forehead brushing his arm. The exhaustion hit you in waves, but you stayed there, listening to the faint beat of his heart beneath the damp fabric of his robes.
Then — a sound.
A breath, drawn a little deeper than the others.
You lifted your head so quickly your neck ached. His eyes opened, slow and dazed, as if he was dragging himself back from some far-off shore.
“…You’re—” His voice was rough, barely formed.
“I’m here.” You swallowed hard, forcing your tone steady. “You fainted. I—I patched you up.” You gestured at the uneven, knotted bandages that wrapped across his back and shoulder. The white was already blotched with red, but less than before.
His gaze shifted, taking in the strips of cloth — the torn edges that matched your robe. Something unreadable passed through his expression.
“You—” He tried to push himself up, but you put a hand to his chest, firm but gentle.
“Don’t move. You’ve lost too much blood already.”
For a moment, he just looked at you. And then, faintly, a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips — not mocking, not amused, but touched in a way you couldn’t quite name.
“You shouldn’t… have done this,” he murmured, eyes slipping closed again, though you could tell he wasn’t unconscious this time.
“And you shouldn’t have thrown yourself between me and them,” you said, voice trembling despite yourself.
Silence. Only the sound of the wind through the pines.
“…Fair,” he whispered at last.
His body was heavy beneath your hands — not dead weight, but something close enough to send panic fluttering in your chest again. The forest air felt colder now, biting at your damp sleeves, and the thought of staying in the open all night made your stomach knot.
You glanced around, the moonlight spilling only in pieces through the canopy. Branches swayed above, whispering in a language you couldn’t understand.
“There has to be something…” Your voice was quiet, more to yourself than to him.
Suguru stirred faintly under your touch. “We… can’t stay here,” he rasped, though it sounded less like an order and more like a shared truth.
The thought of moving him made your throat tighten — every step might tear the wound open again — but you couldn’t argue. So you slipped your arm beneath his, bracing his side.
“On three,” you murmured, not sure if he even had the strength to stand.
His fingers tightened weakly against your shoulder. “Don’t… count,” he said, and there was the faintest ghost of stubbornness in his tone.
So you didn’t.
You simply pulled, feeling his muscles strain as he forced himself upright. His breath caught, low and harsh, and you wanted to tell him to stop — to rest — but you knew he wouldn’t. So you bore his weight, one slow, shuffling step at a time.
The forest floor was uneven, roots catching at your slippers, the damp earth giving underfoot. Each movement sent a tremor through him that you could feel down to your bones. The heat of his blood was still seeping into you, even through the haphazard wrappings.
Then — through the tangle of trees — you saw it.
The outline of a structure, small and leaning, half-swallowed by vines. Its roof sagged in the middle, and the wood was the color of ash, weathered from years of abandonment. But it was shelter.
“There,” you breathed, almost afraid to say it too loudly, as though the forest might take it back.
You guided him toward it, every few steps pausing so he could catch his breath. By the time you reached the crooked doorway, your own arms were shaking from the effort of keeping him upright.
Inside, the air was dry, musty with the scent of old wood. The moonlight reached through gaps in the roof, painting pale lines across the floor. There was nothing here but a few rotted beams, a collapsed mat, and the faint remains of a hearth in the far corner.
“Sit,” you said softly, easing him down onto a stretch of floor where the wood seemed stable enough.
He sank onto it with a quiet exhale, leaning forward slightly to keep pressure off his back. His hair had fallen loose over his face, strands clinging to the sweat at his temples. You brushed them aside without thinking.
“I’ll… start a fire,” you said, though you weren’t sure if you were talking to him or yourself.
There was some dry wood stacked near the hearth — brittle enough to break by hand — and you gathered what you could. It took longer than you wanted, your fingers clumsy from cold and inexperience, but eventually you coaxed a small flame to life, feeding it until it crackled and glowed.
The warmth crept out slowly, touching the edges of the room, softening the night’s bite. You returned to him, kneeling beside his shoulder.
“You should lie down,” you said.
His eyes lifted to yours, dark and steady despite the exhaustion in them. “…And leave you on the floor?”
It was ridiculous, given the state he was in, but the faint curve of his lips told you he meant it.
You shook your head and guided him carefully toward the fire, helping him lower himself until the heat could reach him. He didn’t fight you this time.
The fire had grown steady now — a low, living thing, its glow licking softly at the dark corners of the hut. You had pulled the remnants of the collapsed mat closer, just enough for Suguru to rest without the damp of the floor seeping into him.
He lay angled toward the flames, one arm folded beneath his head, the other resting loosely on his chest. The lines between his brows had softened, though every so often, his breath would hitch in the faintest grimace.
You watched him for a long time before moving.
It wasn’t just the wound that worried you — though it was deep, ugly, and still faintly seeping. It was the way his skin felt too cool under your fingertips, the way he kept glancing at the door even in exhaustion, like a man who knew safety could never last.
“Let me see,” you murmured, reaching toward his back.
His gaze flicked to you. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not,” you countered, voice steady though your chest was tight. “Please.”
A beat passed. Then, wordlessly, he shifted forward, letting you peel back the blood-stiffened bandages you had tied in the forest. The cloth stuck in places, pulling at torn flesh. You bit the inside of your cheek each time he inhaled sharply.
The firelight made the wound look worse — an angry slash, deep enough that you could see the strain it took for him to hold himself upright at all. You dabbed at the edges with strips of your already-ruined robe, trying to keep your hands from trembling.
“You should have stayed behind,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure if you meant the hall or the fight itself.
“And let them kill you?” His tone was quiet, but there was steel under it. “No.”
You swallowed, binding him in fresh strips, pulling them snug but not cruel. “You can’t protect me if you die.”
His shoulders tensed faintly under your touch, but he said nothing.
When you were done, you settled beside him, close enough that the warmth of the fire blended with the heat of his skin. He didn’t move away. Outside, the wind had picked up, threading through the trees with a low, unbroken sigh.
Minutes bled into an hour. The flames popped softly, a single ember spiraling up before winking out.
“Try to sleep,” you said at last, breaking the silence.
He gave a small shake of his head. “Not yet.” His voice was quieter now, almost a hum. “Someone needs to keep watch.”
“I’ll do it.”
His lips curved — not in humor, but in something that almost resembled defeat. “You don’t know what to listen for.”
“Then teach me,” you said.
His eyes found yours in the dim light, and something unspoken lingered there.
But he didn’t speak.
Eventually, he let his head rest back against the mat. His breathing slowed, though you could tell he wasn’t asleep. You stayed awake with him, tracing the uneven pattern of firelight on the walls, listening to the forest shift and breathe.
The night felt endless, yet you found yourself wishing it would last a little longer — because once morning came, the world outside would start moving again. And you knew neither of you could hide here forever.
The first night bled into the second day without either of you truly sleeping.
Every creak of the hut made your muscles tense, every rustle in the underbrush outside dragged your eyes to the doorway. The fire burned low by morning, the pale light of dawn creeping in through the warped planks.
Suguru was propped against the wall, eyelids heavy but still watching the door like it might decide to move closer.
“You didn’t rest,” you murmured, setting down the bundle of dry branches you’d gathered from just outside.
“You didn’t either, princess” he replied. His voice was rougher than last night — a rasp of smoke and fatigue.
You wanted to argue, but the truth was, you’d been just as stubborn. Sleep felt like an indulgence neither of you could afford.
Second night.
The wind had shifted, bringing with it the scent of rain and something else — faint, metallic. You caught it while feeding the fire, pausing with a branch in hand.
Suguru noticed.
“What is it?”
“Smells like… smoke.”
His eyes sharpened. He pushed himself upright — too fast — and a hiss escaped him as the wound protested.
“Stay here,” he ordered, moving toward the door.
“I’m not—”
“Stay.” His tone cut through you, low and final. But you saw the way his jaw tightened, the way his hand lingered against the frame for balance.
He’s still hurt. He shouldn’t even be standing.
You followed him anyway, stopping just behind as he stepped outside. The forest was hushed, damp earth soaking up the light drizzle. And then you saw it — a thin ribbon of smoke rising from deeper in the woods.
“Someone’s close,” you whispered.
“Or passing through,” he said, though the tension in his shoulders told you he didn’t believe it.
Third day.
He’d let you clean the wound again, though not without muttered protests. You could feel the fever under his skin, the heat radiating from his back.
“This isn’t healing fast enough,” you said, wiping away the edges of blood that had seeped through the bandage overnight.
“It’s healing,” he countered. “You just don’t like the pace.”
You tied the cloth snugly, ignoring his wince.
Fourth Night.
The rain had stopped hours ago, leaving the forest heavy with the scent of wet leaves. You were half-asleep, head resting against the wall, when the sound shattered the quiet — quick, snapping steps outside. Not animal.
Suguru was up instantly, sword in hand. The way he moved made your stomach tighten — not just from fear, but from the cold realization that his body was still weaker than his will.
The footsteps paused just beyond the doorway.
Suguru’s voice was a low growl. “Show yourself.”
No answer. Only the sound of breath — human, close, and deliberate.
And then, a blur — a figure darted past the opening, something glinting in their hand. Suguru lunged, catching them just outside. The clash was quick, brutal — too quick for you to do more than stand frozen in the doorway.
The man collapsed at his feet, weapon clattering to the ground. Suguru stayed still for a moment, shoulders rising and falling, before stepping back inside.
“Scouting,” he said shortly. “They’re looking for us.”
The air in the hut felt heavier after that, the fire’s warmth no longer reaching your skin.
The sixth night came colder than the ones before. The fire burned low, shadows pooling thick along the warped walls. You had just finished tightening the bandages again, fingers brushing against the hard bread you found in the hut –something far cry from the usual tables of the palace–, when he finally spoke the words you’d been dreading.
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Your mouth stopped chewing. “…What?”
He didn’t look at you right away. His gaze stayed fixed on the flames, as if the answer he needed might be hiding there. “They’re getting closer. You saw the scout.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
“It means they know where we are,” he cut in, tone even but firm. “If I stay, I’ll be fighting them here. And you’ll be trapped in the middle of it.”
You shook your head, a slow burn building in your chest. “So you’re going to go out there? Alone? In your condition?”
He finally looked at you then, and you hated how steady his eyes were. “If I move now, I can find them before they find you. I can end it before it reaches this door.”
You turned away, staring at the fire because looking at him felt too dangerous. “And what am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”
“Wait.” The word was simple, final. “Stay here. Keep the fire going. Don’t open the door for anyone.”
A hundred arguments clawed at the back of your throat, but none of them would change the way he had already set his jaw. You knew that look — the same one he’d worn when he’d stepped between you and the men who wanted your life.
Still, the thought of him vanishing into the forest without you made your stomach knot. You imagined every possible ending, and too many of them ended with you never seeing him again.
He must have seen something of that in your face, because his voice softened, just slightly. “I’ll be back. Two days, maybe three. You’ll be safe here.”
Safe.
You didn’t believe that word anymore.
But you didn’t say so. You only nodded, slow and unwilling, as if that might make the hours ahead pass more slowly.
When he lay down that night, his back turned toward you, you stayed awake long after his breathing steadied — counting the cracks in the roof, tracing the faint scars on the door frame with your eyes.
Because in the morning, you’d have to decide.
Would you do as he said and wait, or follow him into the forest?
synopsis : gojo satoru was supposed to be taking a break, not obsessing over the woman across the hall who slammed her door in his face and lives in his head rent-free ever since. he's not the type to fall easy-too smart for that, date-to-marry only-but you? you show up in bikinis and arguments, and suddenly he's one bad decision away from wanting everything.
tags -> f!reader, cruise ship au, summer situationship, romantic comedy, fluff, humor, eventual smut, porn with plot, sexual tension, heavy banter, satoru is a workaholic and a hopeless romantic, so much emotional constipation, bad decisions in luxury settings, jorking it with a bikini, mentioned sugushoko, more tags to be added.
wc — 6.3k | prev | series masterlist | next
a/n: okay so this is a little late from my posting schedule and i’m SORRY but also not sorry because i got completely lost in writing their banter??? they’re both so stupid it had me CACKLING at my own writing (is that embarrassing? probably. do i care? absolutely not) and don’t even get me started on all the nonverbal cues i sprinkled in. maritime infractions are serious business on this ship and these two are racking up violations left and right 😭 anyway your thoughts and reblogs literally fuel my soul so please come scream at me in the tags about submarine psychology and poor life choices <3
satoru wakes at 6am staring at the ceiling like a man awaiting execution. his hair is doing that thing where it stands up in seventeen different directions, each strand a tiny monument to his shame. the bikini sits folded on his nightstand—clean, innocent, somehow still radiating accusation. he's been conscious for exactly fourteen minutes and has already mentally rehearsed forty-three different ways to return it without spontaneously combusting into a pile of regret and expensive skincare products.
his reflection in the bathroom mirror looks like a golden retriever caught eating homework. the kind of guilty that seeps into your pores and stays there. he runs his hands through the mess of his hair, watching the way it catches light like spun glass, and thinks about how you called him pretty last night. drunk you. honest you. the you that exists underneath all that sharp-edged armor.
he stress-dresses, which for satoru means overthinking every single fabric choice. soft beige linen shirt, half-buttoned because his hands are shaking just enough to make precision impossible. cream chinos that cost more than most people's rent. slides his glasses on and immediately takes them off again, then puts them back on because he can't decide if he looks more trustworthy with or without them. the frames sit crooked on his nose—he's too nervous to fix them properly.
the bikini gets wrapped in tissue paper like a fragile artifact, tucked inside a small gift bag that he purchased from the ship's boutique at 7:30am because apparently his anxiety extends to packaging aesthetics. the teenage cashier gave him a look that suggested she knew exactly what kind of emergency this was.
walking to breakfast feels like a funeral march. every step echoes in the pristine hallway. his palms are sweating. there's a muscle in his jaw that won't stop twitching, and he keeps adjusting his collar even though it's perfectly fine. the gift bag feels like it weighs seventeen pounds.
you're at a corner table in the dining hall, and the sight of you makes his chest do something complicated and painful. flowing lavender midi dress with delicate pearl buttons that catch the morning light, kitten heels in nude that make your legs look endless, hair swept into a sleek low bun with face-framing pieces that make his fingers itch to touch. your lips are glossy and nude and he's staring at them longer than socially acceptable.
but you're stabbing your eggs benedict like it personally offended your entire bloodline.
the second you see him approaching—gift bag in hand, looking like guilt personified—your fork freezes mid-stab. your face cycles through approximately seventeen emotions in three seconds: surprise, recognition, horror, anger, embarrassment, more anger, resignation, and finally settling on something that could generously be called homicidal.
“hey,” he starts, voice cracking slightly on the single syllable. his free hand comes up to touch the back of his neck, a nervous habit that makes his hair catch the overhead lighting in ways that shouldn't be legal. clears his throat, tries again. “um. the laundry service mixed up our bags.”
his fingers are white-knuckled around the gift bag handle. there's a bead of sweat at his temple despite the air conditioning, and his glasses slide down his nose just enough that he has to push them back up with his index finger.
you set your fork down with the precision of someone defusing a bomb, each movement controlled and deliberate. your shoulders tense beneath the lavender fabric. “please tell me that's not what i think it is.”
“i didn't look!” the words tumble out too fast, too high-pitched. his free hand gestures wildly, nearly knocking over a water glass, and his hair falls across his forehead in pale strands that catch light like captured starfire. “well, i mean, i had to look to know it wasn't mine, but i swear i didn't—” he stops, realizes he's making it worse, tries to backtrack while his cheeks flame scarlet. “i mean, obviously i saw it, but i wasn't looking looking, just identifying, and then i immediately—”
you snatch the bag from his hand with the efficiency of someone disarming a bomb. your movements are sharp, angry, but there's a slight tremor in your fingers that you can't quite hide. you peek inside, and your face goes nuclear. the color drains from your cheeks before flooding back in a wave of crimson that spreads from your collar to your hairline.
“oh god.” your voice is barely a whisper, and you clutch the bag to your chest like armor. one hand comes up to touch your throat, fingers pressing against the hollow where your pulse is hammering. “you've seen my—”
“i'm really sorry.” he's talking over you now, panic making his words overlap yours in a symphony of mortification. his hair is completely disheveled from running his hands through it, standing up in ways that make him look younger, more vulnerable. “i should have just left it at your door but i thought that might be weird too and what if someone else saw it and—”
“—this is humiliating—” your voice cracks slightly on the last word, and you bite your bottom lip hard enough to leave marks.
“—didn't mean for this to happen—” his glasses slip again, and this time he doesn't bother fixing them.
“—you must think i'm a complete disaster—” you're gripping the gift bag so tightly your knuckles have gone white against the delicate paper.
you're both talking over each other, faces red as stop signs, eyes looking everywhere except at each other. the other diners are starting to stare. an elderly woman at the next table is very obviously eavesdropping while pretending to read the ship's newsletter.
satoru's brain is stuck in a loop because shoko's voice keeps echoing in his head: drunk people say things they're afraid to say sober. did you mean it when you called him pretty? when you said he was warm? when your fingertips traced the line of his jaw like you were memorizing it?
“you're not a disaster.” the words come out quieter than intended, more genuine than he planned. his hair falls across his forehead when he ducks his head, creating shadows that make his eyes look deeper, more serious. “yesterday you were just... yourself.”
you clutch the gift bag to your chest like armor, knuckles white against the delicate paper. your chin lifts in defiance, but there's something vulnerable in the way you won't quite meet his eyes. “drunk me isn't myself.”
“maybe sober you is the act.” his voice is soft, tentative, and he immediately winces as if he can't believe he just said that. his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck again, messing his hair further.
it slips out before he can stop it. too honest. too hopeful. too much like the beginning of something that could ruin him completely. his eyes widen behind his glasses as he realizes what he's said, but he can't take it back now.
you stare at him like he just read your diary. your lips part slightly, a sharp intake of breath that makes your shoulders rise, and for a moment he thinks you might say something that changes everything. instead, your expression hardens like cooling steel, jaw setting in a way that makes the delicate line of your throat more pronounced.
“you don't know anything about me.” your voice drops to something dangerous, controlled. you lean forward slightly, and he catches a whiff of your perfume—something expensive and floral that makes his brain go staticky. your fingers drum once against the gift bag, a tiny tell that betrays your composure.
“i know you remembered every word you said last night.” his voice is steadier now, more confident despite the way his pulse is hammering against his throat. he mirrors your lean, bringing them closer across the small table, and his eyes—pale as arctic ice but somehow burning—never leave yours.
“so?” the word comes out sharp enough to cut glass. you're gripping that gift bag like it's the only thing keeping you tethered to earth, and there's a flush creeping up your neck that you can't quite hide.
“so you're not embarrassed about being drunk. you're embarrassed about being honest.”
direct hit. bullseye. your jaw drops and he can see the exact moment his words find their mark, watches your pupils dilate slightly before you catch yourself. there's something dangerous in the way you look at him now, like he's just crossed a line he didn't know existed.
“you're unbelievable.” you stand up so fast your chair scrapes against the floor, the sound sharp enough to make him wince. your hands are shaking slightly—with rage or mortification, he can't tell—and the pearl buttons on your dress catch the light as your chest rises and falls with carefully controlled breaths.
“you asked me to stay. twice.” his voice drops to barely above a whisper, but it carries across the space between you like a physical thing. he stands too, slower, and the movement makes his shirt pull slightly across his chest. less teasing now, more raw. his hair falls across his forehead, creating shadows that make his expression harder to read.
your face cycles through emotions again, faster this time. he watches your jaw clench, watches you take a breath that makes your shoulders rise and fall in a way that draws his attention to places it shouldn't go. your fingers worry at the edge of the gift bag, crinkling the delicate paper.
“i was drunk off my ass.” each word is enunciated with surgical precision, like you're explaining something to a particularly stupid child. you take a half-step back, putting distance between your bodies, but your eyes never leave his face.
“but you meant it.” not a question. the way he says it—like he's holding onto hope with white knuckles, like your answer might determine the trajectory of his entire existence. his hair catches the light filtering through the dining hall windows, all those impossible shades that look like moonlight trapped in glass.
you don't answer immediately. instead, you do something with your face that suggests you're calculating exactly how much trouble you'd get in for dumping your mimosa over his head. your fingers drum once against the gift bag, then still, as if you've caught yourself in the nervous habit.
“i was drunk,” you repeat, but there's less conviction this time. your voice wavers almost imperceptibly, and you compensate by lifting your chin higher. more defensiveness than certainty. “people say stupid things when they're drunk.”
“like calling me pretty?” he pushes, because apparently he's developed a death wish sometime between yesterday and this morning. his glasses slide down his nose slightly, and he pushes them up with one finger, the gesture somehow both nervous and endearing. never breaks eye contact, though, watches the way your breath catches.
your face flames again, color spreading from your throat to your hairline in a wave that you can't control. your free hand comes up to touch your neck, fingers pressing against the pulse point there. “stop.”
“or asking me to stay because i'm warm?” his voice drops even lower, and there's something different in his expression now. less playful, more intense. his hair falls forward again, but he doesn't push it back this time, lets it frame his face in a way that makes those glacier-bright eyes more pronounced.
“satoru.” his name comes out like a warning, but there's something underneath it that makes his stomach do complicated gymnastics. you take another step back, but it brings you up against the table, effectively trapping you between furniture and the man who's apparently determined to excavate every vulnerable moment from your memory.
“or touching my face like—”
you slam the gift bag down on the table hard enough to make the silverware jump, the sound sharp as a gunshot in the refined dining atmosphere. your chest is rising and falling rapidly now, and the pearl buttons strain slightly with each breath. the elderly woman at the next table doesn't even pretend she's not listening anymore.
“you want to know what i think?” your voice is low, controlled, the kind of calm that comes right before a hurricane makes landfall. you lean forward, bringing yourself close enough that he can see the tiny tremor in your hands, can smell your perfume mixing with chlorine and something uniquely you. “i think you're a smug tech bro who gets off on making women uncomfortable.”
the words land like physical blows. his mouth falls open slightly, and he blinks behind his glasses like you've just spoken a foreign language. his hand stills in his hair, leaving pale strands sticking up at odd angles.
“that's not—” he starts, but his voice comes out rough, uncertain. there's something wounded in his expression now, like you've just kicked his favorite puppy.
“i think,” you continue, voice getting sharper with each word, your hands braced against the table edge hard enough to make your knuckles stand out, “you probably have a whole collection of stories about drunk girls who threw themselves at you, and now you're just waiting to add me to the list.”
his face goes through several expressions in rapid succession. hurt, confusion, something that might be anger if he let it fully form. his hair falls across his forehead again when he shakes his head, and this time he doesn't bother pushing it back. there's a flush creeping up his neck that has nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with genuine offense.
“you think i'm using this against you?” his voice is quieter now, but there's steel underneath it. he straightens to his full height, and the movement makes his shirt pull across his shoulders in a way that emphasizes just how much larger he is than you.
“aren't you?” you straighten up too, cross your arms over your chest in a way that makes the pearl buttons on your dress catch the light. your chin lifts in challenge, but there's something defensive in the way you won't quite meet his eyes directly. “bringing up everything i said, pushing and pushing until i admit something you can laugh about later with your friends?”
the accusation twists something uncomfortable in his chest. his jaw tightens, and when he speaks again, there's an edge to his voice that wasn't there before. his hands clench and unclench at his sides, a barely controlled gesture of frustration.
“you think that's the kind of person i am.” it's not a question. his eyes—those impossible shades of winter sky and deep ocean—search your face like he's looking for something specific. some sign that you don't actually believe what you're saying.
“i don't know what kind of person you are. that's the point.” you grab the gift bag again, clutch it to your chest, and the movement makes you sway slightly on your heels. “i don't know you, you don't know me, and this whole—” you gesture vaguely between them with your free hand, a sharp, agitated movement “—whatever this is, is just some vacation fantasy that's going to end badly for both of us.”
he stares at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable behind his glasses. there's something working in his jaw, like he's chewing on words he can't quite figure out how to say. his hair catches the light from the dining hall windows, creating an almost ethereal halo effect that makes him look angelic and infuriating in equal measure.
“wow,” he finally says, voice flat. his head tilts slightly, and the movement sends those pale strands shifting across his forehead. “you really have me all figured out, don't you?”
“i have men figured out.” the bitterness in your voice is sharp enough to draw blood. you stand up properly now, smoothing down your dress with hands that are steadier than they have any right to be. the movement is precise, controlled, but there's a tension in your shoulders that betrays your composure. “and the last thing i need is another one who thinks he can fix me or figure me out or whatever savior complex bullshit you're working through.”
you don't wait for his response. just walk away with your chin held high and that gift bag clutched in your manicured fingers, leaving him sitting there with his mouth slightly open and his eggs getting cold. your heels click against the marble floor in a sharp staccato rhythm that sounds like armor being donned for battle.
the elderly woman at the next table leans over, adjusting her reading glasses with obvious relish. “you're in trouble, sweetheart.”
“tell me something i don't know,” he mutters, and pushes his untouched breakfast away. his hair falls forward when he drops his head into his hands, creating a curtain of pale silk that hides his expression from the world.
but he doesn't leave. sits there for another twenty minutes, staring at the spot where you were sitting, replaying the conversation and trying to figure out exactly where it went from awkward to nuclear. his hair keeps falling in his eyes, and he keeps pushing it back with increasingly agitated movements that leave it more disheveled than before.
the thing is, he does want to know you. wants to figure out what makes you tick, what puts that guarded look in your eyes, what makes you flinch when someone gets too close. but apparently wanting to understand someone is a crime punishable by verbal evisceration and public humiliation.
his phone buzzes. text from shoko: how'd the bikini return go?
he types back with jerky movements, his thumb hitting the wrong keys twice: she thinks i'm a sociopathic tech bro who collects drunk girl stories.
well are you?
SHOKO.
kidding. mostly. what did you say to her?
he stares at the screen, trying to figure out how to explain that he might have accidentally implied she was lying about being drunk, then pushed when she clearly wanted him to back off, then somehow made it sound like he was keeping score of her vulnerable moments.
i think i fucked up.
shocking. literally no one saw this coming.
not helping.
go apologize. bring coffee. women love coffee apologies.
she doesn't want coffee. she wants me to spontaneously combust.
even better. very romantic.
he turns his phone face down and scrubs his hands through his hair until it's properly disheveled. the worst part is, you're not entirely wrong. he is pushing, and he is keeping track of every moment of vulnerability you've shown him. but not for the reasons you think.
three hours later, you're doing aggressive laps in the pool like you're racing your own thoughts. the coral pink bikini makes his brain short-circuit—all clean lines and barely-there coverage that suggests rather than reveals. he's pretending to read in a deck chair, some thriller novel he picked up from the ship's library, but the words might as well be hieroglyphics because all he can focus on is the way you cut through the water with precise, angry strokes.
his hair is behaving today, falling in soft waves that brush his forehead like spun moonbeams. he's traded the linen shirt for a simple white t-shirt that clings just enough to suggest the lean muscle underneath. his glasses are pushed up on his head, forgotten, leaving his face open and unguarded. there's a light flush across his cheekbones from the sun, or maybe from watching you move through the water with the fluid grace of something that was born to be untouchable.
when you surface at the shallow end and catch him staring, the air between you could spontaneously combust. water runs down your shoulders, catches in your collarbones, makes your skin gleam like something precious. your eyes lock with his across twenty feet of chlorinated space and suddenly he can't breathe properly.
“see something you like?” your voice carries across the water, all silk and challenge and barely concealed irritation from this morning's disaster. you're treading water effortlessly, arms moving in lazy circles that create small ripples around your body.
he chokes on his drink. literally chokes. the kind of undignified coughing fit that makes his face go red and his eyes water behind his glasses. when he finally gets himself under control, you're smirking at him with the satisfaction of a cat who's just knocked something expensive off a shelf. your head tilts slightly, water dripping from your hair in a way that should be illegal.
“sorry, i wasn't...” his voice is rough from coughing, and he clears his throat again. runs a hand through his hair, messing up the carefully casual styling and sending those pale strands in every direction. “i mean, you're a really good swimmer.”
the lameness of the comment hits him immediately. his face goes redder, and he can practically hear shoko laughing at him from three thousand miles away. his free hand comes up to adjust his glasses, even though they're still pushed up on his head.
“uh huh.” you pull yourself out of the pool in one fluid motion, arms flexing as you lift your body weight, water cascading down the curves and valleys of your skin like liquid sunlight. your movements are controlled, deliberate, but there's something performative about the way you don't hurry. like you know exactly what the sight of you emerging from water does to his central nervous system.
it's graceful and devastating and he has to physically look away or he'll have a situation that'll be visible to anyone with functioning eyeballs. his jaw clenches hard enough to make the muscle jump, and his fingers grip the book hard enough to leave marks in the paperback cover.
“you know what?” your voice is closer now, and when he risks a glance up, you're standing at the edge of his deck chair, dripping wet and magnificent and clearly enjoying his discomfort. water droplets cling to your skin like diamonds, and you make no move to reach for your towel. “you can stare. i don't care.”
but the way you say it—like you're daring him to want you, like you know exactly what kind of power you have over him—makes his stomach flip and dive like he's on a roller coaster designed by someone with a personal vendetta against his sanity. his throat works as he swallows hard, and his knuckles go white where they're gripping the book.
“i'm not staring.” the lie is obvious to both of you. his voice comes out rougher than intended, all gravel and poorly concealed want. his hair falls across his eyes again, and this time he lets it stay there like a shield.
“right. and i'm not dripping wet in a bikini.” you reach for your towel with deliberate slowness, each movement calculated to maximize the torture. your fingers trail along the terry cloth before lifting it. “must be a really fascinating book.”
he glances down at the novel in his lap. it's upside down. has been upside down for the past hour, apparently. his cheeks flame again, and he flips it right side up with movements that are just a little too quick, too jerky.
“it's...” he clears his throat, pushes his glasses down from his head to his nose in a gesture that somehow makes him look both more serious and more adorable. “it's about submarines.”
“submarines.” you repeat the word like it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard, and there's something almost fond in the way your lips curve around the syllables. you wrap the towel around your waist, but the movement is slow, lazy, like you're in no hurry to cover up. “how thrilling.”
“it's actually pretty interesting,” he says defensively, even though he couldn't tell you the protagonist's name if his life depended on it. his hand comes up to gesture, an animated movement that makes his hair catch the light, and his voice takes on that particular tone he gets when he's about to launch into an explanation. “the technology behind underwater navigation is really complex, and the psychological aspects of being trapped in a confined space with the same people for months is—”
“are you seriously trying to explain submarine psychology to me right now?” your voice climbs slightly in pitch, somewhere between incredulous and amused. you shift your weight from one foot to the other, a movement that makes the towel slip slightly before you catch it.
he stops mid-sentence, mouth slightly open, and realizes that yes, he is apparently trying to explain submarine psychology while you stand there in a bikini that should probably be illegal in several states. his expression goes through several rapid changes—confusion, realization, mortification—before settling on something that might charitably be called sheepish.
“i...” he blinks rapidly behind his glasses, and his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck again. “i think my brain is broken.”
despite yourself, your mouth twitches. just slightly. barely perceptible. but he catches it, files it away like a victory. your shoulders relax just a fraction, and you bite your bottom lip like you're trying to keep from smiling.
“clearly.” you adjust the towel around your waist, but it doesn't help much. if anything, it makes things worse by drawing attention to everything it's not covering. “what happened to the smooth talker from this morning?”
“he died of embarrassment somewhere between the breakfast fiasco and the upside-down book incident.” his mouth quirks up at one corner, a self-deprecating smile that transforms his whole face from merely attractive to something approaching devastating. his hair is completely disheveled now, sticking up in ways that make him look younger.
“good. he was annoying.” there's less venom in your voice this time, more exasperation than genuine anger. you tilt your head slightly, studying his face with the intensity of someone solving a particularly complex puzzle.
progress, maybe. or maybe you're just too tired from swimming to maintain peak hostility levels.
“i'm sorry,” he says suddenly, setting the book aside properly this time. his movement is careful, deliberate, and when he looks up at you his expression is more serious than you've seen it. “about this morning. i was pushing too hard.”
you pause in the middle of reaching for your cover-up, hand suspended in mid-air. your eyes flick to his face to check if he's being sincere, searching for signs of manipulation or mockery. whatever you see there must satisfy you, because your shoulders relax fractionally and your hand completes its journey to the white cotton dress draped over the nearby chair.
“you were being a dick.” the words come out matter-of-fact rather than angry, and you pull the cover-up over your head with movements that are more resigned than hostile.
“yeah. i was.” he runs a hand through his hair, leaving it even more disheveled than before. the gesture makes his shirt ride up slightly, exposing a strip of pale skin above his waistband. “i do that when i'm nervous, apparently. turn into some kind of pushy asshole who thinks he's entitled to other people's private moments.”
“at least you're aware of it now.” you settle into the chair next to his, and the proximity makes him hyperaware of every small movement you make. the way you cross your legs, the way your fingers drum against your knee, the way you keep glancing at him when you think he's not looking.
“shoko says self-awareness is the first step toward not dying alone.” his smile is rueful now, and he adjusts his glasses with a gesture that's becoming familiar. the frames catch the light, making his eyes look even more impossibly pale.
“smart friend.” you lean back in your chair, and the movement makes the cover-up cling to damp spots on your skin underneath.
“she has her moments.” he turns slightly in his chair to face you more directly, and the shift brings his knee dangerously close to yours. “for what it's worth, i don't think you're a disaster. drunk or sober.”
you're quiet for a moment, studying his face like you're trying to solve a particularly complicated equation. there's something working behind your eyes, some internal debate he's not privy to. your fingers still against your knee, and you take a breath that makes your chest rise beneath the white cotton.
“you don't know me well enough to make that determination,” you finally say, but there's less edge to it than before. more resignation than hostility.
“maybe not. but i'd like to.” the words slip out honest and unguarded in a way that makes him immediately want to take them back. his eyes widen slightly behind his glasses, like he's surprised by his own boldness. vulnerability feels dangerous around you, like showing his throat to a predator.
“why?” you ask, and there's genuine curiosity in your voice now. you lean forward slightly, elbows on your knees, studying his face with renewed intensity. “what is it about me that's so fascinating? the fact that i'm not falling all over myself to impress you?”
he considers the question seriously, tilting his head in a way that makes his hair catch the light and sends shadows dancing across his features. his fingers drum against his thigh, a nervous habit that mirrors yours from earlier.
“maybe. i'm not used to people who don't like me.” the admission comes out casual, like it's a fact rather than something that clearly bothers him more than he wants to admit.
“everyone likes you?” your eyebrows climb toward your hairline, and there's something almost accusatory in your tone. you lean back in your chair, putting distance between your bodies, but your eyes never leave his face.
“most people.” he shrugs, and the movement makes his shirt pull across his chest. “i'm charming. successful. good-looking enough. i make people laugh.”
“and humble.” the sarcasm drips from your voice, but there's something softer underneath it. something that might be amusement if you let it fully form.
“devastatingly humble.” there's a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and the expression transforms his whole face. makes those arctic-bright eyes crinkle at the corners. “but you looked at me that first night like i was something unpleasant you'd found on the bottom of your shoe.”
“you were making a lot of noise in the hallway.” you shift in your chair, and the movement makes the cover-up ride up slightly on your thighs. your tone is defensive, but there's a flush creeping up your neck that suggests the memory affects you more than you want to admit.
“and you were absolutely ruthless about it.” his smile becomes more pronounced, transforming his whole face from merely attractive to something approaching devastating. his hair falls across his forehead again, but this time he leaves it there, creating shadows that make his expression more mysterious. “it was... refreshing.”
you stare at him like he's just admitted to enjoying root canal surgery. your mouth opens slightly, then closes, then opens again. “you have issues.”
“probably.” his smile widens, and he leans back in his chair with a confidence that wasn't there this morning. the movement makes his shirt stretch across his chest in a way that draws your attention despite your best efforts. “but you're still talking to me, so maybe you have issues too.”
the accuracy of the observation makes you bristle slightly. you hitch the cover-up higher, a defensive gesture that draws his attention to the way the white cotton contrasts with your skin. your jaw tightens, and you take a breath that makes your chest rise and fall beneath the damp fabric.
“i'm leaving,” you announce, like it's a threat rather than a statement of fact. you stand up with sharp, jerky movements that suggest your composure is more fragile than it appears.
“okay.” he doesn't move, just watches you with those impossible eyes that seem to see everything. his hair is completely disheveled now, sticking up in ways that should look ridiculous but somehow just make him look more appealing.
you don't move. just stand there, cover-up clinging to damp spots on your skin, looking like you're fighting some internal battle. your hands clench and unclench at your sides, and there's a flush spreading from your throat downward.
“why aren't you arguing with me?” you demand after a moment, and there's genuine frustration in your voice. you cross your arms again, a protective gesture that makes the white cotton pull tight across your chest.
“do you want me to argue with you?” his voice is genuinely curious, and he tilts his head again in that way that makes his hair shift like captured starlight. there's something almost gentle in his expression now, like he's looking at a wounded animal.
“i want you to be predictable.” the frustration in your voice is palpable. you take a half-step toward him, then seem to think better of it and step back again. “men are supposed to be predictable. they want what they can't have, they chase until they catch, then they get bored and move on to the next shiny thing.”
something painful flickers across his expression, too quick for you to identify but not quick enough for him to hide completely. his smile falters, and his hand comes up to push his glasses up his nose in a gesture that's becoming nervous rather than casual.
“sounds like you're speaking from experience.” his voice is gentler now, more careful. like he's testing the temperature of dangerous waters.
“aren't we all?” the bitterness in your voice makes his chest tight. you turn away slightly, looking out at the pool where late afternoon light creates patterns on the water's surface. your profile is sharp, defensive, beautiful in a way that makes his fingers itch to trace the line from your temple to your jaw.
the silence stretches between you, heavy with things neither of you is willing to say. he wants to ask who hurt you, wants to find whoever made you sound like that and have a very long, very unpleasant conversation with them. but he's already pushed too hard once today.
“for what it's worth,” he says instead, voice gentler than before, and he leans forward in his chair so his elbows rest on his knees, “i don't get bored easily. ask shoko—i've been playing the same video game for six years.”
despite everything, you snort. actual snort. undignified and surprised and absolutely charming. your hand comes up to cover your mouth like you can take the sound back, and your shoulders shake slightly with suppressed laughter.
“did you just compare me to a video game?” you turn to face him fully now, and there's something lighter in your expression. not quite amusement, but close.
“it's a really good video game,” he says solemnly, and his hair falls across his forehead in a way that makes him look sincere and ridiculous in equal measure. “complex storyline. beautiful graphics. lots of hidden levels to unlock.”
“i can't believe you just—” you stop, shake your head, and the movement sends water droplets flying from the ends of your hair. “impossible.”
“but not boring?” he pushes his glasses up his nose with one finger, a hopeful gesture that makes him look younger than his twenty-eight years.
“definitely not boring.” you adjust the cover-up again, pulling it down over your thighs with movements that are becoming less defensive and more fidgety. “annoying, yes. presumptuous, absolutely. but not boring.”
“i'll take it.” his smile is genuine now, crinkling the corners of those winter-bright eyes and making his whole face light up in a way that suggests this might be the first real compliment you've given him.
the silence that follows is different from before. less hostile, more... expectant. like you're both waiting for the other to make the next move. he's looking at you with something that might be hope, and you're looking at him like you can't quite figure out what to do with him.
“i should go,” you say finally, but you don't sound entirely convinced. your fingers twist the hem of the cover-up, wringing the white cotton like it holds answers you can't find elsewhere.
“probably,” he agrees, but makes no move to stop you. his legs remain stretched out, ankles crossed, like he's settling in for a longer stay. the afternoon sun catches in his hair where it falls across his temple, each strand looking like it was spun from winter morning frost.
“people will start to talk.” your weight shifts from one foot to the other, a tiny dance of indecision that makes the cover-up sway around your thighs.
“they're already talking. did you see that woman at breakfast? i think she took notes.” he gestures vaguely toward the dining hall, and the movement makes his hair flutter across his forehead like captured moonlight. his eyes—the color of deep ocean trenches touched by arctic light—hold yours with something between amusement and challenge.
your mouth twitches again, more pronounced this time. “she was probably planning to write a strongly worded letter to the cruise director about inappropriate public displays.” the corner of your lips betrays you, curving upward despite your best efforts to maintain composure.
“of what? awkwardness and secondhand embarrassment?” his voice rises slightly with genuine bewilderment, and he pushes his glasses up his nose with one finger. the frames catch the light, creating tiny prisms that fracture the sun across his cheekbones.
“those are very serious maritime offenses.” your shoulders shake once with suppressed laughter, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep it contained.
you're almost smiling now. almost. he can see it hovering at the edges of your mouth like something trying to break free. his own expression softens, watching the way you fight against your own amusement like it's a weakness you can't afford to show.
“well,” you say, taking a step backward, and your heel catches slightly on the deck, making you steady yourself with a graceful shift of weight. “wouldn't want to add to my criminal record.”
“you have a criminal record?” he sits up straighter in the chair, and the movement makes his shirt pull taut across his chest. his hair falls in different directions now, creating new patterns of light and shadow across his features.
“wouldn't you like to know.” the words come out with a sly smile that finally breaks free, transforming your whole face from guarded to mischievous in a way that hits him like electricity to the chest.
and then you're walking away, hips swaying just enough to destroy what's left of his composure. the white cover-up billows slightly with each step, revealing glimpses of coral pink underneath that make his mouth go dry. the coral pink of your bikini disappears around the corner, but the image is burned into his retinas like he's been staring at the sun.
he sits there for ten minutes, book forgotten in his lap, watching the light dance across the empty pool water and trying to remember how to form coherent thoughts. his hair catches every shift of the breeze, individual strands lifting and settling like they're conducting some invisible symphony. his glasses slide down his nose and he doesn't bother to fix them, just stares at the space where you disappeared with eyes the color of winter storms at sea.
his internal monologue is just a string of increasingly creative profanity punctuated by your name and the word fuck repeated with the frequency of a prayer or a curse.
you're killing him. actually murdering him with your entire existence. and you know it.
but for the first time since this whole disaster started, he's beginning to think you might be enjoying it too. fuck.
summary: every year, to make them pay for their uprising, a male and female tribute are selected from each district to fight to the death in the hunger games. this year, you have been chosen as the female tribute from district 11. you never expected to make an alliance with someone, much less with the capitol's newest darling, gojo satoru. but it happens, making this year's games even more interesting. not only for the unlikely alliance, but for the fact that nobody could've predicted love to bloom between such unlikely tributes.
warnings: general hunger games related dark themes, nothing too serious yet
word count: 20k
note: reblogs and comments are always appreciated! hope part one is interesting enough for the eventual part two that's in the works!
jjk masterlist + series masterlist
From the Treaty of Treason:
In penance for their uprisings, each district shall offer up a male and female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public “Reaping”.
These tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol.
And then transferred to a public arena where they will fight to the Death, until a lone victor remains.
—-
When your name was called at the Reaping, you didn’t feel fear.
You thought you would’ve. All those years dreading the moment where your name could be called, herded into a show of glitz and glam, all to be brutally slaughtered at the end. It’s frightening, violent, gruesome. It’s death.
But when you heard your name resonate through that microphone and bounce off the walls of the courtyard, you felt a strange sense of relief.
Your shoulders relaxed, head dropping down as you nod slightly to yourself. After nearly surviving seventeen years of escaping the Hunger Games, what odd irony it was that at your last eligible year, you’d be chosen? But you knew deep down, your odds of being picked were greater than most. You had entered your name so many times in exchange for extra rations that it was almost comical how empty that glass bowl would be without your help.
Looking around, as if to make sure you hadn’t misheard it, you see your rampaging thoughts quickly answered by the way you could see yourself on the big screens, the Capitol cameras focusing in on your face to see your reaction. They normally love a show, adore it when people cry or protest. But you couldn’t cry even if you wanted to, felt no need to show others pain that you reserved for those you loved most.
The girls around you mutter things quickly, their eyes darting around to gauge your emotions. Last year, the girl tribute from your district tried to run away. She had made it close to the fence before one of the peacekeepers thumped her on the head and dragged her back towards the stage.
But you wouldn’t be running. You wouldn’t be giving them a show. They had taken your mother and father, your sister and brother. They had taken your youth and now your adulthood, but you swore in that moment that you wouldn’t give them what they wanted most.
Your body moved on its own out of the crowd, the girls around you giving you room to part from them. Some of them whispered thanks under their breaths, others let their hands linger on your arms and back. Maybe they felt sorry, as if they were already mourning you.
The Capitol lady they send every year for the annual reaping of the Hunger Games watches you with hawk-like eyes as you slowly make your way down the aisle and towards the makeshift stage. Brumesia, a woman with a strange name and even stranger choice of attire and makeup, gives you an oily, manufactured smile as you slowly make your way up the steps and towards her outstretched hand.
You look at it briefly in questioning. It was covered with a suede, plum-colored glove, and you wondered how much a glove like that would cost at the market. It could surely cover a family's meals for over a month. She looked at you and then at your hands, the crowd of people watching as they waited for you to shake it.
Most people tend to dress in their best clothes for the reaping ceremony. They wear what they would usually save for the new year or gatherings. They clean up and try to look presentable for the respectable Capitol people watching. But you, you who could barely afford a tattered dress or soap, looked exactly like you did leaving the fields, grimy. So when you shook Brumesia’s hand, you made sure to get all your dirt and sweat on her brand-new gloves.
Brumesia gave a slightly winced look, giving you a tightly pressed smile as she walked back to her microphone, gripping the stand.
“Thank you for this year's female tribute,” she glanced over your way, most likely already having forgotten your name, “And now, the male tribute…”
You stood limply and lifeless as she read the male tribute's name, a boy who had just become old enough for the games, and someone who you would see frequently working around the production line. You had never had so many eyes on you, and you felt open and raw. You distracted yourself by naming all the colors of the clothes people were wearing, but it was an overwhelming wash of greys and blacks.
You watched as the boy, Itadori Yuuji, made his way up to the stage. In the distance, his mother could be heard muffling her cries, and the cameras made sure to capture her crumpled-up face. From what you knew, Yuuji had two brothers, but they were too old to volunteer for the games. You looked around to find them, their faces pale and drained of blood as they tried to hold their screaming mother back.
When you see his small body trudge out of the crowd, that's when you feel the first wave of nausea roll over you. Yuuji, with his round face and slight limp from an accident during his youth, was coming up the stage, furiously wiping at his face.
He was young, far too young.
For a second, it all feels surreal. You pinch yourself, hard, just to make sure you haven’t fallen asleep in the fields again, waking up to the gentle breeze and sway of wheat as you make your way back to the town.
That fear that you know you should’ve had almost creeps back up when Yuuji has his hand shaken and Brumesia reads the last of her card. The delayed reaction almost chokes you out, your hands trembling when you look over at her, then back to the crowd, and finally at the big screen televising your face.
When she reads the ceremonial statement, “may the odds be ever in your favor”, your mind stops itself from spiraling. You had to control yourself; you’ve mastered control before. The Capitol wasn’t going to take it from you, not like they did everything else.
Drumesia orders you to shake Yuuji's hand. You note how he trembles more than you.
—
This year would be the 66th annual Hunger Games.
The Capitol was still reeling from the games last year, when the new victor from District 4, the youngest ever, took out all his opponents with his various choice of weapons. When the train taking you and Yuuji from District 11 to the Capitol ended its journey, the buzz with all the Capitol citizens was still surrounding last year’s victor. The ladies were giggling in their masses, craning their necks to see the train from District 4, wanting to get a shot of him boarding off as a new mentor, paying no mind to the other trains. You expected this, being from District 11, but found yourself a little surprised to see the citizens even ignoring the trains from Districts 1 and 2, their neighboring brothers and sisters (although they'd recoil in disgust if they had to admit it).
It simply meant that the careers and tributes from these higher districts would be angered by the overshadowing of the young victor, meaning that this year's games would have to surpass the last.
Meaning that this year was going to be exceptionally brutal.
“Don’t they want to see us too?” Yuuji asked from beside you, peering out the window at the large crowd of people crowding the train car up ahead.
You blink out of your stupor, glancing over at him as you take in his bloodshot eyes and wet nose. He had spent the week-long journey crying, holding onto you as if you could be of much protection. You tried to wrench him away from you at first, not wanting to get attached, but it was inevit in able. You knew his brothers well after having worked alongside them for nearly six years and had a deep fondness for him mother. You can still remember the stir that woke the town when he was born, everyone scrambling to the Itadori household to pinch his chubby cheeks. A part of you couldn’t abandon him, a sense of guilt infiltrating your body the moment you even entertained the idea.
So you gave in, letting him crawl into your side. Besides, before you worked in the fields, you used to take care of the children of the mayor and the wealthier members of your district, so soothing Yuuji and his tremors wasn’t too difficult.
“They just can’t see us because of those big fluttery lashes they have,” you say with a teasing tone, winking at him in an exaggerated way that makes him giggle slightly. It’s not much, but the perpetual look of fear he has in his eyes leaves momentarily.
It was true, to some degree. The Capitol citizens wore inoperable, extravagant outfits that seemed to come in every array of colors and shapes. You had spent your entire life thinking that Brumesia was as over-the-top as it could be, but you were sorely mistaken. The Capitol, even this tiny train station, was beyond any word you could think of. At least, not any good ones.
This whole experience so far has only morbidly reminded you of your dark and impending fate. The train was littered with food or sweets you could imagine. You had never felt so full in your life, often trudging back to your room in a comatose state as you lay bonelessly on your bed. The mattresses are made with cotton, and the bedsheets are satin. Despite it all, however, it’s a blaring reminder that when this show is over, it’s up to you and the twenty-three other tributes to put on a new one.
And when you remember that the food no longer tastes as good.
“My mom would hate that lady's outfit,” Yuuji murmurs, pointing to a girl outside with a large hoop skirt decorated with red feathers, her bodice ending dangerously close underneath her chest. “She would say it’s too impractical.”
Although he’s trying to sound optimistic, you can still hear the quiver in his voice. He missed his mom, his whole family. You were waiting alone in the room next to him back home, waiting to be carded off onto the trains, when you heard them come in. You could still hear her cries in her sleep, hear his brothers beg for forgiveness for not being able to take his place.
It was torture. All of this was torture.
But you smile despite yourself, teeth flashing as you nudge his side a little bit, failing at chastizing him. Drumesia was off somewhere blotting her face, but her ears were always perked. The mentor they had given you, an old victor from way back when, was snoozing off in his room, unable to hear your remarks even if he had his face up close to your mouth.
“I don’t see how she’d be able to climb any trees with that skirt,” you tease, but feel a certain ache curl up in your chest. There were no trees to climb at the Capitol, and you doubted you’d ever feel the rush of adrenaline climbing one for yourself.
The trains from the other districts were slowly unloading, one by one, and Drumesia was waking up a storm trying to get everyone ready to leave. Martin, your mentor, clambered out of his room with his shirt crumbled up and a bit of pastry bits stuck to his mouth, making Drumesia fret over him more than you and Yuuji.
At this time, the two of you shifted down the train cart, near the edge, and tried to look out the small window that faced the tribute center, where they were filing them all in one by one.
“Look at him!” Yuuji pointed in excitement, his finger bending on the glass as he pressed his nose up, fogging it with his breath, “Look at him! Look at his hair!”
You crammed next to him to find what he was excited about, squinting your eyes to see in the distance, and felt your heart drop at the sight.
District 1, known for the production of luxury items, often bears the most tributes that win the games. Often coming after the Capitol in terms of wealth, they’re able to send their children to special academies to train for the games and volunteer up until it’s no longer possible. The tributes from this district almost always won, and if they didn’t, it’s only because the tributes from 2 or 4, in charge of stone production and fishing industries respectively, followed second. They often form alliance pacts at the start of the games before the friendships fizzle out and they kill each other, earning the nickname of Careers.
The person Yuuji was pointing to had a 1 written on the back of his shirt, his muscles rippling through the fabric as he moved. His arms were the size of trunks, his body strong like a tree. Tributes weren’t allowed to see the Reaping footage ceremony from the other districts during the train ride, most likely to keep with the air of mystery, but you had prepared yourself to be met with tributes who could kill you with their bare hands.
He looked like he could kill you with his bare hands.
“I would advise you two to step away from the windows. We wouldn’t want sponsors seeing you as you are…now,” Brumesia’s sing-songy voice filled your ears, making both you and Yuuji turn around quickly as if caught doing something wrong. She was looking the two of you up and down, and no matter how much you cleaned yourself in the showers, it felt like a layer of dirt was still clinging to you.
Your face fell into a slight scowl, something that often happened when you had to interact with her.
“We’re just looking,” you explain through your teeth, your hand protectively falling on Yuuji’s elbow. You feel him come closer to your side, cowering under her yellow, horrifyingly modified eyes.
Her brow perks at your tone. It was obvious the two of you weren’t going to get along, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Even if she had liked you and decided to put in more effort to show you off, even the most appealing District 11 tributes barely got any attention from Capitol citizens. You and Yuuji were doomed from the start.
You roll your eyes in annoyance, glancing over your shoulder to see the mob of people still crowding around the District 4 train, yelling and laughing in excitement as they try to see young Finnick Odair.
But the mob wasn’t what caught your attention. Nor was it the way Yuuji was tugging on your shirt sleeve to get you to start getting ready to leave.
Your breath hitched at the blue pair of eyes staring back across the platform, white brows furrowed as the two of you locked stares with each other. It wasn’t a mistake, as if he had been looking at someone near your direction. No, he was looking at the window, through it, as if into you.
The male tribute from District 1 watched you for a little more before his mentors ushered him away, into the tribute center, where you could no longer see him.
Your heart was pounding rapidly against your ribs, mouth dry as you swallowed thickly at a daunting thought,
He looked oddly…familiar.
—
Preparations for the opening ceremony took far longer than you expected.
You had been hosed down three times, had strangers mess around and poke at your arms and legs. They scrubbed your skin until it was raw, plucking and tweazing at your brows, waxing your legs, and making sure you looked somewhat presentable to everyone watching. Yuuji had been separated from you when they began dividing the tributes into the male and female categories, but you promised him through his tearful eyes that it would only take a bit.
How naively wrong you were.
The Capitol people were all chattering quietly, not wanting you to what anything as they worked meticulously on each twelve of the girl tributes. But you could hear in the distance some loud, pitched laughter, a woman squealing in excitement, and roars of laughter in slew.
Although you were all separated by curtains, you craned your neck a little to the side to peer at the sound, seeing a little bit from the gap. The girl tribute from District 1 was chattering away with her team, her smile glossy and sweet as they all talked together as if they were close friends.
This is how they get sponsors, you thought bitterly to yourself. Making friends wasn’t something you were used to, did not need it back in your district. Niceties didn’t help you survive, but it seemed that that was the only way to get ahead here.
“Don’t feel bad,” a soft voice said from above you, and you jumped in surprise, looking around to see one of the girl who was scrubbing your back give you a small grin, “They’re laughing extra loud because we have a bet going on to see which tribute is the biggest suck-up.”
She’s had fewer surgeries compared to the other people you’ve seen so far. She seems young, perhaps a little older than you, but she doesn’t have the artificial Capitol feel yet, as if she’s still clinging onto her last bits of humanity.
You try to hide the surprise on your face, but don’t do a very good job, seeing how the girl giggles at your reaction. She’s the first to speak to you, besides the others who barked orders at you like you were cattle, and despite the tension and rampant thoughts that are coursing through your mind, you feel your lips quirk up a little.
The other helpers had gone off to find some creams and lotions or…something, you don’t exactly remember, as they kept quickly saying things under their breath in a frantic way, leaving the two of you alone.
“You must be losing then,” you tell her, your voice lowered so that nobody could hear if they were passing by.
She snorts, fingers work deftly as they pluck some hairs off your neck.
“I’m actually winning,” she says matter-of-factly, “Girls from one always act above everyone. I’m treating my friends to drinks tonight.” You laugh lightly at her cheeky words, your cheeks bunching up under your smile.
Until it falters with a thought, your back tensing a little bit as she tweezes a particularly rebellious stray. What else do they think about us? About people from the districts? You swallow some bile, shutting your eyes to act indifferent.
“Do you also bet on who you think would win?”
Her hands pause, and you feel the air in the room shift slightly.
She coughs uncomfortably, and a part of you revels in making her feel uneasy. Like she was human. Like she was you.
“We’re not allowed to, um, bet, on…that,” she mutters quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, furiously trying to pluck at anything and everything as if that would make your initial question disappear.
Not us, you think, even if she could bet, she’d never bet on us.
“Although,” her voice squeaks out, and your ears twitch to hear the small sound, and she continues working like nothing is happening behind closed doors, and you wonder if the cameras in the corner could also pick up things this quiet. “There’s the male tribute. From one. His dad won the game years ago. He volunteered this year. If I could…”
Your blood freezes, your breathing hitching as you think back to those startling blue eyes. He’s the son of a past victor? He volunteered?
“But you’re really pretty!” The girl quickly scrambles to say, as if the damage hadn’t already been done, “I’m sure you’ll get a lot of sponsors!”
You nodded weakly, smiling a little bit to get her focused on her work as the other Capitol helpers started filing in with different assortments of perfumes and creams.
The two of you stay in silence after that, and you let the rhythmic beating of your heart drown out the rest of the noise around you. You wonder how much longer it would be until you couldn’t hear it.
—
The Chariot Parade is a time-honored tradition of the days leading up to the games.
Tributes are dressed up in elaborate costumes that reflect their respective districts and are drawn out on a chariot for all the Capitol and those watching to see. It helps sponsors get a better understanding of who they’ll be paying, and helps people decide who their favorites are going to be.
That meant for you and Yuuji, the tributes from 11 would be dressed in scratchy overalls and red flannels, a terribly executed version of what field workers wore back home.
The costumes were old and worn, barely fitting you as you climbed into them. The tributes from 12 don’t look any better in their coal mining uniforms, but you feel a surge of jealousy seeing how the 1 and 2 tributes are decked in sparkling dresses and suits.
“Well, you two look…” Drumesia, who had been trying to get your mentor away from the bar, looked peeved at your outfits, her eyes raking over the baggy costumes in distaste, “Better. Although they told me the stylists were giving us new outfits this year…” she muttered sourly, looking over your shoulder in search of someone to yell at.
But you couldn’t care too much as you looked around, getting your first good look at the other tributes.
Every boy and girl from each district was huddled with their teams, fretting over their bows and silks. However, many of them, like you, would take stealing glances every other second, their eyes darting around and then quickly fleeting back as if not wanting to be caught. But you couldn’t care much about people seeing you staring, but you did feel uncomfortable when you found them holding your stare longer than a beat.
Just like on that train. Just like now.
The boy from 1 was standing near one of the horses, his hands holding sugar cubes for it to eat, but his gaze wasn’t lingering on its face, but rather yours.
You feel a flicker of fear, knowing that he must’ve been ticked off from how you kept staring at him earlier, but he shouldn’t care that much, right? Especially not when the attention was coming from someone in a much lower district.
His eyes were a striking color, a sickeningly bright blue that shone even more as his costume caught the light and twinkled. His face was blank, void of any emotion, as he looked across the way.
You looked back at the ground after a second, shoving some pebbles with the tip of your boot.
“I don’t like these clothes,” you glance back down at Yuuji, who was tugging uncomfortably at his arms, his voice cracking as he tries not to cry from all the overwhelming things he’s feeling, “They feel weird - I want my old clothes back.”
His glassy chestnut eyes look into yours, his lips pulling into a frown as you shake your head, a smile on your face as you drop to his height and begin fiddling with the straps of his overalls.
Yuuji had a small and thin frame, even for someone as young as him. He was relatively short, reaching just above your hipbone and it didn’t help that his right leg was messed up badly from an accident he had when he was a kid, a common injury around your district. He limped whenever he walked and was often drowned out in a sea of bodies. But you did whatever you could to protect him now, not knowing how long you’d be able to.
“Then you’ll get new and better ones when you get back home, yeah?” You playfully tug a little on his chest and ruffle his strawberry blonde hair, watching his smile quirk up a bit as you fasten the laces of his boots.
Throughout your time since the Reaping, you’ve tried not to mention the arrival of the games as much as you could to him or anyone else. Your brain seemed to act as though forgetting them would make them disappear altogether.
“You look different,” he muttered quietly, a little bit of dejection in his voice, “You don’t look like you did before.”
You settled back in your haunches, lips pressed tightly together as you looked around all the strangely dressed mentors, Capitol escorts, and curiously rich citizens, and felt something twist in your stomach. They had stripped away the things that you held onto that resembled the parts of your family you had slowly forgotten, had ripped the hair off your legs and arms, and plucked your face so that you could look more modified like them.
But you knew the worst thing was that you no longer looked like you did a few weeks ago, like a girl from home. You looked like a tribute now, fully ready for the show.
“I know,” you tell him with a small pout, leading his fingers towards your face so he could run his hand across your eyebrows, “No longer bushy, huh?”
You wiggle them a bit, and he laughs, his cheeks filling with mirth as you try to make him forget about everything. He looked like he did back home now, his eyes for a second losing that sullenness he had gained during this last week.
“Get up!” Drumesia snapped from above you, her hand tugging you harshly to your feet by your shoulder, “Don’t let the sponsors see you sitting like…like some animal on the ground!”
Drumesia looks even more frightening than usual, with her hair dyed a bright blue and her outfit having a strange geometric look to it. Her iconic gloves, which she was never seen without, matched the blue color scheme she had going on. Even her lashes, which were so long that they fluttered against her cheek when she blinked, were blue.
“It was only for a second,” you say bitterly, your hand on Yuuji’s back as if to shield him from her wrath.
“And not a second-” But whatever lecture she was going to berate you with with cut short when a loud smack echoed around the high walls of the holding room.
Everyone seemed startled as they looked around at the noise, seeming to fall on the corner where the tributes from District 5 were. The girl, looking to be Yuuji’s age, had let out an especially loud whimper, her hand jumping up to cup her cheek. Her pale face was red and blotchy with tears, her mouth remembering, and her nose runny with snot. Her Capitol escort was standing with a distraught look on her face as she reeled her hand back in embarrassment.
The girl clutched her swollen cheek, the male tribute next to her trying to calm her down, but to no avail. You watched as the lady gripped her shoulder harshly, begging and scolding her to stop.
Before you could stop yourself, or better, Drumesia could, you felt your legs working on autopilot as you began taking steps closer to her. You could hear Drumesia’s voice urging you to come back, but you couldn’t, walking even faster towards the other group, ignoring the whispers that began filing around you like gnats.
The girl still had her eyes screwed shut, refusing to open them, but her escort and the male tribute perked up in surprise when they saw you coming their way, a sour look twisting on her face as you neared them.
“Tributes aren’t supposed to interact-”
You ignored her sneer as you pushed your way past her, getting closer to the girl as you fell back onto your knees, your hands resting on your lap.
The Capitol lady scoffed, looking around aghast to see where your escort was, but you fully pretended not to hear her protests.
“Hey,” you started gently, your tone soothing, the same way it was when you used to put the kids back home to sleep, “What's your name?” Your voice whispers so that only the girl can hear. She suddenly stopped, eyes wide open as she stared at your face, looking up at the male tribute and then back down to you in confusion and surprise.
She gapes a bit, licking her dry lips as one of her hands clutches onto the boy. She looks behind you at her escort before looking back at you.
“E-Evelyn,” she mumbles, whipping her nose with her elbow, using her small palms to rid the tears off her round cheeks.
You smile softly at that, repeating her name to yourself as you nod.
“You know, Evelyn,” your hands reach upwards to tuck a strand of her bright blonde curls behind her ears, leaning in closer as if you were sharing a secret, “My mom always said, the more curls, the prettier the girl.”
Evelyn blinks owlishly, her green eyes dotted with red in the whites, slowly piecing together what you meant. It must’ve been a bit since somebody had spoken to her kindly, treated her like she was a kid instead of a prop.
And slowly, you see her lips quiver into a wobbly little grin, her nose scrunching up as she bashfully looks away.
“Thank you,” she whispers, wiping at her eyes again as you laugh gently, grabbing the wrinkled handkerchief you took from home out of your pocket and hand it to her.
“She, uh,” the boy next to her suddenly says, pointing to her frilly outfit, “She said the pins were poking her. I tried to find them but one pricked her and she started…” crying, you finished in your head, nodding slowly in understanding, your mouth forming into a small o.
“Let’s see where the problem is,” you keep your voice low and accept the handkerchief that she gives back, “Would you mind showing me where the pins are?” You ask, coaxing her to carefully move at her own pace.
Evelyn nods, her hand slipping out of the boy's as she carefully turns around, a small hand hovering over where her skirt is bunched up tightly around her waist.
Your eyes squint, fingers gingerly going towards it as you walk around the area. Back when you took care of the mayor's children, you were often tasked with dressing them for the day and dealing with a wide array of pins and hooks. So this case wasn’t much different, and it didn’t take too long until you found the stray pin that wasn’t hooked properly, unraveling it from her skirt as you properly stuck it back where it should’ve been.
