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@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
Noah Kahan
YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Interview Vampire Daily
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@snitchingbuttgrabber-blog
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol turns green, "explodes" and then disappears.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG
HOLY SHIT
((Fuck, I’m on mobile))
If you your on mobile you can just hold the reblog button down
Had a bit of a set back in the emotions side of things today. I thought I felt ok about the guy thing that happened last week...Had a bit of a random cry this afternoon. I know he didn't...mean it as such...but I feel a bit used. Like he didn't have the balls to tell me about the other person/intending to go on another date with them and decided to have sex with me anyway. I mean I consented to the sex as well. There's no issue with that. But I wouldn't have had sex with him if I knew he was interested in someone else. If he'd told me after we kissed that night, I would have been a little embarrassed but it would have been different. I know I need to get over it. It's not happening with him and I hate myself a little cause I still think we could have had a really good time together if he'd given me a chance to go on a proper date. But nope :( I just feel like I'm always the one getting hurt in these relationship scenarios. It really fucking sucks.
So nothing is happening with that guy now. Man this week has been an emotional roller coaster. I told him I wasn't comfortable going to dinner with him if he was seeing someone else and gave him my reasons. He said he felt like an ass and owed me a proper explanation. Turns out the "other person" was one date that he'd been on with. But the point was he felt he wanted to go on another date with them and therefore shouldn't have led me on a little on the Sunday. So he asked if that was a deal breaker, wanting to go on a date with this other person, and I said it was. So we/he decided that he couldn't give me what I was looking for and that maybe we shouldn't go out then. So that sucks. But I think I'm gonna be alright. I suppose it's better than getting into something with him and developing deeper feelings and have him do something like cheat or dump me for another person then. It does really suck though :( Maybe I'll meet someone wonderful next year and actually have a relationship that lasts more than 8 months. That's all I seem to manage right now.
Supposed to be having dinner with this guy on Sunday possibly, if he confirms. The longer I sit with the idea that he wants to see me (even casually or whatever this is) while seeing someone else, the weirder it feels. I'm just bothered by the fact he didn't tell me before we slept together. I feel like that's something he should have disclosed while we were clearly flirting...and making out. Oh by the way, I'm seeing someone as well, are you cool with that? No? Ok, I'll sleep on the couch instead. When I responded to his text, I thought I was ok with it. But the longer it been and the more I've discussed it with people of different perspectives, the less I like the idea. It feels funny to me that he and I could go on a date and share a special moment, and then wonder if he's going off and having that moment with someone else. I'm a very monogamous person. I don't think I could share someone, and I think I'm too jealous a person to try. So unless he's interested in seeing me a little more exclusively, then perhaps I need to let this one go. And at the very least, I got a great one night stand out of it. *facepalm*
*facepalm* Of course I have to get kinda involved with someone who is a little more complicated that it appears on the surface. There's a person I'm interested in. And they're keen on going out for a drink, but has told me he's also seeing someone else. I have no idea how to deal with that because that's an entirely new situation for me. I don't know if I can see someone who is seeing someone else. But I don't have all the facts about that yet so I don't know what to do. To be honest, I've never understood how someone can "date" two people at once. Especially when something like sex is involved. How do you commit something like that to two people? So maybe this won't work out. Which sucks. Cause there were slight feelings for him and really nice intimate moments I severely missed.
Having a bit of a stressed afternoon trying to finish my last assignment for the year and had enough. So I decided to sing a little bit which relaxes me. Thought I might record it and see what people thought. Song is "Wayfaring Stranger".
My outfit for the Yule Ball last night! I "played" the bagpipes as part of The Weird Sisters band.
So yeah, still trying to process what happened last night. Ok so the whole thing was amazing. I look forward to the Yule Ball every year but this one absolutely rocked. I felt amazing all dressed up. Usually I'm a bit self conscious about dancing all crazy like when people are around but these people are some of my closest friends they're almost family. So I went a bit nuts. I danced like no one was watching. This guy though...I met him once before last year. And at the time, I had a boyfriend so I didn't really linger any thoughts on him beyond oh he's pretty cool, and nice looking. I remember thinking that. So yeah, we were all getting ready for the Ball and I was talking to him a little bit more, he was asking about my writing which was nice and I felt like he was genuinely interested. Thoughts started forming in my head... Got to the Yule Ball and when everyone was dancing, we kept finding ourselves dancing with one another. And none of this sweet couply slow dance...like proper crazy dancing. And throughout the night he kept being a little touchy but not in a creepy way, just a hand lingering on my arm or my knee at the table. Cue talking to people who have noticed what were happening. So eventually we're at the table sharing a bunch of Bertie Botts beans and Sherbet Lemons he won as the door prize and it was hilarious awkward us trying to flirt. He admitted to being really shy about this stuff and I said I was as well. And then said one of our friends was like "You guys can't hook up tonight." Yeah that lasted around another minute or two before I just...pashed him. It was not a quick nervous kiss. Ultimate face smash in the best way possible. And then it didn't stop. And hands were on my neck and the back of my head pulling me into him. I find that shit utterly hot. Also sucking on my lip. I don't know why I love that so much but I do. There were a few pauses to laugh or say something but this went on for a while. Usually I hate PDA. I don't like seeing others making out and whatnot. But for a night like this? I don't think anyone would have cared. The lights were off and most people were dancing. Then we went back to the dance floor for the last few songs. More dancing super close and then he just grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss. Jesus christ. Heart attack moment. It was amazing. I don't do shit like this! I don't have the confidence to just kiss people without a lot of build up. I don't know where this is going, or what it is, apparent from he texted after the ball last night and again this morning but I'm going to try and play it cool. Even if it goes nowhere, best kiss I've had in a very long time.
