SNDKYLA

young lady contain with summer breeze and spring bliss

[wilted-scenes]

[sugarslayer]

Flower market in Bangkok, Thailand

[sugarslayer]

Flower market in Bangkok, Thailand

[sndkylaaa]

BRASS : Lancashire, from the beginner eyes

im not a board game geek, but one of my friend is and the last time we met he try to brainwash me with 2 board games that he bought. he not forget bring 2 of his friends from boardgame community. i think this is how they adding a new member haha

we play at one of a restaurant near my place. we met, sit, then order food of course. begin with the first game

Blood Rage

"Life is Battle; Battle is Glory; Glory is ALL"

In Blood Rage, each player controls their own Viking clan’s warriors, leader, and ship. Ragnarök has come, and it’s the end of the world! It’s the Vikings’ last chance to go down in a blaze of glory and secure their place in Valhalla at Odin’s side! For a Viking there are many pathways to glory. You can invade and pillage the land for its rewards, crush your opponents in epic battles, fulfill quests, increase your clan's stats, or even die gloriously either in battle or from Ragnarök, the ultimate inescapable doom.

this game is interesting, but bc this is my first time i don’t really understand each role of the minis. after 4 hours with 3 phases of dooms day (lol), we continue to the second game.

Brass: Lancashire 

first published as Brass — is an economic strategy game that tells the story of competing cotton entrepreneurs in Lancashire during the industrial revolution. You must develop, build, and establish your industries and network so that you can capitalize demand for iron, coal and cotton. The game is played over two halves: the canal phase and the rail phase.

i more interested in the second game, this Brass game is series. there is another Brass game

Brass : Birmingham

they said the Birmingham is more complicated than Lancashire. but i’d love to try. if i can master the Lancashire only with one game, why cant i masterize this Birmingham, right?

[sndkylaaa]

30 Nov 2021

a lot of things happened after my last journal my last heartbroken

good and bad things but mostly better than before

kayaknya akan dipisah postingannya perbulan just want to review today on this post

--

semua pekerjaan selesai sebelum jam 10 pagi ini yang sebenarnya juga sudah selesai kemarin hari ini tinggal minta approve karena orang clubhouse pada outing kantor kemarin. i don't want to disturb their happiness with work tho

sisanya nonton film. dua. The Many Saints of Newark dan Josee to Tora to Sakana-tachi. nanti di review ya

mau nonton lagi tapi kok ya malu sama HR di sebelah (walaupun ujung-ujungnya tetep nonton akhirnya KATE yang ke-skip karena ketiduran. ha. tapi kate seru asli parah!)

karena bingung mau apa lagi tetiba kepikiran untuk aktifkan site ini lagi

--

akhirnya tinggal 30 menit lagi bisa pulang

p.s. hujan seharian awet banget ga berhenti bahkan cuma gerimis redanya.

[recaption]

[recaption]

[sndkylaaa]

21 june 2021

another mentoring session

setelah beberapa hari sebelumnya mendapat kejutan yang mantap sampai membuat dada ini terasa panas.

this is what i tell to my mentor and my best friend

"Soalnya sakitnya bikin panas dada, jujur, kayak Lo pernah ga sih nempelin kaki deket mesin angkot? Ga melepuh, ga mendidih, tapi panasnya nusuk. nyerep. Ga bisa dinangisin.."

walaupun bisa nangis sih setelah beberapa hari, itupun harus dipancing, kalau ga ya ga akan bisa nangis dan tetap panas rasanya.

I really mad at him for any reason. but I cannot mad at him too

these also my fault, so

I don't blame anyone. we just not meant to be together.

tapi tetap ada pertanyaan yang mengganjal

"kenapa setelah sekian lama? kenapa menyesal dan seakan akan kasih harapan untuk memperbaiki semuanya? but you with someone else already?"

lebih baik tidak ditanyakan dan tidak tau apa alasannya.

[recaption]

[sndkylaaa]

[recaption]

[recaption]

[sndkylaaa]

ga bisa banget ya pinjam meminjam barang

ohiya lupak

kan saya menjiejiekkhan

ambil untungnya ajalah ya

jadi gausah beli

[awakeningthevioletswithin]

[cybersadbitch]

[sndkylaaa]

yup my life is totally messed up

idk it is just me or everybody feel this on their birthday. maybe just me. i always feel like a dumb stupid piece of shit every year. like i always promise to myself to be a better person, to achieve more, more this, more that ... but it ended up nothing.

am i a better person? not really?!

did i get any achievement? no!

here i am still jobless, useless too, always wanted to live my own life but here i am at my dad's house again, do chores that my step mom can't do because of she's always sick like every twice a month,

also got blamed because i refused to help my brother to 'have his responsible to do anything that he cannot do, because of he's lazy or he just don't want to do it, so he messing it up so my parents know that he cannot done it well, so he'll never get that responsibility to do it anymore in his life'

aarrgghh fcuk!!

then the most miserable thing happened recently is family meeting, while everybody updated their successful life

"alhamdulillah mbak ini keterima ppds neurologi" <Program Pendidikan Dokter Spesialis (PPDS) just incase you wonder>

"alhamdulillah mas itu sudah menikah / sudah bertunangan"

"... sedang hamil"

"... sudah keterima kerja di sini"

"... mau berangkat ke luar negeri kerja di sana"

i'm happy for them too, like for real, i am happy..

but i cannot lie that i'm sad.. i just got an email that i get rejected, haven't got a job, not in any relationship, which is a bad news if i tell them that i'm pregnant. duh.

i mean.. why..

i really wanna scream at that time "stop it!! can you not telling a good news in front of people who is not even have a good life at this moment?!"

it's like you telling how wonderful your family to an orphan. that's rude.

(finally i really crying rn, this tears i've been hold for almost two months, bc idk how to cry it out loud)

i can't even enjoy celebrating my birthday last month

"ini hari pertama puasa, ga seharusnya kamu keluar sama orang kafir sementara orang lain tarawih pertama!"

i know they are not a muslim, but they are my real mom's friends and the only one who never ever forget my birthday and always be the first person who calls and text me 'happy birthday'. tho i'm on my period.

and she fight with my dad bc he let me met them?!

whyyy!! why she always put me in this kind of situation!! where i have to feel guilt about things i want to do to make myself happy!!!

.

.

.

but here i am couldn't do anything. except pretending idgaf about it.

fake laughing again. yeah i'm also deaf and blind.

pretend i don't get offended by they saying

.

.

.

i hate myself rn, but i also feel sorry for me for hating me

i feel really sorry to bu gendut (momma cat i fed). she just lost her 3 of 4 kitties, bc they hide inside my dad's car machine <<bc my dad need to ride the car, but they don't want to get out and i cannot even see to reach and safe them>>

and she's still calling them some times, day and night near my room. i know she's really worried but i can't tell her that she cannot even see them again. i'm very sorry for your lost bu gendut..

.

.

.

now I need to get off my ass and working on my portfolio and final project again.

[understands]

[star-plasma]