The girl physically relaxes, the tension from her shoulder melting as she quickly turns back around, her eyes bright and creased.
“Thank you!” She chirps, her hand slipping back into the boy's as she looks up at him and then back to you.
You laugh slightly, shaking your head as if it didn’t matter, and slowly stand back up, dusting the dirt from your knees.
The boy extended his free hand out for you to shake, and unlike with Drumesia, you took it with no thought, shaking it softly as he offered you a grateful smile.
“Thank you, really,” his voice was slightly choked as he glanced back down at Evelyn, “Our mom always did her clothes, this…this is all new to me.”
The smile on your face dropped.
She’s his sister?
Your mouth dries up, throat closing as you look at the two of them, their eerily similar stances and faces staring back at you, waiting for a response.
Thankfully, though, you suddenly feel a tight hand wrap around your elbow and tug you back, forcing you to leave without saying anything else. For the first time since you’ve been acquainted with her, you’re grateful for Drumesia as she starts a loud tirade about the sponsors and how you’ve just ruined her image.
But this time, you look around and see that all eyes are on you. Every tribute was standing tall, watching as Drumesia took you back to the carriage, sponsors whispering quickly to one another.
You glanced up and found the boy from 1 staring at you again. But this time, you could’ve sworn his lips were slightly quirked.
—-
Training for the games was perhaps even more torturous than waiting for the games themself.
The games will be in two weeks. Training allowed for everyone to have an even playing field, but everyone knew how useless it really was when some people had been training to win ever since they could pick up a knife.
There were four compulsory exercises that all twenty-four tributes would have to do, but the rest would be up to the individual.
Twenty-four tributes gathered together in a room, some already itching for blood, handed weapons and targets as if that could satiate their thirst. Of course, fighting with each other was prohibited, but that didn’t stop the other tributes thinking about it.
The training room itself was huge, with sprawling areas for hand-to-hand combat, bow and arrow ranges, dummies for practice, and weights to lift with. Some nets sprawled upwards towards the ceiling, helping with climbing, and areas that imitated forest floors where people could practice their traps and make fire.
At the center top of the main wall was a large dugout room with a mirror, letting sponsors and game makers watch as the tributes trained. It felt like you were in a pig pen, having thirsty men drool over which was the fattest to eat. Many of the tributes took quick note of this, showing off their skills early on as if to catch their eyes. You shook your head when Yuuji begged you to show off your skill with one of the scythes they had, most likely knowing how much you’d spend time in the fields back home.
Not now, you told him, we can’t have them knowing our talents. We save that for the arena.
Capitol mentors were everywhere, assisting and keeping people from jumping at each other's throats, but you tried to avoid the masses as much as possible.
Your district mentor, Martin, wasn’t much help. He was often drunk and rarely left his room, much to Drumesia’s dismay. But you knew that this was the case for lower districts, having had a glance at District 12’s mentor Haymitch, who seemed, if not as much, more drunk than Martin. Former victors never revel in their success, you’ve noticed, and if anything, try to leave the land of the living as much as possible throughout the day.
Yuuji insisted on using a Capitol issued mentor, and you didn’t see any harm in it as long as the two of you would be with them alone. You weren’t looking to make allies, just looking to survive for as long as humanly possible.
You had been warned early on not to focus too much on grandiose fighting methods, seeing how most people die either from infection, dehydration, or general exposure. Besides, you doubt you’d be able to defend both of you if put up against a Career, so the best you could do would be knowing how to survive in the wild with whatever you could find.
Both you and Yuuji had some previous knowledge from back home, knowing how to make little fires for when the fields got cold during the winters and where to find wild berries, but you began learning how to set out traps for smaller animals in case your arena had them.
Throughout your time here, you made sure ot keep your ears and eyes peeled, even if you didn’t act like it. Although Yuuji seemed to be massively enjoying himself with the wire and flint, you acted indifferent, making sure to see who was looking where.
Slowly, from what you could observe thus far, the alliances that were forming were small and expected. The Careers were a given, and some tribute from seven and ten had begun leaving with each other. Yuuji kept asking to join in with a group, but you kept saying no.
You saw Evelyn and her brother, Maxmus, learning how to make snares a day ago. When he saw you, he gave a small nod in acknowledgement and went back to work, clearly thinking the same thing you were.
Protect one thing. No allies, no loss.
Besides that, the boy from 1, who you learned was named Gojo Satoru, didn’t look as much as you thought he would. Thankfully. But it was almost impossible to ignore his presence when it nearly choked out the entire room.
He was adept with a bow and sword, and could easily take down a mentor with just a few swings. He was agile and strong, and didn't need to move too fast because he was already three steps ahead. The girl tribute from his district, Lizzie, you had come to learn, often trailed behind him with the tributes from 2 and 4, their pack already forming. But the boy, Gojo, didn’t really seem to care all that much about the attention.
And sometimes you could’ve sworn he disliked it.
But when he would look up and glance around the room to see you already looking, you’d find somewhere to point your gaze at, not wanting him to confuse your interest with admiration.
Although you couldn’t lie, his face was far too pretty for his own good.
“I think you have a little crush.”
Your head swiveled around to see Yuuji looking at you with a gleaming look in his eyes, snorting as you smacked him across the shoulder, shushing him as he giggled and went back to his pile of shrubbery he was supposed to be turning into fire.
“I’m being meticulous,” you scold him, your cheeks burning up in embarrassment despite your words, “Look,” you pointed to someone behind your shoulder, “Have you noticed how the girl from 6 never uses her right hand to hold a sword even though she holds her spoon with it?”
Yuuji gapes up at you in confusion, his young face crumpled with confusion as he shakes his head. You snort, pushing his head back down lightly to look at the fire instead of looking at the girl behind your back.
“It’s because it’s injured, or too injured to fight,” you peek over at Yuuji, “Meaning that she won’t be able to protect herself if the left one is injured. Which should be pretty easy because it’s not her dominant one.”
Yuuji gnaws on his bottom lip, fingers stalling on the rock as his hand stops trying to make sparks with the rock he had scavenged, a look of apprehension taking over his face.
“I don’t know how to see things like that,” he mumbles nervously, “I don’t know how I’m going to survive-”
“We’re going to survive together,” you say instantly, cutting him off, “I see these things, and you keep us warm. Deal?”
And although this would usually get him to cheer up again, he can only muster up a weak grin as he nods, going back to his rocks as if to keep his mind busy from reeling. You can’t stop looking at his head, at the way his hands shake slightly. He’s scared.
You all are.
You place a hand over his, trying to still the tremors, and give him a strong and confident smile.
“I’ll go get some more wood, okay?”
He gives you a thankful nod, looking back at his pile that was slowly running out, and goes back to work.
The wood was kept near the back of the station, in different sizes ranging from little twigs to actual logs that had been chopped up. Back in your district, you had spent many nights hunched over trying to make a fire, so you weren’t worried about your ability to do so. But Yuuji was always in the production line, away from all the ruggedness of the outdoors, and desperately needed the practice.
Your finger twitches over some smaller pieces, things that he could work with more easily, seeing how there’s no need for a larger fire when you feel your neck start to prickle.
Looking around the space, you swallow your bile, chapped lips bitten raw as you shake your head as though you were going crazy.
“That wood’s rotten.”
Your breath catches in your throat, head snapping upwards at the voice, somewhat relieved to know that the feeling of being watched you experienced wasn’t something you thought up.
It’s that boy—the tribute from one.
Gojo Satoru.
This is the first time you’ve heard him speak, at least from up close. He seems even larger facing you, his thick arms crossed over his broad chest, biceps nearly bulging out of the simple black shirt everyone was issued. His browbone is slightly dotted with sweat, his cheeks flushed a bright pink from working out so heavily.
Besides the glaringly obvious strength he possesses, he looks genetically perfect, even without any help from the Capitol. He’s beautiful and looks like he’d fit right in without having to modify anything. Back home, you didn’t have much time to appreciate the boys around your district with just how busy you were, but even then, none of them had time to look at you for the same reason. It’s daunting standing up so close to him, without the protection of distance to shield you from his stare.
But there was something else about him that made your nerves tingle. It was strange, as if looking at a broken mirror. His hair, those eyes, the slope of his nose. You kept trying to shake off the feeling that you had seen him somewhere, but that was impossible.
…right?
Yet that feeling kept coming back like it did now, and you had to blink out of your stupor so he wouldn’t think you were just staring at him.
You open your mouth and close it, fingers curling in the air as you back away a little. The place you’re at right now is hidden away from most people’s line of sight. Yuuji would even have to squint through some of the artificial trees and bushes just to be able to make out your figure.
Meaning that you were virtually alone with this stranger. Along with someone who would be in an arena with you in two weeks, his main goal is to have you and everyone else dead.
“I know,” you say slowly, eyes darting over to the wood briefly and then back to him.
He looks over your face, as if doing the same thing you had just been doing. His eyes trail over your cheekbones and nose, the scrunch of your lips, and the way your chest falls up and down with each controlled breath. He runs a hand through his white hair, pushing it back as he takes a tentative step closer to you.
You take one back.
“You’ve been watching me.” His voice isn’t low, nothing threatening like the boy from 2, but it does carry a sense of command, something that makes the hair on your neck stand up.
You offer him a tight-lipped smile, polite and respectful as you shake your head.
“I’m watching everyone,” you correct him gingerly, as if you were correcting one of the mayor’s kids when they made a mistake with their schoolwork.
He stares at you silently for a bit, not coming closer as if he realized what that could imply.
“I’m Gojo,” he introduces himself as if you’re not already aware, his hand extended out for you to shake. You stare at his fingers, your brow twitching upwards as he gets the hint and lets this hand fall back to his side.
“Yeah,” you murmur, “I know who you are.”
You look back down at the pile of twigs, missing the way the tips of his ears go pink.
After a pause, you sigh, realizing that he wasn’t going to give up and leave, and say your name back. He doesn’t look surprised, most likely knowing more about yourself than even you do.
There’s an uncomfortable pause of silence, one that you feel wrap around your throat and lodge into your airways. He’s not saying anything, just looking at you, and you don’t know what to tell him so that he can quickly leave.
“I, um,” you fidget absentmindedly with your fingers, scolding yourself for blundering in front of him, “I’m sorry, but is there something I can do? For you?”
Gojo’s blue eyes linger on your lips for a second before shooting back up to yours, brows furrowed as if he just heard your question.
He scratched his neck, arms littered with veins, as he sighed deeply through his nose. He looked over briefly around the trees and leaves to where the other tributes from 1 and 2 were training, and then looked to the boxes of wood.
“I want you to join me.”
That you didn’t expect.
You sputter in surprise, losing your demeanor as your eyes widen in shock before you let out a startled laugh. You never thought this serious-looking tribute would be one for jokes, and to be fair, he doesn’t look like he’s joking much right now, but your brain can’t come up with any rapid and precise response to his statement.
“W-what?” You laugh again, curt and confused, rubbing at your face as you look at where Yuuji was, still furiously working away at making a fire.
“I want you to join me,” he repeats, this time slowly as if you didn’t understand him the first time, “For the games.” Gojo throws in, as if it wasn’t obvious.
You shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose as you chew on the side of your cheek, not knowing what to say after being stunned into silence.
When he sees that you’re not going to say anything intelligible, he continues as if it’s the most normal thing he could be asking of you.
“We hear things, especially with how much our mentors and escorts talk,” Gojo explains, “And you’re getting a…surprising amount of,” he pauses, trying to find the right word, “Attention from the sponsors.”
You blink.
“Me?” You shake your head furiously, diving back into the pile of wood as if to busy yourself and distance yourself from the conversation, “It’s probably just Capitol rumors. I,” you laugh curtly again, “I haven’t even done anything to warrant attention-”
“That thing you did back there with that girl from 5?” Gojo interjects, and you look up at him, finding him a little closer than before, “They like that. They see the way you’re helping that boy from your district. They love a sweetheart over here.”
You wince, nose wrinkling in disgust at the choice word.
So he needs sponsors, you think, just as much as everyone else. He needs you with him in case he gets stuck in the arena, needing something that only sponsors can give.
But…even if his ploy is just to use you for sponsor purposes, which you still had difficulty believing, it would take an idiot not to see the worth of having someone like him around. You and Yuuji would fail miserably if put up against people for combat, and the added layer of protection you’d be getting from Gojo could help you guys stay long enough so that when the time came, you could escape on your own.
Which is why you push, wanting to see just how far he would go for an alliance with somebody from a lower district. It wasn’t necessarily unheard of, but you couldn’t remember the last time you saw somebody from 1 joining forces with somebody from 11, let alone somebody like you who had virtually no experience or expertise to offer besides how to use agricultural tools.
“You could use the help,” it’s like he had read your mind, “I know that your mentor and escort aren’t exactly the best, and you’d have a better chance with us if you took up the offer,” Gojo explains hurriedly, looking over his shoulder to ensure that nobody was watching or coming near.
It was obvious he had sought you out of his own accord. Did the girl tribute from his district know? Were any of the careers aware he was even planning to talk to you?
“Did your mentors send you here?” You ask, eyes squinting together, arms crossing tightly over chest protectively, “Do they think I’d seriously be better at getting sponsors than you? Then any of the other people in your group?”
Gojo shook his head quickly, glancing over to where the pack was training. His tongue ran over his bottom lip. He looked strangely stressed.
“No. But I think that you have a chance at securing more deals than all of us combined if you play the part correctly.”
Your chest heaves as your tongue almost swells up in your throat. As much as a lame excuse of a mentor Martin was, he had mentioned that you really only had three chances to stand out to sponsors. During training, during training evaluations where gamemakers and sponsors watch you display your best skill or talent, or during the interview, where the renowned Caesar Flcikerman would dig into your life and show the people watching who these tributes were.
“You think I’m someone like…like Finnick?” The name comes out as a scoff because from what you’ve seen of the young victor, he’s excellent at wooing people even if his face gives his true feelings away, “I can’t do what you think I can,” you say sternly, picking up some wood and examining it before setting it back down on the pile, “I won’t charm sponsors like he could. I just…” you trail off, lips pursing as you think, “I just wanted to help.”
“You think they know the difference?” His voice is low, so low that you could barely hear it, but it still takes you by surprise.
Of all people, you didn’t think he would be one to criticize the hypocrisy within the Capitol.
Your back straightened, but for the first time since you’ve been whirled into this whole mess of the Hunger Games and the theatrics that came along with it, you felt a little at ease.
“What,” You swallow, thinking carefully, “What sponsors think is out of my control. I just want to survive.”
“I can help with that,” Gojo leans in, his arm supporting him up on the counter as he leans down so that even if the cameras were around, they couldn’t pick up his words, wanting to keep what he was going to say next solely between the two of you, “I can help you. Look, if you get enough sponsors, we wouldn’t even need the rest of them.”
You pull away, you face hot as you put a hand to your cheek to cool it down. His overall demeanor was so intense that it was causing you to burn up under your clothes.
Help you?
“Do you trust people this easily?” You retort, your voice questioning as you look him over, “Help me? You…you don’t even know me. How do you know I wouldn’t turn on you the second things go wrong?”
Gojo blinks slowly, but you continue.
“I don’t care about the rest of them,” you continue, finding yourself looking back at Yuuji, “I know they’dl kill me if they have the chance. But I’m not leaving him behind. If you want me, you’d have to take him on too.”
Gojo looks over his way, studying his movements before a deep exhale rattles throughout his chest, running another hand through his hair as it keeps falling in his face.
“You know he won’t make it long. He’s small, he’s got a limp-”
“So what?” You snap suddenly, your brows furrowed as you smack his hand away from the wood, your stomach churning as the small breakfast you could barely eat threatened to shoot back up, his words making the blood drain out of your face as you sputtered, “You want me to just let him go on his own?”
“The others will come for him first, you have to know that, but…but if it’s just you-”
“No!” You yell, furiously pushing him by the chest out of the way as your hands tremble with anger, “No, no that’s not…you’re…you can’t…” You can’t even think, nausea rolling over you in waves as your palms grow clammy. He’s every bit a fighter as you thought he was.
A killer, a Capitol pawn.
You grab a pile of wood, not caring what it looks like or how well it would burn, as you begin walking quickly away, your heart pounding in the small expanse of your ribcage.
A hand wraps around your elbow, not tight, but to keep you in place.
“Think about it. This isn’t some game where we all win,” his lips are by your ears, breath fanning across your skin as you involuntarily shiver, “One victor. I won’t spare you if it comes down to us, but I’ll help you get there. Just,” he breathes through his nose, “Be rational.”
You wince as you wrangle your arm out of his grasp with little resistance from him, ignoring his words altogether.
“You’re disgusting,” you spit, nose flared as you shove away, “I told you already, I’m not here to win,” the words come out bitterly, a harsh truth you’ve had to swallow, “I know I won’t. And I’m not a killer. I’m not like you.”
In that moment, you didn’t care if you were putting a target on your back by making an enemy out of the most capable tribute. You couldn’t care less if you were angering or offending him, but couldn’t control your emotions as they bubbled over, your eyes glossing over at his admission, something you’ve silently been dreading ever since they read Yuuji’s name.
You find your way back Yuuji, ears ringing as you try to talk, not knowing what you were telling him, just wanting to rid yourself of the words that kept echoing around your head. Yuuji was excitedly showing you the sparks he had made, and you gave him a shaky smile, not trusting yourself not to slur your words together as you crouched down near the fire.
Think about it.
You scoff, hoping that whoever dies first will be him.
—-
The training evaluation went better than you expected.
Tributes are scored on a range of numbers zero to twelve, lowest the highest. Most people usually score around a five or six, careers averaging a seven to nine.
You had scored a ten.
It wasn’t impossible, but you were shocked when the scores were read.
Gojo Satoru got a whopping eleven, which anybody could have predicted he’d be passing with flying colors. The tributes from two and four got around the same scores, eights, and the boy from ten had managed to score a seven, which was high for a lower district.
Which made it stand out even more when you got the first ten.
“Oh!” Drumesia stood up from her seat in an instant, one hand over her heart as the other held her wig on, “Oh my! A ten!”
Yuuji was gleaming, hugging you from the side as he kept yelling over and over things you couldn’t make out. Martin was somewhere in the corner, the drink he had been nursing raised halfway in the air, eyes stuck on the television in shock.
“This is great!” Drumesia twirls around, the first bright smile you’ve seen on her face, so bright it nearly blinded you because of how white her teeth were, “None of my tributes have ever gotten a ten before!”
You can’t speak, feeling numb with surprise, shock, everything in between as Caesar Flickerbman continues reading off the last two scores from 12, neither of them any good.
“What did you do?” Yuuji asked, his voice laced with childlike wonderment as his eyes twinkled, looking like you were a savior instead of someone who wholly had no idea what they were doing.
Your mouth opened and closed, scratching the back of your neck as you felt it heat up with all the extra attention.
“Nothing,” you stammered, confusion laced in your tone, “I did nothing.”
Drumesia laughed, waving you off as she fluttered around the expanse of the room, saying something about champagne and strawberries, but you didn’t have the appetite for anything.
You truly had done nothing.
You had planned with Yuuji to show off your knowledge with some tools you recognized from back home and let him make the fire, but when it was your name they called from the training room, you froze, forgetting everything you had practiced.
When you walked across the now-empty room, staring directly at the game makers and sponsors, Gojo’s words rang in your head.
They love a sweetheart over here.
So instead, you decided to do nothing. If they love a sweetheart so much, you want them to see you for as long as humanly possible. You wanted them to stare into your eyes for the entirety of the ten minutes, to see the way your bones made up your face, bones of your parents that lay six feet under. You wanted them to see the synchronized way you breathed, how you looked under the light. It was an act of defiance, something they probably wouldn’t even understand, but the rage and pain you were feeling boiled down to this very moment.
For ten minutes, you stood there silently, your neck craning upwards as you stared directly into their eyes. The crowd slowly grew bigger and bigger behind that window, curious sponsors muttering to each other in anticipation of what you were planning to do.
But the longer you did nothing, the more people came.
When your time was up, you gave them one final look before you turned on your heels and left. With Yuuji and Drumesia waiting outside in the sitting area, Yuuji looking excited while Drumesia looking particularly worrisome, you didn’t have the heart to tell them what you had done. Didn’t want them to stress about the low score you’d be receiving. So you lied, saying you put on a mediocre performance with the weapons they had lying around.
You could’ve just told them the truth as you reflect on it now.
A ten? For doing nothing? What were they up to? What were they thinking?
You tallied the other scores in your head and felt your stomach drop. Besides you, the only other person with the highest score was…
Gojo.
This score not only put a target on your back, making all the other tributes wonder just what it was that you were hiding, but also made you higher on their priority list to get rid of. And what’s worse is that you weren’t hiding anything, and had no means to truly defend yourself or Yuuji. The careers would surely be after the two of you know if they weren’t before, but so would the other tributes.
This score wasn’t a gift. It was a death sentence.
“Here we are,” Drumesia restored with her clacking heels and a tray balancing four glasses and a bowl of strawberries, the bottle in her other hand, “A toast to my future victor!”
Your stomach churned even more. Victor. Singular.
She was just being woefully optimistic, you knew that. Her hopes were raised seeing how tributes from outlying districts rarely score above a six, and that there would be more attention on her this year, but it didn’t stop the bitter taste from costing your mouth.
Yuuji didn’t even notice because of how excited he was bouncing up and down in his seat, almost snatching the glass from her hand when she offered it to him.
“Yuuji!” You seethed under your breath, going to grab the glass from him, but he maneuvered it quickly away, sticking his tongue out as he stood up in front of Drumesia with it ready to be filled.
“Oh, it’s just a little bit,” she chided, filling up his glass a little bit.”He should have some of it while he’s still here!”
Your eyes flit up to hers.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice dipped. Yuuji, who was now holding the glass in both his hands, slowly walked away as he and Martin eyed the two of you.
Drumesia shrugs indifferently, pouring Martin his own, even though he wasn’t even finished with the first drink he had started on, and then one for herself. Finally, she fills the last one to the brim, yours, and outstretched her gloved hand towards your body.
You don’t take it.
She tsks, annoyed, setting it down on the table as she raises hers in the air, clinking it with Yuuji’s and Martin’s as she takes a sip, clearly not caring enough to wait for you.
“There’s no champagne in the games, you know,” she finally says, one hand resting on her hip as her glass hovers above her lips. “The two of you should make the most of what the Capitol has to offer. Right, Yuuji?” She looked down at him, and he glanced at you, as if asking for permission whether he should agree with her or not.
“Stop!” You shout, your hands fisting in your hair in frustration as you shove past her, ignoring her yelp as the drink spills a little on the floor, grabbing the light coat that you had been issued from the stand near the elevator.
“Where are you going?” She calls out, her feet trying to catch up to you, but her heels slow her down.
“Away!” You snap, glancing over your shoulder with a snarl, punching the buttons of the elevator, hoping one of them would open, “Don’t follow me!”
“But!-” Drumesia’s voice is cut off as you quickly step inside, pressing the button that would shut the door automatically, and you let out a small sigh of relief to find yourself alone.
You feel guilty for leaving Yuuji, but you know you’d have taken your anger out on everyone, maybe even him, if you had stayed for any longer.
The elevator hums quietly as the numbers at the top start ticking down. You had pushed whatever button was nearest, which was apparently the ground floor. You didn’t mind too much, revealing a small rose garden hidden near the exit that seemed pretty secluded the last time you walked past it.
After a few minutes, the tribute center was very tall, the doors hissed as they opened, and the smell of car exhaust and flowers infiltrated your senses as you tentatively took a step outside.
You were told that tributes were allowed to go wherever they wanted so long as it was on the grounds, and you hoped that this extended to the open lobby because when you looked around, you felt a strange sense of home.
In 11, trucks and cars were rare, but tractors were used a lot out on the fields. The smell of the gasoline was something you grew up on. The flowers, a wide array, reminded you of the little garden the mayor's wife had. Whenever you’d walk past it, you could smell hints of gardenias and sweet peas.
You looked around, the bright lights of the skyscrapers and Capitol buildings shining extra bright with the veil of the night, and you wrapped your coat around you even tighter as you kept your head down, walking back towards where the rose bushes were kept.
You could smell them before you saw them, although they’d be impossible to miss. Large white roses bloomed from the ground, their existing sense filling the night air as you walked closer.
There was a small bench facing them, overlooking the rest of the city, and you looked around to make sure that nobody else was there. When you were satisfied that Drumeisa hadn't followed you down, you sat down, shutting your eyes as you let the noises from below drown out all your other senses.
You were about to let out a small yawn when you heard the unmistakable thump of footsteps from behind you, your body snapping upwards as you looked wildly around.
You couldn’t help the groan that escaped your lips when you saw him.
Gojo looks just as surprised to see you, cerulean eyes shooting open as his mouth parts, looking around to see if anybody else is there.
You push yourself off the seat, about to walk the other way, when he speaks.
“Don’t go,” his voice is quiet, his hands raised upwards as if he was surrendering, “I promise I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Your lips purse together in annoyance, staying silent as you peer him up and down. He’s wearing a simple black shirt and loose pants, the number 1 printed on his sleeves. He looked like he was about to go to sleep before he made his way here.
You exhale deeply, shaking your head at yourself as you give up, slowly falling back where you were sitting in silence. As much as you’d rather not see the other tributes, especially him, anywhere would be better than hearing Drumesia drone on about the wonders of the Capitol and the inevitability of your impending deaths.
Gojo takes your silence as a good sign, carefully making his way past you to the other side of the bench as he sits down, his face trained forward.
You bring a knee up to your chest, wrapping your arms around it as your jaw ticks. There’s a little breeze ruffling through the air, goosebumps erupting across your arms despite them being covered.
“I saw your score,” he started, still not looking over at you as he interlocks his fingers together, blinking as he takes in the astonishing view of the Capitol skyline, “It really pissed Lizzie off.”
You find a little chuckle escape in spite of yourself, the sound causing Gojo to look over, brows raised in stupefaction.
Lizzie, the girl tribute from 1, had gotten a measly score of six, despite having shown off her talents with a sword for the past two weeks.
“Well, tell her not to get her hopes up. I’m pissed off too.” You tell him, biting your tongue as a car beeps and people shout muffled in the distance.
“You wanted higher than a ten?” He stammers confused, “I nearly…” but he trails off when you give him a displeased look, shutting up as you roll your eyes in annoyance, muttering things under your breath.
“I wish they’d given me a one,” you say, “That would’ve made more sense. They made me out to be some sort of…” but you stop, not knowing why you were even telling this stranger the truth.
Then your brows scrunch up together as you think, head whipping around to him as you scoff, nose wrinkling in pure rage as you quickly shoot to your feet, working out his plan, gripping your face for your stupidity.
Of course, he, of all people, would try to track you down after they read the scores. Of course, he’d want to see what his biggest competition had done, to see what you were capable of. He had mastered fighting in that academy, but he must’ve mastered the art of deception because he was eerily good at making it feel like he was just being friendly.
You make it almost ten steps before that similar hold falls on your elbow. Not tight, not harsh, but there.
“Get off!” You yell hoarsely, your eyes glassy for some reason, as you turn around and push roughly at his chest, “What? You’re stalking me now? You came down here to find out my secrets?” You don’t know why tears are welling up in your eyes, wiping furiously at your cheeks as you sniffle.
You were tired of these games that had started before you arrived. You would’ve preferred it if they had just lined twenty-four people up from the districts and shot at them until one remainder. Because you could handle the mind games, the insincerity, the morbid curiosity of it all. It was nearly drowning you alive, and you didn’t know what to do.
You wanted to go home. You missed the wheat fields and the nights filled with laughter and music. You missed the dancing and the meals scraped together by whatever people could find. You missed the smell of dirt and wood, missed feeling like you belonged. Even if you were alone, you were always surrounded by people who cared.
Here in the Capitol, you were alone. Everyone had a goal in mind and didn't know what it cost to reach it. You had spent so much time trying to take care of Yuuji and ward off Drumesia and the rest of the gnat-like citizens that only when you took a step back did you realize how utterly alone you were.
So a part of you took that frustration out on this stranger, somebody you’ve been eyeing since you got here. You let your hands hit his sturdy chest, surprised to see that he doesn’t move or try to push you back. Your hits are weak, your voice hoarse and raw as you push at him harder, not understanding or comprehending why he wasn’t leaving, why he had come up to you all those days ago trying to make an ally out of you.
Or why, for some reason, it seemed like out of everyone here, he seemed to actually care. Even if it was just an act.
But Gojo stays where he is, a crease in between his brows as he takes the hits, jaw clenched tight as they gradually die down. You feel weak, open, and raw in front of this tribute who, days from now, would be hunting you down. But for some reason, he doesn’t push you away.
There’s a heavy silence before he speaks up.
“Why did you help that girl from 5?”
You look up at him, bewildered. You take a small step away, scoffing at the ridiculous question, but he takes a step forward as if he’s scared you’re going to run away again.
“Why did you shake her brother's hand?” Gojo continues, some strands of his hair falling into his face, but he doesn’t bother pushing them away.
Your mouth parts as you shrug, giving him a weird look as you give a curt and uncomfortable laugh.
“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, “I thought she needed help, so I went over.”
Gojo nods, his jaw ticking as he looks over at the Capitol. The diamond-like lights and the ruby shadows that emanated from the city reminded him of the jewels he saw back home.
“Would you have helped them today? Tomorrow? Would you help them during the games if you had to?”
“What are you trying to say?” You snap, frustrated at his urgent tone and the fact that it seemed like he knew more than you, “That I should’ve just killed them there?”
Gojo snorts mirthlessly, shaking his head as it falls for a bit, looking at the intricate patterns on the brick beneath him as he takes a deep breath.
“In three days, we’re all going to be standing around each other with a clock counting down how long we have before one of us is left. I’ve spent these last weeks trying to figure out what it is that everyone plans to do, and for the most part, I have a pretty good fucking idea of what that is. If you want to die like a martyr, that’s fine. If you want to make a statement, I don’t care. Just,” he chuckles, but it sounds empty, “What is it you want to do?” Gojo doesn’t sound like he’s trying to get you to tell him your secret to scoring a ten, nor does it look like he’s reached his wits about strategies of getting an upper hand on all of his opponents.
If anything, it almost looks like he’s…worried for you.
There’s a stretch of silence, one that you shut your eyes and have to imagine it’s just you and nothing else before you respond.
You know you don’t owe him an answer. You know this person who couldn't care less about how you died should hear the why, but you answer because you don’t know what else there is to do in the madness of it all.
“I want to go home,” you admit finally, quietly, you voice frayed and cheeks glistening in the lights of the city, looking away as you speak as if that could spare you the embarrassment of letting your emotions go in front of this person you’ve barely spoken to, “I know it’s stupid. I don’t have anyone waiting for me back there anyways. But,” you shrug limply, chewing on your cheek, “But it was still home, you know? If I died there, people would know I did. They’d eat dinner before they put me in the dirt, they’d sing a song or two. But if,” but you stop yourself, correcting your choice of words, “When I die out there, I know I’m going to die with nobody I know near me. And…and I’m so scared. I,” your breathing hitched, your bottom lip quivering, “I don’t want to die alone.”
You don’t hear him say anything, but you’re not looking for a response. You feel a little lighter saying this, even if it was to someone who couldn’t care less, but it was something that you’d been simmering in for the past three weeks and couldn’t keep it in anymore.
“Why are you so sure you’re not going to win?”
His question startles you.
You can’t help but laugh, rubbing a hand across your face as you step back from him, not knowing why it is that whenever he’s around you suddenly feel more open than usual.
“Because I won’t!” You burst, a maniacal smile on your face as your hands fly upwards. “Besides the fact that I’ll be up against twenty-two other people - some way more skilled than me - what reasons would I have to even try? I have nothing to win and nothing to lose.” You pinch the bridge of your nose in exhaustion, gnawing on your chapped lips as you huff out a meaningless laugh, “You know, I did nothing for the evaluation.”
Gojo’s eyes flash a bright blue, lips quirked up slightly.
“Well, it surely couldn’t have been nothing-”
“I did nothing,” you repeat, “I was supposed to have a demonstration with some old tools like we had back in 11 but I choked up. I couldn’t think of anything to make that would make my time worth it. So I just,” you let out a humorless laugh, “I just stood there. I looked at them for those ten minutes. I wanted them to remember my face. I wanted them to see what I looked like before they killed me. That seemed more important than anything else we had planned.”
Gojo observes your expression, trying to see if you are lying or not. But unbeknownst to him, you were a terrible liar; you couldn’t tell a good lie even if your life depended on it. After another second of trying to assess you, he let out a little laugh, something boyish and almost…sweet, when he realized you were being completely honest with him.
Your face falls for a second, not knowing what to do as another laugh bubbles out of his chest. He’s been so poised and controlled these last few weeks that it doesn’t even register in your brain that it’s him who’s laughing in front of you.
“If only Lizzie knew,” Gojo sighed out after a minute, his eyes filled with mirth, “That she’d be training her whole life for this and still be bested by someone who did nothing.”
You can’t stop yourself from smiling a little bit, trying to suppress it to the best of your abilities. You look to the ground as a small giggle escapes your lips, but Gojo still stares at the crown of your head, not knowing why his cheeks were heating up when it looked like you were trying your hardest not to laugh in front of him after having a breakdown.
He felt his throat dry up, palms sweating as he quickly looked the other way, his head ducking down so that you wouldn’t see the blush painting his face.
“I saw that Yuuji got a five,” he says after another moment, and you glance up at him, your face hardening up in seconds as if you remember your previous conversation. “That’s good,” he adds softly, and you nod shortly, gnawing on your bottom lip, deep in thought.
The tears you thought had gone away sting again, and you laugh them away, looking at the sparkling lights of the city as you let yourself believe for a second that you belonged here.
“His brothers and I worked together. His mom made me food for a month after my parents died, even when they were barely surviving on their own. Yuuji,” you let out a deep breath. “Yuuji is a good kid. He’s so, so sweet. He cares about people. He just turned twelve a month ago,” and you suffocate on a sob, your head falling into your hands. “He was so excited to celebrate it, too. His dad had taken time off so they could be with each other, but…that was a week ago, and Yuuji was here.”
You give him a sad smile, teeth catching on your lips as you blink slowly.
“I know you don’t understand why I don’t want to win, but I think that if I even entertain the idea, I’d lose a part of myself that makes me me. I don’t want them,” You look around the open venue, let the sound of the traffic and parties float around you for a second, “I don’t want them to change me. When I die, I want to die the person I would’ve back home.”
The boy in front of you watches the way you move, studies you like he’s studying a book. But it’s more careful than that, it is as if he’s trying to memorize every little detail of you so he could tuck it away and use it for later.
Eventually, he lets out a small heave, his lips pursing as his hands perch on his hips.
“Can I ask you another question?” his voice drops to a whisper, stepping closer to you.
This time, you don’t step back.
Your brows furrow, thinking. When you don’t shut him down instantly, he takes the silence as his go-ahead to continue.
“Don’t you remember me?”
You feel the blood roar into your ears.
Gojo opens his mouth to say something else, but what that was, you’ll never know. A shrill and loud voice comes from behind you. The two of you flinch, looking over your shoulder to see Drumesia stalking towards you, her face twisted together as if she had just eaten a lemon.
“It’s past your hours!” She shouts, having her gloved hands around manically as she nears you, not controlling the shock on her face to see the new and rising Capitol darling standing just a few feet away from you. But you’ll give her credit, she recovers wonderfully.
“And you! You should be in your quarters!” She snakes a hand around your arm, tugging harshly as she pulls you nearer and nearer to the elevator. You can hear the insistent and rapacious questions she’s asking you; how do you know this tribute, what were you discussing, are you allying with him? And so on, but you couldn’t answer any of them; your attention was somewhere else.
You look back to see Gojo still standing there, looking at you with a strange look in his eyes. He lifts his hand, in a small wave, and gives you an even smaller, barely visible smile. You don’t know what to do, but you’re not able to return his gesture as the elevator door shuts and whirs the two of you up back to the District 11 quarters.
You think with trepidation that the next time you will see Gojo would be tomorrow night.
At the tribute interviews.
—-
“Cameras on in three, two…!”
The interviews were hectic.
Besides the fact that tomorrow morning would mark the beginning of this year's Hunger Games, the tribute interviews were like a pre-show for what everybody watching should expect.
Caesar Flickerman, the eccentric host, kept the show alive and energetic. It was his job. You couldn’t imagine what they would do to him if he failed at doing so.
Every year, he comes out with a new hair color, and this year his hair was ironically a bright white, his brows matching. However, unlike Gojo, it was obvious that his hair had been dyed extensively.
“Just remember to stand tall and smile!” Drumesia was tittering about like a canary, moving between you and Yuuji as she straightened his bow tie and fixed the creases of your dress.
Your outfits had slightly upgraded since the chariot ceremony, but were still miles behind some of the other clothes the tributes were wearing.
Word of your kind and loving character had spread around, and the stylist who gave up for the first round seemed excited to make you something new this year.
The dress was long and pale blue, the sleeves cutting off at your shoulders as the satin bodice sat heavily on your chest like a shield. It was supposed to make you look open, but you couldn’t help but notice the uncanny resemblance it had to some of the housemaid uniforms the Capitol women had that you had seen around.
A small and slides into yours, and you blink out of your thoughts, looking down to see Yuuji tugging at his neck.
“Can you help? She tied it too tight,” he says quietly so that Drumesia wouldn’t overhear. You kiss your teeth in mock annoyance, shooting him a grin as you sink onto your knees, brows furrowing in concentration as you mess around with the fabric.
“You look very handsome tonight,” you tell him as you wrap around the ends together, trying to mimic the actions you studied Drumesia doing moments ago, “They’re going to love you out there.”
You ruffle his hair, making sure not to mess it up too much as you straighten it back. Yuuji smiles shyly, standing still to let you work.
“Do you think,” Yuuji starts, then stops, his cheeks flushed, “Do you think my family’s watching?”
Your hands stopped, looking at him with a reproachful expression as you smiled softly, nodding your head.
“Yeah, of course they are,” you loop the tie around, wiggling it so that it would sit straight, “Why wouldn’t they?”
Yuuji shrugged, looking away as he pouted slightly, rubbing at his eyes.
“My brothers were just so angry before I left,” he mutters, and your hands go up on his elbows. “Do you think they’re mad that I’m not going to win?”
Your face and heart crack at the same time, your lips wobbling as you drag him close to your chest, hands sprawled out on his back as you squeeze him as hard as you possibly can.
“Oh, they’re not mad at you, Yuuji,” you say hushed, one hand cradling his head as you tuck your chin on his pile of hair, “They could never be mad at you.”
You hear him sniffle, his arms hugging you back as you try to hide him from the wandering eyes of the other tributes.
But, as always, you catch the eye of one in particular.
Gojo watches the two of you, not critically, just watching. He’s observing, looking at the way you don’t mind your dress getting dirty or Yuuji’s tear marks on the fabric.
Don’t you remember me?
You look away, as if his stare had somehow burned you, and push gently at Yuuji’s shoulders so that he would be facing you.
“Your brothers are so proud of you,” you tell him firmly, “So proud, okay?”
Yuuji wipes at his red cheeks, nodding at your words.
“When you go on that show tonight, you look into that camera like you’re looking right at them, yeah? Talk to it like you’re talking to them. Forget about the crowd, forget about the game. Just,” You sigh, your smile shaky as your hands tremble. “Just imagine you’re back home and you’ve been pulled into the dancing circle. Remember how scary those were?” You push a strand of his hair away, smoothing it down as he sniffles softly, nodding again.
“But do you remember that feeling when the music was loud and everybody was clapping? Remember how at the end everyone was so sweaty and tired and it didn’t matter how bad you were dancing because everyone was just having fun?” He nods again, hanging on to every word you are saying.
“Imagine that feeling when you talk to Caesar, okay? Make them feel like they know you. Make it feel like they’re your family.”
You don’t tell him why. Don’t want to explain how sympathy and empathy can play a big role in how sponsors view you during the games.
“Okay?” You ask him once, stern but kind, a fire in your eyes that he tries to match.
“Okay,” he repeats, a smile making its way back onto his round face as you bump your fist lightly against his shoulder, standing back up just in time before Drumesia and Martin arrive.
She eyes you suspiciously, hands furiously working on your chest and stomach area to smooth out any wrinkles. You look at Yuuji, and he gives you the toothless grin.
“You’re awfully happy,” Drumesia commented dryly, looking your makeup over until she was satisfied that it was alright. “Anything you care to tell me?”
“Nothing you’d like to know.”
She scoffs, but doesn’t push it any further, seeing how there wasn’t much else she could fight with you on. She began looking around for the other escorts, killing the time by talking to them until it was time for the first tribute to go. Lizzie, from 1, would be the first interviewee of the night.
Yuuji tugs at your hand again, and this time, when you look down at him, you see him pointing somewhere in front of you two.
Cameramen and crew workers were ushering people to stand up against the wall, people organized by girls first, followed by the male tribute, going all the way from 1 to 12 near the back.
You and Yuuji shuffle awkwardly, and your shoulders press against the male tribute from 10, somebody whom you had only seen in passing.
There’s a quiet hush that falls around everyone, nerves alight as Capitol escorts and mentors are taken to the viewing room somewhere in the back.
You all watch on the screen in front of you as the lights in the main room dim, Capitol citizens buzzing with excitement as the music starts, the lights flashing where Caesar is sitting.
You take in a deep and soothing breath.
Let the show begin.
—-
Lizzie’s interview was good.
She knows how to work a crowd, and Caesar loved just how sparky and energetic she was. Everyone in the audience laughed along with her jokes and swooned when she talked about her sisters back home, whom she would be winning these games for.
But she wasn’t the tribute that you were focused on. Nor what everyone else was clamoring for, either, it seemed.
When Gojo walked out on the stage, you could see people in the audience already roaring and jumping to their feet. He had garnered quite a bit of attention already because of his pure strength, his looks, and the fact that his dad was already a victor.
Even you could admit, as much as you wanted to dislike him, just how much he radiated this sort of energy that attracted attention.
The suit he was wearing was tailored to perfectly match his already impeccable proportions. The dark blue coat and bottoms complemented the stark contrast with his eyes and hair, and the dazzling smile he had plastered onto his face almost made it look like he was twinkling.
Caesar was giving his signature debonair smile when Gojo walked towards him, his laughter contagious and manufactured as he whistled as Gojo shook his hand, his grip tighter than Caesar expected.
The two of them talk for a short second before Caesar invites him to sit down, and Gojo complies with a wink to the audience.
He knew how to play them as well as he could play the games.
“So!” Caesar clapped his hands as if he wasn’t getting started, “Mr. Gojo, the dashing tribute from 1, how are you doing this evening?”
Gojo kissed his teeth, looking into the audience as he gave an easy shrug and an even easier smile. The camera panned out to catch some of the women quickly fanning themselves, others swooning in their seats.
You looked at Yuuji, rolling your eyes at the theatrics, and he giggled.
“I’m doing great Caesar,” he finally said after a moment, letting the crowd die down as he nodded to himself, “I’m surrounded by all these amazing people, not including you, of course,” he says with a teasing tone and Caesar eats it up, slapping his lightly on the knees, “And the games are tomorrow. I can’t speak for the rest of the tributes, but I feel more than ready.”
Everyone breaks into shouts and hollers, clapping as Gojo claps along with them.
Caesar lets them go quite far as he chuckles along, swallowing as he looks over at Gojo with a serious expression.
“You look more than ready!” He exclaims, motioning towards his lean and muscular body, to which Gojo just waves away, “Now, I’m sure that most of these citizens recognize you because of your father, is that right, folks?” He looks back at the crowd as they scream and shout in agreement, surely having loved his dad if this was the reaction they were giving, “But am I wrong to assume that you would like to be known for something other than that?”
Gojo laughs concisely, nodding as he thinks about the question. You can only imagine the meticulous work and effort he’s put into making this interview seem flawlessly imperfect.
“You know, Caesar, before I left, my father told me to make these games my own.”
Caesar leaned in before Gojo could finish, as if they were sharing a secret.
“And what do you think that means? How do you plan on making these games your own?”
Gojo chuckled softly, his lips quirked as he looked back at the audience and then to the cameras.
“I think we’ll save that for when the time comes,” he says before the audience groans dramatically, Caesar giving a big sigh as if he was torn, but Gojo continued, “But I will say, I think these games are going to be special.”
Caesar worked his brow, looking at someone in the audience as he mouthed, really?, and everyone laughed.
“Special? Special how?”
“We’re an interesting batch of tributes. I don’t think that we’re going to go the usual route. I think…you’ll all see different alliances and enemies form, different strategies and different ways to win.”
The crowd ooo’s, but Gojo waves it off as if that was all he was going to say. Caesar smiles brightly, satisfied with the answer, as he quickly moves on to the last remaining minutes with the burning question everyone wanted to know.
“Satoru,” Caesar has quickly moved on to calling him by his first name, dropping the formalities as if they had bonded in these past five minutes, “Before our time is up, I’m sure everyone here is wondering, if you were to win these games, would you like to dedicate it to special someone?” The connotations behind what he’s saying are almost impossible to miss.
It seems like all the tributes are listening in, wanting to know both game and gossip talk.
Gojo’s chuckle rumbles out of his chest, and you wince, not recalling the last time you’ve seen the all serious tribute so lively.
He snaps his fingers at Caesar as if chastising him, pushing his hair back as a light pink dusts the apples of his cheeks.
“Are they wondering or are you wondering?” Gojo remarks, and Caesar gives a loud laugh, pretending to look shocked as the audience roars into laughter.
Gojo apologizes half-heartedly, waving down the room as he tries to use up all of his time accordingly.
“I’m just messing with you, Caesar,” he says finally, laughing along with Caesar as his eyes twinkle a bright blue under the stage lights, “But to answer truthfully, I’d be winning for myself.”
Caesar rolls his eyes dramatically, pointing to Gojo as he looks to the crowd for support.
“I don’t believe that for a second! With a face like that, how could you not have a girl waiting for you?”
Gojo smiles, his teeth bright as he ducks his head bashfully.
“I’m honored, Caesar, but I think that if I had a girl back home, I wouldn’t be fighting as well as I could,” Gojo admits, “I wouldn’t want her to see what I’d have to become to survive, and then not recognize me when I get home. And besides…” But Gojo trails off, shaking his head as if he had remembered halfway to stop himself from saying too much.
But oh, how Caesar loved it.
“No, no young man, you can’t stop there! Besides what? Besides what?” Caesar pushes the entire audience sitting on the edge of their seat as Gojo gives a practiced nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as if he didn’t plan for this to happen.
“Well,” Gojo gave a slight shrug, looking straight into the camera, “If I were to win these games, it’s not a girl back home I’d be winning for. She’s a little…closer than 1.”
The crowd lost their minds.
“My! I wonder who it is!” Drumesia said curtly under her breath, looking around as if the mystery girl would reveal herself. Other tributes began muttering under their breaths, some angry at how well Gojo was working the crowd, others curious to see if it was outlawed for somebody from a District to fall for a Capitol girl.
Nonetheless, Gojo was able to wrap everyone around his finger with just a sentence.
Caesar tries to calm them down, but it’s no use. Now, everyone is shouting and demanding to know who this mystery Capitol girl is that has won the esteemed Gojo Satoru’s heart over. It’s no use, Caesar has lost control of them, and his time with Gojo is up.
He’s playing these games well, you think, and not the way most people would.
Caesar nods slowly, giving his usual bright smile as he and Gojo stand up, their hands clasped together as the others wave to the bustling and energetic crowd.
“Give it up for the dashing Tribute from District 1, everyone! Gojo Satoru!”
You can no longer tell who’s still screaming from the past news and who is trying to wish Gojo goodbye, but regardless, the enthusiasm from this crowd dwarfs whatever it was that Lizzie got.
But the more you let his words simmer, the more you realize that Gojo wasn’t only doing this to stir gossip or gain empathy. If the citizens (and sponsors) of the Capitol believed that there was a chance he could win these games and come back for one of them, then…
Then he just garnered a whole lot more support than any score from those evaluations could have gotten him.
When he finally left, his mentors and escorts quickly ushered him somewhere backstage, so you weren’t able to get a good glimpse of him before he left. But the relaxed stance he had once had was now bunched up, tense in his shoulders. He looked around the other tributes, eyes falling last on you and Yuuji before he was whisked away.
Yuuji tugged at the fabric of your dress, glancing up at you with a worry in his eyes.
“I have to go after him?”
—
All the other interviews seem to go by in a blur.
The closer it gets to 11, the more you feel like throwing up. Your heart beats in erratic rhythms, and your mouth and ears feel like they’re stuffed with cotton. At some point, you stop looking at the screen because of how much your head is spinning.
Your hand grips your stomach, balancing on the wall, the closer and closer you get to being called up on stage.
Martin and Drumesia are both standing near you and Yuuji, exchanging worried glances at your worsening state.
“You’ll be alright,” Yuuji whispers, tugging on your arm, with a bright smile even though he looked horrifically pale and nervous, “If I can do this, you definitely can.”
You chuckle softly, whispering a thank you as you watch the male tribute from District 10 stand up and shake Caesar’s hand, the audience applauding as he exits.
It’s your turn.
“Smile!” Drumesia repeats, doing the motions on her own face as you give her a shaky one in return, “Be their sweetheart!”
Be their sweetheart.
One of the people moved in between you and Yuuji, your hand falling from his as they ushered you through the holding area and onto the stage. You take one deep breath before you duck your head down and go.
You instantly wince at the bright lights, your ears roaring as if you were being held underwater, and sweat dots on your forehead. You feel your stomach plummet, but your feet move as if they’re the only part of your body working.
The crowd is clapping as Caesar introduces you, and you inch towards him as you try to discreetly wipe your palm on the side of your dress so he wouldn’t notice how clammy it was.
You look into the audience, people in the front row dressed as wildly and strangely as they seem to do in the Capitol, and then look over to Caesar, who seems to be mourning something, but you can’t hear what it is he’s saying.
“W-what?” You say, cursing at yourself for this being your first words, but Caesar just laughs it off, patting you affectionately on the shoulders.
“Someone’s nervous!” Caesar says with a smile, leading you to sit down as you shakily sit down on the seat facing him. When he’s sure that you're situated, he moves to his own, legs crossing as he leans back slightly.
“What I had said was, ‘How are you doing?’”
You look at him and then at the cameras, swallowing to wet your throat.
“Good,” you say hoarsely, “Just nervous, like you said.” You give a shaky laugh, and Caesar, along with the entire audience, aww at, as if you were a wounded animal.
Caesar waits until the crowd dies down before he starts again, shuffling a little closer so that it wouldn’t feel like you were strangers.
“Well, I never want you to feel that way around me,” he pats your knee before he gives a gentle smile before it turns impish, “That’s what the audience is for!”
Everyone laughs, and you give a weak chuckle. He gives the cameras a small pout, and your nose wrinkles slightly before he starts again.
“Let me first say that I am intrigued to see you nervous because from what I’ve heard, you are great with people. Is this true, or did my little songbird lie to me?”
You blink away from the crowd, eyes darting towards the cameras as you give him a growing smile and let a simple giggle roll through your chest, one thought ringing through your head:
Be their sweetheart.
“I wouldn’t say great,” you emphasize with a smile, remembering that this crowd was full of sponsors that could help you and Yuuji, “But I used to take care of kids before I worked in the fields back home, so I’ve learned a lot of things about people from that.”
Caesar clicks his tongue, as if understanding.
“Well, disagree as much as you want, but we’ve had some witnesses in the crowd who have seen firsthand just how well you’re able to make new friends, is that right?” He calls out, and some people in the audience cheer extra loudly.
Those must’ve been the people who saw you before the chariot parade.
“Do you think this will help you in the arena?” Caesar adds, and you rip your eyes away from those in the audience to look at his face.
“U-um,” you stammer, your cheeks heating up as you think about it thoughtfully, “I don’t think so, Caesar.” You admitted truthfully, debating whether to lie or not, but it seemed like your decision was the correct choice, as it seemed like people in the audience perked up at your honesty.
Even Caesar seemed a bit surprised as his brows furrowed and his head tilted slightly to the side.
“No? Why? Why not?” His voice dipped slightly, mimicking concern. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he would care, as if he wouldn’t narrate your death in just a few days.
You ring your fingers together, chewing on your cheek as you try to look docile. Like a sweetheart.
“I don’t like seeing people hurt,” you tell him, and everyone watching, frankly, “Even if the kids I used to watch were being…difficult,” you say with a slight emphasis and the crowd laughs, shocking you a little bit, “I would never say anything too harsh to reprimand them. So I think that if I were to befriend other tributes, I’d stir crazy in the games.”
Caesar nods once more, his eyes shutting as he takes in your words. People in the audience seem to tilt their heads dramatically as if you had softened them into a puddle of faux compassion and stone-hearted emotions.
“So empathy is both your strength and witness?” Caesar confirms, and you give him a timid grin, nodding.
“One that can be exploited very well during something like the Hunger Games, yes,” you say a little sarcastically and with a knowing grin, and Caesar lets out a chuckle, nodding along with your statement as people in the audience laugh.
“While we’re on more temperate topics, here’s another question for you,” Caesar’s voice has dipped a little bit, losing his energetic spark as he got serious, “I have been asking many of the tributes tonight who they would win for. If you were to win, who would you dedicate it to?”
You feel your stomach churn painfully, tongue darting out to wet your chapped bottom lip, and you grab the sides of your chair tightly.
Gojo’s words from the night before repeat themselves in your head. What is it you want to do?
“I,” you stop yourself from what you were going to say, almost looking backstage to where Yuuji was standing with Drumesia, but control the urge and continue holding your stare with Caesar, “I have no family left in 11,” you’re sure that the camera is zeroing in on your face now and the way Caesar holds your hand supportingly as if he was there when you mourned the loss of everyone you loved, “I think….I think I would win these games so that I could see the sunsets back home.”
“The sunsets?” He asks instantly as if he’s never thought about that, he looks into the crowd to see if they’re just as intrigued, “I have to admit, I’ve never seen the sunsets at District 11 before. How are they?”
You gave him a knowing smile, blinking your tears back as the fire inside your chest burned.
“Caesar, they are simply to die for.”
The tension in the room seemed to snap as everyone laughed, Caesar throwing his head back with a comical hoot as one hand sprawled out across his chest. The cameramen swiveled to catch everyone’s reactions, and you feel some heat prickle at the back of your neck.
“Funny! She’s funny!” He animated as if they hadn’t already heard you, wiping at his eyes as his wide smile twinkled, “One last thing! Before we run out of time! I’m sure everybody here, along with me, is wondering one thing. Does anybody know what that is?”
Caesar looked out into the audience with a raised brow. You turn limply, mirroring his actions, as somebody with a large pink wig and even larger cheekbones cups their manicured hands around their mouth as they yell out;
“Her score!”
Caesar winked at that person, snapping when they got it right. His chair swiveled back to face yours, your fingers digging into the plush texture of the cushions as your heart beats rapidly against your chest.
“Yes, yes, her score! Now, don’t worry, I won’t have you revealing your secret,” Caesar assured and your shoulders eased just a little bit, Caesar waving the audience’s disappointment down with a playful scold, “But I do want you to tell the people what they should take away from a score like yours.”
The clock was ticking down. You only had a few seconds left to make it all count.
“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully, a glint in your eyes as your head tilts a little, “It’s funny you ask. We have this song back in 11, one older than me. Some say it’s from this ancient traveling band, from way before. But we always tell ourselves that nothing you can take was ever worth keeping. So,” you pause for a brief moment, your lips quirked, “During the games, I think you should…expect nothing from me and I’ll give you all everything in return.”
Caesar’s smile falters a second as he digests your words, looking at you, but you’re looking back at the crowd as you wave to them.
He helps you stand up, his hand outstretched to take yours, and you give him a firm squeeze as you shake it. The crowd claps loudly, some calling your name like they did for the other tributes.
“Everyone give it up for the witty sweetheart from 11!” Caesar shouts, and people clap even louder, your smile growing despite yourself.
Maybe, just maybe, you did something right.
—
One deep breath in. One deep breath out.
The helicraft they were using to transport all your tributes was huge, but somehow you still felt insanely claustrophobic. It felt like the walls were closing in, the whirring and the gentle hum of the machine were somewhat soothing, but it did nothing to distract you from the fact that you were being transported to the arena.
For the Hunger Games.
You could barely sleep after the interviews. Yuuji had done great, everybody loved him, just as you suspected. But it wasn’t the high of doing well that kept you up. It was the fear, the trepidation of knowing that there were merely hours left before only one of you was fated to come out.
Breakfast was horrible. You couldn’t keep anything down, so you opted for some tea and bits of a biscuit. Martin seemed particularly drunk, barely meeting your eyes as Drumesia kept snapping at him to tidy up. But you didn’t have the heart to judge him, couldn’t imagine what it was like to see countless tributes over the years, only for none of them to survive.
It must be maddening.
Yuuji didn’t look any better, but he was trying his best to appear as steady-headed as possible. When Martin led the two of you to the hovercraft, he gave you both one final look, his eyes glossy and his face solemn as he put one hand on your shoulder and the other on Yuuji’s.
“Look after each other,” he said gruffly, his voice choked and hoarse, “These games bring out the worst in people.”
You wondered just how bad it could get.
After one of the guards had injected the tracker into you, they strapped you in, and you felt your back press tightly against the seat as it began to take off. The other tributes were rubbing their arms, wincing at the soreness of where the injector was once. Some were looking around, curious and afraid; others were talking to themselves.
Gojo was one of those who was looking around, eyes darting everywhere until they found you. Again.
He gives barley there nod, one you don’t understand the meaning of, before he peeks back to Lizzie, his head dipping down as he attentively listens to her as she whispers something in his ear. You shake yourself away from looking at them, trailing down to where Yuuji was bundled next to you, his fingers pushing at the skin of his forearm.
“Yuuji,” your voice is a hint of whisper, and you’re glad for the steady hum of the craft as it drowns out your voice for everyone else around you, “Yuuji.” You say a little harsher, this time grabbing his attention.
His head snaps up, brown eyes wide as if he had been caught doing something wrong. You almost apologized, but remembered that right now you had to be harsh. It was your only means of survival.
“Do you remember what you’re going to do?” Your head ducks down so that you’re closer to his ear, and he nods quickly, determination and trepidation on his face as you sit back upright, giving him a stern look.
For the last couple of days, you’ve been watching old runs from previous games. How they started, what it looked like towards the middle, and how they ended. You’ve gathered that the beginning of the games is the most brutal part, seeing how everyone is still gathered around each other.
The Cornucopia, a big-looking structure that resembles its namesake, is where all weapons, sacks of food and water, sleepgear, and anything else needed for survival are held. It’s tempting, sure, but that’s where the bloodbath takes place. When everyone hoards something surrounded by deadly tools, it’s expected that something barbaric will take place.
From what you could tell, tributes are all arranged in a circle around the structure on pedestals. A clock counts down from a minute until they can move. If Yuuji was situated somewhere where the Cornucopia was blocking him from your vision, there was not much you could do than order him to turn around and run as fast as he could. You promised you’d find him.
“Mhm,” he quickly nods, closing his eyes as he recites the orders you’ve drilled into his head, “If I see you, run towards you when the clock finishes up. If not, run away and hide,” he cracks open an eye as he winces, “Right?”
You realize your face is harder than usual, your frown lines more apparent. You swallow, trying to soften yourself up as you pat his hand, looking at the walls facing you to steady your mind.
“Right.”
You feel Yuuji’s eyes bore into the side of your face, and his fingers move so that they can grasp onto yours.
“Did you try making any allies?” He whispers, shuffling closer to you because of how cold the air is.
You shake your head, not looking down but instead finding your stare to travel back over to where Gojo was sitting.
Don’t you remember me?
It’s one of the only things you’ve been able to think of these past two days.
The thing is, you know you remember him. You remember that hair and those eyes. You remember the way he carries himself. It’s a brief memory, one hidden in the back of your mind and refusing to show itself. But perhaps what’s even stranger is that he does. It couldn’t be from the first day on the trains. This memory is deep, it’s old.
And yet you don’t have any idea where it came from.
So you shake your head at Yuuji’s question, thinking back to your interview with Caesar as your foot taps erratically on the floor.
“We’re each other's allies,” you murmur, still not looking away from Gojo as if prolonged staring would help jog your memory, “Remember what Martin told us?”
Yuuji doesn’t seem happy, clearly thinking that more people mean better odds of surviving, but he can’t argue with you. He slumps a little bit, looking around.
You go to tell him something else, but your eyelids suddenly feel heavy. You wince, your head dipping, but not on your own accord.
You can barely open your mouth before everything goes back, and you slump against your restraints.
---
a/n: there will be a part two! it's in the works, and it'll definitely have more romance in it (and angst)! I also don't use taglists, so I'm sorry to anyone who was asked to be on this one!
warnings: nswf, slut shaming, slight dubious consent
“no please, take your time. it’s not like we’ve been here for hours.” eren’s sharp voice brings you out of your thoughts.
his piercing gaze is right there to meet yours when you finally stop staring at the wall. you chew on your pencil, quickly diverting your attention to the paper in front of you. you’ve done your best to avoid looking at him the majority of the time you’ve been here.
it’s not your fault you can’t look into his eyes for longer than a second. he’s the one who’s always observing you with that cold, calculating stare. you’ve been on the end of judgmental looks and not so quiet whispers for years now and have learned to not let them bother you—well you thought you mastered the art of simply ignoring those kinds of people. until eren.
you didn’t even know he existed until a few weeks ago. the introduction for you two consisted of a simple bumping into each other in the crowded hallways of school, it ended with him bitterly muttering something about idiot cheerleaders as he stumbled away. not even sparing you a second glance. after that, you saw him often and he made his dislike for you evidently clear.
which makes no sense. how can someone not like you?
it’s usually jealous girls giving you the stink eye and making up the ridiculous rumors. they’re the ones who don’t want to associate themselves with you. not nerdy nobodies who can’t walk without stumbling over their own two feet. no, people like him usually worship the ground you walk on. or at least drool a little.
seriously you’ve tried everything to get rid of that menacing stare and frigid tone he always greets you with. it’s like he’s immune. “jesus y/n, how dumb are you?”
and they definitely don’t talk to you like that. you know you’re not the brightest, which is why your teacher got this jerk of a nerd to tutor you right before exam week but is that really an excuse for him to treat you like this? biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge a corner of your sweater until your left shoulder is exposed. leaning forward and batting your eyelashes which gets no response from him other than a blank stare. “i’m not dumb. i just don’t get it.” you pout. “can’t you just tell me the answer? we’ve spent like thirty minutes on this question.”
“thirty minutes cause you’re an idiot.” he mutters more to himself.
“i’m trying my best!”
“you should’ve learned this months ago. you would’ve if you didn’t spend your time skipping class to hang out with your pig muscle boyfriend.”
“he’s not my boyfriend…” you go back to chewing on the pencil.
“so you just make out with any guy behind the bleachers?”
“you seem to know a lot about me.” you look at him again, that stupid cold stare looking back at you through those glasses.
“who doesn’t. you’re y/n. the whole school knows of your…activities.”
“those are just rumors.” some of them are. most are true. you enjoy living life to the fullest. it’s not your fault the people in your school saw a confident, attractive woman and instantly decided to put less than appealing labels on her. “and besides they’re none of your business.”
“whatever. just solve this, this is taking longer than our usual sessions and my mom will be home soon.”
you groan, looking down at the textbooks and not understanding a single word. “please just tell me the answers.” you ask one last time, desperate.
“no.”
you huff, returning your attention to the book. “you’re going to age badly with all that scowling you do. just so you know.”
“shut up.”
“eren…” you say after five minutes which causes a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. “do you have an issue with me?” it’s been four sessions of the frigid tension he always puts between you two and there’s a lot more to come before graduation so you just want to get whatever problems he has with you out of the way.
it takes a few seconds before he’s looking up from the textbook, pushing his glasses up as he sends you probably the most intimidating glare you’ve seen from him. “excuse me?” the very tone of his voice has goosebumps forming on your skin but you force yourself to stand your ground. you’re not going to let some loser who’s probably never even kissed someone to look down on you.
“you— you just seem to—”
“i don’t have an issue with you y/n.” he slams the book on the table causing you to jump. “having an issue with someone like you would imply i care enough and trust me i’ll never care for such a ditzy little slut who doesn’t respect herself.”
you’ve been called worse than that and usually by scorned boys you hooked up with. but they were popular gym rats, not some overconfident lanky freak. you had a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but with the cogs in your brain suddenly malfunctioning, you could only stutter out a pathetic, “i—i’m none of those things!”
“really?” he scoffs, actually getting up and walking over and as he does you think maybe it would’ve been a safer option to just keep your mouth shut. “wide doe eyes without nothing behind them. check.” he starts. “plump lips perfect for what you do best. check.” and the asshole has the nerve to slowly swipe his fingers across your bottom lip.
you should stand up, tell him to go to hell and get out of here but you’re frozen. limbs not moving an inch as he continues, “empty little head. check. skimpy outfits to attract attention. check. i mean let’s face the facts..”
you never would’ve thought the loser that always sits in the back of the class with his nose buried deep in a book would speak like this to you. it’s insulting. freaking degrading. he knows nothing about you and yet he has that expression on his face like he does. “if i’m such a ditzy little slut as you so nicely put then i’d be jumping at the chance to hook up with you but here we are.” you seethe.
that seems to finally strike a nerve as he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. you cut him off before he can defend himself.