So tonight was the fourth annual Yule Ball for my University's HP society. And it was AMAZING. Went as a member of the wizard wrock group The Weird Sisters and made bagpipes for us to perform with (non functional sadly). Was a fantastic night with good food...awesome dancing... Oh and making out with a fucking gorgeous guy. Yeah that happened. Spent the whole night flirting (I guess?) and dancing super close. And sharing Bertie botts beans and sherbet lemons... Yup. God I missed kissing someone and that was incredible. So we'll see if this goes anywhere.
I'm so fucking upset at myself at the moment and it's over something stupid. I was really geared up to go to this poetry slam in Wollongong tomorrow night. It was supposed to be a great celebration night for handing my major project in. Was gonna go out for drinks after. And the friend who was gonna drive me all the way home has now apologised and can't do it because of assignments and other commitments. And because of fucking course I can't drive still, have to rely on buses, there's no way for me to get home. And no where for me to stay down there cause I hate asking people. So now my evening will be spent at the doctors instead because my back is fucked and it hurts to move. So that's brilliant. I just wanted to celebrate the end of session and go out for a fun night. But nope. I'm restricted by my own incompetence. I'm terrified of driving. I'm not that bad really but I'm just so nervous and I don't know whether it's just because of my Dad being the one teaching me and I get worried we might have a fight in the car. I want to feel so much more independent but I'm just fucking stuck. I don't know when I'll be able to move out of home. I want to go travelling. I want to finish my degree. I look at all my friends and they just seem to be five steps ahead of me. Living out of home. Driving. Taking care of themselves. And I feel like a child. I'm fucking 21 next year for christ's sake. I keep thinking what things were like this time last year. I was in a really nice relationship. I had a date to the HP Society Yule Ball with said boyfriend. I hadn't been battling with an anxiety disorder. It sucks cause some really good things have happened this year but a lot of fucking shitty things too. I have great friends but I'm lonely. Not having a good night :(
OK to make a font out of your own writing
go here
http://www.myscriptfont.com/
instead of printing it off just use this blank thing that way you dont have to scan it or anything
so fill that out by pasting it in any art program and whatnot
then save it and upload it to that site
and itll give you an option to download it
so do that and then install it BAM
I JUST GOT THIS ON MY TABLET IT’S SO COOL OH MY GOD
So I'm pretty sure I got the best "your face is nice" compliment last night. Was chatting with this guy and he said I looked stunning in a photo that I put on Facebook. I said that it was the red lipstick doing it's job. To which he replied: "Well you look lovely already. The red lipstick was an accent on what were already fairly solid foundations, so to speak." Cracked me up. And we're gonna catch up next week sometime now so he can give me some files for a radio show on a usb. Haven't met him in person yet so I've no idea what to expect. Buuuuut stacks of my friends know him and one of them is his housemate so. Yup. Ok. That happened. Gonna go work on assignments now...
Talking to a guy on facebook and I'm actually nervous! Didn't think I could feel like this again. Being impressed by his poetry writing skills and then ability to translate it into an elvish language hahah.
So a really cute guy smiled at me as he walked past this morning. I was still tired and didn't process it fast enough to smile back. Forever sad at that. Bonus. A cute guy acknowledged me. Perhaps I don't suck as much as I thought I did post-breakup.
Tonight I made friends with my friends girlfriend and also A HOT GUY WANTS TO GET WITH ME.?? Wow I’m fuckin sloshed wtf
I think this is just funny for me to read cause I just remember you being all little and year 7 at school :P
So I have this assignment that has thus far caused painful headaches and a couple of horrible fucking anxiety attacks in which it is hard to fucking breathe. It's a hypothetical grant application, and as I'm a writing student, I'm "applying" for money to write a piece of work or something. All I need is a one sentence project summary. Ok. And then a detailed description of the project (no more than 2000 characters not words). But the thing that is throwing me off is the 750 word "written commentary on where your project will fit into the Australian literary landscape". i have no fucking idea! Because frankly I don't even know what that means! I'm using the project I'm writing for another class cause fucking coming up with a whole new idea just for this. And yes I suppose I should know where this fits into the "Australian literary landscape". My project is in the magical realism genre (if you can call it a genre). Researching into "Australian Magical Realism" and it's all about stories that are set IN Australia and are ABOUT Australia yada yada. My sister said it's not that my story is about Australia but that my characters ARE Australian. But...unless I am intentionally writing about Australia (which I hardly do) I don't fucking notice anything in my writing that ties back to Australian culture. Oh why do my characters dress this way, or act this way, what has this got to do with the way Australian culture has shaped them? I don't know! I don't fucking think about that stuff when I write most of the time. This stupid thing is worth 50% of my grade! And I don't know how to do it. I want to go back to focusing on writing the actual project I want to write because I really need to get a substantial amount of it written. But I just can't focus on anything or enjoy anything until I know what I'm writing for this other assignment and it's stressing me out way too much. I just don't want to do anything. I just feel like crying all the fucking time.
