Transition
wow. I’ve not been on here in forvever. I came back becasue I have some pinned up stress and words that are begging to be free but my journal is no where to be found; this is my second best option. I re-read two of my latest journal entries on here and I realized a couple things: how well I write (then and now haha) and how much I’ve grown. One thing that has stayed the same, however, is the stress I feel sometimes when I give other people control and influence over my decisions. We all experience stress and anxiety in our lives and those emotions are triggered by various things... I’m triggered, at the moment, by wedding planning and how expensive it’s becoming. When we first decided to pursue a lifetime together through marriage, we wanted to elope. We wanted to skip off to South America and get married in a Spanish chapel, just him and I. Our families opposed it. Mainly because they felt entitled to be apart of it and they wanted all of our loved ones to witness it and be able to celebrate with us. But now that we have the ball rolling on a proper wedding that fits our styles but grants their wishes, they are all hesitating to contribute financially. It’s so frustrating. What I’ve learned from this is: people will project their wishes and dreams and expectations on you, and then will sit idly by and watch while you carry out those duties. Offering little financial and physical support, but will have a million opinions and ways they “think” you should do it. I want to scream so badly. Sometimes, I wish we would’ve stuck to our guns and eloped like we had planned. There’s still time; we just might. It’ll be a lot cheaper, alot more romantic for us, and it’ll be on our own terms. The flip side to all this is- there’s so much positivity floating around us right now. This summer I graduated with my masters, I started my own business, I just accepted a really cool role with Amazon, he just purchased his first commercial property and on his way to finish his degree. We have so much to be grateful for and God has really changed our lives around for the better. I just needed to share the stress of wedding planning with someone who would listen and not judge or give advice.. just listen.