“is that it…you’re angry i haven’t made a move on you because that’s what sluts do isn’t it? bone everything they see? is your pride wounded that i don’t see you in that way, eren?” you let out a mirthless laugh. “well news flash, pretty girls like me don’t go for freaks like you.”
you got up, ready to grab your things and run out all while trying to ignore the nerves inside of you. he just stands there, rigid and glaring. “really?” he asks once your books are back in your bag.
“y—yes. now if you’ll excuse me—” your wrist is being grabbed before you can take another step and for a second both of you are stunned, you mostly frozen in your spot because this creep has the audacity to touch you after everything he just said. you don’t know what his excuse is but he only stands there like a shocked puppy before pushing you on the desk.
a gasp escapes your lips at being manhandled by him of all people, what the fuck is he doing? you’re on your stomach, feet on the ground as the fucker puts a hand on your back, keeping you there. “w-what are you doing?” you pant out, bewildered at everything that just happened.
“i…” he trails off, not saying anything before manhandling you again. only this time it’s for you to lay on your back and fuck, you could fight back. he’s surprisingly strong for such a lanky freak but you’re a cheerleader who does complex moves out on the field almost every day. you could kick him off, slam that big textbook in his face to the point his nose breaks and run out, making sure to report him.
but you don’t. it’s not that you can’t. for some reason, you just don’t want to. maybe it’s curiosity, to see what exactly he plans on doing. to see if a loser like him actually has the balls to do anything but back away and apologize profusely.
“you’re not fighting back.” he simply says, sounding a bit confused as he comes to lean over your body. his hands on either side of your head as he stares down, those stupid piercing eyes staring down at you. “why?”
“shouldn’t i be the one asking the questions here? like why the fuck you have me on this desk?”
he raises an eyebrow, leaning back and grabbing your thighs causing you to squeal in surprise. he spreads them, raising the dress you’re wearing until it’s pooling at your stomach before you can even blink.
shit. what’s wrong with him?
what’s wrong with you? you should be kicking at him, you could easily shove him off. you could do it in a blink of an eye so why the hell aren’t you.
where there’s supposed to be fear…there’s only anticipation. “you really are a slut.” he laughs cruelly, pulling your panties down until they’re completely off. where he throws them, you don’t know. probably in some corner to hide so you forget about them, who knows what a pervert like him would do with it?
“you barely know me and yet…look at this.” you shudder as his finger circles your clit before swiping across your cunt, bringing his hand up to show you your slick as if for emphasis.
“shut up.” you grit through your teeth. “you're—” you don’t have time to finish your insult before he’s kneeling down, tongue immediately latching onto your clit.
your nails instantly scrape against the desk, shuddering as he begins to suckle on your clit. his tongue delves into you, fingers digging into your thighs on purpose as if the freak wants to hurt you. you can play that game too if he wants, fingers going to grab at the strands of his dark hair, pulling as you ground your hips against his annoyingly experienced tongue.
usually, your sexual partners don’t willingly choose to eat you out but here is he. practically eager to get to business. he acted so high and mighty and still has the gall to continue doing so yet he’s the one on his knees right now. freaking nerds are so easy. even overly judgmental ones with sharp gazes.
he’s basically lapping at you, moving from sucking your clit to eagerly drinking up your juices. never coming up for air as if he was made to simply do this. “f—fuck.” you didn’t want to make any noises, any implications that what he’s doing is actually making you feel good but dammit it’s hard when a tongue is diving deep into your most sensitive parts.
a particular bite has you instantly bringing your legs together but he quickly grabs them, forcing them apart to shove his face in between your thighs again. your breath catches in your throat as he licks up your dripping pussy. he doesn’t relent even once and the moans won’t stop escaping your lips, “sl—slow down. gonna…dammit.”
his tongue licks…freaking everywhere. the obscene noises causing you to hang your head back, he’s licking and sucking everything up as if it’s his favorite meal.
and it’s embarrassing. how fast you come. but how can not you? you mercilessly pull at his hair and shamelessly moan when you do. somehow you’re the sweating and panting one as he stands up. “so that’s what all the hype is about?” he tsk, seemingly bored.
it takes a few seconds for you to find the breath to say “don’t act like you didn’t enjoy that, with the way you were eagerly—”
“shut up.” he takes his glasses off, putting them to the side before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to him.
“you’re disgusting, you know? the nerve you have—”
“i spent the last two hours teaching you simple biology and somehow you couldn’t do one question by yourself, if i’m testy that’s all on you.
"it’s not my fault.” it comes out as a whine and you hate it, you were supposed to be insulting him. at least have some pride when you’re about to be fucked by the guy who looks at you like you’re nothing but a dirty piece of gum.
“shut up, for crying out loud. shut up.” his voice is raspy as he unbuckles the belt to his revolting khakis.
you can’t help as your eyes widen once his cock is in view. for such a nerd, he’s actually packing. one hand holds your hips as the other guides his dick towards your leaking area and slight panic starts to take over. “a-aren’t you gonna prep?” as orgasmic as that oral job was, you doubt just that will be enough to prepare you for that.
he grins, probably the first smile you’ve ever seen on his annoyingly handsome face. “don’t worry, i’m sure a slut like you has a loose enough cunt.”
“you little shit! that's—” your words get caught in your throat, back arching as he moves his hips forward, piercing inside of you. “fuck.”
a broken sound leaves your lips as he continues to push his length in. it doesn’t hurt like you expected it to but there’s still a strong ache that you know will leave you limping tomorrow morning. it burns, burns so good you have to squeeze your eyes shut. you need something to hold onto as he starts to move, anything to give you some sort of balance but the flat surface underneath you offers no help. “ngh…eren…” you’re not sure what you want to say but he doesn’t give you time to think of something before he sets a rhythm.
it’s surprisingly slow at first, like he wants you to feel every vein on his cock and you do. your walls desperately clench around him as you bite on your bottom lip, the room suddenly feeling too hot as his fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. into that stupid gaze he won’t stop staring at you with. his mouth is slightly open but no sound comes out. he’s perfectly collected and you hate it. people like him should be cumming the second you touch them but he’s…it’s annoying.
his pace starts to speed up—he doesn’t even give it another second before he’s ramming inside of you. holding your hips with both hands as he sets a brutal pace that has you moving up and down the desk. “p-pretty decent for a nerd—ah!”
still, he stays silent. ugh, what’s wrong with him? you bring your arm up to your mouth, muffling the moans spilling out of your lips in spite but his hands are immediately pulling them off. he chuckles, coming close enough that his breath fans against your face and a lewd moan comes out of you as he hits an even deeper spot. “don’t do that, we all know this is what you want. to be fucked hard and fast to the point you’re nothing but a mindless whore whose only purpose is to scream in pleasure.”
you don’t respond, biting down hard on your lips. his thrusts became more aggressive as he scoffs, “fine.” his hand finds its way to your throat, squeezing slightly.
you suck in a shuddering breath just as his hold tightens, bordering on dangerous but for some reason the lack of air only makes your pussy throb, clenching tight around him. why does it feel good? why does everything he’s doing to you only make you want more? his thrusts have now gotten erratic, almost forcing your body off the desk but the hold on your hips and throat keep you right where you are. you want to let out the moan clawing out from inside your throat but his grip stays, merciless as he pounds into you.
you don’t know how much of this you can take, everything feels too hot. it’s too much. “fuck look at you, didn’t think you could look even more dumb.” he pants, staring down. he finally removes his hand from your throat and you cry out the second he does.
“eren, please i'm—fuck…too much, it’s too much.” you gasp even though a sick part of you knows you could do this all night.
but right now…with the way his voice is dripping with cockiness— you hate it, hate the way he looks at you and talks to you. it’s infuriating and too much. a tsk comes out of his mouth, “who knew you had a limit?” he rolls his eyes and in the next second, he’s spilling inside of you. spilling and spilling until some drip on the floor.
like he’s been holding himself back all this time.
fuck. he could’ve at least let you release a second time. you didn’t think the asshole would be finishing right after you said that. you’re panting, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he pulls out. he zips up his stupid ugly looking khakis as he steps back. “can you get off my desk now?”
the nerve of him…ugh. you slowly sit up, dress sticking to your skin due to the sweat and you have to refrain from asking to use his shower before leaving.
he gets you your bag and you slowly take it, throat aching and dry. there’ll definitely be bruises around your throat and hips tomorrow and you’re sure he’s secretly delighted at that fact. “uh….” you trail off.
this is usually the part where they ask for your number, pleading for a second night with that desperate look in their eyes but he doesn’t even send you another glance as he gathers up the papers on the desk, putting them into a binder. “make sure to study before sleeping tonight…if your body can handle that.” his lips slightly curve up at that last part but he’s not bragging, no just mocking you.
“o…okay.” you lick your dry lips, suddenly needing a mint. “uh…bye?” you stand up too fast, cursing at yourself for it but his arm is around your hips before you can fall.
you bite the inside of your cheek, the proximity too close even though he was just inside of you a minute ago. he sighs, “do you need a ride home?” he asks grudgingly.
and you should say no. you don’t need to be in an enclosed space with this asswipe for another second. just say no and walk into class the next day, demanding for another tutor. and then you’ll never have to talk to him ever again.
synopsis : gojo satoru was supposed to be taking a break—doctor’s orders if the doctor was his best friend threatening to physically chain him to the cruise ship. he had no plans to meet anyone, no interest in vacation flings, and definitely no time to entertain the woman across the hall who looked at him like he was the personification of a migraine. but then you slammed your door in his face, and for reasons he’s still trying to untangle, he’s been thinking about that glare ever since.
he’s not the type to fall easy—he’s too smart for that. a date-to-marry kind of guy, a serial monogamist in theory, if not in practice. but you? you’re not interested in dating, not interested in him, and somehow that makes everything worse. or better. depends on the hour. because every time he tries to mind his business, there you are—in a bikini that rewires his brain, in an argument that turns into flirting, in his head long after you’ve left.
he keeps telling himself it’s nothing serious, that it’s just sunstroke or poor judgment, that you’re just a summer situation he’ll laugh about later. except every time you leave, it feels less like a fling and more like he’s one wrong decision away from wanting everything.
status : ongoing (2/15 chapters, 7.1k wordcount) ✦ tags -> cruise ship au, summer situationship, romantic comedy, fluff, humor, eventual smut, porn with plot, sexual tension, banter, reader is emotionally unavailable, satoru is a workaholic, bad decisions in luxury settings, more tags to be added, majestic art by @/dmsco1803 on x
vacation timeline
day 01 , day 02 , day 03 , day 04 , day 05 , day 06 , day 07 , day 08 , day 09 , day 10 , day 11 , day 12 , day 13 , day 14 , after the waves.
passenger list : @miffyliebe @heh123321 @jijijihanji @chuiisi @etsuniiru @hails-trom
passenger list is still open, comment if you want to be added!
☆ sum. ever since his wife divorce him for another man, toji never was with anyone, even in having intimacy, he never had any desire to kiss, touch, even fuck anyone, until he have you on his lap, riding him in one of the stall in the club.
warning. non-sorcerer reader, toji is a mess, p sooo good he almost cries, pu$$y-drunk toji, reader having a tats piercing. rough sex, public sex (bathroom stall), unprotected vaginal sex, size kink, praise kink, dirty talk, power imbalance (older man / younger woman), age gap relationship, orgasm denial / delayed climax, handjob, cumplay (internal ejaculation, cum leaking), pu$$y worship, overstimulation, leg folding position, possessive behavior, pussy drunk characterization, public exposure risk, aftercare / caretaking, mild consensual degradation oral fixation (nipple sucking, biting), references to breeding kink (implied), swearing / explicit language.
the club was called gristle, which already told you everything you needed to know: concrete walls painted matte black and lacquered in the sweat of too many strangers, music that sounded like a blender chewing up chrome, a bar lit up like a failed attempt at divine intervention. sticky floors. bodies everywhere. it was the kind of place that made your soul itch in your ribs and your bones hum. it was hell with a cover charge and you were thriving.
you were two tequila sodas deep, blinking rhinestones stuck to your collarbones like sweat-kissed stars, and dancing like your future career depended on it. maybe it did. shoko was three drinks ahead and exactly zero inhibitions behind. she was the kind of girl who never danced to the beat of the song—just the beat of spite. the kind of sway that said fuck you, yes you, i’m smarter than you, and i’ll outdrink you too. her cigarette was tucked behind one ear. a forgotten white flag.
“gojo’s in the dj booth trying to suck off the strobe light again,” she slurred into your shoulder.
you turned just in time to see gojo doing a very illegal-looking worm across the raised platform, flanked by a gaggle of girls who looked like they were filming a live breakdown for instagram. geto was sitting on the edge of the booth, draped in his coat like a tired mob wife, nodding along to whatever existential crisis the beat was currently having.
you laughed until your mascara creased. and then.
then.
a split-second crack in the atmosphere. a slither in your peripheral. someone watching you—not in the usual way, not the club way, the predatory frat-boy way—but something heavier. older. slower. the weight of it hit you somewhere between your stomach and your spine.
you turned.
and there he was.
he looked out of place in the same way a butcher knife looks out of place in a school lunchroom. not wrong, not technically, just... deeply inappropriate. green jacket, black tank, that wide-built way of holding himself like he didn’t trust the world not to jump him at a red light. a thick scar ran down the corner of his mouth like a cruel afterthought. he had a drink in one hand, pinky ring glinting under the lazy spin of a broken disco ball, and he was sucking a tooth with a mouth made for war crimes.
next to him sat another guy—sleek, fox-faced, gold chain and a tattoo that slithered up his neck like a wine stain—but he wasn’t looking at you.
toji fushiguro was.
not like he was checking you out. not like he was undressing you with his eyes. not like a man drunk on his own age gap perversions. he was looking at you like he recognized you. like you’d been a thorn in his side in another life. like you were the sound of the trigger just before it broke.
he didn’t smile.
he didn’t look away.
and you—because you were drunk and stupid and it was the last week of finals and your body was humming from the low voltage burn of too much bass and not enough shame—you didn’t look away either.
you reached up, swiped a smear of glitter from the hollow of your throat, and licked it off your finger.
toji’s jaw flexed.
“you seeing that?” shoko asked beside you, voice dry and amused like she was watching a nature documentary and you were the gazelle about to get railed.
you didn’t answer.
because his eyes—god, his fucking eyes—they were the kind that said i haven’t had sex in years, and i will wreck you like it's penance. he looked like he hadn’t touched anyone since the divorce. like he hated that he still wanted to. like the wanting itself was its own dirty little sin.
he leaned back in the booth, legs spread obscenely wide, the kind of man who made space by taking it. his hand moved, slow, up to his mouth, dragging a thumb along his lower lip.
you felt it like a bruise blooming.
shoko snorted. “bitch, he’s gonna eat you alive.”
“maybe i wanna be eaten.”
she shoved her drink into your hand. “then go get digested.”
you turned back to him.
he was still watching. still calm. like he had all the time in the world to decide whether or not to ruin yours.
and you?
you smiled.
because sometimes, finals week ends with a degree. and sometimes it ends with a man who hasn’t touched a single soul since his wife left him looking at you like you were the last bad decision he’d ever make. but, you don’t know that yet.
the bass dropped again.
so did your common sense.
toji didn’t blink.
not when the lights strobed red-blue-red like a police raid inside your chest. not when someone spilled a drink too close to his boots. not when the fox-faced man beside him leaned in and said something—low and fast and close to his ear.
toji just nodded. lazy. like the nod was a formality. like whatever was said didn’t need his actual attention. his eyes never left you. not even for a second. he exhaled through his nose. slow. and then, with a flick of his wrist, the friend stood and left, disappearing into the crush of the crowd like he’d never been real. no goodbye, no handshake, no dap, no nothing. the seat was empty. the booth swallowed the vacancy like it was always meant for someone else.
the song changed. again. it had probably changed five times. you didn’t know. didn’t care. toji leaned back just a little further. the way a lion does when it’s already decided to pounce but wants to stretch first. his ring tapped the glass once. then he licked his bottom lip.
and that—
that was your fucking cue.
“he’s alone now,” you said to shoko, eyes still locked on his like they were glued to the roof of your own dumb horny brain. “and i just made a terrible decision in my mind that i would like to make worse in person.”
shoko didn’t even look. she just grabbed your cup and said flatly, “you go, sluts.”
“thanks, sluts.”
“godspeed, sluts.”
toji watched your approach like you were a slow car crash. like he didn’t want to stop it.
and then you were gone, cutting through the crowd like a little dumb thirsty dagger, the kind that didn’t kill, just ruined. your path to him wasn’t straight. it wobbled.
hips out of time with your legs, heartbeat too loud in your ears, glitter smudged down one cheek like a finger had already been there. every single person in the club was suddenly nothing but smoke and background static. the music, a dull throb behind the real percussion of your blood.
and when you stopped at the edge of his booth, one hand on the lip of the velvet seat, mouth parted just enough to be accused of thinking nasty things—
he tilted his head.
he looked down, slow, dragging his gaze over your body like a confession, then back up again.
he still hadn’t smiled.
he didn’t need to.
you were already fucked.
the booth was one of those deep, curved ones, made for mafia deals or the kind of drunk makeouts that ended in pregnancy scares and spiritual awakenings. the leather was the kind of cracked that whispered rumors about what had gone down here over the years—piss, blood, cum, cheap perfume, shame, maybe in that order. red vinyl, sticky in a way that suggested the cleaning crew gave up back in 2019. it curved around the edge of the room like the mouth of something hungry, all teeth and shadow and bad ideas.
toji sat dead center. like a throne. like he knew you’d come.
you hovered at the edge a second too long—long enough to register the way his thighs spread under the table, long enough to see the glass in his hand was more ice than liquor, long enough to feel the bass tremble up your calves and settle right behind your teeth. he didn’t say anything. didn’t lean forward. didn’t offer you a seat. didn’t look away.
so you climbed in.
slow. dramatic. like you’d rehearsed it. thigh first, then the swing of your leg over the lip of the booth, one hand braced on the table, the other catching the hem of your skirt as it threatened to ride too high. you slid in beside him, but not next to him. no. you gave him space. gave yourself room to breathe. gave the night a chance to hesitate. you slid in just far enough that your knee could maybe touch his if you angled wrong, just far enough that your perfume would reach him, but your intentions would still look innocent if someone were watching.
he looked at you then.
not a turn of the head. not a shift of his shoulders. just the eyes—those fucking eyes—cutting sideways like a blade, like a car mirror catching you just before it hits. they dropped again. took in your legs. your stomach. your mouth.
slowly.
like he had time. like he wasn’t planning anything. like he absolutely was. he took a sip from his glass. ice clicked against his teeth. “you here with your little boyfriend?” he asked, voice rough, deep, the kind of voice that sounded like it had gravel for breakfast and a grudge for dessert.
you blinked.
“what?”
toji tilted his chin toward the dance floor. “glitter rat in the booth. blonde. yelling at the DJ.” you glanced back. gojo was on his fourth attempt at beatboxing into a mic that wasn’t even plugged in. “jesus christ,” you muttered, then looked back at toji. “no. he’s just allergic to dignity.”
toji hummed. then his thumb brushed the condensation off the side of his glass, slow, deliberate. you watched the motion, unblinking. he tapped the glass against the table. “what about the girl? the one with the dead fish stare and a vendetta against buttons.” you grinned. “shoko? also not fucking her. though she’d be the one doing the fucking.”
“mm,” he said, not quite smiling, not quite breathing.
your knee brushed his. just barely. enough to count.
“you’re really checking out my whole friend group before you even ask my name?”
toji’s gaze flicked to you, then back to his glass. “don’t need your name,” he said. “i just wanted to make sure no one was gonna cry when i take you into the bathroom.” the air went out of you like someone had lit a match in your lungs. not subtle. not flirty. not pretending.
you swallowed. slowly.
“bold of you to assume i cry after.”
toji smirked then. not wide. not pretty. crooked. mean. like it hurt to do it. like he hadn’t done it in a while and wasn’t sure it was still worth the trouble. but it was a smile. for you. and something about it made your stomach twist like your bones were folding inward.
he reached across the table and stole your drink—no asking, no gesture, just took it from your hand like it already belonged to him—and sipped it. eyes never leaving yours.
“tequila,” he muttered. “figures.”
“and what the fuck does that mean?”
he shrugged. “means you want to do something stupid. something you can’t admit you want. something you’re gonna lie about to your friends in the morning.”
you stared at him.
and hated how right he was.
you leaned in, breath catching just slightly. “okay. and what do you want?” toji leaned back again, arm stretched across the back of the booth. his fingers—long, veined, scarred, absolutely filthy—rested behind your shoulder, not touching, just close enough to feel the heat.
he gave a lazy, brutal smile.
“i want to remember what it feels like to ruin someone.”
instead, you leaned in closer.
your throat went dry. your pulse tried to climb out of your neck.
you swallowed hard. you should’ve left. should’ve said something clever. should’ve laughed and slipped away and found someone safer to flirt with. someone your age. someone with a nice apartment and a philosophy minor.
and whispered, “bathroom’s to the left.”
he didn’t move. not yet. just gave you another look. slow. bottom to top. the kind of look that peeled layers. stripped the glitter off your skin. that set a small, sharp flame behind your belly button and said, “we’re not gonna be gentle. we’re not gonna be kind.”
toji downed the rest of his drink in one go.
and stood.
“don’t fall in love,” he said over his shoulder as he moved toward the hallway.
you followed. because it was already too fucking late.
the hallway to the bathroom was narrow, humid, and alive in the way all bad decisions are—pulsing with leftover bass, lit by flickering red neon that made everything look like it was soaked in blood and bad taste. a warped “EXIT” sign hung above the far end like a lie, like hope, like something god had given up on. the walls were sticky, painted black, smeared with the fingerprints of too many hands that didn’t belong anywhere else. you could hear the music still, like it was coming from inside your chest. or his.
toji walked ahead of you with the kind of gait that didn’t need to check behind him to know you’d follow. wide shoulders, unhurried steps, a slight roll to his hips like he was dragging the entire fucking world behind him and had made peace with it. he didn’t look back. he didn’t say anything.
and you—fucking idiot, slut in progress, full of bad glitter and worse ideas—you followed him like the devil never lied, heels sticking to the floor, chest rising and falling too fast, heat crawling up the backs of your knees like it had teeth.
you passed a couple making out against the wall, faces crushed together like starved dogs. a guy throwing up in a bucket with a girl patting his back like she loved him for it. someone crying into a mirror, mascara smeared down their cheekbones like war paint. all of it faded. all of it backdrop.
your whole body was zeroed in on him.
toji pushed open the bathroom door without ceremony. it creaked. like it had a vendetta.
the club bathroom was exactly what you expected from a place called gristle: a flickering fluorescent above the mirror, one stall door missing entirely, cracked tiles that looked like someone had lost a fight with their reflection. the floor was wet. you didn’t ask with what. the whole place smelled like bleach, piss, and someone’s regretful aftershave.
but the last stall—the farthest one, the only one with a working lock—was open.
he walked straight in.
paused.
turned halfway in the doorway, one hand braced on the chipped frame, and finally looked at you again. like a challenge. like a dare. like he wasn’t gonna pull you in. not unless you stepped forward yourself. “last chance,” he said, voice low, rough, carrying that kind of warmth that only exists inside furnaces and buried trauma. “you got about three seconds to decide whether you’re gonna regret this.”
you laughed.
it came out a little wild. a little cracked.
“bitch, i already regret it.”
and then you stepped in.
he closed the door behind you. it clicked shut like the start of a ritual.
now it was just the two of you, breathing the same stifling, chemical-washed air, shadows cast sharp and ugly across your faces by the single busted light overhead. you could see the sweat beading at his temples, the shine of it along the thick cut of his throat. you could see the scar on his lip, and the deeper one under his jaw, like someone had tried to silence him with a blade and failed. his eyes were even worse up close—mean, ancient, alive in the way fire is alive when it’s out of control. they flicked over you with slow, deliberate weight.
he didn’t touch you.
he didn’t need to.
he just looked.
and it felt like a strip search. like a dissection. like you were standing naked already, ribs cracked open, heart fluttering like it knew what was coming and wanted to hide behind your lungs. “what’s your name?” he asked suddenly, voice pitched like he didn’t care but also like he needed it for something he didn’t want to name.
you hesitated.
then said it.
he rolled it around in his mouth. didn’t repeat it, just tasted it, the way a man might taste a curse or a memory or a prayer he wasn’t allowed to say. “huh,” he said. “too pretty for the kind of shit you’re about to let me do.” you were about to shoot back something equally stupid, something unhinged, something desperate and mean and wet with anticipation—
but he took a step closer.
just one.
and it was enough to send your breath hitching and your back pressing gently against the wall of the stall like you needed to hold the whole building up. you could smell him now—cigarettes, aftershave, sweat, and something else, something feral and tired and male, the kind of scent that made you feel like a house left unlocked.
he raised a hand.
not to grab you. not yet. he just rested it on the wall beside your head, knuckles ghosting the tile, his eyes boring down into yours like he was looking through you. like he was checking for rot.
“you don’t even know how good you look right now,” he murmured, and his voice sounded wrecked—torn at the edges, too old for this, too fucked up to know better, too close to the edge.
you whispered, “then tell me.”
he laughed.
short. breathy. not nice.
“nah,” he said. “gonna show you.”
still—still—he didn’t touch you.
he let the silence wrap around the both of you like plastic, like a vacuum seal, like the breath between the lightning and the thunder. he let you feel the heat crawling up your neck, let your hands twitch at your sides like they wanted something to hold onto before the world caved in.
his eyes didn’t leave yours. not once.
and when he finally, finally leaned in, mouth brushing close enough to yours that you could feel the shape of the words more than you heard them, he said—
“say please.”
you exhaled so sharply it stuttered.
and then—
“no.”
his grin was all teeth. no mirth. no kindness. just hunger dressed up like satisfaction.
“good,” he said. “don’t beg yet.”
and he leaned back.
waited.
waited for you to break first.
and fuck—
you wanted to.
you moved without thinking. or maybe you were thinking too much—just not with the part of your brain responsible for restraint. maybe it was the tequila, or the way his voice slithered under your skin like something hot and reckless, or the way he still hadn’t touched you first, like he was trying to prove a point. you pushed him.
both hands flat against his chest, sudden, hard, more force than you meant but less than he deserved, and he let you, let you shove him back until he stumbled into the closed janitor’s closet behind him. his legs hit the lip of the metal threshold, knees bending with a grunt, and he sank down onto the makeshift seat like he wanted to be there—like he’d planned it all along.
and then his hands—fuck, those hands—were on your thighs.
rough palms, calloused fingers, thick enough to bruise without meaning to. he didn’t trail them up. didn’t tease. he gripped, greedy, dragging you forward like you were already claimed. his touch lit a fuse somewhere behind your sternum. your breath stuttered, caught, and your hips moved before your mind caught up, knees hitting the outside of his legs as you let yourself be pulled between them like gravity was a kink.
your hands landed on his shoulders to steady yourself, fingertips pressing into solid muscle wrapped in cotton and heat. you could feel it—him—beneath the thin fabric of his shirt: the thick slope of his traps, the unforgiving hardness of a man who spent too much time in fights and not enough in therapy.
“jesus,” you breathed, unthinking.
“what?”
your palms slid over the lines of him, feeling the definition like it had something to tell you, like each inch of him was a secret your hands could decode.
“you’re so fucking hot,” you muttered, half to yourself.
toji chuckled. it was low and mean and full of dirt. like he’d heard it before, but it still pleased him in that deeply male, deeply awful way.
“you climbin’ on or just gonna compliment me to death?”
you didn’t answer.
you straddled him.
slow, deliberate, dragging your knees over his thighs until your hips settled down onto his lap, the heat of him pressed tight against the inside of your thighs like a confession he didn’t have to say out loud. you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying not to moan at how fucking big he was—everything about him. wide shoulders. thick neck. those awful, perfect hands still gripping your thighs like he owned them.
your nose brushed against his jaw, and for a second, you didn’t move. didn’t kiss. didn’t speak.
you just inhaled.
his scent hit you in the teeth—spice and sweat and something darker, older, something like woodsmoke and nights without sleep. it wasn’t cologne. it was him. it made your eyes flutter shut for a second longer than you meant to.
then your lips ghosted against the side of his neck, soft, barely there, just enough to taste the salt and heat of him. “what’s your name?” you asked into his skin, voice breathless. he didn’t answer right away. you kissed his neck again, slower this time, tongue just barely tasting him. he exhaled, rough. “toji.”
you hummed like it was a meal, a warm word you could chew on. “toji,” you repeated, testing it, letting it sit on your tongue like liquor.
you kissed just under his jaw. “are you married, toji?”
he huffed. not quite a laugh.
“nah. divorced. long time ago.”
you let your lips linger at his throat, barely touching, feeling his pulse jump just under the skin. “why’d she leave?” his voice was quiet this time. bitter. real. “ran off with some other guy. wanted something better, i guess.” you pulled back a little, just enough to look at him, brushing a stray piece of hair off his forehead with one finger. he was staring at you, eyes darker now, more guarded, but not pulling away.
you tilted your head and said, low and smug and filthy-sweet, “someone’s trash is someone’s treasure, y’know.”
toji snorted. actually snorted, head tilting back slightly, a rough sound in the back of his throat like amusement had caught him off guard. his hands flexed on your thighs, thumbs digging into the meat like he needed an anchor.
“you callin’ me trash, baby?”
you grinned, lips brushing against his cheekbone.
“only if you want me to recycle you.”
his laugh this time was full—short, sharp, almost surprised. you felt it through your whole body, the vibration rolling up his chest into yours. he looked at you like you were an accident he wasn’t sure he regretted yet.
“you’re mouthy,” he muttered.
“you’re old,” you shot back.
“and yet,” his hand slid up, resting heavy against your ass, “you’re in my lap.”
you leaned in again, lips brushing against the shell of his ear.
“so what’re you gonna do about it?”
toji leaned back, just enough to look you in the eyes, a slow, deliberate smirk pulling at the scar on his lip.
“whatever the fuck i want.”
you smiled.
“good.”
your hands started moving before your mouth did—fingers trailing down the slope of his shoulder, slow and shameless, brushing over the tight fabric of his shirt, down across the sharp cut of his chest. you could feel the muscles shift beneath your palms, all dense and unforgiving, like stone that had decided to grow teeth. he wasn’t just strong. he was engineered. like god got horny once and never did it again.
you were still waiting for him to touch you properly.
but you were starting to think the waiting was the whole goddamn point.
you dragged your fingers lower, feeling every groove of him, every inch mapped like sin beneath your hands. his abs were taut, hard, ridiculous—less six-pack, more topographical map of a mountain range you wanted to get lost in. they flexed when you touched them, a subtle twitch under your fingertips like his body was reacting on its own, and it made your thighs clench around his lap.
“jesus christ,” you muttered, reverent and obscene at once. “what the fuck do you do? bench-press small cars? choke people for a living?”
toji smirked without answering. that same little twist of his mouth, one corner pulling up like it wanted to make fun of you, like it knew how dumb you sounded—like he made people talk like that just by existing. you didn’t let him speak. you pushed your palm flat against the cut of his abs, slow circles, down toward his navel, and grinned, breath hot against his jaw.
“i could literally squirt just from humping your stomach,” you said, blunt as a knife. “just grind on these things like a fucking degenerate and ruin your whole shirt.”
toji barked out a short, rough laugh—sharp enough to show teeth, mean enough to make your pulse stutter. “you’re disgusting.”
“and you’re enabling me.”
“you say that like it’s a problem.”
you let your hand drift lower still—not far enough to be a real threat yet, just enough to tease, then slid it back up again, slowly, nails dragging over the ridges of his stomach like you were mapping the way you’d ride him. your other hand stayed locked behind his neck, nails lightly scraping along the curve of his nape, anchoring you there in his lap, where you didn’t belong, where you wanted to live forever.
and then your hand found his chest again.
specifically; his nipple.
you didn’t hesitate. just caught it between your thumb and finger and gave it a little tug.
he flinched.
not big. not obvious. just a twitch—shoulders shifting under your palm, his hips tightening under yours, a low sound catching in his throat like something he hadn’t meant to make. and it lit you up. a flare of heat, sharp and fast, blooming behind your sternum like something you’d swallowed was fighting to get out.
“huh,” you said, grinning like a cat with something twitching between its teeth. “you’re sensitive.”
toji’s eyes flicked up to meet yours, slower than before. darker.
“keep talkin’ like that, baby,” he said, low and warning, “you’re gonna find out how long it’s been since someone made me come.”
your stomach flipped.
not from fear. from anticipation.
you pinched again, slower this time, more curious than cruel, watching the way his chest moved with the pressure, how his breath hitched before he swallowed it down. “i like you like this,” you murmured, leaning in again, lips brushing the underside of his jaw. “all rough and ready to break shit, but twitchy when i touch you just right.”
“nobody touches me like that.”
you kissed just below his ear.
“shame,” you said.
your voice dropped to a whisper, low and mean and sweet at once.
“i’ll fix that.”
he exhaled hard through his nose, chest rising beneath your hand. his fingers dug harder into your thighs, like he wanted to grip bone, like he wanted to see if your skin would remember him tomorrow.
“you’re not scared of me,” he muttered, almost like it was a question.
“should i be?”
his lip twitched. “probably.”
you smiled, letting your lips ghost over the sharp angle of his jaw, thumb brushing lazily across his nipple again, slower now, testing him. “then maybe i want to be a little scared.”
his hands slid higher on your thighs, thumbs pressing in slow circles, rough, patient, menacing, the kind of touch that wasn’t asking for permission—it was letting you pretend you still had a choice.
“you keep teasing like that,” he said, voice lower now, quieter, dead calm, “and i’m gonna stop being polite.” you rolled your hips forward just enough to feel him through his jeans—hot, hard, there. “you’ve been polite?” you said, eyes wide and false, mocking. “this is you being polite?”
he laughed again. slower this time. darker.
“baby,” he said, fingers curling into your skin, “you have no fucking idea.” and still—he hadn’t kissed you. not once. and it was driving you insane.
you were perched in his lap like temptation incarnate, like a sin wrapped in skin and glitter, thighs bracketing his like you were made to ride things that broke people, hands still playing soft and obscene over his chest like you didn’t know what restraint meant, like you were touching something sacred just to see if it bled.
toji hadn’t moved much. not in the obvious way. not in the way most men do when they’ve got someone straddling them, whispering filth into their jaw like a sacrament. no, he was too still, too composed, like a bomb wired too carefully to detonate early. like he wanted to wait. to build it. let it stretch. to hold onto the tension until it snapped in your mouth.
your fingers were still teasing across his chest—idling over the muscle, flicking once more over that sensitive spot just beneath his nipple, watching for the way his stomach flinched or the corners of his mouth twitched. you liked it. you loved it. how it made him twitch, how it made his hands twitch harder against your thighs like they wanted to move but were waiting for your next line, like he wanted to see just how much worse you could get.
you leaned in again, lips hovering by his throat, breath hot and unkind.
“you ever had a girl ride your abs?” you asked, voice like melted sugar poured down someone’s back—sweet, but meant to burn. “like, actually just sit on your stomach and get off like it was nothing? bet they haven’t. bet none of them could handle it.”
his breath stuttered.
“jesus,” he muttered.
“nah,” you grinned, dragging your teeth just lightly along his neck, not biting—yet—just there, a whisper of promise. “but you can call me that if it helps.” he growled. actually growled. a sound low in his chest like something cornered and annoyed it liked it.
and finally—finally—his hands left your thighs. not far, just sliding up, rough palms dragging over your skin, slow and heated and full of intent. he cupped your hips like he was trying to feel the bones underneath, thumbs pressing into the meat of you with a bruiser’s patience.
you moved against him—barely, just a roll of your hips, a shift that let your weight settle over the thick press of him under his jeans, and god, fuck, it felt obscene. it made your breath hitch and his jaw clench, and the stall felt too small for what was building, the air too thick, like you were breathing in each other’s heat, each other’s worse instincts.
you whispered, lips against the shell of his ear, “you like this?”
toji didn’t answer right away. just let his hands slide down again, gripping tighter, thumbs dipping under the hem of your skirt like they were testing your limits.
“you know how long it’s been since anyone touched me?” he said, voice low, almost flat, like he wasn’t sure why he was telling you. “since anyone looked at me without seeing a mess, a fuckin’ has-been?”
you pulled back, just a little, enough to look at him, eyes meeting his with something like interest wrapped in something darker. not pity. not sympathy. just hunger. focused and real.
“how long?” you asked softly, fingers still on his chest, dragging down again, slow and hungry. he looked past you for a second. somewhere to the side. not even seeing the busted stall wall anymore. something older, in his voice now. broken-glass honesty.
“eight years. almost nine.”
you stared.
and then, with a wicked little smile curling your lips, you whispered, “someone’s trash…”
toji’s mouth twitched.
“…is someone’s treasure,” you finished, breathless, grin wide and smug and so, so stupid.
he barked a laugh, surprised and feral.
“you really just called me trash again.”
you shrugged. “i mean. recycled goods. eco-conscious dick. saving the planet.”
“you’re fucking insane,” he said, voice pitched like he might start laughing again or snap your waistband with his teeth.
you leaned forward, pressed your forehead against his, your lips barely a breath from his. “and you’re letting me sit on your lap in a bathroom stall. so what does that make you?”
he grinned.
all teeth. all bad decisions.
“about to make the worst choice of my goddamn life.”
“good,” you breathed. “i was worried we were on different pages.”
your arms wrapped tighter around his neck, fingers curling into the hair at his nape. his hands slid back up, under your skirt now, warm palms against your ass, fingers flexing like he needed to touch you everywhere before his brain caught up.
and still.
he hadn’t kissed you.
and you were starting to go crazy with it.
your eyes met again. his were darker now. heavy. hungry.
but he waited.
he wanted you to crack first.
“fucking kiss me,” you hissed, voice wrecked.
he smirked.
“say please,” toji said again, like a fucking ritual, and this time—
this time you almost said it.
you held his stare like a dare, like you were trying to outlast a god, both of you locked in this awful, exquisite standoff of breath and blood and the terrible pressure of almost—his hands hot on your hips, your thighs burning around him, the tension between your bodies so taut it felt like it would hum if someone plucked it. and still, no kiss. not yet. like he needed one more act of worship before he let your mouths meet. like he wanted you naked before he let himself feel anything sweet.
fine. fuck it. you’d do it yourself.
you shifted in his lap, slow and deliberate, dragging your hands back from his shoulders to the hem of your top, fingers curling under the fabric like you were peeling off something sacred. you kept your eyes on his—watching the way his pupils swallowed up the green when he realized what you were doing—lifting your shirt up over your ribs, higher, higher, until the fabric slipped past your chin and you tossed it off to the side without ceremony.
no bra. piercings.
because of course not.
just bare skin and pierced nipples, glinting silver in the dirty fluorescent light like jewelry for the kind of girl who knew she wasn’t soft, who never pretended she was.
you didn’t speak.
you just sat there, half-naked in his lap in a goddamn club bathroom, chest heaving, nipples hard in the cold air, the metal rings catching the light like something dangerous, something mean, something that needed to be touched wrong to be touched right. and you watched him, watched how he breathed—just once, just sharp—and how his hands flexed like they didn’t know whether to grab your waist or punch through the stall wall.
“well, fuck me,” toji muttered, voice thick now, ruined with it. “no wonder you’ve been talking like you wanna go to hell. you’re built like you already run the place.”
you smiled, smug and filthy and lit from within.
“told you,” you whispered. “eco-conscious. sustainable. slutty.”
his mouth twitched. not a full smile—he was too gone for that now, too inside-out with the need to play it cool—but it was there. something dangerous and animal moved across his face, and then he leaned in. you thought he was finally going to kiss you. you felt it. the moment before detonation. but instead— his head dropped.
and he latched onto your nipple.
“fuck—”
your back arched like a whip, hands flying to his shoulders again, nails digging in without thinking, mouth falling open with something more breath than sound. toji sucked, slow and heavy, his tongue sliding over the barbell and pressing into the sensitive flesh around it like he wanted to make you cry. his mouth was hot, his stubble scraped, and when his teeth grazed just a little too sharp you gasped, hips rolling down into his lap like it was reflex.
his hands gripped your ass again, anchoring you, holding you down while he switched sides, mouth closing over your other nipple like he was starving and you were something he’d earned by bleeding for it. his groan vibrated through you, low and primal and filthy, and when he pulled back there was spit on your skin, cooling fast, and his face was flushed in a way that made something deep in your belly twist and spark.
“jesus christ,” he said hoarsely. “you’re unreal.”
“you’re the one with your mouth on my tits,” you shot back, voice too high, too tight, shaking a little, “don’t go blaming me now.”
“not blaming,” he muttered, still staring at your chest like he might bite again. “just... christ. you’re like a fuckin’ problem someone dared me to solve with my mouth.”
and then—finally—he moved.
his hand came up, one big palm on the side of your face, warm and rough and steady, and his thumb brushed over your cheek like he was trying to decide if you were real. your breath caught. your whole body tightened.
and then he kissed you.
hard.
not sweet, not gentle, not even patient. just full, just everything, like he was trying to make up for every minute he hadn’t touched you, every year he hadn’t been touched himself. his mouth crashed into yours with the force of someone who’d been starving for too long and had finally been thrown a pulse, all teeth and tongue and hunger, one hand cradling your head and the other gripping your ass like he wanted to fuse you to him.
you moaned into his mouth, loud and broken, grinding down against his lap because your body didn’t know what else to do, because he tasted like heat and fury and something lost, and you never wanted to stop.
“toji,” you gasped against his lips, not even knowing what you were going to say next.
he pulled back just enough to growl, “yeah?”
and you didn’t say anything.
you just kissed him again, harder, because there was no language for this anymore. just mouths. and need. and heat. and the feeling that if you weren’t careful, this man was going to leave fingerprints on your soul.
the kiss was a full-body event, not just mouths but movement, grip, heat, the wild pressure of skin-on-skin with nowhere to go and too much to say. it didn’t matter that you were half-naked in a club bathroom stall where the floor smelled like a crime scene and the walls were so thin you could hear someone vomiting two doors down—none of that mattered, because toji’s mouth was on yours like he was carving something out of you, like he was writing his name behind your teeth, and you were letting him, eagerly, shamelessly, drunk on it, high on it, completely undone.
his tongue pushed past your lips like he belonged there, slow and deep, not searching—claiming, like he’d waited a decade for a mouth that tasted this wrong and this right all at once. you moaned into it, hands tangling in his hair now, that thick, unruly mess of black you wanted to pull until he begged, your body moving without your consent, grinding against his lap like a goddamn heat-seeking missile. every movement made you more desperate, more soaked, more stupid, and the worst part was he knew it—you could feel it in the way he kissed you, like he was humoring your urgency but didn’t need to rush, because he could have you whenever he wanted.
“fuck,” he muttered against your lips, pulling back just enough to look at you—flushed, breathless, pupils blown wide like a blackout curtain had dropped behind his eyes. “look at you. look at you, fuckin’ shaking just from kissing.”
“you kiss like it’s a crime,” you gasped, but it came out half a whimper, too much pleasure in your voice to be convincing. “like—fuck—like you’re trying to make me come with your mouth alone.”
toji grinned, cocky and dangerous and filthy.
“maybe i am. you wet for me already, sweetheart?”
you didn’t answer, because your hips were doing it for you—rocking down against his jeans with so much friction you wanted to cry, the seam catching you just enough, the pressure building, and his cock so hard beneath you it felt like punishment. you were dripping, underwear soaked through, thighs shaking, and his hands weren’t helping—palms wide on your ass, rocking you down, grinding you into him like he wanted to wear you out before he even got your panties off.
“fuckin’ soaked, aren’t you?” he said, voice a rasp now, low and hot in your ear. “you’re gonna leave a mark on my fuckin’ jeans, baby. ruin me before i even get my dick out.”
“then do it,” you snapped, voice wrecked. “let me. let me ruin you.”
toji groaned, head dropping to your shoulder as he laughed, low and obscene.
“shit. listen to you. needy little brat.”
you tightened your grip on his shoulders, biting down on a gasp as he rocked you harder against him, the rhythm slow but filthy, your clit catching against the fabric with every pass, the wetness between your legs making your thighs slick where they touched his jeans.
“look at you,” he said again, voice softer now but still thick with want. “grinding like a fuckin’ bitch in heat. that what you need, baby? someone to tell you how good you are while you ride his lap in a public bathroom like a fuckin’ slut?”
“yes,” you breathed, and there was no dignity in it, no irony, just raw honesty. “yes, yes, fuck, say it again.”
he sat up straighter, one hand sliding up your back, warm and steady, the other gripping your hip tight enough to leave bruises. his lips were back on your throat now, trailing kisses—no, bites, little sharp things that made you twitch and gasp and roll your hips harder.
“you’re so good,” he growled. “so fuckin’ pretty like this. filthy little thing. bet no one’s ever let you get this messy before.”
“they haven’t,” you whispered, high and wild and broken.
“of course they haven’t,” he muttered, hand sliding between your bodies now, cupping your pussy through your soaked panties. “’cause they’re not me.”
you cried out when his fingers pressed down, through the fabric, right against your clit, and he just held them there, didn’t move yet, just the pressure of it, the presence of it, as if to say i can give you everything, but only if i want to.
“you’re shaking,” he said again, almost in awe. “look at you. fuck. look how bad you want it.”
you nodded, frantic, rolling your hips, chasing the friction.
“please,” you whispered. “please, please—”
toji leaned in, mouth on your jaw, lips dragging across your ear.
“there it is,” he said, dark and triumphant. “that’s what i wanted. beg for it, baby. you want me to make you come like this? just from grinding?”
“yes, yes—i can—i will—”
“fuckin’ right you will,” he growled. “’cause you’re perfect. you’re fuckin’ perfect, and this pussy—fuck, this pussy’s gonna soak me right through, isn’t it?”
you moaned—high and desperate and completely gone—because he was right, he was so right, and your body was already pulling taut, everything tingling, building, the whole world narrowing to the heat between your legs and the sound of his voice and the rock of your hips on his lap, friction blurring into pleasure so loud it drowned out thought.
and still—he hadn’t taken your panties off. still—he hadn’t even kissed your neck where you needed it. still—he wasn’t fucking you. not yet. because this was just the beginning. and he wanted to see how far you’d fall before he even let you come.
your cunt was throbbing. soaked through the sheer cotton of your underwear, the whole front of it stuck tight to your slit like second skin, every slow, cruel grind against the thick bulge in toji’s jeans shooting sparks up your spine, dragging friction across your clit so hot it felt like electricity, like punishment, like prayer—but no salvation was coming. not here. not yet.
toji wasn’t letting you have it easy.
no, he was watching you come apart, eyes hooded, lips parted, one hand on your ass, the other flat against the small of your back like he was holding you in place just to observe the mess you were making of yourself. and you were making a fucking mess—your hips rolling in slow, stuttering circles, breath hitching every time your clit caught just right, every time the angle hit that spot that made your vision spark at the edges. his jeans were dark with your slick now. it had soaked clean through, turned the rough denim into something humid and hot and obscene, and he hadn’t even moved.
he grinned, teeth bared, voice dragging out of his chest like it was dipped in smoke and sin.
“look at you,” he murmured, so low it didn’t sound real. “fuckin’ drooling on my lap. like you don’t even know how to behave.”
you whimpered, not even trying to deny it, not even trying to stop your hips anymore, just grinding down harder, faster, more desperate, using him like he was a thing, like a toy, and he loved it—you could tell, could feel how hard he was under you, thick and unyielding, the heat of him seeping through denim and cotton and skin like he was burning from the inside out.
“you hear that?” he whispered, mouth brushing your ear now, lips hot and damp and cruel. “you’re so wet, baby, i can hear you. hear this pretty pussy workin’ for it. tryin’ so hard to come on me like you need it.”
“i do,” you gasped, voice shaking. “i need it, toji, please—”
“i know you do,” he said, thumb dragging up your spine, slow and firm, like he was petting something wild and ready to snap. “you need it so bad you’d hump my fuckin’ abs if i let you. you’d sit on my chest like a good little toy and make yourself come.”
you whined, high-pitched and helpless, hips stuttering now, every pass over his cock sending your body into convulsions, little aftershocks building toward something brutal. your hands were shaking against his chest, nails digging in, trying to anchor yourself before your own body betrayed you.
“that’s it,” toji growled, voice thick, breath warm on your neck. “grind on me, baby. come for me. come just like this, messy little thing, fuckin’ beautiful.”
and that word—beautiful—punched through you like a nail through soft wood, splitting you open. it was too much. it broke something.
you gasped again, mouth falling open, eyes rolling back just a little, because your orgasm hit you like a freight train, fast and catastrophic and undeniable, hips jerking, thighs shaking around him as your whole body locked up, tight and twitching and slick. your clit pulsed against the rough drag of his jeans, and for a second all you could hear was static, breath and heartbeat and the hot wet sound of your soaked underwear sticking to your cunt like your body wanted to keep the memory.
“fuck,” toji groaned, voice dark and ragged, eyes glued to your face as you came. “that’s it. just like that. god damn, look at you—so good, baby. so fuckin’ good for me.”
you were barely breathing, shaking like a leaf in a storm, your whole body undone on top of him, and still, his hands held you steady, let you ride it out, let you grind through the aftershocks like he wanted to feel every single second of your ruin. his hand came up to your cheek, fingers curling around your jaw, thumb brushing your bottom lip as you gasped, stunned and half-feral.
“you ever come like that before?” he asked, low and smug and so, so filthy.
you shook your head, dazed.
“thought so,” he said. “’cause no one else knows what to do with a pussy like yours, baby. they don’t know how to look at you, let alone fuck you right.”
you whimpered, half-laughing, tears stinging your eyes now, overstimulated and shaking and so full of want it was making you stupid.
“you’re a fuckin’ dream,” he said, quieter now, voice warmer, almost reverent. “you know that? filthy little mouth, perfect tits, pussy that sings for me—you were made for this. for me.”
you nodded, breath catching. “say it again.”
toji smirked, eyes glinting, one hand sliding back down to your waist as he pulled you forward again.
“you were made for me.”
and god help you, you believed him.
your hands were trembling, still shaky from the wreck of that first orgasm, your thighs twitching around his lap, soaked panties clinging to your slit like a brand, like shame, like proof—and toji hadn’t even fucked you yet. he was still fully dressed, his shirt damp with sweat from where your chest had pressed against him, his jeans dark from your slick, and his cock—fuck, you could feel it, all of it—was still locked away like a weapon waiting for deployment.
and it was time. it was fucking time.
you leaned back just enough to give yourself space, your palms still braced on his chest, steadying you as your breath came hot and uneven through your nose, mouth parted, your lips still wet from kissing, from moaning, and you looked down between your bodies like it was something sacred. his belt was half-undone already, buckle hanging open from where your desperate grinding had loosened it—like even the metal couldn’t handle what was coming.
“fuck, baby,” you breathed, fingers fumbling at the leather, dragging it the rest of the way through the loops. “your cock’s been pressing into me like it’s got its own fuckin’ mind.”
toji let out a low chuckle, something dark and frayed around the edges.
“it does,” he said. “it’s been waitin’. patient. even though you’ve been bouncin’ on it like a fuckin’ toy.”
you popped the button, pulled down the zipper with a long, slow zzzzrrk that felt like it echoed in the stall, louder than the bass outside, louder than the sound of your own heart trying to punch through your ribs. your fingers dipped into the waistband of his boxers, dragging them low enough to see the top of it—veins, thick and pulsing, and just so much of him already visible before you’d even freed it. your eyes widened.
“holy shit,” you muttered.
he grinned, teeth flashing under the sick overhead light. “what?”
you didn’t answer right away. your hands moved again, both of them, pushing the waistband down further, and then—
you let him out.
his cock slapped against his lower stomach, heavy, dark and flushed, slick already at the tip, a thick drop of precum glistening like it belonged in your mouth. it was obscene—long, fat, veiny as hell, the kind of dick that looked like it needed its own leash, its own warning label, its own space. the veins ran thick up the shaft, winding under skin pulled tight like leather, like the blood barely fit inside him. his head was broad, a little darker than the rest, flushed near purple, and leaking like it was angry he hadn’t buried it yet.
you swallowed, one hand wrapping around the base—your fingers not meeting—and your other sliding up from the middle to the head, both hands now working together to hold him. “you’re built like a fuckin’ war crime,” you said, voice shaking somewhere between awe and horny delirium. “of course your cock’s this big. stupid big. like—jesus—i should call a priest. or a contractor. fuckin’ get structural support.”
toji moaned.
not soft. not gentle. not theatrical.
a real moan—gut-deep, choked out of him, like your words had done something, like the way your hands moved up and down his shaft, slow and reverent, was too much.
“fuck, you’re perfect,” he rasped, hips twitching once into your grip. “both hands and you still can’t hold all of me? fuckin’ look at that. look at how pretty you are, baby. jerkin’ me off like you wanna worship it.”
you grinned, dazed, breath catching as your thumbs swept over the head, spreading the precum, watching the way his abs flexed every time you touched him right. “i do wanna worship it,” you said. “fuckin’ temple-level. build a church around this dick and let me live in it.”
toji laughed again—short, loud, fucked.
“gonna make me come just from talkin’, baby,” he muttered, voice frayed and sharp. “keep goin’. keep fuckin’ sayin’ that shit.”
you stroked him harder now, slow and tight, twisting a little near the head just to hear the way he groaned, to feel the twitch in your hands.
“you know what this looks like?” you whispered, leaning close again, mouth brushing his jaw as your hand kept working. “like something that ruins girls. like something that splits ‘em open, wrecks ‘em, makes ‘em talk in tongues. you ever see a girl cry while sittin’ on your dick, toji?”
“more than once,” he said, hoarse, hips jerking again. “none of ‘em sounded as fuckin’ good as you, though. jesus—your voice, baby—gonna ruin me.”
“i wanna ruin you.”
your thumb brushed the tip again, slow and teasing.
“wanna fuckin’ sit on it till i can’t talk. ride you till my legs give out. wanna let you fuck the brat outta me.” he hissed through his teeth, hips bucking, precum now sliding slick over your hands, warm and messy.
“sayin’ all that while jerkin’ me off in a stall,” he panted, head falling back against the wall. “fuck, you’re filthy. filthy and so fuckin’ good, baby. look at you. makin’ me feel like this without even sittin’ on it yet.”
you leaned in, voice low, breath hot against his ear.
“you’re gonna fuck me with this, toji?”
“yeah,” he growled, breath hot and shaking. “gonna fuck you stupid. gonna split you open nice and slow, make you feel every inch. make you remember it for the rest of your life.”
your cunt clenched so hard your knees almost gave out.
and you were still holding his cock like it was the goddamn holy grail.
and you hadn’t even put it in yet.
your hands kept moving, steady now, smooth and slick and reverent like you’d done this a thousand times in a dream and were only now getting the holy chance to do it for real. both palms wrapped around the base of him, moving slow, tight, twisting slightly as you reached the top, thumbs spreading the precum over the flushed head, watching it glisten like something sacrilegious, like something stolen from a shrine. your fingers couldn’t meet even at the base—he was that thick, obscene, heavy in your hands like a weapon built for ruin, and fuck, you wanted to ruin yourself with it.
toji was watching you with a look that should’ve been illegal. half-lidded eyes dark as molasses, lips parted, panting through his teeth like your touch was pulling him apart vein by vein. his chest was heaving under his shirt, soaked with sweat at the collar, and his hips kept twitching just barely into your grip, like he wanted to fuck your fists but was too caught up in the sight of you doing it so willingly, so hungrily, like you loved it. like you were meant for it.
and you did. you fucking did.
you leaned down, let your mouth hover over his cock, eyes never leaving his, and spat.
a long string of it, wet and glistening, landing right on the swollen tip with a lewd little splat, mixing with the precum already smeared across the head, and your hands caught it, smeared it all over, rubbing it in with a filthy grin like you were lotioning up something that lived in hell.
toji hissed—low and feral and wrecked.
“fuck, baby—”
you giggled, soft and wicked, your voice a little hoarse now from all the moaning, but still steady enough to say the worst thing you’d been thinking since the second you saw his cock, “no offense, toji,” you said sweetly, rubbing both hands up and down his shaft, slow and tight, watching him twitch with every pass, “but your ex-wife’s a stupid cunt.”
his eyes widened a little, surprised, maybe delighted.
you kept going, dragging your fist up to just below the head and twisting it there, circling with your thumb while you talked.
“like—look at this fucking dick. are you serious?” you laughed, breathless, bouncing slightly in his lap as your strokes sped up, hot slick sounds echoing in the tiny, awful stall. “you were sittin’ on this at home, and she cheated? left you for some guy with a fuckin’ linkedin account? is she brain-dead?”
toji let out a choked laugh, a single short bark of disbelief before it collapsed into a groan, head tipping back as his hands flexed hard on your waist.
“you’re gonna kill me,” he muttered, breathless, fucked-out already. “fuckin’ mouth on you—goddamn.”
you leaned in, kissed his throat, then licked a stripe up the side of it just to feel him shudder. “i’m serious,” you whispered, licking the shell of his ear now. “if i had a dick like this at home, i’d quit my job. stop seeing my friends. stop eating solid food. i’d be on it twenty-four seven. dick-drunk. knees sore. brain empty. happy.”
he was groaning now, full-bodied, desperate, the veins on his cock standing out like corded rope, the tip leaking freely, your spit and his precum slicking your hands, dripping down his shaft onto his jeans like a signature.
you pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, still stroking, still rubbing your thumb over the head, still letting him feel how good your hands were, how attentive, like you were worshipping something carved out of divine filth.
“i’m gonna put it in now.”
toji’s eyes snapped to yours, wild and almost scared—not of you, not of the act, but of what it was going to do to him.
“you sure?” he rasped. “you’re still fuckin’—you just came once, you’re already twitchin’, baby—i’m big, you know that. i’ll fuckin’ split you open.”
you smiled, slow and sweet and full of madness.
“i want you to.”
his breath caught. his hips twitched.
“fuck,” he groaned. “you’re gonna make me blow just from that. you’re gonna make me lose my fuckin’ mind.”
you rocked forward in his lap, pressing your soaked panties against the head of his cock, and gasped, because even that—even through cotton—felt like it shouldn’t fit. like your body wasn’t made for this kind of sin. but you were going to do it anyway. you were going to take it.
you reached down, dragged the tip against your slit, up and down through your panties, slow, teasing, not slipping him in yet, just letting him feel how soaked you were, how ready, how stupid you were for him.
“feel that?” you whispered, lips brushing his. “that’s all for you. no one else’s ever made me this wet. not even close.”
toji groaned—loud, desperate, unhinged—and his hands gripped your hips like he was holding back the apocalypse.
“jesus fuckin’ christ,” he muttered.
and you smiled.
because you hadn’t even started.
you were still straddling him, thighs shaking slightly from the aftershocks of your orgasm and from the slow, throbbing ache that had taken root deep between your legs—the kind of ache that didn’t want relief, just more. the kind of ache that whispered take it, take it all, it’s supposed to hurt a little. and now, with your hands trembling where they rested against his stomach, and his cock leaking against the soaked crotch of your panties, thick and flushed and too much, you knew it wasn’t going to be simple. this wasn’t gonna be easy. this wasn’t something you could laugh through.
and still—you pushed your panties aside.
fingers hooking under the soaked elastic, dragging the thin cotton to the side, just enough to expose the wet, swollen mess between your thighs, your lips slick and shining, your hole already fluttering like it knew, like your body was trying to brace for the sheer obscenity of what you were about to force inside it.
“fuck,” toji rasped, eyes dropping like a gravitational pull to your cunt, the way it glistened, twitching right there in front of him. “jesus fucking christ. you’re dripping down your thighs.”
you laughed, high and breathless, reaching down with one hand to angle his cock upright, the other gripping his shoulder so tight your nails left little white crescents in his skin.
“you’ve been talking like you’re a curse, toji,” you whispered, guiding the thick, throbbing head to your entrance. “but i didn’t know you were a goddamn plague.”
he grinned—hungry and crooked and wild—but then his breath caught when the head pressed right up against your pussy, just resting there, the blunt heat of it right there on your soaked little opening.
and even that was too much.
you tried to push down, slowly—just your weight alone, just letting gravity and desperation carry you—and your face immediately twisted, eyes fluttering shut, mouth falling open in a gasp so choked it was almost silent. the stretch was unbearable. hot. wrong. like you were trying to take something not built for human use. like your cunt was clenching out of protest instead of pleasure.
you managed maybe half an inch before your body stopped.
“oh—oh my god,” you whined, already breathless, head tipping forward onto his shoulder. “fuck, fuck, fuck, i didn’t—i didn’t know it would be this hard—”
toji’s hands were on your hips, steadying you, holding you like you were fragile, like you were made of wet glass and sin. he let out a low, strained chuckle, but it wasn’t cruel—it was soft, disbelieving, tender in the kind of filthy way only he could be.
“yeah,” he murmured against your temple, kissing the side of your head as you shuddered, “yeah, baby, i know. it’s a lot. ‘course it’s a lot. fuckin’ told you, didn’t i? said i’d split you open.”
“you are,” you moaned, and your voice cracked near the end, tight with frustration and arousal and the aching urge to take more. “you’re huge, toji, i can’t—fuck, i’m trying—”
his lips brushed your cheekbone, hot and steady.
“you’re doin’ perfect,” he murmured, voice barely a breath. “so good for me. such a good girl. fuckin’ takin’ it, even when it hurts. fuck, you feel how tight you are? grippin’ just the tip, baby—like you don’t wanna let go.”
you whimpered, nails dragging down his chest now, trying to breathe, trying to focus, trying to push through the burn, but your eyes stung and you blinked, and then—
tears spilled.
not sobbing, not dramatic—just the sting of it, the overwhelm, the deep wanting that had nowhere to go but out. “hey,” toji said softly, tilting your face toward him, his thumb brushing the corner of your eye. “what’s this? cryin’ on my cock already?”
he kissed the tear before it could slide down your cheek, then another, his mouth gentle, reverent, filthy in the way it held you. not mocking. not laughing.
just there. with you.
“fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered, voice hot against your skin. “you’re so pretty when you cry. so perfect when you fall apart for me. you’re takin’ me so good, sweetheart, fuck—look at you. you’re stretchin’ so fuckin’ sweet around me.”
you nodded, teeth clenched, moaning as you lowered yourself another inch, the stretch burning now, unbearable and addictive, your body split wide around the sheer girth of him, your cunt fluttering, clenching, trying to make room where there wasn’t any.
your voice cracked again.
“hurts—fuck—it hurts so good, toji—”
“that’s it,” he breathed, hips shifting just slightly, just enough to make you feel it deeper, wider, more. “that’s what i like. feelin’ you break yourself open for it. god damn, you’re made for this.”
“you keep—keep saying that,” you whimpered, tears slipping down again, dripping onto his shoulder, “like i was built for your dick.”
his grin returned—soft and sharp and filthy.
“you were. this pussy was made to take me. look how tight you are, baby—like you never needed anyone else but me.”
and slowly—inch by agonizing, glorious inch—you sank down further.
and further.
and still—he wasn’t all the way in. not yet. but you were going to take every inch. even if it killed you. especially if it killed you.
your body gave in before your mind did—hips twitching, thighs trembling, breath shuddering out of your lungs as the last brutal stretch of him finally slid in, your cunt choking around the thick base of his cock with a helpless, involuntary clench, like it didn’t want to let him go, like it didn’t know how to survive him.
you gasped—mouth wide, head tipped back, neck exposed like something sacrificial, your whole body tensed and arching, and then relaxing, melting into it, as the blunt weight of him bottomed out inside you, seat to base, thick and pulsing, plugged so deep your belly felt full, your muscles trembling around the stretch like they didn’t believe it was over.
and toji—fucking toji—just exhaled through his teeth, mouth parted in some stunned version of a smile that looked like it might unhinge him, watching your face with something close to awe.
“shit,” he murmured, low and hoarse and broken. “you fuckin’ took it.”
you whined. actually whined, because that fullness, that delicious, unbearable pressure, that raw-cored feeling of being too full and still wanting more had you dizzy and aching and grinding down on him like your body was possessed by the shape of him.
“you’re all the way in,” you whispered, voice thin and stretched out over the edge of a sob, eyes half-lidded, lips swollen. “i feel you—i feel you so fucking deep, toji—”
his hands flexed hard around your waist, dragging your hips flush to his one last time, grinding your cunt against the root of his cock, the pressure unbearable, making you gasp and shudder in his lap.
“yeah, baby,” he said, voice pure filth now, that teasing rasp that lived somewhere between worship and cruelty. “you feel that? that’s my cock in your stomach. you’re so fuckin’ tight around me, it’s like your pussy was starving.”
you moaned again, incoherent, your fingers curling in his shirt like it was the only thing tethering you to gravity.
he rocked his hips.
once.
slow.
and your whole body convulsed.
“fuck—toji—”
“easy, sweetheart,” he muttered, mouth brushing your neck, tongue flicking the sweat from your skin. “gonna take care of you. just breathe. you’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
and then he did it again.
slower this time. dragging out of you just an inch, then pushing back in, letting you feel every fucking vein, the throb of him inside your walls like a second heartbeat, like a warning.
your moans were high and shaking now, rhythmic, falling apart on each pass of his hips as he built the rhythm slow—careful, almost tender, not out of mercy but because he wanted you to feel every inch, every second, every millimeter of him splitting you open like a promise.
“you like that?” he whispered, lips brushing your jaw, hands cradling your ass now, helping you roll with him, take it better. “like bein’ split slow? like knowin’ you can barely take it, but you’re takin’ it anyway, ‘cause you’re a good fuckin’ girl?”
you nodded so fast you almost lost your balance.
“i love it—fuck, i love it, i can’t—I didn’t know it could feel this good—”
and then his rhythm shifted.
the slow grind turned to a deeper snap, hips punching up into you with just a little more power, and you wailed, your voice bouncing off the cracked tile walls of the stall, your thighs trembling around him, your breath caught in your throat.
“that’s it,” toji growled. “that’s my girl.”
you barely had time to respond—barely had time to process—before he was grabbing you, shifting your weight suddenly, and your hands shot to his shoulders in a panic.
“toji—what—?”
he didn’t answer.
he moved you.
one hand sliding under your thigh, lifting it with the ease of someone used to manhandling, the other bracing your back as he pushed your knee up—higher, higher—until it was resting on his shoulder, bent awkwardly. and then the other leg followed, and before you could blink, both of your legs were slung over his shoulders, your hips tilted back, exposed, cunt stretched wide around him at a new angle, one that made your breath catch and your vision blur.
“fuckin’ hell,” he groaned, staring down at where your bodies met, his cock glistening, half-shiny with slick, with spit, your cunt so wet it sounded indecent.
“you’re flexible, baby,” he purred, eyes glittering with smug, filthy heat. “gonna keep you folded like this all night. good fuckin’ stretch, huh? how’s that feel?”
you cried out as he thrust—deep, sudden, rough, punching the air from your lungs and making your pussy clench so tight he growled.
“toji! oh my god—”
“nah,” he grunted, smirking now, sweat slick at his brow, “just toji, baby.”
and then he started to fuck you.
no more tenderness. no more slow burn.
just pace—hard and deep and ruthless, each stroke shoving you up the stall door, the slap of your slick against his thighs filthy and fast, the sound of his cock wrecking you echoing louder than your breathless little moans, louder than the club outside, louder than the entire goddamn city.
and through it all—through the rhythm, through the overstimulation, through the fucking stretch—
you held onto him like he was the end of the world.
and maybe he was.
you didn’t know where your body ended and his began anymore—your thighs thrown over his broad shoulders, calves hanging limp behind his back, cunt stretched impossibly wide around his cock, and your spine arched into the peeling tile wall like it was the only thing holding you together. everything below your waist was pulsing. drenched. trembling. you were stuffed so full your hips had gone numb and your nerves were lit up like flares, every thrust from toji dragging a sound from you that wasn’t even human anymore. choked sobs, half-screams, shattered moans—nothing made sense but the feeling of being split open and used like your pussy had a goddamn purpose.
and toji—toji was lost in it.
his grip was iron on your hips, pulling you down onto each thrust like he needed to be deeper, like it wasn’t enough to be inside you—he wanted to live there, drown there, die there. his head was dipped low now, dark hair slicked back from sweat, jaw clenched, lips parted like he was drunk off something heavy and pure. but it wasn’t the club. it wasn’t the drink. it was you. it was your pussy, clenching around him with every rough pump, spasming with every moan he dragged out of your throat, and it was making him lose it.
he thrust again—hard, brutal, the head of his cock punching your cervix—and you screamed, nails digging into his shoulders, tears slipping down your cheeks as your legs twitched around his neck.
“f-fuck, toji—”
“shhh, baby,” he muttered, slurring the word like his mouth was broken. “shhh, fuck—you hear that?”
you were crying, gasping, mouth open and useless.
“listen.”
he slammed into you again, and this time he slowed the drag back out, watching your cunt cling to him with a slick, obscene sound that made him moan, deep and raw. “jesus christ, listen to this fuckin’ pussy,” he breathed, almost in awe. “she doesn’t wanna let go. holdin’ on like she needs me.”
you couldn’t speak.
your mouth was open but all you could do was pant and sob and clench and take it.
“so fuckin’ wet,” he groaned, eyes locked to the place where you stretched around him, watching the mess he was making of you, the glossy ring of slick around the base of his cock, the sticky strings clinging to his thighs. “she’s so greedy, baby. you feel that? your cunt wants it. she’s suckin’ me in like she never got dick before.”
you whimpered, head falling back against the wall, voice high and thin and wrecked.
“i haven’t,” you said, and it wasn’t even a lie. not really. “not like this. not—fuck, not like you.”
toji’s face twitched.
something broke behind his eyes.
“yeah?” he rasped, voice dipping into something darker. “no one ever fucked you like this before? no one ever got you cryin’ and twitchin’ and beggin’ on their cock?”
you shook your head, tears streaking down your cheeks, spit slicking your chin. “no, toji, i swear—n-no one’s ever—fuck—”
he growled, hips snapping into you again, rough and greedy, the sound of your skin slapping echoing in the filthy stall, drowning out the throb of music beyond the door.
“fuckin’ right they haven’t,” he spat. “’cause they couldn’t handle you. you needed a real man to wreck this pussy. needed someone who could fill you up proper.”
you sobbed, legs shaking, whole body shuddering under the weight of his cock, the sheer intensity of being used like that, worshipped and ruined at once. “say it,” he snarled, burying himself to the hilt again, hips grinding against you like he was branding you from the inside out. “say whose pussy this is.”
“y-yours,” you gasped, voice cracking into a high, desperate wail. “yours, toji, it’s—fuck—yours, it’s always been—”
he moaned—head tipping back, eyes fluttering shut, cock twitching inside you—and then leaned forward until his face was buried in your neck, licking at your skin like a starving man, teeth scraping over your pulse.
“god damn, baby,” he breathed, hips stuttering, pace breaking down as his body gave in. “you’re squeezin’ me so tight, you’re gonna milk me—you want that? want me to come inside this tight little hole?”
“yes—yes, please—want it—”
“i know you do,” he hissed, voice pure lust, drunk and filthy. “know you want me to fill you up, breed you stupid, fuck this pussy till she knows who she belongs to.”
you were sobbing now, clawing at his shirt, drooling down your chin, mind unraveling with every thick thrust. he didn’t stop. couldn’t. hips pumping faster now, sharper, more erratic, and his mouth was on your chest, your throat, kissing tears off your face like they were his, like your pain made him harder.
“you’re perfect,” he panted, kissing your lips—sloppy, deep, desperate. “my perfect little fucktoy. so pretty, so tight, so good for me. pussy was made for this.” and in the haze of sweat and moans and overstimulation, you felt him twitch inside you, a growl rising from deep in his chest as his thrusts turned jerky, his whole body tensing—
and you knew he was about to come.
and you wanted to feel it. wanted to break with him.
you felt him get close—too close—his rhythm stuttering for just a moment, not quite breaking, not quite giving in, but it was there, coiled tight and twitching in the way his hips bucked just a little harder, how his grip on your hips turned brutal, fingers digging deep into your flesh like he was anchoring himself to something, like if he didn’t hold on, he’d fall apart.
but he didn’t let go.
he didn’t come.
you felt it in the way his whole body tensed, trembling like a held breath, jaw clenched tight against the curve of your throat, a low, ragged growl rumbling up from his chest as he stopped, buried deep, cock throbbing inside your overstretched pussy—but he held it back, kept it leashed like an animal snapping at the edge of a cage.
and it made you insane.
you whimpered—high, desperate, aching—trying to roll your hips, to chase it, to drag him over the edge with you because your walls were clenching around him like a vice, slick and messy and soaked, milking him like your body knew what it needed.
“toji—fuck—please, why’d you stop—?” you gasped, voice breaking, face twisted with the frustration of being right there on the edge with him and feeling him deny it.
he didn’t answer at first.
just breathed through his teeth, his nose pressed to your neck, his body stiff and trembling, cock twitching inside you like it was fighting him, like it was begging to give in. “’cause if i come right now,” he finally gritted, low and dark and wrecked, “i’m not gonna stop.”
your breath hitched.
he pulled back just enough to look at you—his eyes glassy, almost glazed, jaw tight, sweat beading down his temples. his mouth was open like he’d forgotten how to breathe right. he looked completely undone. ruined. like he’d been drinking your pussy down like liquor and now he couldn’t see straight.
“i’ll break you if i let go now, baby,” he whispered, voice hoarse, shaking. “i’ll fuckin’ ruin this little cunt. you feel how close i am? feel it? i’ve never had pussy like this—never—fuck, i can’t even think.”
you moaned, clenching around him again just to feel that twitch, to feel his restraint crack another inch.
“then do it,” you whispered, licking the sweat from his jaw. “ruin it. fuckin’ break me, toji, i want it—i can take it—”
his expression twisted, something feral rising behind his eyes like a wave.
“you sayin’ that now, sweetheart,” he growled, grinding slow and deep just once, making you cry out, “but you’re already twitchin’. already drippin’ down my fuckin’ balls. this tight little pussy can barely handle one load—what’re you gonna do when i keep goin’?”
“i’ll take it,” you gasped, legs tightening around his shoulders, back arching into him like an offering. “you can come when you want—just don’t stop. please. don’t fucking stop—”
he grinned then—barely, teeth bared like something dangerous—but the pride in his eyes was molten.
“fuckin’ perfect, baby,” he whispered. “you’re my perfect little toy, aren’t you? lettin’ me stretch you like this, fold you up like it’s normal—look at these legs, fuck, look at you—you were made for this.”
and then—
he moved again.
slow at first, just the roll of his hips pulling back a few inches and pushing in deep, grinding that thick cock against the spots inside you that made you cry out and grab his shoulders like a lifeline. his eyes stayed on your face, his jaw tight, his mouth parted, and the way he watched you—hungry, worshipful, starved—it made you feel more naked than his cock ever could.
“this pussy’s got me fuckin’ high,” he said, voice rough. “you hear me? fuckin’ drunk on you. i’ve never felt anything like this—like your body’s pullin’ me in, squeezin’ like she knows me.”
you moaned—pitiful and overwhelmed—as his rhythm picked up again, deeper now, harder, dragging slick, filthy sounds out of you both as your bodies collided.
“i could fuck you for hours,” he growled, one hand sliding down to your thigh, gripping tight as he adjusted your position, pulled your hips forward even more, tilting your pelvis just to angle his cock deeper. “i will. i’ll keep you like this all fuckin’ night, split open and twitchin’, until you’re beggin’ me to come just so i’ll stop.”
you tried to speak but nothing came—just another cry, another desperate whimper as your walls fluttered again, soaked and swollen and full of him.
“hold me tighter,” he said suddenly, grabbing behind your knees and pushing your legs up higher, folding you more, pressing your knees toward your chest as he braced his weight over you. “there we go. good girl. stretch just like that—fuckin’ hell, look how deep i am.”
you felt it.
felt the new angle bury him right against something devastating, something that made your entire vision white out for a second, a sob punched out of your lungs.
“toji—fuck—fuck—”
“that’s it,” he groaned, eyes blown wide, pupils shaking. “fuckin’ take it.”
and even then—
even then—
he still didn’t come.
your body was giving out—limbs numb, hands clumsy and damp where they gripped at his sweat-slick shoulders, your nails dragging useless lines down his skin every time his cock punched that devastating spot deep inside you. your thighs burned from the stretch, knees pressed nearly to your chest, ankles hooked around his broad, brutal shoulders as he fucked you like he had something to prove, something to claim, something to bury inside you so deep you'd taste it for days.
and you were taking it. every inch. every slam. every slick, loud, brutal thrust like it was your religion.
your whole body was slick—sweat and spit and tears and the sheer, filthy mess between your thighs, soaking down your ass and his jeans and the stall floor, an unholy tangle of skin and sound and sensation, and through it all, toji kept praising you, whispering filth in your ear, kissing the tears off your cheeks while he broke you in half on his cock.
but something was shifting in him now—his pace stuttered, his thrusts grew frantic, heavier, less rhythm, more desperation, his moans falling lower in his throat, broken and guttural, each one punched out of him like his body couldn’t keep it in anymore.
his head dropped, and your foreheads met—pressed together, sweat mixing, breath shared in the half-inch of air between your open mouths. his eyes were blown wide, glassy with it, lips twitching like he was trying to speak but couldn’t get past the wrecked sound of his own need.
“baby,” he rasped, voice almost too low to hear over the wet slap of his hips against yours. “baby, i’m gonna fuckin’ come.” you whined, mouth open, panting against his lips, your legs trembling where they strained around his shoulders, the muscles twitching every time he sank all the way in.
“toji—fuck—yes, please—”
his mouth was on yours for a second—messy, open, tongues tangling with no direction—before he pulled back just enough to speak, his forehead still pressed to yours. “you on anything?” he asked, breath ragged, voice wild. “you on the pill, baby—tell me now—”
you nodded, fast and desperate, choking on your own moan as his hips slammed forward again, grinding deep.
“y-yeah—fuck—yes—i’m on it, i’m on it—”
his whole body shuddered.
“fuck,” he breathed. “fuck, baby—can i come inside you? gonna come so deep—fuckin’ fill you up—wanna feel it dripping outta you when i pull out, yeah? you gonna let me do that?”
you whimpered, incoherent, grinding against him now, desperate for it, for all of it, for everything.
he groaned, long and low and destroyed, his whole body tensing like he was fighting it, losing, fighting again—and then giving in completely. “fuck,” he hissed. “you’re so good, baby—so fuckin’ perfect—pussy’s fuckin’ milking me—gonna come—fuck—gonna come inside this pretty fuckin’ cunt—”
and with one final, brutal thrust—
he bottomed out, hips slammed flush to yours, cock buried to the hilt, twitching deep in your heat, and then he broke, coming with a moan so raw and wounded it sounded like worship.
you felt it.
hot and thick and endless, pulse after pulse flooding your cunt, your walls fluttering around him as your body accepted it, welcomed it, every drop, your mouth open in a silent scream, your eyes rolling back as the sheer intensity of it sent you into another trembling orgasm, clenching around him so tight he groaned, pressing his forehead harder to yours.
“fuck—fuck, take it—take it all, baby—look at you—so good—mine,” he growled, voice cracking, “this pussy’s mine now—”
and you believed him.
because you were still shaking. and he was still inside you. and you could feel his come dripping out already. and neither of you could breathe.
but you didn’t want to.
not if it meant letting him go.
he didn’t move—not at first.
toji stayed buried inside you, thick and twitching, still plugged so deep it felt like your cunt was wrapped around the center of him, not just his cock. his head rested against yours, sweat-slick and trembling, breath pouring from his mouth in heavy, broken bursts. the stall felt like it was spinning. the whole world had narrowed to the sound of your breath in sync with his, your pussy fluttering around his softening cock, the hot drip of his come already leaking from where your bodies were still connected.
but your body didn’t stop.
your body wouldn’t stop.
your cunt was clenching, aching, needing, so overstimulated it had gone full circle back into something dangerous—something desperate—your nerves sparking like shorted-out wires, slick leaking down your thighs, the insistent throb of a second orgasm so close it felt like drowning under the weight of not-quite-enough.
you whimpered—your voice soft and high and shaking—and your hips gave a helpless little grind, a roll forward, just enough to make his cock shift inside you.
that made you see stars.
“f-fuck, toji—” your voice cracked, head falling back, mouth open, thighs trembling. “i need—i didn’t—i didn’t come yet—”
that broke through his haze.
his head lifted, barely. just enough to look at you, eyes still dark and dazed but sharpening like a wolf catching the scent of blood. his jaw tightened. his mouth twisted into something that should have been a smirk but was too soft to be cocky. he brought one hand up—palm cupping your face like he needed to hold you there—and pressed his lips to your temple.
“oh, baby,” he rasped, voice torn raw from groaning your name. “you didn’t?” you shook your head, breath hitching, whining as your hips tried again, another roll, another desperate friction, his cock dragging slow inside you and making your whole body spasm.
“’s okay,” you whispered, blinking tears from your lashes. “i just—need a little more—i’m so close, toji, please—”
“shhhh, fuck,” he breathed, kissing your cheek now, your jaw, moving down to your neck, lips hot and open and reverent, “you’ve been so good for me—so perfect—’m gonna get you there, baby, don’t worry—gonna take care of you.”
his hand slid between your bodies, still slick with sweat and the mess between you, until his thumb found your clit—wet and swollen, throbbing with every faint shift of his cock inside you—and he rubbed it, slow and tight, small circles, just enough pressure to make your entire body lock up.
“oh—fuck—” you cried out, hands clawing at his shoulders, clinging to him like he was the only thing anchoring you to your body. “fuck, toji, right there—right there—”
“that’s it,” he murmured, eyes locked on your face, watching you unravel with a look of pure awe. “feel that? how sensitive you are? this pretty little cunt’s so needy, so greedy, just fuckin’ suckin’ me in, beggin’ for it. you’re gonna come for me, yeah? gonna let go?”
“yes, yes—please, don’t stop—don’t stop—”
he shifted his hips again, slow, so slow, pulling back just enough to let you feel the drag of him along your walls, then pushing back in deep, thumb never leaving your clit, just the perfect amount of pressure, the perfect rhythm, your whole body wound so tight you thought your spine might snap.
“fuckin’ look at you,” he whispered, completely mesmerized. “look how beautiful you are when you’re right at the edge. tears in your eyes, pussy wrapped around me so fuckin’ tight—you were made for this, baby. made for me. you wanna come on this cock, don’t you?”
“yes—yes, toji, please, i need—”
“you wanna soak me?” he growled, hips twitching forward, thumb circling harder, your clit so sensitive now you could barely think. “wanna milk my fuckin’ cock while i’m still inside you, stuffed full’a my come? wanna squeeze every last drop out?”
“please—”
and then it hit.
your orgasm ripped through you like your whole body cracked open from the inside, a molten flood of pleasure spilling out, your legs jerking where they hung over his shoulders, your back arching so violently your vision blacked out for a second, mouth open in a silent scream. your pussy clenched hard, gripping his cock in spasms, walls fluttering around him like they were trying to hold him in forever, to wring every drop from him until your bodies fused together.
toji moaned, loud and fucked and wrecked, like your orgasm broke him—his thumb slowing just enough to let you ride the aftershocks, hips grinding forward to keep himself deep while your body milked him through it.
“that’s it,” he groaned, forehead against yours again, voice thick with pride and filth and something heavier. “fuck, you’re perfect. felt you come, baby—fuckin’ felt it—squeezin’ me so tight like your body knows who it belongs to.”
you were crying again—happy tears this time, oversensitive and overstimulated and shaking, unable to speak, unable to do anything but hold onto him while your body spasmed around him, dripping, soaked, ruined.
“you did so good,” he whispered, kissing your lips now, slow and soft, sweet and filthy. “so fuckin’ good for me. made me feel like a goddamn god.”
you laughed, weak and trembling, smiling against his mouth.
and he was still hard. still inside. still not done.
and neither were you.
your legs were still draped over his shoulders, limp now, twitching occasionally, every muscle in your body melted and buzzing with aftershock, like you’d been electrocuted and reborn inside the same wet, filthy breath. your arms were around his neck, weak and slow and unsure whether they were clinging or collapsing, and your forehead was pressed to his again—both of you panting, sweat-slick, your noses brushing with every unsteady inhale.
your eyes were shut.
your mouth was open.
and everything felt too full—too much—and yet, not nearly enough.
his cock was still inside you, thick and insistent, twitching softly, lazily, nestled as deep as it could go like it had roots, like it had decided to live there, and the slow, endless drip of his cum was already leaking out around him, sliding in warm, lazy trails down the crack of your ass, onto the fucked-sticky seat beneath you, pooling into a ruin only the two of you would remember.
and toji—toji was gone.
his hands were on your hips, not moving, just holding, and his eyes were half-lidded, glassy, dazed, wrecked. mouth slack. chest heaving. his tongue wet his bottom lip once, slow and aimless, like he didn’t even realize he was doing it, and he just stared at you like he’d been hit by a truck and liked the way it felt. no smugness now. no smirk. no edge.
he looked like a man who had just gotten possessed by pussy.
and he was struggling to recover.
“…fuck,” he finally whispered, so hoarse it was almost soundless.
you didn’t move. couldn’t.
your lashes fluttered a little but didn’t open, your mouth hanging open like you were still moaning in your head, like your brain hadn’t caught up to the fact that the orgasm was over.
but his voice pulled something from you.
“you alive?” you whispered, barely, lips brushing his.
he laughed—barely—just a quiet, hot breath through his nose.
“barely.”
you smiled, slow and heavy, head tilting to lean into the side of his face, nuzzling your nose against the damp edge of his jaw. his stubble scraped lightly across your skin, grounding you in the afterglow haze, and it made you whimper—small, involuntary—because you were still too sensitive, and his cock was still so fucking deep, and it felt like it was just there now. permanent.
“toji,” you whispered, and you felt his fingers flex on your hips at the sound of his name.
“mm?”
you finally opened your eyes, half-lidded and glossy, barely able to focus, and looked at him—really looked—and your cunt clenched again because his face was wrecked.
his hair was soaked and sticking to his forehead. sweat dripping down his temples. mouth swollen. pupils blown. cheeks flushed. and the look in his eyes—dazed, unfocused, stunned—wasn’t cocky or in control or smug like before.
he looked fucked. like he’d just gotten his soul pulled out through his dick.
you grinned.
“you okay, old man?” you whispered.
toji let out a low groan and dropped his head to your shoulder, body shaking faintly with exhausted laughter. “fuck off,” he muttered, voice thick and raspy. “you don’t get to clown me right now. not when your pussy’s got me seein’ colors.”
“you look like you just saw god,” you said, teasing, brushing your fingers through the damp hair at his nape.
he grunted against your neck. “that was god.”
he pulled back just slightly, eyes fluttering open again, still dazed but soft now, heavy-lidded and so fucking gone on the feeling of you wrapped around him.
“you don’t even get it, do you?” he muttered, eyes locked on your face like he couldn’t stop looking. “pussy this good should be illegal. should come with a fuckin’ warning label. i’m not even sure i’ll pull out if you ask me to.”
you giggled, warm and slow, breath fogging up his skin.
“good thing i’m on the pill.”
“’cause i’d knock you up just to keep this forever,” he said, and it was so low, so dead serious that it made your breath catch.
you blinked, lips parting, not quite able to speak, and he smirked again—but it was soft. less predator, more man being humbled by what he just lived through.
“look at you,” he murmured. “legs still up. pussy still suckin’ me in like she misses me even though i never left. you were made for this cock, weren’t you?”
you nodded, slow and lazy, lips brushing his again.
“mmhmm,” you hummed, smiling. “knew it the second i saw you.”
toji groaned again, a fucked-out, helpless sound, and leaned into your forehead again.
“i’m not done,” he whispered, almost like a confession.
“good,” you whispered back, pulling him down by the shirt. “don’t stop.”
and neither of you moved yet.
just stayed there.
cock still buried.
hearts hammering.
pussy still clenching.
breath shared.
and toji—still absolutely, totally, unapologetically pussy drunk.
he was the one who moved first—finally—because your legs were still draped over his shoulders, bent and trembling and sore, your knees threatening mutiny with every second they stayed folded in that brutal, gorgeous stretch. you weren’t sure if the muscles were cramping or still orgasming. both, maybe. but toji moved slow, reverent almost, hands sliding down your thighs like he wasn’t ready to let them go, like he wanted to memorize them before he let them fall.
“’m puttin’ your legs down,” he murmured, voice thick and gravel-dragged from groaning, still drunk with it, still halfway buried in that distant fucked-out haze that lived behind his eyes now. “you did so good for me. fuckin’ took it like a champ.”
you whimpered when your legs were finally lowered, a dull ache blooming in your hips, your thighs still twitching, your calves sticky and limp against his sides. you were panting again. dizzy. your cunt throbbed around him when the angle changed, his cock shifting just slightly inside you and hitting something new, some bruised-up spot that sent a fresh wave of aftershock through your spine.
toji groaned softly, and his hand immediately came to your waist, like his body was instinctively trying to soothe you. “easy, baby,” he whispered, palm sliding up and down your side. “fuck—I’ll make it up to you. swear it.”
you blinked, dazed. “…make what up?”
he snorted, pulling back just enough to brush his forehead against yours again, still so close you could feel every word against your mouth.
“comin’ first,” he said. “you deserved another round before I fucking lost it. that pussy’s too good—I got greedy. ‘m not usually like that.” you smiled, breathless, your fingers brushing the sweat-soaked collar of his shirt. “what are you gonna do, hmm? kiss it better?”
toji’s mouth curled at the edge, that cocky little smirk returning but softened now—sweetened, in the worst, most unfair way. “yeah,” he said. “kiss it. lick it. spread you open and make you come with my fuckin’ tongue till you forget what year it is.”
you made a choked little sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob, your brain too fogged up to handle that promise.
but he kept talking—of course he did. because he was still in it, still gone, still wrecked and clinging to the only thing in the world that made sense to him now: you. “nine years,” he murmured, voice lower now, less teasing. Real. “nine years with no pussy. not even a drunk one-night stand. not even fuckin’ myself half the time.”
you blinked, still catching your breath.
“jesus,” you whispered.
he nodded once, breathing hard. “but the first one I get… after all that time… is you.” he paused. looked at you. really looked. “and if I could do it all over again—go nine years with nothin’—just to feel this pussy for the first time again?”
he kissed you.
not deep. not greedy.
just a soft press of spit-slick, swollen lips to your mouth.
“i’d fucking do it.”
you stared at him, wide-eyed.
and then snorted.
because your brain couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or feral.
“you are so pussy drunk right now,” you said, laughing into his mouth. “like… you’ve got the symptoms. glazed-over stare, can’t finish a sentence without saying ‘this pussy’ like it’s a holy relic—”
“shut up,” he grinned, nose brushing yours.
“you’re gonna start writing poetry,” you said. “i can see it. ‘ode to my girl’s pussy, it cured my chronic pain and made me believe in god again—’”
he growled low in his throat, a filthy little sound that vibrated through your chest as he shifted inside you, cock still thick and hard and present, buried to the base and making you feel every twitch of his frustration.
“keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna fuckin’ prove it,” he said. “gonna eat you out till you apologize to your pussy for disrespecting her in front of me.” you gasped, breath catching, clenching around him in instinctive anticipation.
he felt it. and smirked.
“there she is,” he murmured, rolling his hips slowly, pressing his forehead to yours again, eyes fluttering shut like he was worshipping the moment. “sweet, tight little thing. even after I filled her up, she’s still clingin’ to me like she wants more.”
you moaned, body arching weakly, still so oversensitive, and yet—
“maybe she does.”
toji’s eyes opened again, and they were darker now, brighter, something burning deep inside them that hadn’t gone out yet.
“you better not be teasing me,” he said softly.
you bit your lip. hard.
and whispered, “then make me sorry.”
and he smiled. slow. wide. unhinged.
“you’re about to be.”
the air inside the stall was dense, humid, too heavy with sex and sweat and that lazy, humming afterglow that only came when both your bodies had been used—worshipped and wrecked in equal measure. your pulse was still erratic, your breath catching on every inhale like your lungs hadn’t figured out how to restart. toji hadn’t moved much since the last thrust, still deep inside you, cock thick and heavy and leaking, his weight pressing you gently into the wall like he didn’t want to let you go just yet. the scent of him was everywhere—on your neck, in your mouth, between your legs—and you could still taste the sound of his voice in your ears, rasping mine like it was something he meant to tattoo into your bones.
eventually, though, he shifted—reluctantly—lifting his forehead from yours, eyes flicking down your body with a reverence that was almost comical given the mess between your legs. he sighed, deep and low, like a man about to walk away from his favorite crime scene.
“alright,” he muttered, finally easing his hands to your hips and taking a single step back, gently slipping out of you with a lewd, wet sound that made both of you twitch. “moment of truth. you still got legs?”
you blinked at him, dazed, and then wobbled as your feet touched the floor, knees buckling under you like a baby deer just born into a post-orgasm world.
you stumbled directly into his chest with a soft little squeak, your palms catching the damp heat of his skin through his shirt, breathless and already flushed again. toji laughed—really laughed this time, head tipping back, teeth showing, full and rich and dangerous in the way only a man freshly pussy-drunk could be.
“fuckin’ hell,” he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you upright, “you nearly took us both out, sweetheart.” you buried your face in his shirt for a second, too embarrassed and too exhausted to do anything but exist. “it’s your fault,” you muttered into the fabric. “you fucked the sense outta me.”
he kissed the side of your head, then leaned you back just slightly and pressed your back to the grimy stall door, holding you there with a hand on your waist while he reached for himself, guiding his cock back into his boxers with a practiced roll of his wrist and a satisfied grunt.
“can’t lie,” he said while zipping up, “she didn’t wanna let me go. took a fuckin’ minute just to get out.”
you gave him a look, somewhere between exhausted and scolding, but the twitch in your lip betrayed the way your thighs clenched again at his voice. he just smirked and hooked his belt back into place, slow and casual like he hadn’t just been balls-deep in you a minute ago.
then he crouched down to grab your shirt from the floor—rumpled, half-dried with sweat, glitter, and maybe a little bit of toji’s spit—and shook it out once before straightening up again, holding it like a gentleman with a gift.
“c’mon, arms up,” he murmured, voice suddenly softer again.
you obeyed without thinking, letting him help you dress like your brain had short-circuited, like you’d handed him the keys to your limbs and were trusting him not to drive you off a cliff. he slid the shirt over your head with practiced ease, tugged it gently down your arms, and just when you thought he was done—when his hands slid past your ribs and down your sides like he was adjusting it—
he bent down and sucked your nipple into his mouth.
you gasped, stumbling back against the door, breath catching in your throat as the sudden wet heat of his tongue flicked over the piercing again, lips wrapping around the cool metal and tugging just slightly.
“toji—”
he groaned low in his chest, then released it with a wet pop, lips brushing over the sensitive skin of your breast before finally tugging your shirt down into place with both hands.
“couldn’t help it,” he said, eyes wicked but half-lidded, dragging over you like a man who already wanted to go back in. “they’re too pretty not to taste again.” you didn’t respond—couldn’t. your brain had short-circuited again, reduced to white noise and heartbeat.
he fixed your hair next. carefully, absurdly gently, fingers brushing back stray strands from your face, pushing it behind your ears like he hadn’t just had you folded in half thirty seconds ago. then he loomed over you, big and warm and grinning like the devil who knew you’d come if he asked again.
“you wanna come back to my place?” he asked, voice low and smooth now. “give your legs a real break. i’ll apologize to your pussy proper for comin’ first. i got a mouth and a lot of guilt.” you let out a weak laugh—giddy and limp and already leaning forward like you might melt if he kissed you again.
“what, you’re feeling guilty now?”
“i’m tryin’ to be a gentleman,” he said, mock-serious. “not every day i meet someone who makes me forget my name and the year.” you raised an eyebrow. “that’s the bar?” he leaned in close again, mouth hovering just beside your ear, breath warm and so fucking good. “no, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice like a knife made of velvet. “you’re the bar now.”
you shivered.
he pulled back just enough to smile again, then glanced toward the door.
“you wanna text your friends? let ‘em know you’re leavin’ with a total stranger?”
“they’ve got my bag,” you said, still dazed, still trying to remember what reality felt like. “they’ll figure it out.”
he stared at you for a second.
then grinned.
“god damn,” he muttered. “you’re perfect.”
and then—toji fushiguro, pussy-drunk, sweat-drenched, still twitching in his jeans with the memory of your cunt—opened the stall door, it creaked open like it, too, had been through something shameful and held it for you, like a man escorting a queen out of her ruined cathedral. the hallway air hit you—cooler, thinner, laced with basslines and spilled drinks and someone screaming off-key to early 2000s pop—and you stepped into it like a newborn deer in heels, thighs slick, hair a little fucked, your shirt tugged low over your hips to hide the fact that your panties were somewhere between ruined and irrelevant.
toji stood beside you, towering and casual, like he hadn’t just rearranged your insides and kissed your nipple before helping you get dressed. his belt was buckled, his shirt clinging damply to his chest, collar pulled slightly off-center from your earlier tugging. his neck was flushed, jaw stubbled, and there were still fresh bite marks trailing along the line of his throat—yours. ownership drawn in tooth and heat.
your heart jumped sideways in your chest. your knees tried to wobble again.
and he felt it.
“there she goes,” he teased, his mouth brushing your temple now, his voice still dipped in that slow-dripping, pussy-drunk molasses tone that made your stomach twist in the most incredible way. “thought I fucked the wobble outta your legs already. guess I gotta go harder next time.”
“if you go harder, I’ll die,” you replied, still grinning, voice raw but teasing, biting down the ridiculous urge to giggle like a schoolgirl on prom night.
toji pulled you closer. you barely reached the height of his shoulder like this, his arm heavy and protective and possessive across your back, his hand idly tracing lazy circles on your side as you walked with him—slow, casual, like he wasn’t still inside you in spirit.
“what a way to go,” he murmured. “split open, stuffed full’a cum, legs over my shoulders while you cry on my cock. shit, if there’s a better death I don’t know it.”
you snorted. “you’re awful.”
“and you’re gorgeous,” he shot back, leaning down to kiss just behind your ear, sending another aftershock rolling through your already wrecked nerves. “tightest pussy I ever felt, baby. no contest. softest moans, sweetest little body—like you were built to break.”
your cheeks burned. your cunt clenched. again.
“you’re obsessed,” you whispered, playful and shaky, tipping your head back to look up at him. “pussy-drunk old man.”
he grinned at that—wide and unrepentant, all teeth and mischief and post-fuck swagger. “damn right. I’ve been starving for nine fuckin’ years and someone just fed me filet mignon soaked in honey. you think I’m gonna be normal after this?”
you laughed, biting your lip, feeling the slow drag of slick between your thighs every time you moved.
he was still talking.
still praising you.
like your pussy had rewired his brain.
“you don’t get it,” he murmured, pressing his mouth to your temple again. “you ruined me. no way I’m goin’ back to jerkin’ off like some lonely divorced fuck with ESPN in the background. I’m gonna be thinkin’ about you next time I close my eyes. about the way you opened up for me. about how you looked when you cried on my cock.”
you whimpered.
out loud.
right there in the hallway.
and toji just chuckled, kissed the corner of your mouth, then pulled you tighter under his arm like he wanted to wear you. “c’mon,” he whispered against your cheek, “let’s get the fuck outta here before I get hard again and we wind up in the janitor’s closet.”
you glanced sideways at him, lips curled up in that smug, fucked-out smirk you couldn’t seem to wipe off your face, and said softly, under your breath—
“may your soul rest in peace.”
he didn’t miss a beat.
“amen,” he muttered with a low snort, before slipping his thick, warm arm around your back, hand resting just above the curve of your ass like he belonged there, like he wanted everyone in this hallway to know that he’d just had you up against a stall door with your legs on his shoulders, crying out his name.
then, like the audacious bastard he was, he leaned in and kissed your cheek. not quick. not pecked. pressed—lingering, hot, lips slightly open, the kind of kiss that said this isn’t over, that said you’re mine now, that said you’re not getting out of my bed without a limp and at least two orgasms on your record.
☆ sum. ever since his wife divorce him for another man, toji never was with anyone, even in having intimacy, he never had any desire to kiss, touch, even fuck anyone, until he have you on his lap, riding him in one of the stall in the club.
warning. non-sorcerer reader, toji is a mess, p sooo good he almost cries, pu$$y-drunk toji, reader having a tats piercing. rough sex, public sex (bathroom stall), unprotected vaginal sex, size kink, praise kink, dirty talk, power imbalance (older man / younger woman), age gap relationship, orgasm denial / delayed climax, handjob, cumplay (internal ejaculation, cum leaking), pu$$y worship, overstimulation, leg folding position, possessive behavior, pussy drunk characterization, public exposure risk, aftercare / caretaking, mild consensual degradation oral fixation (nipple sucking, biting), references to breeding kink (implied), swearing / explicit language.
the club was called gristle, which already told you everything you needed to know: concrete walls painted matte black and lacquered in the sweat of too many strangers, music that sounded like a blender chewing up chrome, a bar lit up like a failed attempt at divine intervention. sticky floors. bodies everywhere. it was the kind of place that made your soul itch in your ribs and your bones hum. it was hell with a cover charge and you were thriving.
you were two tequila sodas deep, blinking rhinestones stuck to your collarbones like sweat-kissed stars, and dancing like your future career depended on it. maybe it did. shoko was three drinks ahead and exactly zero inhibitions behind. she was the kind of girl who never danced to the beat of the song—just the beat of spite. the kind of sway that said fuck you, yes you, i’m smarter than you, and i’ll outdrink you too. her cigarette was tucked behind one ear. a forgotten white flag.
“gojo’s in the dj booth trying to suck off the strobe light again,” she slurred into your shoulder.
you turned just in time to see gojo doing a very illegal-looking worm across the raised platform, flanked by a gaggle of girls who looked like they were filming a live breakdown for instagram. geto was sitting on the edge of the booth, draped in his coat like a tired mob wife, nodding along to whatever existential crisis the beat was currently having.
you laughed until your mascara creased. and then.
then.
a split-second crack in the atmosphere. a slither in your peripheral. someone watching you—not in the usual way, not the club way, the predatory frat-boy way—but something heavier. older. slower. the weight of it hit you somewhere between your stomach and your spine.
you turned.
and there he was.
he looked out of place in the same way a butcher knife looks out of place in a school lunchroom. not wrong, not technically, just... deeply inappropriate. green jacket, black tank, that wide-built way of holding himself like he didn’t trust the world not to jump him at a red light. a thick scar ran down the corner of his mouth like a cruel afterthought. he had a drink in one hand, pinky ring glinting under the lazy spin of a broken disco ball, and he was sucking a tooth with a mouth made for war crimes.
next to him sat another guy—sleek, fox-faced, gold chain and a tattoo that slithered up his neck like a wine stain—but he wasn’t looking at you.
toji fushiguro was.
not like he was checking you out. not like he was undressing you with his eyes. not like a man drunk on his own age gap perversions. he was looking at you like he recognized you. like you’d been a thorn in his side in another life. like you were the sound of the trigger just before it broke.
he didn’t smile.
he didn’t look away.
and you—because you were drunk and stupid and it was the last week of finals and your body was humming from the low voltage burn of too much bass and not enough shame—you didn’t look away either.
you reached up, swiped a smear of glitter from the hollow of your throat, and licked it off your finger.
toji’s jaw flexed.
“you seeing that?” shoko asked beside you, voice dry and amused like she was watching a nature documentary and you were the gazelle about to get railed.
you didn’t answer.
because his eyes—god, his fucking eyes—they were the kind that said i haven’t had sex in years, and i will wreck you like it's penance. he looked like he hadn’t touched anyone since the divorce. like he hated that he still wanted to. like the wanting itself was its own dirty little sin.
he leaned back in the booth, legs spread obscenely wide, the kind of man who made space by taking it. his hand moved, slow, up to his mouth, dragging a thumb along his lower lip.
you felt it like a bruise blooming.
shoko snorted. “bitch, he’s gonna eat you alive.”
“maybe i wanna be eaten.”
she shoved her drink into your hand. “then go get digested.”
you turned back to him.
he was still watching. still calm. like he had all the time in the world to decide whether or not to ruin yours.
and you?
you smiled.
because sometimes, finals week ends with a degree. and sometimes it ends with a man who hasn’t touched a single soul since his wife left him looking at you like you were the last bad decision he’d ever make. but, you don’t know that yet.
the bass dropped again.
so did your common sense.
toji didn’t blink.
not when the lights strobed red-blue-red like a police raid inside your chest. not when someone spilled a drink too close to his boots. not when the fox-faced man beside him leaned in and said something—low and fast and close to his ear.
toji just nodded. lazy. like the nod was a formality. like whatever was said didn’t need his actual attention. his eyes never left you. not even for a second. he exhaled through his nose. slow. and then, with a flick of his wrist, the friend stood and left, disappearing into the crush of the crowd like he’d never been real. no goodbye, no handshake, no dap, no nothing. the seat was empty. the booth swallowed the vacancy like it was always meant for someone else.
the song changed. again. it had probably changed five times. you didn’t know. didn’t care. toji leaned back just a little further. the way a lion does when it’s already decided to pounce but wants to stretch first. his ring tapped the glass once. then he licked his bottom lip.
and that—
that was your fucking cue.
“he’s alone now,” you said to shoko, eyes still locked on his like they were glued to the roof of your own dumb horny brain. “and i just made a terrible decision in my mind that i would like to make worse in person.”
shoko didn’t even look. she just grabbed your cup and said flatly, “you go, sluts.”
“thanks, sluts.”
“godspeed, sluts.”
toji watched your approach like you were a slow car crash. like he didn’t want to stop it.
and then you were gone, cutting through the crowd like a little dumb thirsty dagger, the kind that didn’t kill, just ruined. your path to him wasn’t straight. it wobbled.
hips out of time with your legs, heartbeat too loud in your ears, glitter smudged down one cheek like a finger had already been there. every single person in the club was suddenly nothing but smoke and background static. the music, a dull throb behind the real percussion of your blood.
and when you stopped at the edge of his booth, one hand on the lip of the velvet seat, mouth parted just enough to be accused of thinking nasty things—
he tilted his head.
he looked down, slow, dragging his gaze over your body like a confession, then back up again.
he still hadn’t smiled.
he didn’t need to.
you were already fucked.
the booth was one of those deep, curved ones, made for mafia deals or the kind of drunk makeouts that ended in pregnancy scares and spiritual awakenings. the leather was the kind of cracked that whispered rumors about what had gone down here over the years—piss, blood, cum, cheap perfume, shame, maybe in that order. red vinyl, sticky in a way that suggested the cleaning crew gave up back in 2019. it curved around the edge of the room like the mouth of something hungry, all teeth and shadow and bad ideas.
toji sat dead center. like a throne. like he knew you’d come.
you hovered at the edge a second too long—long enough to register the way his thighs spread under the table, long enough to see the glass in his hand was more ice than liquor, long enough to feel the bass tremble up your calves and settle right behind your teeth. he didn’t say anything. didn’t lean forward. didn’t offer you a seat. didn’t look away.
so you climbed in.
slow. dramatic. like you’d rehearsed it. thigh first, then the swing of your leg over the lip of the booth, one hand braced on the table, the other catching the hem of your skirt as it threatened to ride too high. you slid in beside him, but not next to him. no. you gave him space. gave yourself room to breathe. gave the night a chance to hesitate. you slid in just far enough that your knee could maybe touch his if you angled wrong, just far enough that your perfume would reach him, but your intentions would still look innocent if someone were watching.
he looked at you then.
not a turn of the head. not a shift of his shoulders. just the eyes—those fucking eyes—cutting sideways like a blade, like a car mirror catching you just before it hits. they dropped again. took in your legs. your stomach. your mouth.
slowly.
like he had time. like he wasn’t planning anything. like he absolutely was. he took a sip from his glass. ice clicked against his teeth. “you here with your little boyfriend?” he asked, voice rough, deep, the kind of voice that sounded like it had gravel for breakfast and a grudge for dessert.
you blinked.
“what?”
toji tilted his chin toward the dance floor. “glitter rat in the booth. blonde. yelling at the DJ.” you glanced back. gojo was on his fourth attempt at beatboxing into a mic that wasn’t even plugged in. “jesus christ,” you muttered, then looked back at toji. “no. he’s just allergic to dignity.”
toji hummed. then his thumb brushed the condensation off the side of his glass, slow, deliberate. you watched the motion, unblinking. he tapped the glass against the table. “what about the girl? the one with the dead fish stare and a vendetta against buttons.” you grinned. “shoko? also not fucking her. though she’d be the one doing the fucking.”
“mm,” he said, not quite smiling, not quite breathing.
your knee brushed his. just barely. enough to count.
“you’re really checking out my whole friend group before you even ask my name?”
toji’s gaze flicked to you, then back to his glass. “don’t need your name,” he said. “i just wanted to make sure no one was gonna cry when i take you into the bathroom.” the air went out of you like someone had lit a match in your lungs. not subtle. not flirty. not pretending.
you swallowed. slowly.
“bold of you to assume i cry after.”
toji smirked then. not wide. not pretty. crooked. mean. like it hurt to do it. like he hadn’t done it in a while and wasn’t sure it was still worth the trouble. but it was a smile. for you. and something about it made your stomach twist like your bones were folding inward.
he reached across the table and stole your drink—no asking, no gesture, just took it from your hand like it already belonged to him—and sipped it. eyes never leaving yours.
“tequila,” he muttered. “figures.”
“and what the fuck does that mean?”
he shrugged. “means you want to do something stupid. something you can’t admit you want. something you’re gonna lie about to your friends in the morning.”
you stared at him.
and hated how right he was.
you leaned in, breath catching just slightly. “okay. and what do you want?” toji leaned back again, arm stretched across the back of the booth. his fingers—long, veined, scarred, absolutely filthy—rested behind your shoulder, not touching, just close enough to feel the heat.
he gave a lazy, brutal smile.
“i want to remember what it feels like to ruin someone.”
instead, you leaned in closer.
your throat went dry. your pulse tried to climb out of your neck.
you swallowed hard. you should’ve left. should’ve said something clever. should’ve laughed and slipped away and found someone safer to flirt with. someone your age. someone with a nice apartment and a philosophy minor.
and whispered, “bathroom’s to the left.”
he didn’t move. not yet. just gave you another look. slow. bottom to top. the kind of look that peeled layers. stripped the glitter off your skin. that set a small, sharp flame behind your belly button and said, “we’re not gonna be gentle. we’re not gonna be kind.”
toji downed the rest of his drink in one go.
and stood.
“don’t fall in love,” he said over his shoulder as he moved toward the hallway.
you followed. because it was already too fucking late.
the hallway to the bathroom was narrow, humid, and alive in the way all bad decisions are—pulsing with leftover bass, lit by flickering red neon that made everything look like it was soaked in blood and bad taste. a warped “EXIT” sign hung above the far end like a lie, like hope, like something god had given up on. the walls were sticky, painted black, smeared with the fingerprints of too many hands that didn’t belong anywhere else. you could hear the music still, like it was coming from inside your chest. or his.
toji walked ahead of you with the kind of gait that didn’t need to check behind him to know you’d follow. wide shoulders, unhurried steps, a slight roll to his hips like he was dragging the entire fucking world behind him and had made peace with it. he didn’t look back. he didn’t say anything.
and you—fucking idiot, slut in progress, full of bad glitter and worse ideas—you followed him like the devil never lied, heels sticking to the floor, chest rising and falling too fast, heat crawling up the backs of your knees like it had teeth.
you passed a couple making out against the wall, faces crushed together like starved dogs. a guy throwing up in a bucket with a girl patting his back like she loved him for it. someone crying into a mirror, mascara smeared down their cheekbones like war paint. all of it faded. all of it backdrop.
your whole body was zeroed in on him.
toji pushed open the bathroom door without ceremony. it creaked. like it had a vendetta.
the club bathroom was exactly what you expected from a place called gristle: a flickering fluorescent above the mirror, one stall door missing entirely, cracked tiles that looked like someone had lost a fight with their reflection. the floor was wet. you didn’t ask with what. the whole place smelled like bleach, piss, and someone’s regretful aftershave.
but the last stall—the farthest one, the only one with a working lock—was open.
he walked straight in.
paused.
turned halfway in the doorway, one hand braced on the chipped frame, and finally looked at you again. like a challenge. like a dare. like he wasn’t gonna pull you in. not unless you stepped forward yourself. “last chance,” he said, voice low, rough, carrying that kind of warmth that only exists inside furnaces and buried trauma. “you got about three seconds to decide whether you’re gonna regret this.”
you laughed.
it came out a little wild. a little cracked.
“bitch, i already regret it.”
and then you stepped in.
he closed the door behind you. it clicked shut like the start of a ritual.
now it was just the two of you, breathing the same stifling, chemical-washed air, shadows cast sharp and ugly across your faces by the single busted light overhead. you could see the sweat beading at his temples, the shine of it along the thick cut of his throat. you could see the scar on his lip, and the deeper one under his jaw, like someone had tried to silence him with a blade and failed. his eyes were even worse up close—mean, ancient, alive in the way fire is alive when it’s out of control. they flicked over you with slow, deliberate weight.
he didn’t touch you.
he didn’t need to.
he just looked.
and it felt like a strip search. like a dissection. like you were standing naked already, ribs cracked open, heart fluttering like it knew what was coming and wanted to hide behind your lungs. “what’s your name?” he asked suddenly, voice pitched like he didn’t care but also like he needed it for something he didn’t want to name.
you hesitated.
then said it.
he rolled it around in his mouth. didn’t repeat it, just tasted it, the way a man might taste a curse or a memory or a prayer he wasn’t allowed to say. “huh,” he said. “too pretty for the kind of shit you’re about to let me do.” you were about to shoot back something equally stupid, something unhinged, something desperate and mean and wet with anticipation—
but he took a step closer.
just one.
and it was enough to send your breath hitching and your back pressing gently against the wall of the stall like you needed to hold the whole building up. you could smell him now—cigarettes, aftershave, sweat, and something else, something feral and tired and male, the kind of scent that made you feel like a house left unlocked.
he raised a hand.
not to grab you. not yet. he just rested it on the wall beside your head, knuckles ghosting the tile, his eyes boring down into yours like he was looking through you. like he was checking for rot.
“you don’t even know how good you look right now,” he murmured, and his voice sounded wrecked—torn at the edges, too old for this, too fucked up to know better, too close to the edge.
you whispered, “then tell me.”
he laughed.
short. breathy. not nice.
“nah,” he said. “gonna show you.”
still—still—he didn’t touch you.
he let the silence wrap around the both of you like plastic, like a vacuum seal, like the breath between the lightning and the thunder. he let you feel the heat crawling up your neck, let your hands twitch at your sides like they wanted something to hold onto before the world caved in.
his eyes didn’t leave yours. not once.
and when he finally, finally leaned in, mouth brushing close enough to yours that you could feel the shape of the words more than you heard them, he said—
“say please.”
you exhaled so sharply it stuttered.
and then—
“no.”
his grin was all teeth. no mirth. no kindness. just hunger dressed up like satisfaction.
“good,” he said. “don’t beg yet.”
and he leaned back.
waited.
waited for you to break first.
and fuck—
you wanted to.
you moved without thinking. or maybe you were thinking too much—just not with the part of your brain responsible for restraint. maybe it was the tequila, or the way his voice slithered under your skin like something hot and reckless, or the way he still hadn’t touched you first, like he was trying to prove a point. you pushed him.
both hands flat against his chest, sudden, hard, more force than you meant but less than he deserved, and he let you, let you shove him back until he stumbled into the closed janitor’s closet behind him. his legs hit the lip of the metal threshold, knees bending with a grunt, and he sank down onto the makeshift seat like he wanted to be there—like he’d planned it all along.
and then his hands—fuck, those hands—were on your thighs.
rough palms, calloused fingers, thick enough to bruise without meaning to. he didn’t trail them up. didn’t tease. he gripped, greedy, dragging you forward like you were already claimed. his touch lit a fuse somewhere behind your sternum. your breath stuttered, caught, and your hips moved before your mind caught up, knees hitting the outside of his legs as you let yourself be pulled between them like gravity was a kink.
your hands landed on his shoulders to steady yourself, fingertips pressing into solid muscle wrapped in cotton and heat. you could feel it—him—beneath the thin fabric of his shirt: the thick slope of his traps, the unforgiving hardness of a man who spent too much time in fights and not enough in therapy.
“jesus,” you breathed, unthinking.
“what?”
your palms slid over the lines of him, feeling the definition like it had something to tell you, like each inch of him was a secret your hands could decode.
“you’re so fucking hot,” you muttered, half to yourself.
toji chuckled. it was low and mean and full of dirt. like he’d heard it before, but it still pleased him in that deeply male, deeply awful way.
“you climbin’ on or just gonna compliment me to death?”
you didn’t answer.
you straddled him.
slow, deliberate, dragging your knees over his thighs until your hips settled down onto his lap, the heat of him pressed tight against the inside of your thighs like a confession he didn’t have to say out loud. you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying not to moan at how fucking big he was—everything about him. wide shoulders. thick neck. those awful, perfect hands still gripping your thighs like he owned them.
your nose brushed against his jaw, and for a second, you didn’t move. didn’t kiss. didn’t speak.
you just inhaled.
his scent hit you in the teeth—spice and sweat and something darker, older, something like woodsmoke and nights without sleep. it wasn’t cologne. it was him. it made your eyes flutter shut for a second longer than you meant to.
then your lips ghosted against the side of his neck, soft, barely there, just enough to taste the salt and heat of him. “what’s your name?” you asked into his skin, voice breathless. he didn’t answer right away. you kissed his neck again, slower this time, tongue just barely tasting him. he exhaled, rough. “toji.”
you hummed like it was a meal, a warm word you could chew on. “toji,” you repeated, testing it, letting it sit on your tongue like liquor.
you kissed just under his jaw. “are you married, toji?”
he huffed. not quite a laugh.
“nah. divorced. long time ago.”
you let your lips linger at his throat, barely touching, feeling his pulse jump just under the skin. “why’d she leave?” his voice was quiet this time. bitter. real. “ran off with some other guy. wanted something better, i guess.” you pulled back a little, just enough to look at him, brushing a stray piece of hair off his forehead with one finger. he was staring at you, eyes darker now, more guarded, but not pulling away.
you tilted your head and said, low and smug and filthy-sweet, “someone’s trash is someone’s treasure, y’know.”
toji snorted. actually snorted, head tilting back slightly, a rough sound in the back of his throat like amusement had caught him off guard. his hands flexed on your thighs, thumbs digging into the meat like he needed an anchor.
“you callin’ me trash, baby?”
you grinned, lips brushing against his cheekbone.
“only if you want me to recycle you.”
his laugh this time was full—short, sharp, almost surprised. you felt it through your whole body, the vibration rolling up his chest into yours. he looked at you like you were an accident he wasn’t sure he regretted yet.
“you’re mouthy,” he muttered.
“you’re old,” you shot back.
“and yet,” his hand slid up, resting heavy against your ass, “you’re in my lap.”
you leaned in again, lips brushing against the shell of his ear.
“so what’re you gonna do about it?”
toji leaned back, just enough to look you in the eyes, a slow, deliberate smirk pulling at the scar on his lip.
“whatever the fuck i want.”
you smiled.
“good.”
your hands started moving before your mouth did—fingers trailing down the slope of his shoulder, slow and shameless, brushing over the tight fabric of his shirt, down across the sharp cut of his chest. you could feel the muscles shift beneath your palms, all dense and unforgiving, like stone that had decided to grow teeth. he wasn’t just strong. he was engineered. like god got horny once and never did it again.
you were still waiting for him to touch you properly.
but you were starting to think the waiting was the whole goddamn point.
you dragged your fingers lower, feeling every groove of him, every inch mapped like sin beneath your hands. his abs were taut, hard, ridiculous—less six-pack, more topographical map of a mountain range you wanted to get lost in. they flexed when you touched them, a subtle twitch under your fingertips like his body was reacting on its own, and it made your thighs clench around his lap.
“jesus christ,” you muttered, reverent and obscene at once. “what the fuck do you do? bench-press small cars? choke people for a living?”
toji smirked without answering. that same little twist of his mouth, one corner pulling up like it wanted to make fun of you, like it knew how dumb you sounded—like he made people talk like that just by existing. you didn’t let him speak. you pushed your palm flat against the cut of his abs, slow circles, down toward his navel, and grinned, breath hot against his jaw.
“i could literally squirt just from humping your stomach,” you said, blunt as a knife. “just grind on these things like a fucking degenerate and ruin your whole shirt.”
toji barked out a short, rough laugh—sharp enough to show teeth, mean enough to make your pulse stutter. “you’re disgusting.”
“and you’re enabling me.”
“you say that like it’s a problem.”
you let your hand drift lower still—not far enough to be a real threat yet, just enough to tease, then slid it back up again, slowly, nails dragging over the ridges of his stomach like you were mapping the way you’d ride him. your other hand stayed locked behind his neck, nails lightly scraping along the curve of his nape, anchoring you there in his lap, where you didn’t belong, where you wanted to live forever.
and then your hand found his chest again.
specifically; his nipple.
you didn’t hesitate. just caught it between your thumb and finger and gave it a little tug.
he flinched.
not big. not obvious. just a twitch—shoulders shifting under your palm, his hips tightening under yours, a low sound catching in his throat like something he hadn’t meant to make. and it lit you up. a flare of heat, sharp and fast, blooming behind your sternum like something you’d swallowed was fighting to get out.
“huh,” you said, grinning like a cat with something twitching between its teeth. “you’re sensitive.”
toji’s eyes flicked up to meet yours, slower than before. darker.
“keep talkin’ like that, baby,” he said, low and warning, “you’re gonna find out how long it’s been since someone made me come.”
your stomach flipped.
not from fear. from anticipation.
you pinched again, slower this time, more curious than cruel, watching the way his chest moved with the pressure, how his breath hitched before he swallowed it down. “i like you like this,” you murmured, leaning in again, lips brushing the underside of his jaw. “all rough and ready to break shit, but twitchy when i touch you just right.”
“nobody touches me like that.”
you kissed just below his ear.
“shame,” you said.
your voice dropped to a whisper, low and mean and sweet at once.
“i’ll fix that.”
he exhaled hard through his nose, chest rising beneath your hand. his fingers dug harder into your thighs, like he wanted to grip bone, like he wanted to see if your skin would remember him tomorrow.
“you’re not scared of me,” he muttered, almost like it was a question.
“should i be?”
his lip twitched. “probably.”
you smiled, letting your lips ghost over the sharp angle of his jaw, thumb brushing lazily across his nipple again, slower now, testing him. “then maybe i want to be a little scared.”
his hands slid higher on your thighs, thumbs pressing in slow circles, rough, patient, menacing, the kind of touch that wasn’t asking for permission—it was letting you pretend you still had a choice.
“you keep teasing like that,” he said, voice lower now, quieter, dead calm, “and i’m gonna stop being polite.” you rolled your hips forward just enough to feel him through his jeans—hot, hard, there. “you’ve been polite?” you said, eyes wide and false, mocking. “this is you being polite?”
he laughed again. slower this time. darker.
“baby,” he said, fingers curling into your skin, “you have no fucking idea.” and still—he hadn’t kissed you. not once. and it was driving you insane.
you were perched in his lap like temptation incarnate, like a sin wrapped in skin and glitter, thighs bracketing his like you were made to ride things that broke people, hands still playing soft and obscene over his chest like you didn’t know what restraint meant, like you were touching something sacred just to see if it bled.
toji hadn’t moved much. not in the obvious way. not in the way most men do when they’ve got someone straddling them, whispering filth into their jaw like a sacrament. no, he was too still, too composed, like a bomb wired too carefully to detonate early. like he wanted to wait. to build it. let it stretch. to hold onto the tension until it snapped in your mouth.
your fingers were still teasing across his chest—idling over the muscle, flicking once more over that sensitive spot just beneath his nipple, watching for the way his stomach flinched or the corners of his mouth twitched. you liked it. you loved it. how it made him twitch, how it made his hands twitch harder against your thighs like they wanted to move but were waiting for your next line, like he wanted to see just how much worse you could get.
you leaned in again, lips hovering by his throat, breath hot and unkind.
“you ever had a girl ride your abs?” you asked, voice like melted sugar poured down someone’s back—sweet, but meant to burn. “like, actually just sit on your stomach and get off like it was nothing? bet they haven’t. bet none of them could handle it.”
his breath stuttered.
“jesus,” he muttered.
“nah,” you grinned, dragging your teeth just lightly along his neck, not biting—yet—just there, a whisper of promise. “but you can call me that if it helps.” he growled. actually growled. a sound low in his chest like something cornered and annoyed it liked it.
and finally—finally—his hands left your thighs. not far, just sliding up, rough palms dragging over your skin, slow and heated and full of intent. he cupped your hips like he was trying to feel the bones underneath, thumbs pressing into the meat of you with a bruiser’s patience.
you moved against him—barely, just a roll of your hips, a shift that let your weight settle over the thick press of him under his jeans, and god, fuck, it felt obscene. it made your breath hitch and his jaw clench, and the stall felt too small for what was building, the air too thick, like you were breathing in each other’s heat, each other’s worse instincts.
you whispered, lips against the shell of his ear, “you like this?”
toji didn’t answer right away. just let his hands slide down again, gripping tighter, thumbs dipping under the hem of your skirt like they were testing your limits.
“you know how long it’s been since anyone touched me?” he said, voice low, almost flat, like he wasn’t sure why he was telling you. “since anyone looked at me without seeing a mess, a fuckin’ has-been?”
you pulled back, just a little, enough to look at him, eyes meeting his with something like interest wrapped in something darker. not pity. not sympathy. just hunger. focused and real.
“how long?” you asked softly, fingers still on his chest, dragging down again, slow and hungry. he looked past you for a second. somewhere to the side. not even seeing the busted stall wall anymore. something older, in his voice now. broken-glass honesty.
“eight years. almost nine.”
you stared.
and then, with a wicked little smile curling your lips, you whispered, “someone’s trash…”
toji’s mouth twitched.
“…is someone’s treasure,” you finished, breathless, grin wide and smug and so, so stupid.
he barked a laugh, surprised and feral.
“you really just called me trash again.”
you shrugged. “i mean. recycled goods. eco-conscious dick. saving the planet.”
“you’re fucking insane,” he said, voice pitched like he might start laughing again or snap your waistband with his teeth.
you leaned forward, pressed your forehead against his, your lips barely a breath from his. “and you’re letting me sit on your lap in a bathroom stall. so what does that make you?”
he grinned.
all teeth. all bad decisions.
“about to make the worst choice of my goddamn life.”
“good,” you breathed. “i was worried we were on different pages.”
your arms wrapped tighter around his neck, fingers curling into the hair at his nape. his hands slid back up, under your skirt now, warm palms against your ass, fingers flexing like he needed to touch you everywhere before his brain caught up.
and still.
he hadn’t kissed you.
and you were starting to go crazy with it.
your eyes met again. his were darker now. heavy. hungry.
but he waited.
he wanted you to crack first.
“fucking kiss me,” you hissed, voice wrecked.
he smirked.
“say please,” toji said again, like a fucking ritual, and this time—
this time you almost said it.
you held his stare like a dare, like you were trying to outlast a god, both of you locked in this awful, exquisite standoff of breath and blood and the terrible pressure of almost—his hands hot on your hips, your thighs burning around him, the tension between your bodies so taut it felt like it would hum if someone plucked it. and still, no kiss. not yet. like he needed one more act of worship before he let your mouths meet. like he wanted you naked before he let himself feel anything sweet.
fine. fuck it. you’d do it yourself.
you shifted in his lap, slow and deliberate, dragging your hands back from his shoulders to the hem of your top, fingers curling under the fabric like you were peeling off something sacred. you kept your eyes on his—watching the way his pupils swallowed up the green when he realized what you were doing—lifting your shirt up over your ribs, higher, higher, until the fabric slipped past your chin and you tossed it off to the side without ceremony.
no bra. piercings.
because of course not.
just bare skin and pierced nipples, glinting silver in the dirty fluorescent light like jewelry for the kind of girl who knew she wasn’t soft, who never pretended she was.
you didn’t speak.
you just sat there, half-naked in his lap in a goddamn club bathroom, chest heaving, nipples hard in the cold air, the metal rings catching the light like something dangerous, something mean, something that needed to be touched wrong to be touched right. and you watched him, watched how he breathed—just once, just sharp—and how his hands flexed like they didn’t know whether to grab your waist or punch through the stall wall.
“well, fuck me,” toji muttered, voice thick now, ruined with it. “no wonder you’ve been talking like you wanna go to hell. you’re built like you already run the place.”
you smiled, smug and filthy and lit from within.
“told you,” you whispered. “eco-conscious. sustainable. slutty.”
his mouth twitched. not a full smile—he was too gone for that now, too inside-out with the need to play it cool—but it was there. something dangerous and animal moved across his face, and then he leaned in. you thought he was finally going to kiss you. you felt it. the moment before detonation. but instead— his head dropped.
and he latched onto your nipple.
“fuck—”
your back arched like a whip, hands flying to his shoulders again, nails digging in without thinking, mouth falling open with something more breath than sound. toji sucked, slow and heavy, his tongue sliding over the barbell and pressing into the sensitive flesh around it like he wanted to make you cry. his mouth was hot, his stubble scraped, and when his teeth grazed just a little too sharp you gasped, hips rolling down into his lap like it was reflex.
his hands gripped your ass again, anchoring you, holding you down while he switched sides, mouth closing over your other nipple like he was starving and you were something he’d earned by bleeding for it. his groan vibrated through you, low and primal and filthy, and when he pulled back there was spit on your skin, cooling fast, and his face was flushed in a way that made something deep in your belly twist and spark.
“jesus christ,” he said hoarsely. “you’re unreal.”
“you’re the one with your mouth on my tits,” you shot back, voice too high, too tight, shaking a little, “don’t go blaming me now.”
“not blaming,” he muttered, still staring at your chest like he might bite again. “just... christ. you’re like a fuckin’ problem someone dared me to solve with my mouth.”
and then—finally—he moved.
his hand came up, one big palm on the side of your face, warm and rough and steady, and his thumb brushed over your cheek like he was trying to decide if you were real. your breath caught. your whole body tightened.
and then he kissed you.
hard.
not sweet, not gentle, not even patient. just full, just everything, like he was trying to make up for every minute he hadn’t touched you, every year he hadn’t been touched himself. his mouth crashed into yours with the force of someone who’d been starving for too long and had finally been thrown a pulse, all teeth and tongue and hunger, one hand cradling your head and the other gripping your ass like he wanted to fuse you to him.
you moaned into his mouth, loud and broken, grinding down against his lap because your body didn’t know what else to do, because he tasted like heat and fury and something lost, and you never wanted to stop.
“toji,” you gasped against his lips, not even knowing what you were going to say next.
he pulled back just enough to growl, “yeah?”
and you didn’t say anything.
you just kissed him again, harder, because there was no language for this anymore. just mouths. and need. and heat. and the feeling that if you weren’t careful, this man was going to leave fingerprints on your soul.
the kiss was a full-body event, not just mouths but movement, grip, heat, the wild pressure of skin-on-skin with nowhere to go and too much to say. it didn’t matter that you were half-naked in a club bathroom stall where the floor smelled like a crime scene and the walls were so thin you could hear someone vomiting two doors down—none of that mattered, because toji’s mouth was on yours like he was carving something out of you, like he was writing his name behind your teeth, and you were letting him, eagerly, shamelessly, drunk on it, high on it, completely undone.
his tongue pushed past your lips like he belonged there, slow and deep, not searching—claiming, like he’d waited a decade for a mouth that tasted this wrong and this right all at once. you moaned into it, hands tangling in his hair now, that thick, unruly mess of black you wanted to pull until he begged, your body moving without your consent, grinding against his lap like a goddamn heat-seeking missile. every movement made you more desperate, more soaked, more stupid, and the worst part was he knew it—you could feel it in the way he kissed you, like he was humoring your urgency but didn’t need to rush, because he could have you whenever he wanted.
“fuck,” he muttered against your lips, pulling back just enough to look at you—flushed, breathless, pupils blown wide like a blackout curtain had dropped behind his eyes. “look at you. look at you, fuckin’ shaking just from kissing.”
“you kiss like it’s a crime,” you gasped, but it came out half a whimper, too much pleasure in your voice to be convincing. “like—fuck—like you’re trying to make me come with your mouth alone.”
toji grinned, cocky and dangerous and filthy.
“maybe i am. you wet for me already, sweetheart?”
you didn’t answer, because your hips were doing it for you—rocking down against his jeans with so much friction you wanted to cry, the seam catching you just enough, the pressure building, and his cock so hard beneath you it felt like punishment. you were dripping, underwear soaked through, thighs shaking, and his hands weren’t helping—palms wide on your ass, rocking you down, grinding you into him like he wanted to wear you out before he even got your panties off.
“fuckin’ soaked, aren’t you?” he said, voice a rasp now, low and hot in your ear. “you’re gonna leave a mark on my fuckin’ jeans, baby. ruin me before i even get my dick out.”
“then do it,” you snapped, voice wrecked. “let me. let me ruin you.”
toji groaned, head dropping to your shoulder as he laughed, low and obscene.
“shit. listen to you. needy little brat.”
you tightened your grip on his shoulders, biting down on a gasp as he rocked you harder against him, the rhythm slow but filthy, your clit catching against the fabric with every pass, the wetness between your legs making your thighs slick where they touched his jeans.
“look at you,” he said again, voice softer now but still thick with want. “grinding like a fuckin’ bitch in heat. that what you need, baby? someone to tell you how good you are while you ride his lap in a public bathroom like a fuckin’ slut?”
“yes,” you breathed, and there was no dignity in it, no irony, just raw honesty. “yes, yes, fuck, say it again.”
he sat up straighter, one hand sliding up your back, warm and steady, the other gripping your hip tight enough to leave bruises. his lips were back on your throat now, trailing kisses—no, bites, little sharp things that made you twitch and gasp and roll your hips harder.
“you’re so good,” he growled. “so fuckin’ pretty like this. filthy little thing. bet no one’s ever let you get this messy before.”
“they haven’t,” you whispered, high and wild and broken.
“of course they haven’t,” he muttered, hand sliding between your bodies now, cupping your pussy through your soaked panties. “’cause they’re not me.”
you cried out when his fingers pressed down, through the fabric, right against your clit, and he just held them there, didn’t move yet, just the pressure of it, the presence of it, as if to say i can give you everything, but only if i want to.
“you’re shaking,” he said again, almost in awe. “look at you. fuck. look how bad you want it.”
you nodded, frantic, rolling your hips, chasing the friction.
“please,” you whispered. “please, please—”
toji leaned in, mouth on your jaw, lips dragging across your ear.
“there it is,” he said, dark and triumphant. “that’s what i wanted. beg for it, baby. you want me to make you come like this? just from grinding?”
“yes, yes—i can—i will—”
“fuckin’ right you will,” he growled. “’cause you’re perfect. you’re fuckin’ perfect, and this pussy—fuck, this pussy’s gonna soak me right through, isn’t it?”
you moaned—high and desperate and completely gone—because he was right, he was so right, and your body was already pulling taut, everything tingling, building, the whole world narrowing to the heat between your legs and the sound of his voice and the rock of your hips on his lap, friction blurring into pleasure so loud it drowned out thought.
and still—he hadn’t taken your panties off. still—he hadn’t even kissed your neck where you needed it. still—he wasn’t fucking you. not yet. because this was just the beginning. and he wanted to see how far you’d fall before he even let you come.
your cunt was throbbing. soaked through the sheer cotton of your underwear, the whole front of it stuck tight to your slit like second skin, every slow, cruel grind against the thick bulge in toji’s jeans shooting sparks up your spine, dragging friction across your clit so hot it felt like electricity, like punishment, like prayer—but no salvation was coming. not here. not yet.
toji wasn’t letting you have it easy.
no, he was watching you come apart, eyes hooded, lips parted, one hand on your ass, the other flat against the small of your back like he was holding you in place just to observe the mess you were making of yourself. and you were making a fucking mess—your hips rolling in slow, stuttering circles, breath hitching every time your clit caught just right, every time the angle hit that spot that made your vision spark at the edges. his jeans were dark with your slick now. it had soaked clean through, turned the rough denim into something humid and hot and obscene, and he hadn’t even moved.
he grinned, teeth bared, voice dragging out of his chest like it was dipped in smoke and sin.
“look at you,” he murmured, so low it didn’t sound real. “fuckin’ drooling on my lap. like you don’t even know how to behave.”
you whimpered, not even trying to deny it, not even trying to stop your hips anymore, just grinding down harder, faster, more desperate, using him like he was a thing, like a toy, and he loved it—you could tell, could feel how hard he was under you, thick and unyielding, the heat of him seeping through denim and cotton and skin like he was burning from the inside out.
“you hear that?” he whispered, mouth brushing your ear now, lips hot and damp and cruel. “you’re so wet, baby, i can hear you. hear this pretty pussy workin’ for it. tryin’ so hard to come on me like you need it.”
“i do,” you gasped, voice shaking. “i need it, toji, please—”
“i know you do,” he said, thumb dragging up your spine, slow and firm, like he was petting something wild and ready to snap. “you need it so bad you’d hump my fuckin’ abs if i let you. you’d sit on my chest like a good little toy and make yourself come.”
you whined, high-pitched and helpless, hips stuttering now, every pass over his cock sending your body into convulsions, little aftershocks building toward something brutal. your hands were shaking against his chest, nails digging in, trying to anchor yourself before your own body betrayed you.
“that’s it,” toji growled, voice thick, breath warm on your neck. “grind on me, baby. come for me. come just like this, messy little thing, fuckin’ beautiful.”
and that word—beautiful—punched through you like a nail through soft wood, splitting you open. it was too much. it broke something.
you gasped again, mouth falling open, eyes rolling back just a little, because your orgasm hit you like a freight train, fast and catastrophic and undeniable, hips jerking, thighs shaking around him as your whole body locked up, tight and twitching and slick. your clit pulsed against the rough drag of his jeans, and for a second all you could hear was static, breath and heartbeat and the hot wet sound of your soaked underwear sticking to your cunt like your body wanted to keep the memory.
“fuck,” toji groaned, voice dark and ragged, eyes glued to your face as you came. “that’s it. just like that. god damn, look at you—so good, baby. so fuckin’ good for me.”
you were barely breathing, shaking like a leaf in a storm, your whole body undone on top of him, and still, his hands held you steady, let you ride it out, let you grind through the aftershocks like he wanted to feel every single second of your ruin. his hand came up to your cheek, fingers curling around your jaw, thumb brushing your bottom lip as you gasped, stunned and half-feral.
“you ever come like that before?” he asked, low and smug and so, so filthy.
you shook your head, dazed.
“thought so,” he said. “’cause no one else knows what to do with a pussy like yours, baby. they don’t know how to look at you, let alone fuck you right.”
you whimpered, half-laughing, tears stinging your eyes now, overstimulated and shaking and so full of want it was making you stupid.
“you’re a fuckin’ dream,” he said, quieter now, voice warmer, almost reverent. “you know that? filthy little mouth, perfect tits, pussy that sings for me—you were made for this. for me.”
you nodded, breath catching. “say it again.”
toji smirked, eyes glinting, one hand sliding back down to your waist as he pulled you forward again.
“you were made for me.”
and god help you, you believed him.
your hands were trembling, still shaky from the wreck of that first orgasm, your thighs twitching around his lap, soaked panties clinging to your slit like a brand, like shame, like proof—and toji hadn’t even fucked you yet. he was still fully dressed, his shirt damp with sweat from where your chest had pressed against him, his jeans dark from your slick, and his cock—fuck, you could feel it, all of it—was still locked away like a weapon waiting for deployment.
and it was time. it was fucking time.
you leaned back just enough to give yourself space, your palms still braced on his chest, steadying you as your breath came hot and uneven through your nose, mouth parted, your lips still wet from kissing, from moaning, and you looked down between your bodies like it was something sacred. his belt was half-undone already, buckle hanging open from where your desperate grinding had loosened it—like even the metal couldn’t handle what was coming.
“fuck, baby,” you breathed, fingers fumbling at the leather, dragging it the rest of the way through the loops. “your cock’s been pressing into me like it’s got its own fuckin’ mind.”
toji let out a low chuckle, something dark and frayed around the edges.
“it does,” he said. “it’s been waitin’. patient. even though you’ve been bouncin’ on it like a fuckin’ toy.”
you popped the button, pulled down the zipper with a long, slow zzzzrrk that felt like it echoed in the stall, louder than the bass outside, louder than the sound of your own heart trying to punch through your ribs. your fingers dipped into the waistband of his boxers, dragging them low enough to see the top of it—veins, thick and pulsing, and just so much of him already visible before you’d even freed it. your eyes widened.
“holy shit,” you muttered.
he grinned, teeth flashing under the sick overhead light. “what?”
you didn’t answer right away. your hands moved again, both of them, pushing the waistband down further, and then—
you let him out.
his cock slapped against his lower stomach, heavy, dark and flushed, slick already at the tip, a thick drop of precum glistening like it belonged in your mouth. it was obscene—long, fat, veiny as hell, the kind of dick that looked like it needed its own leash, its own warning label, its own space. the veins ran thick up the shaft, winding under skin pulled tight like leather, like the blood barely fit inside him. his head was broad, a little darker than the rest, flushed near purple, and leaking like it was angry he hadn’t buried it yet.
you swallowed, one hand wrapping around the base—your fingers not meeting—and your other sliding up from the middle to the head, both hands now working together to hold him. “you’re built like a fuckin’ war crime,” you said, voice shaking somewhere between awe and horny delirium. “of course your cock’s this big. stupid big. like—jesus—i should call a priest. or a contractor. fuckin’ get structural support.”
toji moaned.
not soft. not gentle. not theatrical.
a real moan—gut-deep, choked out of him, like your words had done something, like the way your hands moved up and down his shaft, slow and reverent, was too much.
“fuck, you’re perfect,” he rasped, hips twitching once into your grip. “both hands and you still can’t hold all of me? fuckin’ look at that. look at how pretty you are, baby. jerkin’ me off like you wanna worship it.”
you grinned, dazed, breath catching as your thumbs swept over the head, spreading the precum, watching the way his abs flexed every time you touched him right. “i do wanna worship it,” you said. “fuckin’ temple-level. build a church around this dick and let me live in it.”
toji laughed again—short, loud, fucked.
“gonna make me come just from talkin’, baby,” he muttered, voice frayed and sharp. “keep goin’. keep fuckin’ sayin’ that shit.”
you stroked him harder now, slow and tight, twisting a little near the head just to hear the way he groaned, to feel the twitch in your hands.
“you know what this looks like?” you whispered, leaning close again, mouth brushing his jaw as your hand kept working. “like something that ruins girls. like something that splits ‘em open, wrecks ‘em, makes ‘em talk in tongues. you ever see a girl cry while sittin’ on your dick, toji?”
“more than once,” he said, hoarse, hips jerking again. “none of ‘em sounded as fuckin’ good as you, though. jesus—your voice, baby—gonna ruin me.”
“i wanna ruin you.”
your thumb brushed the tip again, slow and teasing.
“wanna fuckin’ sit on it till i can’t talk. ride you till my legs give out. wanna let you fuck the brat outta me.” he hissed through his teeth, hips bucking, precum now sliding slick over your hands, warm and messy.
“sayin’ all that while jerkin’ me off in a stall,” he panted, head falling back against the wall. “fuck, you’re filthy. filthy and so fuckin’ good, baby. look at you. makin’ me feel like this without even sittin’ on it yet.”
you leaned in, voice low, breath hot against his ear.
“you’re gonna fuck me with this, toji?”
“yeah,” he growled, breath hot and shaking. “gonna fuck you stupid. gonna split you open nice and slow, make you feel every inch. make you remember it for the rest of your life.”
your cunt clenched so hard your knees almost gave out.
and you were still holding his cock like it was the goddamn holy grail.
and you hadn’t even put it in yet.
your hands kept moving, steady now, smooth and slick and reverent like you’d done this a thousand times in a dream and were only now getting the holy chance to do it for real. both palms wrapped around the base of him, moving slow, tight, twisting slightly as you reached the top, thumbs spreading the precum over the flushed head, watching it glisten like something sacrilegious, like something stolen from a shrine. your fingers couldn’t meet even at the base—he was that thick, obscene, heavy in your hands like a weapon built for ruin, and fuck, you wanted to ruin yourself with it.
toji was watching you with a look that should’ve been illegal. half-lidded eyes dark as molasses, lips parted, panting through his teeth like your touch was pulling him apart vein by vein. his chest was heaving under his shirt, soaked with sweat at the collar, and his hips kept twitching just barely into your grip, like he wanted to fuck your fists but was too caught up in the sight of you doing it so willingly, so hungrily, like you loved it. like you were meant for it.
and you did. you fucking did.
you leaned down, let your mouth hover over his cock, eyes never leaving his, and spat.
a long string of it, wet and glistening, landing right on the swollen tip with a lewd little splat, mixing with the precum already smeared across the head, and your hands caught it, smeared it all over, rubbing it in with a filthy grin like you were lotioning up something that lived in hell.
toji hissed—low and feral and wrecked.
“fuck, baby—”
you giggled, soft and wicked, your voice a little hoarse now from all the moaning, but still steady enough to say the worst thing you’d been thinking since the second you saw his cock, “no offense, toji,” you said sweetly, rubbing both hands up and down his shaft, slow and tight, watching him twitch with every pass, “but your ex-wife’s a stupid cunt.”
his eyes widened a little, surprised, maybe delighted.
you kept going, dragging your fist up to just below the head and twisting it there, circling with your thumb while you talked.
“like—look at this fucking dick. are you serious?” you laughed, breathless, bouncing slightly in his lap as your strokes sped up, hot slick sounds echoing in the tiny, awful stall. “you were sittin’ on this at home, and she cheated? left you for some guy with a fuckin’ linkedin account? is she brain-dead?”
toji let out a choked laugh, a single short bark of disbelief before it collapsed into a groan, head tipping back as his hands flexed hard on your waist.
“you’re gonna kill me,” he muttered, breathless, fucked-out already. “fuckin’ mouth on you—goddamn.”
you leaned in, kissed his throat, then licked a stripe up the side of it just to feel him shudder. “i’m serious,” you whispered, licking the shell of his ear now. “if i had a dick like this at home, i’d quit my job. stop seeing my friends. stop eating solid food. i’d be on it twenty-four seven. dick-drunk. knees sore. brain empty. happy.”
he was groaning now, full-bodied, desperate, the veins on his cock standing out like corded rope, the tip leaking freely, your spit and his precum slicking your hands, dripping down his shaft onto his jeans like a signature.
you pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, still stroking, still rubbing your thumb over the head, still letting him feel how good your hands were, how attentive, like you were worshipping something carved out of divine filth.
“i’m gonna put it in now.”
toji’s eyes snapped to yours, wild and almost scared—not of you, not of the act, but of what it was going to do to him.
“you sure?” he rasped. “you’re still fuckin’—you just came once, you’re already twitchin’, baby—i’m big, you know that. i’ll fuckin’ split you open.”
you smiled, slow and sweet and full of madness.
“i want you to.”
his breath caught. his hips twitched.
“fuck,” he groaned. “you’re gonna make me blow just from that. you’re gonna make me lose my fuckin’ mind.”
you rocked forward in his lap, pressing your soaked panties against the head of his cock, and gasped, because even that—even through cotton—felt like it shouldn’t fit. like your body wasn’t made for this kind of sin. but you were going to do it anyway. you were going to take it.
you reached down, dragged the tip against your slit, up and down through your panties, slow, teasing, not slipping him in yet, just letting him feel how soaked you were, how ready, how stupid you were for him.
“feel that?” you whispered, lips brushing his. “that’s all for you. no one else’s ever made me this wet. not even close.”
toji groaned—loud, desperate, unhinged—and his hands gripped your hips like he was holding back the apocalypse.
“jesus fuckin’ christ,” he muttered.
and you smiled.
because you hadn’t even started.
you were still straddling him, thighs shaking slightly from the aftershocks of your orgasm and from the slow, throbbing ache that had taken root deep between your legs—the kind of ache that didn’t want relief, just more. the kind of ache that whispered take it, take it all, it’s supposed to hurt a little. and now, with your hands trembling where they rested against his stomach, and his cock leaking against the soaked crotch of your panties, thick and flushed and too much, you knew it wasn’t going to be simple. this wasn’t gonna be easy. this wasn’t something you could laugh through.
and still—you pushed your panties aside.
fingers hooking under the soaked elastic, dragging the thin cotton to the side, just enough to expose the wet, swollen mess between your thighs, your lips slick and shining, your hole already fluttering like it knew, like your body was trying to brace for the sheer obscenity of what you were about to force inside it.
“fuck,” toji rasped, eyes dropping like a gravitational pull to your cunt, the way it glistened, twitching right there in front of him. “jesus fucking christ. you’re dripping down your thighs.”
you laughed, high and breathless, reaching down with one hand to angle his cock upright, the other gripping his shoulder so tight your nails left little white crescents in his skin.
“you’ve been talking like you’re a curse, toji,” you whispered, guiding the thick, throbbing head to your entrance. “but i didn’t know you were a goddamn plague.”
he grinned—hungry and crooked and wild—but then his breath caught when the head pressed right up against your pussy, just resting there, the blunt heat of it right there on your soaked little opening.
and even that was too much.
you tried to push down, slowly—just your weight alone, just letting gravity and desperation carry you—and your face immediately twisted, eyes fluttering shut, mouth falling open in a gasp so choked it was almost silent. the stretch was unbearable. hot. wrong. like you were trying to take something not built for human use. like your cunt was clenching out of protest instead of pleasure.
you managed maybe half an inch before your body stopped.
“oh—oh my god,” you whined, already breathless, head tipping forward onto his shoulder. “fuck, fuck, fuck, i didn’t—i didn’t know it would be this hard—”
toji’s hands were on your hips, steadying you, holding you like you were fragile, like you were made of wet glass and sin. he let out a low, strained chuckle, but it wasn’t cruel—it was soft, disbelieving, tender in the kind of filthy way only he could be.
“yeah,” he murmured against your temple, kissing the side of your head as you shuddered, “yeah, baby, i know. it’s a lot. ‘course it’s a lot. fuckin’ told you, didn’t i? said i’d split you open.”
“you are,” you moaned, and your voice cracked near the end, tight with frustration and arousal and the aching urge to take more. “you’re huge, toji, i can’t—fuck, i’m trying—”
his lips brushed your cheekbone, hot and steady.
“you’re doin’ perfect,” he murmured, voice barely a breath. “so good for me. such a good girl. fuckin’ takin’ it, even when it hurts. fuck, you feel how tight you are? grippin’ just the tip, baby—like you don’t wanna let go.”
you whimpered, nails dragging down his chest now, trying to breathe, trying to focus, trying to push through the burn, but your eyes stung and you blinked, and then—
tears spilled.
not sobbing, not dramatic—just the sting of it, the overwhelm, the deep wanting that had nowhere to go but out. “hey,” toji said softly, tilting your face toward him, his thumb brushing the corner of your eye. “what’s this? cryin’ on my cock already?”
he kissed the tear before it could slide down your cheek, then another, his mouth gentle, reverent, filthy in the way it held you. not mocking. not laughing.
just there. with you.
“fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered, voice hot against your skin. “you’re so pretty when you cry. so perfect when you fall apart for me. you’re takin’ me so good, sweetheart, fuck—look at you. you’re stretchin’ so fuckin’ sweet around me.”
you nodded, teeth clenched, moaning as you lowered yourself another inch, the stretch burning now, unbearable and addictive, your body split wide around the sheer girth of him, your cunt fluttering, clenching, trying to make room where there wasn’t any.
your voice cracked again.
“hurts—fuck—it hurts so good, toji—”
“that’s it,” he breathed, hips shifting just slightly, just enough to make you feel it deeper, wider, more. “that’s what i like. feelin’ you break yourself open for it. god damn, you’re made for this.”
“you keep—keep saying that,” you whimpered, tears slipping down again, dripping onto his shoulder, “like i was built for your dick.”
his grin returned—soft and sharp and filthy.
“you were. this pussy was made to take me. look how tight you are, baby—like you never needed anyone else but me.”
and slowly—inch by agonizing, glorious inch—you sank down further.
and further.
and still—he wasn’t all the way in. not yet. but you were going to take every inch. even if it killed you. especially if it killed you.
your body gave in before your mind did—hips twitching, thighs trembling, breath shuddering out of your lungs as the last brutal stretch of him finally slid in, your cunt choking around the thick base of his cock with a helpless, involuntary clench, like it didn’t want to let him go, like it didn’t know how to survive him.
you gasped—mouth wide, head tipped back, neck exposed like something sacrificial, your whole body tensed and arching, and then relaxing, melting into it, as the blunt weight of him bottomed out inside you, seat to base, thick and pulsing, plugged so deep your belly felt full, your muscles trembling around the stretch like they didn’t believe it was over.
and toji—fucking toji—just exhaled through his teeth, mouth parted in some stunned version of a smile that looked like it might unhinge him, watching your face with something close to awe.
“shit,” he murmured, low and hoarse and broken. “you fuckin’ took it.”
you whined. actually whined, because that fullness, that delicious, unbearable pressure, that raw-cored feeling of being too full and still wanting more had you dizzy and aching and grinding down on him like your body was possessed by the shape of him.
“you’re all the way in,” you whispered, voice thin and stretched out over the edge of a sob, eyes half-lidded, lips swollen. “i feel you—i feel you so fucking deep, toji—”
his hands flexed hard around your waist, dragging your hips flush to his one last time, grinding your cunt against the root of his cock, the pressure unbearable, making you gasp and shudder in his lap.
“yeah, baby,” he said, voice pure filth now, that teasing rasp that lived somewhere between worship and cruelty. “you feel that? that’s my cock in your stomach. you’re so fuckin’ tight around me, it’s like your pussy was starving.”
you moaned again, incoherent, your fingers curling in his shirt like it was the only thing tethering you to gravity.
he rocked his hips.
once.
slow.
and your whole body convulsed.
“fuck—toji—”
“easy, sweetheart,” he muttered, mouth brushing your neck, tongue flicking the sweat from your skin. “gonna take care of you. just breathe. you’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
and then he did it again.
slower this time. dragging out of you just an inch, then pushing back in, letting you feel every fucking vein, the throb of him inside your walls like a second heartbeat, like a warning.
your moans were high and shaking now, rhythmic, falling apart on each pass of his hips as he built the rhythm slow—careful, almost tender, not out of mercy but because he wanted you to feel every inch, every second, every millimeter of him splitting you open like a promise.
“you like that?” he whispered, lips brushing your jaw, hands cradling your ass now, helping you roll with him, take it better. “like bein’ split slow? like knowin’ you can barely take it, but you’re takin’ it anyway, ‘cause you’re a good fuckin’ girl?”
you nodded so fast you almost lost your balance.
“i love it—fuck, i love it, i can’t—I didn’t know it could feel this good—”
and then his rhythm shifted.
the slow grind turned to a deeper snap, hips punching up into you with just a little more power, and you wailed, your voice bouncing off the cracked tile walls of the stall, your thighs trembling around him, your breath caught in your throat.
“that’s it,” toji growled. “that’s my girl.”
you barely had time to respond—barely had time to process—before he was grabbing you, shifting your weight suddenly, and your hands shot to his shoulders in a panic.
“toji—what—?”
he didn’t answer.
he moved you.
one hand sliding under your thigh, lifting it with the ease of someone used to manhandling, the other bracing your back as he pushed your knee up—higher, higher—until it was resting on his shoulder, bent awkwardly. and then the other leg followed, and before you could blink, both of your legs were slung over his shoulders, your hips tilted back, exposed, cunt stretched wide around him at a new angle, one that made your breath catch and your vision blur.
“fuckin’ hell,” he groaned, staring down at where your bodies met, his cock glistening, half-shiny with slick, with spit, your cunt so wet it sounded indecent.
“you’re flexible, baby,” he purred, eyes glittering with smug, filthy heat. “gonna keep you folded like this all night. good fuckin’ stretch, huh? how’s that feel?”
you cried out as he thrust—deep, sudden, rough, punching the air from your lungs and making your pussy clench so tight he growled.
“toji! oh my god—”
“nah,” he grunted, smirking now, sweat slick at his brow, “just toji, baby.”
and then he started to fuck you.
no more tenderness. no more slow burn.
just pace—hard and deep and ruthless, each stroke shoving you up the stall door, the slap of your slick against his thighs filthy and fast, the sound of his cock wrecking you echoing louder than your breathless little moans, louder than the club outside, louder than the entire goddamn city.
and through it all—through the rhythm, through the overstimulation, through the fucking stretch—
you held onto him like he was the end of the world.
and maybe he was.
you didn’t know where your body ended and his began anymore—your thighs thrown over his broad shoulders, calves hanging limp behind his back, cunt stretched impossibly wide around his cock, and your spine arched into the peeling tile wall like it was the only thing holding you together. everything below your waist was pulsing. drenched. trembling. you were stuffed so full your hips had gone numb and your nerves were lit up like flares, every thrust from toji dragging a sound from you that wasn’t even human anymore. choked sobs, half-screams, shattered moans—nothing made sense but the feeling of being split open and used like your pussy had a goddamn purpose.
and toji—toji was lost in it.
his grip was iron on your hips, pulling you down onto each thrust like he needed to be deeper, like it wasn’t enough to be inside you—he wanted to live there, drown there, die there. his head was dipped low now, dark hair slicked back from sweat, jaw clenched, lips parted like he was drunk off something heavy and pure. but it wasn’t the club. it wasn’t the drink. it was you. it was your pussy, clenching around him with every rough pump, spasming with every moan he dragged out of your throat, and it was making him lose it.
he thrust again—hard, brutal, the head of his cock punching your cervix—and you screamed, nails digging into his shoulders, tears slipping down your cheeks as your legs twitched around his neck.
“f-fuck, toji—”
“shhh, baby,” he muttered, slurring the word like his mouth was broken. “shhh, fuck—you hear that?”
you were crying, gasping, mouth open and useless.
“listen.”
he slammed into you again, and this time he slowed the drag back out, watching your cunt cling to him with a slick, obscene sound that made him moan, deep and raw. “jesus christ, listen to this fuckin’ pussy,” he breathed, almost in awe. “she doesn’t wanna let go. holdin’ on like she needs me.”
you couldn’t speak.
your mouth was open but all you could do was pant and sob and clench and take it.
“so fuckin’ wet,” he groaned, eyes locked to the place where you stretched around him, watching the mess he was making of you, the glossy ring of slick around the base of his cock, the sticky strings clinging to his thighs. “she’s so greedy, baby. you feel that? your cunt wants it. she’s suckin’ me in like she never got dick before.”
you whimpered, head falling back against the wall, voice high and thin and wrecked.
“i haven’t,” you said, and it wasn’t even a lie. not really. “not like this. not—fuck, not like you.”
toji’s face twitched.
something broke behind his eyes.
“yeah?” he rasped, voice dipping into something darker. “no one ever fucked you like this before? no one ever got you cryin’ and twitchin’ and beggin’ on their cock?”
you shook your head, tears streaking down your cheeks, spit slicking your chin. “no, toji, i swear—n-no one’s ever—fuck—”
he growled, hips snapping into you again, rough and greedy, the sound of your skin slapping echoing in the filthy stall, drowning out the throb of music beyond the door.
“fuckin’ right they haven’t,” he spat. “’cause they couldn’t handle you. you needed a real man to wreck this pussy. needed someone who could fill you up proper.”
you sobbed, legs shaking, whole body shuddering under the weight of his cock, the sheer intensity of being used like that, worshipped and ruined at once. “say it,” he snarled, burying himself to the hilt again, hips grinding against you like he was branding you from the inside out. “say whose pussy this is.”
“y-yours,” you gasped, voice cracking into a high, desperate wail. “yours, toji, it’s—fuck—yours, it’s always been—”
he moaned—head tipping back, eyes fluttering shut, cock twitching inside you—and then leaned forward until his face was buried in your neck, licking at your skin like a starving man, teeth scraping over your pulse.
“god damn, baby,” he breathed, hips stuttering, pace breaking down as his body gave in. “you’re squeezin’ me so tight, you’re gonna milk me—you want that? want me to come inside this tight little hole?”
“yes—yes, please—want it—”
“i know you do,” he hissed, voice pure lust, drunk and filthy. “know you want me to fill you up, breed you stupid, fuck this pussy till she knows who she belongs to.”
you were sobbing now, clawing at his shirt, drooling down your chin, mind unraveling with every thick thrust. he didn’t stop. couldn’t. hips pumping faster now, sharper, more erratic, and his mouth was on your chest, your throat, kissing tears off your face like they were his, like your pain made him harder.
“you’re perfect,” he panted, kissing your lips—sloppy, deep, desperate. “my perfect little fucktoy. so pretty, so tight, so good for me. pussy was made for this.” and in the haze of sweat and moans and overstimulation, you felt him twitch inside you, a growl rising from deep in his chest as his thrusts turned jerky, his whole body tensing—
and you knew he was about to come.
and you wanted to feel it. wanted to break with him.
you felt him get close—too close—his rhythm stuttering for just a moment, not quite breaking, not quite giving in, but it was there, coiled tight and twitching in the way his hips bucked just a little harder, how his grip on your hips turned brutal, fingers digging deep into your flesh like he was anchoring himself to something, like if he didn’t hold on, he’d fall apart.
but he didn’t let go.
he didn’t come.
you felt it in the way his whole body tensed, trembling like a held breath, jaw clenched tight against the curve of your throat, a low, ragged growl rumbling up from his chest as he stopped, buried deep, cock throbbing inside your overstretched pussy—but he held it back, kept it leashed like an animal snapping at the edge of a cage.
and it made you insane.
you whimpered—high, desperate, aching—trying to roll your hips, to chase it, to drag him over the edge with you because your walls were clenching around him like a vice, slick and messy and soaked, milking him like your body knew what it needed.
“toji—fuck—please, why’d you stop—?” you gasped, voice breaking, face twisted with the frustration of being right there on the edge with him and feeling him deny it.
he didn’t answer at first.
just breathed through his teeth, his nose pressed to your neck, his body stiff and trembling, cock twitching inside you like it was fighting him, like it was begging to give in. “’cause if i come right now,” he finally gritted, low and dark and wrecked, “i’m not gonna stop.”
your breath hitched.
he pulled back just enough to look at you—his eyes glassy, almost glazed, jaw tight, sweat beading down his temples. his mouth was open like he’d forgotten how to breathe right. he looked completely undone. ruined. like he’d been drinking your pussy down like liquor and now he couldn’t see straight.
“i’ll break you if i let go now, baby,” he whispered, voice hoarse, shaking. “i’ll fuckin’ ruin this little cunt. you feel how close i am? feel it? i’ve never had pussy like this—never—fuck, i can’t even think.”
you moaned, clenching around him again just to feel that twitch, to feel his restraint crack another inch.
“then do it,” you whispered, licking the sweat from his jaw. “ruin it. fuckin’ break me, toji, i want it—i can take it—”
his expression twisted, something feral rising behind his eyes like a wave.
“you sayin’ that now, sweetheart,” he growled, grinding slow and deep just once, making you cry out, “but you’re already twitchin’. already drippin’ down my fuckin’ balls. this tight little pussy can barely handle one load—what’re you gonna do when i keep goin’?”
“i’ll take it,” you gasped, legs tightening around his shoulders, back arching into him like an offering. “you can come when you want—just don’t stop. please. don’t fucking stop—”
he grinned then—barely, teeth bared like something dangerous—but the pride in his eyes was molten.
“fuckin’ perfect, baby,” he whispered. “you’re my perfect little toy, aren’t you? lettin’ me stretch you like this, fold you up like it’s normal—look at these legs, fuck, look at you—you were made for this.”
and then—
he moved again.
slow at first, just the roll of his hips pulling back a few inches and pushing in deep, grinding that thick cock against the spots inside you that made you cry out and grab his shoulders like a lifeline. his eyes stayed on your face, his jaw tight, his mouth parted, and the way he watched you—hungry, worshipful, starved—it made you feel more naked than his cock ever could.
“this pussy’s got me fuckin’ high,” he said, voice rough. “you hear me? fuckin’ drunk on you. i’ve never felt anything like this—like your body’s pullin’ me in, squeezin’ like she knows me.”
you moaned—pitiful and overwhelmed—as his rhythm picked up again, deeper now, harder, dragging slick, filthy sounds out of you both as your bodies collided.
“i could fuck you for hours,” he growled, one hand sliding down to your thigh, gripping tight as he adjusted your position, pulled your hips forward even more, tilting your pelvis just to angle his cock deeper. “i will. i’ll keep you like this all fuckin’ night, split open and twitchin’, until you’re beggin’ me to come just so i’ll stop.”
you tried to speak but nothing came—just another cry, another desperate whimper as your walls fluttered again, soaked and swollen and full of him.
“hold me tighter,” he said suddenly, grabbing behind your knees and pushing your legs up higher, folding you more, pressing your knees toward your chest as he braced his weight over you. “there we go. good girl. stretch just like that—fuckin’ hell, look how deep i am.”
you felt it.
felt the new angle bury him right against something devastating, something that made your entire vision white out for a second, a sob punched out of your lungs.
“toji—fuck—fuck—”
“that’s it,” he groaned, eyes blown wide, pupils shaking. “fuckin’ take it.”
and even then—
even then—
he still didn’t come.
your body was giving out—limbs numb, hands clumsy and damp where they gripped at his sweat-slick shoulders, your nails dragging useless lines down his skin every time his cock punched that devastating spot deep inside you. your thighs burned from the stretch, knees pressed nearly to your chest, ankles hooked around his broad, brutal shoulders as he fucked you like he had something to prove, something to claim, something to bury inside you so deep you'd taste it for days.
and you were taking it. every inch. every slam. every slick, loud, brutal thrust like it was your religion.
your whole body was slick—sweat and spit and tears and the sheer, filthy mess between your thighs, soaking down your ass and his jeans and the stall floor, an unholy tangle of skin and sound and sensation, and through it all, toji kept praising you, whispering filth in your ear, kissing the tears off your cheeks while he broke you in half on his cock.
but something was shifting in him now—his pace stuttered, his thrusts grew frantic, heavier, less rhythm, more desperation, his moans falling lower in his throat, broken and guttural, each one punched out of him like his body couldn’t keep it in anymore.
his head dropped, and your foreheads met—pressed together, sweat mixing, breath shared in the half-inch of air between your open mouths. his eyes were blown wide, glassy with it, lips twitching like he was trying to speak but couldn’t get past the wrecked sound of his own need.
“baby,” he rasped, voice almost too low to hear over the wet slap of his hips against yours. “baby, i’m gonna fuckin’ come.” you whined, mouth open, panting against his lips, your legs trembling where they strained around his shoulders, the muscles twitching every time he sank all the way in.
“toji—fuck—yes, please—”
his mouth was on yours for a second—messy, open, tongues tangling with no direction—before he pulled back just enough to speak, his forehead still pressed to yours. “you on anything?” he asked, breath ragged, voice wild. “you on the pill, baby—tell me now—”
you nodded, fast and desperate, choking on your own moan as his hips slammed forward again, grinding deep.
“y-yeah—fuck—yes—i’m on it, i’m on it—”
his whole body shuddered.
“fuck,” he breathed. “fuck, baby—can i come inside you? gonna come so deep—fuckin’ fill you up—wanna feel it dripping outta you when i pull out, yeah? you gonna let me do that?”
you whimpered, incoherent, grinding against him now, desperate for it, for all of it, for everything.
he groaned, long and low and destroyed, his whole body tensing like he was fighting it, losing, fighting again—and then giving in completely. “fuck,” he hissed. “you’re so good, baby—so fuckin’ perfect—pussy’s fuckin’ milking me—gonna come—fuck—gonna come inside this pretty fuckin’ cunt—”
and with one final, brutal thrust—
he bottomed out, hips slammed flush to yours, cock buried to the hilt, twitching deep in your heat, and then he broke, coming with a moan so raw and wounded it sounded like worship.
you felt it.
hot and thick and endless, pulse after pulse flooding your cunt, your walls fluttering around him as your body accepted it, welcomed it, every drop, your mouth open in a silent scream, your eyes rolling back as the sheer intensity of it sent you into another trembling orgasm, clenching around him so tight he groaned, pressing his forehead harder to yours.
“fuck—fuck, take it—take it all, baby—look at you—so good—mine,” he growled, voice cracking, “this pussy’s mine now—”
and you believed him.
because you were still shaking. and he was still inside you. and you could feel his come dripping out already. and neither of you could breathe.
but you didn’t want to.
not if it meant letting him go.
he didn’t move—not at first.
toji stayed buried inside you, thick and twitching, still plugged so deep it felt like your cunt was wrapped around the center of him, not just his cock. his head rested against yours, sweat-slick and trembling, breath pouring from his mouth in heavy, broken bursts. the stall felt like it was spinning. the whole world had narrowed to the sound of your breath in sync with his, your pussy fluttering around his softening cock, the hot drip of his come already leaking from where your bodies were still connected.
but your body didn’t stop.
your body wouldn’t stop.
your cunt was clenching, aching, needing, so overstimulated it had gone full circle back into something dangerous—something desperate—your nerves sparking like shorted-out wires, slick leaking down your thighs, the insistent throb of a second orgasm so close it felt like drowning under the weight of not-quite-enough.
you whimpered—your voice soft and high and shaking—and your hips gave a helpless little grind, a roll forward, just enough to make his cock shift inside you.
that made you see stars.
“f-fuck, toji—” your voice cracked, head falling back, mouth open, thighs trembling. “i need—i didn’t—i didn’t come yet—”
that broke through his haze.
his head lifted, barely. just enough to look at you, eyes still dark and dazed but sharpening like a wolf catching the scent of blood. his jaw tightened. his mouth twisted into something that should have been a smirk but was too soft to be cocky. he brought one hand up—palm cupping your face like he needed to hold you there—and pressed his lips to your temple.
“oh, baby,” he rasped, voice torn raw from groaning your name. “you didn’t?” you shook your head, breath hitching, whining as your hips tried again, another roll, another desperate friction, his cock dragging slow inside you and making your whole body spasm.
“’s okay,” you whispered, blinking tears from your lashes. “i just—need a little more—i’m so close, toji, please—”
“shhhh, fuck,” he breathed, kissing your cheek now, your jaw, moving down to your neck, lips hot and open and reverent, “you’ve been so good for me—so perfect—’m gonna get you there, baby, don’t worry—gonna take care of you.”
his hand slid between your bodies, still slick with sweat and the mess between you, until his thumb found your clit—wet and swollen, throbbing with every faint shift of his cock inside you—and he rubbed it, slow and tight, small circles, just enough pressure to make your entire body lock up.
“oh—fuck—” you cried out, hands clawing at his shoulders, clinging to him like he was the only thing anchoring you to your body. “fuck, toji, right there—right there—”
“that’s it,” he murmured, eyes locked on your face, watching you unravel with a look of pure awe. “feel that? how sensitive you are? this pretty little cunt’s so needy, so greedy, just fuckin’ suckin’ me in, beggin’ for it. you’re gonna come for me, yeah? gonna let go?”
“yes, yes—please, don’t stop—don’t stop—”
he shifted his hips again, slow, so slow, pulling back just enough to let you feel the drag of him along your walls, then pushing back in deep, thumb never leaving your clit, just the perfect amount of pressure, the perfect rhythm, your whole body wound so tight you thought your spine might snap.
“fuckin’ look at you,” he whispered, completely mesmerized. “look how beautiful you are when you’re right at the edge. tears in your eyes, pussy wrapped around me so fuckin’ tight—you were made for this, baby. made for me. you wanna come on this cock, don’t you?”
“yes—yes, toji, please, i need—”
“you wanna soak me?” he growled, hips twitching forward, thumb circling harder, your clit so sensitive now you could barely think. “wanna milk my fuckin’ cock while i’m still inside you, stuffed full’a my come? wanna squeeze every last drop out?”
“please—”
and then it hit.
your orgasm ripped through you like your whole body cracked open from the inside, a molten flood of pleasure spilling out, your legs jerking where they hung over his shoulders, your back arching so violently your vision blacked out for a second, mouth open in a silent scream. your pussy clenched hard, gripping his cock in spasms, walls fluttering around him like they were trying to hold him in forever, to wring every drop from him until your bodies fused together.
toji moaned, loud and fucked and wrecked, like your orgasm broke him—his thumb slowing just enough to let you ride the aftershocks, hips grinding forward to keep himself deep while your body milked him through it.
“that’s it,” he groaned, forehead against yours again, voice thick with pride and filth and something heavier. “fuck, you’re perfect. felt you come, baby—fuckin’ felt it—squeezin’ me so tight like your body knows who it belongs to.”
you were crying again—happy tears this time, oversensitive and overstimulated and shaking, unable to speak, unable to do anything but hold onto him while your body spasmed around him, dripping, soaked, ruined.
“you did so good,” he whispered, kissing your lips now, slow and soft, sweet and filthy. “so fuckin’ good for me. made me feel like a goddamn god.”
you laughed, weak and trembling, smiling against his mouth.
and he was still hard. still inside. still not done.
and neither were you.
your legs were still draped over his shoulders, limp now, twitching occasionally, every muscle in your body melted and buzzing with aftershock, like you’d been electrocuted and reborn inside the same wet, filthy breath. your arms were around his neck, weak and slow and unsure whether they were clinging or collapsing, and your forehead was pressed to his again—both of you panting, sweat-slick, your noses brushing with every unsteady inhale.
your eyes were shut.
your mouth was open.
and everything felt too full—too much—and yet, not nearly enough.
his cock was still inside you, thick and insistent, twitching softly, lazily, nestled as deep as it could go like it had roots, like it had decided to live there, and the slow, endless drip of his cum was already leaking out around him, sliding in warm, lazy trails down the crack of your ass, onto the fucked-sticky seat beneath you, pooling into a ruin only the two of you would remember.
and toji—toji was gone.
his hands were on your hips, not moving, just holding, and his eyes were half-lidded, glassy, dazed, wrecked. mouth slack. chest heaving. his tongue wet his bottom lip once, slow and aimless, like he didn’t even realize he was doing it, and he just stared at you like he’d been hit by a truck and liked the way it felt. no smugness now. no smirk. no edge.
he looked like a man who had just gotten possessed by pussy.
and he was struggling to recover.
“…fuck,” he finally whispered, so hoarse it was almost soundless.
you didn’t move. couldn’t.
your lashes fluttered a little but didn’t open, your mouth hanging open like you were still moaning in your head, like your brain hadn’t caught up to the fact that the orgasm was over.
but his voice pulled something from you.
“you alive?” you whispered, barely, lips brushing his.
he laughed—barely—just a quiet, hot breath through his nose.
“barely.”
you smiled, slow and heavy, head tilting to lean into the side of his face, nuzzling your nose against the damp edge of his jaw. his stubble scraped lightly across your skin, grounding you in the afterglow haze, and it made you whimper—small, involuntary—because you were still too sensitive, and his cock was still so fucking deep, and it felt like it was just there now. permanent.
“toji,” you whispered, and you felt his fingers flex on your hips at the sound of his name.
“mm?”
you finally opened your eyes, half-lidded and glossy, barely able to focus, and looked at him—really looked—and your cunt clenched again because his face was wrecked.
his hair was soaked and sticking to his forehead. sweat dripping down his temples. mouth swollen. pupils blown. cheeks flushed. and the look in his eyes—dazed, unfocused, stunned—wasn’t cocky or in control or smug like before.
he looked fucked. like he’d just gotten his soul pulled out through his dick.
you grinned.
“you okay, old man?” you whispered.
toji let out a low groan and dropped his head to your shoulder, body shaking faintly with exhausted laughter. “fuck off,” he muttered, voice thick and raspy. “you don’t get to clown me right now. not when your pussy’s got me seein’ colors.”
“you look like you just saw god,” you said, teasing, brushing your fingers through the damp hair at his nape.
he grunted against your neck. “that was god.”
he pulled back just slightly, eyes fluttering open again, still dazed but soft now, heavy-lidded and so fucking gone on the feeling of you wrapped around him.
“you don’t even get it, do you?” he muttered, eyes locked on your face like he couldn’t stop looking. “pussy this good should be illegal. should come with a fuckin’ warning label. i’m not even sure i’ll pull out if you ask me to.”
you giggled, warm and slow, breath fogging up his skin.
“good thing i’m on the pill.”
“’cause i’d knock you up just to keep this forever,” he said, and it was so low, so dead serious that it made your breath catch.
you blinked, lips parting, not quite able to speak, and he smirked again—but it was soft. less predator, more man being humbled by what he just lived through.
“look at you,” he murmured. “legs still up. pussy still suckin’ me in like she misses me even though i never left. you were made for this cock, weren’t you?”
you nodded, slow and lazy, lips brushing his again.
“mmhmm,” you hummed, smiling. “knew it the second i saw you.”
toji groaned again, a fucked-out, helpless sound, and leaned into your forehead again.
“i’m not done,” he whispered, almost like a confession.
“good,” you whispered back, pulling him down by the shirt. “don’t stop.”
and neither of you moved yet.
just stayed there.
cock still buried.
hearts hammering.
pussy still clenching.
breath shared.
and toji—still absolutely, totally, unapologetically pussy drunk.
he was the one who moved first—finally—because your legs were still draped over his shoulders, bent and trembling and sore, your knees threatening mutiny with every second they stayed folded in that brutal, gorgeous stretch. you weren’t sure if the muscles were cramping or still orgasming. both, maybe. but toji moved slow, reverent almost, hands sliding down your thighs like he wasn’t ready to let them go, like he wanted to memorize them before he let them fall.
“’m puttin’ your legs down,” he murmured, voice thick and gravel-dragged from groaning, still drunk with it, still halfway buried in that distant fucked-out haze that lived behind his eyes now. “you did so good for me. fuckin’ took it like a champ.”
you whimpered when your legs were finally lowered, a dull ache blooming in your hips, your thighs still twitching, your calves sticky and limp against his sides. you were panting again. dizzy. your cunt throbbed around him when the angle changed, his cock shifting just slightly inside you and hitting something new, some bruised-up spot that sent a fresh wave of aftershock through your spine.
toji groaned softly, and his hand immediately came to your waist, like his body was instinctively trying to soothe you. “easy, baby,” he whispered, palm sliding up and down your side. “fuck—I’ll make it up to you. swear it.”
you blinked, dazed. “…make what up?”
he snorted, pulling back just enough to brush his forehead against yours again, still so close you could feel every word against your mouth.
“comin’ first,” he said. “you deserved another round before I fucking lost it. that pussy’s too good—I got greedy. ‘m not usually like that.” you smiled, breathless, your fingers brushing the sweat-soaked collar of his shirt. “what are you gonna do, hmm? kiss it better?”
toji’s mouth curled at the edge, that cocky little smirk returning but softened now—sweetened, in the worst, most unfair way. “yeah,” he said. “kiss it. lick it. spread you open and make you come with my fuckin’ tongue till you forget what year it is.”
you made a choked little sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob, your brain too fogged up to handle that promise.
but he kept talking—of course he did. because he was still in it, still gone, still wrecked and clinging to the only thing in the world that made sense to him now: you. “nine years,” he murmured, voice lower now, less teasing. Real. “nine years with no pussy. not even a drunk one-night stand. not even fuckin’ myself half the time.”
you blinked, still catching your breath.
“jesus,” you whispered.
he nodded once, breathing hard. “but the first one I get… after all that time… is you.” he paused. looked at you. really looked. “and if I could do it all over again—go nine years with nothin’—just to feel this pussy for the first time again?”
he kissed you.
not deep. not greedy.
just a soft press of spit-slick, swollen lips to your mouth.
“i’d fucking do it.”
you stared at him, wide-eyed.
and then snorted.
because your brain couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or feral.
“you are so pussy drunk right now,” you said, laughing into his mouth. “like… you’ve got the symptoms. glazed-over stare, can’t finish a sentence without saying ‘this pussy’ like it’s a holy relic—”
“shut up,” he grinned, nose brushing yours.
“you’re gonna start writing poetry,” you said. “i can see it. ‘ode to my girl’s pussy, it cured my chronic pain and made me believe in god again—’”
he growled low in his throat, a filthy little sound that vibrated through your chest as he shifted inside you, cock still thick and hard and present, buried to the base and making you feel every twitch of his frustration.
“keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna fuckin’ prove it,” he said. “gonna eat you out till you apologize to your pussy for disrespecting her in front of me.” you gasped, breath catching, clenching around him in instinctive anticipation.
he felt it. and smirked.
“there she is,” he murmured, rolling his hips slowly, pressing his forehead to yours again, eyes fluttering shut like he was worshipping the moment. “sweet, tight little thing. even after I filled her up, she’s still clingin’ to me like she wants more.”
you moaned, body arching weakly, still so oversensitive, and yet—
“maybe she does.”
toji’s eyes opened again, and they were darker now, brighter, something burning deep inside them that hadn’t gone out yet.
“you better not be teasing me,” he said softly.
you bit your lip. hard.
and whispered, “then make me sorry.”
and he smiled. slow. wide. unhinged.
“you’re about to be.”
the air inside the stall was dense, humid, too heavy with sex and sweat and that lazy, humming afterglow that only came when both your bodies had been used—worshipped and wrecked in equal measure. your pulse was still erratic, your breath catching on every inhale like your lungs hadn’t figured out how to restart. toji hadn’t moved much since the last thrust, still deep inside you, cock thick and heavy and leaking, his weight pressing you gently into the wall like he didn’t want to let you go just yet. the scent of him was everywhere—on your neck, in your mouth, between your legs—and you could still taste the sound of his voice in your ears, rasping mine like it was something he meant to tattoo into your bones.
eventually, though, he shifted—reluctantly—lifting his forehead from yours, eyes flicking down your body with a reverence that was almost comical given the mess between your legs. he sighed, deep and low, like a man about to walk away from his favorite crime scene.
“alright,” he muttered, finally easing his hands to your hips and taking a single step back, gently slipping out of you with a lewd, wet sound that made both of you twitch. “moment of truth. you still got legs?”
you blinked at him, dazed, and then wobbled as your feet touched the floor, knees buckling under you like a baby deer just born into a post-orgasm world.
you stumbled directly into his chest with a soft little squeak, your palms catching the damp heat of his skin through his shirt, breathless and already flushed again. toji laughed—really laughed this time, head tipping back, teeth showing, full and rich and dangerous in the way only a man freshly pussy-drunk could be.
“fuckin’ hell,” he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you upright, “you nearly took us both out, sweetheart.” you buried your face in his shirt for a second, too embarrassed and too exhausted to do anything but exist. “it’s your fault,” you muttered into the fabric. “you fucked the sense outta me.”
he kissed the side of your head, then leaned you back just slightly and pressed your back to the grimy stall door, holding you there with a hand on your waist while he reached for himself, guiding his cock back into his boxers with a practiced roll of his wrist and a satisfied grunt.
“can’t lie,” he said while zipping up, “she didn’t wanna let me go. took a fuckin’ minute just to get out.”
you gave him a look, somewhere between exhausted and scolding, but the twitch in your lip betrayed the way your thighs clenched again at his voice. he just smirked and hooked his belt back into place, slow and casual like he hadn’t just been balls-deep in you a minute ago.
then he crouched down to grab your shirt from the floor—rumpled, half-dried with sweat, glitter, and maybe a little bit of toji’s spit—and shook it out once before straightening up again, holding it like a gentleman with a gift.
“c’mon, arms up,” he murmured, voice suddenly softer again.
you obeyed without thinking, letting him help you dress like your brain had short-circuited, like you’d handed him the keys to your limbs and were trusting him not to drive you off a cliff. he slid the shirt over your head with practiced ease, tugged it gently down your arms, and just when you thought he was done—when his hands slid past your ribs and down your sides like he was adjusting it—
he bent down and sucked your nipple into his mouth.
you gasped, stumbling back against the door, breath catching in your throat as the sudden wet heat of his tongue flicked over the piercing again, lips wrapping around the cool metal and tugging just slightly.
“toji—”
he groaned low in his chest, then released it with a wet pop, lips brushing over the sensitive skin of your breast before finally tugging your shirt down into place with both hands.
“couldn’t help it,” he said, eyes wicked but half-lidded, dragging over you like a man who already wanted to go back in. “they’re too pretty not to taste again.” you didn’t respond—couldn’t. your brain had short-circuited again, reduced to white noise and heartbeat.
he fixed your hair next. carefully, absurdly gently, fingers brushing back stray strands from your face, pushing it behind your ears like he hadn’t just had you folded in half thirty seconds ago. then he loomed over you, big and warm and grinning like the devil who knew you’d come if he asked again.
“you wanna come back to my place?” he asked, voice low and smooth now. “give your legs a real break. i’ll apologize to your pussy proper for comin’ first. i got a mouth and a lot of guilt.” you let out a weak laugh—giddy and limp and already leaning forward like you might melt if he kissed you again.
“what, you’re feeling guilty now?”
“i’m tryin’ to be a gentleman,” he said, mock-serious. “not every day i meet someone who makes me forget my name and the year.” you raised an eyebrow. “that’s the bar?” he leaned in close again, mouth hovering just beside your ear, breath warm and so fucking good. “no, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice like a knife made of velvet. “you’re the bar now.”
you shivered.
he pulled back just enough to smile again, then glanced toward the door.
“you wanna text your friends? let ‘em know you’re leavin’ with a total stranger?”
“they’ve got my bag,” you said, still dazed, still trying to remember what reality felt like. “they’ll figure it out.”
he stared at you for a second.
then grinned.
“god damn,” he muttered. “you’re perfect.”
and then—toji fushiguro, pussy-drunk, sweat-drenched, still twitching in his jeans with the memory of your cunt—opened the stall door, it creaked open like it, too, had been through something shameful and held it for you, like a man escorting a queen out of her ruined cathedral. the hallway air hit you—cooler, thinner, laced with basslines and spilled drinks and someone screaming off-key to early 2000s pop—and you stepped into it like a newborn deer in heels, thighs slick, hair a little fucked, your shirt tugged low over your hips to hide the fact that your panties were somewhere between ruined and irrelevant.
toji stood beside you, towering and casual, like he hadn’t just rearranged your insides and kissed your nipple before helping you get dressed. his belt was buckled, his shirt clinging damply to his chest, collar pulled slightly off-center from your earlier tugging. his neck was flushed, jaw stubbled, and there were still fresh bite marks trailing along the line of his throat—yours. ownership drawn in tooth and heat.
your heart jumped sideways in your chest. your knees tried to wobble again.
and he felt it.
“there she goes,” he teased, his mouth brushing your temple now, his voice still dipped in that slow-dripping, pussy-drunk molasses tone that made your stomach twist in the most incredible way. “thought I fucked the wobble outta your legs already. guess I gotta go harder next time.”
“if you go harder, I’ll die,” you replied, still grinning, voice raw but teasing, biting down the ridiculous urge to giggle like a schoolgirl on prom night.
toji pulled you closer. you barely reached the height of his shoulder like this, his arm heavy and protective and possessive across your back, his hand idly tracing lazy circles on your side as you walked with him—slow, casual, like he wasn’t still inside you in spirit.
“what a way to go,” he murmured. “split open, stuffed full’a cum, legs over my shoulders while you cry on my cock. shit, if there’s a better death I don’t know it.”
you snorted. “you’re awful.”
“and you’re gorgeous,” he shot back, leaning down to kiss just behind your ear, sending another aftershock rolling through your already wrecked nerves. “tightest pussy I ever felt, baby. no contest. softest moans, sweetest little body—like you were built to break.”
your cheeks burned. your cunt clenched. again.
“you’re obsessed,” you whispered, playful and shaky, tipping your head back to look up at him. “pussy-drunk old man.”
he grinned at that—wide and unrepentant, all teeth and mischief and post-fuck swagger. “damn right. I’ve been starving for nine fuckin’ years and someone just fed me filet mignon soaked in honey. you think I’m gonna be normal after this?”
you laughed, biting your lip, feeling the slow drag of slick between your thighs every time you moved.
he was still talking.
still praising you.
like your pussy had rewired his brain.
“you don’t get it,” he murmured, pressing his mouth to your temple again. “you ruined me. no way I’m goin’ back to jerkin’ off like some lonely divorced fuck with ESPN in the background. I’m gonna be thinkin’ about you next time I close my eyes. about the way you opened up for me. about how you looked when you cried on my cock.”
you whimpered.
out loud.
right there in the hallway.
and toji just chuckled, kissed the corner of your mouth, then pulled you tighter under his arm like he wanted to wear you. “c’mon,” he whispered against your cheek, “let’s get the fuck outta here before I get hard again and we wind up in the janitor’s closet.”
you glanced sideways at him, lips curled up in that smug, fucked-out smirk you couldn’t seem to wipe off your face, and said softly, under your breath—
“may your soul rest in peace.”
he didn’t miss a beat.
“amen,” he muttered with a low snort, before slipping his thick, warm arm around your back, hand resting just above the curve of your ass like he belonged there, like he wanted everyone in this hallway to know that he’d just had you up against a stall door with your legs on his shoulders, crying out his name.
then, like the audacious bastard he was, he leaned in and kissed your cheek. not quick. not pecked. pressed—lingering, hot, lips slightly open, the kind of kiss that said this isn’t over, that said you’re mine now, that said you’re not getting out of my bed without a limp and at least two orgasms on your record.
SUM. racing against one of tokyo’s most renowned underground racers, suguru geto. the stakes? a night with him.
CONTAINS. 5.6k words. mature content, MDNI. non canon compliant/au. x fem! reader. unsafe driving (that i do not condone 🤨). smut. unprotected p in v. car sex. smidge of boob play. tongue piercing geto. cunnilingus. fingering. riding. slapping (m receiving). pet names (pretty girl, baby, etc.) some aftercare.
you heard him before you saw him.
the overplayed spotify playlist (composed of majorly lucki and carti because what else could you really expect?) blaring off someone’s bose speaker wasn’t enough to tune out the telltale roar of geto suguru’s skyline r34, paired with headlights that nearly made you see the pearly white gates when he pulled up to the lot.
and because one couldn’t be seen without the other, gojo satoru’s aventador svj wasn’t left too far behind. he parked next to geto, the two cars contrasting one another like ying and yang. while geto’s skyline was wrapped in all black matte paint with white detailing and dark purple rims, gojo had opted for all white and cerulean detailing.
conversations continued like normal, the truck skidding tires and doing donuts in the middle of the lot continued, and yet their presence was ever prominent. a couple were discreet; giving them a side eye glance before whispering back to their friends while a couple others were more direct. coming up to them and striking up conversation.
"so, i'm trying to figure out how to get past 180 horsepower, and..." the rest became a warbled mess, suguru nodding along like he hadn't mentally checked out of the conversation from the moment the guy opened his mouth.
suguru looked around the lot before noticing you standing off to the side. the guy somehow managed to get the clue that suguru wasn’t listening to him anymore, following his gaze before letting out a groan. “don’t even bother. she smoked my ass last week.”
that only made him want to bother even more.
“you’re gonna wanna do some ecu tuning if you don’t wanna spend so much money getting a whole new engine,” suguru suggested, bringing the conversation back to what it was before you noticed the two of them staring like creeps. “you can do some cheap mods like a better air filter or a turbo too.”
the guy’s eyes sparkled up like suguru was speaking out of a religious book, pulling his phone to type out his word exactly. “thanks man.” he gave suguru a bow before retreating, leaving off to who knows where. he turned to look back over at you, watching you scroll through your phone.
“you’re not being sleek, suguruu,” gojo spoke up in a sing-song tone next to him, resting his chin on his shoulder. what a fucking pointy chin.
suguru reluctantly looked away from you to look over at satoru, raising a brow and ready to deny, “i have zero idea what you’re referring to.”
satoru let out a loud groan, right next to his ear and attracting a group of people passing by. getting a few questioning stares in response before he so non discreetly gestured over to where you were standing. looking like you wanted to be anywhere but here. “you’ve been staring at her for like, five minutes now, you’re so obsessed.”
suguru swore the man could’ve had six eyes with the way he picked up on nearly everything. he pushed his head off his shoulder, turning around to face gojo. “one,” he raised his finger for effect, “it hasn’t been nearly five minutes. two, i’m not obsessed. merely… intrigued.”
it sounded like bullshit even to his own ears.
gojo pointed him with a single unimpressed look. “yeah, yeah, go talk to the love of your life,” before suguru got a chance to protest any further, he pushed him off the car and in your direction.
suguru stumbled forward, turning to give gojo the dirtiest fucking glare he could muster before noticing the white haired freak had already gone to bother someone else. the worst you could say was no, right? he swallowed dryly, making his way over to where you were parked. at a distance from everyone else.
trying to avoid exactly what he was about to do just now.
“nice car.” suguru motioned over to your bright, shiny purple 2000 mitsubishi gts, leaning against it all too comfortably. as soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to facepalm immediately—he sounded just like every other dick at the meet.
and well, you, on the other hand, you actually found it kind of nice. he didn’t try to automatically assume the car was a boyfriend’s, that you had no idea of where the gas tank even was.
“thanks.” god, the look of sheer awkwardness on your face nearly made him ask you to run him over.
and despite that embarrassment gnawing deep in his mind, suguru continued. “this doesn’t really look like your scene,” he remarked, looking around at the lot. it resembled a high school cafeteria in a sense—everyone finding comfort in their own clique. well, everyone except for you apparently.
“it’s not,” you were quick to answer, nudging him off your car before leaning against it yourself.
“so why bother coming then?”
you gestured over to where your friend was standing next to ryomen sukuna, leaning against his hellcat where they were making up or arguing? you couldn’t really tell anymore with the two. “apparently it’s a waste of money to modify a car if you’re not bringing it out to meets.”
suguru shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. and you had to force yourself to look away, not wanting to ogle just how well his muscles strained against the leather of his jacket. “if you like it, it’s not a waste.”
you gave a small shrug of your own, seemingly happy with letting the conversation die out here and now. suguru, get out of there. is this how the people who came up to him felt?
“what kind of mods have you done?” again, suguru sounded like every dick at the meet. but he was pulling at scraps, trying to see what would get you to open up a bit.
just enough to continue a conversation with. why he needed to talk to you so bad, you weren’t sure.
“you asking to inflate your ego or out of curiosity?” you questioned, looking over at him with thinly veiled annoyance.
now that made suguru crack a barely there smile. at least he was starting to get more than two word answers. “curiosity.”
“you’re asking me that like you haven’t modded the shit out your own car.”
he leaned forward, meeting your gaze. neither of you broke eye contact. “and i don’t want to talk about my car. i’m asking about yours, pretty girl.”
a scoff left your lips, “what kind of self absorbed asshole doesn’t wanna talk about their car at these things?”
“this self absorbed asshole.”
“self aware too, how humble,” you muttered, letting out a quiet sigh before starting to get into what mods you’d worked on. from cosmetic: the paint, the rear wing, and the carbon hood to mechanical: a v8 engine that cost you nearly three months worth of savings (excluding the install) and a supercharger.
suguru’s attention didn’t falter once while you were talking, occasionally nodding along. it was the most animated he’d seen you throughout the night. he figured it wouldn’t hurt his luck to ask one more question, “so how’d you get into doing car mods, anyways?”
“my dad’s a mechanic. he worked on his own cars for a while, fixing them up and stuff to sell. but as corny as it is, i guess, i started getting involved after watching the fast and furious movies,” you explained, looking over at suguru, “how about you?”
now you were asking about him? he had this in the bag, for sure. he answered your question, talking about how he’d gotten inspired by some of the movies as well. it was surprisingly.. not the worst conversation you’d ever had. he was easy to talk to, great at listening and remembering.
and then he remembered what the guy said earlier. “race with me.” a simple suggestion, like he was asking you to go on a walk to the park with him.
“what’s the catch?”
suguru clicked his tongue, pressing a hand over the left side of his chest as if you’d made it your personal mission to wound him, “can’t a guy just ask for a friendly race without having any ulterior motives?”
you raised a brow, giving him an unimpressed look.
he folded in .2 seconds. “okay, okay, fine.”
suguru simply hummed, pretending to think. like he hadn’t been planning this for the last half hour. “if i win, i’d like to have you for the night, pretty girl.”
“what?” an incredulous scoff left your lips, your face doing absolutely nothing to hide your disbelief. you were half expecting to hear you had to drop a semester’s worth of cash in one night.
suguru had become notorious for scamming finessing thousands upon thousands (mostly to pay off his ever growing pile of speeding tickets) from other guys at the meet.
specifically those guys. those guys that yapped on and on about the importance of horsepower and maximum velocity like they weren’t driving a stock car. the ones overcompensating for a lack of personality.
he did have some semblance of morals, you know.
“i said that if i win,” suguru tilted his head down to whisper in your ear like it was a highly coveted secret, a shiver running down your spine from just how close he was, “i’d like for you to spend the night with me.”
you turned your head away, refusing to let him see just how much he affected you, “and what about if i win?”
suguru simply pulled back, an amused smile on his face that had his eyes crinkling at the edges, “name whatever you want in exchange.”
you didn’t feel a sense of mockery when he spoke those words—and yet it almost seemed like he wasn’t threatened by that possibility at all.
“when i win…” maybe you should’ve thought this out a bit further. you looked around, trying to see just what you could get in exchange before zeroing in on—“your jacket. when i win, i get your jacket.”
“it’s a bet.” suguru didn’t even show an ounce of hesitation when he agreed, extending his hand out. despite having your own share of doubts, you extended your hand out a couple seconds to shake his.
you definitely did not pay attention to how that handshake seemed to last a couple more moments than was necessary.
the conditions weren’t that bad you supposed. if you beat him—you got his prized ferrari jacket and to hold it over his head. and well, if you lost, maybe at least you’d get a good orgasm out of it. maybe.
“we’ll take the backroads since cops usually don’t lurk around at this hour. three laps?” you agreed to his suggestion, walking over to where your car was parked.
adrenaline coursed through your body and the race hadn’t even begun—your fingers twitching as you twisted the key into the ignition. deep breath in, deep breath out. not like it was the first race you’d done.
gojo strutted around the two of you like was one of the women announcing a wwe match, dramatically raising a checkered flag over his head, “on your marks! three, two…”
you turned to look over at suguru , barely making him out through the dark. he’d been easygoing and relaxed when he first agreed to this, but he looked more serious than you’d seen him throughout the night. his right hand gripped on the stick, his foot ready to go from break to gas.
“on- ah! not yet,” gojo prolonged it even further, keeping the flag up above his head. groans escaped from the people standing next to him, glaring over at his way.
“start the race already, dumbass!”
“c’mon, we don’t have all day!”
gojo gave them a groan in response, rolling his eyes. (which could very well serve as street lights on their own if these were to go out) “god forbid a man try to create suspense, fine!”
“… one, go!” he brought the flag down, indicating that the race had begun.
both engines roared to life as the two of you pulled off the makeshift starting point, the screech of tires rubbing against asphalt muffling any other noises from the sides. street lights blended together into a kaleidoscope of colors, each passing you through in a blur.
the cheers from the sidelines became background noise, your focus solely on the speedometer that couldn’t seem to go up fast enough. 60… 80…. 100… 150. and then came a sharp turn. forcing you to slow down.
suguru recovered faster than you did, speeding past you. deep breath in, deep breath out. you knew these streets, the familiar scent of rubber burning with each race, the rush of adrenaline—it was nothing foreign. you sped up, going from 45 to 70 in two seconds, catching up to him.
you nudged past suguru just the quarter of an inch, barely noticeable to anybody but you two. he moved past, more than just half an inch. it was a slow dance, speeding past one another before the other took the lead.
the first lap was over in 2:34:09 minutes, the two of you crossing over the line at nearly the same time.
the second lap was over in 2:34:06 minutes, neither of you letting up on your spot. if anything, you pushed your foot harder on the gas like it’d make the car go faster.
and just when you saw the familiar checkerboard flag waving up in the air, suguru pulled up next to you. you could win, you could practically feel the sense of victory reverberating through your veins.
and just as quick as the feeling came, it vanished.
in a final surge of speed, suguru floored the gas, leaving you in the proverbial dust. you tried—you really did try to catch up, keeping a steady foot on the gas and your grip on the steering wheel tight.
a cloud of smoke exuded from the gtr’s muffler covered your windshield for just a couple seconds as he passed you, the couple seconds that he needed to gain a leg up on you.
you drove past the finish mark at 2:34:15 minutes.
“suguru, my man, that might be your best time!”
“oh my god, you were going sooo fast!”
multiple people were talking over one another, just dying to know what recent mods he’d done to his car, and yet suguru could only look at you. watch as you made your way through the crowd before stepping right in front of him (conveniently ignoring the scowl a girl was sending your way.)
“congrats, you did pretty good with the turns,” you spoke up, extending your hand out. suguru wondered how badly that’d wounded your pride. he cleared his throat, shaking your hand.
he cut off the conversation about whether or not he’d be willing to race a cybertruck, unwilling to plague his mind with the image of that monstrosity. it was already bad enough seeing the occasional one around on the narrow roads for ‘display.’
suguru didn’t say anything, simply getting off his car and pushing his hands into his pocket. he heard footsteps behind him before they halted, the person seemingly changing their mind. good.
he stepped in front of you just the same way you’d done just a few seconds back. “i’ll see you later tonight, yeah?”
“if your adoring fans let you take a break to see lil ol’ me, sure,” you responded, driving back to the lot. leaving him to get eaten by the sharks.
✩ ✩ ✩
you wondered just how suspicious it would look if you were to disappear right now. no one would notice. probably. even your friend had left for the night, continuing to make up with sukuna if you had to guess.
a clean leave. you turned to get in your car before you heard, “you goin’ somewhere?”
a great escape worthy of rivaling dantès' prison break (ie. getting in your car and driving off the lot with the hope that nobody notices) fumbled before it even began.
you turned to look back at suguru, letting out a nervous laugh. he was not convinced. “psshhh, what? no, of course not, i was just getting my phone,” you shrugged him off, shutting the car door.
“the same phone that’s in your hand?”
you rubbed the back of your neck, you weren’t even sure why you were still trying to continue. “oh, that’s where it went.”
suguru let out a quiet hum, folding his arms. “you don’t have to spend the night with me if you don’t want to, y’know. you could chicken out of the bet.”
you both knew you weren’t going to do that. which is exactly how you found yourself in the backseat of suguru’s prized gtr. in an abandoned side of the lot, where not a single soul wandered about.
“you just go around asking people if they wanna race in exchange for a night with you?” you questioned, fiddling with the end of your skirt.
“should i have just tried to ask you on a date?” he responded, letting out a dramatic sigh, “and here i thought i was being swoon-worthy.”
you rolled your eyes. “what would a date consist of with you, anyways?”
“the pinnacle of modern romance, of course,” suguru responded, reaching over the center console to grab the aux cord before handing it over to you with a cheeky smile on his face, “boba and a view.”
you took the aux cord, blinking slowly before daring to ask, “you’re serious?” you wondered just how much of a chicken you would look like if you jumped out of his car right now.
suguru looked at you through the corner of his eye, a quiet laugh bubbling from his chest, “nah, i’m not that much of a slut.”
“you say that like you didn’t just make a bet to have me for one night,” you countered, giving him a pointed look.
“i never said what the night would consist of. for all you know, i could’ve invited you to read car manuals of all things.”
“did you?”
absolutely not. suguru’s throat bobbed. you were too close. even if the backseat wasn’t that big, it was still spacious enough. and you’d chosen to sit right next to him, your thigh pressed against his. he could feel every single shift and movement and it was absolutely killing him.
his fingers twitched against his sides, gaze locked onto your lips and the ungodly way they shimmered. like an invitation. how badly he wanted to taste you, have the taste of you lingering on his tongue and engraved into his brain. you leaned in, “you can kiss me.”
suguru pulled back before you got the chance to get too close, leaving you dazed and confused. no way you’d been reading that wrong all along. you blinked slowly before whispering, “did i do something wrong?”
“no! no, nothing like that,” he shook his head quickly, reaching out to take your hands in his own. you could see the gears whirring in his head—see just how much he was struggling to articulate his point. “i know we agreed on you spending a night with me. but i’m not going to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“i know you convinced yourself i was trying to leave earlier—” suguru only rolled his eyes, “—but i wouldn’t have agreed to the bet if i didn’t want anything to do with you.”
“so why did you try to leave?”
you buried your head in hands, letting out a groan. “because i got embarrassed. there was a crowd listening in when i was acting all cocky before the race.”
suguru reached over, gently prying your hands off your face. “they probably forgot it five minutes later. plus, you’re one of the more talented drivers i’ve seen.”
“you mean that?”
“yeah, of c-mmph, fuck—” you shut him up, pressing your lips against his. the kiss nearly made his brain short circuit. your lips were soft and tentative, testing out the waters, hands cupping his cheeks.
he hoisted you up onto his lap, his hands resting on your ass immediately and cock twitching underneath you. tenting in his pants, straining against the material. “you’re this hard already?” you asked innocently, running the tip of your nail down his shaft. like you weren’t dripping in your panties, the lace material sticking to your folds.
“so if i were to move my hand up—” he mused, relishing in the soft gasp you let out, “—i wouldn’t find you soaked?” his fingers trailed upwards slowly, pushing your skirt out of the way. you spread your legs apart just as he was getting closer to your pussy, but he completely pulled away.
“not yet, wanna enjoy this.” every movement was slow—like he was really taking the time to relish in this win.
suguru buried his head into the crook of your neck, immediately intoxicated with everything that smelt like you. from your body lotion to your perfume, he was practically high off it. a high that he didn’t even know if he wanted to come down from.
he nipped the side of your neck, kissing his way down. “you’re so pretty, taste so good,” he rambled breathlessly, latching his lips onto whatever inch of skin he could reach. he moved down to your exposed collarbone, sucking and biting onto the sensitive skin.
suguru looked too relaxed—leaning back against the leather while he let his gaze travel down your body. slowly, wanting to imprint every inch to memory, from the mole on your breast all the way to how you felt underneath his fingertips. “so beautiful,” he whispered, a quiet admission that almost seemed like it wasn’t meant to be uttered out loud.
he reached out, tracing the tip of his finger from your navel all the way to your pretty lace bra, following the pattern on the hem. tracing the tip of his fingers against your stiff nubs, rubbing and pinching through the material.
dexterous fingers reached behind you, unclasping the multiple hooks of your bra with relative ease. the flimsy material slid down from your shoulders to your elbows slowly before you shrugged it off completely, watching suguru’s eyes follow your bra falling on the car floor before coming back up to your tits.
he slipped the leather jacket off his body, slipping it over his shoulders. the scent of his cologne—a mix of sandalwood and amber immediately hitting your nose. “you’re giving me your jacket?”
“yeah, consider it a pity present. for being the loser and all,” suguru replied with a laugh, letting out a small ‘ow’ when you smacked the side of his arm.
“asshole.”
“so, you don’t want the ferrari jacket, is that right?”
you fought back a smile, “i guess i can take it.”
his lips trailed down from your collarbone down your body, his fingers still gripping onto your ass. peck. peck. peck. “good, it looks better on you than me,” he mumbled, suctioning and biting down into the valley of your tits. leaving behind a little mark that only you two would see.
his tongue swirled around your areola, his other hand cupping your breast while his fingers twisted and toyed with the other one. giving each his undivided attention. “o-oh fuck,” breathless gasps left your lips, your back arching against him. practically engulfing him in your tits. no complaints here.
“lay on your stomach for me,” he spoke up once he managed to find the willpower to let go of your tits.
it was a tight stretch but the two of you managed to maneuver your way around. or more so, he decided to leave you the back seat while he sat outside. his hands spread out of your thighs, and without even looking at him, you could feel his stare boring into your cunt.
suguru was quick in taking off your skirt, before remembering he was supposed to be relishing in this. his fingers hooked around the waistband of your thong, sliding it down inch by inch. moving at the speed of molasses. and when he was finished, you could’ve sworn lace being shoved into his pocket.
“you’re just gonna stare?”
“i’m appreciating my meal, hold on.”
after what seemed to be an eternity (five seconds), suguru finally leaned in. his lips pressed against the back of your thighs, kissing his way up to where you were leaking for him. he rubbed his pointer and middle against your folds, watching your slick glisten off them before deciding to feast.
suguru swiped his tongue up and up your slick folds up until he reached your clit, the warm metal ball of his piercing rolling around the throbbing bud. “o-ohh, fuck!” you let out a moan, digging into the leather seats and pushing your hips back against him.
and suguru, well suguru, couldn’t really give a shit about his leather. he spat onto your cunt, watching how you clenched around nothing, before smearing all over with his tongue. swiping his tongue back and forth, dipping the tip into your hole. “best prize ever, so good,” he groaned just as loudly as you were.
he slurped every single drop that your cunt had to give like it was something divine, moaning and rutting his hips into the air. he swiped his tongue like a credit card, moving his head back and forth, before latching his lips onto your swollen clit. sucking on it before letting the ball of his piercing roll around figure eights.
“d-don’t stop, fuck!” between your pussy and your moans, suguru was in paradise. your nails dug even further, leaving behind crescent shaped imprints on the seats. a small price to pay.
“how about you get these all nice and wet f’me, baby, please,” he leaned forward and pressed two fingers against your mouth. you wrapped your lips around the digits, sucking and swirling your tongue down to the knuckle. slobbering over the expensive rings adorning his fingers.
“ah fuck, just like that.” you looked up to meet his hungry gaze before releasing his fingers with a loud pop.
his fingers pushed inside, moving in a scissoring motion to spread you wider and wider. your walls clenched around his fingers, leaving them covered in a mix of your slick and your spit.
“get ‘er nice and open, just like that,” suguru mumbled, too drunk off the taste of you to try to make too sense. his mouth returned to its rightful place—your clit, where he started to roll his tongue again. suck. spit.
he added in a finger, curling them to hit that spongy spot inside of you. “so close, so close,” you whined like a broken record.
“cum for me, i got you, i got you ma,” he babbled against your clit, each vibration going up your spine like livewire. the tip of his tongue traced figures, letters, shapes onto your clit, treating it like his own whiteboard.
“f-fuck!” you threw your head back, letting out the loudest moan he’d heard so far before your release washed over you. coating over his fingers and his chin, leaving him completely soaked. and suguru still wasn’t satisfied.
“w-wait, ‘m sensiti- mm shit!” a moan ripped out from your throat when he went back for seconds, his tongue prodding into your cunt to taste every drop. to absorb as much of you as could, as much as you had left to give.
suguru pulled back once he’d gotten his fill, wiping his glistening mouth with the back of his hand. he shed off his clothes like a second skin, quickly kicking his pants off before getting situated in the car seat.
you got on top of him, wrapping your fingers around his cock before slowly starting to jerk your wrist. up and down, rubbing your thumb across the slit and smearing precum all over his reddened tip. “sooo good.” suguru bucked his hips into your hand, head thrown backwards.
taking that opportunity like a golden ticket, you leaned in to kiss down his neck just the same way he had. you felt him shiver underneath your touch, his hips moving erratically against your hand. “you don’t get to cum yet,” you whispered, pulling your hand away much to his dismay.
but he supposed he couldn’t complain too much.
you took hold of his shaft, aligning it with your slit before slowly starting to move down. “o-oh oh shit,” your lips parted into a ‘o’ shape, forehead pressed against his as you sunk down. his own lips were parted, shaky breaths exchanged between the two of you.
“f-fuck, there you go, that’s it,” suguru sucked in a harsh breath, chest heaving. and yet, that didn’t matter. he was too entranced by the way your pussy dripped over his cock, the way your walls stretched around him to mold to his shape perfectly. “use me, use my cock, it’s all yours, baby.”
you hadn’t even moved and he sworn he could’ve fallen in love with you and your cunt right there and then.
“all mine, huh?” your voice shook, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders where your nails dug into his skin in the most painstakingly pleasurable way imaginable. you started to move—inch by inch, you could feel the stretch as you tried to get accommodated.
“mhm, all yours,” suguru confirmed, leaning in and licking the warm drops rolling down your cheeks. you hadn’t realized when you started tearing up. his mouth was on yours in a span of seconds—no longer taking his time. no, this time, it was all a mixture of teeth and tongue.
like you’d disappear at any given moment.
your hips started gyrating and undulating down his cock, dripping over his thighs and onto the leather seats. “tryna kill me already, shiit, don’t stop,” suguru panted, digging his fingers into the fat of your ass. something to keep him grounded.
and somehow that just opened the watergates for him to keep babbling. completely pussydrunk babbles. “just like that, fuck, keep going,” suguru moaned unabashedly against your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself on him. his hips rutted against you, matching the rhythm you set for yourself.
“s-sugu, you’re so big,” you whined out, practically feeling the man in your throat with each punishing thrust. his thighs clapped against your ass, your cunt squelched like you were a running faucet.
“y’know, maybe if you rode this fast, you would’ve beat me, pretty girl.” maybe he’d gotten a bit too cocky.
*SLAP*
your eyes widened in disbelief, either from the fact that you’d slapped him in the first place or that he’d moaned. you weren’t sure yet. a breathless laugh left his lips, his hips pummeling into your pussy like she owed him money. like he hadn’t nearly bust his load right then and there. “do it a little harder next time, yeah?”
“who said there’ll be a next time?” you countered in between shaky breaths, moaning out broken babbles of your own with each time his tip brushed against your g-spot.
“you’re right, you’re right,” he conceded, (despite already thinking about next time, maybe somewhere that wasn’t so crowded, maybe a date first), “so for now, you okay? you need me to do anything, baby?”
talking as if the slap had never happened in the first place.
“need your hand, sugu, please!”
“take my hand and put it where you want it, then.” you took hold of his hand, bringing it down your body down to your clit. “right here?”
“uh huh, right there, right there!” you nodded your head fervently, arching your back even further when he started to rub circles around the nub. your thighs ached. you pushed through it, bouncing and grinding down on his cock. feeling the bulbous tip almost touching your cervix the deeper he got.
“sugu, sugu,” it was the only sense of warning you could give him. you leaned forward, biting down on his shoulder to muffle your moans.
“i know, i know, give it to me.”
with that, you came harder than you did the last time. your toes curled as your orgasm washed over you, dripping and covering his shaft in your essence. suguru’s hips stuttered, barely thrusting inside in chase of his own orgasm.
your cunt clenched around his cock, milking him for every drop of cum. suguru groaned loudly, burying his head in the crook of your neck. shiver after shiver ran down his spine, cock twitching inside of you with his impending orgasm. “s-so tight, fuck!” he practically whined before ropes of cum shot inside of you.
suguru slumped back against the car seats, taking hold of your hips and gently guiding you off his cock. “here,” he whispered, taking a hold of a rag in the glovebox. he wiped off the globs of cum dripping down your twitching cunt.
he wasn’t winning aftercare of the year under these conditions, but his movements were still relatively gentle. “you’re okay?”
“i should be asking you that,” you countered, clearing your throat. and because suguru apparently kept himself prepared for every occasion, he passed over a water bottle in your direction. muttering out a quiet thanks, you began to gulp down the water.
he simply shrugged, starting to put his clothes back on. well, as best as he could while he was smushed. “i liked it. we’re good.”
finishing with getting dressed, you were about to hand him back the jacket but suguru quickly shook his head. “i told you, it looks better on you. keep it.”
you shoved your hands deep into the pockets of his jacket back when you got to your car, feeling a small slip of paper at the bottom. his number you realized—scrawled onto the sheet like he was a rush while remaining relatively neat.
maybe you’d call him again for a next time after all.
A/N. i’ve been meaning to write a street racer geto fic for a while (like a year now LOL) so i figured why not debut this acc with it ^.^
FUCK ICE, free palestine, free congo, FUCK trump, FUCK musk, no one is illegal on stolen land, and if u disagree, FUCK YOU TOO!!!
i’ve said this before but if u support that fuckass orange in office, idc if ur a silent follower or ur like is ur only form of interacting with me, just know, i don’t want it!!! and u are a terrible person!!! 😛
SUM. your birthday plans had been just to get a tattoo. so how’d you end up getting eaten out too?
CONTAINS. 5.8k words. 18+ content, MDNI. non canon compliant/alternate universe. x fem! reader. pierced/tatted geto. cunnilingus. hair pulling (m receiving). fingering. unprotected p in v. doggy. pet names (pretty girl, cutie, etc.). finger sucking. spanking (once). creampie. kinda public sex (?)
Portraits and portraits of art pieces covering the walls welcomed you as you stepped inside, the jingle of the bell perched on the front announcing your entrance.
From dragons to variations of skulls—some with roses, lightning, and a couple of the grim reaper. You could easily lose yourself looking at all the different works, staring at how all the different lines came together and how the colors melded into one another.
“What're you looking for today?" A low baritone voice interrupted your brief exploration of the parlor. You turned to see a man standing at the counter with pigtails, a black line going across his nose and a couple piercings scattered across his pale face. How was it that you'd missed him upon walking inside?
"I was thinking about getting a tattoo, do you guys happen to accept walk-ins?" You responded, coming up to the counter where the man was standing. Choso, from what his name tag read. "We do, our current tattoo artist's busy though. You mind waiting about.. twenty minutes?"
You supposed it wasn't too bad after showing up without an appointment so you just simply nodded, going over to take a seat in the lobby. There was only one other person sitting on the end of the black sofa, their attention purely on the show playing on the TV mounted on the wall. You went from playing with your fingers to looking over at the TV, attempting to do anything that would make these twenty minutes pass by.
"Hey, go ahead and fill this out. And let me see your ID," Choso came back with a sheet of paper, a consent form. You fished for your ID in the back pocket of your jeans before handing it over to him, starting out with the task of filling out the paper. Signing your initials where it asked you to, reading through the different medical conditions that the paper explicitly listed out.
Your foot bounced against the floor as you waited, sudden nerves starting to hit you all at once now that you were in here. You knew that you wanted a tattoo, you'd been looking forward towards getting it for a few months now. But the little nagging voice inside your head told you that you could barely tolerate a needle at the doctor's office, and that was only for a couple seconds in of itself. How would you tolerate almost an hour of it?
A woman walked out from the back of the parlor, a tattoo of what seemed to be her birth year wrapped up in cling wrap. But your attention was quickly diverted to the man coming out after her—though, you supposed it would be hard not to stare at him. He was absolutely.. gorgeous. Long dark black hair that practically seemed to shine underneath the harsh lights tied back in a half bun, eyebrow and snake bites piercings accentuating the features of his face, and dark ink adorning his forearms.
"Here's the aftercare sheet, just shoot me a text or something if you have any concerns or anything," the man told the woman before she stepped away from the counter, handing her a white paper. The jingle of the bell echoed behind her as she left, leaving only the four of you alone in the lobby. Maybe this wasn't who Choso was talking about? You couldn't picture yourself or your panties for that matter lasting hours in a room with him.
Though, you probably should've expected as much with your luck.
"You got time for a walk-in?" Choso spoke up, nudging his head towards you when the other man was finished pocketing his tip. The man glanced over at you before pulling his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through it for a couple seconds. "Yeah, I got time," the other man walked over, standing in front of you before extending a hand out, "Geto Suguru." The coldness from the silver rings adorning each of his fingers was a stark difference from how warm his hand seemed to be. You gave him your name, stopping the handshake before it prolonged more than it should've.
More than it already did.
"So, what type of tattoo were you looking for?" Geto pushed his hands in his pockets, standing back to allow for you to get up from the spot. "I'm not too sure how to describe it, but I have a reference photo, if that's okay?" You told him, getting your phone out to go back to your camera roll. "Yeah, that's fine. Just airdrop to me when you find it."
The smell of antibacterial spray filled your nose as you stepped in, the room somehow been more decorated than the one outside. Geto had a couple of his designs up on the wall along with a couple band posters—Nirvana, Iron Maiden, and Led Zeppelin being some of the more prominent ones. A couple figures placed on a shelf, photos decorating them as well. "Go on and take a seat. I'll be right there," he told you, opening up one of his drawers.
You took a seat on the leather chair in the middle of the chair, leaning against it before looking over to see what he was doing. "So.. how bad is it supposed to hurt?" You decided to ask, bracing yourself for the worst answer that he could give you. Despite the fact that you knew arm tattoos weren't all that painful from the two hours of research you'd done. "I can't give you a straightforward answer since not everyone has the same pain tolerance. But I'll walk you through the process before I start."
"The first thing I'm gonna do is shave your arm," Geto started off, opening up a pack of razors in front of you. Almost like he wanted to reassure you that everything he was using was new. "Around what area do you want the tattoo?" You opened your arm, gesturing around your inner forearm. Geto shaved the hair around the middle, wiping the residue away with a tissue.
"Next thing I'm gonna do is rub some alcohol on there and put on this cream," he brought up a small container into your line of vision, "It's not numbing cream before you get any ideas. Just so the stencil sticks." The rest of the process had gone relatively fast, the smell of rubbing alcohol filling up the space between the two of you. Geto placed the stencil on your arm, looking over at you to gauge your reaction. "Is this placement okay or do you want me to change it? Don't hesitate to ask, since y'know.. it is kinda permanent."
After a couple minutes of deliberation, Suguru placed the stencil where you’d decided. "So I'm gonna go ahead and put the needle on your arm just to go ahead and see if you can tolerate it," the machine whirred to life with the press of a button, "If you don't think you can tolerate it, just let me know and I'll wipe off the stencil." Geto turned around to face you, the buzzing of the tattoo gun getting louder the closer it got to your arm. All the nerves that you'd felt earlier seemed so silly now. While you felt the pressure of the needle , it was nothing like the excruciating pain you'd heard others have.
You cleared your throat before looking back over at him again, "Yeah, I can handle it." Suguru simply nodded, uncapping the bottle of black ink before almost filling up the small container in front of him. He arranged the small containers almost perfectly aligned to each other, the small work space that he'd set in front of him looking meticulous. Even the napkin that he'd grabbed was neatly folded up in three squares.
You'd almost wished that it was Choso doing the tattoo instead. Because, this, well this simply just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair how he managed to look so goddamn pretty just doing the most menial of tasks. The almost intoxicating scent of amber from his cologne filling up your senses with how close he was. You weren't sure if was better or worse for you that he didn't notice just how affected you were, of how much his presence alone was making you want to ditch the whole idea of getting a tattoo.
"You need something to help you relax? I got a couple stress balls hanging around or I could play something on the TV if you want," Suguru sat down on the rolling chair next to you, already grabbing the TV remote next to you. "Can you just play something, please?" Geto flickered through a couple of the channels available, settling on what was on the TV mounted outside. Not particularly your first choice, but enough to get your mind off the tattoo, at least.
And to get your mind off the very attractive man next to you trying to do his job.
"So, any meaning behind this tattoo or you just decided you wanted to get it?" Suguru broke the silence, though his focus was purely on tracing the piece of work in front of him. "Just saw it on Pinterest and I related to it a bit. Well, that and the design itself seemed pretty to me," you offered, staying still and keeping your attention on the TV. "I can follow the design that you showed me or I could try to improve on it. That is, if you have trust in my abilities," he spoke up after a couple seconds, purple eyes almost seeming to bore into you.
"Can I see some of your abilities in place?" As hot as the man was—you didn't want to risk the tattoo coming out like complete dog shit. Suguru let out a short laugh, getting up from his spot before flipping through a couple drawers. He came back with a leather bound sketchbook, placing it on your lap. "I'm not much to show my works to others, but feel free to flip around if that helps you decide," you opened up the sketchbook with your available arm, immediately being greeted with a plethora of colors.
Not only were the pieces themselves better than what you could've expected, but they were so realistic. The shading of each drawing accentuating it perfectly against the lighting of the room, almost like he'd focused on that more than the actual drawing. You shut the sketchbook after flipping through a couple pages of different flowers, animals, and whatever else his brain could conjure up—handing it back to an expectant Geto. "It'd be wrong not to have faith in you after seeing that," you mused, watching him set the sketchbook aside before he went back to tracing.
"Don't worry, I'm still gonna follow the whole outline and shit. Just wanna make it look a little bit better is all," he responded, dipping the needle onto the container of black ink before bringing it back to your arm. You turned to look at much progress he'd done after the forty minute episode had ended only to realize he was just finishing up with the tip of the design. An incredibly detailed tip, though. "You okay? Don't want you passing out on me or anything."
"No, I'm fine," you reassured, going back to watching the TV in the comfortable silence that had built in the room. The only sounds emanating from the room were the soft whirring of the tattoo gun and the screaming of a couple characters on screen. "Have you watched this before?" You decided to break the silence after a while, turning to look over at him. "Something like that. Haven't watched much after the fourth season. Don't really have a buncha time available to watch TV."
The rest of the session had gone moderately well, the two of you sitting in silence for a majority of the time albeit for a couple questions that either he or you asked. He was, oddly enough, easy to talk to. "Okay, I'm gonna go in with a white paint. It's gonna hurt more than the other one so just tell me if it gets to be too much," he told you, pouring white paint into one of those small containers. And you felt the difference between the two, looking over to see him adding small marks with the white paint. Small marks that were starting to hurt like a motherfucker.
"Easy, you did so well for me throughout the session. This is nothing compared to that," Suguru spoke up, raising the tattoo gun to give you a small break. One of his gloved hands went to the furrow settled in your brow, gently easing it over before changing out the gloves for a fresh pair. You weren't even sure when you'd even started to grimace so badly. "Easy for you to say," you grumbled underneath your breath, certain that he wouldn't have caught it. But if the way his eyes shot up to look at you with a slightly amused smile was anything to go by, he did.
"You make it so hard to be nice to you," Geto muttered, turning the tattoo gun back on and going back to adding the fine white strokes. Maybe it'd been the fact that he'd offered that small bit of reassurance or maybe it was the fact that you could feel the session was starting to come to an end, but the pain didn't quite feel as bad as the first go. "Alright, we're all done," he spoke up after a couple minutes, turning the tattoo gun off and placing it on the table next to him.
"You mind if I get a couple pictures?" He waited for you to nod before setting up the ring light next to you, pulling his phone out. You extended your arm out to where he had the camera pointed, the tattoo on display. "Mm, hold on," Suguru muttered to himself, one of his hands wrapping around your wrist to adjust the angle. His touch almost seeming to linger more than necessary. Surely, all of this wasn't necessary just for a single photo, right? Especially when you weren't even the subject of said photo.
"You're gonna want to avoid shaving or waxing the area while it's still healing, some peeling's normal but just come to me if you have any concerns," he continued to explain the process of the aftercare involved, wrapping the tattoo up in cling wrap. "Try not to fuck it up," Geto led you over to the front desk, ringing you up for the price. "Wasn't it $120 and not $100?" You questioned, grabbing your wallet from your pocket.
"Consider it a birthday discount of sorts, pretty girl," the nickname spilled out so easily that you might've almost missed it. As if you needed more things to overthink about from this encounter. You handed him a hundred dollar bill with a ten dollar tip, giving him a short thanks before leaving the parlor. You looked over at the aftercare sheet that he'd given you at the counter, seeing his Instagram scrawled out in pretty decent penmanship. Well, at least you had plans for when you got back to your apartment tonight.
You knew that the tattoo was healing nicely—that you'd put the expensive ass ointment that Geto had recommended the designated three times a day. So why exactly did you find yourself standing outside the tattoo parlor once more? Out of concern for the new ink or just wanting to see Suguru once more? It couldn't be the latter, right? Not like you'd spent hours scrolling through his Instagram these last couple days to see what he'd thought about the tattoo. Definitely not the latter.
After all, he did say come to him if you had any concerns.
Surprisingly, it wasn't Choso to greet you at the counter this time around. Suguru was standing there, rearranging a couple pieces of body jewelry onto the glass display before he lifted his head to see who'd walked in the door. "You didn't let it get infected, did you? I spent hours on that thing," he didn't even bother with a greeting as Choso had done, already looking annoyed at the prospect. "Your concern for my health's endearing too."
"Yeah, yeah, what're you here for?"
"I just wanted to check up with you to see if the tattoo was healing nicely," the practiced lie slipped out of your tongue without any effort, plenty of rehearsals in your head allowing for it to slip out with any second thought.
"Alright, I have a couple minutes before my next appointment gets here," Suguru gestured for you to join him, opening the door for you. The space looked pretty much the same as the day you'd come in—which you should've expected, since it was only a week ago—albeit for a couple pencils scattered on top of a sketchbook in the middle of his desk. You took a seat on the leather chair, waiting for him to finish cleaning up his space.
Suguru grabbed a white box of gloves, grabbing a pair before placing them on. "So, what're you concerned about?" He questioned, long fingers running through your skin as he looked at how the tattoo was healing. "Well, it's been peeling a bit. I just wanted to know if that was normal or if I'm fucking something up somehow. I've been putting on the ointment you recommended three times a day."
Geto let out a small hum before leaning back on the rolling chair, folding his arms across his chest. His very muscular arms, the material of his black button down practically straining against them with the motion. "Your tattoo seems to healing well. Bit of peeling's normal as a new layer of skin comes in, nothing to worry about too much. Usually the area starts to get red if it's starting to get infected."
And maybe you should've taken that as a cue to leave. But you found yourself wanting to bask in whatever couple seconds that he would give you, unable to think about any other opportunities where you'd see him. Well, any other opportunities that didn't involve you spending upwards of a hundred dollars. You made no effort to move just yet, folding your hands over your lap. Trying to think of anything else to prolong this visit.
A couple moments of silence pass between the two of you before Suguru opens his mouth up to speak, only to get interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. "Yo, someone named Larue's here for their appointment," Choso called out from the other side, his foot tapping against the hardwood floor. Suguru gives you a glance before answering back, "Ask him to reschedule. Tell him that I'm sorry and I'll give him a discount or something."
Choso's heavy boots echoed against the floor as he walked away, leaving you alone with Geto once more. "So, tell me, what exactly is it that you're doing here again? And don't lie to me, talking about some 'I wanna see if my tattoo's healing properly,'" And you almost rolled your eyes at the way he raised his voice in pitch, mocking you with a short chuckle. Almost.
"First of all, I don't sound like that. Second, I really did just come to see if it was healing properly," And despite your words, you couldn't bring yourself to move from the chair just yet. "So maybe I should go tell Larue to come back for his appointment. Since we determined your tattoo's healing nicely, our time's done," You would've thought that he was bluffing but he moved to get up from his chair, walking over to the door.
"Wait," you called out before he managed to turn the doorknob, looking over to see him already staring at you with an expectant look on his face. Like he was about five seconds away from telling you to get off the leather chair. "So maybe, there's a slight chance that I didn't just come here just because I was concerned about my tattoo," you muttered almost reluctantly, avoiding looking at him directly.
"And why don't you try telling me why you came here instead?" Suguru stepped away from the door, returning to his spot in the seat next to you. Where you couldn't avoid looking at him even if you wanted to. How would you even begin telling him that he's been clouding your mind since last week just from that three hour interaction? That you've refreshed his Instagram page more times than you could count to see what he'd say about the piece?
You gulped, willing for the words to come out before he got the chance to go back to the door again. But you couldn't. Couldn't bring yourself to the potential humiliation that would inevitably come if you had just been delusional about this all along.
"You here because you want me to fuck you?" And the words that you'd struggled to spit out, he'd just said them so bluntly. You were expecting for him to look at you with that same mocking smile from earlier, but he seemed to be genuinely analyzing you. Waiting. "No, no, of course, I was just here to.." You hadn't quite rehearsed for this part in your mind.
"Because if you were, then I'd say that I was thinking about you too, cutie," and before you had the chance to respond, he was already speaking again, "So I'm just gonna ask you again. Are you here because you want me to fuck you?"
Now that there was little chance of your advances getting rejected, the word slipped out so easily, "Yes."
"Go on and lay back for me. Wanna taste you," and by how quick he was to get on his knees in front of you, you'd guess that he was doing this for his pleasure more than yours. "Lift up your hips," you followed his words without hesitation, letting him slide your jeans off and place them to the side. Large tattooed hands spread your thighs apart, presenting you like a feast to the man before you.
And you would've felt some ounce of embarrassment for the wet spot that quickly built up in the middle of your panties in just the five minutes of being here—if it weren't for the fact that Geto's cock was already straining against the material of his jeans. "Mph, fuck!" Geto quickly pulled your attention back to the issue at hand, his tongue prodding against your clothed cunt. "Not so loud, you don't want Choso to hear us," he clicked his tongue, giving you somewhat of a relief when he pulled away.
A very short lived relief. His tongue traced the outline of your slick folds through the material of your thin panties, his eyes closed. The tip of his tongue swirled against your clit, your cunt leaking out onto your underwear. You'd be lucky at this rate, if you could wear them back home. And almost like he'd read your mind, his fingers hooked in the waistband of your panties before sliding them down to your ankles.
You waited to feel his tongue on your cunt again—but nothing came. You looked over at him, watching as he just observed your weeping pussy. "Thought you were eager to taste," you muttered, a scoff leaving from his lips. A gust of wind blowing to your cunt, your walls clenching all the much more. Eager to receive whatever he could give. "Let me admire for a bit. We got enough time," Suguru let out a small tsk after, his face in front of your cunt. And before you had the chance to say anything more—his tongue was already on your labia.
Your syrupy slick dripped onto his expecting tongue, his eyes almost rolling back at the taste. The small silver ball at the end of his tongue piercing flicked against your folds with every lick, each touch serving to have you clenching around pure air. Your hips bucked up to meet his movements, his large hands holding you down in mere seconds. "What'd I say? Let me enjoy this, pretty girl. Told you we got enough time."
"Such a tease," your grumbled words came out more breathless than you would've liked. "And you're so impatient," he retorted without missing a beat. A hushed whine escaped from your lips when you felt him pull away, his mouth moving to your inner thighs. Pressing open mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin, nibbling down just hard enough for it to leave a mark behind. "Promise I'll take care of you, sweet girl. Have some trust in my abilities."
“You say that but your abilities have been less than stellar lately."
A couple dark locks fell out of place, framing his face almost perfectly. You'd almost expected Suguru to look offended at the implication of your words—but all he did was seem to find some kind of amusement. "Guess I'll have to repair that then," he murmured, more so to your cunt than to you, his tongue prodding in and out of your entrance. "You're not doing a g-Oh fuck!" He immediately made you swallow whatever retort you were planning, his tongue penetrating inside of you.
Suguru swiped his tongue up and down your cunt, the lower half of his face covered in a mixture of your slick and his own spit. Your eyes fluttered shut, the tip of his nose prodding against your clit with every swipe that he made. "Keep looking at me, pretty. Keep those pretty eyes on me," you opened your eyes to see purple eyes already looking back at you, resuming his actions all too greedily. He was so messy when it came to eating you out—spitting into your cunt, watching almost all too eagerly as you clenched around the liquid.
"Please," a whine left your lips, your fingers tugging on his hair. Whatever act of defiance you'd tried to put on earlier had quickly faded away, all you were feeling was need. An almost slutty moan left his lips at the sudden tug, one of his hands grabbing on to yours. "Come on, you can pull harder, can't you?" An even louder groan escaped his lips at the harder tug you gave this time around—the tips of your fingers digging into his scalp. "Now, what were you saying please for?" His words came out muffled, his face buried in between your legs. "Your fingers, please."
"Since you asked so nicely," Suguru took to that almost immediately, two long fingers pushing past the ring of muscle before curling to hit your g-spot. His mouth instantly attached itself to your throbbing clit, pushing through your clitoral hood to get to the bundle of nerves. "F-Fuck, don't stop, don't stop," you sounded like a broken record, your thighs pressing tightly against the sides of his face while his tongue swirled around your clit.
"Gonna cum, gonna cum," any other thought that you had apart from cumming had been quickly fucked out of you, your grip on his hair tightening even further. Not that Suguru minded by any means, moaning against your cunt with every tug. The vibrations only added to the dual stimulation, your back arching off the chair. Needing to get more. Pushing your hips against his face, bucking up to meet every swipe of his tongue. "Cum for me, princess, come on. You can do it, right?"
All you could do was nod, not wanting to be any louder than you already had been. Part of you had been surprised that Choso hadn't come by knocking earlier. Suguru continued flicking his tongue around your clit, working in synchrony with his fingers to pull your orgasm out of you. "Fuck fuck, gonna cum!" You weren't sure if your muffled moan made it's way into Suguru's ears, watching as he eagerly lapped up your release. Running his tongue across his lips, your slick making them glisten under the lights.
"Get on all fours," Suguru told you after you'd managed to regain your breath, deft fingers working to unzip his jeans. You got on your stomach, resting it against the cold leather while getting on your hands and knees. And if Choso were to come into the room to be quiet now, he'd get a spectacular view of your ass perched up in the air. Suguru ran his cock against your folds, your slick lubricating it with ease after your previous orgasm.
Ridges running down his shaft brushed up against your tight walls, your slick coating his tip like second nature the further that he pushed it in. Your walls clenched and unclenched rapidly in a futile attempt to get used to the pure stretch of his cock. "You can take it, right? This isn't anything," But the sheer girth of his cock was just enough to dispute that statement, the position making him feel much deeper than he was. "Yeah, yeah, I can take it," your voice came out as a mewl, your grip on the leather getting tighter the more he pushed his cock in.
The rhythm that he started up was fairly slow at first, allowing you to get used to the feeling. Whatever he was lacking in length, he certainly compensated for it with the sheer size of his girth. Just a couple inches inside of you and he'd already stuffed you full. "Doin' so good, gonna speed up, okay?" He waited for you to nod, retracting his cock before pushing the full length inside of you with one sharp thrust. Your mouth went agape, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head upon the impact. "So good, so so good," even after a couple thrusts, he already sounded so obsessed.
"That's ittt, that's my girl. Fuck that ass back into me," A strangled groan left his throat at the sight of your ass cheeks jiggling underneath him with every thrust, the two of you moving in tandem. One of the hands that'd been on your waist went to cup whatever he could of the flesh, all too entranced with the vision presented in front of him. "Mm, fuck!" A moan left your lips as you felt the palm of his hand strike against the flesh, your ass stinging from the impact. Not to say that you necessarily hated it, by any means.
And Suguru caught it—the way your slick ran down his shaft at the sudden impact. "Should've fucking guessed you would've liked it," his tone practically dripped in condescension as he spoke, his hand going to cup your other ass cheek. Holding the flesh in his hands before giving you another harsh slap, almost rivaling the harsh smack of his hips against your own. "Shit shit, Geto, don't stop," you whined, pushing your ass back into him. "Think it's okay for you to call me Suguru after bein’ inside you and all."
"Suck," a simple command, two of his fingers in front of your face. Your tongue swirled around his fingers, tasting the remnants of your cum on them before letting it fall flat. Simply sucking on his fingers as his cock pushed in and out of you with such fervor. "Get 'em all nice and wet for me, just like that," Suguru pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth the second you started to get too loud again, tears building up at your waterline when you gagged on them. "Aw, don't cry, cutie. Y'know I had to."
And while his words were meant to be reassuring, the mocking tone of his voice was anything but. Spit dribbled down from the corners of your mouth, dripping onto the chair beneath you. "Sugu-Sugu, fuck, right there!" He'd adjusted the angle of his hips, his shaft brushing up against your g-spot with every thrust. "So. Fucking. Tight," each of his words was accentuated with a deep thrust of his hips, filling you up impossibly so. Like he wanted to show you just how much he'd been thinking about it, like he claimed he did.
If the moans coming out of you weren't evidence enough as to what was happening in the room, then you were pretty much certain that the plap! plap! echoing through the walls was evidence enough. Geto's heavy balls smacked against your ass with every harsh thrust of his hips. He brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing at the nub just in time for it to match his pace. You clamped around his cock like a vice, a strangled moan leaving out of his lips. "Just had to tell- shit me that you wanted my cum, ma."
"Mph, cumm- I'm cumm-" Muffled babbles left your mouth, your cunt clenching around him yet again. A creamy ring formed around the base of his cock, his thrusts getting sloppier and faster. Whatever small bits of concern about being too loud had been disregarded—loud squelches and skin clapping filling up the room as Suguru rutted inside of you. You turned your head to look over at him, the sight before you almost like something out of a painting. His hair had completely been released from the half-bun, cascading down his back perfectly and his eyes were closed in pure bliss.
Spurts and spurts of cum shot deep inside of you, his cock twitching as you milked him for whatever he could offer. Suguru pulled his softening cock out of your cunt, his cum starting to dribble out of you and down your thighs. With the same fingers he'd had inside your mouth, he pushed his cum back inside of you. Scooping the substance up with relative ease. Your body slumped against the chair, willing that Geto would give you a couple seconds to catch your breath.
You'd expected him to grab a wipe or a paper towel to clean you up with, but he simply got up from his spot behind you. Grabbing his pants off the floor and fastening up his fly. You looked over at him through half lidded eyes, seeing him pop the fingers that had previously been in your cunt into his mouth. Slurping at them in a similar fashion that you'd done just a couple minutes prior. "Wanna taste yourself, pretty girl? 'S so fucking good."
Geto didn't give you a chance to respond before he was leaning down to your level, one of his fingers underneath your chin to raise your head. He leaned in, his lips pressing against yours in a messy exchange. More of spit getting intertwined than an actual kiss, not that you minded in your state. His tongue flicked against yours, the bittersweet taste of both you and him combined filling your tastebuds. Geto pulled away after a couple seconds, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.
You hadn't even finished putting on your pants yet when Suguru spoke up yet again,
"You mind giving me a five star review when you get home?"
A/N: if you’re asking yourself how many times i’m gonna repost this, the answer’s yes ❤️
tropes: hockeyplayer!jungkook, richgirlie!oc, college!au, fwb, brother's best friend
rating: 18+
warnings: alcohol consumption, lots of teasing, jk hooking up with someone else 🤢, oc goes a bit insane <3, smoking (ew), angry koo 😠, messy blow job, spit, cum on boobies, gagging, multiple orgasms, cum play, dick slaps on face n pussy, doggy, overstimulation, dirty talk, eating out, hair pulling, mirror sex, doggy, a few spanks, sum butt stuff, oc is addicted to shopping 🫂 (we both need help), pretends to help with uni stuff just to get dick, naughty thoughts abt jk at dinner with friends??, vulnerable oc <3, proud jk <3
summary: pov: you’ve spent so long pushing jungkook away, but now you’re the one trying to pull him back in.
a/n: i hope this feeds ur tummies well ! 😋
masterlist
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“What is wrong with you?”
These being the first words Taehyung directs at you when you enter the kitchen at 9 in the morning makes you want to claw his eyes out and head back to bed again.
“I’d fight you if I wasn’t sleepy right now,” you mutter as you shove past him to get to the coffee machine.
“No, I’m being for real,” Taehyung says, inspecting you through critical eyes.
“I’m not wearing make-up. Get over it.”
“It’s not that,” he presses. “You’ve been acting strange the past few days.”
He catches you off-guard with that. You can’t think of a lie fast enough to cover up the fact that you’ve been kinda dumped by his best friend and are no longer fuck buddies, hard times, so you blink a few times to keep your composure.
Your brain, struggling to function at this hour, lands on the most groundbreaking response: “Huh?”
“You didn’t want chicken when I asked if I should bring you some yesterday.” Taehyung crosses his arms, leaning against the counter.
“I already ate when you called,” you quickly – maybe too quickly? You don’t know – defend yourself as you watch the coffee stream into your mug.
“Right. Tell me one time – just one – where you’ve turned down chicken.” He raises an eyebrow. “By the way, I still got you some. It’s in the fridge. But I knew something was up, because you never-”
“Wait, really?” you cut him off, perking up. “You got me chicken?”
You rush to the fridge, flinging the door open. There isn’t much in there to begin with, so it’s easy to spot your beloved meal. You grab it and get it ready for the microwave.
Taehyung completely ignores your excitement over the food and continues his questioning.
“You didn’t react when I switched one of your reality tv shows for something else the other day.”
Did he? You don’t even remember that happening.
“You came home after a long day. I was just being a sweet sister,” you deflect, waving him off.
“Point is – I can tell when my baby sister is sad. And I don’t need you to feign indifference for me, because it’s okay not to be okay,” he says, gentle. “And I wish you’d come to me about whatever this is to make you feel better, because, I don’t know, I thought that’s what we’ve been doing as siblings.”
Your heart squeezes.
He just wants to comfort you. Be there for you. And it clearly pains him that you’ve been keeping this from him.
“No, yeah, I know, it’s just.” God, you hate this. Having to lie to him. “It’s honestly not that serious, Tae. I’m just being dramatic about it, you know how I am.” You try to laugh it off, but he doesn’t let it deceive him.
“It’s about a boy, isn’t it?”
You need to tweak your acting skills. And your reactions too, because why did you look away after he asked you that?
“A boy?” You stretch the word out in an exaggerated drag to make his inquisition sound ridiculous. “There’s no boy in my life.”
“If I find out Eunwoo is causing trouble, I’ll-”
“God, no.” You shake your head vehemently. “He’s fine. He’s not doing anything.”
You retrieve the chicken from the microwave and set it next to your coffee. A questionable breakfast choice, but right now, comfort food is comfort food.
“Want some?” you offer, grabbing your chopsticks.
Taehyung sighs deeply, shaking his head. His lips press into a thin line, but there’s no anger – just concern softening his features. “Wanna talk about it?” He pauses, voice dropping lower. “Who do I have to fight?”
Your stupid best friend, who walked out on me because, apparently, he doesn’t like it when I’m with other boys and was so dramatic about it, but I lowkey do understand him because I don’t like seeing him with other girls too but I can’t tell him because I don’t want him to know that I care and maybe everything is my fault but I am sad and upset and I can’t tell you anything about it because you’d hate me for it.
You keep these thoughts to yourself though and bite into a piece of chicken instead.
“Tae, no.”
“To both of my questions?”
“Mhm-hmm,” you answer with your mouth full.
His shoulders slump in defeat.
Placing your chopsticks down, you step forward and wrap your arms around him.
“You’re an amazing brother, Tae,” you mumble against his chest. “And I promise that I’m doing fine. You’d know if I wasn’t. I think I’m just getting my period soon, honestly. I’ve been hating everything and everyone lately.” You squeeze him tight. “But I love you.”
“I love you,” he replies, resting his chin on your head. “You’d come to me if you needed me, right?”
“Of course. I love to annoy you about my problems.”
You feel his chuckle rumble through his chest.
“You’re coming to dinner with us after the game, right?”
You draw you head back slightly, peering up at him.
“Define us.”
Taehyung’s brows knit together.
“Like, everyone.”
You so don’t want to see Jungkook. It’s been a week since he left you confused in your room.
Detangling yourself from Taehyung, you shoot him an unimpressed pout. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood for that many people.”
“I’m not gonna let you lock yourself up in your room, ___,” he says, a slight edge creeping into his voice. “You can bedrot another day.”
He’s right – you probably should socialise a little more. And with so many people around, you might not even notice Jungkook’s presence.
“I’ll come,” you relent defeatedly, picking up your tray with breakfast. “Good luck with the game.” You reach up on your tippy toes to ruffle his hair with your free hand, earning an exasperated groan from him.
~
So, when you thought you could just ignore Jungkook at dinner, you failed to consider one crucial detail – the universe lives to humble you. Because, of course, out of all the empty seats, he had to take the one right next to you. Rookie mistake. Amateur behaviour. A tragic miscalculation on your part.
Now, you’re stuck playing the world’s most intense game of Pretending He Doesn’t Exist, which, unfortunately, is pretty difficult when he’s breathing in your general direction.
“Can you guys believe that I got a C for my essay?” Seokjin announces after chomping down a big piece of meat.
“Was it the one with the ducks?” Jungkook questions.
“Yeah, I was so excited to hand it in ‘cause I had so much fun writing, and then I get a C.” Seokjin tilts his head in remorse. “I was at a Lotte World parking lot when I got the notification, and it felt like someone stole my firstborn. I hope that never happens to me, I don’t think I could go through the emotions a second time. Honestly, not even the bumper cars could distract me after that.”
“Sure you don’t wanna sign up for drama class?” Taehyung teases. “You’d be such an asset to it.”
“I’m so close to doing it.”
“Wait, you wrote an essay about ducks?” you ask.
“Not just about ducks, silly,” Seokjin explains. “I wrote an essay on whether someone would rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck. You know, deep stuff like answering questions if it is morally better to fight one large opponent or many small ones.”
“What would the world do without you, Jin,” Yoongi chimes in.
“I’d choose one horse-sized duck, I think,” Eunji says, who thankfully sits next to you, so you’re not completely surrounded by people who you dislike (yes, you might’ve forced her to come with you – she wanted to study in the library, but you dragged her here with the promise of showering her with your never-ending love).
“But a duck so big is scary, no?” you ponder, tapping your chopsticks against your mouth as you think.
Listening in on your conversation, Jungkook says, “The horse-sized duck would be easier.”
You frown, turning to him. “That thing would be massive, and it’s a duck. Ducks are unpredictable.”
“Okay, but 100 duck-sized horses would overwhelm you,” he argues. “You’re assuming they’re just gonna stand there like cute little ponies. What if they’re really aggressive? They’d be all over you, biting, kicking. That’s chaotic.”
“How would you manage fighting a huge duck, though? I don’t see that happening,” you scoff.
“I’m not saying it wouldn’t be hard, but at least it’s just one thing to focus on. It’s straightforward.” Jungkook leans back, dragging his gaze over your face before he says, “But of course you’d prefer the more chaotic solution.”
You raise your eyebrows. “What are you on about?”
You’re talking about ducks and horses. Or so you thought.
Jungkook shrugs. “Nothing. I just think your decision is stupid.”
His eyes don’t waver, and you don’t back down either, because what the hell? Jungkook’s picking a fight over nonsense and has the audacity to glare at you like you personally offended him. His brows are drawn tight, frustration evident in the sharpness of his expression.
As you glare back, you can’t stop your brain from taking an unexpected detour to memories in which Jungkook wore a similar expression. On top of you, a little sweaty, cheeks flushed and – oh my god, you feel the heat rush to your cheeks and swiftly turn away.
“You’re annoying,” you mumble under your breath, picking up your chopsticks again.
Where did these thoughts come from? Do you miss him? It’s been one week. You need a distraction.
"See how riveting my essay topic is?” Seokjin chimes in, pointing his chopsticks at the two of you. “A C is criminally underappreciated.”
“I don’t think anyone can get under ___ skin like Jungkook,” Taehyung chuckles, placing more meat onto your plate.
“Oh no, don’t worry, you still take the first place,” you quip.
“Don’t say that too loud. Jungkook’s too competitive.”
“He’s a mini version of you.” You turn to Jungkook when you say it, scrunching your nose to display your dismay.
“There’s nothing mini about Jungkook,” Yoongi interjects.
The boys laugh while Eunji and you choke on your food.
“Okay, gross?” Eunji coughs.
“What? Have you not seen his muscles? He’s a big guy,” Seokjin defends, eyes wide as he studies Jungkook’s physique. “That’s no secret.”
“That’s why Sooyoung wants him again,” Jimin teases with a wicked grin stretching across his face.
“Oh, fuck off.” Jungkook kicks him under the table. “I said we’re not talking about this.”
At the mention of a name that rings a bell but you can't quite place it yet – one Jungkook clearly doesn’t want brought up – you perk up. “Not talking about what?”
It’s silent next to you.
Jungkook tenses, his posture stiff, the only giveaway a rough, forced clearing of his throat.
One game. You miss one game, and apparently, all the drama unfolds without you.
“You should’ve been there, ___,” Jimin drawls, eyes twinkling with mischief. “His ex was practically his personal cheerleader.”
Your brows lift as you turn to Jungkook. “Sooyoung, huh?”
You never got the chance to meet Jungkook’s ex. He was dating her during your senior year of high school, and they broke up while you were still in school.
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look at you. Instead, he focuses way too hard on his plate, shoving a piece of meat into his mouth like it’s the most interesting thing in the world and then finishing his beer in a few, big sips.
Jimin, on the other hand, is thriving on the attention. “Oh, yeah,” he hums. “Front-row seat. Didn’t take her eyes off him.”
At that, Jungkook kicks him again, harder this time. “Can you not?”
“Oh, come on, man. It was cute.”
You tilt your head, watching Jungkook’s reaction. “And you didn’t like that?”
His eyes finally flick to yours, the slight curve of his mouth betraying him. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it, I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“She waited outside the locker room for him,” Jimin continues.
You hold back a roll of your eyes. You don’t care. You don’t care at all.
“Did she?” Eunji fuels the fire with her excited question.
“She said hi. That’s it,” Jungkook mutters.
Jimin snorts at Jungkook’s reply. “Man, that’s not what I saw.”
“And you,” Jungkook directs at Jimin. “You were eye fucking her friend the entire time, so don’t act all high and mighty when you could barely keep your hands to yourself.”
“Sue me!” Jimin exclaims. “Yeah, I do think her friend’s hot, lock me up for it. I need her ig handle or something. I wanna see her again.”
“You’re both hopeless,” you comment, nails tapping against your glass.
“Hey, if she’s hot, she’s hot.” Jimin shrugs, grinning from ear to ear. “You can’t blame me for appreciating the view.”
Yoongi gives him a pointed look. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been ‘appreciating’ the view from every girl in the restaurant for the last hour.”
Jimin laughs loudly, clearly unbothered. “Guilty as charged.”
“What else is new?” Eunji asks. “Besides Seokjin thinking being unhinged will get him an A in his philosophy class, Jungkook having an over-attached ex, and Jimin being a total playboy? Anything else exciting happened this week?”
“I bought a blind box today,” you announce. “And got upset because I didn’t get the one I wanted.”
“The sonny angel figures?” Jungkook asks casually – way too casually.
His tone is so easy, so natural, that for a split second, you forget, just like he forgot. You almost answer just as effortlessly, almost fall into the usual rhythm of conversation with him. But then it hits you—the sharp, perfectly timed reminder that you’re pissed at him.
So instead, you hesitate, fingers tightening around your glass. “Yeah,” you say, a little clipped “Those.”
“I say you stop spending so much money for dust-collecting shit,” Tae comments, and you don’t even have the chance to defend yourself, because Seokjin calls him out for his own questionable spending habits.
While they bicker, you giggle at their antics, distracted for a moment. You reach to dip your dumpling into the sauce, but just as your fingers hover above the dish, you brush hands with Jungkook, who was doing the same.
You kick his hand with yours, expecting him to pull back, but he doesn’t budge.
“Do you ever stop being annoying?” you ask.
“Not when the person I’m annoying is you.”
“You gonna be like this all night?” Your hand sinks, touching the table. “I thought you were mad and would want to ignore me,” you say, much quieter now, even though everyone else is too caught up arguing whether Taehyung’s fifa pack spendings are justified.
“Weren’t you trying to do the same?”
Well, yeah. You were trying to ignore him – that was the sole reason why you even came – but you somewhere along the way, you veered off that plan, and now here you are.
“I guess you’re just too pretty for me to ignore.”
Jungkook freezes at that. You use the opportunity to nudge his hand aside and dip your food into the sauce.
“Funny, didn’t seem to be a problem when you were texting that dude next to me the other day.”
Your chewing slows. The words hit exactly where he intended, sharp and precise, a reminder of exactly why he’s pissed in the first place.
The conversation around you carries on, oblivious, but between you and Jungkook, the tension is suffocating.
You pull away completely, shifting in your seat so your legs are angled away from him and into Eunji’s direction.
Ignoring him is easier, less of a headache – and less of a heartache – than acknowledging his existence.
~
Later that night, you drown yourself in reality tv, letting the mindless drama fill the living room and keep your thoughts from wandering to the interactions you had with Jungkook tonight, because you really need a break from that boy.
You and Eunji had left the restaurant before the boys, her excuse being that she wanted to study, and yours being that you’d had done enough socialising for the day and it was time to go back home. Yeah, you do realise that you have a self-destructive tendency to isolate when things get difficult.
So, here you are, curled up on the couch, journaling about feelings and situations and –
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
You freeze, pen hovering above the paper as the sound of the front door code being punched in echoes from outside. The lock clicks, and the door swings open.
A familiar head of dark hair peeks inside first, followed by annoyingly familiar second one.
“You’re still up?” Taehyung asks, shrugging off his jacket and toes off his shoes.
“Tae,” you say slowly, looking at Jungkook. “Why is he here?”
“Figured we’d hang for a bit more. Play some fifa together.”
“You figured?” You turn to Tae with a deadpan expression.
Taehyung shrugs. “He looked sad.”
“I didn’t look sad,” Jungkook mutters, finally stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.
“You looked all emo when everyone got up to leave,” Taehyung says.
“Whatever.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and heads towards the kitchen, like this is his house now.
You exhale through your nose, pressing your fingers to your temple. “Do we look like a halfway house for emotionally constipated men?”
Jungkook’s voice calls out from the kitchen. “I can hear you.”
“Good.”
“Please try and act civil while I go change,” Taehyung pleads, already disappearing down the hallway.
Jungkook emerges a second later, settling onto the couch, a glass of water in his hand. His tatted fingers wrap around it, long and steady, as he takes a sip. You watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs, the way his throat moves, how the tiniest droplet of water escapes before his tongue swipes it away – completely unbothered. Casual. Like he isn’t taking up too much space in your head already.
“Headache from all that beer?” you ask, trying – hoping – that you sound unaffected by whatever it is about him that’s making your stomach flip.
He exhales, tipping his head back against the couch, stretching his neck just enough to make it unfair. The angle sharpens his jaw line.
His gaze flickers to you. “Something like that.”
Jungkook looks at you. Really looks at you.
His eyes drag over your bare legs, stretched out in tiny shorts that are basically just suggestions of clothing. They hesitate on the curve of your thighs, the hem barely covering anything, before sliding up to the delicate strap of your camisole, the curve of your shoulder. His fingers tighten around the glass just enough for you to notice.
You meet his gaze, unblinking.
Jungkook’s fingers twitch.
You smirk, stretching deliberately, arching your back slightly as you reposition yourself.
And then – his eyes flick downward, landing on the open journal beside you.
You don’t think anything of it at first – until his brows furrow slightly, head tilting as he squints.
“Wait,” he mutters, leaning forward. “Did I just see my name in there?”
Your stomach drops.
Panic sets in at lightning speed.
You slam the journal shut so fast it’s borderline violent.
“Mind your business.”
Jungkook blinks, then grins, slow and smug. Oh, you hate him.
“There is literally nothing for you to see.”
“Oh, but there was something,” he muses, stretching an arm along the back of the couch like he isn’t about to drive you insane. “You wrote about me?”
You cross your arms. “What if I did?”
“Depends,” he says, just momentarily allowing his gaze to drop to your chest. “What exactly are you writing about me?”
Jungkook’s smirk deepens, eyes flicking between you and the journal.
“You’re acting awfully guilty right now,” he taunts, shifting slightly, his thigh pressing against yours.
“Because you’re being nosey.”
“No, because you’re hiding something.”
You roll your eyes, gripping the journal tighter. “You’re not that interesting.”
He hums, tilting his head. “Then lemme see.”
“Absolutely not.”
It happens so fast you barely have time to react. One second, Jungkook is sitting there, all relaxed and smug. The next, he’s lunging forward, reaching for the journal with one hand, the other bracing against the couch to trap you in place.
“Jungkook—stop!” you shriek, twisting away, holding the journal out of his reach.
But he’s relentless.
He shifts closer, practically caging you in, his body warm and solid against yours. His arm brushes your bare thigh as he reaches again, fingers grazing the cover. You twist further, laughing, but the movement only makes things worse—your back presses into the cushions, and suddenly, he’s right there, hovering over you, weight balanced between his knees and one hand pressed into the couch beside your head.
The laughter dies in your throat.
Because now it’s just you and him, tangled up, breathing the same air. His face is inches from yours, the heat of his body seeping into your skin, the scent of his cologne mixed with something distinctly him. His gaze flickers downward – just for a second – but it’s enough. Enough for you to feel the shift. Enough for the teasing to suddenly feel like something else entirely.
Jungkook swallows.
Your heart is in your throat.
His gaze drops to your lips.
You freeze.
His fingers tighten slightly where they rest near your hip. The journal is still caught between you, forgotten, and for the first time, neither of you moves to break the moment.
Until –
A door creaks open down the hallway.
You both jerk back at the same time.
Jungkook moves first, clearing his throat as he drops back onto the couch, running a hand through his hair like that’ll somehow erase the past ten seconds. You sit up just as Taehyung strolls back in, glancing between the two of you with mild suspicion.
“Did you guys kill each other yet?”
“Nearly,” you retort, fixing your hair.
Tae grabs two controllers and plops onto the couch next to Jungkook. “Why’d you scream?”
“Your idiot of a best friend is obsessed with me and tried to sneak a peek into my journal,” you huff, dramatically clutching said journal to your chest.
“Oh, boy,” Tae clicks his tongue. “She’s serious about this thing, Jk. Wouldn’t advise you to –” he waves a hand vaguely, “–poke the bear.”
Jungkook looks like he is actually considering telling Tae what he saw in your beloved journal. His lips party slightly, brows furrowing, before he shakes the thought off. Good for him. You wouldn’t even know where to begin explaining why Jungkook’s name is written in there.
Taehyung hands one of the controllers to Jungkook.
“Is this my cue to turn off my show?” you ask, lips forming a natural pout of disappointment.
“Sorry, spontaneous boys' night,” Tae says with a shrug.
“Please never say that again.”
Jungkook snorts, finally looking at you.
You raise a brow. Challenge him silently.
He just grins, popping his dimples, rolling his shoulders back like he has the upper hand.
God, you hate him.
You stay in the living room while they game – despite considering retreating to your room multiple times when Jungkook and Tae started yelling at each like an old married couple.
But you quickly realise how fun it is to mess with Jungkook, especially when he gets roasted for his lack of skills by an oblivious Taehyung. Which, judging by the way Jungkook’s jaw keeps ticking and his grip on the controller tightens, is absolutely getting to him.
“Want more snacks?” you ask sweetly as you rise to your feet, collecting the empty bowls. One slips from your grasp, landing on the carpet. You bend over to grab it, in front of Jungkook, and maybe, just maybe, you move slower than necessary. Maybe shifting your hips a little too much. Maybe giving him a view he definitely does not deserve.
Tae, completely unbothered, waves you off like a fly buzzing around his screen. “___, get out of the way,” he complains impatiently, fingers rapidly clicking on his controller. “But I’ll have some more chips, thanks.”
Jungkook, however, isn’t saying shit.
You glance over your shoulder, just in time to catch the flicker of his eyes meeting yours before he collects himself and redirects his attention back to the game.
“You good, Jungkook?” you ask innocently.
His nostrils flare. Through gritted teeth, he mutters, “Just move.”
So you do, slow and smug, your shorts sliding back over your thighs as you pad toward the kitchen.
Right as you’re reaching for the drawer, you hear Taehyung ask, “What are you gonna do about that Sooyoung girl?” Your movements slow. “You interested?”
The nosiness and urge to gossip definitely runs through your genes.
“Nah, I don’t want her back.”
When you glance back, Jungkook’s still focused on the game, but there’s something absent in the way he’s holding the controller – like he’s playing on autopilot.
“That bad, huh?”
“Just wasn’t that deep.”
You busy yourself with the drawer, fingertips grazing over the handle as you bite back the urge to comment. Just listen.
“You never really said why you two broke up.”
“No, I did tell you,” Jungkook says, easy but firm. “You just never believed me.”
“That’s because it always felt like there was more.”
“There wasn’t. We just didn’t fit.”
Didn’t fit how?
You open the drawer and grab more snacks.
“Yeah...I don’t know. You never seemed truly happy with her.”
Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose. "I wasn’t miserable," he finally says.
“You weren’t happy either.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I stayed with Sooyoung because it was easy. No drama. No real emotions involved.”
With the snacks in tow, you walk back to the living room. “That sounds really sad, Jaykay,” you say, not trying to hide that you’ve been listening to them.
He shrugs. “Maybe. But at least it didn’t mess with my head.” His gaze lingers on you. “Didn’t make me feel like I was losing my mind.”
“Fuck, no, if someone makes you feel that way – leave, immediately,” Taehyung says.
You grab a bag of chips, tearing it open as you lean against the side of the couch. “You guys done being dramatic yet?”
Taehyung glances over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes. “You’re still here?”
“I live here.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?” you repat. “You were the one who happily agreed when mum and dad suggested that I move in with you. I wanted my own place!”
“Oh no, the princess didn’t get what she wanted. How dare they?” Jungkook mocks you.
You faintly remember the discussion of moving into an even bigger place, where all three of you would live together, but Jungkook denied that idea back then, saying the dorm that his athletic scholarship is providing him is good enough for him.
You scoff, shoving his shoulder as you pop another chip into your mouth. “Okay, first of all, you don’t get a say in this. Second of all, I’m not a princess.”
Jungkook tilts his head, a smirk playing on his lips. “Sure you aren’t.”
Taehyung snorts, eyes still glued to the screen. “You literally whined for two weeks straight about not having enough closet space.”
“That was a valid complaint,” you argue. “You take up, like, half of it with your stupid jerseys.”
“They’re collectibles.”
“They’re ugly.”
Jungkook laughs, finally leaning back into the couch, looking far too amused. “I see living together is going great for you two.”
“Oh, it’s fantastic,” Taehyung deadpans. “Every day is a blessing.”
“You’re so dramatic,” you mutter, but you can’t help the way your lips twitch. “I liked this conversation more when you gossiped about Jungkook’s life.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, then jerks his chin toward Jungkook. “Dude, hurry up and lose so we can switch games.”
Jungkook, who has barely been playing at all, huffs. “I’m not gonna lose on purpose.”
“You’re already playing like shit,” Taehyung points out. “What’s up with you? Did Sooyoung get into your head or what?”
Why would he be thinking about her when – okay, you need to calm down. It’s not that serious.
You just need to call it a night, crawl into bed, and sleep it off.
“Heading to bed,” you announce, grabbing your journal from the coffee table.
“Alright, sleep tight,” Taehyung replies.
“Night, princess.” You flick the back of Jungkook’s head for that.
~
“Okay, very out of character for me, but we need to stop drinking for a sec and you need to tell me why the hell you keep looking back at Jungkook?” Eunji asks you all of a sudden, voice barely carrying over the muffled bass shaking the walls of the packed frat house.
The kitchen is one of the only semi-breathable spaces in the frat house, though the counters are a war zone of spilled liquor, sticky cups, and questionably abandoned drinks. The air reeks of cheap booze and sweat, but none of that is stopping Eunji from interrogating you.
You blink perplexed. “Out of character for you?” you ask back, eyeing the way she pulls back the cup you were just mixing a drink in. “I think that is very true to your character – very you. I’d be out of character for me to stop us from drinking.” You snatch back your cup.
“Did I say that?” She’s lost in her mind for a moment. “I don’t even remember. Am I that drunk already? I don’t wanna wake up hungover tomorrow.” She laments. “I still got this assignment due, and I wanted to get most of it done tomorrow, but – oh my god. Do not distract me from the question I just asked you.” She stares at you with sharp eyes. “Why do you keep looking back at Jungkook?”
“Am I?”
She huffs. “You don’t get to play this game with me, ___.” She pokes your tummy. “Answer me.”
You fully turn to her, abandoning the cup with the godawful alcohol mix – yes, it’s your creation, no, you’ve never had any talent for mixing drinks.
“I might have to tell you something.”
Her eyes widen. Immediately. Mouth opening in an unbelievable expression of pure, unfiltered drama. One that belongs in a reality show confession booth.
“Shut up. You did not – did you? Oh my god, shut up!”
“We might have hooked up for, like, a good few months.”
Her palm flies to cover her mouth. “Behind Taehyung’s back?” she whisper shouts.
“Well, obviously.” You point to yourself. “You think I’d be alive if he knew? You think he’d be alive if Tae knew?”
“You whore!”
“For Jungkook? Kinda,” you admit defeatedly.
You take a glimpse into his direction. Eunji shoves you on the shoulder for that.
“Don’t make it obvious!” she exclaims. “But you need to tell me everything. Right now.”
You sigh, leaning against the counter.
“The first time we hooked up was before I enrolled in uni. It was the summer before when Tae and Jungkook spontaneously visited and-“
“Okay, I need you to stop,” Eunji interrupts, fingers massaging her temples. “The summer before uni?” she repeats, exasperated. “You’ve been keeping it a secret since summer? I need more booze before you continue.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you, but we didn’t want anyone to know. He’d be pissed if he knew I told you.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I get it, I really do. I just didn’t expect this at all.” After pouring something inside her cup, she takes big gulps from it.
“I mean, what was I supposed to do? He’s hot, he’s pretty, and I’ve had a crush on him since, like, forever. I had to give in when he showed interest. What’s a girl gonna do?”
“How have you been able to keep it from Taehyung? They’re with each other 24/7.”
“He comes over when I know Tae’s gonna be out for a while. Or the other way around,” you reply, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “You can make anything work if you really want to, and I really wanted Jungkook.”
Still do, if you’re being honest.
You pause, then wave it off dramatically. “But that’s ancient history. We’re totally over that weird situationship.”
“What?!” Another shocked gasp escapes her. “Why?!”
“I don’t even know, to be honest. He just – we fucked, and then he...I dunno.” You grab your cup and down the rest of your drink, grimacing at the taste of whatever you concocted. “He got mad at me for texting Eunwoo after we had sex. I didn't even think he’d be all sensitive about it, especially since, you know, he’s with other girls too. But he got so pissed and we argued. And guess what?!” You throw your arms out, face dramatically incredulous. “He just leaves me in bed! Like, straight up walks out, saying stupid shit like I sleep around and only text him when I’m bored. Acting like we’re some exclusive thing, which we’re not! How dare he get so upset?” you argue theatrically, voice rising in pitch. “I’ve got better shit to do than this,” you mimic in Jungkook’s deep voice, eyes rolling for extra effect. “He’s so annoying.”
Eunji scrutinizes you for a brief moment before coming to her conclusion.
“Oh, he wants you bad.”
“Huh?” Your brows furrow. “He left me.”
“Because he wants you two to be exclusive and you don't. Why should he stay?”
Why should he stay?
You stare at Eunji, her words settling over you like an unwanted truth.
“He did ask me to be exclusive before,” you admit, twirling the empty cup in your hands. “But I always thought it would be a bad idea. Because being exclusive is so much more serious, and I want to be anything but serious with him. We don’t work that way. I can’t have that happening and risking Tae finding out. It would ruin everything.”
Eunji gives you a long, unimpressed look. “But being exclusive friends with benefits doesn’t have to mean more. It could just stay that way. Why do you always make things complicated?”
You huff, frustration bubbling up. “I don’t know.” You drop your forehead against her shoulder.
She pats your back like you’re a lost puppy.
“You’re and idiot, babe.”
“I know.”
“You also like him.”
You groan into her shoulder. “Shut up.”
“Just saying,” she singsongs.
It’s only now that you realise just how much you needed this – to talk to someone. To get all these tangled thoughts out of your head instead of letting them fester in silence. You’ve spent so much time convincing yourself that none of it mattered, brushing it off like it was nothing, but saying it out loud makes it real. And weirdly, that feels... good. Cathartic, even. Like exhaling after holding your breath for too long.
“Do you think I should-“ You start to lift your head, but Eunji pushes you back down with a firm hand.
“Everything will be fine, ___,” she babbles, patting your head a little too aggressively. “Just, you know, don’t be too sad.”
“What are you on about?”
“Just stay here for a sec.”
“Eunji.” You force yourself out of her grasp.
She’s looking somewhere past you, eyes flickering toward the living room, but when she realizes you’ve caught on, she quickly averts her gaze. Too quickly. Suspiciously.
You turn around, scanning the area to find what she doesn’t want you to see.
Your tummy churns in an instant when you see it.
Jungkook.
Heading up the stairs.
With Nayeon.
Even in the hazy lighting of the party, he stands out – broad shoulders wrapped in a dark, well-fitted tee, his silver chain glinting against his collarbone. He moves effortlessly, the easy confidence in his stride something you know all too well. His hand rests low on Nayeon’s back, fingertips grazing the thin fabric of her dress as she leans into him, whispering something into his ear.
The words leave your mouth before you can even think. You grab Eunji’s cup and down the last of her drink, but the alcohol does nothing to wash away the bitter taste in your mouth.
Your eyes scan the room frantically. “Wasn’t Eunwoo somewhere here too?” You rise onto your toes, searching the sea of bodies. “I think I just need to get my mind off things.”
“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Eunji immediately cuts in, grabbing your wrist before you can make any rash decisions. “We are not doing this.”
“Doing what?”
She levels you with a look. “You are not about to make a dumbass decision just to get back at Jungkook. Not on my watch.”
“I really, really hate him right now.”
“I know,” she soothes. “But no petty comebacks for situations where we absolutely do not need to make fools of ourselves, yeah?”
Your brain is screaming at you to make Jungkook feel just as shitty as you do, to do something reckless and distracting, but deep down, you know Eunji’s right.
You steal another glance at the staircase. They’re gone.
The realization sinks in, and suddenly, the air in the frat house feels suffocating. The bass of the music thrums in your chest, the chatter around you blurring into an overwhelming hum.
“I need air,” you mutter, pushing past Eunji before she can stop you.
She sighs but doesn’t follow. She knows you need a moment alone.
You slip through the crowd, weaving your way toward the back door. The night air hits you instantly, cool against your heated skin, but it does little to settle the storm raging in your chest.
Leaning against the railing of the porch, you inhale deeply, forcing your nerves to settle.
This is fine.
~
“Can you promise you won’t puke on me?”
“I mean, I can, but I don’t know if I can keep the promise.”
You spotted Chanyeol with another guy—Jackson, you think—smoking and went over to chat with them. It wasn’t until they finished their joint that curiosity got the best of you. One thing led to another, and Jackson went inside to roll you one. Now, all three of you are standing outside, two pairs of curious eyes fixed on you.
“She’ll be fine,” Jackson says as he exhales a slow stream of smoke, watching it curl into the night air.
Chanyeol eyes you warily as he sparks up your joint. “I don’t know how much you drank tonight, but please tell me if you feel sick.” He holds it out for you.
You hesitate for half a second before taking it between your fingers. It feels weird, unnatural. “So I just…?”
“Inhale, but not too hard. Hold it for a second, then let it out,” Chanyeol instructs.
You follow his guidance, pulling in a slow drag. The taste is harsher than you expected, earthy and a little burnt, making you cough almost instantly.
“Classic first hit,” Jackson says, but it’s not as reassuring as he thinks. “Give it a sec.”
“How do you feel?” Chanyeol asks, watching you closely.
“Feels very icky,” you tell him, nose scrunched up. “But I’m feeling okay.”
“Yo, Jackson!” some dude yells from the back. Jackson disappears, leaving Chanyeol and you alone.
“You sure you’re fine?”
The night air feels heavier now, the music from inside muffled like you’re hearing it through a wall. Your fingers tingle slightly, warmth spreading through your limbs. You shift on your feet, suddenly hyper-aware of the way your body moves.
You blink at him. “I think my brain is moving slower than my body.”
He laughs. “Yeah, that happens. Just ride it out.”
You exhale, watching the smoke swirl in front of you.
“The fuck?”
Your head snaps toward the voice.
Jungkook stands a few feet away, brows furrowed, looking like he just walked into some kind of crime scene. His eyes flick between you and the joint in your fingers, then to Chanyeol, before settling back on you.
For some reason, your eyes wander to his hands. He’s probably touched so many things tonight, so many body parts. Did he wash them?
“The hell you’re doing?” Jungkook asks, walking towards you.
“Uhm, having fun?” you try, watching his frown deepen.
“This is not something you do, ___.” Jungkook directs his glare at Chanyeol. “Why the fuck would you give this to her?”
“Fuck, Jungkook, if you wanna be angry be angry elsewhere,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes.
“You fuck off,” Jungkook counters.
“As if you have never smoked.” Chanyeol raises his brows.
“I don’t smoke.”
“Trying to maintain a squeaky-clean image for those scouts who might be watching?”
“Mind your fucking business.”
“Jungkook, you’re being rude.” You turn to him, pointing a finger at his broad chest. “You’ve been going around, having fun yourself but can’t let other people have fun. That’s not nice of you.”
You stare up at him, a sullen pout on your mouth before pulling another slow drag and trying hard to not cough, but a small cough slips out anyway.
“Get that shit away, ___,” Jungkook demands, unimpressed by the smoke surrounding his face.
“Why do you care? Lemme have fun.”
“This shit fucks with your head.”
My brain’s already fucked, you think. Thanks a lot.
“It’s just weed?”
“Taehyung will lose his mind.”
“Is Tae with us now?”
Jungkook arches his brow.
“Oh, you wouldn’t.”
“Stop right now or I’ll call him.”
You hold his gaze, daring him. “You’re bluffing.”
Jungkook pulls his phone out of his pocket without hesitation, thumb hovering over the screen. “Try me.”
You wait, staring at Jungkook’s screen until he actually calls Taehyung.
Before the call can connect, you groan and shove the joint into Chanyeol’s hand. “God, fine, I’m done.”
He hangs up before Taehyung can answer.
You glare at him, but he only tilts his head toward the house. “Let’s get you some water.”
He guides you towards the house with his hand splayed across your side. At first, you shy away from his touch, mind racing with thoughts you’d rather not acknowledge. But as the night air presses cool against your skin, you let yourself relax, leaning into him slightly as you walk up the stairs.
“You’re so mean, you know that?” you huff.
“I’m just looking out for you,” he replies, in a softer tone than before.
“You didn’t have to be mean with Chanyeol. It wasn’t his weed. Chanyeol was actually very kind, made sure I was feeling okay-“
Jungkook stops at the threshold of the house.
“I’m gonna have a little chat with Jackson.”
“How do you know-“
His hand slips from your waist. He turns, leaving you standing on the porch, and disappears in the crowd.
Because that’s just easy for him – leaving you.
Why should he stay?
You don’t care.
You don’t care.
And if you keep telling yourself that, maybe – just maybe – you’ll start to believe it.
~
Flash forward a week, and you can now say –proudly, with your full chest – that you do care.
You’ve never not cared. Pretended? Yes. But gotten over it? Not even close.
Which is why it’s not surprising that you find yourself at yet another party, drink in hand, scanning the room without meaning to. Or maybe you do mean to. Maybe you want to see him. Maybe you want him to see you. Maybe you want him to know that he didn’t get to you. Even though he did.
You’re sunk into the couch, surrounded by your friend group, half-listening as they go on about today’s hockey practice – boy gossip, oh how you love it.
“Coach told him he’s probably getting benched next game,” Jimin says, shaking his head as he leans back against the couch. “Too many penalties last match. Dumbass just keeps throwing hits for no reason.”
“That’s what happens when you let your ego get ahead of you,” Jin chimes in, stretching his legs out. “Coach is tired of his shit. And honestly? Fair.”
“I heard he almost fought Yoongi in the locker room,” Taehyung adds, arching a brow as he takes a sip of his drink. “Over something stupid too, like warm-up drills.”
“Swear to God, that guy needs to chill,” Jimin scoffs. “He’s got all the talent, but he plays like he’s trying to prove something every damn game.”
When Taehyung gets up to grab himself another drink, you catch him by the sleeve.
“Can you get me one too, please?” You hand him your empty cup.
Taehyung eyes the cup. “You’ve been drinking a bit more lately.”
“It’s just my second drink?”
His sharp eyes linger on you for a moment before he reluctantly takes your cup and walks off. He hasn’t missed the shift in your behaviour these past few weeks. You try to hide it, but there’s only so much you can do.
“Could say the same thing about Jungkook, though,” Jin says.
Jin’s words linger in the air, but you don’t dare react.
“Jungkook’s always been like that,” Jimin says, tipping his drink back. “Plays like he’s got something to prove, but I guess he kinda does. He wants to go pro, so it’s not like he can afford to slack off.”
It’s stupid, silly even, how easily his name can unravel you. How even when he’s not here, he’s everywhere.
“Isn’t your dad gonna come to the next game?” Jimin directs at you.
You shrug. “Maybe? I dunno.”
Given that your dad is an NHL executive, former team owner, he tries to find time in his busy schedule to attend the hockey games. The boys probably see him more than you do.
“Where is Jungkook anyway?” Hobi asks. “Is he gonna come over at all?”
Dear god, you hope, pray, he won’t.
You can’t live through seeing him disappear with another girl upstairs. You don’t have Eunji with you today to keep you from doing reckless decisions.
“He’d be all over Nayeon anyway. Doubt he’d even remember we exist,” Jin chuckles, unknowingly ruining the rest of your night.
The sound of their laughter grates against your nerves. The more you sit here, the more unbearable it becomes. The thought of him, of her, of what they could be doing, poisons your mind until you can’t take it anymore.
Taehyung returns, pressing a fresh drink into your hand. He barely gets a word in before his gaze sharpens. “You okay?”
You nod stiffly. “Yeah.”
“Liar.”
His voice is quiet enough that no one else hears, but it makes your stomach flip. He knows you too well. And if you sit here any longer, he’s going to drag the truth out of you, whether you like it or not.
So you stand abruptly, mumbling something about fresh air before slipping through the crowd, out into the cool night. The moment you’re alone, you let out a breath, pressing your fingers to your temples. It doesn’t help. Nothing does.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you pull out your phone, scroll down to the name you should ignore, and press call.
Jungkook answers on the second ring.
“Did you call me on accident?”
You ignore his question, your fingers tightening around your phone as you shift your weight from one foot to the other. Instead, you ask, “Are you gonna come to the party?”
“No, I have some assignments to do,” he answers, hesitantly. “Why’d you ask?”
“Are you sure?” Your eyes close, waiting for the confirmation that you won’t have to see things (Jungkook and a girl that isn’t you) that you don’t want to see (him hooking up with someone that isn’t you).
“Yeah, positive.” There’s a pause, and then he adds, “Is there something you don’t want me to see? Or—wait, are you just making sure I won’t be around to ruin your night?” Jungkook laughs and you realise how you’ve missed that sound. “It’s your lucky day. You won’t see my face poking around in the crowd. You can have fun.”
You frown at the nonsense he’s saying. He couldn’t be more off.
“No, you don’t get it.”
“What am I not getting?”
You stare into the night sky, the stars blurred by the city lights. You consider hanging up, letting the moment pass, but then you remember what Eunji told you. Talk to him. Get the discomfort out of the way.
“You know I’m not an insecure person.” You cross one arm over your body, rubbing your bare skin against the rising cold. “Like, I’m confident in who I am. I don’t compare myself to others because, y’know, I don’t care enough about stuff like that.”
“Yeah, of course I know that. You’re a confident girl. Have always been.”
“But you know what makes me go crazy?”
“What?”
“Seeing you with someone else.” The words slip out before you can catch them, but now that they’re out in the open, you can’t take them back. You don’t want to. Or – I dunno if it’s just that. I want you to want me. And you don’t. Which I get, I’ve been a bit shitty, so you deserve to want someone that isn’t like me, but – it just makes me go a bit insane, because I thought you did want me again the other night. At my place.” Your voice drops on the last sentence, barely above a whisper. “But then I see you with Nayeon and you just don’t care.”
You take a break, trying to organise your thoughts, but it’s fruitless because it’s just a tangled mess up there.
“Eunji said to talk with you but still give us a bit time, but oh my god I just want it to be okay between us again. I’m feeling so confused, and I don’t even really know what’s going on, but all I know is that I want things to be like before. When you still wanted me, and I wanted you and everything was good, easy,” you say, exhaling a helpless breath. “Do you think that’s possible?”
It’s silent for a beat. You don’t blame him – you couldn’t recite half the stuff that just poured out of your mouth.
“Fuck, ___.” He sounds a bit helpless himself.
Jungkook sighs on the other end, and you hear the faint rustle of fabric, like he’s shifting, maybe running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he finally admits.
“Say anything,” you murmur.
“What do you want me to do, ___?” His voice is quieter now, more controlled, but there’s something simmering beneath the surface. “Stop seeing other people? Pretend like none of this ever happened? Or do you just want me to tell you that, yeah, I still want you?”
Your breath hitches. “Do you?”
“I thought I made that obvious,” he mutters. “But every time I think we’re on the same page, you pull away and act difficult. So, forgive me if I stopped trying to figure you out.”
“I don’t mean to act difficult.”
“Then why do you?”
You don’t have an answer. Or maybe you do, but you’re scared to say it.
Jungkook waits, but when you don’t respond, he lets out a dry laugh. “You know what’s funny? I wasn’t even gonna go to the party tonight. But now I kinda want to.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I wanna see what happens when you have to look me in the eyes.” His voice is lower now, rougher. “Because talking like this? It’s too easy for you.”
“No, don’t come.” You think of the worst-case scenario – arguing with Jungkook, him getting frustrated, turning to Nayeon because she’s easier, likes her more than you. And you couldn’t stand seeing that.
“Or maybe do, if you want,” you add, voice quieter. “I think I’m gonna leave anyway. Wanna go home.” Avoiding situations – your strong suit.
“How much have you had to drink?”
You stare at the untouched drink in your hand before lifting it to your lips. The sweetness hits first, masking the barely-there burn of alcohol (thanks, Tae). “Starting my third drink now.”
“I can walk you home,” he offers.
“It’s not a long walk to my place. You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” A rustle of movement on the other end before he adds, “On my way right now.”
“I’ll wait at the front for you.”
You weave your way back inside the house to find Taehyung, who’s still in the living room chatting with one of his teammates.
“Gonna go home, Tae,” you say, your voice cutting through their conversation. He glances up, distracted for a moment, before raising an eyebrow. “Also, here–” You hand him the drink he made for you. “This is not fun to drink at all.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes at your sassy comment but takes the cup from your hand. “Learn how to enjoy a party without getting drunk.”
“You tell me to get out of my room more, and when I do, this is what you say? Pick a side,” you grumble.
“Why do you wanna go home?” His fingers adjust the top of your strapless dress absentmindedly as he asks. “You okay?”
“Eh, just a bit bored.”
“We’re gonna play truth or dare in a bit,” Taehyung’s friend pipes up, raising his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. “Maybe you should stick around.”
“I think I’ll skip,” you say. “But please do me a favour and fill me in on all the drama I’ll be missing out on.”
He winks at you. “Will do.”
“I’ll walk you home,” Taehyung says, stepping towards you.
You know he won’t allow you to go home by yourself, so you opt for telling him the truth. “Jungkook’s coming to take me home.”
“Jungkook?” he asks, surprised. “Did you call him?”
“Yeah, I asked him. Didn’t wanna annoy you. Go have fun doing...” You glance over at Jimin and Hobi, who are holding an impromptu drinking competition. Hobi’s attempting to chug straight from a bottle of something clearly too strong for him, while Jimin’s pretending to be the host of a weird, offbeat game show. “...whatever that is,” you finish, trying to hold back a laugh.
“You really can’t leave those two alone for a second, can you?” Taehyung lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Tell Jungkook to swing by here once he drops you off.”
“He didn’t sound like he was in the mood to stop by, but I'll tell him.”
“Text me when you get home, yeah?” he says over his shoulder, already walking back toward Jimin and a very much unconscious Hobi, who’s sprawled out on the couch looking like he’s had one too many rounds.
~
Jungkook finds you almost immediately. You barely have time to register his presence before he’s already slipping his zip hoodie over your shoulders, his hands smoothing over the fabric like he’s tucking you in for the night.
“You should’ve waited inside,” he mutters, fingers lingering at the collar like he’s seriously considering zipping it up for you too.
You swat his hands away, glancing around quickly. “Jungkook, don’t – everyone’s watching.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Who’s watching?”
You look over your shoulder. “I dunno. People.”
Jungkook huffs a laugh, stepping closer. “Right. Because me making sure you don’t freeze to death is so scandalous,” he jokes. “But smoking weed the other day was okay to do outside? With all the people there?”
“As a friend you’re supposed to forget my mess-ups, not remind me of them.” You huff, faintly remembering when you tried weed for the first time. You did puke that night. Luckily not on Chanyeol. “You didn’t have to come,” you grumble, even as you tug the hoodie tighter around yourself, his warmth and the faint scent of his detergent wrapping around you like a second skin.
“I know,” he says, tilting his head. “But I wanted to.”
And then, because he’s annoying, he reaches up and tugs the hood over your head, effectively swallowing half your face in fabric.
You let out a muffled noise of protest, pushing it back down immediately. “Stop that.”
Jungkook just grins, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he starts walking. “You look cute like that, though.”
You glare at him but fall into step beside him anyway, the hoodie still draped around you like it belongs there. The night air nips at your skin, but his warmth lingers, and you swear he notices the way you pull the sleeves over your hands like it’s yours.
“So…” His voice is quieter now. “What you said on the phone earlier.”
Your stomach twists. “What about it?”
“I just—” He starts, then pauses. “I don’t know what you want from me, ___. One second, you’re pushing me away, and the next, you’re telling me you can’t stand seeing me with someone else. You –” He falters, his voice catching slightly. “Do you even know what you want?”
“I know that you ruined me for other boys, for one,” you say, sighing deeply before you continue. “I want things to be like before,” you reply. “When everything wasn’t so…” You gesture vaguely. “Complicated. I don’t like this. And I don’t like how I feel when I see you with –” You cut yourself off before the name can leave your lips. He knows anyway.
Jungkook watches you carefully, hands still stuffed into his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched. “I wasn’t trying to rub anything in your face,” he says after a pause. “I didn’t think it’d… affect you.”
“Well, it did,” you say, a little too fast, a little too defensive. “And I hate that it did, because it’s not like I have a right to be mad about it.”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Don’t you?”
That stops you in your tracks.
Because – do you? You don’t know what this is, don’t know what you want from him except for more. More of his attention, more of his time, more of him. But not all of him, right? Because that would mean–
“God,” you mumble, rubbing your hands down your face. “Why are you making me say things?”
Jungkook chuckles, nudging your side. “You called me, remember?”
You groan. “Worst decision I’ve ever made.”
“Harsh.”
“Accurate.”
Jungkook lets out a short laugh, but then he’s quiet for a beat before he says, “Look, I don’t wanna play games. If you want me, then say it.”
You swallow. “I do.”
“But we don’t want each other like that,” he adds.
“Yeah, no.” You chew on your lip, pulling his hoodie tighter around yourself. “I just… don’t want to see you with other people. And I don’t want to pretend that it doesn’t bother me.”
“I don’t wanna see you with anyone else either.” Jungkook exhales, running a hand through his hair. “You want to keep fucking but be exclusive.”
You wince. “Could you not say it like that?”
“What, say it like the truth?”
You purse your lips, staring at him. “Is it a no?”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a second. Then, he sighs. “It’s not a no. I’ve been asking you for this, and you always pushed me away.”
“You know am not good with serious conversations. I like it when things are easy.” You cross your arms, trying to shield yourself, but your eyes can’t help but flicker towards him. “I don’t mean to push you away,” you admit. “I just– I get scared.”
His lips part slightly, like he wasn’t expecting that. And then – without a word – he reaches out, pulling the hoodie up so the zipper meets your chin, like he’s tucking you in.
Your heart trips over itself. “What are you doing?”
He grins, hands still lingering near your collar. “Making sure you don’t run away before you finish talking.”
“I wouldn’t run,” you protest.
Jungkook raises a brow.
“…Okay, maybe I would,” you mutter.
His grin softens into something fonder. “Well, you didn’t,” he says simply. “You’re talking to me now.” His thumb brushes over the fabric near your shoulder. “And I know that’s not easy for you.”
Your face grows hot. You roll your eyes, looking away. “Okay, don’t be nice about it.”
Jungkook laughs, bumping your forehead lightly with his. “Sorry, can’t help it. I’m proud of you.”
Your stomach flips. You shove at his chest. “Ugh. Shut up.”
He just laughs harder, catching your wrist before you can push him again. “Too late.”
You elbow him, but he catches your arm, smirking as he tugs you closer. “So that’s it?” His voice drops slightly. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, but we don’t call it anything?”
The words send a shiver down your spine. Mine.
“…Yeah,” you say. “Something like that.”
Jungkook hums, his grip on your wrist loosening but not quite letting go. His fingers brush against yours for a second before he shoves his hands back into his pockets.
“Just stay with me.” You glance at him. “Don’t leave.”
“I’ll stay. Don’t worry.”
You continue walking, the quiet hum of the streetlights and distant city noise filling the silence.
“Taehyung said he wants you to stop by at the party once you drop me off,” you tell Jungkook, letting the information hang in the air before you ask, “But hang out with me instead?”
“You know, I was doing very important things before you called.”
“You never do uni stuff and this is the day you’re deciding to do a personality rebrand?”
“What do you mean? I’m on top of my grades...Kinda.”
You huff at his response. “Then, I dunno. Wanna be nerdy together? I can help you with your assignment.”
You’re pretty sure your marketing major and fashion design minor won’t do much to help him with stats, but you’re definitely down to stick around just to be close to him.
“I don’t think you can, but being nerdy together sounds extremely intriguing, so come on.” He holds his hand out for you and drags you the other way around to his dorm.
It’s not far, just a few blocks over, but the way his fingers loosely wrap around yours makes the walk feel shorter.
~
Here’s how the rest of the night goes: Jungkook, the ever exemplary student, continues working on his assignment, while you – an accomplished liar who successfully deceived Jungkook into believing you would help him – pretend to help for all of five minutes before succumbing to the far more important task of online shopping for cute clothes.
It’s being nerdy together (your version).
Every so often, he glances at you, probably wondering if you’ll suddenly become useful. You do not. Instead, you kick your feet up on his bed, adding yet another item to your cart that you definitely don’t need.
Your thumb hovers over the screen, eyes locked on the top that has no business being so cute. A strapless, velvety pink crop top. The entire front is held together by a line of sparkling, rhinestone heart clasps, leaving slivers of skin exposed.
“Do you think this is cute?” You turn your phone toward Jungkook.
“Very pretty.” Jungkook nods in approval, until his eyes flick down to the price. “What the fuck, ___.”
“What?” Add to cart. “It’s cute, no?”
“You’re a terrible study partner,” he mutters, typing on his laptop.
“I never claimed to be one,” you say, scrolling past a top that you absolutely do need. “Isn't being in my presence motivating enough?”
Jungkook snorts. “Right. I’m so motivated by your commitment to retail therapy.”
“Good,” you say, adding another item to your cart. “Then I’m doing my job.”
You watch him work on his assignment, your gaze drifting to his hands resting on the keyboard. His fingers are long and lean, the veins running along his wrists just noticeable under his skin. It's like every little movement is getting your attention, and suddenly, all you can think about is how good those hands would feel on you.
“What about this,” you say, a ghost of a smirk dancing at the corner of your lips. “When you finish your task, we can look through some lingerie. You can help me pick out a few things.”
The back of Jungkook’s head hits the wall. His eyes wander to the mirror on the opposite side of the room. You catch him staring – specifically at your propped-up legs, his gaze lingering a little too close to where your dress has ridden up, just enough to reveal a peek of lace.
“Hey, no peeking,” you scold, snapping your legs shut and stretching them out flat on his bed again, smoothing your dress down for good measure. “That’s also for later, when you finish your assignment.”
Smirking, you shift on the bed, just to test him.
“Must be so hard,” you muse, pretending to stretch as your dress slides just a little higher on your thighs. “Having a mirror right there, nowhere else to look.”
He scoffs. “If I wanted to see, I wouldn’t need a mirror.”
Jungkook doesn’t break eye contact, like he’s daring you to react. And maybe you should. Maybe you should roll your eyes, call him cocky, say you wish – but your brain isn’t working fast enough to form words.
“Remember how I fucked you against it?”
In his jersey. How could you forget?
And the way Jungkook’s lips twitch, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, makes your face heat up instantly.
“When has it become so easy to make you shy?”
“I’m not.” You glare at him, but it only seems to amuse him more. His lips quirk higher, that same infuriating twitch like he’s enjoying this way too much.
You sit up straighter, leaning forward just enough so your dress pulls a little higher on your thighs, the movement slow and deliberate.
Jungkook’s eyes move to your legs, and you see that flicker of desire flash across his face. His fingers twitch, like he wants to do something – anything – but he stays still.
“Wanna have a little taste to get some motivation to finish your work?” you tease, the giddy rush that heated your body fading as you flash him a mischievous smile.
“Anything to distract me from this shit,” he replies, already pushing the laptop off his lap, the screen still filled with charts and statistics problems. Ugh.
You shift to your knees and grab the back of his neck, crashing your mouth against his. He deepens the kiss a little, his lips soft against yours, the taste of him sweet and familiar. His breath mingles with yours, warm and steady. His hand lands on your waist, fingers lightly tracing the curve of your body.
You pull back just a little, eyes fluttering open to meet his, and for a second, you both just smile at each other, breathless and giddy.
“Should’ve been doing this instead of staring at those charts,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
You laugh softly, heart fluttering, before kissing him again – this time with more confidence, more warmth. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer as if he can’t get enough. His touch is gentle, but you can feel the quiet desperation behind it.
His rosy lips are swollen after a few more minutes of kissing and touching and grinding.
You slide off the bed and drop down to the floor, your hands running over his thighs, silently urging him to move closer. He shifts toward you, letting out a sharp breath when your palm him through his grey sweatpants.
You want to start of slow, want to take your time, but you’re also so needy and greedy for him, that you can’t help but tug his sweatpants down his legs, along with his briefs.
You take his semi hard dick in your hands and begin to stroke him. You let a drop of spit fall onto his cock for lubrication.
Jungkook puffs out a deep breath. You want to hear more of that.
“What happened to a little taste?” he asks, barely able to contain the moans that leave his mouth.
“Can’t help it,” you shrug, watching him grow bigger and harder in your hand.
His hand reaches for the hoodie he gave you earlier, which was carelessly thrown on his bed. He places it gently on the floor in front of you.
“Sit here,” he says, smoothing out the fabric. “Don’t want your knees to hurt.”
You shuffle your knees onto his hoodie, adjusting yourself, and continue stroking him up and down. At some point, you use both of your hands. You missed feeling his heavy cock in your hands, sitting beneath him and just playing with him.
“Spit on it, baby,” he says, voice low as he grabs his cock by the base and holds it for you to spit on. “Good girl.” He watches you with hooded eyes rub your spit all over him, mixing it with the precum leaking from his tip.
His cock is shiny, glistening with veins adoring his length. You stick out your tongue, gently swiping it over his head. Jungkook hisses when you swirl your tongue around his tip, teasing him with slow moves. He strokes himself while you play with his tip.
“Missed this view.” He pulls away his cock and starts slapping it against your tongue, the heavy feeling and wet noises immediately making you press your thighs together. “Look so pretty on your knees. Such a pretty girl.” Jungkook slides his head into your mouth. “Suck, baby.”
You close your mouth around his cock while you lock eyes with him. Slowly taking him deeper until you can’t take more. Your eyes are already watery and you didn’t even get most of him inside your mouth. You bob your head up and down in a slow, leisure pace.
“Fuck, that’s it,” he praises, threading his fingers through your hair to push it away from your face. “Relax your throat for me, yeah?”
When you do, he presses his hand on the back of your head, pushing your down on his cock and forcing you to swallow nearly half of him. Jungkook lets out a pretty moan when he feels the tightness of your throat around his cock, closing his eyes for a moment. Tears sting your eyes when he pulls you back, your hands gripping his thighs for leverage.
He lets you catch your breath before pushing you down again, moving your head in a tempo to his liking. When he shoves his cock particularly deep into you, you gag, tears rolling down your cheeks. You’re an absolute mess when he pulls out.
“What a good girl you are,” Jungkook says, his voice hoarse and low. “You just love sucking cock, don’t you?” He rubs his sticky cock against your mouth before slapping his head against it. He moves to your right cheek, smearing the mess over your skin and lightly tapping his cock. “Hm, princess?” he asks softer, almost with fake sympathy. He raises his brows in question, looking down at you like there’s just you and no one else.
“Love it so much,” you agree, moving your head along to the mess he’s making on your face.
Putting his cock back into your mouth, Jungkook leans back, watching you with pleasure etched into his expression as you move your head swiftly, twisting your hand around the part you can’t reach.
“So good,” he mutters, his tatted hand against your cheek just to feel you.
You tug your dress down and bring his cock down to your tits. You spit between the valley of your tits, using his tip to catch it and spread it across your boobs. You moan when his head brushes over your perky nipples. You circle his cock around them in small movements, breathy puffs escaping your mouth with how sensitive you are.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Jungkook fondles one breast with his hand, kneading it with his long fingers. He lets a little drop of spit fall onto your chest too, hungrily watching as you rub it against your soft skin with his cock. “Just want a mess everywhere, right?”
You nod, dragging his cock back into your mouth because you just need to taste him.
Jungkook curses under his breath when you start playing with his balls with your other hand. “Fuck, baby. Gonna cum if you keep going.”
Music to your ears.
You continue, swirling your tongue around his cock as you move up and down, trying to go as deep as you can. You can tell he doesn’t want to cum yet, but he doesn’t drag you off his cock, he’s too needy and horny.
“Cum on my tits.” You shift, jerking his cock in front of your chest.
“You want me to?”
“Please,” you beg, pushing your tits together with your arm, looking up at him with big eyes.
He moans at that sight, spurts of cum shooting across your chest. He paints your tits white with a big load. Your mouth hangs open slightly at the cum dripping from his cock. You lick his cock clean before looking down at your tits.
“You came so much.” You hold your tits in your hands. You flick your finger through some of the cum, putting it in your cum afterwards.
“Fuck, ___, please.”
You giggle at his reaction. You rub the cum into your skin with his still hard cock before it can drip down and create and even bigger mess. Your tits are all shiny from his cum when you’re done.
A shaky breath bubbles from Jungkook’s mouth when you stroke him once more, for good measure. “Pretty sure you got every drop.” He taps your elbow, motioning for you to get up. “Come here.” He pats the bed. “Get on all fours for me.”
While you get comfy on your knees on his bed, he takes off his clothes. Jungkook pushes your dress up your ass, the fabric bunched around your waist.
Jungkook slides one finger between your legs, slowly tracing your pussy through your panties.
“My dick in your mouth got you so wet, huh?” He pushes your panties aside, uttering a soft groan at the sight of your slick pussy. “So needy for me.” He bends down and you can feel his breath on your folds.
“Jungkook, please,” you whine.
“Please?” he repeats. “Such a well-mannered girl.” His tongue darts out, licking a stripe across your pussy.
You’re so incredibly sensitive, been yearning for this for so long, that you back arches immediately, thighs starting to quiver at Jungkook’s mild torture with his tongue.
Jungkook moves to your clit. He switches from little flicks to your nub and sucking on it, creating wet and filthy noises. He’s skilled with his mouth – perhaps a bit too skilled for your liking. But right now, you don’t have the energy to think too deeply about it, you’re just focused on the tingling pleasure that shoots through your tummy.
“Right there, Kook. Don’t stop.”
You watch him through the mirror – the way he is keeping your cheeks apart with his hands, face buried between your thighs, fluffy hair bouncing along with his movements. So handsome, so pretty, so yours.
“Pussy tastes so fucking good,” He mumbles, his fingers sinking deeper into your skin.
“So close. Wanna cum, Jungkook.”
Jungkook hums against you, the vibration making your breath hitch. It’s just his mouth on your pussy, but he knows his way around, knows how to make you squirm.
The pressure builds, winding tight in your core, seconds from snapping. “Jungkook,” you gasp, voice wrecked. “I’m–”
He groans into you, gripping harder, and that’s it—that’s all it takes. The tension in your body breaks all at once, pleasure hitting so hard your vision goes hazy. A choked sound spills from your lips, legs trying to squeeze shut, but he doesn’t let you. Just stays there, working you through it, dragging it out until you’re nothing but shivers and gasps, completely undone beneath him.
Only then does he pull back, breathing heavy, lips slick and swollen. He looks up at you through the mirror, something dark, almost possessive in his gaze, and swipes his thumb over his mouth like he’s savouring the taste.
You look back at him, smiling at his shiny face. His lips are covered along with his chin and his nose and a bit of his cheeks.
“This is, like, one of your best looks.”
“What, fresh out the pussy?”
You giggle. “Yeah,” you mutter, swiping your finger over the tip of his nose to clean him.
“I could have my face buried down there forever. I don’t think you realise how good you taste.” You feel his finger spreading your folds. “But I know my girl is very needy, so she wants cock, hm?”
You sigh, melting into his touch when you feel him slap his dick against your pussy instead. “You know me so well.”
The dick slaps are so wet, and your haze-filled mind craves nothing more than for him to shove his cock inside you, raw and deep, filling you the way you need – no barriers, no hesitation.
But Jungkook is actually able to still form sensible thoughts through the horny haze and grabs a condom from his nightstand.
He doesn’t tease you much before he enters you, just slowly, inch by inch, sliding his cock inside you.
“You good, baby?”
“Uh-huh, you can move.”
You gasp, the feeling almost overwhelming but exactly what you wanted. His hands grip your hips, pulling you back toward him as he starts a steady pace from behind, each thrust making your head spin.
“Missed this pussy,” Jungkook rasps, sneaking one hand down to your ass to spank it, eliciting a surprised moan from you. “So tight, so perfect.” He grabs a handful of your ass. “So mine.”
He fucks you rough, doesn’t give you any chance to think of anything but him. Your hands are clutching at his covers, holding the fabric tightly in your palms.
You feel him spit down on your ass. He rubs his finger over your puckered hole, making you whine and bite your lip at the feeling.
“Oh, Jungkook.” He slides his thumb inside, just the tip of his finger, and yet it feels like so much more, the pleasure intensifying.
“You’re such a slut for me, aren’t you?” he asks, not stopping his relentless pace. “Love getting all your holes filled. So, so dirty.” Contempt is dripping from his voice, and you can’t help but have your pussy throbbing at that.
“Just for you,” you breathe. “Just you, Jungkook.”
“That’s, right.” He pushes his thumb a bit deeper, making your fingers tighten around Jungkook’s sheets. “You’re my girl.”
Your heart is racing, pulse pounding in your ears, and all you can do is nod, your body responding to him without thought, your need for him overwhelming.
With his other hand he tugs at your hair, wrapping it around his hand and creating a makeshift ponytail.
“Look at how pretty you look.”
You turn your head to the mirror. Your back is fully arched, and Jungkook’s all over your, his muscled and tatted body towering over you with his cock deeply buried inside your pussy.
He withdraws his thumb from your hole, delivering another spank to your ass.
“Make me go fucking crazy,” he mumbles, wrapping his hand around your tummy and pulling you up against his chest.
“Kook,” you mumble, resting your head in the crook of his neck. You don’t know what you want, only that you’re feeling this irresistible pull to him, like you want to be even closer to him.
He lets your hair go, moving his hand to your tits and squeezing them.
“Cum with me,” he whispers into your ear, immediately sending shivers down your spine. “Look at yourself when you cum, baby. Want you to see how pretty you are.”
When he sneaks his hand that was wrapped around your tummy down between your legs and starts flicking his fingers over your clit, it’s officially over for you.
You still try to keep your eyes open like Jungkook told you so as you teeter off the edge, your climax consuming you. You watch him come undone too, his brows knitted together, and bottom lip caught between his teeth.
You’re weak on your knees, but Jungkook keeps you firm to his chest, not letting fall as he thrusts into you in a slower, sloppier pace. He peppers your neck and shoulders with little kisses, and you giggle a little, delirious on your high. Your hand reaches for his bicep and you squeeze it.
His skin is hot under your touch, muscles flexing as he holds you up, keeping you steady against him. The slow drag of his movements sends waves of overstimulation through your body, but you don’t pull away.
“I know, baby.” Jungkook hums against your shoulder, his lips still ghosting over your skin, pressing lazy kisses between heavy breaths. “Still with me?” he murmurs, voice low, teasing, as his fingers brush down your sides.
You nod, melting further into him, body pliant against his.
Jungkook pulls out. You whine at the loss. He tosses the condom on the floor – you're too spent to tell him how gross that is – and shifts on the bed, lying down together with you.
His arm drapes over your waist, pulling you close, your body naturally moulding into his like it’s second nature. His skin is still warm, his breaths deep and steady as he settles beside you.
You glance down on yourself – you’re a mess. Panties still on, just pulled to the side like he liked, dress bunched around your waist, evidence of him all over you.
“Can I take a shower before I leave?”
“Sure.”
You wait.
You look up at Jungkook. “You’re not gonna ask if you can join me?”
“I thought that was clear?”
You smile. “Good.”
“Hey – will you now tell me what you wrote in your journal about me?”
“I know we’re back to being friends with benefits, but please know your place.”
choso kamo is the kind of boy people notice without realizing they’re staring. he’s not loud, never one to demand a room’s attention, but something about him pulls you in, the lazy grace of someone who’s always just a little bit stoned and completely at peace with himself.
he throws the best parties on campus, the kind that aren’t just about getting drunk or high, but about the vibe. incense burning in the corner, led lights set to red or purple, trap playing softly over speakers. and yet, you’re the only one who really knows him.
you, the sweet girl who never misses a single one of his parties. the one always curled up next to him on the couch with a red solo cup of something you can barely taste, your legs draped over his lap, your cheek pressed to his shoulder. it’s always been like this. ever since freshman year, when you met him during that stupid icebreaker event on campus that neither of you wanted to go to.
somehow, you’d ended up next to him. not even talking at first. just being. and then he’d pulled one earbud out and offered it to you without saying anything, and you’d heard frank ocean’s “ivy” playing soft and crackly from his phone. you’d smiled at him, and he’d smiled back. just a little.
after that, it was like something clicked. you didn’t have to try with choso. you just existed in each other’s space like you were meant to.
you’re sweet, outgoing, a little flirty, always the first one to compliment someone’s outfit or remember their birthday. people love you for your light, your laughter, the way you make everyone feel seen.
but when it comes to closeness, to real comfort? that’s reserved for choso.
it’s a mystery to most people. you, the glittering, glowing party girl, and choso, the stoner boy who doesn’t even have social media. but it makes perfect sense to anyone who’s seen the two of you together.
you show up to his parties before anyone else does. you help him string the lights, pick the playlist, bring snacks no one asked for but everyone eats. you’re the one sitting on the counter while he rolls, sipping from a straw and babbling about your week while he nods, smiling faintly, muttering things like “that’s wild, ma,” or “yo, you’re too nice for them.”
and during the parties, you’re never far. you gravitate toward each other like magnets, slipping into place the way you always do. choso’s usually on the couch, arms stretched over the backrest, and you’re tucked under his arm without even thinking. you lean into him when you laugh. he rests his chin on your shoulder. he passes you drinks and you take tiny sips before handing them back to him with a wrinkle of your nose.
and it’s so easy. dangerously easy.
choso’s never been one to push. he’s got feelings, real ones, deeper than he’ll ever admit out loud, but he keeps them buried. not because he doesn’t want you. he wants you in a way that scares him sometimes. in quiet moments, when he’s too high and you’re asleep on his chest, he thinks about what it would feel like to kiss you. to be yours for real. but he’s content, at least for now. content to have you like this.
you give choso a kind of peace he didn’t know he was missing. before you, things were kind of blurry. background noise. but with you, it’s all color. you laugh and the whole room tilts toward you. you touch his hand and it’s like static electricity under his skin. he pretends he doesn’t notice. he jokes, he teases, he lets it pass.
because he thinks he’d rather have you like this, close and real and warm, than risk losing you completely.
and you? you love him. maybe too much.
you’ve never said it out loud, not even to maki or shoko, but you know it. you feel it every time you see him laugh at something you said, every time he lifts your chin to tuck your hair behind your ear, every time he waits for you outside class just because he felt like it. choso is yours, in a way no one else is. and you don’t know what to do with that.
maybe you’re scared to ruin it too.
it’s not just the friendship, it’s the rhythm. the quiet glances, the shared playlists, the way you always, always end up in his bed after parties, clothes still on, hearts too full.
you’ll lay there in the dark, both of you wide awake, and you’ll wonder if he feels it too. if he notices the way your breath hitches when his fingers brush your waist. if he hears the way your voice gets softer when you say his name.
but neither of you ever says anything. not really. not yet.
there’s something unsaid between you, always has been, something glowing and soft and maybe a little fragile. like the chords of “ivy” hanging in the air, too tender to touch. it’s in the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. in the way you linger at his door after a party, lip gloss smudged and heart aching. in the way he lets his hand rest on the small of your back just a little too long.
it’s a love that’s still blooming. hesitant. deep-rooted. and for now, maybe that’s enough.
maybe not forever.
~
the party’s already full by the time you get there, but you know exactly where to find him.
bass thumps through the floor like a second pulse, red lights spilling down the hallway, laughter echoing from the kitchen where someone’s poured jungle juice into a mixing bowl. bodies press close in the living room, the air thick with smoke, perfume, sweat, but none of it touches you. not really. not when you know where you’re going.
you slip past people who call your name, who compliment your outfit, who try to keep you still, but you’re already moving, already smiling like you’ve got a secret. because you do.
he’s on the couch. he always is.
slouched like he was poured there, long legs spread, a blunt pinched between his fingers. there’s a few people around him, suguru’s sitting on the floor, half-asleep against his knee, gojo’s perched on the armrest talking to some girl, but he doesn’t really look at anyone. just stares at the smoke curling above him, the red light making shadows under his eyes.
until he sees you.
choso’s head tilts slightly. his gaze sharpens, just barely. his mouth softens, corners curling up into something small, lazy, private.
“yo,” he says, voice low and smooth like honeyed smoke. “there you are.”
and just like that, you’re home.
you drop down next to him without a word, tucking your legs up on the couch, leaning into his side like you were made to fit there. his arm lifts automatically to rest behind you, and your bare shoulder brushes against his chest, skin to skin. he smells like weed and citrus and something warm, like sunbaked cotton. familiar. dangerous.
“i brought you chips,” you say, holding up a bag. “because you never remember to feed people when you throw these things.”
he laughs, soft and breathy, and takes the bag, tossing it onto the table without looking.
“you’re the only one who eats at my parties,” he murmurs, dragging the blunt to his lips. “they’re lucky you show up.”
he inhales, slow and deep. lets it sit in his chest for a moment. then he turns his head toward you and exhales, deliberately, slow, a trail of smoke that ghosts over your collarbone. it’s not on purpose, but it is. everything choso does is like that. unbothered. intimate. effortless.
your heart stutters.
“you look good,” he adds, like it just occurred to him. his eyes dip, trace your legs, the cut of your dress, the gloss on your lips. “real good.”
you smile, sweet and slow, like you’re soaking it in.
“you’re stoned.”
he shrugs. “yeah. still true, though.”
you nudge his thigh with your knee, and he smirks that lazy, barely-there grin that never quite reaches his eyes unless it’s you.
the party swells around you. bodies dance in the center of the room, the music gets louder, someone’s yelling in the kitchen about the beer pong table. but in your little corner of the couch, everything is slowed down. hazy. sacred.
he keeps passing the blunt, and you keep refusing with that little scrunch of your nose he always teases you about.
“don’t know how you come to my house every week and still don’t smoke,” he says, flicking ash into a red solo cup.
“don’t know how you survive without eating dinner like an adult,” you shoot back.
he chuckles, tipping his head back. his throat stretches long, his hoodie slipping off one shoulder to reveal the black ink of a tattoo just under his collarbone. you don’t even pretend not to look. choso doesn’t pretend not to notice.
“you missed me?” he asks after a beat, quieter now. the smoke’s made him slow, softer around the edges. more honest.
you glance up at him, lips parted. “i was here last weekend.”
“yeah, and then the whole week happened.” he shrugs, lazily. “i got bored.”
you nudge your way closer. your knee slides between his. “you say that like you don’t have other friends.”
he hums. “don’t hit the same.”
you’re both quiet for a second. it’s a thick, heady silence, not awkward, not tense. just full. full of everything that’s been building since freshman year. everything you don’t say. everything you both feel in moments like this, when you’re a little too close and he’s looking at your mouth and his hand is resting just a little too low on your waist.
you want to kiss him. god, you do. but not yet. not here.
so instead you lean forward, just enough to rest your head on his shoulder. you feel him go still for a second, then relax, melting back into you.
you stay like that. for a long time
later, when the house gets louder and hotter and someone pulls you up to dance, you feel his eyes on you.
you’re not a wild dancer, you move like you’re in your own little world, fluid and soft and smiling. some guy tries to grind up behind you and you immediately peel away, laughing as you shake your head. but when you look over, just once, you see choso watching from the couch.
his eyes are darker now. still lazy, still half-lidded, but focused. pinned on you like he’s memorizing the way your dress moves, the way your hair sticks to the sweat on your collarbone. one hand resting on his knee. the blunt long gone.
you move back to him eventually, of course you do, and he opens the space beside him again like he knew you would.
“have fun out there, superstar?” he asks, gaze flicking over you.
you shrug, settling back into him. “missed my favorite dance partner.”
he raises a brow. “you don’t dance with me.”
you grin. “exactly.”
he snorts, shaking his head. you rest your hand on his thigh, fingers splayed over ripped denim, and he doesn’t flinch. doesn’t move. just lets you stay there. touching him. like you always do.
like you always will.
when the party starts dying down and the lights dim even lower, when suguru’s asleep and gojo’s disappeared and the couch is just the two of you again, you curl into him like you belong there.
he yawns, one arm around your shoulders, hand playing lazily with the strap of your dress.
“you crashing here?” he asks, already knowing the answer.
you nod, cheek pressed to his chest. “if that’s cool.”
he makes a soft sound, something between a hum and a laugh, and dips his chin to brush his mouth against your temple. not a kiss, exactly. just a press. warm, soft. barely there.
“always.”
you smile, closing your eyes for a second. his hand is still resting on your waist, fingers tracing absent little shapes into your skin like he’s not even thinking about it.
you could fall asleep like this. you’ve done it before.
but he shifts a little, murmurs, “come on, ma. let’s get off this fuckin’ couch. my back’s killin’ me.”
you whine quietly as he moves, and he laughs again, a lazy rumble in his chest and slides an arm around your waist to help you up.
“drama queen,” he says, tugging you to your feet with effortless strength.
he doesn’t let go.
you move through the sea of red cups and leftover smoke, past the people half-passed out in the hallway, with his hand still slung around your waist. like it’s normal. like it’s instinct. your arm hooks around his middle, and you lean into his side as you walk, slow and steady, like you’ve done this a hundred times. because you have.
choso’s room is down the hall. it’s the only one with a broken doorknob and a blacklight taped above the bed, buzzing faintly. it smells like weed and clean laundry and him.
you kick off your shoes the second you walk in and collapse face-first into the unmade bed, limbs spread.
he laughs, low and indulgent, then flops down beside you.
“yo, scoot over,” he mumbles, nudgin your hip with his.
“you scoot,” you shoot back, voice muffled by the blanket.
he doesn’t argue. just lets his body melt sideways until your shoulders touch again. you shift your head onto his chest without thinking, cheek to the soft fabric of his hoodie.
and there it is again. home.
“this party was kinda ass,” you say.
“nah,” he says softly. “you were here.”
your stomach flips.
but you don’t say anything. don’t need to. you just lie there, breathing in sync, your hands curled in the hem of his hoodie while his fingers play with your hair, slow, lazy twirls that make your eyelids flutter.
“remember the first one?” you ask, voice hushed now. “the freshman-year party where we met?”
choso smiles at the ceiling. “fuck yeah. you were wearing that little white dress and yellin’ at some guy who spilled beer on your shoes.”
“he ruined them,” you murmur indignantly.
“and i was just sittin’ on the porch, watchin’ the whole thing,” he grins. “high as shit. thought you were hot as hell.”
you lift your head to look at him, one brow raised. “you still say you don’t remember how we ended up talking.”
“i don’t. swear to god.” he shrugs. “one second i’m finishing a blunt, next thing i know you’re sitting next to me like you’d been there forever.”
“i probably just decided you looked safe,” you say, settling back down. “and hot. but, like, quiet hot.”
he chuckles, slow and low. “quiet hot?”
you nod. “like… hot in a way that doesn’t try. like you didn’t even know it.”
“damn,” he mutters. “flirting with me now?”
“always.”
his hand slides down from your hair to your shoulder, warm and broad and steady.
“that’s why i fuck with you,” he says after a moment. “you’re real.”
you blink.
“like, people show up to my parties for the vibes or whatever. you show up to make sure i eat dinner.”
you laugh. “well someone has to.”
“nah, but for real,” he says. “you’ve been showin’ up since day one. always got my back. always know what i need before i even do. shit’s crazy.”
your throat goes tight. but he doesn’t sound emotional. he sounds calm. sure. like it’s just a fact of life, gravity, weed, you.
he doesn’t say it like it’s a confession.
he says it like it’s just the truth.
“you do the same for me,” you murmur, voice small.
his thumb strokes your arm, slow.
“yeah,” he says. “i know.”
the room hums with silence after that. not heavy. not awkward. just real.
he lets you lie there on his chest, the beat of his heart under your ear, the rise and fall of his breathing making you feel safe in a way nothing else does.
you shift after a few minutes, and his hand moves automatically , tugs the blanket up over you both, settles you closer, fingers smoothing over your arm like it’s second nature.
he doesn’t flirt with anyone the way he does with you. doesn’t touch anyone like this. people know you’re close, but they don’t get it.
they don’t know how choso listens to you rant for hours about your classes even when he’s half-asleep. how he always keeps snacks in his room he doesn’t like, just because you do. how he’s seen you cry at 3am and didn’t say a word, just pulled you onto his chest and played with your hair until you calmed down.
how you’ve cleaned up after every party. how you always know when he needs water. how you never smoke but you always light his blunts for him.
they don’t know that you’ve been doing this, just like this, since freshman year.
you’re not together.
but this? this is something else.
“you good?” he mumbles, his voice starting to get gravelly with sleep.
you nod, curled into his side.
“you?”
“mhmm.” he exhales through his nose, deep and slow. “don’t leave before i wake up.”
“i never do.”
he hums, already drifting.
you close your eyes.
"night, cho."
"night, babe."
and in the dark, in his bed, wrapped in the quiet warmth of choso’s heartbeat and the hush of something unspoken between you, you fall asleep.
right where you’re supposed to be.
~
the sun’s too fucking bright.
choso’s got his hood pulled low, hands stuffed in the front pocket of his faded sweatshirt, hoodie sleeves bunched at his wrists like armor against the cold. his airpods are in, but he’s not playing anything. just using them to avoid eye contact. to avoid people.
his chem lecture starts in twelve minutes. he’s not rushing.
he’s never rushing.
the quad’s half-full with undergrads moving in packs, laughing too loud for this hour. he weaves through them like a shadow, dark-eyed and slow-moving, sleep still clinging to his bones.
he hasn’t showered. hasn’t brushed his hair. smells faintly like weed and sleep and your lotion, the floral kind you always keep in your bag.
he’s halfway across the quad when he hears it.
“yo.”
he looks up.
toji.
posted up on a low wall near the main staircase, nursing a large iced coffee and wearing the same zip-up he’s worn every morning since choso met him. he looks good, like he always does, jaw sharp, eyes tired, posture loose in that older-guy way that makes people think twice about messing with him.
choso pulls out one airpod. “yo.”
“you look like shit,” toji says, amused.
choso shrugs. “feel fine.”
“late night?”
“always.”
toji grins. “bet.”
choso wanders over, boots crunching gravel, and leans against the wall next to him. toji’s got that lazy menace vibe, like he could break someone’s nose or fall asleep in the sun, it could go either way. choso respects it.
they’re not close, but they’re good.
“you throw last night?” toji asks.
“yeah. packed out.”
“heard. saw some dude getting dragged out by the neck around one.”
choso huffs a little. “sukuna. again.”
“no shit?” toji laughs. “that guy’s a walking lawsuit.”
“got blood on my stairs,” choso mutters. “ruined the rug.”
“tragic.”
they’re quiet for a second. choso watches a squirrel dart across the walkway. toji sips his coffee.
“how much you make off the door?”
“couple hundred. enough for groceries. gas. weed.”
toji nods like that’s the natural order of things. “you ever think about pledging?”
choso snorts. “nah.”
“you’d run that shit,” toji says. “turn those little rich boys inside out.”
“i’m not good with rules.”
“fuck rules.”
choso grins a little. “you sound like yuki.”
“i taught yuki,” toji says, deadpan.
that gets a real laugh out of choso, low and amused, breath curling in the cold air.
“you got chem?” toji asks after a moment.
“yeah. lab.”
“tough.”
“i'm so fucking hungover.”
toji smirks. “so. last night. you go home alone?”
choso shrugs. “nah. crashed with her.”
toji looks at him. not surprised. not shocked. just curious.
“y/n?”
“yeah.”
a beat.
“you guys together now or what?”
choso looks up, brows drawn. “nah.”
toji raises an eyebrow. “huh. figured that would’ve happened by now.”
“why?”
“you’re always with her.”
“yeah.”
“you sleep in the same bed?”
choso shrugs again, easy and lowkey like it doesn’t mean anything. like it’s normal. “all the time.”
toji whistles under his breath, grinning. “you’re a better man than me.”
“not like that,” choso mutters, looking away.
“right,” toji says, smirking. “not like that.”
choso stays quiet. doesn’t explain. doesn’t elaborate. he just lets it sit in the air between them like secondhand smoke, warm, familiar, a little dangerous.
because it isn’t like that.
not yet.
but toji doesn’t push. just nods, takes another slow sip of his coffee, and claps choso on the shoulder with a rough hand.
“you’re cool,” he says. “but if you ever fuck that up, someone else won’t be.”
choso just exhales through his nose. shrugs.
he knows.
he knows.
~
choso slouches in his stool at station 4B, safety goggles pushed up into his messy hair, long fingers lazily rotating a test tube over the bunsen flame. he’s supposed to be running a titration, but he’s running on three hours of sleep and an edible that hasn’t stopped hitting since breakfast.
there’s a small chemical fire happening at the next table over. he doesn’t care.
his partner, some girl from his gen chem section who only speaks in whispers and perfume, scribbles answers onto their worksheet like her life depends on it. she’s never once asked him to help. choso’s fine with that.
his phone buzzes in his hoodie pocket. he pulls it out without looking, thumb unlocking the screen by feel. it’s instinct. the way he always knows when it’s you.
[10:37am] you: what class r u in rn
[10:38am] choso: chem
[10:38am] you: ew
[10:38am] choso: yea
[10:39am] you: wanna meet up after?? i’m bored
[10:39am] choso: wya
the response comes fast.
[10:40am] you: bleachers behind the field. bring snacks or i’ll cry.
choso smiles.
it’s the kind of smile he never shows anyone but you. lazy. lowkey. like a secret he doesn’t need to say out loud.
he texts back a thumbs up emoji. tucks his phone away. watches the blue flame flicker under the test tube like it’s trying to tell him something.
~
the bleachers behind the athletic field are barely standing. rusted metal, cracked paint, half the steps warped from years of cleat-stomped abuse. it’s one of the only spots on campus that still feels untouched, still feels yours. people don’t hang out here. it’s too open, too weird, too quiet.
perfect.
you’re already there when he shows up, sprawled across the middle row like it’s a chaise lounge, sunglasses perched low on your nose and a bag of kettle chips open in your lap.
you perk up when you see him. smile wide and lazy. “you brought me snacks?”
he lifts a 7/11 bag in greeting.
“you’re an angel,” you say, and you sound like you mean it. choso climbs up beside you, drops the bag between you, and sits with a long sigh like the weight of the whole morning finally got the memo that it can fuck off.
he lets himself lean back on his elbows, head tipped toward the sky. hoodie sleeves pushed up to the elbow. hands ringed in silver, knuckles faintly bruised from last night. jaw sharp, neck tattoo peeking just above his collar.
you glance over at him, bottom lip tucked between your teeth for a second too long.
he doesn’t notice.
or maybe he does.
but he doesn’t say anything.
“what happened in chem?” you ask, voice slow with sunlight.
“almost set the bench on fire,” he says. “again."
you laugh, and it’s the good kind, low and warm and familiar, like something soft you wrap yourself in. “you’re gonna fail.”
“nah,” he murmurs. “i got you. you’ll cry to shoko for me.”
you shrug. “probably.”
he grins.
you eat chips together for a while in comfortable silence. people jog past on the track below, but it’s like the two of you exist in another timeline, quieter, slower, deeper. every time your shoulders bump, he doesn’t move away. every time your fingers brush in the snack bag, he lets it linger.
you pull out a cherry lollipop from your tote. unwrap it with delicate, distracted fingers. stick it between your lips and suck thoughtfully.
choso looks over. blinks once.
his throat bobs. “you eat candy like you’re in a music video.”
“duh,” you say. “gotta stay on brand.”
“your brand is slutty candy princess?”
you flash him a wink. “you know it.”
he groans into his hands. “you’re gonna kill me.”
“you’d like it.”
“maybe.”
you both laugh.
but underneath it, there’s a tension you don’t touch. not yet. not today. not when the sun is this warm and the wind is this soft and the space between you feels like a bubble no one else can pop.
“so what’d you tell toji?” you ask suddenly, pulling your legs up under you. “he asked about us, right?”
choso blinks. shifts.
“how’d you know that?”
“i just saw him talking to you this morning and you rushed of before i could catch up.”
he sighs. rubs a hand over his face. “just asked about some dumb shit, was surprised we aren't fucking.”
“oh yeah?”
“yeah.”
you hum. “what’d you say?”
he shrugs. “told him we’re just friends.”
you nod.
but your fingers are tight around your lollipop stick. “did he buy it?”
choso looks over at you. eyes half-lidded, lazy. “dunno. didn’t really care.”
you don’t speak for a second.
then—
“you know,” you say lightly, “if we were dating, people wouldn’t question it.”
he raises a brow. “you wanna date me?”
you laugh like it’s a joke. like the idea’s crazy. “obviously not. i’d ruin your whole vibe.”
“nah,” he says, quiet and cool. “you are my vibe.”
it knocks the air out of you a little.
you don’t reply.
he doesn’t push.
instead, he pulls a lighter from his pocket. a faded red bic with a sticker of a cartoon frog on the side.
“you mind?” he asks.
you shake your head. “go for it.”
he lights the joint behind the bleachers, careful to block the wind, and takes a slow hit like he’s been doing it his whole life. like breathing.
you watch the way his lips part. the way the smoke curls from his mouth. the way he blinks up at the sky, exhaling slow, like there’s nothing in the world that could ruin this moment.
he passes it to you.
you hold it between two fingers. bring it to your lips, but don’t inhale. you just like the closeness. the ritual. the rhythm of it.
“you always smell like weed and coconuts,” you say absently.
“you always smell like sleep and candy.”
“that a compliment?”
“you know it is.”
you smile.
and then, like always, you shift until your head is in his lap, knees bent, lollipop back between your lips.
he threads his fingers into your hair like it’s automatic. like muscle memory.
you don’t say anything.
you don’t have to.
“there’s a party saturday,” choso says, like it’s just a passing thought. his voice is mellow, dragged slow with smoke and sun.
you squint up at him from his lap, one leg kicking idly off the edge of the bleachers. “yours?”
he shakes his head, dragging another pull from the joint before it sizzles low. “nah. kappa’s.”
“toji’s place?”
“mhm. sukuna’s throwin’ it.”
you make a face. “ew.”
he laughs, lazy and low. “yeah, i know.”
“what kinda party is it?”
he shrugs, flicking ash off to the side. “dunno. probly loud. messy. overrun with freshmen.”
“my favorite,” you say sarcastically.
“come anyway.”
you raise a brow. “you want me to go?”
he nods, eyes still soft from the joint. “yeah. all our people are gonna be there. gojo’s bringing that speaker he stole from the rec center. suguru’s bringing weed from the plug that scares everyone but him. shoko said she’s pre-gaming at yours.”
“she didn’t tell me that,” you mutter, amused.
“she said quote, ‘i’m getting blackout on your floor so you better have mixers.’”
“classic.”
“maki’s going too,” he adds. “and yuuji. megumi. nobara. y’all can take over the kitchen or whatever.”
you snort. “we always end up doing that. turning some random frat kitchen into our private lounge.”
“better lighting.”
“less vomit.”
he taps his knuckle to your forehead. “so?”
you blink at him. “so what?”
“you comin’?”
you stretch your arms over your head, lollipop tucked in your cheek like a secret. “mmm, depends. who’s walking me home if i black out?”
he gives you a look. “me."
“who’s holding my hair if i puke?”
“me.”
“who’s dancing with me when they put on early 2000s throwbacks?”
he smirks. “you already know.”
you grin and nuzzle into his thigh dramatically. “ugh, fine. i guess i’ll go.”
“what an honor.”
“you’re welcome.”
he flicks the roach away and leans back again, hood falling down to rest at the nape of his neck. you stare up at him for a second, at the sharp angle of his jaw, the lashes curled against his cheeks, the faint bruises of exhaustion under his eyes.
there’s something warm in your chest.
like always.
“what time’s it at?” you ask.
“late.”
“when are we getting there?”
“later.”
you smile. “as always.”
“as always,” he echoes.
you reach over, fingers brushing the side of his hoodie pocket where his lighter peeks out, red and fading, sticker peeling at the edges.
he doesn’t notice.
but you do.
you always do.
~
the sun has long since set when you’re back in your dorm.
shoko’s stuff is already half-scattered across your bed, a tote bag overflowing with lip gloss and tequila, her ripped denim skirt folded beside your pillow like it lives here. your bluetooth speaker is charging in the corner. your fairy lights are glowing dim, and the whole room smells like something between vanilla lotion and sharpie markers.
because you’re painting.
your desk is a mess of scattered brushes, scratched acrylics, and an empty matcha can you’ve been using as a water cup. right in the center sits the new bic lighter you picked up after social, jet black, perfectly smooth, untouched.
you’re painting red spider lilies across the front, his favourite.
the petals curl across the plastic like veins, wet with gloss and attention. you’re careful with the details. you’ve looked up references. you’ve done this before.
but this time’s different.
this one’s for him.
you don’t know why, exactly. maybe it’s because his old one’s going dead.
maybe it’s because you love him.
not like that.
not yet.
but in the way you know exactly how he likes his ramen. in the way he texts you “home?” when it’s late and doesn’t sleep until you answer. in the way he rolls his blunts left-handed and always lights yours first. in the way he remembers your mom’s birthday even though he’s never met her.
in the way he makes you feel safe in a room full of noise.
in the way he never tries to make you anything other than yourself.
you lean over the lighter, the brush held steady between your fingers, and add the final line of gold detailing around the petals. your breath fogs the surface. you wait for it to dry.
outside, someone blasts a bad edm remix. the party’s already pulsing down the block.
you aren’t ready yet.
but you will be.
because he asked.
because you always go when he asks.
by the time you and shoko step into the kappa house, it’s already hell in there.
there’s music vibrating the walls, some mashup of jersey club and distorted britney spears, smoke curling from doorways, the reek of beer and weed and something you hope is a vape cloud drifting from the stairs. someone’s already swinging a half-finished bottle of patrón in the foyer, and a guy in a spiked collar is passed out half-naked on the pool table. red LEDs paint the room like a warning.
“jesus,” shoko mutters, pushing through a knot of people. “it’s worse than last time.”
“that’s saying a lot,” you reply, laughing.
you pass a makeshift tattoo station set up in the kitchen, a foldable table, three guys with gloves and prison-grade guns, girls taking shots with their shirts off, someone yelling about cross-contamination. someone else is already screaming into a paper towel, gripping their friend’s thigh as ink bleeds into skin.
“how much you wanna bet that guy’s not even licensed?” shoko asks, pointing with her cup.
a few feet away, a couple is practically devouring each other on the couch, hands in places that definitely shouldn’t be public, their moans barely muffled over the bassline. you and shoko share a glance.
“ten bucks says they’ll be upstairs in five,” she says.
“two,” you shoot back.
you find the rest of your girls near the island, maki’s drinking straight from a bottle of dark rum, nobara’s yelling at some guy for calling her “sweetheart,” and miwa looks like she’s trying to spiritually leave her body.
“there you bitches are,” nobara says, throwing an arm over your shoulders. “i was gonna beat some freshman’s ass for trying to say you weren’t on the guest list.”
“i just got here!” you laugh, letting shoko pull you in tighter. “i haven’t even taken my jacket off!"
“well hurry up,” nobara insists, pouring something violently pink into a solo cup and handing it to you. “this night’s cursed already.”
you take a cautious sip, bubblegum and battery acid. “what the hell is this?”
“it’s called the thong dropper,” shoko says helpfully.
“girl.”
you let the chaos swirl around you for a bit, settling into the rhythm of things, catching up on nonsense, swapping wild stories, dodging spilled drinks and clumsy hands. nobara starts talking about some guy she hooked up with last week, rolling her eyes and groaning dramatically.
“his stroke game was so weak,” she says, slamming her cup down. “he kept asking me ‘is that good?’ like—cmon. do you not hear me faking it?”
maki snorts. “you faked it?”
“of course i did. i had to get it over with.”
shoko leans in. “rookie mistake. just tell ‘em straight up.”
“i can’t crush a man’s ego like that,” nobara defends.
“they’ll live,” maki says.
you giggle into your drink, letting the warmth buzz up your spine.
“what about you?” shoko nudges. “you getting any lately?”
you shrug, trying to hide your smirk. “define ‘getting.’”
they all ooh at that, but you wave them off.
“nah,” you add quickly. “just been… chillin’.”
nobara raises a brow. “chillin’ with who?”
you don’t answer.
you don’t have to.
because you just spotted him.
across the room, slouched low on the ratty couch like a king on a broken throne, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, blunt glowing between his fingers, is choso.
he’s got his head tipped back, laughing at something gojo just said, eyes heavy-lidded and hazy, lips pink and glossy from smoke. his legs are spread wide, rings catching the LED lights, and there’s a plastic crown crooked on his head like someone dared him to wear it and he just went along with it.
you hand your cup to shoko. “back in a sec.”
you beeline straight to him.
he sees you coming, of course. always does.
“yo,” he says, voice syrup-thick, laced in that lazy drawl you know too well. “there she is.”
you plop onto the couch next to him, thigh pressed to his instantly, as natural as breathing.
“hey, babe.”
he pulls the blunt from his lips and passes it to gojo. “you look hot,” he murmurs, eyes scanning over you. “like… stupid hot.”
you grin. “you’re high.”
“and you’re hot.”
“so high.”
gojo chuckles. “he’s been saying that about everyone for the last twenty minutes. told sukuna his chains looked ‘shiny as fuck’ and that he was proud of him.”
“and i meant it,” choso says, nodding solemnly.
“sukunas a menace,” you laugh.
“a sweet menace,” choso adds.
gojo tosses the blunt into an ashtray and stretches. “aight. i’m gonna go find the aux before someone puts on country again.”
“godspeed,” you tell him.
choso watches him disappear into the crowd before turning back to you. “you good?”
you nod. “girls are wild tonight.”
“when aren’t they?”
you smile. “party’s kinda gross, though.”
he grins. “yeah. it’s ass.”
“i missed your parties.”
he hums, dragging a slow breath through his nose. “next week. tuesday.”
“a tuesday party?”
“hell yeah.”
you laugh softly, eyes dropping to the front pocket of his hoodie. his lighter’s there again, the red one. the same one from earlier, edges worn down like it’s been used a thousand times.
without saying anything, you reach into your jacket pocket.
he watches you curiously as you pull out the lighter you painted, black and glossy, the spider lilies blooming across the surface in blood-red ink and gold veins.
you hand it to him wordlessly.
his fingers brush yours as he takes it, and something in his face shifts, softens, quiets.
he turns it over slowly in his palm, eyes scanning every detail like he’s memorizing it.
“you painted this?”
you nod.
“ma…” he says under his breath, almost like it’s too much. “yo. this is… this is fucking beautiful.”
“your other one’s dying,” you say, a little shy now. “figured you needed a new one.”
he’s quiet for a second, blinking slowly.
then—
“you’re such a fuckin’ angel.”
you laugh. “it’s literally just a lighter.”
he doesn’t let his gaze leave it. “nah. it’s you.”
you blink.
he says it so casually. so high. so him.
like it’s just a fact.
you don’t say anything, and neither does he. the music swells. the lights flicker. people scream and laugh and break things somewhere in the background.
but right now, it’s just the two of you, and a lighter between your palms.
“you’re gonna make me cry,” you joke, even though the way he keeps looking at the lighter makes your chest feel a little too full.
choso doesn’t answer, just keeps running his thumb over the curves of it like it’s some delicate artifact, black with the glossy gleam of fresh paint, those red lilies blooming across the surface like blood in water.
he flicks it once. flame bursts up.
“perfect,” he mumbles.
“it works?”
“better than my soul, babe.”
you laugh, leaning your head against his shoulder, and for a few seconds everything around you falls away, just the throb of the music, the warm press of him, and the soft flicker of that tiny orange flame between his fingers.
you sit like that for a little while, talking about nothing. him complaining about a group project he hasn’t started. you teasing him for skipping chem lab again. him promising you some “next-level weed” for tuesday’s party that “tastes like peaches and existential dread.”
his voice is slow, syrup-thick, a little slurred at the ends. he’s stoned, clearly, but you’re used to this. used to the way he leans into you when he’s like this, heavy and unguarded, every thought coming out a little slower and more unfiltered. it’s a version of him that doesn’t get tired of looking at you.
he tugs at the hem of your jacket playfully. “you gonna stay with me tonight?”
you raise a brow. “didn’t plan on going anywhere else.”
he grins, that sleepy smile that makes your heart tick funny.
then your name cuts through the room, pitched over the music.
“oh shit,” you say, glancing over your shoulder. “they’re calling me.”
choso hums, not looking away. “tell ‘em i said hi.”
you hesitate for a second, not wanting to leave the warm bubble you’ve curled into. but shoko’s waving you over, and maki’s already halfway across the room with a bottle in her hand and trouble in her eyes.
“i’ll be back,” you say, giving his knee a squeeze as you get up.
he watches you go, eyes dragging over your silhouette, that sway in your hips, the flash of your smile as nobara yells something at you that makes you laugh and flip her off in the same breath.
then he’s alone.
not really, the house is packed, pulsing with bodies and music and smoke, but alone in the way that matters.
the lighter’s still in his hand.
and it won’t stop looking like you.
'she fuckin’ made this.'
that thought loops through his head in lazy spirals. he stares down at it like he’s still not fully processing that it’s his now, the way it fits so perfect in his palm, like you painted it with him in mind, like you know his hands that well.
(which you do.)
'what an angel', he thinks again, your face still ghosted in his mind.
he’s high. so high. his body feels like a heartbeat, slow and deep and pulsing warm. and the lighter, it keeps dragging him back to that moment on the couch, your thigh against his, your fingers brushing his, your quiet little smile when he lit it up for the first time.
'she always does shit like this. just makes stuff better. without even tryin’.'
it hits him all at once, sudden and full-body.
he needs to mark this. this moment. this feeling.
he’s already pulling out his phone before the thought’s even fully formed, scrolling through the camera roll he swore he didn’t care about but secretly checks too often. blurry candids, selfies with you curled against his chest, that pic from two weeks ago when you were looking up at him from the floor of his room with a red gummy in your mouth and sleep in your eyes.
he pauses there.
your eyes in that picture. big, soft, glassy, sexy.
his thumb hovers over the screen.
“yo,” a familiar voice calls, sauntering through the haze. “you look fried.”
sukuna.
choso glances up. “am fried.”
sukuna grins. “figured. that couch is cursed, by the way. guy got a blowie on it last week during pong night.”
choso shrugs. “adds flavor.”
they lean on the wall together, easy silence for a second.
“you see the tat guys?” sukuna asks, chin-jerking toward the kitchen. “someone just got a fucking worm on their calf. like a literal earthworm. said it was ‘symbolic.’”
choso laughs, low and thick. “symbolic of what?”
“dunno. being dirt, i guess.”
he doesn’t respond. just looks back at his phone.
sukuna raises a brow. “you good, dude?”
“yeah.”
“you look like you just had a vision.”
choso finally meets his eye.
“yo,” he says slowly. “you ever just feel something and know you gotta do somethin’ about it right now or you’ll bitch out?”
sukuna squints. “uh. like what?”
choso doesn’t answer.
instead, he pushes off the wall, hoodie slipping off one shoulder again, lighter still clutched in one hand, phone in the other, and starts walking.
sukuna watches him go, a little amused. “damn. alright.”
the air is thick with smoke and bass as he weaves through the crowd, bumping shoulders, dodging a girl dancing with her heels off and her hair in her face.
he reaches the makeshift tattoo stand.
it smells like rubbing alcohol and regret.
“yo,” he says, voice smooth as silk and twice as slow.
the guy behind the table, ink sleeves up to the neck, black gloves, sunglasses indoors, glances up.
“what’s up, man?”
choso leans down slightly, eyes low-lidded and unreadable, body loose and stoned and sexy in that careless way he always carries.
he holds out his phone.
“can you do this,” he asks, “on my arm?”
the artist blinks, then looks at the screen.
it’s a close-up of a girl’s eyes, wide, seductive, yet still glowing with laughter. looking up at the camera like whoever took the photo was the only thing in the world.
looking up at him.
choso taps the screen once. “those are hers.”
the guy raises a brow. “like… your girl?”
choso shrugs one shoulder. his eyes never leave the photo.
the buzz of the needle starts soft, a low, persistent hum, and choso doesn’t even flinch. he just leans back, one arm draped lazily across the armrest, hoodie shoved halfway up his bicep where the artist wiped him down with alcohol. his eyes are half-lidded, bloodshot from whatever gojo rolled earlier, but locked on the phone he’s holding out in his opposite hand.
the picture’s still up. her eyes, warm and wide, lashes curled, looking up at him like she trusts him with her whole heart.
“pretty,” the tattoo guy mutters, angling a small light to get a better look as he sketches the stencil. “yours?”
choso’s mouth curves slow. doesn’t answer right away. just flicks his lighter open and closed, click, click, click, the red spider lilies catching the light each time.
then finally:
“nah.”
the guy hums. “girlfriend?”
he huffs a little, amused. “not that either.”
he sets the lighter down on the table beside him, keeps his eyes on the screen.
“she’s just,” he pauses, then shrugs, soft and slow, “her. y’know?”
the artist side-eyes him. “deep.”
choso smiles again, eyes unfocused. “nah, i’m just fuckin’ high.” the guy presses the warm stencil into choso’s arm, smooths it into place.
“you sure you wanna do this while you’re, uh,” he glances at choso’s glassy expression, the faint grin still tugging at his mouth, “clearly not sober?”
“i’m not wasted,” choso says lazily. “and i’m not dumb. it’s not a mistake.” the artist nods once, respects it. “alright, man.” he flips on the machine again, lines it up.
“you done this before?” choso grunts a laugh. “y’think i got these in my sleep?” he gestures vaguely at the black ink already crawling across both arms, jagged, abstract lines, constellations and waves, some faded with age. some done in basements like this one. “first time sober was the weirdest one.”
the guy snorts. “fair.”
the needle hits skin.
choso exhales slow. doesn’t flinch, doesn’t shift, doesn’t even blink hard. just stares at the wall across the room, jaw slack, hoodie sliding off his shoulder, the buzz settling into the meat of his arm like a low hum of intention. “you ever tattoo someone like this before?” he murmurs after a beat.
“like what?”
he shrugs again. “someone who’s… y’know.” the guy doesn’t answer right away.
choso elaborates, voice softer this time. “she’s not mine. i don’t want her to be. not right now. it’s not like that. it’s just…” he trails off, brows furrowing a little, tongue tucked against the inside of his cheek.
“she just means somethin’. don’t got a word for it.”
the artist doesn’t look up from his work, but his tone’s gentler when he speaks again. “yeah. i’ve seen that before.” choso sinks deeper into the chair, breathing even. the pain’s dull and constant, but it grounds him. keeps his thoughts from spiraling too far out, keeps his high in this exact moment.
“you think she’d be mad?” he asks, voice airy. “if she saw it?”
“dunno,” the guy says. “you gonna tell her?” he blinks slow, head rolling back against the headrest.
“nah.”
another pause.
“not now. it’s just for me.” the tattooer gives a small nod. “that’s real.”
a silence settles between them, the steady hum of the needle, the sound of someone vomiting into a bush outside the window, a muffled scream from the beer pong table two rooms over.
“looks good,” the artist murmurs, wiping excess ink from the forming lines of the eyes. “she’s got crazy lashes.”
choso huffs out a small laugh. “she’d fuckin’ love that you noticed that.”
“yeah?”
he smiles again, softer now. “talked about lash serum for like a week. gave me a whole presentation.”
the guy chuckles under his breath. “sounds like she talks a lot.”
choso closes his eyes.
“she talks just enough.” the buzz continues. the lines take shape. her eyes, right there, etched into his skin. not to claim. not to confess. just to remember.
just for him.
~
the buzz dies down gradually, tapering into a low hum before the artist finally flicks the switch and pulls back. the sudden quiet settles like a heavy blanket over the both of them, just the soft thud of bass from the next room and the subtle scrape of latex gloves against skin.
“alright, man,” the artist says, leaning back with a stretch. “done.”
choso blinks slow, still slouched deep in the chair like he’s been there for hours, like the cushion molded around his bones. he lifts his head, eyes hazy but laser-locked on the strip of bandage being pressed to his upper arm.
“yo, hold up, lemme see it before you cover it,” he says, voice low and hoarse from either weed or reverence, maybe both.
the guy lifts a brow, but obliges. carefully wipes the skin one last time, blood and excess ink coming away in soft red-black smears. the room’s fluorescent lights hit the raw lines at an angle, shining off the freshly tattooed skin like it’s something holy.
and fuck.
there it is.
your eyes.
wide and soft and open, curved lashes sweeping upward in a way no stencil should’ve captured but somehow did. that quiet way you look at him, like he hung the stars, like he’s yours even if the two of you never say it out loud. inked permanent on the soft part of his bicep, nestled between a set of waves and the jagged edge of a half-finished constellation.
for a second, he doesn’t speak. doesn’t move.
he just stares.
it hits him slow, like a good edible, starts behind his eyes, low and warm in his chest, then spreads.
yo.
he’s obsessed.
like fully, all the way, brain-meltingly obsessed.
he turns his arm slightly under the light, eyes tracing the lines, the slight curve of your upper lid, the detail around the corners like you're mid-laugh or mid-thought or both. it looks exactly like you, his favorite version of you. the version that looks up at him like nothing else exists in the room.
god.
you look good on him. not in the possessive way. not even close. it’s not that.
it’s something else. something way quieter. something he can’t even name when he’s sober, and definitely not now, baked out of his skull with his arm still tingling and his hoodie falling half off.
but still, he’s wearing you now. and it feels like something that’s always been true, just waiting for the ink to make it real.
“you good?” the artist asks, half amused, already reaching for the plastic wrap again. “yeah,” choso says, slow, mouth crooked into a lazy grin. “looks fuckin’ sick, dude.” the guy chuckles under his breath. “kinda figured you’d say that.”
“you killed it,” choso adds, finally dragging his eyes off the tattoo. “like, actually.”
the artist nods, pleased. “appreciate it. was fun as hell to do, honestly. you sure you don’t want her name or somethin’? under it?” choso snorts. “nah. that’d make it weird.”
“fair.”
he watches the guy gently press a clean dressing over the fresh ink, tape it up. the sensation’s a dull sting under his skin, not quite pain, just awareness. a reminder that it’s real now. that it’s his, for good.
she doesn’t know. you might never know. and that’s kinda the whole point. he’s not gonna flash it at you mid-party or say anything slick when you sit beside him later like you always do, throwing your legs over his lap and stealing his drink.
nah.
this one’s just for him. a secret under his sleeve, tucked into the curve of his body like a memory.
“you gonna keep it under wraps?” the guy asks, like he can read choso’s whole plan off his face.
“yeah,” choso mutters, grabbing his hoodie and tugging the sleeve back down with a practiced flick. “at least for now. don’t need her freakin’ out or nothing.”
“bet,” the guy says with a short laugh. “i get it.”
choso stands slow, body still heavy from sitting too long and smoking too much. he sways a bit but rights himself, shaking out his arms like he’s just come up from underwater. the whole basement smells like blood and rubbing alcohol and resin, but it’s warm, and the energy buzzes low and steady around him.
he digs in his pocket for a few bills, slaps them into the artist’s open palm.
“appreciate you, man.”
“anytime, bro. take care of that, don’t go dunkin’ it in a keg or anything.” choso grins. “no promises.”
he walks out with his hoodie draped low, sleeve tugged all the way to his wrist despite the heat and the crowd and the chaotic press of bodies funneling in from the hallway. music floods back in slow, a pulse of bass syncing up with his own heartbeat.
but he can’t stop thinking about it. every step he takes, every time the sleeve brushes against the fresh ink, it reminds him.
not of what they are.
but of what you mean.
upu didn’t need to give him that lighter. you didn’t have to think about him in that little quiet way you always did, like he’s more than just a weed plug or the guy you party with every weekend. that little moment, just you in your dorm, painting red spider lilies on a bic you knew he’d never throw away? that shit went straight to his chest. and now you're on his skin. maybe you'd freak out if you saw it. maybe you'd cry. maybe you'd laugh.
maybe you'd get real quiet and never say anything again. or maybe you'd look at him the way you did in that photo. maybe you'd look at him like you knew.
but all that’s for later. for now, he’s just stoned as hell, arm warm and throbbing, and so unbelievably content that it’s almost embarrassing.
he spots gojo again across the room, already perched on the arm of someone else’s couch with a red solo cup and a grin like he owns the house. choso veers toward him, slips back into the noise like he never left.
sleeve tugged down.
lighter in his pocket.
eyes on his arm, just for him.
~
later that night you navigate yourself back to choso after your banter with the girls.
you spot him sunk deep into the cushions, hood half up, curls falling into his face, a bottle of water in one hand and his eyes half-lidded and sleepy with that lazy high he wears better than anyone. he’s surrounded, gojo splayed on one armrest like he owns the place, sukuna lounged sideways with his feet on the table, and suguru perched on the edge, nursing a half-finished blunt.
“yo, look who it is,” gojo grins as you walk up, already clocking the way you move like you’re headed home, not just to a guy. “princess finally found her prince.”
you don’t say anything, just slide right into the little space at choso’s side like it was made for you. his arm shifts automatically, pulling you in like it’s instinct, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, letting out the softest exhale. you can feel the thrum of his voice in your cheek when he speaks.
“hey, ma.”
his hand’s warm against your hip, steady, grounding. he smells like weed and cedar and the faintest trace of paint from the lighter you gave him. it’s in his pocket now, safe like something sacred.
“so anyway,” suguru picks back up like you didn’t just crash-land in choso’s lap, “i’m telling you, the guy had no idea what he was doing. tried to roll with a swisher, no guts, just dumped the weed in and twisted the end like a fuckin’ lollipop.”
“god, not the lollipop roll,” sukuna groans, dragging a hand over his face. “freshman?”
“of course it was a freshman,” gojo says, grinning. “those little guys think watching one youtube tutorial makes them bob marley.”
“yo, remember that one dude at the delta party?” choso says, head tilting back slightly. “rolled a joint with a bible page.”
“amen,” sukuna snorts.
“nah, for real,” choso laughs, hand tightening just slightly where it rests on your side. “he said it made the high holier.” you huff against his hoodie, and his fingers flex like he felt it, like it was the best sound he’d heard all night.
they keep going, weed stories, party war stories, the dumbest shit they’ve ever seen in a frat house at 3am. it’s relentless, loud, chaotic, but you stay quiet, tucked against choso’s side like he’s the only still thing in the room. his thumb runs in slow circles against your waist through the fabric of your top, and you feel the way he laughs before you hear it.
“yo,” gojo says, leaning across suguru to point at choso. “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done at a party?”
“besides adopt a girlfriend he doesn’t kiss?” sukuna adds. choso blinks slow. doesn’t rise to the bait, doesn’t even twitch.
“probably that time at theta when i fell asleep in the bathtub and woke up with a raccoon in my lap.” suguru chokes. “you serious?”
“deadass.”
“was it… alive?”
“bro. it was chillin’. just vibin’ with me.”
“you probably hotboxed the tub,” gojo says, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “raccoon was just tryna get high.”
choso grins, soft and slow, and you nudge your nose into his hoodie like you’re hiding your own smile. “what about women?” sukuna says suddenly, eyes glinting like he’s fishing. “y’all ever hook up at your own party?”
“you’re disgusting, that's against reg” gojo tells him cheerfully.
“don’t lie,” sukuna drawls. “you know you have.”
“alright, once,” gojo admits. “but i kicked her out after because she tried to name my bongs.” “you’re heartless,” suguru says, deadpan.
“you don’t name the bongs,” gojo insists. “they earn names. it’s sacred.”
“what about you, choso?” sukuna’s gaze cuts sideways. “you got bodies stacked in your stoner dungeon?” choso hums, slow and easy. you feel the low sound in his chest, pressed flush to your cheek.
“nah,” he says. “i don’t hook up with girls who don’t know how to roll.” the boys howl, gojo nearly falling off the couch.
“that’s so on brand,” suguru laughs. “you need standards,” choso mumbles, amused, and leans his cheek briefly against the top of your head.
the lighter’s still in his pocket. his arm’s still over your shoulders. and beneath the sleeve of his hoodie, hidden from the world, your eyes are inked into his skin.
you shift a little, just enough to tuck your legs under yourself, settling more fully into him, and he adjusts without thinking — arm around you tighter now, palm spread warm across your ribs, thumb grazing your side through the fabric. he’s careful. doesn’t let the hoodie ride up. doesn’t let anyone see. the tattoo’s still fresh, still tender, and it’s just for him.
“yo, you good?” suguru asks, nodding at him. choso blinks slow. “yeah man’.”
“that weed hit hard,” gojo says. “i feel like i’m seein’ sounds.”
“you tryna kill someone?” suguru laughs. “every time i hit one, i feel like my soul’s leaving my body.”
“shit’s a rite of passage,” sukuna shrugs.
“nah, a rite of passage is hosting a rager with a cop at your door and acting like you live there,” gojo grins. “have you?” choso asks, amused.
“bro, i’ve answered the door in a bathrobe before,” gojo says proudly. they all crack up again. you don’t say anything, but your smile’s pressed right into choso’s chest, and he dips his head for a second to nuzzle his nose into your hair.
“she’s real quiet tonight,” suguru says, noticing. “nah, she’s just comfy,” choso says easily. “she don’t need to talk when she’s like this.”
you don’t. not when you’ve got his warmth, his arm around you, his voice rumbling low in your ear with every lazy joke. it’s always like this, like no one else in the room really matters, like you could fall asleep right here and he’d keep the world spinning while you did.
“that’s love,” gojo says mock-serious.
“shut up,” choso mutters. but he doesn’t stop smiling. and the lighter’s still warm in his pocket.
and your eyes are still inked into his arm, safe and secret beneath layers of cotton and smoke.
~
the house is still going when you two finally get up. it’s past 2am, maybe closer to 3, but the music hasn’t let up and there’s still people on the floor, drinks in hand, voices loud and slurred over each other. someone’s passed out with a sharpie mustache, another guy’s making out with a pillow. classic kappa chaos.
choso’s the one who moves first. you feel it in the way his arm shifts, in the soft brush of his thumb against your side like a nudge. he leans in close, voice barely above a murmur.
“you good to dip?”
you nod into his hoodie, eyes half-lidded, heart heavy with warmth and weed.
he helps you up slow, palm steady at your back. when you stand, the cold air from the open back door hits your legs and you shiver a little, instinctively leaning back into his side. he shrugs his hoodie higher and throws an arm around your shoulders like he already knew it’d happen.
“yo,” choso calls out over the couch, voice scratchy and low. “we out.”
gojo perks up from where he’s still posted with a half-spilled drink, eyes bright. “tell your girlfriend goodnight for us.”
you don’t say anything, just press your face into choso’s shoulder again, and he laughs under his breath.
“night, man,” suguru says with a nod, already halfway into rolling another blunt.
sukuna lifts a hand lazily. “text if you end up in a ditch.”
“if i do, i’m takin’ you with me,” choso mutters.
they all laugh again, and it follows you both out the front door, the porch light buzzing weak and yellow above you. the night’s cooler now, quiet in a way that makes everything feel soft around the edges. your heels click against the pavement as you walk, but only for a second, choso notices and without a word, crouches down in front of you, glancing back over his shoulder.
“get on.”
you blink, amused. “seriously?”
“c’mon, ma,” he mumbles, tugging at your wrist. “your feet hurt.”
you climb onto his back with a little laugh, arms wrapped loose around his shoulders, and he stands like it’s nothing, steady under your weight. his steps are slow and sure down the sidewalk, the frat house lights shrinking behind you, the sounds of the party fading with every step.
“you always take care of me,” you mumble against his neck.
he hums low. “’course i do. you're my.. best friend.”
you walk like that for a while, his hoodie soft against your cheek, his hair brushing your face every time the wind shifts. he doesn’t say much, just hums sometimes or comments on dumb shit you pass, a traffic cone in a bush, a raccoon on the curb that freezes when it sees you, like it knows choso somehow.
he sets you down once you’re close, only when his own building’s steps are in sight. his hand stays in yours as he leads you inside, up the stairs, past the other bedrooms where people are either passed out or definitely not sleeping. his door clicks shut behind you with a soft thud, and everything goes quiet.
his room’s the same as always, warm, dim, the faint smell of weed and whatever incense he burned earlier in the week still lingering in the corners. one sock on the floor, a hoodie thrown over the back of his chair. you’ve been here a hundred times, maybe more.
but tonight feels different. softer. warmer.
he pulls his hoodie off slow, careful of the sleeve, and tosses it toward the desk chair. the bandage underneath catches the light for a second, but he turns before you see too much.
you toe your shoes off and crawl onto the bed without thinking. he follows, slower, body still heavy with high and heat and something else he can’t name.
you’re both under the blanket when he finally speaks.
“hey.”
you look over, curled on your side facing him.
his eyes are half-lidded, soft. one arm tucked behind his head, the other stretched toward you, palm open on the comforter like he’s offering it.
“i really fuckin’ love that lighter.”
your heart stutters a little. “yeah?”
he nods, slow. “like… a lot. been using it all night. even switched pockets for it, kept checking to make sure it didn’t fall out or get swiped.”
you smile, something small and full blooming in your chest. “good. it’s supposed to be yours.”
“feels like it.”
he looks at you for a long second. the space between you shrinks until his arm slides around your waist and pulls you in close.
you go easy, always do, settling into him like he’s your own bed, your own pillow, the place you always end up no matter how far you drift.
he breathes in slow, his nose brushing your hair.
“the flowers… why’d you paint those?”
you press your face into his chest.
“they reminded me of you,” you say quietly. “red spider lilies. they’re kind of… complicated. people think they’re about death or goodbye, but they also mean memory. rebirth. starting over. they grow in all the places nothing else does.”
choso’s quiet for a second.
then, soft, “you think i’m like that?”
you shrug against him, voice even softer. “i think you’re the kind of person who sticks. who stays even when shit gets hard. and you don’t always say how you feel but… you’re steady. like those flowers. like fire.”
he exhales slow.
“fuck, ma.”
“what?”
“you’re gonna make me cry or some shit.”
you laugh, a quiet huff against his chest. he wraps both arms around you now, tucking you into the space beneath his chin, his hand sliding up into your hair.
his fingers stroke slow, gentle. again and again.
“you can cry,” you mumble. “i won’t tell.”
he chuckles low, the sound vibrating through you.
“nah, i’m good. just… i dunno. not used to someone thinkin’ about me like that.”
you don’t say anything. just curl closer, your fingers fisting lightly in the fabric of his shirt.
the room settles into silence. soft and slow. your breaths even out together.
his hand keeps stroking through your hair, steady and grounding. like he could do it forever. like maybe he will.
his voice comes again, quieter this time.
“gonna keep that lighter forever.”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut. “good.”
“not even gonna let gojo touch it."
“definitely good.”
his lips brush your hair, a ghost of a kiss.
you feel it all, the warmth, the safety, the way his body curls slightly to fit around yours like a shield, like a home.
his heartbeat’s slow against your cheek.
“night, ma,” he whispers, already half-asleep.
you murmur it back, voice slurred with sleep, breath syncing with his.
his fingers keep moving, slow circles through your hair.
and in the soft dark, beneath the blanket, beneath the silence, his arm curls around you just enough to press the fresh ink on his bicep to your side, a quiet secret. a permanent truth.
just for him.
just for tonight.
just for you.
~
~
it’s been a chill afternoon, sun’s out, classes dragging, brain fried. choso’s walking out of the lab building with his earbuds in, hoodie half-zipped, replaying your last message in his head. a pic of your shoes kicked off under a library table, captioned come save me, three broken hearts. made him smile. still does.
he’s almost past the quad when a shadow cuts across the sidewalk.
“yo, choso.”
doesn’t need to look up to know who it is.
that voice, too smooth. familiar in the kind of way that feels like smoke curling up your back.
he pulls one earbud out and slows.
toji’s leaned against the trunk of an oak tree like he’s been waiting. sunglasses on, black tee snug across his chest, arms crossed like he’s got all day. his smirk’s already half-there.
“what’s up?” choso mutters.
“you got a sec?”
choso gives him a long look. he knows toji. knows the kind of calm that means something’s coming.
“…yeah,” he says anyway.
they walk.
they’ve done this before, that time a few weeks ago before his lab, once or twice after parties, when everyone else was loud and drunk and messy. toji’s always been different. sharper. like he watches the room just to see where it bleeds.
“how’s life at delta mu?” toji asks after a few steps. casual. fake.
“same shit.”
“yeah?” he smirks. “you still throwing those weed parties with your little mascot?”
choso’s jaw ticks. “you mean y/n?”
toji chuckles. “yeah. her.”
he tosses a glance sideways. too casual.
“she’s got some energy, huh? always bouncing around, arms all over you. she like that with everybody or just you?”
choso doesn’t answer. toji doesn’t need one.
“nah, i’ve seen it,” he continues. “always tucked up next to you. on your lap. wrapped around your arm. clinging to your hoodie like it’s the last blunt in the world.”
he laughs under his breath. “kinda cute.”
choso’s fists go deep in his pockets.
“she’s just like that,” he says flatly.
toji hums. “you sure?”
choso looks over.
“what’s your point?”
“just wondering,” toji shrugs, still smiling like it’s harmless. “you’ve told me before, you two aren’t dating.”
“we’re not.”
“but you hang out every day.”
“yeah.”
“sleep in the same bed sometimes, right?”
choso’s mouth tightens.
toji grins like he caught something.
“so she’s single?”
choso stares straight ahead.
“…yeah.”
“good to know.”
silence.
the wind brushes through the quad. students chatter behind them. someone’s playing music from a bluetooth speaker in the grass, something smooth, almost romantic. it doesn’t help.
“she’s just real… open, you know?” toji says. “like, warm. sweet as hell. makes you feel like you’ve known her forever.” choso stays quiet.
“i ran into her the other day,” toji adds like it’s nothing. “outside the gym. we talked for a sec.” his tone is lighter now. teasing. like he’s digging.
“she remembered my name. smiled real nice, too. said she was headed to meet you.”
no surprise there. you always say where you're going. always talking about choso like he’s the center of your world. and maybe that’s why this stings. and toji knows it.
“you ever wonder if she does that for you?” he asks. “tells other guys she’s headed to see you. uses your name like a shield.”
he doesn’t wait for a reply.
“or maybe it’s just habit. maybe she’s comfortable. you ever think about that?”
“don’t do this.”
choso’s voice is low now. warning. toji just smirks.
“look, man. i’m not trying to piss you off. just… trying to understand. ‘cause you act like you’re her boyfriend, but then you say you’re not.”
he tilts his head.
“so which is it?”
choso breathes slow through his nose.
“we’re close. we’ve always been close. that’s it.” toji nods. like he buys it.
but he doesn’t.
“damn,” he says. “you got more patience than me.”
“what’s that mean?”
“means if a girl like that was pressed up on me every night, i wouldn’t be wasting time calling her my friend.” he says it with a grin, but there’s something sharp underneath.
“you really never tried?” toji asks. “never kissed her? not once?” choso doesn’t respond. he can’t. he kisses you all the time, on the head, bebe ron the lips.
because the truth’s stuck in his throat, the way you fall asleep in his arms, the way you hold his lighter like it means something, the way you always come back to him like he’s home. and he’s the dumbass who never claimed you.
“so she’s single, then?” toji repeats.
“yeah,” choso says, barely above a whisper.
toji gives him one last nod.
“cool,” he says. “just wanted to be sure.” and then he walks away. choso doesn’t move. not for a long time.
just stands there, fists clenched, teeth gritted, watching toji’s silhouette disappear down the path like it’s a threat, because it is. he knew.
he knew before he asked.
and now he’s coming.
because choso left the door wide open.
and you?
you’re free to walk through it.
~
choso’s room, late afternoon
your legs are curled under you on choso’s bed, hoodie three sizes too big hanging off your shoulder, his, of course. the windows are cracked open, letting in the soft hum of birds and the echo of some guys yelling down at the basketball court. his room smells like incense, sage and something deeper, something him, warm, sleepy. you’ve been here a hundred times like this. maybe more.
his hoodie sleeves keep sliding past your wrists as you text, thumbs quick, quiet smile pulling at your lips. he’s across the room, digging through a drawer for his rolling tray. you can feel his presence without even looking. always do.
“yo, did you move my grinder?” he calls, glancing over his shoulder.
“nope,” you answer, distracted, fingers still flying over your screen. your phone lights again.
toji [3:04pm]: you looked cute at that mixer last night.
you bite your lip. thumbs hover.
then you type:
you [3:07pm]: oh you're stalking me noww?
you don’t see choso pause. you don’t see how long his eyes linger on your phone. you don’t realize he saw the name, until he speaks.
“who you texting?”
you blink up, tone of his voice unfamiliar.
“hm? oh—” you shift your phone in your hand, instinctive. “just… someone.”
he tilts his head.
“someone, huh.”
you laugh a little. “why do you sound like that?”
he doesn’t answer. he crosses the room instead, slow steps. plants himself at the edge of the bed, arms folded. you look up at him and that warm energy’s gone. replaced with something colder. sharp.
“that toji?”
your breath stalls.
“…yeah.”
choso stares at you. unreadable.
“why?”
“what do you mean why?” you ask, eyebrows tugging. “he messaged me. we were just talking.”
he hums. low. not buying it.
“just talking,” he echoes. “what about?” you sit up straighter. “what’s going on?”
“what’d he say?”
“choso—”
“lemme see.”
he gestures at your phone. you clutch it instinctively. like muscle memory. like guilt? “are you serious right now?” he doesn’t answer. jaw’s tight. eyes dark.
“what’d he say?” he asks again. your fingers squeeze your phone. you feel a flush crawl up your neck. not from embarrassment, but shock.
“you’re not serious,” you say again, this time quieter. he just looks at you. so you speak.
“he said i was cute when i was bored. and i said maybe. that’s it.”
his jaw ticks.
“you flirting with him?”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
you scoff. “no. i wasn’t. it wasn’t even- i didn’t mean it like that.” choso steps back, runs a hand through his hair. pacing now.
“you texting him while you’re in my bed?”
“what does that matter?”
“it matters.”
his voice is sharper now. rough around the edges. not loud, but tight, like it’s fighting to stay inside his chest. “you know how i feel about that guy.”
“choso, he’s been nothing but nice lately—”
“he’s not nice. he’s not interested in being friends. he’s waiting. he’s circling. you don’t see it?” you blink.
“so what, you’re mad ‘cause i texted him back?” he looks at you like you just spit on the floor. “i’m mad ‘cause you’re in my fucking hoodie, in my bed, telling some other guy he’s got a shot.”
you freeze.
the silence that falls is loud.
so loud.
your eyes widen. you stare at him, lips parted. unsure if you heard that right. unsure if he meant to say it.
“a shot?” you echo. he looks away. exhales hard.
“never mind.”
“no,” you say, voice firm now. “say it again.”
he doesn’t. but you both feel the truth echoing off the walls.
you look down. suddenly too warm. like the hoodie’s burning your skin. “…i didn’t know you’d care,” you say, almost to yourself.
choso swallows. “i do.” you glance back up.
“why?”
he doesn’t answer. but you already know. and now the air is thick with it. the unspoken thing. and for the first time, it’s not sweet. not warm. it hurts.
because it means everything he’s never said, everything he’s been, came with conditions you never agreed to. came with borders he never drew, but expected you not to cross.
you breathe slow. he watches you. you speak first.
“if you wanted to be the only one texting me like that, you should’ve said something.” choso’s face shifts. his mouth opens like he’s going to say something, defend himself, maybe, argue the way he always stays quiet because he doesn’t want to lose you,but nothing comes out.
instead, his brows knit together, lips pressed in a tight line. his fingers curl at his sides.
“you really think i don’t wanna be that?” he says, voice rough. “you think this shit’s been casual for me?” you blink at him. your breath catches.
“you’ve never said it was anything else, choso. what was i supposed to think?”
“fuck,” he growls, pacing again. “you were supposed to know. i thought you knew.”
his voice rises, not yelling, but loud with frustration. he’s unraveling in real time, and it’s shaking something loose in you, too. “how was i supposed to know?” you shoot back. “you flirt but you never say anything. you touch me like i’m yours but act like i’m just your best friend—”
“you are mine.” your voice dies in your throat.
he stares at you. and when he speaks again, it’s quieter, but no less intense.
“you’re mine,” he says again, like a confession. like a curse. “always been mine.” your stomach flips.
“then why—” your voice cracks — “why didn’t you ever tell me?”
choso runs a hand through his hair again, like he’s trying to physically hold himself together. like it hurts.
“’cause i was scared,” he snaps. “scared that if i said it out loud, it’d fuck everything up. that you’d look at me different. that you’d leave.” you stare.
“so you’d rather let someone else have me?”
he stiffens. you rise onto your knees on the bed, fire lighting behind your ribs now. “you’d rather let toji of all people try it?”
his jaw clenches. “he’s not gonna have you.” your heartbeat skids.
he moves in fast, faster than he ever has, and grabs your wrist, firm but not rough, like he can’t bear to let the distance exist any longer.
“i’m not letting him have you,” he mutters.
you’re still frozen, looking up at him. something between fear and thrill curling in your gut.
“choso,” you whisper. he doesn’t stop. he pushes you back gently onto the bed, one hand catching your waist, the other bracing against the mattress. he hovers over you, breath heavy, eyes searching your face like he’s begging you to see it, really see it this time.
“i’m fucking in love with you.”
your heart punches into your throat. his forehead dips, pressing against yours, voice hoarse.
“i’ve been in love with you since you showed up to my first party and we listened to that dumb song together.”
you let out a shaky laugh, but your eyes are wet his thumb brushes your cheek.
“i never said it ‘cause i thought this was enough. thought just having you close was better than risking it all. but i can’t—” he pulls in a breath, voice shaking now too — “i can’t sit quiet while other people try to take you from me.”
you’re blinking fast now. breath catching. every inch of your skin feels like it’s on fire beneath his touch.
“you’re my girl,” he says again, softer this time. “you’ve always been mine.”
you don’t answer right away. your chest rises and falls beneath his, shallow and unsteady. your palm is still on his cheek, but your eyes have shifted, staring past him now. unfocused. wet.
“you’re only saying that,” you murmur, “because someone else finally had the balls to go after me.”
his breath catches. your voice is quieter, but sharp now, like you’re trying to convince yourself. like you want to believe it, but the cracks are there, and they’re splitting open.
“you didn’t say anything until he got involved. until he started asking about me. texting me. seeing me.” your hand falls away from his face. “and now suddenly, i’m yours?”
his eyes widen. “no—”
“you had so long to tell me, choso. so many chances.”
“y/n, it’s not like that—”
“then what is it like?” you breathe. “’cause i don’t get to be the girl you only want when someone else does.”
choso stares at you, heart hammering. like you just ripped something raw and bloody straight out of his chest.
he swallows.
and then, slowly, he pushes back, just far enough to sit up on his knees beside you. the mattress dips with the weight shift. his hands fumble for the hem of his hoodie.
he pulls it up and over his head in one quick move. your breath stutters.
there, inked into the inside of his upper arm, where he’d hidden it every time you curled up against him, is a tattoo.
of your eyes.
staring straight back at you.
your real breath, the one stuck in your throat, finally punches out of you.
choso watches your expression shift, eyes flicking from the ink to his face and back. he swallows once, hard, and says:
“got it the night of the party. when you gave me the lighter.” you blink.
“you were curled up on me. whole time i was talking with the boys, i couldn’t stop thinking about you. how close you were. how you looked at me like that was your home.” he swipes a thumb under his nose, like he doesn’t know what else to do with his hands. “so i got up, high as fuck, to the guy tatting people in the corner. told him to ink your eyes on me.”
your lips part, but nothing comes out. his voice softens.
“i didn’t say anything ‘cause i thought it was enough. just having you near. but it’s not. not anymore.”
your heart pounds so hard you feel it in your ears.
he looks at you like you’re the only thing in the room. like he needs you to believe it. really believe it.
“this isn’t about toji. it’s never been about him. i wanted you long before he ever said your name.”
you’re still staring at the tattoo.
he moves closer again. his hand brushes your knee, gentle.
“you think i’d get your fucking eyes on me just ‘cause i’m jealous?” you blink fast.
his hand finds your face again. tender. grounding “you’re it for me.”
his voice is low, raspy. not just from the emotion, but from how hard he’s holding it in, like if he lets go, everything he’s ever felt for you will come spilling out and drown him.
but he lets it go anyway.
“you’re all i think about,” choso says, brushing his thumb over your cheek again. “when i’m high, when i’m sober, when you’re across the room and laughing at someone’s stupid joke, when you’re asleep in my bed, wearing my shirt, you’re in my head all the time, ma.”your breath catches.
“every song reminds me of you. every little thing you do drives me crazy. you don’t even know how much of me you’ve got.”
he leans closer, forehead nearly touching yours.
“you gave me that lighter and i wanted to kiss you right there in the middle of the street. when you paint your nails i stare at your hands for hours. when you fall asleep on me at parties, i sit still like a statue so you don’t move. i’m always lookin’ at you like i already lost you. and it kills me.”
his hand finds your jaw, warm and steady, fingers curling behind your ear. your breath hitches, and he’s close enough to feel it.
“you’ve had my heart since freshman year. and i didn’t say anything ‘cause i thought maybe you didn’t want it. or maybe you already had it and didn’t need to hear it out loud.”
you swallow, shaky. lips parted. cheeks flushed.
and choso looks down at them, your lips, like he’s been holding himself back from kissing you for a lifetime.
and then he doesn’t anymore.
he crashes into you like he’s starving.
the kind of kiss that drags a sound out of your throat before you even realize it, all heat and pressure and ache, all the months and years and everything he’s shoved down, poured out into the way his lips mold against yours. he kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll pull away, and like he knows you won’t.
your hands claw at his shoulders, winding into the mess of his hair, tugging him in even closer. and choso groans, deep in his throat, pressing you down into the bed, slotting his hips against yours.
his mouth moves fast, desperate, lips, tongue, teeth, like he can’t get enough. like the taste of you is something he needs in his lungs.
“fuck,” he breathes against your mouth, dragging his lips down your jaw, “you don’t get it, do you?”
your back arches, lips parting when he sucks lightly under your ear.
“how bad i’ve wanted this. you.”
his hands roam, over your waist, under your shirt, up your sides like he’s trying to memorize all of you at once. and every place he touches leaves a trail of fire.
you moan his name, soft and shaky, and he loses it a little more, bites your bottom lip as he grinds his hips down into yours, heavy and hot and so there.
“say it again,” he mutters, eyes half-lidded, forehead pressed to yours. “say my name.”
“choso.”
he shudders.
“again.”
“cho!.”
he kisses you so deep it knocks the breath out of your lungs. kisses you like he owns you, like you’ve always belonged to him, and like he’s finally letting himself claim what’s already his.
and fuck, you let him.
you’ve wanted this just as long. needed him just as bad.
and now, with your limbs tangled, your body burning under his, your heart thudding like a war drum in your chest, there’s no more pretending.
you’re his. he’s yours. and it’s written all over his face.
choso looks at you like you’re the only thing he’s ever wanted, like he’s starved for you, but still savoring the moment. his eyes are dark, heavy-lidded, but soft. reverent. he cups your cheek with a hand that’s just slightly trembling, brushing his thumb along your skin like he can’t believe you’re real.
he kisses your forehead, slow and grounding, like a promise. then your nose. then your lips, and that one lingers. warm, aching, deep enough that it steals the air from your lungs. it’s not just desire. it’s everything he’s never said until now.
“please let me see you, ma." he whispers, voice hoarse, like he’s been holding back forever.
you nod, lips parted, eyes locked with his. your breath stutters as his fingers ghost over the hem of your shirt, lifting it inch by inch like he’s unwrapping something precious. he tosses it aside, only to pull you in again. his palms spread wide across your ribs, thumbs brushing just beneath your chest.
“fuck,” he breathes, low and to himself. “so fucking beautiful.”
he leans in, mouth dragging hot and open along your neck, kissing and breathing you in, his lips trembling against your pulse like he’s drunk off you. he murmurs something there, a soft, almost desperate, “mine,” before he undoes your bra with one practiced flick.
and when it falls away, he doesn’t touch you right away. he just stares, like the sight of you has knocked the wind out of him.
his hands come up slow, palms warm as they cup you like he’s afraid to break something delicate. “been dreaming about this,” he says. “about you. here. like this. in my bed. lookin’ up at me like you already know i’d give you everything.”
you shiver under the weight of it all, his voice, his gaze, his touch. and then his mouth is on your chest, lips sealing around your nipple, tongue flicking before he sucks — slow, deep, just enough to make you arch into him with a needy whimper.
“choso…”
he groans, hand sliding lower, fingers hooking into the waistband of your shorts. he pulls them down with your panties in one motion, dragging his palms down your thighs on the way. and when he sits back, just to take you in, bare, breathless, flushed, his eyes go wide, like he’s trying to commit you to memory. “look at you,” he murmurs, chest rising with each ragged breath. “you don’t even know what you do to me, do you?”
you reach for him, tugging his shirt up and over his head, palms skating down the strong lines of his chest, stopping only when your fingers find his arm. your breath catches.
your eyes. inked in black and red over his skin, etched like a confession. you won't ever get sick of seeing it.
he watches you take it in, sees the exact moment you understand, and he doesn’t say anything. not at first. he just leans in, takes your hand in his, and presses it over his heart.
“see?” he whispers. “been yours. always.”
your eyes brim, chest tight with something that has no name. and then he kisses you again, slow and deep, tongue stroking yours, hand sliding between your thighs. he groans into your mouth when he feels you, warm, wet, already trembling.
“so wet for me,” he mutters, lips brushing yours. “all this for me, huh?”
his fingers dip into you, one at first, then two, slow and deep, curling just right. your back arches, mouth falling open with a gasp as he starts to move them, watching every twitch and shiver you give him like he’s memorizing the way you come apart. “fuck, baby,” he breathes. “you feel so good, been wantin’ this for so long. just wanted to take care of you. make you feel good.”
his lips trail back down, mouth closing around your nipple again as his fingers keep working you open, the room echoing with your broken gasps and soft moans. he kisses your sternum, your ribs, every inch of you he can reach like he’s trying to make up for every second he didn’t have you.
and when your legs start to tremble, when your thighs squeeze around his hand and you whimper his name into the crook of his neck, he groans, low and sexy, and pulls back just enough to strip the last of his clothes.
his cock is flushed, hard, already leaking, and still, he pauses.
he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours, breathing hard. “you sure you wanna do this hun?”
“i want you,” you whisper, voice cracking. “i want all of you.”
and when he slides in, slow, deliberate, it’s overwhelming. your nails dig into his shoulders, mouth open in a silent gasp, and he just groans, long and low, burying his face in your neck.
“fuck, baby… you feel so fuckin’ good, made for me, huh?”
his hips rock into you, slow and deep, dragging along every sensitive inch inside you until you’re trembling again, mouth parted in helpless moans. he kisses you through it, messy and uncoordinated, full of teeth and tongue and need.
he doesn’t hold back anymore. not his body, not his voice. he’s everywhere, his hands, his mouth, his words, and every thrust is rougher, deeper, hotter than the last.
“been yours since the day i met you,” he breathes against your skin. “you’re mine, baby. mine. no one else gets to have you like this. no one else even fuckin’ compares.”
you believe him. how could you not, when he’s saying it like he’s been waiting years to let it out?
you fall apart first, clenching around him with a strangled moan, whole body trembling as your orgasm crashes through you, and choso follows, grinding into you with a low growl, holding you close as he spills into you.
he doesn’t let go. not even after. he stays buried deep, forehead to yours, one hand cradling your jaw like it’s fragile.
“not lettin’ you go,” he whispers. “not now. not ever.”
~
the party’s already in full swing when you two walk in. the bass thrums under your feet, bodies packed tight in the kappa house. familiar faces flash by in strobes of color and sound, solo cups raised, someone laughing too loud, gojo shouting across the room with a bottle in each hand.
and then you and choso step into the chaos like it’s nothing. except tonight, it’s not nothing. it’s everything. your hand is in his. his thumb strokes over your knuckles like it’s second nature, and you’re tucked into his side like you’ve always belonged there. he’s wearing that hoodie you love, and you’ve got it slung off your shoulder like it’s yours now. he hasn’t let go of you since you walked through the door, and he doesn’t plan to. people notice.
gojo sees first. his mouth falls open around the mouth of a beer can, and he drops it on the counter with a dramatic gasp. “oh my god.” choso raises an eyebrow, smirking. “no fuckin way,” sukuna mutters, eyes narrowing. “this for real?” you don’t say anything. just smile, nuzzling into choso’s chest. and choso, god, he melts. his arm tightens around you like instinct, like he’s not even thinking about it. “you’re kidding,” maki blurts from across the room. she’s half-drunk and squinting, pointing her beer bottle at you two like she’s trying to make sense of a mirage. “you finally fucked?”
“maki,” shoko hisses, slapping her arm, but she’s already grinning. “i knew it. i knew it.” suguru lifts his drink with a slow, knowing smile. “took you long enough.” gojo, meanwhile, is spinning in a circle like he just witnessed a miracle. “wait wait wait,” he says, pointing between the two of you. “you’re telling me this entire time, we’ve been watching you two eye-fuck each other across every frat house on campus, and now you’re just casually showing up like this?”
“what can i say,” choso murmurs, pulling you even closer, “i figured it was time.” “look at his hand placement,” shoko says, leaning into maki. “that’s not friends. that’s boyfriend hand placement.”
“yeah and look at her,” maki laughs. “she looks like she just got dicked down and praised like a goddess.” you duck your head a little, embarrassed, but choso leans in and kisses your cheek, then your temple. it’s so soft, so easy, and when he pulls back, he looks straight at toji who’s staring wide eyed, steady, calm, but with a flicker of challenge in his eyes.
“don’t look at her like that,” he says, voice low. “not tonight. not ever.” toji scoffs, raising his hands in mock surrender, but his grin is sharp. “damn. someone’s possessive now.”
“been possessive,” choso mutters, like it’s not even up for debate. he turns his attention back to you instantly, brushing your hair behind your ear.
“you okay?” you nod. “i’m perfect.” and then he kisses you. not a peck. not for show. it’s slow, unhurried, with his hand cupping your jaw and his lips moving with the kind of tenderness that makes your knees weak. the room could be burning down and he wouldn’t stop. you don’t even hear gojo’s dramatic screech until you break apart.
“yo this is crazy,” he says, spinning around and yelling to no one in particular. “choso is off the market. choso kamo, resident stoner-lover of no one but his weed and his hoodie collection, is now cuffed.”
“what’s it feel like,” suguru asks with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at choso, “to be someone’s boyfriend?”
“feels like i shoulda done it years ago,” choso says. you blink up at him, heart catching in your throat. “yo,” yuuji calls from the other side of the room. “does this mean we’re finally allowed to say you two have been in love since freshman year?” “i always said it,” nobara yells, shoving through the crowd with a drink. “don’t act like y’all didn’t see them cuddled up at every party like an old married couple.”
“wait does this mean she’s moving into his room?” gojo asks, visibly spiraling. “what’s gonna happen to the guest bed? who’s gonna roll for me when choso’s too busy being in love?”
“die mad,” choso says flatly, and everyone laughs. but even through all the noise and teasing and attention, his focus never strays from you. his hand stays on your waist. his eyes keep dropping to your mouth like he’s remembering exactly what it feels like.
“you good?” he murmurs again, like he just wants to hear you say it.
you press your nose to his chest and nod, smiling. “more than good.”
he kisses you again, slower this time, like it’s just for you. like no one else is in the room. like he’s exactly where he’s always wanted to be.
and the thing is — he is.
he’s yours. fully, finally, publicly.
awe wasn't that sweet 👩❤️💋👨 masterlist !!
guys look at this beautiful art @ryololart did inspired by this fic i love her go like it rn omg this is the perfect visual.
